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I liked how it was so aesthetic and the layout was so pleasing/organized. My wish is that the paragraphs were a bit longer but you still. Managed to cover everything. Great job.

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Star: I really like the general idea of the product because your product is less bulky and can be more comfortable for people who need hearing aids.

Star: I like the features of the earringaid because of the advanced technology. It sounds interesting to me and it persuaded me.

Wish: One wish I have is that you explain what the advanced technology of your product is. I saw what you said in the beginning but never went back to that topic.

Overall good job.

From,
AJ Skara

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I really like your hook because it brought good attention and was appealing. I also like your thesis because it was proven to be useful and great. I dont have a wish good job

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Star: I really like your product and your thinking about cool looking earrings
Star:i like how the slides were not to wordy and easy to read
Wish: i wish that i could hear that

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One thing I liked about your presentation was how the slides weren’t wordy. I liked how you added bullet points instead of writing a whole paragraph. Another thing I liked about your presentation was your hook started with a fact. I thought that was creative and that is a significant number of people to be born deaf. Overall, your presentation was great.

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I really like on how you described why your product was better than the competing products because it really shows how much confidence you guys have but a wish i have for you is not really towards writing its more about the decision you made. You asked for $500,000 for only 20% I do get that it may cost a lot of money for factories and making the hearing aids but $500,000 is crazy. All in all you guys as a group did a great job on explaining why your product is the best and comparing it to other products.

-Jay Sachkowsky

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I like how you made a fun fact. I also like how you show how your hearing aid looks like. However I can’t think of a wish.

- Thomasthejedi

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I like your hook “the right way to hear “i like you not so fun fact i must ask where is it on the third slide, slide six how it so small and wut

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One thing I really enjoyed about your piece is how your piece was really flowing. You had a great use of word choice and transition words. In your warrants, I like how you didn’t use this means or this matters. Another thing I enjoyed was your question right in the beginning. It hooked me and it made me wanting to keep reading the story.

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One thing I really enjoyed about your essay is that your conclusion gave a really nice sense of closure. The main points were summed up very well and the call to action was great. Also, throughout your whole essay you used awesome word choice and sentence variation. I didn’t feel like you repeated anything until your conclusion paragraph, but that’s where you sum everything up. In your second body paragraph, I liked how you used your own experiences or words for evidence to support your claim. Although your hook, hooked me, some other people who don’t play soccer might not be as interested, especially if they don’t know a lot of people who play. Overall you did an outstanding job.

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Your Conclusion had a great summarizing of main points and coled the essay very well, Your call to action was writen nicley I  liked your word choice you used and connected your call to action with problems going on currently like COVID-19. The only thing that didnt really stand out to me was your introduction, it didnt really hook me in, I would suggest to add more background information to your bridge to tell readers why this is a problem, but overall I enjoyed reading your essay.

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I really like how you brought in a whole other world problem such as covid 19, it showed how everything is a chain reaction and it relates to everything. I would’ve never thought that soccor and covid would have related to eachother but here we are. I would maybe use some synonym words for “my second reason is” and “my first reason is, just so that way its not repetitive. Overall great job