# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Romesh Gunesekera official author website with details of novels, events and blogs.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Romesh Gunesekera lives in London, but travels widely for festivals, workshops and British Council tours. In recent years he has held writing residencies in in Hong Kong, Singapore and Denmark, and in 2004 he was elected a Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Image Credit: http://thelocalist.com/srilanka/an-arranged-marriage/

In India, arranged marriages still remain the majorly preferred way for Indians to enter into matrimony. In case of an arranged marriage, parents and other relatives decide on a life partner that they deem suitable for their child. They keep in mind various factors, different for boys and girls, while searching for a suitable match to attach their names with. It's a tradition Indians find hard to part with. Even in the 21st Century, around 85 percent Indians prefer to marry the boy or girl chosen by their families, rather than choosing their life partners themselves. This statistics was reveled in a survey conducted by the Taj Group of Hotels. Another survey by IPSOS in 2013, revealed that 74% of young Indians, aged between 18-35 years said that they would rather let their parents choose their life partners, than choosing themselves. The success rates of these arranged marriages when compared to the figures concerning love marriages, we might just realize that sticking to traditions and listening to your parents is not always an uncool thing to do.
History & Evolution
Historically speaking, weddings during the Vedic times took place by a variety of methods. While arranged marriages were preferred, the consent of the bride was generally taken into consideration. In case of royal families, parents arranged a Swayamvar, a ceremony where suitable matches from all over the country were invited. Thereafter, either these suitors had to prove their prowess to win over the girl, or the girl herself will choose one of them, by offering him a flower garland. Even love marriages and elopements were quite common. The couple in love will elope and undergo what is known as 'Gandharva' type of marriage.

From around 500 BC, the Vedic Hindu culture gave rise to what we have come to known as Hinduism. The Manu Smriti, a religious discourse that outlined the do's and don'ts for regarding duties, rights, laws, code of conduct, and virtues to be practiced by people practicing family life, if they want to lead a life of sanctified dharma. These rules were seeped in patriarchal tones and advocated stripping women of their basic independence, from a belief that independent women spread promiscuity. The women from this time on were put under the shackles of forced patriarchy, having to live under the guardianship of a man in all stages of life: Father when she is unmarried, Husband when she is married and son when she is old/widowed.

As position of women in the society degraded, the concept of marriage and her role in it also changed. Previous custom of asking for her consent was abolished and rituals like dowry, child marriages, exchange marriage and other derogatory customs began to rise. Arranged marriages became the most prevalent way of marriage in the country and among Hindus especially.
Process of Arranged Marriage
Arranged marriages in India are long drawn out processes, where finalizing the perfect match may take months and even years. In typical arranged marriages, the parents decide every facet of the process and the prospective bride and groom just show up at the prearranged date of marriage. The parents send out words through that they are looking for a match for their child through their social circle (neighbors and relatives). They might also employ the services of the local matchmaker. Traditionally the matchmaker is an individual who keeps a database of marriageable individual from the neighboring area. Once a match is established, the elders of the family first meet at a neutral place to talk and also to figure out the suitability of the match firsthand. In these meetings, the families try to judge the financial and cultural barometer of each other through direct or indirect talks.
Criteria for Suitable Match
The suitability of a match is determined after taking into account several factors. While some are common for the boy's and girl's sides, certain others are tailored to suit either side. Some of these criteria are:

Religion: Religion tops the list of criteria while fixing a marriage match. The boy and girl going for an arranged marriage have to belong to the same religion. Hindus will marry Hindus, while Muslims will look for a match within the Muslim community and Christian families will prefer their children getting married to a Christian. This is probably to preserve the culture and heritage of their religion as customs and rituals vary greatly between religions.

Caste: Caste is another important criterion in the list. Hindu religion is divided and subdivided into several castes, which are again branched out into sub-castes. While seeking a match, the parents prefer to choose a candidate belonging to same or compatible caste and sub-caste. This is probably done to preserve the ethnicity of the caste and to seek a match with people having similar customs as one.

Culture: The cultural background of the two families is also taken into consideration while fixing a match. Orthodox families do not prefer to initiate alliances with families who seem permissive and open-minded and vice versa. Educational background of the families is also seen to impact a marriage match. Their moral backgrounds are also scrutinized while considering a match.

Horoscope: Horoscope matching is an indispensible part of the arranged marriage process and it is generally the cinching criterion for finalizing the talks. Horoscope refers to the birth chart or natal chart of an individual, based upon the positions of astrological luminaries like the Sun, the Moon, the Planets and other stars at the time of the individual's marriage. It generally holds important life predictions as well as describes the individual's character based on the positions of astrological bodies in specific positions. In India, it is believed that the horoscope holds the key to every important events of an individual's life and Vedic Astrology is followed as the preferred method. The horoscope matching according to Vedic Astrology is based on nakshatras or Lunar constellation and the process is known as Guna Milap or Ashtakoot Milan. This assesses the compatibility of the two people in focus based on thirty six points or guna. To be deemed a good match at least eighteen out of thirty six gunas need to be matching. Other astrological conditions also needs to be determines such as Mangalik Dosha which occurs when the planet mars is positioned in 1st, 4th, 8th and 12th house of the birth chart. The priest, who is matching the kundalis or birth charts, then prescribes some remedies to counteract the negative effects.

Professional Stature: This criterion is almost exclusively considered by the girl's side while looking for a match. The prospective groom needs to have a stable job or business and earn enough money so that he can comfortably support his future family. The higher the professional stature of the boy is, the more in demand he enjoys in the marriage field.

Physical Appearance: This is the prime criterion of suitability for a girl when being considered for marriage. The color of skin still plays one of the most important deciding factors when it comes to arranged marriage and fair-skinned girls are always preferred over wheatish or dark-skinned girls. Height, weight and other physical aspects are also scrutinized. While the physical appearance of the boy is important to some extent, not much stress is placed on the concept as long as he is not suffering from any serious problem. Apart from physical appearance, the girl is also judged based upon her efficiency in domestic chores such as cooking, stitching, and cleaning.
Meeting Between Families/Prospective Spouses
After horoscopes have been matched, and the priest has given his blessing to go ahead owing to pre-determined compatibility of their birth charts, the groom's family visits the bride family to see the bride and finalize the marriage. Elders of both the families are seated and the bride-to-be is brought in, properly decked up in fine clothes and jewelry. The bride is seated in the middle of the room and is scrutinized by the boy's family members, often interviewed to judge her domestic knowledge. The groom may or may not accompany the elders in this first visit. If he is, the bride and the groom may be allowed to converse or even meet in private, although such meetings will be heavily chaperoned. If the groom's family considers the girl suitable for their son, they will intimate the girl's family through the matchmaker. Sometimes, there are investigations around the neighborhood to absolutely determine suitability of the match. If all goes well, the marriage talks proceed, solidify, and move towards formalization of the match.
Engagement
Engagement marks the formalization of the marriage match. This happens only after both the parties have agreed that this is the best match possible for their child from all aspects. Depending on the ethnicity and customs of the two families, a date is fixed where the formal announcement of the match and impending wedding is to happen. There might or might not be a formal ring exchange, but usually the date of marriage is fixed on that day. Usually a priest is consulted, and depending on the groom's and bride's horoscope a marriage date is set. The two families exchange gifts and sweets.
Arranged Marriage in Modern Times
Although the practice of arranged marriage has remained favored in the country, the whole procedure has seen some major modernizing changes. For instance, computers, websites and portals have taken over the job of traditional matchmakers, with computer programs predicting matches for individuals. Several marriage portals have sprung up over the last decade or so and while organizations like Bharat Matrimony, and Shaadi have been in the arena for quite some time, upcoming platforms like SimplyMarry are also proving to be worthy contenders. Nowadays, the criteria for matches have also changed - for example in urban areas, working women are often preferred as better matches and their professional stature is considered similarly to the grooms. Emphasis is put on education and values, rather than just efficiency in the domestic arena. Criteria like blood tests are also gaining more and more favor among the urban community. The prospective partners are allowed to interact more freely nowadays, over the phone or even face to face. The concept of courtship has gained favors with the couple getting the opportunity to know each other, sometimes for as long a year between the actual marriage dates. While not much have changed in the rural areas, there still is a general increase in awareness when it comes to issues like child marriages and dowry.
Significance and Success Rate
The fact that sticking to traditions and placing one's faith on the judgment of one's parents is not such a bad thing, has been proved by the low divorce rates among arranged marriage couples. The divorce rate is about 1 in every 100 incidences. That and the evidences of long term stability of the alliance make the phenomenon as a go to for Indians. While the concepts like 'seeing' and scrutinizing the bride by the groom's family seem derogatory to feminist sensibilities, an arranged marriage, unlike love marriages, provide a complete clean slate for the couple, where they can set expectations according to the partner's after marriage temperament. The tradition is built more in terms of commitment and duty rather than love and passion. Some would say the former is a much stronger base to build a marriage on as at the end of everything, a marriage boils down to exactly those two factors. So, despite much judgment from all of modern world, this may be the secret of strong Indian values.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Know All About Arranged Marriage In India!

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Image Credit: http://thelocalist.com/srilanka/an-arranged-marriage/ In India, arranged marriages still remain the majorly preferred way for Indians to enter into matrimony. In case of an arranged marriage, parents and other relatives decide on a life partner that they deem suitable for their child.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Two strangers from different cities having absolutely opposite personalties are made to tie the 'bond of life' - MARRIAGE. Yes, that is what Unarranged is all about! The film depicts how arranged marriages, that are still prevalent in the indian society, are not as scary as they are thought to be.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.keywords[]
2016 latest arranged marriage short movie

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
2016 latest Arranged Marriage short movie

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
2016 latest Arranged Marriage short movie

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Arranged marriages are highly traditional practices where a family chooses a spouse for their child, sometimes before they are even born. The child typically have little to no say in the matter, and are forced into the marriage in order to gain financial or social advantages for their family. However, that is not to say that all arranged marriages are bad at all. The tradition is much closer to home than many people would like to believe, and is still practiced today in places like the United States and Europe. In order to gain a better perspective on what arranged marriages have to offer the people and families involved let's break down the good and bad.

The Pros of Arranged Marriages

1. Ensures A Future
The stress and pressure of finding someone to settle down and live your life with is overwhelming for many people, and this pressure grows with each passing day. With arranged marriages, that stress is never there, because they know that they are ensured someone to live their life with.

2. It's A Family Affair
The families of the spouses are deeply involved in the process of choosing a partner for their family member. This means that the two families will get along, relieving the worry that your parents may not like the spouse that you have chosen. This process also strengthens the bond between the two families as well as relationships within each.

3. Love Grows
Many of the people who are married through arranged marriages do not begin their married life loving their partner, but this changes. Living life and going through experiences is what grows your love for a person. This is especially true in an arranged marriage situation.

4. Understand Expectations
What is expected of each person is made clear from the get go. This takes alot of the guess work out of the relationship, because each knows the expectations for the other. A woman knows if her husband expects her to know how to cook, or if he expects her to be a working woman.

The Cons of Arranged Marriages

1. The Absence of Choice
If you truly dislike the person your family has chosen for you, there is very little that you can do to change it. The majority of arranged marriages are forced, which means that you can not object. This could sentence a person to a life of misery with someone that they do not like or agree with.

2. A Loss of Experience
When you are involved in an arranged marriage, it is typically arranged when you are very young. You are not allowed to date or attempt to meet anyone else because you husband or wife has already been chosen for you. There are many experiences that come from the dating world that are lost with arranged marriages.

3. Can Be Exploitation
Families that are poor or have very bad social standing in their community may knowingly marry their child to a bad or corrupt family in order to gain wealth and social standing. This is basically a form of slavery and an exploitation that greatly damages lives.

4. A Higher Chance of Divorce
Divorce is a word that is very frowned upon in most cultures, especially in a situation with an arranged marriage. However, it is also very common. This is because there is no way to know if you are right for someone until you get to know them, which you do not get to do in an arranged marriage. The only way away from this person is through divorce, which usually ends in burnt bridges with family members and an isolation from the community.

Important Facts About Arranged Marriage

90% of the marriages that take place in India are arranged marriages.

Hindu, Indians, and Chinese cultures are the ones that practice arranged marriages the most.

The ideal age for a woman to be married off is 25 while for a man it is 30.

Some arranged marriages are not forced, and the families give their children a full choice in the matter.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
8 Biggest Arranged Marriage Pros and Cons

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Arranged marriages are highly traditional practices where a family chooses a spouse for their child, sometimes before they are even born. The child typically have little to no say in the matter, and are forced into the marriage in order to gain financial or social advantages for their family.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Marriages are an institution that is given massive respect even now. Marriages in India are of two types; arranged marriages and love marriages.

Arranged marriage, by definition, is getting married to a person you hardly know. While this screams stranger danger, in most cases, they work; keyword being most.
Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the third person unites two unknown people. The groom and the bride are selected by parents, relatives, or by family members. These types of marriages were common until the 18th century.
In the early days, the bride and the groom saw each other only on their wedding day. Thus, this arranged marriage was also forced marriage for a few, and even earlier in India even child marriage was legal. But now child marriages are banned but yet sadly praticed in remote and rural parts of few regions.

1. Pros of an Arranged Marriage

These arranged marriages pros and cons are pretty common. But as elders decide on their life partner.

It is safe to say that the bride and the groom will get to have a safe and secure life as elders make good decisions and the best decisions for their children. I hereby tell you about 5 sensible pros and cons of arranged marriage.

1.1. Secure life

Parents are the matchmakers in India where arranged marriages are common. Parents always want their children to marry a person who is equally educated with good earnings and well settled in their lives.

It's obvious that they choose a perfect match for their child who has all the above qualities. Thus, arranged marriage leads to having a beautiful secure life.

1.2. Close to culture

An arranged marriage occurs and is meant to marry a person who has the same nationality, religion, culture, and tradition, and also who has their mother tongue similar.

People are so specific in these things that they search for years to get a perfect match. Of course, it's required to get a perfect match as both of them to spend their entire life with each other building their own new family.

Thus, arranged marriages will make the culture and traditions as close as possible and religious issues do not arise at all.

1.3. Family Connections Last Forever

The bride and the groom are fixed by their family. The two families will have a good relationship, and all the connections between the family and the newly married couple will last long without any misunderstandings.

Whereas in a love marriage it's complicated because the bride's family may or may not like the groom or vice versa. This creates major differences among their families.

1.4. Similar Values

As I said earlier, arranged marriages are decided by parents, as they are well experienced in their life, they will definitely find a good and compatible one who will have similar thoughts, passions, likes, and.

This will be an advantage where a similar way of living can create good bonding between two unknowns and love begins to blossom gradually among married people.

1.5. Worrying about Children's Future is Diminished

Yes! This is one of the major pros of arranged marriage as Indians bother more about religion and culture. In this type of marriage, two people of similar nationality and religion marry.

This will not create any problem in deciding about their children's religion, as both of them are of the same religion.

So, worrying about children's future religion as in the case of inter-religious marriages, is completely diminished if your future spouse had other religious beliefs.

2. Cons of an Arranged Marriage

2.1. Lack of Understanding

Parents may find a person to have similar qualities. But every individual's unique taste cannot be matched.

The groom or a bride will wish to have their own choice of life partner, but arranged marriages will suppress all those wishes and try to make two like poles to get attracted, which is practically impossible.

This will lead to a lack of understanding because of the marriage between two unknowns, who don't even have any idea about each other's personal tastes. This will gradually lead to arguments, unwanted discussions, and also fights.

2.2. No Choice of Separation

In India, parents marry their children at a very grand wedding hall, giving a huge amount of dowry to the groom and calling each and every relative, friend, and well-wisher to bless their child as it is a matter of pride and honor.

When all this goes on so well, there is no choice of separation among the married couple that are new at all, as they are married in front of many people and it is also a matter of their parent's dignity and honor.

This is not only the situation where a couple cannot get separated.

In case, if the couple is least bothered about society and they want to get separated, their families will not support them as they are the ones who chose them to be together. This creates a situation where none of them is happy.

2.3. Lack of Trust

Lack of trust among each other as both of them don't know each other well. When there is no trust, it automatically leads to unwanted arguments between each other.

2.4. The Dowry Conflict between Families

In India, dowry is the most common and significant disadvantage faced by arranged marriage. Elders decide about marriage and even about the give and take policy. I meant to say dowry.

Yes! Of course, it's a give-and-takes policy where people exchange their daughter and money for a highly qualified, well-settled groom trusting that he'll take care of her with the help of financial security.

This system creates conflict among both families when the bride's families fail to reach the expectations set up by the groom's family. This also spoils the husband-wife relationship.

2.5. Family Pressure and Forced Marriage

Arranged marriages are most likely to be marriage that is forced as children are forced to marry the person of their parent's choice, as parents want their child to lead a good future life by neglecting their wishes and suppressing their desire to marry a person of their choice.

This gradually creates a marriage that is forced that will be of no use; because of this, neither the married ones are happy nor their families.

FAQs

1. What Do the Girl and Boy Discuss when They Meet for An Arranged Marriage?

Before the meeting, you can obtain a good sense of the person by looking at their bio, common friends and extended relatives, and social networking platforms like Facebook.

You can learn about the suitors' likes, dislikes, pals, interests, and passions by browsing through the same. And prepare your questions properly.

You should also consider the following:

Whether you want to marry a housewife or a career lady.

In terms of how you intend to extend your family unit, for example, if you enjoy having children,

Whether you have a joint or a nuclear family, what attributes do they like in a future bride and whether the lady in question can adjust?

I don't think it makes sense to talk about previous relationships and virginity.
Discuss their life philosophy.
You should inquire about the attributes they seek in a future relationship.

2. What Is the Most Serious Flaw in Arranged Marriages?

Most boys come to meet a girl under the influence of their parents or because they are of a certain age.
Most Indian men are befuddled.

Especially those that earn a good living and are well-established in their careers. Sometimes I feel sorry for them, and other times I am disgusted by them. When they talk to a female who thinks for herself, they feel threatened.

3. Which Is Preferable: An Arranged or A Love Marriage?

The arranged marriage method is simply intended to put together two people who are definitely looking for a companion. And see if they can strike the spark without igniting the fire if you know what I mean.

In fact, the love marriage settings depicted in movies are far too unrealistic and nasty. They get too far into the game before committing. Many times, it makes people wonder if the other person is far too promiscuous for their liking. They can't take a step back or go forward with their doubts.

- Yashasvini
Originally posted 2015-09-24 20:11:33.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
10 Exciting Pros and Cons of Arranged Marriage

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Marriages are an institution that is given massive respect even now. Marriages in India are of two types; arranged marriages and love marriages. Arranged marriage, by definition, is getting married to a person you hardly know. While this screams stranger danger, in most cases, they work; keyword being most.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Arranged marriages are those that are organized by the parents or other relatives of the bride and the groom. They're often compared with non-arranged marriages (which are also called love marriages or free choice marriages), whereby the bride and the groom marry because they love each other. Arranged marriages often come in two forms: traditional arranged marriages (i.e. the parents look for a potential bride and groom but allow their child to voice out their opinions) and forced marriages (i.e. the parents choose a bride or groom for their child, with the latter having no say in the matter).

Arranged marriages have been around for a long time - in fact, they were quite common around the world until the 18th century - and they're still an important part of many cultures until today. They have been practiced by almost everyone, from royal families who want to keep their power and riches within themselves to minority religious groups who consider arranged marriages as a way to show their obedience and obtain salvation.

A lot of people believe that arranged marriages is a good way for young men and women to find their life partner. However, there are those who are against this type of marital union and think that it impedes on young people's freedom to choose. To know more about the two sides of this argument, you have to learn about the advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriages.

List of Advantages of Arranged Marriages

1. They remove the stress that comes from dating.
Many people who date with marriage in mind often end up frustrated because they either don't find someone who fits their requirements or they end up with someone who seems to be their perfect match but is not ready to get married. Arranged marriages can eliminate this frustration along with the headaches and heartaches that come with it. Since a man and a woman are paired by their parents with marriage in mind, they don't have to worry if the relationship will end in matrimony or not (because it most likely will). They also don't have to fret if the other will accept their personality and quirky habits because it's a given that the husband and wife will have to adjust to each other.

2. They let parents find the right spouses for their children.
Many of those who practice arranged marriages do so not just because of religious and cultural reasons but also because they believe that young people would prioritize pleasure and physical attraction when choosing a partner. Because of this, parents and other older relatives take it upon themselves to choose the right husband or wife for their children and/or younger relatives.

Many parents arrange marriages for their children so they can find a son-in-law or a daughter-in-law who comes from a good family, has an excellent reputation, practices the same religion, and has a well-earning job. They'll also have the chance to choose someone who has good looks and doesn't have any serious hereditary diseases in their family.

3. They ensure harmony within the family.
Two of the biggest issues in non-arranged marriages are 1) the parents don't get along with their son-in-law or daughter-in-law and 2) the two sets of parents don't get along with each other. These problems aren't present in arranged marriages since the parents of the bride and the groom meet beforehand and agree to marry their children. Each set of parents also do extensive research on the prospective groom or bride and give their approval before the wedding takes place, so there's no reason for them to dislike their son-in-law or daughter-in-law.

4. They help preserve traditions and cultural norms.
Since arranged marriages usually happen between people from the same race and religion, they can continue to practice their traditions and customs with ease. These can then be passed on from one generation to another and ensure their culture will be preserved. This can be greatly beneficial to children in arranged marriages since they won't have to worry about which religion and culture they should follow, and they can immerse themselves in the traditions and customs of their parents and establish a strong sense of identity.

List of Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages

1. They limit people's freedom to choose.
Arranged marriages, particularly forced ones, don't let young people choose whom they'd marry. This can make them feel powerless and hopeless - particularly if they end up marrying someone they don't like - and feel like they don't have any control about their life and their future. This, in turn, can lead to unhappiness and misery and may even pave the way to anxiety and depression.

2. They can result to incompatible matches.
Even if two people come from the same race, religion, and culture, there is still a high chance that they won't get along well with each other, especially if their personalities clash. Their similar backgrounds are also not an assurance that they would develop love for each other; if it won't, they're doomed to have a loveless marriage, which is mostly unpleasant for the bride and groom as well as any children they'll have. If this happens, they have two major options to choose from: get divorced or stick with their miserable marriage for the rest of their life.

3. They can lead to disagreements within the family.
Arranged marriages can promote harmony within the family, but they can also lead to discord. One reason for this is that the parents and even other relatives become highly involved in the couple's life, preventing them from fixing issues by themselves and causing huge amounts of stress to all parties. If they bride and groom can't get along with each other, they usually end up blaming their parents or relatives for the incompatibility, which can strain their relationships.

Conclusion

Arranged marriages comes with several benefits and has paved the way to many happy couples who eventually fall in love with each other and build a happy and satisfying relationship. However, it's important to remember that not all arranged marriages can become successful and that there are those that end up in failed relationships.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Arranged Marriages Advantages and Disadvantages

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Arranged marriages are those that are organized by the parents or other relatives of the bride and the groom. They're often compared with non-arranged marriages (which are also called love marriages or free choice marriages), whereby the bride and the groom marry because they love each other.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Do arranged marriages in India really work? Do people avoid divorce simply because it's taboo? Why is the divorce rate so much lower?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Answer (1 of 356): In the US, it is generally assumed that an Indian marriage is EITHER an arranged marriage OR a love marriage. However, it isn't so simple. Of course, every marriage is different, and common practices will be different in villages vs. cities, and family by family.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
When non-Indians ask me if I had an arranged marriage, I sometimes slyly reply: "in a sense." I'm an Indian American born and raised in the United States, married to someone who grew up in India. But it was our mutual friend, a white woman from Oregon - not our families - who played matchmaker. When I explain this to them, I know it is not the answer they expected. It does not fit their perception of arranged marriage. Neither of my two siblings had arranged marriages, nor even did my Indian-born parents. For me, arranged marriage is both familiar and foreign.

"A Suitable Girl," a new documentary film, which premiered at last week's Tribeca Film Festival, follows Amrita, Ritu and Dipti, three young, middle-class women in India, as they approach their respective arranged marriages. The film's directors, Sarita Khurana and Smriti Mundhra, who are both Indian American women and won the festival's award for new documentary director, are trying to overturn stereotypes about arranged marriage. "One of the things that we've been 'battling' has been the old-school and biased notion that all arranged marriage in India is somehow forced or associated with child brides," Khurana said. She also noted that arranged marriages might not be built on romance, but that doesn't mean these couples lack feelings for each other."The reality is more fluid," Khurana said. However, women often do get a raw end of the deal; whether or not a marriage is arranged, women "are the ones to compromise the most, expected to 'adjust,' move cities, give up or negotiate their careers, leave their families," Khurana explained.

At the center of the film is the conundrum of how young Indian women reconcile the modern aspects of their lives, including their educations and budding careers, with the tradition of arranged marriage. Ritu, for example, is passionate about her career in finance, but she is also the daughter of a professional matchmaker. So no matter how committed she is to her career, it is certain that she will marry - and that her marriage will be arranged.

Meanwhile Amrita, who works in business, is the first woman in her family to work, and she believes that after her wedding, she will continue to work in her husband's business, but that intention is quickly upended. Her experience is quite common. In a recent study of Indians age 18 to 34, for example, close to 60 percent of the married women surveyed didn't work, and 41 percent of respondents either fully or somewhat agreed with the statement: "It's not right for women to work after marriage."

Finally, there is Dipti, a primary school teacher nearing her 30th birthday who is growing increasingly desperate to find a husband. After traditional matchmaking methods don't work for her, she hesitantly turns to online dating. Dipti's reticence echoes the study's findings about Indian youth's attitudes about dating and marriage. Of those married, 84 percent had an arranged marriage, and 53 percent of respondents disapproved of dating before marriage. But Dipti's experience also suggests that those attitudes might be shifting.

On these women's paths to arranged marriage, frustrations abound. Leads for eligible bachelors dry up; someone else has snapped him up! Viable suitors change their minds after meeting. And in the case of Ritu, viewers see her clash with her family, as they each have different priorities for what they want in a suitable husband. She's looking for intellect and someone who's on the "same wavelength," while her parents are more focused on wealth.

Though these women ultimately have a choice over their prospective mate, they still feel pressured to get married. Despite the major changes and modernization India has undergone in the 70 years since its independence, cultural norms toward marriage haven't changed much. "None of them thought [remaining single] was an option, or could imagine their lives as unmarried women in Indian society," Khurana said.

As Ritu's parents search for her prospective husband, she matter-of-factly notes that marriage is compulsory: "It's not about what I am ready for or what is expected out of me. I know I have to do it. I know I have to get married." Her fiancé, who lives in Dubai and also works in finance, feels similarly: "I don't know why people get married," he said. "But yes, I know it had to happen. ... So, if not to her, somebody else." Meanwhile, Amrita confronts the realities of what she has gained and lost through her marriage. "You lose your identity when you get married, and that's something I never wanted to do," she said in the film. And despite her initial misgivings about online dating, Dipti said her "dream came true," in marrying her husband.

While Khurana and Mundhra sought to dispel narrow notions of arranged marriage, making this film challenged their views as well. "I really began to understand why young people in India overwhelmingly opt-in to the system," Mundhra said. "I think it comes down to a sense of belonging. ... Being a part of a larger community does provide support, sustenance and meaning. In India, marriage is key to belonging in society."
READ MORE: Rob Delaney of 'Catastrophe' on what makes a marriage work on-screen and off Is online dating the same as arranged marriage? Ravi Patel thinks so. They never wanted an arranged marriage. But they said 'I do' to its best parts.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Analysis | India has changed a lot in 70 years. But arranged marriage remains the norm.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
When non-Indians ask me if I had an arranged marriage, I sometimes slyly reply: "in a sense." I'm an Indian American born and raised in the United States, married to someone who grew up in India. But it was our mutual friend, a white woman from Oregon - not our families - who played matchmaker.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
It was like any blind date. I had dressed in my Saturday best and walked to my favorite brunch restaurant in West Los Angeles to meet a guy -- let's call him Raj -- for the first time.

I recognized him from the pictures I'd seen, and we greeted each other with smiles and a firm handshake. We had e-mailed a few times and spoken on the phone to confirm our plans. He was polite; he didn't sit down in his chair until I did, and he paid the bill. Our conversation was casual to begin with: favorite movies, music, plans for the summer. No one would have guessed this setup was to be the start of an arranged marriage.

Most Westerners may think the concept of arranged marriage is backward or antiquated -- and if you watch the old Indian movies, it can come across that way: two people meet once, or not at all, before their wedding day and then are forced to make a marriage work without even being consulted about their partner. In my family, at least, that was rarely the case. My parents met and spoke before their wedding day in India and were asked whether they each saw a future with the other.

It's easy for me to rebel against this tradition my family has maintained and say, "That was then, this is now." But despite having been born and raised in America, where arrangements like this are far from a cultural norm, I understand their perspective. All they want for me is security.

Raj had a stable job, and he's well-educated. He is from a well-reputed family and comes highly recommended by family friends as a hard-working, respectful man. He was a catch in my parents' eyes. I decided to meet him after nearly a year of my parents pestering me to meet potential mates that I waved off for various reasons -- I was too young, I needed time to start my career off right, I wasn't interested, etc. But finally I caved.

By the time Raj and I had finished our brunch that sunny Saturday, I knew that a relationship would never work out. We had nothing in common except for our heritage, yet I didn't end the date there. I felt a responsibility to at least give him a little bit more time. I attributed the awkwardness of our interactions to nervousness. Maybe I was being hypercritical? Did I peg him as a boring because he ordered the fruit plate for brunch when all I wanted was a large omelet?

A part of me wanted something to work out between us; maybe we could date for a little while and then get married and make everyone happy. But as we talked after brunch that day, it was more apparent that a romance between Raj and me wasn't in the cards. His ideals were far more traditional than mine. I felt like I needed to be another person around him, not the career-oriented, passionate, food-loving, world-traveling woman that I am. I was also headed to graduate school in the fall and had to consider being engaged and trying to start a relationship with someone during that hectic time.

At the end of our date, he asked whether we could get married that December. Get married? I wasn't even sure I wanted to have dessert with him! So I awkwardly tried to skirt around the subject of marriage and explained that I had a lot to think about with grad school coming up. I was hoping he'd mistake my dishonesty for kindness.

After I went back to Singapore, where I lived at the time, I discussed the decision with my parents and outlined the reasons why I knew things would never work between Raj and me, even though we hadn't spent much time together. To my surprise, they understood and trusted my judgment. I then had the tough task of telling Raj we wouldn't be marrying in December. He responded with a polite e-mail telling me he understood my decision. I never talked to him again.

Since then, my parents have let the subject of an arranged marriage drop. I gave their way a chance and that was enough for them.

I think they understand I'm different from my cousins -- and mostly because they raised me to be the person I am today. But I do understand their reasons behind trying to get me to consider an arranged marriage. It's not some foreign tradition they arbitrarily adopted to make me miserable or different. They want me to find someone they approve of and I can learn to love. They want me to be settled, and most importantly they want me to be happy.

Maybe if Raj had been my ideal guy, I would have been married by now. I wish I could have come back to my parents and told them that all they wanted for me and all I wanted in a husband had aligned in Raj. I don't know if I'll end up having an arranged marriage -- likely not. But that's not because I had a horrifying experience. What I do know is that until I get married, my mom will be dropping not-so-subtle hints that the best (Mother's Day, birthday, holiday ...) gift for her would be me getting married.

And in case you were wondering, Raj got married that December, just like he wanted.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
It was like any blind date. I had dressed in my Saturday best and walked to my favorite brunch restaurant in West Los Angeles to meet a guy -- let's call him Raj -- for the first time. I recognized him from the pictures I'd seen, and we greeted each other with smiles and a firm handshake.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Forced Marriage Cops (Crime Documentary) | Real Stories

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
A Suitable Girl / Official Clip / "Matchmaking"

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Ritu, an educated and ambitious young women, introduces us to her mother, Seema, a professional matchmaker. Ritu describes the expectations of young men and women when it comes time to find a spouse, and how they conflict with her own goals and ideals.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Last week we celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary. Ours was an arranged marriage, and I had not even seen his picture before saying yes to him. Sounds so backwards, eh?!

I didn't see his picture because I didn't care to see, as I was already besotted by him when I began to talk to him on the phone and chatting with him over email.

It was the beginning of 2009. I was on holiday with my friend in Manipur without informing my parents.

I called my sister at the hour of departure and told her I was leaving for a four-day holiday in Manipur with my friend.

Before she could say anything, I switched off my phone and sat on the ATR that took off from Kolkata.

Within this short trip, I intended to leave behind the emotional bruises of a failed relationship and also to get some relief from the mounting pressure of arranged marriage that had been dangling over my head.

For the past five years, my papa brought proposals to me for marriage, and I somehow couldn't seem to settle down with any of them.

I would talk to them, once or multiple times, depending on my interest, but none of them fit well in my vision of a "life partner."

It was difficult to explain this concept of "my kind of life partner" to my increasingly restless parents, but I was determined to not give in to their irrational demands.

I knew I would rather stay single and stay abroad than marry someone against my wishes. Coming to Manipur was an impulsive decision to gain some sanity.

I didn't know the devil of arranged marriage would follow me up there, where the phone caught signal once every 10 minutes. But you see, parents find a way to get to you.

I was trying to call my bestie from Manipur, and was haggling with the intermittent network, when I saw my phone beeping: "Papa calling."

It sent chills down my spine, but as a matter of family rules, I answered the call. What I heard from the other end was more than enough to spoil my vacation.

Papa had given my number to a prospective match who might call me anytime. I was now on an alert, and since I couldn't hate Papa, I hated this prospect who could call me. Couldn't he give a set date and time?

Thankfully the phone call never came, but a month later an email arrived on Valentine's Day.

The sender had politely asked me to be his friend, and while he told me about himself in a flat 10 sentences, he asked me if I wanted to change him.

As a thoughtful reply, I wrote to him in detail that I was a spontaneous and happy-go-lucky girl who was seeking love, chemistry, mutual understanding and a spark. This probably didn't answer his questions, so he called me the next day.

"I sent you an email but you didn't reply," he questioned.

"I did. I sent a long reply," I retorted.

"You sent an email but it was not the reply to my questions. They remained unanswered," he argued.

I didn't know what to say, except that I thought he was an extremely arrogant man full of attitude with a superiority complex of his job.

I didn't want to carry on with the conversation, but I did because I knew I would have to answer Papa after the call.

We talked, and he spoke about his life, his personality and he confessed this was the first call he ever made to a girl. At the end of that hour-long conversation, he admitted that he had never spoken to any woman for that long.

"What? Not even to your mum?" I asked.

"Sadly, no. I lost her when I was 14, which was five years after my father's death."

I was quiet, speechless and spellbound. This explains his maturity. He didn't carry a phone, which is why he couldn't give a set date and time to call.

This explained why he asked me if I wanted to bring about any change in him. He wanted to be accepted the way he is, and he brutally presents himself in his purest form to people.

"I do not have any bank balance or property but I have immense love to give.

I have always held onto this love and I now want to love someone to the best of my capacity," he said in one of the following conversations.

Is he a part of me? How else could he know that I was seeking somebody who could love me to the best of his abilities? How could he learn that I didn't need money or wealth or property, but a sound character and true, pure love?

One phone call led to another and one email gave way to a chain of emails. We shared views, opinions and feelings.

He talked about his struggling childhood, while I talked about my insecurities and inferiorities.

We discussed the hypocrisies of society and we planned for a happier future.

But I had not seen his picture while he had seen plenty of mine. My social networks were rife with images of my vacations, friends and family, and he was completely absent from Google.

One day Papa asked me, "How is it going with him? Did he say he is ready to marry you?"

"No. He hinted at it but he hasn't said it explicitly," I replied.

That night he specifically mentioned marrying me, and I asked him to talk to Papa. He called Papa and only said, "Thank you, uncle."

Papa was a little confused and asked, "Thank you for what?"

"Thank you for sending Surabhi in my life. I want to marry her."

Next day we were off to his training center in Mussoorie to carry out a small, formal family tradition of "roka."

My heart thumped heavily on those curvy, snaky uphill roads. What if I don't like him physically? What if he had chubby cheeks?

What if he was too fair? My mind was bombarding my heart with questions, and my heart replied to each question with a quick heartbeat.

I knew he had worked in Indian Air Force for 10 years, so I was assured he possessed a well rugged body, but body wasn't enough.

I had to like his face. I wanted to see kindness in his eyes and an innocent, compassionate face.

Finally the moment arrived. He was waiting outside his training center to receive us. From the rear window of the car, I glanced at him. Standing around 5'8" tall, he looked decent and handsome.

A sharp nose, petite eyes and a broad jaw primarily defined his facial features. Behind those glasses, I could see purity in his eyes.

His well combed, oily hair was a bit of a turn off, and so was his old patterned shirt, but I chose to dive deeper into his disposition that was charming on the phone and now charismatic in person.

We met, shook hands and he gifted me a rose bud. "My eternal love is yours now," he said.

Now that we are happily and crazily married (we fight 10 times in a week), I can see how an arranged marriage system came to my rescue when I was failing at taking charge of my life.

After brief stints of attempting to find love, I gave up. I realized that maybe I was not destined to get married and that my kind of love does not exist in the world.

My kind of love is slightly possessive, but overtly giving. It comprises more of shared laughs and dreams and less of gifts and services.

My love is about me and my happiness, and my lover should be okay with it. But this is where I faltered. How can a person love you without demanding a bit of happiness for himself?

In my kind of love, I don't give happiness to him. He must derive it from mine, and how and where would I find such a person?

Who would love me the way I want to be loved? Who would take the risk and eventually have a core belief that once he loves me, I will ultimately give all of myself to him?

Had I met him on any random occasion, I am sure I wouldn't have continued talking to him after five minutes.

It was the pressure (and the liberty) of an arranged marriage system to talk to him that helped me in knowing him further beyond those superficial, materialistic aspects.

I am thankful for the fact that Papa insisted I talk to him. It is an added advantage that Papa had done all the background checks by himself, and that there were no chances of being cheated.

The best part is that Papa admired him instantly when he met him for the first time. Papa was so sure of his choice that he knew this guy would sweep me off my feet; he was so right.

He courted me for three months before we got married, in a dowry-free marriage.

I did not think twice about not utilizing my Bradford MBA, and I quit my business analyst job with a MNC to settle down with him in the pristine and remote islands of Andaman and Nicobar Islands.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
How I Found True Love In An Arranged Marriage

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Last week we celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary. Ours was an arranged marriage, and I had not even seen his picture before saying yes to him. Sounds so backwards, eh?! I didn't see his picture because I didn't care to see, as I was already beso...