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I really liked your story! I enjoyed how your friends are a big part of the story as well, as it gives the story more depth. I also really liked how many inner thoughts where packed into the story. I wish that you described the pawn shop more, however because you only say “Wow look at it” And we are left wondering what it looked like. Great story overall also I hate red socks Yankees are better

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Your piece was amazing, details, and exaggeration was on point! I love the way that you made the pain that you felt in your leg make me feel like I was being punched in the leg. I love how you told me that your teammates screamed “Ball, ball, ball!” because that made me feel like about 20 kids were screaming at me (like usual).I don’t even have a wish! You are an amazing writer and I already want to read more!

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I thought it was a great memoir. The details were amazing a I could really picture what was happening. I loved how you described what it was like when you walked up to the plate.

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The original watcher of the cooper who became copper man

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The original watcher of the cooper who became copper man

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I liked how you chose this moment as it was a great moment and also Hilarious to watch. You looking at the sky while running into the catcher. The dugout was practically bouncing when you got to second base. That was the funnies play I have ever seen in my 4 years of baseball. It was also described very well. I guess my wish is I could go back and see the play happen again because it was that funny. Thank you for getting hit a total of 6 TIMES on the play and giving us our own superhero. Go raiders!

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Something you did really well was how you describe stuff with a ton of details.  Like how you describe home plate like it was a diamond in the ruff. You also describe you friend Caden really well, I felt like I was seeing him with my own eyes. Another thing I enjoyed was how much figurative language. There is more figurative language than I can count and that’s like 20. In some of my future writing pieces I’m going to use some of you figurative language like I ran like  usainmn bolt. Something you should keep in mind for your next writing piece is grammar. There was more spacing in some places that didn’t need to be there. Also I a sentence or two there was no punctuation. But overall very good piece.

Cooper you are sooooooo cool BFFs foreves

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One very good part of your memoir “game day” was how you included so much figurative language. It really helped me get engaged better in the story. One example o when you did this is when you wrote “Like someone punched me in the leg 100 times” it helped me really connect to how you were feeling in the moment. Another one of your strengths in the story was you added many inner thoughts and that really helped me connect to you. One example of this is when you said “Oh no why did I run for second base I’m 100% out oh no oh no” it really helped me see your level of panic in the moment instead of just I was worried.  Although you did a great job in your piece, one thing I think you could have done a little better is gave more description of the place you were in.
BFFs forever

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Good piece Cooper, i like how you said that your coach gave you the “ what was that look” i play soccer and my coach has given me that look sometimes i also liked how you described your friend Caden “ brown eyes, Brown hair” you used good descriptive words. I think that you can improve on spelling usian bolt you spelt it usainmn, i also liked how you said you collect baseball cards and you’re grandpa has a rookie babe Ruth, good piece
Bye bff

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I like how you started off with one subject and then kept writing on the same topic for the next couple of sentences. I like that you even announced when you were going to switch the topic.I really don't know what to put for a wish but I'll just put something in, I wish that you explained what you liked about that book in like a short sentence or two.
BFFs forever

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Dear Coop. I really liked your writing! I thought you did a great job with your writing! I really liked how much you wrote about baseball! I really liked how you advertised for the best photographery studio on earth! (Get your shot today!) I would have liked for your to talk a little more about each thing. Great job Cooper!
Sincerely youre Yankees fan friend!!!

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I really liked how you described how you really like collecting baseball cards and how your grandpa has a babe Ruth rookie card which is really cool. Another thing you did good was when you transitioned from you likes to dislikes and how you put good description in everything. All though i agree with you with the homework i think that maybe you could shorten up that sentence a little bit. Other than that you’re about me was excellent!
BFFs forever

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Filter profanity is on so if you cuss it turns into a nice emoji 

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Filter profanity is on so if you cuss it turns into a nice emoji 

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A strength of your piece is the showing of your contention with your grandfather that you’ve shown throughout your piece. My favorite part that you add your grandfather about was your quote. This shows that your grandfather is a very wise man. I also enjoy how you expanded your love of baseball so far. You made sure that people know you were a baseball guy. You didn’t only say that you played but also that you collect cards and watch it, by saying you had a favorite team. A suggestion I would offer for next time you do something like this is that I feel like your piece was rushed and that you rush to get it done. Next time you do something like this I would try to expand on more things that aren’t baseball.

Great job cooper bffs