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Kathryn Kelly, NCT antenatal teacher, explains: 'The Fourth Trimester is a way of describing the period after birth when both parents and baby are adjusting to their new lives.

'We think of other trimesters as being three months long, and we can think in terms of roughly another three months after the birth to make the adjustments to being a new family.'

What's the fourth trimester like for babies?

Having been in your warm womb for nine months, your baby has now got to get used to a sensory overload of sights, sounds and smells, as well as a frequently colder environment where they're not constantly supported by your protective amniotic fluid.

Kathryn says: 'Babies have been used to being fed continuously, sleeping when they want to, and being rocked in the cosy embrace of their mum's tummy. When babies are born we introduce gaps between feeds, and put them in a different place to sleep. It's no wonder that they can find this scary, and it's natural that they cry to express their fears.'

Understandably, babies are likely to cry more in this three-month period than any other time in their life. But however logical it might be, it doesn't make this period any easier for new parents. Knowing that other parents are going through the same experience, and thinking of this period as the fourth trimester, might help.

'Parents describe it as a very useful concept, which reminds them that it is OK to find the early days with a baby hard. It is a period of transition, where women become mums, men become dads, and babies adjust to life outside the womb,' Kathryn says.

What can you do to help your baby in the fourth trimester?

Fundamentally, the closer your baby feels to you, the happier they will be. According to Kathryn: 'Anything that mum, dad or other carers can do to replicate the womb-like world will help their baby feel safe. And when we feel safe, we thrive. For your baby, this means holding them close, perhaps in a sling, so they feel the warmth of your body, hear your heartbeat, and are gently rocked as you go about your day (or night).

'Feeding for babies, just like for adults, is about more than just nutrition, it's also social - a way of sharing and being with those we care for. Feeding your baby whenever they they want to will support their emotional development, as well as their physical and intellectual development.

'Your baby will sleep when they're tired, and you will both feel safer if they're close to you. Many parents tell me that in the early days their baby won't sleep in their Moses basket or crib, but only when they're held by a parent. This is perfectly normal and understandable when you think about the baby's point of view. It's important that parents find out about the safer sleep guidelines, and work out a way of sleeping that suits them as a family.'

Can you 'spoil' your baby in the fourth trimester?

No. Despite some people saying that babies need to 'learn' that you won't rush to pick them up every time they cry, in this crucial Fourth Trimester period you can't care for them too much. In fact, the more you look after them when they're upset, the more reassured and confident they'll be.

How might you be feeling?

Even if you're not an international tennis champion, parents who have gone from living busy, independent lives, can find the sudden change to around-the-clock care for a completely dependable infant hard.

Add to that the need to recover from a traumatic or difficult birth, and you can understandably feel like you're the one in need of a little TLC. Kathryn says: 'With the emotional changes in a woman's body, plus the realisation of the enormous responsibility of having a baby, new mums can feel overwhelmed and tearful at times.

'Partners can be dealing with their own response to the birth, their changing identity, and strong feelings about protecting and providing for the family. All of these feelings can also be affected by the way both mum and her partner were parented themselves.'

As with all stages of early parenthood, it's worth remembering that this stage will pass. In what seems no time at all, you might be looking back at the period with fondness at how tiny and attached to you your baby was when they were first born.

However, that is not to downplay how challenging the Fourth Trimester can be for parents. When you're in it, it's all-consuming. You can feel like you don't know what you're doing and you're constantly one step behind.

So, what should I do?

If you think in terms of the first three months of your baby's life being a Fourth Trimester, it can be easier to take the pressure off getting back to 'normal'. You wouldn't have been trying to rush around tidying the house and welcoming endless visitors when you were heavily pregnant, so don't put pressure on yourself to do it now.

'When women are discharged from healthcare some people might think that means they should be able to return to normal life, but there is a long period of adjustment and care needed at home,' says Kathryn. 'Friends and family can support new parents with food, help around the house, and reassurance that they are doing a great job of looking after their baby.'

This is especially important for mums who are raising their baby alone, in which case asking for help from friends and family in advance can help ensure you get the support you need.

Kathryn adds: 'Having very modest aims in the early days - getting outside most days (perhaps a short walk around the block), eating well, resting as much as possible - will change over time to meeting up with friends regularly, getting some exercise every day, and doing the most necessary housework.'

When will the crying settle down?

'As babies grow and change, things that seemed easy one day might feel very difficult another,' Kathryn says. 'A baby's crying tends to peak at around week six, which can mean that parents feel they must be doing something wrong, or that there is a problem with their baby. However, this is normal, and has usually reduced by three months.

'Parents report the excitement and happiness that comes when they see their baby is starting to interact with them, including smiling for the first time.'

Where can I get more help?

'Part of the challenge of this early period is the feeling that there is so much to learn, and to worry about,' explains Kathryn. 'Using safe sources when looking for information about caring for yourself or your baby will reduce anxiety.

'Reputable sources such as NCT practitioners and the website, or NHS health professionals and are a good place to start. Avoid sources of information (including people or media) who make you feel bad about your parenting, and stick with people who you trust and who support you.

'Although things can feel like they're getting harder in the early weeks, most people are feeling much better by around three months after the birth, and some will feel fine before that. If parents are still finding life a real struggle at that point they might consider talking to a health professional, or seeking more support from friends and family, to help them until they are feeling more in control.'

Further information

Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700.

Make friends with other parents-to-be and new parents in your local area for support and friendship by seeing what NCT activities are happening nearby. To find out when an NCT nearly new sale is happening near you, search here.

You might find attending one of NCT's New Baby groups helpful as they give you the opportunity to explore different approaches to important parenting issues with a qualified group leader and other new parents in your area.

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What is the fourth trimester? | Baby & toddler articles & support | NCT

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Everyone knows that pregnancies last three trimesters - so what exactly is the Fourth Trimester? We explain what this crucial stage is, and what it means for you and baby

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1. Consider your priorities

Write them down and keep the list where you can see it. In the first few weeks, try to cut down everything to the minimum - usually just looking after your tiny baby. Let someone else deal with the rest.

2. Batch cook when pregnant

Stock the freezer up. As a new mum, you will love how efficient you were when pregnant and making huge batches of food for your exhausted post-birth self.

3. Make lists

You might be feeling overwhelmed by all the 'normal' things that you're not getting through. While you're in a fog of feeding, burping and changing, write a list of things to tackle when life settles down again. It might make you feel better about shelving them.

4. Don't lose perspective

You might feel like this strange hibernation phase will go on forever but it won't, we promise. In fact, it actually lasts for a very short period and you'll soon be back in the real world and kind of missing it (NCT, 2012).

5. Keep nappies and changes of clothes close by

We're talking about leaving nappies and clothing changes in every room where your baby is likely to be. Dashing upstairs to grab something might not have seemed difficult before but it will now, with a crying baby and someone ringing the doorbell.

6. Accept offers of help from visitors

Absolutely yes, let your visitor wash up or do the ironing. You don't have to let them cuddle your baby and make them tea when you still feel exhausted after the birth.

7. Try a baby sling

Slip your newborn into a baby sling tied onto your front. You'll be amazed how much you can get done around the house while your baby is content being close to you.

8. Relax

Don't ever feel like you're 'sitting around and doing nothing' when you have a newborn. It might be an instinct in people who are used to multitasking to feel guilty when relaxing.

Now is a crucial and irreplaceable time to bond with your baby. So enjoy gazing at them, feeling them grab your finger and lay there stroking their face. Don't feel guilty.

9. Surround yourself with supporters

Talk to your partner, relatives or friends about how you're feeling. If you're worried about anything, pick up the phone to your midwife, health visitor or GP.

Remember the old saying about how it takes a village to raise a child. You can't do this alone, no matter what your situation, so learn to ask for help.

10. Rest

The old clichéd suggestion of 'sleeping while the baby sleeps' might sound unrealistic to mums getting frustrated they can't sleep despite exhaustion. If this is you, at least rest and relax when your baby sleeps.

Put your favourite TV show on, soak in a bath or curl up in bed with a book. That way you'll feel a lot more ready to tackle the next part when the baby wakes. Talk to your health visitor or GP if you think you might be getting depressed (NCT, 2012; MIND, 2016).

11. Look after yourself

Take extra care of yourself in the daytime with nourishing, healthy food and gentle exercise like walking or yoga. Try to rest as much as possible.

Taking extra care of yourself isn't an indulgence. In fact, it will benefit your mental health at a time when it can be easy to not think about yourself at all (WHO, 2008). That's also hugely important for your baby.

12. Meet other parents

While it can be tempting not to get dressed or leave the house with a newborn, it will make you feel about a lot better if you get out there. This'll give you the chance to see other adults who have young babies.

You might join a baby group, find out what's happening at your local NCT branch, catch up with NCT friends or go on an app like Mush that matches you up with mum friends near you. Whichever way you choose to meet others, you'll feel more confident, supported and human. We can't recommend it enough.

13. Do what you used to love doing

You might not be up for doing anything too demanding right now. Yet doing the things that you loved doing alone before you had a baby can improve your wellbeing hugely. Book a hair appointment, go for a swim, or grab some baby-free lunch catching up with a friend.

14. Stockpile some sleep

Without a doubt, the number one new baby difficulty is sleep deprivation. Broken sleep with night feeds in the early weeks can be challenging. We've got lots of tips to help you cope with night feeds here.

You could also try co-sleeping with your baby in bed for part of the night or during the day. Some parents find this helps them get a bit more sleep.

15. Do it as a team

Nothing makes the early weeks and months harder than feeling like you are alone. So if you have a partner, always lean on them for help and support. Keep talking to each other about how you're feeling. That communication will help you better understand each other and what you need in those early days (NCT, 2012).

If you are a single parent, lean on good friends and family for support and help. Find friends who are also parents, and who you can share all the highs and lows of parenthood with.

Further information

Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700.

You might find attending one of NCT's Early Days groups helpful as they give you the opportunity to explore different approaches to important parenting issues with a qualified group leader and other new parents in your area.

Make friends with other parents-to-be and new parents in your local area for support and friendship by seeing what NCT activities are happening nearby.

Home-Start has a parent-helper visiting scheme along with a helpline: 08000 68 63 68, 8am-8pm, Mon-Fri and 9am-12pm Sat.

Healthtalkonline.org has a comprehensive library of face-to-face interviews where parents share their experiences about breastfeeding, birth, parenting and many other issues.

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Adjusting to life with a new baby: 15 practical tips | Labour & birth articles & support | NCT

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Without doubt, the weeks after you have a baby can feel surreal and overwhelming. Here are some way to make coping with a newborn a lot easier.

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Newborn baby poo in nappies: what to expect | Baby & toddler articles & support | NCT

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Your baby’s nappy can tell you a lot - find out more here.

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To reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) the safest place for a baby to sleep is in their own clear, flat, separate sleep space, such as a cot or Moses basket. However, we know that many parents find themselves co-sleeping whether they mean to or not. Wherever you're planning for your baby to sleep we recommend making your bed a safer place for baby. Our advice on co-sleeping with your baby will tell you how.

When not to co-sleep

Whether you choose to co-sleep or it is unplanned, there are some key risks you should avoid.
Co-sleeping with your baby is very dangerous if:
In these scenarios, it is always best to put baby in their own safe sleep space, such as a cot or Moses basket. Keeping the cot or Moses basket next to your bed might make this easier.
Never fall asleep on a sofa or armchair with your baby. The risk of SIDS is 50 times higher for babies when they sleep on a sofa or armchair with an adult. They are also at risk of accidental death as they can easily slip into a position where they are trapped and can't breathe.
Co-sleeping more safely

Keep pillows and adult bedding away from your baby or any other items that could cover their head or cause them to overheat. A high proportion of babies who die as a result of SIDS are found with their head covered by loose bedding.

Follow all The Lullaby Trust's other safer sleep advice to reduce the risk of SIDS such as sleeping baby on their back

To reduce the risk of accidents, do not bring other children or pets into bed with you.

Try to make sure or check that baby cannot be trapped, wedged or fall out of bed or get trapped between the mattress and the wall

Never leave your baby unattended in an adult bed

For more info on co-sleeping and safer sleep read our guide for parents
If you are bedsharing with your baby you should consider any risks before every sleep. It is easy for your situation to change if you are unwell or have drunk any alcohol, which means your baby will be safest in a separate sleep space such as a cot or Moses basket on that occasion.

Co-sleeping with your baby: FAQs

I am worried I might fall asleep while I breastfeed my baby at night, is this ok?

Click here to open this question

Breastfeeding reduces the chance of SIDS. If you feel you might fall asleep we would recommend you prepare the bed as described above so it is safer for baby if this happens.

Make sure you know the advice on when never to co-sleep so you know when to take particular care. It is really important that you do not accidentally fall asleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair. If you think you might fall asleep on a sofa or armchair, put the baby down in a safe place to sleep.

Should I co-sleep with my baby?

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The safest place for a baby is their own separate sleep space, such as a cot or Moses basket. We would just advise you to read all the information on co-sleeping and how to reduce the risks, so you can make an informed decision for you and your baby.

However, there are some circumstances where we would strongly recommend against co-sleeping such as on a sofa or armchair, if anyone in the bed smokes or has drunk alcohol or your baby was premature or a low birth weight.

Can I co-sleep with twins or multiples?

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If you choose to bedshare with twins or multiples we would advise not to bedshare with more than one baby at a time due to risk of accidents associated with bedsharing with more than one baby or child.

Is it safer to co-sleep using a nest or pod than with a baby just lying on the adult bed?

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No. We do not recommend that babies sleep on soft surfaces such as pods or nests. If you choose to co-sleep with your baby the safest place is a clear space on a firm flat mattress the same as we would advise with a cot.

Why do you advise against co-sleeping in certain scenarios?

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It is estimated that around half of SIDS deaths occur whilst co-sleeping, and that most of these are in high risk situations. We do not know the cause of SIDS and why these deaths happen but we do know what some of the risk factors are and that removing those risks greatly lowers the chance of SIDS occurring.

For that reason we strongly advise against co-sleeping when there are risk factors such as a baby being premature or a parent having drunk alcohol.

What bedding should I use for my baby when we co-sleep?
The Lullaby Trust has worked with Public Heath England, Unicef UK Baby Friendly and Basis on two publications to support families with safer sleep advice and advice on co-sleeping more safely. We have also collaborated on a guide for health professionals to have more open and productive discussions with families about safer sleep and co-sleeping. These can be downloaded below.

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Adult bedding should be kept well away from your baby along with any belts or cords from clothing. Keep adult bedding at your waist height and add an extra layer of clothing if you are cold

A baby sleeping bag is a good way of giving your baby their own bedding when bedsharing.

Baby sleeping bags should be well fitted, so the baby can't wriggle down inside. Most sleeping bags are fitted according to a baby's weight, rather than age.

You might also be interested in reading the two Unicef Baby Friendly publications, which are both endorsed by The Lullaby Trust:

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Some parents choose to share a bed (known as co-sleeping) with their babies. Read our advice on how to co-sleep more safely.

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Tiny Happy People is here to help you develop your child's language skills. Explore our simple activities and play ideas and find out about babies and toddlers' amazing early development.

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Children’s language development and parenting advice - BBC Tiny Happy People

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A chatty child is a happy child, so Tiny Happy People is here to help you develop your child’s communication skills through simple interaction and play.

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Breastfeeding takes practice. It takes time to work out which feeding and burping positions feel best. There aren't 'correct' positions - it's about what feels most comfortable for you both, so try them all out to see which feels best.

Burping your baby

Winding, or burping your baby, is an important part of feeding. When your baby swallows, air bubbles can become trapped in their tummy and cause a lot of discomfort. Some babies find it easy to burp, while others need a helping hand.

When should I burp my baby?

There are no rules on when you should burp your baby, some babies need burping during their feed, some after. Look for clues - if your baby seems uncomfortable while feeding, have a little burping break. If they seem fine while feeding, wait until they've finished. Your baby will let you know!

What's the best position to burp my baby?

Support your baby's head and neck, make sure their tummy and back is nice and straight (not curled up), and rub or pat their back gently. You don't need to spend ages burping your baby, a couple of minutes should be enough.

There are a few ways to burp your baby. Try them all out and see which works best - or use a combination:

For confidential breastfeeding information and support, call the National Breastfeeding Helpline on 0300 100 0212. Lines are open 9:30am to 9:30pm every day.

Over your shoulder

With your baby's chin resting on your shoulder, support the head and shoulder area with one hand, and gently rub and pat your baby's back. It might help to walk around as you are doing this.

Sitting on your lap

Sit your baby on your lap facing away from you. Place the palm of your hand flat against their chest and support their chin and jaw (don't put any pressure on the throat area). Lean your baby forwards slightly and with your free hand, gently rub or pat your baby's back.

Lying across your lap

Lie your baby across your lap face down. Supporting their chin (don't put any pressure on the throat area), use your free hand to gently rub or pat your baby's back.

Did you know?

Your baby may bring some milk up while burping, so have a burp cloth or muslin square ready (this is perfectly normal and nothing to worry about).

What if my baby won't burp?

If these methods don't work and your baby shows signs of trapped wind (crying, arched back, drawing legs into tummy, clenched fists), try lying them on their back and gently massaging their tummy. Also move your baby's legs back and forth - like they're riding a bicycle. If this doesn't work, talk to your health visitor, they'll be able to advise you on the best thing to do.

The Breastfeeding Friend from Start4Life, available 24 / 7, has lots of useful information and expert advice to share with you.

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Burping your Baby | Breastfeeding | Start4Life

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Skip to main content Breastfeeding takes practice. It takes time to work out which feeding and burping positions feel best. There aren't 'correct' positions - it's about what feels most comfortable for you both, so try them all out to see which feels best. Winding, or burping your baby, is an important part of feeding.

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for babies and parents

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There are different options for where your baby sleeps. Read more here and also about how to make sure your baby sleeps safely.

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Can dummies affect breastfeeding?

Sucking is a powerful reflex that babies have in the weeks after they're born. Babies don't just get nutrition from their mother's milk when they breastfeed - breastfeeding also satisfies their sucking instinct.

Babies who are not able to breastfeed for whatever reason, might satisfy their sucking instincts by using dummies (Cinar, 2003). Yet any substitute for sucking the breast can put the relationship between the breast and the baby at risk. That's especially true for a baby who has not yet mastered breastfeeding (La Leche League GB, 2019).

When can dummies be used for babies?

Research suggests that it's best to avoid dummies in the first weeks after birth. That's because they're associated with shorter duration of exclusive breastfeeding (Adair, 2003; Kronborg and Vaeth, 2009). Some studies say this is caused by sucking confusion but other studies disagree with this idea (Newman, 1990; Howard et al, 1999).

After breastfeeding is established, dummies can be used. Evidence shows dummies used for healthy babies who are breastfed don't significantly affect the proportion of babies who exclusively breastfeed at three months (Jaafar et al, 2011). So the use of dummies should be limited to soothing babies after breastfeeding is well established (Adair, 2003; Horne et al, 2014).

Does a dummy reduce the risk of SIDS?

Many studies have suggested dummy use and breastfeeding are important factors for preventing cot death (also known as SIDS [sudden infant death syndrome]) (Hauck et al, 2005; Alm et al, 2016).

It's unclear how dummies might protect against SIDS or even if they do actually reduce the risk of SIDS at all (Horne et al, 2014; Blair et al, 2019).

Experts do not specifically recommend using dummies to protect babies from SIDS (Fleming et al, 1999). That's because even studies that reported a remarkable reduction of SIDS with dummy use still say that actually recommending dummies is open to debate (Mitchell et al, 2006). Any association between using dummies and reduced risk of SIDS could be down to lots of other factors, for example:

Dummies might prevent babies from rolling onto their front.

Sucking on a dummy may keep babies' tongues forward.

A baby that sucks on a dummy might be more still at night, so less likely to become covered by blankets.

Parents may check on their baby more frequently if their baby has a dummy (Grocock, 2018; Ball, 2019).

What are the advantages of a dummy?

The main advantage of babies having dummies is that they can satisfy their sucking instincts if they're not breastfed. Using dummies can calm babies and help them to fall asleep (Cinar, 2004). Dummies can also be used to sooth babies at other times, for example to help reduce pain during hospital procedures (Adair, 2003; Horne et al, 2014).

As discussed above, another advantage could be that dummies might protect against SIDS although more evidence is needed (Horne et al, 2014).

What are the disadvantages of using a dummy?

Using dummies can be helpful and convenient but there are some disadvantages. The most important concern is that use of dummies can decrease how often as well as how long babies are breastfed for (Adair 2003; Kronborg and Vaeth 2009; Horne et al 2014).

Another disadvantage of using dummies is that they might also transport bacteria and fungus, which can increase the rate of infections, particularly otitis media - middle ear infection (Uhari et al, 1996; Adair, 2003; Rovers et al, 2008). Mums whose babies used dummies reported more episodes of coughs, wheezing, earache, diarrhoea and gastroenteritis among babies up to six months old (North et al, 1999).

Dummies might also affect how baby teeth grow (Larsson, 1994).

Are dummies bad for baby teeth?

Some studies have found harmful effects on the way teeth grow if dummies are used for a long time (Larsson, 1994). Effects of dummies on baby teeth include overbite, malocclusion, cross bite and open bite (Poyak, 2006).

Using an orthodontic or flat dummy is much better for your baby's teeth, so that can help. These dummies are much better designed than dummies were in the past (Levrini et al, 2007).

It's also suggested that parents wean their children off dummies by two years old and discontinue using them before they turn three (Poyak, 2006).

One mum, Helen, says: "My little boy had started sucking his thumb and I thought an orthodontic dummy has got to be better than that because at least one day I can take it away."

Tips on how and when to stop your baby from using a dummy

If you think using a dummy is affecting breastfeeding (fewer daily feeds, weight gain affected, or difficulties in attaching to the breast) or if you want to wean a younger baby from a dummy, you could try the following:

1. If the dummy is being used as a sleep cue, then introducing a different sleep cue can help.

2. Give extra attention to your baby by cuddling or nursing instead.

3. Try different ways to soothe your baby, such as carrying them in your arms or a sling, or increasing skin-to-skin contact with them. This helps them to feel better.

4. You could restrict your baby's dummy use to certain times only, such as in the car.

5. Rewards might work better for an older child - your local children's centre or health visitor can offer support with this. Some areas even have 'dummy fairies' at Christmas.

6. Try picking a good time to stop using a dummy - when your child is feeling well, things are stable and they're happy.

7. Have a go at hiding the dummy away so your child doesn't see it.

(Cinhar, 2004; Huffington Post, 2015)
This page was last reviewed in July 2018.
Further information

Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700.

You might find attending one of NCT's Early Days groups helpful as they give you the opportunity to explore different approaches to important parenting issues with a qualified group leader and other new parents in your area.

Make friends with other parents-to-be and new parents in your local area for support and friendship by seeing what NCT activities are happening nearby.

Adair SM. (2003) Pacifier use in children: a review of recent literature. Pediatric Dentistry. 25(5):449-458.

Alm B, Wennergren G, Molborg P, Lagercrantz H. (2016) Breastfeeding and dummy use have a protective effect on sudden infant death syndrome. Acta Pardiatrica. 105: 31-38. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5049485/ [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Ball, H. (2019) Dummies, baby sleep info source. University of Durham. Available at: https://www.basisonline.org.uk/hcp-dummies/[Accessed 19 September 2019]

Cinar ND. (2004) The advantages and disadvantages of pacifier use. Contemporary Nurse. 17:1-2, 109-112. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.5172/conu.17.1-2.109 [Accessed 19th September 2019]

La Leche League GB. (2019) Dummies and breastfeeding. Available at: https://www.laleche.org.uk/dummies-and-breastfeeding/ [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Fleming PJ, Blair PS, Pollard K, Platt W, Leach C, Smith I, et al. (1999) Pacifier use and sudden infant death syndrome: results from the CESDI/SUDI case control study. Arch Dis Child. 81(2):112-116. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1718026/ [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Grocock R, Robertson C, Brown N. (2018) Dummies: a review of the evidence; Journal of Health Visiting. 6(4). Available at: https://www.magonlinelibrary.com/doi/full/10.12968/johv.2018.6.4.182 [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Hauck FR, Omojokun OO, Siadaty Ms. Do pacifiers reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome? A meta-analysis. Paediatrics. 116(5):e716-e723. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16216900 [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Howard CR, Howard FM, Lanphear B, deBlieck EA, Eberly S, Lawrence RA. (1999) The effects of early pacifier use on breastfeeding duration. Pediatrics. 103(3):e33. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10049989 [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Horne RSC, Hauck FR, Moon RY, L'Hoir MP, blair PS. (2014) Dummy (pacifier) use and sudden infant death syndrome: Potential advantages and disadvantages. J Paediatrics Child Health. 50:170-174.

Huffington Post. (2015) 9 Ways to wean your baby off the dummy. Available at: https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/08/14/9-ways-to-wean-your-baby-off-the-dummy_n_7336610.html [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Jaafar SH, Jahanfar S, Angolkar M, Ho JJ. (2011) Pacifier use versus no pacifier use in breastfeeding term infants for increasing duration of breastfeeding. Cochrane Database Syst Rev. (3):CD007202. https://www.cochranelibrary.com/cdsr/doi/10.1002/14651858.CD007202.pub2/full [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Kronborg H, Vaeth M. (2009) How are effective breastfeeding technique and pacifier use related to breastfeeding problems and breastfeeding duration. BIRTH. 36:1. Available at: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1523-536X.2008.00293.x [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Larsson E. (1994) Artificial sucking habits: etiology, prevalence and effect on occlusion. Int J Orofacial Myology. 20:10-21. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9055659 [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Levrini L, Merlo P, Paracchini L. (2007) Different geometric patterns of pacifiers compared on the basis of finite element analysis. European J Paediatric Dentistry. 8(4):173-178. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18163851 [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Mitchell EA, Blair PS, L'Hoir MP. (2006) Should pacifiers be recommended to prevent sudden infant death syndrome? Pediatrics. 117(5):1755-1758 Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16651334 [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Newman J. (1990) Breastfeeding problems associated with the early introduction of bottles and pacifiers. J Hum Lact. 6(2):59-63. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2346601 [Accessed 19th September 2019]

North K, Fleming P, Golding J. (1999) Pacifier use and morbidity in the first six months of life. Pediatrics. 103: E34. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10049990 [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Poyak J. (2006) Effects of pacifiers on early oral development. Int J Orthod Milwaukee. 17(4):13-6. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17256438 [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Rovers MM, Numans ME, Langenbach E, Grobbee DE, Verheij TJ, Schilder AG. (1999) Is pacifier use a risk factor for acute otitis media? A dynamic cohort study. Fam Pract. 2008 Aug;25(4):233-6. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18562333 [Accessed 19th September 2019]

Uhari M, Mantysaari K, Niemela. (1996) A meta-analytic review of the risk factors for acute otitis media. Clin Infect Dis. 22(6): 1079-83. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8783714 [Accessed 19th September 2019]

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Dummies, pros and cons: your dummy questions answered | Baby & toddler, Your baby's health articles & support | NCT

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Whether it's to do with breastfeeding, teeth or SIDS, here are some things to consider when deciding whether to give your child a dummy.

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Topping and tailing

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A guide to topping and tailing | Baby & toddler articles & support | NCT

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You may feel nervous about giving your baby a bath to begin with so you could try washing them by topping and tailing them. Here’s a guide on how to do it.

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Sleeping bags

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BabyCentre's editorial team is committed to providing the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information in the world. When creating and updating content, we rely on credible sources: respected health organisations, professional groups of doctors and other experts, and published studies in peer-reviewed journals. We believe you should always know the source of the information you're seeing. Learn more about our editorial and medical review policies.

AAP. 2012. A parent's guide to safe sleep. American Academy of Paediatricians. www.healthychildcare.orgOpens a new window [PDF accessed March 2017]

AAP. 2016a. SIDS and other sleep-related infant deaths: updated 2016 recommendations for a safe infant sleeping environment. American Academy of Pediatrics, Task Force on Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, Policy statement. Pediatrics 138(5). pediatrics.aappublications.orgOpens a new window [Accessed April 2017]

AAP. 2016b. Tips for dressing your baby. www.healthychildren.orgOpens a new window [Accessed April 2017]

Gillen and Bull. 2017. Safety warning over big bow hairbands as it's claimed 14-week-old baby girl suffocated wearing one. www.mirror.co.ukOpens a new window [Accessed April 2017]

ISIS. nd. Baby sleep bags. Infant Sleep Information Source. www.isisonline.org.ukOpens a new window [Accessed April 2017]

Lullaby Trust. nd. Temperature. Safer sleep for babies, Fact sheet 6. www.lullabytrust.org.ukOpens a new window [PDF accessed March 2017]

Lullaby Trust. 2014. Safer sleep for babies. www.lullabytrust.org.ukOpens a new window [PDF accessed March 2017]

Lullaby Trust. 2015. Parents should remove cot bumpers. www.lullabytrust.org.ukOpens a new window [Accessed March 2017]

Kendon M, McCarthy M, Jevrejeva S, et al. 2016. State of the UK Climate 2015. Met Office. www.metoffice.gov.ukOpens a new window [PDF accessed April 2017]

Moon RY. 2016. SIDS and other sleep-related infant deaths: evidence base for 2016 updated recommendations for a safe infant sleeping environment. American Academy of Pediatrics, Task Force on Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, Technical report. Pediatrics 138(5). pediatrics.aappublications.orgOpens a new window [Accessed April 2017]

NHS. 2015a. How can I keep my baby safe during hot weather? NHS Choices, Common Health Questions. www.nhs.ukOpens a new window [Accessed April 2017]

NHS. 2015b. Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). NHS Choices, Health A-Z. www.nhs.ukOpens a new window [Accessed March 2017]

NHS. 2015c. Is my baby too hot? Frimley Health NHS Foundation Trust. www.fhft.nhs.ukOpens a new window [PDF accessed August 2017]

Nottingham Post. 2017. Warning after report of baby's death from 'big bow headband'. www.nottinghampost.comOpens a new window [Accessed April 2017]

Unicef. 2011. Caring for your baby at night. www.unicef.org.ukOpens a new window [Accessed March 2017]

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What should my baby wear at night? (Infographic)

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Making sure your baby isn't too hot or too cold at night can be tricky. Our infographic has everything you need to make sure your baby is comfortable.

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Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University

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Skin-to-skin contact - Baby Friendly Initiative

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Skin-to-skin contact is important for babies and mothers to develop close, loving parent-infant relationships and to initiate breastfeeding.

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Babies emotional and social development

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Kathryn Kelly, NCT antenatal teacher, explains: 'The Fourth Trimester is a way of describing the period after birth when both parents and baby are adjusting to their new lives.

'We think of other trimesters as being three months long, and we can think in terms of roughly another three months after the birth to make the adjustments to being a new family.'

What's the fourth trimester like for babies?

Having been in your warm womb for nine months, your baby has now got to get used to a sensory overload of sights, sounds and smells, as well as a frequently colder environment where they're not constantly supported by your protective amniotic fluid.

Kathryn says: 'Babies have been used to being fed continuously, sleeping when they want to, and being rocked in the cosy embrace of their mum's tummy. When babies are born we introduce gaps between feeds, and put them in a different place to sleep. It's no wonder that they can find this scary, and it's natural that they cry to express their fears.'

Understandably, babies are likely to cry more in this three-month period than any other time in their life. But however logical it might be, it doesn't make this period any easier for new parents. Knowing that other parents are going through the same experience, and thinking of this period as the fourth trimester, might help.

'Parents describe it as a very useful concept, which reminds them that it is OK to find the early days with a baby hard. It is a period of transition, where women become mums, men become dads, and babies adjust to life outside the womb,' Kathryn says.

What can you do to help your baby in the fourth trimester?

Fundamentally, the closer your baby feels to you, the happier they will be. According to Kathryn: 'Anything that mum, dad or other carers can do to replicate the womb-like world will help their baby feel safe. And when we feel safe, we thrive. For your baby, this means holding them close, perhaps in a sling, so they feel the warmth of your body, hear your heartbeat, and are gently rocked as you go about your day (or night).

'Feeding for babies, just like for adults, is about more than just nutrition, it's also social - a way of sharing and being with those we care for. Feeding your baby whenever they they want to will support their emotional development, as well as their physical and intellectual development.

'Your baby will sleep when they're tired, and you will both feel safer if they're close to you. Many parents tell me that in the early days their baby won't sleep in their Moses basket or crib, but only when they're held by a parent. This is perfectly normal and understandable when you think about the baby's point of view. It's important that parents find out about the safer sleep guidelines, and work out a way of sleeping that suits them as a family.'

Can you 'spoil' your baby in the fourth trimester?

No. Despite some people saying that babies need to 'learn' that you won't rush to pick them up every time they cry, in this crucial Fourth Trimester period you can't care for them too much. In fact, the more you look after them when they're upset, the more reassured and confident they'll be.

How might you be feeling?

Even if you're not an international tennis champion, parents who have gone from living busy, independent lives, can find the sudden change to around-the-clock care for a completely dependable infant hard.

Add to that the need to recover from a traumatic or difficult birth, and you can understandably feel like you're the one in need of a little TLC. Kathryn says: 'With the emotional changes in a woman's body, plus the realisation of the enormous responsibility of having a baby, new mums can feel overwhelmed and tearful at times.

'Partners can be dealing with their own response to the birth, their changing identity, and strong feelings about protecting and providing for the family. All of these feelings can also be affected by the way both mum and her partner were parented themselves.'

As with all stages of early parenthood, it's worth remembering that this stage will pass. In what seems no time at all, you might be looking back at the period with fondness at how tiny and attached to you your baby was when they were first born.

However, that is not to downplay how challenging the Fourth Trimester can be for parents. When you're in it, it's all-consuming. You can feel like you don't know what you're doing and you're constantly one step behind.

So, what should I do?

If you think in terms of the first three months of your baby's life being a Fourth Trimester, it can be easier to take the pressure off getting back to 'normal'. You wouldn't have been trying to rush around tidying the house and welcoming endless visitors when you were heavily pregnant, so don't put pressure on yourself to do it now.

'When women are discharged from healthcare some people might think that means they should be able to return to normal life, but there is a long period of adjustment and care needed at home,' says Kathryn. 'Friends and family can support new parents with food, help around the house, and reassurance that they are doing a great job of looking after their baby.'

This is especially important for mums who are raising their baby alone, in which case asking for help from friends and family in advance can help ensure you get the support you need.

Kathryn adds: 'Having very modest aims in the early days - getting outside most days (perhaps a short walk around the block), eating well, resting as much as possible - will change over time to meeting up with friends regularly, getting some exercise every day, and doing the most necessary housework.'

When will the crying settle down?

'As babies grow and change, things that seemed easy one day might feel very difficult another,' Kathryn says. 'A baby's crying tends to peak at around week six, which can mean that parents feel they must be doing something wrong, or that there is a problem with their baby. However, this is normal, and has usually reduced by three months.

'Parents report the excitement and happiness that comes when they see their baby is starting to interact with them, including smiling for the first time.'

Where can I get more help?

'Part of the challenge of this early period is the feeling that there is so much to learn, and to worry about,' explains Kathryn. 'Using safe sources when looking for information about caring for yourself or your baby will reduce anxiety.

'Reputable sources such as NCT practitioners and the website, or NHS health professionals and are a good place to start. Avoid sources of information (including people or media) who make you feel bad about your parenting, and stick with people who you trust and who support you.

'Although things can feel like they're getting harder in the early weeks, most people are feeling much better by around three months after the birth, and some will feel fine before that. If parents are still finding life a real struggle at that point they might consider talking to a health professional, or seeking more support from friends and family, to help them until they are feeling more in control.'

Further information

Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700.

Make friends with other parents-to-be and new parents in your local area for support and friendship by seeing what NCT activities are happening nearby. To find out when an NCT nearly new sale is happening near you, search here.

You might find attending one of NCT's New Baby groups helpful as they give you the opportunity to explore different approaches to important parenting issues with a qualified group leader and other new parents in your area.

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What is the fourth trimester? | Baby & toddler articles & support | NCT

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Everyone knows that pregnancies last three trimesters - so what exactly is the Fourth Trimester? We explain what this crucial stage is, and what it means for you and baby

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How pregnancy, birth and childcare affect fathers

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Dr Oscar Duke discovers how pregnancy, birth and childcare affect the father, bringing about profound physiological and hormonal changes

Whilst most men become fathers, and men make up roughly half the parental population, the vast majority of scientific research has focused on the mother.

But studies have started to reveal the impact of fatherhood on both dads themselves and on their children. We're seeing how fathers play a crucial role in children's behaviour, happiness, and even cognitive skills.

Oscar Duke, a doctor, new dad and author of How To Be A Dad, discovers how pregnancy, birth and childcare affect the father, bringing about profound physiological and hormonal changes. Only 5% of mammal fathers invest in their offspring, and human males have evolved to undergo key changes when their children are born.

Involved fathers can expect their levels of the 'love hormone' oxytocin to rise, nature's way of helping parents bond with their children. At birth, a dad's testosterone levels dramatically fall, increasing affection and responsiveness, and discouraging polygamy.

With more fathers taking on a hands-on role in bringing up their children, how can these new discoveries about the science of dad help support them, and inform social and healthcare policies?

Presented by Dr Oscar Duke and produced by Melanie Brown and Cathy Edwards

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Dr Oscar Duke discovers how pregnancy, birth and childcare affect the father

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Taking the time to learn about the different types of child car seats, and the law, safety and comfort issues around them is crucial. This guide to child car seats covers the basics and helps to clarify what you need to know.

What does UK child car seat safety law say?

The UK law states that in any car, van or goods vehicle:

Children must use a child car seat from birth until they are 12 years old or 135 cm tall, whichever comes first.

Children over 12 years old or more than 135 cm tall must wear a seat belt.

(Gov.UK, 2018; Which?, 2018)

The first thing to remember is that if you are the driver of a car, you are responsible for the safety of all passengers in your car (The AA, 2018).

It is also your responsibility to check seat belt wearing and restraint use by children under 14 years old, including the correct and safe fitting of baby and child car seats and booster seats. This is for the safety of everyone in the car. You can be fined if you fail to meet the legal requirements. Child car seats are designed to protect children's vulnerable bodies to help prevent injury in case of a car accident (Gov.UK, 2018).

What are the basics of child car seat safety?

It is vital that:

Babies and infants should be carried in rear-facing baby car seats for as long as they fit correctly into them. This reduces the risk of death or injury in a crash by 90% compared with being unrestrained.

You use the correct car seat for your baby or child's height and weight - different types or classes of car seat are available for newborns, toddlers and older children.

The child car seat must be installed and fitted correctly in the car.

Some child car seats can be adjusted to grow with your baby but you'll need to read the safety instructions and make the correct adjustments as they grow.

The car seat fastenings must be adjusted correctly to fit your baby or child each time you travel.

Remember to take off coats or bulky clothing before putting your child in their car seat, to ensure fastenings fit snugly.

(NHS, 2016; RoSPA, 2018a; Gov.UK, 2018; Which?, 2018)

Do we need a car seat to bring our baby home after they're born?

If your baby is born in a hospital or birth centre and you are travelling home by car, you will need a car seat to drive your newborn baby home safely. It's a good idea to practise fitting the car seat and adjusting the straps a few times before your baby is born. That way you are familiar with how it all works (NHS, 2016).

Are there any exceptions to when a child car seat must be worn?

There are very few exceptions to when a child under the age of three years can travel without a child car seat (Gov.UK, 2018). See the Gov.UK website for a full list of exceptions.

Why do we need a rear-facing car seat for our baby?

Research has shown that rear-facing car seats provide greater protection for your baby's head, neck and spine than forward-facing seats. So it's best to keep your newborn baby in a rear-facing car seat for as long as possible (Good Egg Safety, 2017; Which?, 2018).

What are i-Size car seats?

i-Size seats are height-based child car seats. They are made in line with new European car seat regulation, R129 (Gov.UK, 2018). Child car seats that conform to the old regulation (R44) are still being sold and will still be valid for a while (Gov.UK, 2017; RoSPA, 2018b).

i-Size car seats are designed to keep children rear-facing for longer, provide better side impact protection and make car seats easier to fit correctly. If you are using an i-size seat, your baby should be kept rear-facing until they're at least 15 months old (Good Egg Safety, 2017; RoSPA, 2018b).

What child car seat requirements should I look for?

Some of the requirements are that the seat:

conforms to the UN standard, ECE Regulation 44.04 (or R 44.03) or to the new EU-approved i-size regulation, R129. These have a label showing a capital 'E' in a circle and 'R129'

is suitable for your child's weight, height and size

is correctly fitted according to the manufacturer's instructions.

(RoSPA, 2018b)

What different types of child car seats are there?

There are three categories of children's car seats:

Rear-facing seats, which are suitable from when your baby's a newborn and for as long as possible to offer greater protection.

Forward-facing seats, which contain a harness or impact cushion.

Booster seats for older children, which can have either a high back or can be backless.

(RoSPA, 2018c)

You'll find three different types of child car seats. They correspond broadly to different age groups and most importantly depend on the weight or height of the child (RoSPA, 2018c).

Choosing types of child car seats

Rear-facing baby seat

0-10 kg (Group 0 - lateral rear-facing carrier)

Birth to 6-9 months

0-13 kg (Group 0+ - rear-facing carrier)

Birth to 12-15 months

i-size (Not in group 0-3 as i-size based on height not weight)

Birth to 105 cm

Up to at least 15 months

Some seats birth to 4 years

Combination seat (rear and forward-facing)

0-18 kg (Group 0+, 1, or 2 - rear-facing carrier, rear- or forward-facing baby seat, or rear- or forward-facing child car seat)

Birth to 4 years

Birth to 25 kg (Group 0+ or 1 - rear-facing baby seat or rear- or forward-facing child car seat with a seat belt)

Birth to 6 years

Forward-facing car seat

9-18 kg (Group 1 - rear- or forward-facing baby seat)

9-36 kg (Group 1, 2, or 3 - rear- or forward-facing baby seat or rear- or forward-facing child car seat with a seat belt)

9 months to 4 years

Adapted from RoSPA, 2018c and Gov.UK, 2018
What did the changes to the law about booster cushions say?

New regulations came into force in February 2017 about the sale and use of booster car seats and cushions. The regulations restrict manufacturers from introducing new models of backless car booster seats or booster cushions for children shorter than 125 cm and weighing less than 22 kg (Which?, 2017).

This change doesn't affect existing models of booster cushions, which are classed as a group 2/3 seat and can be used for children weighing 15 kg and above. The change to the technical standards means that the range of products available on the market in future are better suited for younger children (Which?, 2017).
This page was last reviewed in May 2018.
Further information

Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700.

Make friends with other parents-to-be and new parents in your local area for support and friendship by seeing what NCT activities are happening nearby.

Further information is available from the Royal Society for Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) or call RoSPA's free life line 0808 801 0822.

Find out more about UK car seat law.

NHS Choices has more information about child car seat safety

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Taking the time to learn about the different types of child car seats, and the law, safety and comfort issues around them is crucial. This guide to child car seats covers the basics and helps to clarify what you need to know.

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Infant milks for parents & carers — First Steps Nutrition Trust

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First Steps Nutrition Trust is a charity which provides clear, evidence-based and independent information and support for good nutrition from pre-conception to five years of age.

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Video on how babies sleep

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Typical day

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Life with a Newborn: Why It’s so Hard to Take a Shower Video

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This website presents research evidence about biologically normal sleep for human babies. We discuss how infant sleep may vary due to cultural behaviours and expectations such as what babies are fed, where they sleep, and how we interpret their needs.

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Nappy changing isn't always fun, but someone has to do it - and this video shows how. Get step-by-step nappy changing instructions, especially for dads.

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One of the joys of becoming a parent is being allowed to act like a kid again. You've got the perfect reason to blow raspberries, dance like no-one's watching, and perfect your hide and seek skills.

That's right. Playing is the most effective way for children to learn. It's a brilliant way to give them the skills they'll need as they grow up. Through playing, children and babies have an opportunity to have new experiences safely. They get to try different things, begin to solve problems and strengthen their relationship with you.

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Games and play for development: 0-6 months - NCT Matters

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One of the joys of becoming a parent is being allowed to act like a kid again. You've got the perfect reason to blow raspberries, dance like no-one's watching, and perfect your hide and seek skills. That's right. Playing is the most effective way for children to learn.

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Coping in the early days with a newborn baby

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Coping in the early days with a newborn baby

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NCT video

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Responsive feeding

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A Guide to Safe Responsive Bottle Feeding | Hertfordshire Community NHS Trust

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Hertfordshire Community NHS Trust, HCT, Hertfordshire, HCT NHS Trust

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Guidelines

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The safest cot is a clear cot

The safest cot for a baby is a clear cot. That means removing anything that isn't essential. Babies need just two items in their cot:

It's important to remove anything that isn't essential because items such as toys, blankets and bumpers could cover their face and obstruct their breathing.

When preparing your baby's sleep space, remember:

No pillows or duvets

No cot bumpers

No soft toys or comforters

No weighted or bulky bedding

No products designed to keep your baby in one sleeping position, such as wedges or straps

No pods or nests, rolled up towels or anything soft placed on top of the mattress.

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Safer sleep overview - The Lullaby Trust

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An easy guide to practicing safer sleep for your baby and reducing the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS, or cot death).

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Sleep safety and normal patterns

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Coping with a crying baby

All babies cry and sometimes it can be hard to cope with. Crying is the only way your baby can tell you what they need. Giving your baby lots of love and attention will help you get close to your baby and they will learn that the world is safe, and will feel secure.

When your baby cries they are trying to tell you something. It may be hard to work out what your baby needs. With time, you'll get to know your baby, and what their different cries mean.

As your baby grows they'll learn other ways of communicating with you. For example, they'll get better at eye contact, making noises and smiling.

Your baby may cry when they are:

Hungry - your baby may need to feed more often than you thought. If it has been an hour since the last feed your baby may be hungry.

Lonely - your baby needs lots of cuddles and touch. They feel safe when they can see your face, hear your voice, smell you and feel your touch. Crying is their way of asking to be held.

Wet or dirty - check to see if their nappy is wet or dirty.

Tired - your baby may be tired but having trouble nodding off. Try gentle rocking in a dimly lit room.

Too hot or too cold - newborn babies like to be kept warm, but not too warm. Generally you can dress your baby with one more layer than you have on.

Uncomfortable - your baby may feel uncomfortable because of something scratchy like clothing tags or a zip.

Overstimulated - your baby may have got too excited, especially if there have been lots of visitors or things going on. Try rocking your baby gently in a dimly lit room.

Unwell or have a fever - if they have a high temperature, they may have an illness. If you think there's something wrong ring NHS Direct Wales (External link) for advice. You can call them on 0845 46 47.

Try to respond to your baby when they cry. They will learn that the world is safe, and will feel secure. A research study found that parents who responded to their crying baby, cried less than babies who were left to 'cry it out'.

Tips to soothe your baby

If you're breastfeeding, let your baby suckle at your breast.

If you're bottle feeding, consider offering your baby a dummy. Sterilise dummies as you do with bottles. Don't dip them in anything sweet and try to limit their use. There are some tips on using dummies on the Talking Point website (External link).

Try stroking your baby's back rhythmically.

Hold your baby close, smile at them, talk and sing. Hold your baby where they will be able to see you easily.

Give your baby a warm bath or try going for a walk or drive.

Wrap your baby in a blanket and rock them gently.

Use soothing sounds, like 'white noise' (the noise a hairdryer or vacuum cleaner makes). Some babies are soothed by this type of background noise, which are available to download on free Apps.

Whisper to your baby or say "shh, shh, shh".

Cuddle your baby close so they can smell you - this will make them feel safe.

Gently tickle or stroke their face.

Sing or hum to your baby. Your baby will be soothed by your voice.

Skin to skin contact like baby massage can soothe your baby and you may find it relaxing, too! Your local Family Information Service will have information about classes in your area. You can contact them by telephone on 0300 123 7777.

Every baby is different. You might need to try several things before you find one that works for your baby.

Never shake your baby. This can damage their brain. Always support your baby's neck and head whenever you lift them or lay them down.

If it is getting too much for you, put your baby in a safe place and leave the room for a bit until you feel calmer. Or ask a friend or family member to care for your baby for a while so you can have time to yourself. You may also find it helpful to contact the Cry-sis (External link) (English language) helpline on 08451 228 669 (lines are open 9am to 10pm, 7 days a week).

If you are worried about your baby's crying, ask your health visitor or GP for advice. It might help to keep a record of how often and when your baby cries. Do they cry after every feed or during the evening? This can help your GP or health visitor work out if there is a particular reason for the crying.

Some babies cry more than others. Over time your baby will become more settled. If you are worried about your baby's crying, ask your health visitor for advice.

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All babies cry and sometimes it can be hard to cope with. Crying is the only way your baby can tell you what they need. Giving your baby lots of love and attention will help you get close to your baby and they will learn that the world is safe, and will feel secure.

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Understanding how a baby may be feeling

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Parenting.Give it time. | Coping with a crying baby

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All babies cry and sometimes it can be hard to cope with. Crying is the only way your baby can tell you what they need. Giving your baby lots of love and attention will help you get close to your baby and they will learn that the world is safe, and will feel secure.

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Find out which vaccinations are offered on the NHS, what age you should ideally have them, and why they are safe and important.

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Language development

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Few sounds penetrate our ears in quite the way the sound of crying baby does! Just spend a little time on a flight near a bawling newborn or screeching toddler to feel the levels of tension and panic rise for all nearby.

As a mother, you are preprogrammed to respond physically to your baby's cry. You may find that your blood pressure rises, milk letdown can be induced and your heart beats a little faster when you hear your baby cry.

New parents are relatively unprepared for the amount babies cry and the feelings it will induce. It may amaze you to know that on average young babies (under four months old) cry for three hours a day! That is an enormous amount of crying a parent has to contend with. But stats mean nothing until you are face with a fussing baby!

In the stressed moment of dealing with your crying baby, you need a simple 3 step approach to stop the crying.

Step #1 Try to figure out what is upsetting your baby by process of elimination establish whether your baby:

Is hungry

Needs to burp

Is uncomfortable

Has a wet nappy

Is in uncomfortable clothing

Is too hot or too cold

Is sick

Is running a fever

Is in pain

If you have ruled out these obvious causes of fussing and your baby is still not the happiest kid on the block, you need to move onto step two to calm your baby.

Step #2 Try Soothing Sensory Strategies

1. Sensory awareness Be sensitive to your baby's sensory world and his sensory load. When your newborn starts fussing, take notice of the smells and sights he is being subjected to.

Longer than 10 minutes under a mobile which your baby can't escape can be enough to over stimulate a newborn.

Don't wear overwhelming smells such as perfume or after shave in the early days

Watch the sounds in the environment - your baby is sensitive to loud or unpredictable sounds

Watch your baby's world for too much stimulation. As the first year progresses, your baby will cope better with stimulation and it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking more stimulation is better. If your baby shows the following signs he may have had enough and need to be removed from the stimulus or have the stimulus removed from him:

To prevent toddler melt down, watch the social situation you subject your toddler to carefully. Toddlers have a tough time socializing with each other because toddlers are unpredictable group. They fall on each other, touch each other with sticky hands and may for no reason bite or bang each other.

As a rule of thumb limit social situations, such as an outing or a party to 1 hour per year of your toddler's life. For example a one year old may only cope for one hour, a three year old for three hours.

Make sure your toddler is well rested before birthday parties. Keep parties small and manageable

2. Sleep times An overtired baby of any age will battle with over stimulation and become fussy. To prevent colic, crying and chaos watch your baby's 'awake times'. (See Baby Sense for details for age appropriate awake times.)

The newborn (0-12 weeks) can only be awake for very short times: 40 minutes for the first few weeks, stretching to 90 minutes by three months old. From three months onwards, your baby will start to develop a nice day sleep routine of their own. Encourage this routine as it will prevent crying due to over stimulation.

Toddlers still need day sleeps and you need to ensure that your toddler has one good midday sleep if you want to avoid chaos!

3. Self calming At birth most babies' self calming strategies are largely underdeveloped. One of the first tasks of the first three months becomes to develop self calming strategies. What do self calming strategies look like?

Hands to mouth

Looking away

Looking at mom

Grabbing security toy

Sucking pacifier or hand

Bringing hands to midline

Give your baby space to develop self calming strategies by not popping his pacifier or your breast into his mouth just to calm him. Obviously if your baby is crying so much that he is unable to self calm, particularly newborns, you will need to help him find something to suck as sucking is a wonderful strategy for calming.

Recognize self calming for what it is, don't think that when your three month old is sucking his hands vigorously he is teething; he is probably self calming to cope with all the stimulation of the world. Teach your baby self calming strategies by wrapping him with his hands near his face when you swaddle him or holding his hands to his mouth.

4. Soothing touch Swaddling for the newborn and deep pressure as your baby gets older work well. We all know how good and calming a hug feels or how tranquil we feel after a deep massage. That deep touch is exactly what babies need. Swaddling is the best way to mimic the soothing pressure of the tight womb walls, to keep your newborn calm.

As your baby gets older he may not like to be swaddled as tightly and may push his arms out. For sleep times you can continue to swaddle under the arms. Massage is wonderful for this age as they will lie still and benefit in many ways from the touch.

For toddlers and even through to the teen years, nothing works as well as a big hug from mommy. When your toddler is feeling chaotic and about to throw a temper tantrum, give him a containing hug before the melt down begins.

5. Soothing movement Movement like the lulling movement of the womb world is calming for babies. For the newborn use a sling to carry your baby as your baby will be well supported and feel calmed by the deep pressure and calming rocking motion.

If your older baby has a typically cranky time of day or is over stimulated, a good walk in a pouch, sling or pram works well.

For toddlers a ride in a swing is a wonderful way to calm the chaos, especially at the end of the day when a late afternoon nap is out of the question.

6. Sounds Soothing sounds are an excellent way to calm a cranky baby and toddler. The newborn responds amazingly to the familiar sound of the womb. White noise, such as intrauterine sounds and ambient world sounds, masks the noise of the world and thus calms fractious babies. In recent research on the effect of white noise it was found that playing white noise at a volume similar to a babies' cry decreased time spent crying by 30%.

Older babies and toddlers love the sound of your voice and lullabies work wonderfully. Tapes with songs of children's voice are also useful.

7. Slow down Sometimes in the panic of trying to calm a crying baby, we tend to try too many solutions at once. All the added stimuli are enough to make matters worse if your baby is already over stimulated. In addition to this you become flustered and at the end of the day don't know what actually made the difference. Slow down and try one of the above mentioned strategies for 5 minutes before moving onto the next one.

Step #3 Take care of yourself Caring for a colicky newborn, crying baby or chaotic toddler can take its toll on you. If you feel you are unable to go on or are not coping with the crying it is vital for your sake and that of your baby that you seek support. The two major risks of burning out are postnatal depression and shaken baby syndrome. Both are equally serious and have potentially long term devastating effects for your baby.

If you have had enough of the crying and no strategies are working: Put your baby down and leave him safely in his room for a short period while you gather yourself together with deep breaths

Call for the support of your mom, husband or an au pair for a few hours each week to give you time out

Make sure you sleep when your baby does as sleep deprivation adds to the feelings of desperation.

As tough as the early days of crying are, they do pass but when your baby fusses, you will find the three step strategy works well. Look for the reason for the fussing by going through the process of elimination, use sensory soothing strategies and take care of yourself.

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Calming tricks that will change your baby's life

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Few sounds penetrate our ears in quite the way the sound of crying baby does! Just spend a little time on a flight near a bawling newborn or screeching toddler to feel the levels of tension and panic rise for all nearby. As a mother, you are preprogrammed to respond physically to your baby's cry.

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All babies cry-and that's a good thing. How else would we know if our helpless infants were cold, hungry, lonely or in pain? Traditionally, moms and dads have just been encouraged to keep their chins up and wait until the baby grows out of it. But, that's easier said than done!

Crying Takes a Toll on Babies AND Parents

Typically, babies get increasingly irritable around sundown and can continue for hours. No wonder, parents get concerned, frustrated and very, very tired.

Exhaustion triggered by persistent crying creates huge stress in families, including marital conflict, maternal and paternal depression and obesity. It causes car crashes and other accidents-people make all kinds of poor decisions when stressed and overtired. It also puts babies in danger when a wiped-out parent falls asleep with a baby in his arms, on an unsafe couch or a bed, which increases the risks for SIDS and infant suffocation. And believe it or not, the national costs of complications of infant crying and parental exhaustion total well over $1 billion dollars a year!

My 'Aha!' Moment on Calming Babies

Most doctors say that colic (crying for more than 3 hours a day) is a mystery. That's what I used to say, too, until 1981 when I learned about the!Kung Sanof the Kalahari Desert, whose mothers usually calm their fussy babies in under a minute! The more I thought about it, the more I realized we could be as successful as !Kung parents, but only if we adopt 2 new ideas:

1. All babies are born 3 months early. Newborn horses can run within an hour of birth but not our mushy little babies. A virtual 4th trimester of womb sensations (soft touch, jiggly motion, snug holding, etc.) may just be what they need.

2. The rhythms experienced inside the womb trigger a reflex that keeps babies relaxed. This calming reflex is a virtual off-switch for crying and on-switch for sleep.

The !Kung mothers are master baby calmers because they imitate the womb by carrying and rocking their babies 24/7...and feeding them 3 times hour. American parents have long turned to similar womb-mimicking tricks, whether they've realized it or not, like going for car rides and turning on the vacuum cleaner to soothe their babies. In fact, smart parents around the world have invented all kinds of variations on the calming womb-like sensations I've dubbed the 5 S's: Swaddle, Side-Stomach Position, Shush, Swing and Suck.

The basics of the 5 S's method are below, but complete guidance can be found in my Happiest Baby on the Block book and companion DVD/ Streaming Video.

The 1st S: Swaddle

Swaddling recreates the snug packaging inside the womb and is the cornerstone of calming. It decreases startling and increases sleep. And, wrapped babies respond faster to the other 4 S's and stay soothed longer because their arms can't wriggle around. To swaddle correctly, wrap arms snug-straight at the side-but let the hips be loose and flexed. Use a large square blanket, but don't overheat, cover your baby's head or allow unraveling. Note: Babies shouldn't be swaddled all day, just during fussing and sleep.

The 2nd S: Side or Stomach Position

The back is the only safe position for sleeping, but it's the worst position for calming fussiness. This S can be activated by holding a baby on her side, on her stomach or over your shoulder. You'll see your baby mellow in no time.

The 3rd S: Shush

Contrary to myth, babies don't need total silence to sleep. In the womb, the sound of the blood flow is a shush louder than a vacuum cleaner! But, not all white noise is created equal. Hissy fans and ocean sounds often fail because they lack the womb's rumbly quality. The best way to imitate these magic sounds is white noise. Happiest Baby's CD/ Mp3 has 6 specially engineered sounds to calm crying and boost sleep.

The 4th S: Swing

Life in the womb is very jiggly. (Imagine your baby bopping around inside your belly when you jaunt down the stairs!) While slow rocking is fine for keeping quiet babies calm, you need to use fast, tiny motions to soothe a crying infant mid-squawk. My patients call this movement the " Jell-O head jiggle." To do it, always support the head/neck, keep your motions small; and move no more than 1 inch back and forth. I really advise watching the DVD to make sure you get it right. (For the safety of your infant, never, ever shake your baby in anger or frustration.)

The 5th S: Suck

Sucking is "the icing on the cake" of calming. Many fussy babies relax into a deep tranquility when they suck. Many babies calm easier with a pacifier.

The 5 S's Take PRACTICE to Perfect

The 5 S's technique only works when done exactly right. The calming reflex is just like the knee reflex: Hit one inch too high or low, and you'll get no response, but hit the knee exactly right and, presto! If your little one doesn't soothe with the S's, watch the Happiest Baby DVD/ Streaming Video again to get it down pat. Or, check with your doctor to make sure illness isn't preventing calming.

How Do the 5 S's Relate to Another Favorite S - Sleep?

The keys to good sleep are swaddling and white noise. In another "Aha!" moment, I realized technology could assist parents with their 4th-trimester duties. So Happiest Baby invented SNOO, the world's 1st smart sleeper-an innovative baby bed based on the 5 S's that helps calm babies and ease them into sleep. Parents especially love when it quickly calms babies for those 2 a.m. wakings!

By Dr. Harvey Karp | 8 Comments

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All babies cry-and that's a good thing. How else would we know if our helpless infants were cold, hungry, lonely or in pain? Traditionally, moms and dads have just been encouraged to keep their chins up and wait until the baby grows out of it. But, that's easier said than done!

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Kingston Hospital | Home (Maternity) | You and Your Baby | Infant Feeding | Breastfeeding

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Home Your Pregnancy Giving Birth You and Your Baby About the unit Working with us Useful Information Find Us

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How to recognise warning or red flag signs of serious illness in children under 5, such as cold hands and feet, rapid breathing, or mottled skin. Plus, advice on when to call an ambulance or take your child to A&E.

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Having a baby is one of those pivotal moments in your life - all of a sudden your world spins on its axis and you see everything in a new light.

You may find that your priorities shift and that previously important things suddenly drop down your to do list, making way for the demands of motherhood and family life.

Having a baby will change your life forever; this is true whether it's your first or fifth baby.

And that monumental shift takes time to get used to, so it's important to allow yourself time to adjust.

Each new baby brings new responsibilities, fresh challenges and more demands on your time. After birth, you will need time to heal and rest. You and your baby need time to get to know one another and bond without distraction.

Many women feel a pressure to have it all and be everything to everyone, and these pressures don't simply disappear when you have a baby. Some women feel so concerned about losing their strong business reputation that they take work into the delivery room with them. Other women feel pressure to keep their homes beautiful, and so skip much-needed naps in favour of cleaning. Other women feel it is important for their bodies to shrink back as soon as possible, and so immediately start dieting and working out as soon as they can walk again, rather than resting.

Wouldn't it be great if we lived in a world where new mothers were encouraged to slow down, instead of being reminded about how quickly celebrities shift their baby weight? Where new mothers were complimented for how great they were at meeting their babies' needs, instead of the focus being on how they look?

In East Asia, a number of cultures encourage new mothers to rest for a full month. In India and Greece, this hibernation period is extended to 40 days. These cultures place great importance on this time by encouraging and supporting mothers to heal from birth and ease into new motherhood. Family members gather round to help out around the home, cook meals, clean and help with baby while mum takes necessary breaks. This hibernation period is a great way of nurturing new mothers as well as newborn babies. It may seem like an impossible feat, but you can carve out a chunk of time to spend bonding with your baby.

Why You Should Hibernate After Having A Baby

There are plenty of reasons why you should take some time after having a baby, including:

#1: You Need Rest

No matter how smooth-going your pregnancy was, how perfect your birth was, or how great your baby sleeps, you will still need rest. Even the easiest pregnancies contain their fair share of sleepless nights and aches and pains. And no matter how 'to plan' your birth went, your body still achieved something monumental and now needs the time to recover.

Giving birth and becoming a mother are not small everyday tasks, so there's no need to rush back to your everyday routine. Having a baby is a big deal and should be treated as such. Forcing yourself to carry on as normal the very next day could actually slow down how long it takes you to recover. It's not just your body that needs time to heal - having a baby is a peak emotional and psychological experience, too.

#2: You Need To Bond With Your Baby

For these few precious weeks, it really doesn't matter when you last hoovered your stairs, or how recently you washed your hair. What matters is that you and your new baby have the time to bond. This is the start of a lifelong love, so give yourself the chance to get to know your baby in the beginning. Remove distractions, slow down and spend some time soaking up your baby.

#3: You Deserve It

Growing a baby is hard work! It could be argued that giving birth is even more work. After all of that, you deserve a break. You were amazing during labour and birth, and now it's your opportunity to reap the rewards. So snuggle up on the sofa with your baby in your arms and don't move until you want to or really have to.

Being a mother isn't an easy job. It is physically demanding, can be emotionally draining and allows for very little sleep. Giving yourself this time to rest in the beginning will help you to replenish your own resources so you can be the best mother you can be.

#4: You Can

What better reason to take a break than because you can? The beauty of new motherhood is that you don't need an excuse to fob off the world. Nobody is going to judge you for spending all day every day in your pyjamas, so make the most of this period in your life.

How To Hibernate After Having A Baby

Ok, now that you're convinced about the importance of hibernation with your new baby, you just need to know how to go about it. Here are a few pointers to help you shut out the world and focus on your beautiful new family:

Fill up your freezer in advance - there's no need to eat for two during pregnancy, but you should be cooking to feed the five thousand. By the time the baby arrives, you should be struggling to close your freezer thanks to all the home-cooked meals in there. When the baby arrives, all you'll need to do is spend a couple of minutes with the microwave and you'll be able to have a nutritious and delicious meal. You won't need to slave away in the kitchen or spend hours at the supermarket, and will instead be able to spend that time with your baby.

Stock up on non-perishables - having to pop to the supermarket isn't really in-keeping with hibernation, so make sure your cupboards are stocked with all of the essentials. If you do run out of something, ask a guest to pick it up on the way over and save you a trip.

Accept help - friends and family want to help when you have a new baby, especially those who remember how exhausting those first few weeks are. Accept all offers of help, it may not feel natural but it will free up so much time for you to spend with your baby. Let people do you washing up, pick up your shopping, and take your older kids out for the day.

Get your partner on board - your partner can help you in two very important ways. Firstly, he can join you in the hibernation and enjoy spending his free time bonding with the new baby too. While he may have to return to work sooner than he might like, he can create a shorter period of hibernation for you all to enjoy as a family. And secondly, by understanding the importance of you doing nothing during this time, he can help out by not creating jobs for you to do around the home and play a role in carrying the load to support your rest and recovery.

Find company - hibernating doesn't mean you have to hide from friends and family. Invite your loved ones round to visit you and the baby. This can help you to feel connected to the outside world, whilst allowing you to enjoy your break from it.

...

Another important reason to hibernate is to minimise the chances your newborn baby will be exposed to whooping cough (currently in an outbreak year) and other germs. Babies have immature immune systems, and even if they are vaccinated, it can take time to provide any immunity. Find out more here.

PREGNANT and in MELBOURNE on April 7th? JOIN US at the BellyBelly Birth & Early Parenting Immersion. MAXIMISE your chances of getting the birth you want... MINIMISE your chances of a disappointing or traumatic birth experience. Come and hear from some of Australia's best educators.

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4 Reasons Why You Should Hibernate After Birth | BellyBelly

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Having a baby is one of those pivotal moments in your life - all of a sudden your world spins on its axis and you see everything in a new light. You may find that your priorities shift and that previously important things suddenly drop down your to do list, making way for the demands of motherhood and family life.

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Your baby is born ready to communicate with you. His movements may look random, but he'll try to tell you what he needs, and reveal his likes and dislikes through his behaviour (CCF 2016, Lester and Sparrow 2011).

Your baby is learning about you too! He's watching your movements and facial expressions, and picking up on the tone of voice you use. It's a two-way learning process.

What are the benefits of understanding my newborn?

Learning to read your newborn's cues can help you both. Here's how:

It helps him relax. If you respond to your baby's signals quickly, he'll feel reassured, soothed and cared for.

It helps you to learn what responses he prefers. By watching your baby you'll get to know his individual preferences, such as whether he prefers slow, gentle rocking or a brisker approach.

It helps your baby build trust in the people looking after him, and he'll find the predictability of his daily routine reassuring and comforting.

It teaches him about emotions. By observing your baby, you'll learn how he shows his emotions. Encourage him by matching your own facial expressions to your feelings, so he can learn to do the same.

It helps you feel more confident as a parent!

(Shroff 2016)

How can I tell what mood my newborn's in?

You can learn a lot about your baby's mood by how he responds to sights, sounds and touch. You'll probably notice that his behaviour falls into one of six different states at any given time:

Deep sleep. Your baby's eyes will be closed and still. His breathing will be regular and he may make the occasional startle.

Light sleep. This is also known as rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. Your baby's eyes will be closed, but they may open briefly. He may move, startle and make the occasional sucking motion.

Drowsy. This is your baby's semi-dozing state. He's not fully asleep, but he's nearly there. His eyes open now and then, and his movements are smooth.

Alert. Your baby's eyes will be open. His attention will be focused and he'll be still.

Active and alert. Your baby will be bright-eyed. He'll move around and may make brief, fussy cries and startles.

Crying. Your baby will cry hard in this state. He may squirm around and be difficult to soothe.

While understanding your newborn may seem overwhelming at first, you'll start to read your baby's signals in no time at all. Watch how he reacts to being undressed, talked to, held and fed. You'll soon start to understand the experiences he enjoys, and those he doesn't (NHS 2016a).
Your baby may turn away, squirm or fuss to show you that he doesn't like something. On the other hand, if something appeals to him, he may show this by looking at it intently, and being still and quiet.

You may notice that your baby can't do some things while in a certain state. For example, he may not feed well if he's tired. Or he may not want to play when he's crying.

You'll soon recognise these patterns and be able to respond to your baby's behaviour. You may learn that you need to rouse your baby a little before a feed. Or that he needs to be in an alert state before he starts playing happily. As you begin to understand your baby's wants and needs, you'll quickly become an expert in understanding and reacting to his mood.

How do I know if my newborn wants something?
Does he want to be fed?
Your baby is likely to make a particular sound or cry when he's hungry, which you'll soon learn to identify. He may also suck on his hands, fingers or fists.

You may notice your baby turning his head strongly to one side while opening his mouth when he wants a feed. This is called rooting.

Does he need to sleep?

Your newborn will probably fuss or cry when he needs to sleep. He may stare with glazed eyes before drifting off. Other signs to look out for include a lack of interest in playing and not responding to you or what's happening around him.

Is he bored or lonely?

While your newborn will be interested in playing with you from birth, he doesn't need constant entertainment. He'll tell you when he's ready to play by becoming calm and alert, and looking at you with wide eyes.

If you notice him trying to find things to look at, this may be a sign that he's feeling bored or lonely. He may make noises as if to call you.

In the first few weeks, the best toy for your baby is your face and voice. Try holding him about a foot away and sticking out your tongue. He may copy you! Give him plenty of time to respond before you change your expression. It may take him a while to work out what to do.

Does he have wind?

If your baby has wind, he may cry, fuss or seem agitated. He may screw up his face as though he's in pain, pull his knees up to his stomach or kick his legs. There are lots of ways you can help ease your baby's wind.

Is a wet or soiled nappy making him uncomfortable?

Your baby may not mind having a wet or soiled nappy, but some babies really don't like it. If this is the case with your baby, he'll probably let you know by crying or being restless. He may also have more subtle ways of telling you, such as becoming red in the face, looking away or losing interest in playing.

Is he too hot or too cold?

You can check your baby's temperature by feeling his tummy or the back of his neck. If it feels hot or clammy then he may be too hot. Other signs that he may be too hot include flushed cheeks, damp hair and rapid breathing.

Don't feel your baby's hands or feet to work out if he is warm enough; it is normal for them to feel cool. However, if they feel cold, you could add mittens, socks, or booties. Babies can lose a lot of heat through their heads, so always put a hat on your baby when going outside in winter.

Your baby needs to wear enough clothes to feel warm, but not hot. Dress him in layers. If he becomes too hot you can remove a layer. If he is too cold, simply add one.

Is he overstimulated?

Some babies are easily overwhelmed, and can only cope with short bursts of play. Your baby may show you he's had enough stimulation by yawning or looking away. He may seem drowsy or start to fuss, cry, or push you away (NCT nd).

While your baby was born with the ability to self-soothe, he may still find it hard to settle down when he's overwhelmed. When he was curled up in your womb, he probably found it easy to suck his hands or fingers and soothe himself to sleep. But after he's born it may not be as easy for him to reach them!

Watch your baby's movements and see if he's trying to put his fist, hand or fingers near or into his mouth. This will let you know he'd like to be soothed. Try holding him calmly in your arms or over your shoulder. Or put him down in a quiet place with your hand resting gently on his belly.

You'll learn if he likes to lie in a particular way, or if it helps him to look at something. Once you know what works for him, you can help him to develop his natural self-soothing techniques.

How can I tell what sort of personality my newborn will have?

All babies have their own characteristics. You'll soon be able to tell if your baby has a personality like yours, your partner's or perhaps another relative. He may even develop a personality that's completely unique to him!

You may find that your baby is relaxed about being handled, and copes well with change. He may manage to self-soothe, not be troubled much by wind, and seem to take things as they come.

On the other hand, your baby may fuss and cry a lot, startle easily, and find being handled rather overwhelming. In this case, he'll benefit from a calm, gentle approach, and not too much stimulation at any one time.

Try not to worry if you expected your baby to have a certain personality, but he seems to be the opposite. You'll soon learn to understand each other and what sort of approach he enjoys most.

My baby never seems to stop crying. What should I do?

If you find it difficult to hear your baby cry, you aren't alone. Most parents find it hard. But crying is simply one of your baby's many ways of communicating (CCF 2016). Responding to your baby is the best way to help him relax.

Babies tend to cry more between the ages of three weeks and 12 weeks, usually in the late afternoon or early evening. While this is a normal, developmental phase, it's only natural to worry about this end-of-day crying. But try to see it as a period of letting off steam.

You may find that a good approach is to run through the following basics just once, then pause. So, change your baby's nappy, give him a cuddle and burp him, and check that he's not hungry or in pain. Then put him down for about five minutes. You can attend to him if he's still fussing, but put him down again afterwards. Bear in mind this pattern may go on for quite a while, but some parents find it helpful to follow this routine.

If your baby cries for more than three hours a day, three days a week for three weeks, (Turner 2017) it's known as persistent crying. It's often referred to as colic and it can be very stressful for you and your partner (NHS 2016b).

Take your baby to see your doctor and he will check that nothing more serious is causing his crying. If he rules out a treatable cause for your baby's crying, you're back to coping with the colic however you can. Although this can be hard, there are plenty of tips to try out:

Offer your baby a dummy. He may be soothed by sucking. Some babies use their fingers or a thumb to suck on instead.

Play white noise to him. Repetitive noise may recreate the whooshing sounds in your womb. The sound of a vacuum cleaner, your hair dryer, a ticking clock or a white-noise app may work.

Take him for a drive in the car or a walk in a pram. The vibrations from the road or pavement helps to soothe some babies.

Massage his tummy gently with clockwise movements to help move along trapped wind and poo.

It can be hard to keep calm when your baby cries. You may find it helpful to get support from friends or family, if possible (CCF 2016). But reminding yourself that your newborn's behaviour is normal may help you feel less anxious. This phase will pass: Colic usually eases off by about nine weeks (Wolke et al 2017). In the meantime, read our tips on how to relax and stay sane.
Your baby's first three months are known as the fourth trimester. It's a special time of change and development for your baby, as he adapts to the world outside your womb. Find out more about your baby and the fourth trimester.

Last reviewed: January 2018

References

Brazelton T. Berry, Sparrow JD. 2003. Calming your fussy baby. The Brazelton way. New York: Perseus Publishing

CCF. 2016. Newborn behavior. The Cleveland Clinic Foundation. my.clevelandclinic.org [accessed April 2018]

Lester BM, Sparrow JD (eds). 2011. Nuturing children and families. Building on the legacy of T. Berry Brazelton. Chichester: Wiley Blackwell.

nct. nd. Communicating with your baby. www.nct.org.uk [accessed April 2018]

NHS Choices. 2016a. Birth to five development timeline. www.nhs.uk [accessed April 2018]

NHS Choices. 2016b. Soothing a crying baby. www.nhs.uk [accessed April 2018]

Shroff A. 2016. Forming a bond with your baby - why it isn't always immediate. www.webmd.com [accessed April 2018]

Turner TL. 2017. Patient education: Colic (excessive crying) in infants (Beyond the Basics). www.uptodate.com [accessed April 2018]

Wolke D, Bilgin A, Samara M. 2017. Systematic review and meta-analysis: fussing and crying durations and prevalence of colic in infants. J Pediatr 185:55-61.e4. www.jpeds.com [Accessed June 2018]

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Your baby is born ready to communicate with you. His movements may look random, but he'll try to tell you what he needs, and reveal his likes and dislikes through his behaviour (CCF 2016, Lester and Sparrow 2011). Your baby is learning about you too!

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Baby | How To Bathe A Newborn Baby | StreamingWell.com

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How long do I wait before bathing my newborn? Click here to find out how and when to bath your newborn baby. http://www.streamingwell.com/how-to-bath-a-newborn-baby-video.html Streaming Well is a healthcare focused, award-winning video production company which operates in the US and Europe.

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You won't need to bath your baby in the early days because you will probably be giving them a top and tail wash. But when you do start to bath your newborn baby, it can be a lovely experience although it may feel stressful at first. Some babies take to baths well and others don't seem to like them.

"Your little one may really enjoy their first bath. But don't worry if they don't like it straight away."

Most babies grow to enjoy bath time as they get more familiar with the experience.

You might find it helpful to watch this video from the NHS about how to bath your baby.

Safety tips for bath time

It's important to keep safety in mind at bath time. Babies and young children should never be left unattended in a bath, not even for a second (NHS, 2021). Here are some bath time tips:

Get everything ready ahead of your baby's bath, so you have everything you need to hand.

Make sure you always use the hot and cold taps at the same time when you run the bath.

Check the bath water temperature first before putting your baby in. The standard way to check is to put your elbow in the water because your hand can cope with high temperatures. The water should feel neither warmer or colder than your elbow.

Don't be distracted away by another child, a phone call or doorbell. What feels like a couple of seconds can turn into a minute or two. Leaving your little one even for a few moments could be enough time for them to seriously hurt themselves or drown.

If you forget anything - ask your partner or another family member to grab it for you. Or take your baby with you to get what you need. (NHS, 2021)

"Never leave your baby alone in the bath, not even for a second (NHS, 2021)."

When should I give my baby a bath?

There is no set age when you should give your baby a bath. Babies get cold quickly, and that's more risky for them than being a bit dirty.

If you're anxious about bathing your little one, you don't need to put them into a bath until you feel confident about it.

You may prefer to just wash your little one's face and bottom to begin with. This is sometimes called 'topping and tailing'.

If you're feeling confident about bathing your baby you can do so when you wish.

Choose a bath time when your little one is content and awake. It's better not to bathe your baby straight after a feed or when they're hungry or tired.

Some babies love bath time to begin with, others don't. You may need to try different ways of bathing your baby and at different times of day, to find out what suits you both. Choose a time of day when your baby is happy and awake (NHS, 2021).

How often can I give my baby a bath?

Your little one won't need a bath every day but if they enjoy it, there's no reason why you can't.

If you'd prefer to top and tail your newborn, you can do this every day or every few days or as needed.

Every baby is different - you will soon find out what works best for you and your little one.

How do I wash my baby?

If you want to top and tail your newborn, you can do this by washing them using cotton wool or a soft cloth and bowls of warm water. Warm tap water is probably fine but if you want to be particularly careful, use cooled boiled water to reduce the chance of infections in the first week or until your baby's cord drops off.

You can wash your newborn in a small baby bath.

If you'd prefer to share a bath with your little one, see below for more details.

It can help to have an extra pair of hands at bath time, if available, until you feel confident about bathing your baby on your own.

You don't need any special products to bathe your baby; only mild, non-perfumed soap can be used where needed. Plain water is best for your baby's skin during in the first month (NHS, 2021).

To find out more about caring for your newborn baby's umbilical cord, see our article on topping and tailing.

Can I take a bath with my baby?

Babies love to lie on a parent's chest in the bath.

Having a bath with your baby can help you both relax and encourage breastfeeding.

Remember, your baby might have a wee or poo while in the bath with you!

Baths are slippery, so it's not a good idea to get into or out of a bath carrying your baby. It's better to bath with your baby when there's someone else to hand them to you and take them from you. This could be your partner, your parent or a friend.

Tips for co-bathing

Get yourself settled and relaxed in the bath. Check the temperature is not too hot with your elbow.

Ask your partner, parent or friend to pass you your baby and lay them on your legs facing you.

Now you can lower as much of them into the water as you and they want by straightening your legs.

You might want to chat or sing to your baby to help soothe them.

Remember that your baby will get cold more quickly than you.

When you want to get out, make sure you pass your baby back to your helper before getting out yourself.

As your little one gets more used to bath time and you become more confident handling them, bathing with your baby becomes lots more fun.
This page was last reviewed in November 2021.
Further information

Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700.

You might find attending one of our Early Days groups helpful as they give you the opportunity to explore different approaches to important parenting issues with a qualified group leader and other new parents in your area.

Make friends with other parents-to-be and new parents in your local area for support and friendship by seeing what NCT activities are happening nearby.

NHS Choices Birth to Five section.

Public Health England (PHE) provides guidelines about bathing children under two safely.

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Bathing your baby | Baby & toddler articles & support | NCT

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You won't need to bath your baby in the early days because you will probably be giving them a top and tail wash. But when you do start to bath your newborn baby, it can be a lovely experience although it may feel stressful at first.

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Going home with your baby can feel pretty scary - suddenly it becomes all very real - you and your partner are completely in charge of protecting this little being that you co-created! So, what does your baby need from you in those first days and weeks? Well, they will need their basic physical needs to be met of course. To build your own confidence and competence, as well as to give mum time to recover, it's a good idea to get as hands on as possible with all these tasks. Of course, your baby also needs you for a lot more than just their physical needs, it is a crucial time in bonding and nurturing their emotional wellbeing too. Here is the low down on everything you need to know for those first days...

FEEDING

A newborn baby will feed regularly, probably every two to four hours initially, but exactly how often is individual to the baby (and even to how they are feeling that day) and it can vary.

Babies tummies are tiny when they are first born, and so they will need regularly filling back up. By allowing your baby to feed when they need to, you give them the opportunity to make sure they are getting what they need when they need it. Some days it can seem like the next feed starts just as the previous one is ending, but this is normal.

It is also normal for your baby to lose a little weight after birth, which is why your midwife/health visitor may not weigh your baby again until they are a week old, so that you do not worry too much about it! This all makes sense when you consider that your baby has lost that womb environment where all their needs were being met around the clock by Mum and the placenta doing all the work.

Cord Care

Your baby will have an umbilical stump from where the cord was cut to detach them from the placenta after birth. This stump is usually secured with either a plastic cord clip or a cord tie - and after birth, all you need to do is to try and keep this area free from catching on clothing, clean and dry.

Try and keep the cord stump clear of your baby's nappy to keep it clean, and if you wash your baby, try and avoid the area - although do not worry if it becomes wet, just let it dry out again while making sure baby is kept warm.

Your baby's umbilical stump will normally fall off after 3-5 days, revealing their little belly button! There can still be a few more days/weeks of healing yet to happen, but your midwife/health visitor will check it to make sure it all looks ok. If you have any worries at all about the cord at any time, mention them and get the area checked just to be sure.

Nappies

One of the astounding things about becoming a parent is how most of us suddenly become very comfortable talking in all kinds of circumstances about poo and our baby's bowel movements!

For many of us dads, the first nappy which we change is that of our own baby. We can feel a bit anxious about doing it - whether we will do it right, whether we might hurt the baby as we do it, if it will make us gag! It is normal to feel a bit anxious about it the first time, but one thing is sure, getting involved will quickly get rid of any worry.

In the early days you might find that your baby does not appreciate having their nappy changed and may cry while you are doing it. Conversely, they might love being naked and cry when you put their nappy/clothes back on! Either way, try and talk to them as you do it, and a big cuddle afterwards will usually ease any tears.

If you ever spot anything in a nappy which you are worried about, keep the nappy and its contents as they are, and show it to your midwife/health visitor/GP.

So when it is time for a nappy change, follow these simple steps:

Have all your equipment ready and make sure your baby is in a safe place for changing. If using a changing table, never leave your baby alone, even very young babies have been known to unexpectedly roll or move, and you don't want your baby to get hurt.

Check out the situation. Unfasten the nappy tabs on the front and then have a peep inside to see what you are dealing with. As your baby's genitals are exposed to cold air this can trigger a wee - so to avoid any unwanted showers, try to keep their bits covered until you are ready!

Clean. Slide the old nappy out from under the bottom, and dispose of it. Make sure that you wipe your baby clean with your cotton wool and water or wipes, whether they have done a wee or a poo. If you have a little girl, always be sure to wipe from front to back, to avoid risks of spreading infection. With little boys, never be tempted to pull the foreskin back to clean it. It will retract on its own, but not for a good few years yet.

New nappy. Slide the back of the new nappy behind your baby's bottom and waist, and then pull over the front to fasten. Don't pull the nappy too tight across Baby's tummy when fastening - pop two fingers inside the waistband to check it there is a bit of room. If it is too tight, or too loose, just undo and then redo the tabs.

And cuddle! Then get your little one dressed again and give them lots of cuddles!

Bathing

Bath time often becomes the domain of daddy - especially for us working dads who don't get to see our children during the day, it can be an opportunity to have our own individual time with our little ones.

While your baby is not mobile, they only need to be bathed two or three times a week, as they don't get that dirty, given they are not splashing about in muddy puddles just yet! Plus, between all the face cleanings and bottom changes they have each day, your baby is already getting cleaned a lot anyway!

However, if you and your baby particularly enjoy bath time, then you do not have to limit how many they have, it is perfectly fine to bathe them every day.
Bathing Top tips:

You don't need too much water in the bath - just a little (about 13 cm/5 in) is plenty, and check that the temperature is suitable for your baby - 37°C is recommended.

Lower your baby's legs in first, and use your arm under their back, head and neck as a support in the water. You can then use your other free hand to wash their body.

Wet a flannel with the bath water and lay it over your baby's tummy while they are in the bath - they find this comforting and it helps keep them warm too.

Wash your baby's face with a wet flannel or cotton wool while they are wrapped up in a towel, either before or after their bath.

Never ever leave your baby in the bath, not even to turn your back to reach something, even if your baby is in a bath support and seems secure. A baby can drown in a couple of centimetres (1 in) of water very quickly, so it is never worth taking the risk. If you need to leave the room, scoop your baby into a towel and take them with you.

Topping-and-tailing

Topping-and-tailing is a way of washing your baby without using a bath. Basically you can use a special 'topping-and-tailing bowl', which has two separate containers for the water to keep things hygienic - one for baby's 'top' (their head and face and upper body) and one for their 'tail' - bottom, genitals and legs etc. Just dip cotton wool, a flannel or a sponge into the relevant part and wash!

One of the great things about this method of bathing, is that it is easy and can be done almost anywhere, as your baby just lies on a towel. So if you are nervous about supporting your baby in the bath while they are so small (or if they just don't like the bath) this can be as a useful alternative which does the same job!

Winding

Babies are all different when it comes to wind - some have lots of it which they need help to bring up, and some have very little. Some babies take ages to release the wind, while others bring it up straight away. The only way you will know what your baby is like, is by winding them after their feeds and seeing what happens!

There are several positions you can wind a baby in, and which works best will depend on what feels comfortable for you and your baby - you can mix them up, or stick with the same one each time.

Useful positions for winding include:

laying your baby against you so they are looking over your shoulder, while you rub or pat their back.

Or you can sit your baby on your lap and either gently rocking them back and forth, or lean them slightly forwards while rubbing their back (supporting the head and neck in both of these positions).

Another great winding position is called 'Tiger in the tree' where you lay your baby over your forearm, head in the crook of your arm, with their belly resting in the hand of your forearm. Keep that forearm close to you to give your baby added security from your torso, and gently rub your baby's back with your free hand.

BONDING

The more time you spend with your baby, the closer you will end up being. Seems obvious but it is amazing how sometimes us dads can forget this, and when we feel a bit pushed out, we go off and do our own thing rather than throwing ourselves into family life a bit more. You might sometimes feel that your partner has a stronger bond with your baby, but this does not mean that you cannot create a strong and positive bond with your own baby too.

So, the first step when it comes to building that bond with your baby is just getting involved in their day, and this means getting hands on in the day-to-day practical care of your baby - nappy changes, baths, winding - the works. There is PLENTY you can do even if your baby is being breastfed - you do not need to feed your baby to bond with them.

But you can also play with your baby, and while it will be a year or two before you can play chase together or kick a ball about, babies are sociable creatures and there are lots of opportunities for bonding through simple play and interaction.

Try sticking your tongue out at your baby: you may be amazed to find that they mimic you! You can also read stories, sing songs or nursery rhymes. You can go on a walk together, try some baby massage or enjoy bath time.

Bonding is a continuous process - it's not one single moment in time - so any time you feel that you want to strengthen that bond between yourself and your child - take the opportunity and do it.

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Going home with your baby can feel pretty scary - suddenly it becomes all very real - you and your partner are completely in charge of protecting this little being that you co-created! So, what does your baby need from you in those first days and weeks?