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We Remember the Victims of the Pulse Nightclub Shooting (7/7)

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We Remember the Victims of the Pulse Nightclub Shooting (6/7)

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We Remember the Victims of the Pulse Nightclub Shooting (1/7)

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Muslims in Orlando, Florida are living in fear of retaliation following the mass murder of 49 people at a gay nightclub by Omar Mateen, who claimed to support the Islamic State terrorist group.

And they are concerned comments by politicians such as Donald Trump are inflaming anti-Muslim sentiment.

"Maybe someone will come. Crazy guy, like that guy, who killed a lot of people in downtown Orlando," Imam Mohamed Nur said at Central Florida Mosque.

"Maybe another crazy guy will show up and shoot the community. That fear exists."

Shooting 'will affect Muslims all over the world'

Kalima Ali, a worshipper at the same mosque, said the impact of the attack on Pulse nightclub would be felt by Muslims across the globe.

"I was devastated personally when it happened because unfortunately that person who did that awful and horrific act does not realise the impact that it has on us Muslims in Orlando, as well as Muslims all over the world," Ms Ali said.

"That person does not understand what Islam really stands for.

"We, having climbed that ladder of trying to show what our religion really means and really stands for, he has degraded it, he has brought it down.

"His act is not one which my religion stands for."

In response to the attack, presidential hopeful Mr Trump ramped up his rhetoric about banning Muslims from immigrating to the US.

"We cannot continue to allow thousands upon thousands of people to pour into our country, many of whom have the same thought process as this savage killer," Mr Trump said.

"Many of the principles of radical Islam are incompatible with Western values and institutions.

"Remember this: radical Islam is anti-woman, anti-gay and anti-American."

Kalima Ali says the shooting will impact Muslims all over the world.

'Americans don't retaliate against Muslims'

Melissa McGee is working in Orlando as an outreach coordinator for Mr Trump.

"The reason that I got involved in the campaign, and I don't mind people knowing that I am involved in his campaign, is on this very issue, it's on immigration, unchecked immigration, unchecked refugee resettlement in the US, completely unchecked, unvetted," she said.

Ms McGee said she was appalled by the nightclub shooting, but her grief turned to anger over the response by authorities.

"They have an imam at the news conference. So they won't say that it is Islamic terrorism, but they bring an imam there," she said.

"That is what made me mad and it is indicative of what our priorities are.

"We always first look to sensitivities of a particular group rather than the 50 dead bodies and the sensitivities of those families should be top priority."

Melissa McGee got involved with Donald Trump's campaign because she's concerned about immigration.

Ms McGee said she did not believe there would be any retaliation against American Muslims.

"Have we ever seen that before? We have had the Fort Hood shooting, we have had the Boston bombing, we have had 9/11. Can you name any incidences, real incidences, where there has been Muslim backlash?" she said.

"American people - and Donald Trump is one of them - we understand who the culprit is and the culprit is these jihadists.

"They are not the people who go peacefully to the mosque, they understand that.

"American people are good people and that is why you are not seeing any Muslim attacks.

"If that is where their concern is directed as opposed to 50 dead bodies or 49 dead bodies lying in this club up here, then I think their priorities are wrong."

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Muslims fearing retaliation after gay nightclub shooting

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Muslims in Orlando, Florida are living in fear of retaliation following the mass murder of 49 people at a gay nightclub by Omar Mateen, who claimed to support the Islamic State terrorist group. And they are concerned comments by politicians such as Donald Trump are inflaming anti-Muslim sentiment. "Maybe someone will come.

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Shock and sorrow swept across the Coachella Valley on Sunday, unnerving a desert community that is often seen as an LGBT oasis with news that a domestic terror attack and hate crime in Orlando had become the deadliest mass shooting in American history.

Despite the massacre- and a perceived threat against the Los Angeles Pride festival - local residents said they refuse to live in fear. Men and women still clustered in the desert's gay neighborhoods, restaurants, bars and churches. They gathered for a vigil on Arenas Road in downtown Palm Springs as pain and horror at the attack reverberated throughout the country.

The community mourned, but did not cower.

"Someone texted me to say, 'Aren't you afraid to be on Arenas tonight, with this happening?'" said Palm Springs Mayor Rob Moon, who is gay. "I said, if we show fear, they win."
50 dead in nightclub, worst mass shooting in U.S. history
A gunman with an assault rifle killed 50 people and injured 53 at a gay nightclub in Orlando early Sunday morning. The shooter, who has been identified as Omar Seddique Mateen, a 29-year-old Florida resident who reportedly pledged his allegiance to ISIS, was killed by police at the scene. Mateen's father has suggested the shooting was motivated by hatred for homosexuals, saying his son was enraged when he saw two men kissing in public sometime before the rampage. As of Sunday afternoon, most of the deceased have yet to be identified.

"It is heart wrenching to think about what the victims went through as they were ending a night of dancing and having fun. There are parents who still don't know about their family members ..." said Denise Holdridge, 55, who works at Orlando City Hall down the street from Pulse, the nightclub that was attacked.

"It is surreal and I am paralyzed with overwhelming sadness," Holdridge added. "I will go to work tomorrow morning and hope it begins to make sense."

The nightclub shooting drew quick condemnation from politicians nationwide. In a press conference at the White House, President Barack Obama called the attacks an act of terrorism and a further reminder of the accessibility of assault weapons in the United States. California Gov. Gerry Brown called the shooting "senseless" in a statement. Locally, State Assemblyman Chad Mayes tweeted a question felt by many - "When is it going to stop?"
Obama: Orlando shooting an 'act of terror,' an 'act of hate'
The Orlando shooting comes about six months after a similar ISIS-inspired shooting occurred in nearby San Bernardino, where a radicalized Islamic couple killed 14 people at a government holiday party. To many local residents, Sunday's attack felt equally close to home, not because of where it happened, but because of who was targeted.

Most awoke to news of the shooting, which dominated new cycles from before dawn. Even at 6 a.m., sorrowful chatter had already begun between customers at The Score, a gay bar on Arenas. Bartender Mike Trindle told himself it couldn't happen here.

"People in Palm Springs aren't here to live in fear," Trindle said. "People are mostly in shock and waiting to see what happens."

About a mile away, Nick Kroenke 47, read about the shooting while eating breakfast at Townie Bagels, which sits on the edge of the Warm Sands, the valley's most prominent gay neighborhood. Like Trindle, Kroenke told himself not to be afraid.

The shooter was just one hate-filled man, he said.

"Never in my life have I been shot at for being gay," Kroenke said. "There's definitely an anti-gay sentiment out there, but the shooter was in a minority. It's bad it happened, but I'm not going to live in fear that it'll happen here."
Orlando nightclub shooter: What we know about him
At about 10:30 a.m., a congregation gathered at Saint Paul in the Desert Episcopal Church, also in Palm Springs, which had one of the largest gay and lesbian congregation in the local area.

Many of the churchgoers were at a loss for words. Rev. Andrew Green tried to fill the void.

"We need to be attentive when we hear messages of hate," said Green in his sermon "... As Christians we are called to be faithful shepherds. We are called to be messengers of peace."

Hours after the Orlando shooting, police in Santa Monica arrested a heavily-armed Indiana man who said he was in town for the L.A. Pride festival in West Hollywood. Authorities said 20-year-old James Wesley Howell was caught with three assault rifles, high-capacity magazines and a five-gallon bucket with chemicals that could be used to make an explosive device. Authorities initially said Howell admitted to harmful intentions, then later said he intended harm, and that they saw no connection to the Orlando shooting.

Regardless, the juxtaposition of assault rifles and LGBT gatherings on both coasts was startling. The pride festival continued with increased security.
LA Pride attendee armed, arrested
Local Pride leaders promised increased vigilance also.

Ron deHarte, president of the Greater Palm Springs Pride, issued a statement Sunday saying that local Pride events - held in November - will be a "demonstration of strength and solidarity."

"Our entire community is called to stand strong and show the world that love wins," he DeHarte said. "We will not be silent."
USA Today, The Associated Press and Desert Sun reporter Denise Goolsby contributed to this report.

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After Orlando shooting, 'If we show fear, they win'

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Shock and sorrow swept across the Coachella Valley on Sunday, unnerving a desert community that is often seen as an LGBT oasis with news that a domestic terror attack and hate crime in Orlando had become the deadliest mass shooting in American history.

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I'll never forget waking up three years ago. It was a Sunday morning and, in London anyway, it was sunny. Any hopes of a relaxing, lazy day were dashed, however, when I reached for my phone. A barrage of news notifications informed me that a gunman had opened fire at Pulse Nightclub in Florida, killing dozens of people.

More details soon began to emerge: Pulse was an LGBT+ nightclub and the vast majority of victims were LGBT+ people of colour. I had only recently moved to London and, just a few hours previously, I had spent my Saturday night dancing at a gay club in Hackney. As the death toll quickly rose to 49, the deadliest mass shooting in US history at the time, I clutched my boyfriend's hand and texted my parents to say I loved them.

Perhaps selfishly, I found myself thinking: "This could have been me". But it wasn't me. Thanks to the privilege of living in a country with sensible gun laws, I was still alive. Meanwhile, 49 LGBT+ people lay in a Florida morgue.

It's too easy to paint what happened in Orlando as a freak act of barbaric terrorism, which could never happen anywhere else. Pulse wasn't an isolated incident: it was both sign of the times and a warning of things to come.

Just a few weeks later, the UK voted to leave the European Union, causing a wave of hate crime to spread. According to Stonewall, one in five LGBT+ people has experienced a hate crime in the UK in the last 12 months. This number has risen further since the Brexit vote.

In America, Trump was elected just three months after the Pulse shooting, even winning the support of the majority of Florida's voters. Towns that held a Trump rally saw a 226 per cent rise in hate crime. Nationwide hate crime rose 17 per cent during his first year in office, and a fifth of these incidents directly referenced the president by name. In 2019, the average life expectancy of America's black trans women is just 35.

Of course it's far too simplistic to blame anti-LGBT+ hostility on Trump alone. He might be a symbol of anti-LGBT+, as he unpicks Obama-era trans protections and introduces the trans military ban, but an assault on LGBT+ rights was well underway before he took office. In the six months preceding the Orlando shooting, Republican lawmakers had introduced more than 200 anti-gay state-level bills. In Orlando, a survivor of the Pulse attack could have walked into work the following day and been lawfully fired just for being gay. Trump has vowed to sign further "religious freedom" bills, which would enable anti-LGBT+ discrimination in more areas, from housing to healthcare.

The Orlando shooter was, as far as we can tell, neither a Trump nor a Republican. We may never know whether Omar Mateen's actions were motivated by Islamist extremism or self-loathing, as there were reports that he was " a regular " at Pulse before the shooting. The thing we do know is that this attack was motivated by a hatred of LGBT+ people. A hatred that, as I write this three years on, has continued to rise on both sides of the Atlantic.

It's the same hatred that saw two queer women beaten up by a group of men on a London bus last week. It's the same hatred that makes people view our blood as unworthy for donation, or which that causes services and medication that stops the spread of HIV to be withheld from us.

It's the same hatred that motivates people, both Muslim protestors in Birmingham and elected officials, to support erasing LGBT+ existence from the school curriculum. As the "debate" into LGBT+-inclusive education has raged on, LGBT+ people have had to witness the UK's national broadcaster frame our existence as a " moral issue " while others debate whether we're "age appropriate".

A disturbing alliance between religious protestors, politicians and right-wing commentators has also emerged. Candidates for prime minister, such as Andrea Leadsom and Esther McVey, have made clear that they think parents - even homophobic ones - "know best" when to "expose" their children to LGBT+ people. Figures such as Katie Hopkins travelled to Birmingham to support anti-LGBT+ Muslim parents. Independent Charedi Jewish schools are reportedly considering "civil disobedience" in order to avoid teaching LGBT+ lessons.

It seems that the one thing that the Christian far-right - the notoriously Islamophobic and anti-semitic force rapidly gaining momentum across Europe and America - have in common with Muslim and Jewish fundamentalists is a hatred of LGBT+ people. Make no mistake, when people advocate for erasing LGBT+ people from the curriculum, they are facilitating violence against us. When right-wingers oppose a tightening of gun laws, they're doing the same.

In the aftermath of Pulse, LGBT+ people were told that the shooting had nothing to do with us. Writer Owen Jones famously walked off Sky News when host Mark Longhurst refused to accept that the incident was a homophobic act of terrorism. Longhurst said that the shooting was carried out against "human beings" who were "trying to enjoy themselves, whatever their sexuality".

But since then, new LGBT+ voices come to the fore to claim space and demand to be heard. Whether responding to tragedies like Pulse, the persecution of LGBT+ people in Brazil and Chechnya, or the relentless campaign against trans people in the UK - emboldened by pockets of the media and, as we've now seen, even children's charities - our community won't go down without a fight.

The day after the news broke, I went to Soho to mourn with London's LGBT+ community. Standing just metres away from the Admiral Duncan, the gay pub where a nail bomb was detonated by a Neo Nazi in 1993, we sang "Bridge over Troubled Water" as we released 49 balloons into the sky. In that moment, I felt connected to the global LGBT+ community and loved my new city.

Though the "troubled water" did not end with Pulse. Just recently, three people in one afternoon called my boyfriend and I "faggots" as we held hands in central London - a reminder of why two thirds of LGBT+ people feel too unsafe to do so. As the UK continues to slide down Europe's LGBT rankings, it's clear that not everyone - even in the diverse, progressive city that I love - loves me back.

The Pulse shooting made many of us go bed feeling a little more scared. But three years after bullets ripped through our community, stealing 49 lives and shattering many more, homophobia is still mainstream. An atmosphere of hatred pollutes the air and I'm not ashamed to admit that it terrifies me.

I can't stop the fear from trickling into my mind that, the next time a story like this happens, it might be me.

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Opinion: Three years after the Orlando Pulse nightclub shooting, I still live in fear

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I'll never forget waking up three years ago. It was a Sunday morning and, in London anyway, it was sunny. Any hopes of a relaxing, lazy day were dashed, however, when I reached for my phone. A barrage of news notifications informed me that a gunman had opened fire at Pulse Nightclub in Florida, killing dozens of people.

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A few months ago, I interviewed a 19-year-old bisexual woman and asked her why she had found it so difficult to "come out". She replied: "I just had hate coming at me from all sides". It may seem odd that a young woman living in the UK has experienced hostility because of her sexual orientation. The UK has made many legislative changes to promote lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBT) equality - such as anti-discrimination laws and same-sex marriage. But although laws have changed, negative attitudes to LGBT people unfortunately still exist.

Hate crime towards LGBT people remains a persistent problem in the UK. And new figures compiled by Galop - a LGBT anti-violence charity - show that homophobic attacks have increased 147% in the three months after the Brexit vote. Which suggests the rise in hate crime seen after the EU referendum wasn't just confined to racism or Islamophobia.

Part of the problem is that we live in a world where everyone is presumed to be heterosexual/straight - and as a society we still like to think that everyone fits comfortably into a male or female gender category. But the reality is clearly quite different - with a recent survey revealing that 49% of people aged between 18 and 24 identify as something other than 100% heterosexual.

But although the number of people identifying as something other than totally heterosexual is on the rise, it is still difficult for many people to identify fully as LGBT. This is because on top of the potential hostility an LGBT person might face, they also have to work out when the right time might be to tell someone they are not heterosexual or that they have a different gender. And this can mean that coming out is not a one time only event.

So whether it's disclosing your sexuality to colleagues at a new workplace, explaining to a school that your daughter has two dads, or talking to your son about how his mum was born a man, coming out can often be a regular exercise for many LGBT people.

Why come out?

Research shows that coming out about sexual orientation and gender identity makes a huge difference to LGBT people's ability to lead happy, open and fulfilling lives. Being open about sexual and gender identity improves LGBT people's self-esteem and self-confidence, enables better relationships, improves employment satisfaction and increases well-being and psychological health.

In a research interview, Lex, who was 25 and genderqueer, explained to me how attending a LGBT youth group helped her come out:

It really took away the feeling of isolation and enabled me to get a core group of friends who understood me. It meant I was able to access other LGBT services. And we were able to grow in confidence both in terms of feeling accepted and in accepting ourselves.

On the flip side there are tremendous negative impacts on LGBT people when they cannot be open about their sexual orientation or trans identity. This silencing can lead to isolation, self-harm, sexual risk-taking, substance abuse and poor relationships. Research shows that the inability to disclose sexual or gender identity, and the stress related to decisions about coming out, is also consistently linked with suicide and depression in LGBT people.

A recent study in England, funded by the Department of Health, investigated the high risk of suicide in young LGBT people (aged 16-25). The researchers found that 25% of people did not ask for help when they were suicidal because they were hiding their sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

Out of hiding?

But this isn't something that just impacts young people - because hiding your sexual orientation or gender identity can have negative impacts throughout your whole life. Two studies funded by Marie Curie found that many older LGBT people have significant fears about palliative and end of life care services - because they are LGBT.

Respondents said they were concerned that service providers and health and social care professionals will be indifferent to their sexuality and gender identity, even actively hostile.

But despite the difficulties still experienced by many LGBT people, things are changing. Official government statistics show that nearly twice as many young people identify as LGBT than those over 25 years old. And a new study has found that more millennials are identifying as LGBT than any other age group - and it is hoped that new generations will only continue to get more progressive.

Because with more people identifying as LGBT and being open about their sexuality and gender, as well as increased awareness, it may be that at some point in the future, coming out might well become a thing of the past. And one day people might not need to come out at all, because all sexualities and genders will be celebrated as natural and normal.

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Why it's often still so difficult to be out and proud

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A few months ago, I interviewed a 19-year-old bisexual woman and asked her why she had found it so difficult to "come out". She replied: "I just had hate coming at me from all sides". It may seem odd that a young woman living in the UK has experienced hostility because of her sexual orientation.

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Matthew Todd on growing up gay: “We are strapped inside a cultural straitjacket”

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Matthew Todd thought he had long since dealt with the demons surrounding his sexuality. In this extract from his new book, he reveals the crisis of shame facing the gay community – and how to solve it

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The deadliest mass shooting to take place on American soil has left 50 people dead, including gunman Omar Mateen, at Pulse, a gay night club in Orlando. The world has reacted to the senseless tragedy with shock and grief, holding vigils and offering artistic tributes to the victims, many of whom were young Latinos.

Landmarks around the world, from One World Trade in New York and Los Angeles City Hall to the Story Bridge in Brisbane, Australia, and City Hall in Tel Aviv have been lit up in rainbow colors to commemorate victims of the shooting, while New York's Empire State Building went dark "in sympathy for the victims of last night's attack," as announced on Twitter. The Eiffel Tower has announced plans to follow suit on June 13.

In Red Hook, Brooklyn, Pioneer Works turned its regular Second Sunday event into a last-minute benefit concert for Orlando, featuring performances from the US's first LGBTQI choir, the Stonewall Chorale, which began in 1977 and now has 150 member choruses. They were followed by Alsarah and the Nubatones, who joined "out of a collective love for Nubian music and a genuine belief that Soul transcends all cultural and linguistic barriers," as they state on Second Sundays' Facebook page.

At New York's Japan Society, where curator Michael Chagnon was giving the final tour of " In the Wake: Japanese Photographers Respond to 3/11," which closed June 12, he encouraged visitors to hang a message of peace and hope on Yoko Ono 's .

On social media, the hashtag # TwoMenKissing has sprung up, in defiance of the homophobia that led to the attack.

Artists have also rallied in support of the victims and their families, with Indian sand artist Sudarsan Pattnaik taking to the beach in his native country to create a graphic sculpture with the message " OneWorld, One Message, End Terrorism." In West Hollywood, ChadMichael Morrisette recreated the carnage in a shocking piece titled " No One Is Safe," covering the roof of his home with 50 mannequins.

Hank Willis Thomas updated his Instagram account with an image of a work in progress titled Thirteen Thousand, Four Hundred and Twentynine, created for gun violence victims who died in the US in 2015. He appended his message with the hashtag #stopthekilling.

Elsewhere, many have gathered to mourn at candlelight vigils. "In the face of hate and violence, we will love one another," said President Barack Obama, addressing the country from the White House. "We will not give in to fear or turn against each other. Instead, we will stand united as Americans to protect our people and defend our nation, and to take action against those who threaten us."

See more photos of the world's response to the tragedy below.

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Art World Responds to the Orlando Attacks - artnet News

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The deadliest mass shooting to take place on American soil has left 50 people dead, including gunman Omar Mateen, at Pulse, a gay night club in Orlando. The world has reacted to the senseless tragedy with shock and grief, holding vigils and offering artistic tributes to the victims, many of whom were young Latinos.

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On the two-year mark after the Pulse nightclub shooting that left 49 dead, the City Beautiful again took time to remember Orlando's darkest hour. It's important to recount how the city came together. Countless artworks, gifts and letters were left at impromptu memorial sites across the United States, paying tribute to the Pulse victims and survivors. Orange County government and the Orange County Regional History Center have worked to collect, preserve and catalog these artifacts, and you can view them at the One Orlando Collection website, as well as at a yearlong exhibit that opened at the Orange County Regional History Center in June 2018. To highlight this special exhibit, here are 49 of those keepsakes.

View these other slideshows:

" View the previous slideshow again!

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Remembering Pulse through the heartfelt artifacts left behind

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On the two-year mark after the Pulse nightclub shooting that left 49 dead, the City Beautiful again took time to remember Orlando's darkest hour. It's important to recount how the city came together. Countless artworks, gifts and letters were left at impromptu memorial sites across the United States, paying tribute to the Pulse victims and survivors.

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The horrific mass shooting that claimed the lives of 49 people at a popular Orlando gay club on Sunday sent shockwaves across the world, hitting cities with large L.G.B.T. communities the hardest. In the past several days, countless cities have shown solidarity with Orlando, lighting buildings with the colors of the rainbow, and holding candlelight vigils in the streets. Here's how the world remembered the victims.

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How the World Mourned the Victims of the Orlando Nightclub Shooting

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The horrific mass shooting that claimed the lives of 49 people at a popular Orlando gay club on Sunday sent shockwaves across the world, hitting cities with large L.G.B.T. communities the hardest. In the past several days, countless cities have shown solidarity with Orlando, lighting buildings with the colors of the rainbow, and holding candlelight vigils in the streets.

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In the wake of the deplorable mass shooting at an Orlando nightclub on Saturday - and the deranged shooter's tenuous connection to Isis - "national security" is about to take on a renewed focus in the presidential race. But the existential threat to Americans is not some fanatical and nihilistic death cult halfway around the world: it's the fact that unstable individuals of all stripes continue to have easy access to assault weapons right here in the US.

While no one is doubting the Orlando mass murderer called 911 and pledged allegiance to Isis before continuing his senseless killing spree, the facts are much more complicated than that. Even US officials admitted: "there was no indication that [Isis] had trained or instructed him, or had any direct connection with him". As one senior US official put it to the Wall Street Journal said on Sunday: "He seems to be looking for any opportunity to associate with the terrorist group du jour." Isis quickly took advantage of the tragedy to take credit, but "they may just be piling on", a senior US official said.

Much more evidence points to the idea that he was unstable before Isis came into existence. He was reportedly a domestic abuser, according to his ex-wife, who said she thought he was mentally ill and not devoutly religious. His co-worker quit his job more than a year ago because "everything he said was toxic". "This guy was unhinged and unstable," the co-worker said, "he talked of killing people". His father said that the crime did not have anything to do with his religion and was because he was offended seeing two men kissing weeks earlier.

When the killer in these types of mass shootings is white, as the vast majority of them are, Republicans are happy to discount their extreme conservative political views as the ravings of a madman. Yet when a probably unstable American shouts "Isis", that discussion halts and it's immediately considered an act of war.

Really, mass shootings have always been a form of "terrorism", we just don't call it that because the perpetrators do not usually have a Muslim-sounding name. No matter the particularly hateful motive - whether its purported support for a terrorist organization, hatred of gay people, racism or a fanatical hostility towards abortion rights - there's one thread that connects many of these shootings: easy access to guns that facilitate killing lots of people at once.

We now know that almost all of the well-known mass shootings in the past several years - whether it was San Bernardino, the Newtown school or the Aurora movie theater - have featured one particular weapon: the AR-15, which can shoot a large quantity of ammo in short bursts. As the Washington Post noted, they have become the mass shooter's weapon of choice: "There have been eight high-profile public mass shootings since July of last year, according to a database compiled by Mother Jones magazine. Assault-style rifles were used in seven of those."

FiveThirtyEight detailed on Sunday that since 9/11 over 85% of terrorist attacks have involved guns. And as the president himself has correctly pointed out, mass shootings with no "terrorism" motive also dwarfs the number of shootings involving members of a foreign terrorist organization by orders of magnitude.

But you can count on Republicans (and some Democrats) to once again use this tragedy to push for expansive new surveillance laws instead of focusing on the instruments that have actually killed all those people. But based on early reports, this was not a situation where more spying would have helped: Mateen was a known quantity to the FBI, having been investigated twice, and the cases were dropped for lack of hard evidence.

The FBI's investigations and decision to close them will certainly be dissected over the coming days, but the Guardian's Spencer Ackerman made an important and overlooked point on Sunday: "Consider implications of keeping everyone interviewed by FBI under suspicion indefinitely, after FBI closes inquiries." Even counter-terrorism officials admit the "profound" privacy risks if the FBI starts spreading around information on closed case files to other agencies.

Lone wolf attacks are notoriously hard - and in many cases impossible - to stop, no matter what invasive laws are in place. If you have an unstable individual who is set upon destruction, doesn't tell anyone and is willing to die, there is often little recourse for law enforcement. Tragedies like these will, sooner or later, inevitably result.

As long as instruments of mass death are widely available in our country, we will continue to see many more mass shootings that kill dozens of people than the rest of the western world. It's that simple.

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If Omar Mateen were white, we'd have a different Orlando shooting narrative | Trevor Timm

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In the wake of the deplorable mass shooting at an Orlando nightclub on Saturday - and the deranged shooter's tenuous connection to Isis - "national security" is about to take on a renewed focus in the presidential race.

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On Campus

People at a memorial for the victims of the Pulse nightclub attack in Orlando, Fla. Credit... Sam Hodgson for The New York Times

ORLANDO, Fla. - A year ago today, a mass shooting during a Latin-theme dance night at Pulse, a popular gay bar in Orlando, Fla., left 49 people dead, more than 50 injured and the city - particularly its L.G.B.T. and Latino communities - shaken.

I woke up to about 60 notifications on my phone that morning. Most were from friends and family asking if I was O.K. My mother was crying, worried I had been at the club.

A drag queen from "RuPaul's Drag Race," who I love, performed there that night, so it was entirely possible. Three years before, as a freshman at the University of Central Florida, I often went to Pulse with my new college friends, all of us L.G.B.T. in one way or another and looking for a sense of community that seemed out of reach in straight daylight.

I was the editor in chief of the university's digital newspaper at the time of the shooting. (I graduated last month.) So the rest of the notifications I woke up to were from my staff. I posted a Facebook status confirming my safety, called my mom to reassure her and rushed to divvy up the day's coverage with my news team.

I remember being amazed by the swift and empathetic response from the city and much of the country. The shooting started at 2 a.m., and by the time most of the city was waking up, so many volunteers had headed downtown to help that blood donation centers were turning people away. Politicians of all stripes, including those who hadn't seemed particular pro-L.G.B.T. or supportive of Latino communities, spoke of solidarity. Rainbows were painted all over Orlando; many still remain on the walls of the Walt Disney Amphitheater at Lake Eola or on the sides of police cars.

As a gay person of color, I found something truly comforting about this response. Part of me felt accepted, understood and even coddled in the midst of this harrowing event.

Another part felt more targeted than ever.

My mom is from the Dominican Republic, where I spent most of my childhood. I speak fluent Spanish and have been known to cook a mean rice and beans with tostones. But my dad is from Pakistan, and from him I inherited a thin nose, dark eyes and a full beard of coarse hair. I am used to being treated as a suspicious person.

When I fly, for example, my Spotify playlist is usually interrupted by a T.S.A. agent letting me know I've "been selected for additional screening." At the Dominican barbershop where I get my hair cut, my barber was stunned when he heard me speak Spanish for the first time. "I thought you were one of those people who threw the bombs," he said.

This stereotyping has gotten much worse since the Pulse shooting, because despite the outpouring of support for L.G.B.T. and Latino people, the tragedy became an excuse to vilify Muslims before the 2016 presidential election.

The day of the shooting, before most of the victims were identified, Donald J. Trump, then a candidate, tweeted: "Appreciate the congrats for being right on radical Islamic terrorism." From that moment on, it was clear that the tragedy would not become a reason to champion noble or productive causes like gun reform. Instead, it would become Exhibit A in Mr. Trump's justification for a ban on Muslims entering the country - despite the fact that the shooter was an American and Muslim refugees have not killed anyone in the United States.

The national coverage linking Islam to the massacre was inescapable.

And you could feel it in Orlando. In July, a month after the tragedy, the Orlando Sentinel reported that Muslim bias had spiked in our area: A Mason-Dixon poll found that 21 percent of Central Floridians held views on Muslims that were "more negative than before the shooting."

In August, Mr. Trump's campaign set up a field office directly across the street from the Pulse memorial as the presidential candidate continued to yell about a Muslim ban.

In September, an arsonist set fire to the Kissimmee mosque where the killer's family had sometimes prayed.

According to the Council on American-Islamic Relations, incidents of bias against American Muslims increased by more than 50 percent nationwide between 2015 and 2016.

It was impossible to block it out even on campus. The administration had pledged its support to the L.G.B.T. community after the Pulse shooting, but did nothing to prevent anti-Muslim rhetoric from circulating.

For example, a video of a tenured communications professor at U.C.F. surfaced from a few years back in which he called Islam "the problem" as well as a "religion of pieces - piece of body over here, piece of body over there." He teaches a course called "Terrorism and Communication."

I interviewed this professor for the school paper, and he told me that far from regretting his word choice, he feels emboldened by his critics: The video made his book sales go up and he gets more speaking invitations when Muslim advocacy groups report on his rhetoric.

When I asked him to consider whether his words might hurt my Muslim peers on our campus, he replied, "It wouldn't make a difference to me."

Muslim students have raised concerns about this kind of speech to the U.C.F. administration to no avail. The dean of the school of communication did see a problem with his professor's insensitivity and exclusionary language. But ultimately, the dean told me, he prefers to err on the side of openness, allowing the university to be "a marketplace of ideas."

This has become a common theme - and in some ways, an understandable position for administrators. Colleges are taking heat for their supposed liberal bias; it is bad press for them to be seen as "silencing" more conservative viewpoints. But this isn't really political conservatism. Muslim students see a direct and detrimental correlation between this kind of talk and the increased threats and prejudice they experience.

This is not to say that I support censorship. I agree that listening to a variety of ideas can be enriching. But critics of students who seek to limit misleading or hateful speech rarely consider that we have experience with the consequences. Students aren't trying to block points of view we haven't heard. We are speaking out to change social narratives that we can see have devastating effects. And precisely because college campuses are bastions of free speech, we feel comfortable enough here to push back.

As was clear after the Pulse shooting, messages of solidarity by those in power speak volumes. The school could have issued a statement in support of the Muslim community on campus after the tragedy, and, in this delicate political environment, it could reconsider its commitment to professors who stoke the flames of Islamophobia.

The Pulse nightclub shooting was a terrible act of violence against a marginalized group of people. Attacking another marginalized group is not the way to prevent more shootings, or to help survivors heal.

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Opinion | A Night of Terror, a Year of Racism (Published 2017)

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On Campus ORLANDO, Fla. - A year ago today, a mass shooting during a Latin-theme dance night at Pulse, a popular gay bar in Orlando, Fla., left 49 people dead, more than 50 injured and the city - particularly its L.G.B.T. and Latino communities - shaken.

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(Reuters) - Republican Donald Trump said on Sunday the United States should consider more racial profiling, in response to a question about whether he supported greater law enforcement scrutiny of Muslim Americans after the Orlando mass shooting.

"I think profiling is something that we're going to have to start thinking about as a country," Trump told CBS' "Face the Nation."

"You look at Israel and you look at others, and they do it and they do it successfully. And you know, I hate the concept of profiling, but we have to start using common sense," he said when asked if he supported increased profiling of Muslims in America.

Trump made similar comments last December about profiling, the targeting of specific demographic groups for extra scrutiny, after a Muslim American and his wife killed 14 people in San Bernardino, California.

Last week, Trump, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee for the Nov. 8 election, sparked criticism from many in his party for his comments on American Muslims after the Orlando attack on Sunday, in which a U.S.-born Muslim man killed 49 people at a gay nightclub.

In a speech on national security on Monday, Trump stood by his call for a temporary ban on Muslims entering the United States and proposed a suspension of immigration from countries with "a proven history of terrorism."

He also said the Muslim community had to "cooperate with law enforcement and turn in the people who they know are bad."

Hillary Clinton, the presumptive Democratic nominee, has said the comments show Trump is unfit to be president.

The Florida gunman, Omar Mateen, was born in the United States to Afghan parents. During a three-hour siege at the club, he expressed support for Islamic State, but officials believe he was "self-radicalized."

In his interview on Sunday, Trump said there were "red flags" around Mateen, who had been investigated twice by the FBI but ultimately cleared.

Trump also reiterated his support for more scrutiny of mosques, saying that could resemble a controversial New York City surveillance program that has been shut down.

"If you go to France right now, they're doing it in France. In fact, in some instances they're closing down mosques," he said.

Police in France closed some mosques shortly after gunmen aligned with Islamic State militants killed 130 people in Paris in a series of attacks on Nov. 13.

House of Representatives Speaker Paul Ryan endorsed Trump but has said a Muslim ban is not in U.S. interests. In excerpts of an NBC interview released on Friday, Ryan, the top elected U.S. Republican, said Republicans weighing whether to vote for Trump should follow their "conscience."

Trump brushed off the criticism on Sunday and said he would put up his own money for his campaign if needed. "It would be nice if the Republicans stuck together," Trump said in an ABC interview. "I can win, one way or another."

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Trump says U.S. should mull more racial profiling after Orlando shooting

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(Reuters) - Republican Donald Trump said on Sunday the United States should consider more racial profiling, in response to a question about whether he supported greater law enforcement scrutiny of Muslim Americans after the Orlando mass shooting. "I think profiling is something that we're going to have to start thinking about as a country," Trump told CBS' "Face the Nation."

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A gunman carrying an assault rifle and a handgun stormed an Orlando, Fla., crowded bar early on Sunday and killed at least 50 people in what has become the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history.

U.S. law enforcement officials identified the shooter as Omar Mateen, a 29-year-old American citizen who worked as a security guard and had pledged allegiance to the Islamic State before the attack.

Police say Mateen entered Pulse nightclub around 2 a.m., exchanged fire with an off-duty police officer working security at the club, then began shooting wildly into the crowd. The shooting turned quickly into a hostage situation until police, using an armed vehicle, assaulted the club and killed Mateen.

"This was an act of terror and an act of hate," President Obama said in remarks delivered on Sunday. "The shooter targeted a night club where people came together to be with friends, to dance and to sing, and to live. The place where they were attacked is more than a nightclub. It was a place of solidarity and empowerment, where people have come together to raise awareness, to speak their minds and to advocate for their civil rights."

Within hours of the shooting, the racist right responded with attacks on the LGBT community and immigrants.

"I don't know anything about the motives or the shooter at this point, but considering how violent f--- are, it wouldn't surprise me if its [sic] a disgruntled f-- who's butt buddy went into the restroom with a different f--," a user named "Crowe" wrote on the Vanguard News Network forum just hours after the shooting. Crowe added, "[R]egardless of the shooter's motives, I'm hoping for as many casualties as possible,"

Andrew Anglin, editor and publisher of the racist website Daily Stormer, also joined in, writing on his website, "Let this be the start of the terrorist/f----- civil war."

The response also focused heavily on attacking Muslim immigrants -- a prevalent theme in the midst of a presidential campaign punctuated by calls to build a wall on the U.S. border with Mexico, as well as ban Muslims from entering the United States.

Michael Hill, president of the neo-Confederate League of the South (LOS), a group that for years has played with fantasies of becoming a paramilitary organization, voiced support for deporting Muslims and arming citizens in response.

"In a free & independent South, Islam would be banned, Muslims deported, and all mosques closed down. The ownership of firearms, including military grade, would be encouraged for all Southern citizens in order to protect the public from such incidents as occurred overnight in Orland, Florida," Hill wrote in a statement posted to the LOS website.

The shooting comes just two weeks after President Obama declared June "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month." Orlando scheduled its Pride celebration to take place next weekend.

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U.S. Racists Respond to Mass Shooting at LGBT Nightclub In Orlando

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A gunman carrying an assault rifle and a handgun stormed an Orlando, Fla., crowded bar early on Sunday and killed at least 50 people in what has become the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history. U.S.

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49 killed in Florida nightclub terror attack

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Forty-nine people were killed at Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, in what marks the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history.

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Worldwide Vigils and Memorials for Orlando Victims

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Memorials and candlelight vigils for the victims in Orlando took place in parks and plazas around the world, with citizens and government officials voicing support for the victims and their families, as monuments were lit in rainbow colors, and flags lowered to half-staff.

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Orlando shooting: Vigils held around world to honour victims

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Vigils have been held in Orlando, Florida, and around the world for the victims of Sunday's deadly gun attack on a gay nightclub. A Muslim cleric told those attending the Orlando event that Muslims stood united with them against "the ideology of hatred, death and destruction".

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Monday marks six months since a gunman killed 49 people at the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando. The gay nightclub has not reopened but visitors still stop by to remember those who died.

RACHEL MARTIN, HOST:

It has been six months since the Pulse nightclub shooting. And as the holidays approach, 49 families will celebrate without a loved one. So many lives were changed on that day. So was the city of Orlando itself. Here's Catherine Welch from member station WMFE.

CATHERINE WELCH, BYLINE: For Ramone Rivera, the shootings may have happened a while ago, but he remembers everything. It was just another Latin Night at Pulse, and he was DJing out on the patio. The club was winding down in the early hours of June 12 when a gunman entered the building and opened fire. As people started running, someone hid with Ramone behind his DJ booth.

RAMONE RIVERA: There was a pause. And at that point is when the person that was under my booth, I told him, come on, let's go, let's go, let's go.

WELCH: He made it out safely, but some of his friends didn't. For weeks afterwards, he didn't leave his house. And for a long time, Rivera couldn't sleep. When he did, there were nightmares. He still has some trouble sleeping. The shooting at the gay nightclub may have happened six months ago, but the pain still lingers. Terry DeCarlo has symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder and remains in counseling. DeCarlo heads an organization that's a focal point for the LGBT community. He was at the hospital that morning, helping families and survivors.

TERRY DECARLO: To see the moms, to see the families running down the street screaming their child's name, trying to find out where their child is, it's just - it's something I would never wish on anybody.

WELCH: Healing in the community has been slow, he says. It was months before people could head back to the clubs, and now they're confronted with metal detectors. Before the shooting, when he would travel out of state, people used to ask him about Disney, Epcot and SeaWorld. Now, the questions are about Pulse, and he's greeted differently around town, too.

DECARLO: In Orlando, you don't shake hands anymore; you hug. You put your hand out to somebody to shake their hand, and they say, oh, no, we hug.

WELCH: Hugs help, but healing takes time, says Elaine Miller-Karas, who runs the Trauma Resource Institute.

ELAINE MILLER-KARAS: Actually, sometimes people start having some really difficult symptoms right about now. It's kind of like there's a shock that wears off.

WELCH: The institute worked with San Bernardino County after the mass shooting in California and will help Orlando residents with lingering symptoms of depression and PTSD. Healing, for many, includes a visit to the dark-gray Pulse nightclub, which has been closed since the shooting. It sits behind a fence, covered in brightly painted banners that are covered in handwritten messages. There are also strings of beads and lots of candles and photos and flowers. There's hardly a moment when someone isn't there. Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer visits every week.

BUDDY DYER: It's hard, especially when you come back out to Pulse, to reimagine the tragedy happening.

WELCH: Dyer is still trying to understand what happened. He knows the shooting has made Orlando a more compassionate city.

DYER: And I think people aren't afraid to recognize people for who they are. I think there is a lot more acceptance that people can live a different lifestyle than what you live, and that's OK.

WELCH: Dyer wanted the city to buy the property and turn it into a memorial, but the club's owner just couldn't sell it. She wants to honor those who died, but doesn't know how yet. For NPR News, I'm Catherine Welch in Orlando.

Copyright © 2016 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR's programming is the audio record.

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Effects Of Pulse Nightclub Shooting Linger In Orlando

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Monday marks six months since a gunman killed 49 people at the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando. The gay nightclub has not reopened but visitors still stop by to remember those who died. RACHEL MARTIN, HOST: It has been six months since the Pulse nightclub shooting.

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The Gunman

Images Omar Mateen submitted to a Florida agency for his work as a security guard. Top, from left, in 2007 and 2009, and bottom, 2011 and 2013. Credit... via Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services

ORLANDO, Fla. - The brother of the bride arrived late for her reception. But soon enough he was mingling at the lakeside pavilion in West Palm Beach, where a diverse gathering of guests dined on chicken tikka masala and goat biryani while admiring the view of the Intracoastal Waterway just beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows.

Then came the moment to join in a traditional Afghan dance called the attan, in which dancers form a circle and are led through a series of synchronized turns and moves. If well executed, the attan can create an almost trancelike sense of oneness.

But here was the bride's brother - stocky, bespectacled Omar Mateen - dancing in the group and yet dancing apart. Clumsy, out of sync, his head mostly down, the man dressed in black was following his own rhythm.

Four months after this celebration of life in February, the awkward man in black caused wholesale death. Chuckling and declaring allegiance to the Islamic State, he opened fire at a gay and Latino nightclub here, leaving 49 people dead and wounding 53 others before he was killed by the police to end a protracted standoff.

The massacre at the Pulse nightclub early last Sunday stands as the deadliest mass shooting by one person in United States history.

Rising amid the international grief is the aching and obvious question of why. But the short life of Mr. Mateen, who was 29, provides no easy road map to motivation.

He had shown occasional flashes of interest in radical Islam, enough to be investigated twice by the F.B.I. in recent years for possible extremist ties.

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Omar Mateen's elementary school photos in third and fourth grade. Credit... via St. Lucie Public Schools

But his professed embrace of the Islamic State and its call for disaffected Muslims to attack the West seem to have come suddenly, as if something snapped. And while some reports have suggested that he was gay, federal officials say they have found no evidence in his effects or online presence to back them up.

Instead, the recollections of those who knew or encountered him conjure a man who could be charming, even laid-back, yet who also seemed forever aggrieved, forever not at peace, forever out of step. A chubby kid making inappropriate jokes about 9/11 in the fresh wake of that catastrophe. A leering misogynist whose pursuits could rattle women. An off-putting employee who spoke casually of killing those who offended him. The security guard and wannabe cop whose scattershot anger made others feel unsafe.

"He was just agitated about everything," Daniel Gilroy, a former co-worker in the security business, recalled. "Always shaken. Always agitated. Always mad."

Omar Mateen was that chunky kid with glasses, remembered more for his scrapes with other classmates than for his academic performance. Early on, the same schoolboy who could wear a broad smile and a Power Rangers T-shirt in his school portrait could also engage in "much talk about violence & sex," according to a school assessment.

A first-generation American, he was born in New York City's melting-pot borough of Queens in 1986, and moved about four years later with his Afghan parents to Port St. Lucie in Florida, where he was quickly enrolled in an English for Speakers of Other Languages program.

His father, Seddique Mateen, a refugee who became a naturalized American citizen, was a financial broker whose savvy investments allowed for a comfortable home appointed with tasteful furniture and expensive silk rugs. His wife, Shahla, stayed mostly in the background, while he set a tone of cultural conservatism, especially when it came to his three other children, all accomplished women. The son, though, enjoyed male privilege.

The family assimilated. But as the United States became mired in the protracted war in Afghanistan, the elder Mr. Mateen became torn between his native and adopted homes. Over the years, he would become more politically active to a point of apparent delusion, posting videos, for example, of himself in military uniform, pretending to be Afghanistan's president.

For his children, family friends say, this meant navigating a fractured world in which their Afghan roots and Muslim faith could lead to divisiveness and ostracism. Two friends say that the Mateen children feared any perceived link to Islamic extremism, and so began saying, simply, that they were Persian.

Omar Mateen was a disciplinary challenge in school, unafraid to push buttons. "Constantly moving, verbally abusive, rude, aggressive," that school assessment noted. In the third grade, his rendition of the school song at Mariposa Elementary replaced "Mariposa, Mariposa" with "marijuana, marijuana."

The boy was formally disciplined more than 30 times in elementary and middle schools as he pursued attention and occasional conflict rather than his studies. His father would later say that young Omar preferred drawing pictures in class to listening, which seems borne out by an assessment one of his teachers wrote at the time:

"Unfortunately, Omar had great difficulty focusing on his classwork since he often seeks the attention of his classmates through some sort of noise, disruption, or distraction."

So was Omar Mateen betraying his latent extremist sympathies - or was he just being tone-deaf - when, at 14, he shocked other students on his school bus by imitating an exploding plane so soon after the Sept. 11 attacks?

"He got on, walked up the first couple of steps, held his arms out and made sounds like a motor and then made an explosion sound - and slipped into his seat," Robert Zirkle, another student on the bus, remembered. "He did this three or four times, and was clearly not in the mood or the same state of mind that we were in. He seemed excited."

His unsettling pantomimes ended when others told him there would be problems if he continued.

Omar cycled through three high schools, collecting a string of suspensions - for fighting and other infractions - along the way. (In one case, a charge of battery was adjudicated and a charge of disturbing school function was dropped, he later wrote to a potential employer. "This was an experience of me growing up and I learned a big lesson from it.")

Martin Bielicki, a former dean of students at Martin County High School, remembered in an email that this student "had issues with other students, in particular," and "always would argue back and even defend himself."

"I remember Omar as a 14-year-old boy," Mr. Bielicki wrote. "I look at that yearbook picture of him and it brings back memories of an innocent and likable young man."

Omar matured with time. He took up soccer and skateboarding, became infatuated with weight lifting, and shed the flabbiness that had become a source of ridicule.

His father, Seddique Mateen, spoke to reporters last week. Credit... Sam Hodgson for The New York Times

He became so muscular that a friend, Sean Chagani, once asked him whether he was taking steroids. Recalled Mr. Chagani: "He kind of smirked and asked, 'Can you tell?'"

The Mateen boy was more awkward than most teenagers, he recalled, but the two managed to find common ground. They played basketball, competed in video games and swam in the Chagani family's pool.

"I had plenty of friends growing up that I would consider kind of odd, and he was one of them," Mr. Chagani said. "But certainly not aggressive, violent, homophobic, etc."

Omar secured after-school jobs here and there, including at a Publix grocery store, and improved so strikingly in the classroom that he graduated from Stuart Adult Community High School in April 2003 in the top half of his class - at the age of 16.

He moved from one low-level job to the next: a cashier and cook at a Chick-fil-A, a cashier at a Walgreens, a cashier at a Nutrition World, a floor watcher at a Gold's Gym, a sales clerk at a GNC vitamin and supplement store. All the while, though, he was attending a community college, working toward an associate degree in criminal justice technology.

His passion, it seems, was in law enforcement: Omar Mateen saw himself in uniform, buff and armed.

In May 2005, the 18-year-old requested to go on a ride-along with a St. Lucie County deputy sheriff. But the ride that took place after he passed a background check now seems enveloped in an air of foreboding. The deputy sheriff's car crashed, and the teenager was taken to a hospital to be checked out.

After earning his degree, Mr. Mateen applied for an officer's job with the Florida Department of Corrections, bolstering his application with an impressive letter of recommendation from Officer Steven J. Brown of the Port St. Lucie Police. "I would sleep soundly at night knowing that a person like Omar is protecting us."

The young man's dream was conditionally realized when he was sworn in as a Corrections Department employee and assigned as a trainee to the Martin Correctional Institution in Indiantown, not far from where he grew up. Four months in, he seemed on his way to a career in law enforcement, having received an evaluation of meeting expectations - of having the makings of one day becoming a "good correctional officer."

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Everything We Know About Omar Mateen

An updated video on Mr. Mateen's background, marriages and his possible motives behind the deadly attack in Orlando, Fla.

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An updated video on Mr. Mateen's background, marriages and his possible motives behind the deadly attack in Orlando, Fla.

But six months in, Mr. Mateen was fired. The unsettling reasons were revealed in documents released by the Department of Corrections on Friday.

An officer reported in a memorandum that during training Mr. Mateen had laughingly asked him "if he was to bring a gun to school would I tell anybody." He posed his question on April 14, 2007, two days before a student named Seung-Hui Cho shot and killed 32 people and wounded 17 others on the campus of Virginia Tech.

Mr. Mateen's joke, if that is what it was, coupled with his penchant for sleeping in class and being absent without permission, prompted the warden, Powell H. Skipper, to recommend his termination.

"In light of recent tragic events at Virginia Tech, Officer Mateen's inquiry about bringing a weapon to class is at best extremely disturbing," Mr. Skipper wrote at the time.

Denied the right to wear one uniform, Mr. Mateen soon dressed in another - that of a security guard. He completed a training course, passed a background check, and began working for a security firm called G4S. At one point, perhaps as part of a G4S contract, he was working as an intake officer at a Florida juvenile assessment center. At another point, he was providing security after the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico in April 2010, during which an undercover documentarian recorded a few of his cynical observations.

"No one gives a shit here, like everyone is just out to get paid," he is recorded as saying. "They're like hoping for more oil to come out and more people to complain so they'll have the jobs. Because once people get laid off here, it's going to suck for them. They want more disaster to happen because that's where their moneymaking is."

Life continued. He had connected online with a young woman named Sitora Yusufiy, an immigrant from Uzbekistan, who initially found him to be a nice, funny man who treated his family well and had aspirations of becoming a police officer. He was religious - he made at least two Islamic pilgrimages to Saudi Arabia - but he never expressed sympathy for radical Islamists or terrorists, she said. And, yes, he could be homophobic.

Soon after their marriage in April 2009, Ms. Yusufiy said, he began beating her and isolating her in their Florida home. With the help of her parents in New Jersey, she fled within the year.

The next year, he was married again, to a woman he met online, this time to Noor Salman, in Rodeo, Calif., though he cultivated the persona of a man with a wandering eye.

Mr. Mateen used a dating website to seek a relationship with a woman in Fort Pierce. He churned through usernames - "makeitlovelylol" among them - and lied about his age, according to the woman, who requested anonymity but who provided photos that she had saved from his dating profile.

At one point, she said, Mr. Mateen's pursuit veered toward stalking. He began messaging her to say he was nearby. He knew the color of her car and the general location of her place of employment.

Other hints of a disturbed mind continued to emerge. In 2013, G4S removed Mr. Mateen from his security post at the St. Lucie County Courthouse after he had made "inflammatory comments" about being involved somehow in terrorism. Though far-fetched and even contradictory - he claimed connections to Al Qaeda, the Sunni extremist group, and ties to its near opposite, the Shiite Hezbollah - his comments were troubling enough for the county sheriff's office to notify the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

The bureau's subsequent inquiry was inconclusive.

The next year, Mr. Mateen again attracted federal scrutiny, after an acquaintance from his mosque, the Islamic Center of Fort Pierce, carried out a suicide bombing in Syria. According to F.B.I. Director James B. Comey, federal investigators concluded that Mr. Mateen knew the bomber only casually.

The mosque's imam, Syed Shafeeq Rahman, insisted that Mr. Mateen had never heard teachings at the mosque that would have radicalized him. "There is nothing that he is hearing from me to do killing, to do bloodshed, to do anything, because we never talk like that," the imam said.

By the end of 2014, Mr. Mateen - the bodybuilder who had once imagined a respected future in law enforcement - was working the guard's booth at the entrance to PGA Village, a golf resort community in Port St. Lucie. But even in this low-pressure position, he managed to unnerve and upset, especially when he seemed to think that he had been disrespected.

Heath Holtzclaw, who worked security at PGA Village a few years ago, has not forgotten how enraged Mr. Mateen became when he thought someone had given him an attitude. "You could tell he wanted to say something to whoever he felt had slighted him, but he never did," Mr. Holtzclaw said. "He just slammed things around."

Mr. Mateen would make people wait at the gate, sometimes causing delays, if he felt he had been disrespected, or if it was time for him to do his prayers.

Jasmine Kalenuik, a frequent visitor to PGA Village, came to dread encountering the guard at the gate - who, she said, "acted like a straight-up predator."

"When I would go to grab my ID from his hand, he would cling to it and try to pull it back," Ms. Kalenuik, 31, recalled. "He would hover over my car window and lean way in while breathing heavy on me with his teeth so clenched that you could see his jaw muscles sticking out."

Ms. Kalenuik's husband, Jerry, recently confronted the security guard, nearly nose to nose. But Mr. Mateen betrayed no emotion during the angry encounter.

"It was like I was staring into the eyes of Ted Bundy," Mr. Kalenuik, 27, said. "I was irate but he seemed completely detached."

After that, he said, Mr. Mateen would grant him and his wife a curt nod as they passed through the checkpoint, but never looked them in the eye.

Finally, it seems, rage consumed the man. Over what - infidels, gays, society's failure to grant him proper deference, all of it - remains unclear.

His father has suggested that Mr. Mateen was incensed by the sight of two men kissing in front of his young son, whose bedroom was chock-full with all things Disney, all things America: a Spider-Man helmet and bicycle, a Star Wars backpack, Star Wars drapes, a chair in the likeness of Tow Mater from "Cars," and not one but three Mickey Mouses.

Earlier this month, legally and with little wait, the man rejected by law enforcement purchased a Glock 9mm handgun and a SIG Sauer MCX military-style rifle.

Then, early last Sunday morning, he carried his recent purchases into the Pulse nightclub, where hundreds of people were drinking and dancing and celebrating life, the way families do at weddings. And, following his own rhythm, he began to shoot.

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'Always Agitated. Always Mad': Omar Mateen, According to Those Who Knew Him (Published 2016)

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The Gunman ORLANDO, Fla. - The brother of the bride arrived late for her reception. But soon enough he was mingling at the lakeside pavilion in West Palm Beach, where a diverse gathering of guests dined on chicken tikka masala and goat biryani while admiring the view of the Intracoastal Waterway just beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows.

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omar mateen: orlando gunman made surveillance trips to disney complex

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Evan Perez, Shimon Prokupecz and Holly Yan, CNN

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Omar Mateen: Gunman scouted Disney complex, Pulse, official says

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Authorities believe the gunman who killed 49 people at Orlando's Pulse nightclub conducted surveillance trips at the club and a Disney complex this month, a law enforcement official said.

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Reports that Orlando gunman Omar Mateen had been a regular at the gay nightclub he attacked and used gay dating apps have led to speculation that he was motivated by internalised homophobia. But what is it, and could it have anything to do with the worst shooting in recent US history?

Investigators are still trying to establish what led a 29-year-old security guard from Florida to murder 49 people and injure dozens more as they partied in popular gay nightclub Pulse.

They are examining indications Mateen was inspired by radical Islamism, following revelations that he pledged allegiance to the Islamic State group and the FBI had investigated him twice previously for terror links.

Mateen's father also suggested his son had harboured strong anti-gay views, fuelling many people's belief that the attack was motivated by violent homophobia.

But as more information emerges about the killer's history, a more complicated picture is developing. Witnesses said Mateen had visited the Pulse club as a guest several times over the past three years and interacted with men on gay dating apps. His ex-wife, Sitora Yusufiy, told CNN it was possible he had hidden feelings about being gay.

It has led experts to question whether the gunman was spurred on - at least in part - by a powerful self-loathing about his own sexuality. Could he have been driven to hate and hurt others because he hated himself?

"Although it is not common, it's not unheard of for people to be violent to other people who are LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) as part of overcompensating for something that they are struggling with themselves," says Genevieve Weber, who has specialised in counselling people affected by internalised homophobia and now teaches counselling at Hofstra University in New York.

"It's could be part of the notion, 'If I differentiate myself enough, I can't be gay'."

Definitions of internalised homophobia vary, but it is essentially when LGBT individuals encounter negative beliefs in society towards the LGBT community, absorb those beliefs and accept them to be true.

Researchers say it happens involuntarily, and while Mateen would be a very extreme example, it is an issue that affects many LGBT individuals at some time in their lives.

"It's a really simple concept unfortunately," says Ilan Meyer, a senior scholar for public policy and sexual orientation law at the University of California, Los Angeles. "All members of society are taught about conventions. We learn about stigma and prejudices about certain groups from a very young age.

"So when a person begins to recognise that he or she is gay or lesbian, there is already that negativity."

Messages about homosexuality can come from multiple places, including family, school and the media, experts say.

Intolerance can be covertly communicated, perhaps through slurs or pejorative statements such as "that's so gay", or overtly, such as bullying or anti-gay teachings in religions that do not accept LGBT rights.

"There are many religions that are not homophobic," says Meyer. "But in some cases, when you are religious and you hear negative messages repeatedly from people who are the most valued in your community it is going to be a very painful lesson.

"Certainly in the evangelical Christian community in the US, for example, if you went to church every week you could learn horrible things."

Sohail Ahmed, a young Muslim man from London, says his struggles with his own sexuality led him to become increasingly extreme in his religious views - to the extent that he even considered staging a terrorist attack.

"I would research all these Islamic verdicts on what you should do if you have homosexual feelings," he told the BBC's World Service.

"One thing would keep coming up again and again was that you need to be more religious, worship more.

"It sounds really paradoxical... but I actually became more radical in an attempt to cure myself of homosexuality."

Ahmed says he hid his true sexuality from everyone he knew, and even began to believe he was "evil".

"I started thinking maybe I was gay as a punishment from God for something I had done. It was an absolutely horrifying feeling - waking up every day with this voice at the back of your head saying you're disgusting, you're evil.

"It was this endless cycle. It just increased my hatred for myself and other gay people. It was extremely destructive."

Ahmed later denounced his extremist views and now helps others turn away from radicalism. He has come out as gay and follows a progressive branch of Islam that accepts LGBT people.

But experts warn that internalised homophobia can also have a harmful impact on a person's mental health. It can cause depression and anxiety, leave people feeling unable to form intimate relationships, and lead them to make unsafe choices.

"Internalised homophobia is not in itself a mental health problem, but it causes mental health problems," says Meyer.

"Certainly if you're dealing with that very hard period to accept yourself, it is very stressful. It can lead to drug or alcohol abuse. You might use drugs during sex to numb yourself to what you're doing."

People affected need to understand it is a condition that can be worked through, says Genevieve Weber.

"With the right help from a counsellor or someone that really understands, people can be brought to the point where they love themselves and realise there is a whole community who will support them."

Both Weber and Meyer say educating society as a whole is crucial to enabling people to avoid developing internalised homophobia and its potentially damaging effects.

"School environments need to not only be accepting, but also teach kids about gay and lesbian society," says Meyer. He also encourages anyone who might be struggling with their sexuality to look for positive stories and images online.

Weber says it is important that the right help is at hand. "It's about having people in roles where they are showing acceptance, and ensuring that you have clinicians trained in understanding the issues who are accessible to people."

It is not yet known for certain whether Mateen experienced internalised homophobia - and whether he ever tried to get support.

For his part, Meyer says there is not enough research to prove a direct link between internalised homophobia and violent behaviour.

"But I know that Mateen would not be the first person to display homophobia internally and externally."

Examples could include instances where conservative, anti-LGBT politicians have been "outed" by the media as gay or lesbian, he says.

But when it comes to the Orlando gunman, this is one of many questions that remain unanswered.

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Did internalised homophobia spark Orlando nightclub attack?

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Reports that Orlando gunman Omar Mateen had been a regular at the gay nightclub he attacked and used gay dating apps have led to speculation that he was motivated by internalised homophobia. But what is it, and could it have anything to do with the worst shooting in recent US history?

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History of Violence Against the LGBTQ+ Community in the United States

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History of Violence Against the LGBTQ+ Community in the United States

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History of violence against LGBT people in the United States - Wikipedia

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The history of violence against LGBT people in the United States is made up of assaults on gay men, lesbians, bisexual, transgender, and intersex individuals ( LGBTQI), legal responses to such violence, and hate crime statistics in the United States of America.

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Orlando Shooting was the second deadliest terror attack carried out by a single gunman since the events of 9/11.

"It is the deadliest incident in the history of violence against LGBT people in the United States, as well as the deadliest terrorist attack in the U.S. since the September 11 attacks in 2001"

- via Wikipedia

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Mass shootings are incidents involving multiple victims of firearm-related violence. The precise inclusion criteria are disputed, and there is no broadly accepted definition. One definition is an act of public firearm violence-excluding gang killings, domestic violence, or terrorist acts sponsored by an organization-in which a shooter kills at least four victims. Using this definition, one study found that nearly one-third of the world's public mass shootings between 1966 and 2012 (90 of 292 incidents) occurred in the United States. Using a similar definition, The Washington Post records 163 mass shootings in the United States between 1967 and June 2019.

Gun Violence Archive, frequently cited by the press, defines a mass shooting as firearm violence resulting in at least four people being shot at roughly the same time and location, excluding the perpetrator. Using this definition, there have been 2,128 mass shootings since 2013, roughly one per day.

According to some studies, the United States has had more mass shootings than any other country. Shooters generally either die by suicide afterwards or are restrained or killed by law enforcement officers or civilians. However, mass shootings accounted for less than 0.2% of all homicides in the United States between 2000 and 2016.

There is no fixed definition of a mass shooting in the United States. The Investigative Assistance for Violent Crimes Act of 2012, signed into law in January 2013, defines a "mass killing" as one resulting in at least 3 victims, excluding the perpetrator. In 2015, the Congressional Research Service does not define a mass shooting but does define a public mass shooting-for the purposes of its report entitled "Mass Murder with Firearms"-as "a multiple homicide incident in which four or more victims are murdered with firearms, within one event, and in one or more locations in close proximity". The CRS further states that its report "attempts to refine the relatively broad concept of mass shooting [...] into a narrower formulation: public mass shootings." A broader definition, as used by the Gun Violence Archive, is that of "4 or more shot or killed, not including the shooter". This definition, of four people shot regardless of whether or not that results in injury or death, is often used by the media, press, and non-profit organizations.

Some studies indicate that the rate at which public mass shootings occur has tripled since 2011. Between 1982 and 2011, a mass shooting occurred roughly once every 200 days. However, between 2011 and 2014, that rate has accelerated greatly with at least one mass shooting occurring every 64 days in the United States.

In recent years, the number of public mass shootings has increased substantially, although there has been an approximately 50% decrease in firearm homicides in the nation overall since 1993. The decrease in firearm homicides has been attributed to better policing, a better economy and environmental factors such as the removal of lead from gasoline.

Differing sources

A comprehensive report by tracked all mass killings from 2006 through 2017 in which the perpetrator willfully killed 4 or more people. For mass killings by firearm for instance, it found 271 incidents with a total of 1,358 victims. Mother Jones listed seven mass shootings, defined as indiscriminate rampages in public places resulting in four or more victims killed, in the U.S. for 2015. An analysis by Michael Bloomberg's gun violence prevention group, Everytown for Gun Safety, identified 110 mass shootings, defined as shootings in which at least four people were murdered with a firearm, between January 2009 and July 2014; at least 57% were related to domestic or family violence.

Other media outlets have reported that hundreds of mass shootings take place in the United States in a single calendar year, citing a crowd-funded website known as Shooting Tracker which defines a mass shooting as having four or more people injured or killed. In December 2015, The Washington Post reported that there had been 355 mass shootings in the United States so far that year. In August 2015, The Washington Post reported that the United States was averaging one mass shooting per day. An earlier report had indicated that in 2015 alone, there had been 294 mass shootings that killed or injured 1,464 people. Shooting Tracker and Mass Shooting Tracker, the two sites that the media have been citing, have been criticized for using a broader criteria-counting four victims injured as a mass shooting-thus producing much higher figures.

According to The New York Times, the majority of perpetrators they have published stories about are white males who act alone. According to most analyses and studies, the proportion of mass shooters in the United States who are white is slightly less than the proportion of white people in the general population of the U.S., however the proportion of male mass shooters is considerably greater than the proportion of males.

Several possible factors may work together to create a fertile environment for mass murder in the United States. Most commonly suggested include:

Higher accessibility and ownership of guns. The US has the highest per-capita gun ownership in the world with 120.5 firearms per 100 people; the second highest is Yemen with 52.8 firearms per 100 people.

Mental illness and its treatment (or the lack thereof) with psychiatric drugs. This is controversial. Many of the mass shooters in the U.S. suffered from mental illness, but the estimated number of mental illness cases has not increased as significantly as the number of mass shootings.

The desire to seek revenge for a long history of being bullied at school and/or at the workplace. In recent years, citizens calling themselves "targeted individual" have cited adult bullying campaigns as a reason for their deadly violence.

The widespread chronic gap between people's expectations for themselves and their actual achievement, and individualistic culture. Some analysts and commentators place the blame on contemporary capitalism and neoliberalism.

Desire for fame and notoriety. Also, mass shooters learn from one another through "media contagion," that is, "the mass media coverage of them and the proliferation of social media sites that tend to glorify the shooters and downplay the victims."

Failure of government background checks due to incomplete databases and/or staff shortages.

A panel of mental health and law enforcement experts has estimated that roughly one-third of acts of mass violence-defined as crimes in which four or more people were killed-since the 1990s were committed by people with a serious mental illness. However, the study emphasized that people with serious mental illness are responsible for less than 4% of all the violent acts committed in the United States.

Several types of guns have been used in mass shootings in the United States. A 2014 study conducted by Dr. James Fox of 142 shootings found that 88 (62%) were committed with handguns of all types; 68 (48%) with semi-automatic handguns, 20 (14%) with revolvers, 35 (25%) with semi-automatic rifles, and 19 (13%) with shotguns. The study was conducted using the Mother Jones database of mass shootings from 1982 to 2018. High capacity magazines were used in approximately half of mass shootings. Semi-automatic rifles have been used in six of the ten deadliest mass shooting events.

The following mass shootings are the deadliest to have occurred in modern U.S. history (1949 to present). Only incidents with ten or more victim fatalities are included. The death tolls reflect the numbers given by police in the days after the shootings.

Was previously the deadliest mass shooting

Incident

Year

Location

Deaths

Injuries

Type of firearm(s) used

Ref(s)

1
Las Vegas shooting
2017
Paradise, Nevada
61 (plus 1 perp.)[fn 1]

869 (413 from gunfire)

Semi-automatic rifles (some outfitted with bump stocks), bolt-action rifle, and revolver

2

Orlando nightclub shooting

2016
Orlando, Florida
49 (plus 1 perp.)

58 (53 from gunfire)

Semi-automatic rifle and pistol

3

Virginia Tech shooting

2007
Blacksburg, Virginia
32 (plus 1 perp.)

23 (17 from gunfire)

Semi-automatic pistols

[64]

4
Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting
2012
Newtown, Connecticut
27 (plus 1 perp.)

2

Semi-automatic rifle and pistol

[64]

5
Sutherland Springs church shooting
2017
Sutherland Springs, Texas
26 (plus 1 perp.)[fn 2]

20

Semi-automatic rifle

6

Luby's shooting

1991
Killeen, Texas
23 (plus 1 perp.)

27

Semi-automatic pistols

[64]

7
El Paso Walmart shooting
2019
El Paso, Texas
23[fn 3]

23

Semi-automatic rifle

8

San Ysidro McDonald's massacre

1984
San Diego, California
21 (plus 1 perp.)

19

Semi-automatic carbine, pistols, and shotgun

[64]

9
Stoneman Douglas High School shooting
2018
Parkland, Florida
17

17

Semi-automatic rifle

[71]

10

University of Texas tower shooting

1966
Austin, Texas
16 (plus 1 perp.)[fn 2][fn 4]

32

Bolt-action rifle, semi-automatic carbine, revolver, semi-automatic pistols, and pump-action shotgun

[64]

11
Edmond post office shooting
1986
Edmond, Oklahoma
14 (plus 1 perp.)

6

Semi-automatic pistols

[64]

San Bernardino attack
2015
San Bernardino, California
14 (plus 2 perps.)

24

Semi-automatic rifles

Fort Hood shooting
2009
Killeen, Texas
14[fn 2]

32 (plus 1 perp.)

Semi-automatic pistol and revolver

14

Camden shootings

1949
Camden, New Jersey
13

3

Semi-automatic pistol

Wilkes-Barre shootings
1982
Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
13

1

Semi-automatic rifle

Wah Mee massacre
1983
Seattle, Washington
13

1

Semi-automatic pistol(s) and/or revolver(s)[fn 5]

[79]

Columbine High School massacre
1999
Columbine, Colorado
13 (plus 2 perps.)

24 (21 from gunfire)

Semi-automatic carbine, semi-automatic pistol, shotguns

[80]

Binghamton shootings
2009
Binghamton, New York
13 (plus 1 perp.)

4

Semi-automatic pistols

[81]

19
Atlanta shootings
1999

Stockbridge and Atlanta, Georgia

12 (plus 1 perp.)

13

Pistol

Aurora theater shooting
2012
Aurora, Colorado
12

70 (58 from gunfire)

Semi-automatic rifle, pistol, and shotgun

Washington Navy Yard shooting
2013
Washington, D.C.
12 (plus 1 perp.)

8 (3 from gunfire)

Semi-automatic pistol and shotgun

Thousand Oaks shooting
2018
Thousand Oaks, California
12 (plus 1 perp.)

16 (1 from gunfire)

Semi-automatic pistol

Virginia Beach shooting
2019
Virginia Beach, Virginia
12 (plus 1 perp.)

4

Semi-automatic pistols

[88]

24
Easter Sunday massacre
1975
Hamilton, Ohio
11

0

Semi-automatic pistols and revolver

[89]

Pittsburgh synagogue shooting
2018
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
11

6 (plus 1 perp.)

Semi-automatic rifle, semi-automatic pistols

[90]

26
Palm Sunday massacre
1984
Brooklyn, New York
10

0

Semi-automatic pistols

[91]

Geneva County massacre
2009
Geneva County, Alabama
10 (plus 1 perp.)

6

Semi-automatic rifles, revolver, and shotgun

Santa Fe High School shooting
2018
Santa Fe, Texas
10

14 (plus 1 perp.)

Shotgun and revolver

[94]

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Mass shootings are incidents involving multiple victims of firearm-related violence. The precise inclusion criteria are disputed, and there is no broadly accepted definition.

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Orlando Gunman buys gun Legally While on Terror Watchlist

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Orlando Gunman buys gun Legally While on Terror Watchlist

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Orlando Shooter Bought Gun Legally, Store Owner Says

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The owner of the shooting range where Orlando shooter Omar Mateen bought the weapons he used says he bought both weapons legally.

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transcript

F.B.I. Searches for Orlando Terror Ties

James B. Comey Jr., the director of the F.B.I., said that there had not been any indication that the the massacre in Orlando, Fla. was part of a foreign-directed plot.

James Comey, Director of the FBI: "We are going through the killer's life, as I said, especially his electronics, to understand as much as we can about his path and whether there was anyone else involved - either in directing him or in assisting him. So far, we see no indication that this was a plot directed from outside the United States and we see no indication that he was part of any kind of network. It is also not entirely clear at this point just what terrorist group he aspired to support, although he made clear of his affinity at the time of the attack for ISIL (an alternative acronym for the Islamic State group, or IS), and generally leading up to the attack for radical Islamist groups."

James B. Comey Jr., the director of the F.B.I., said that there had not been any indication that the the massacre in Orlando, Fla. was part of a foreign-directed plot. Credit Credit... Stephen Crowley/The New York Times

WASHINGTON - The F.B.I. director said on Monday that the gunman in the mass killing in Orlando was on a terrorist watchlist from 2013 to 2014, but that months of intense investigation into his foreign travels, his inflammatory language with co-workers and his possible motivations did not produce enough evidence to arrest him.

The director, James B. Comey Jr., defended his agency's handling of its past inquiries into the gunman, Omar Mateen, telling reporters that there had been no indication that F.B.I. agents in Florida missed any chances to apprehend or prosecute Mr. Mateen before the deadly rampage in which he proclaimed his allegiance to the Islamic State.

The attack highlighted the difficulty the American government faces in addressing the threat from the terrorist group. Unlike Al Qaeda, which favored highly organized and planned operations, the Islamic State has encouraged anyone to take up arms in its name. Often, that means the F.B.I. is looking to identify people who have committed no crime.

Once the F.B.I. closes an investigation, agents are required to remove the targets from terrorism watchlists. That rule is intended to prevent the United States from keeping secretive, open-ended watchlists based on suspicions that are ultimately unfounded.

In 2009, the Justice Department inspector general criticized the F.B.I. for not moving quickly enough to purge those lists.

But for the F.B.I., which also investigated one of the brothers who carried out the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013 before the attack, its dealings with Mr. Mateen once again threaten to raise questions about its ability to effectively intercept terrorist threats - or even suspects who have made it onto the bureau's radar before.

Donald J. Trump, the presumptive Republican nominee for president, speaking in a television interview on Monday, blamed "terrible intelligence gathering" for the attack. Mr. Comey curtly declined to comment on the criticism when asked about it.

While Mr. Comey promised a full review of the F.B.I.'s interactions with Mr. Mateen, he said that so far, "I don't see anything in reviewing our work that our agents should have done differently."

Mr. Mateen seems to have been "inspired" and "radicalized" by the Islamic State's radical ideology, Mr. Comey said, but he did not appear to have received support from anyone overseas or from others in the United States based on the evidence to date. That "lone wolf" approach made it much more difficult to head off the attack, he said.

The F.B.I.'s most intense investigation into Mr. Mateen came in a 10-month span beginning in the spring of 2013, Mr. Comey said.

Co-workers at the security firm where Mr. Mateen worked reported that he had made incendiary comments claiming connections to overseas terrorists, including Al Qaeda and Hezbollah, saying he hoped that the F.B.I. would raid his family's home so that he could "martyr" himself.

The F.B.I. opened an investigation, putting Mr. Mateen on a terrorist watchlist for nearly a year.

F.B.I. agents in Florida used multiple investigative tools, including an undercover informant who made contact with the suspect, wiretapping his conversations, and pulling personal and financial records on him.

They also sought help from Saudi intelligence officials to determine whether Mr. Mateen had contact with any known terrorist suspects during his travels for the umrah in 2011 and 2012.

For Muslims, the umrah is one of the sacred pilgrimages to Mecca, the holy city in Saudi Arabia. Unlike the annual pilgrimage known as the hajj, the umrah can be made at any time of year. More than 11,000 Americans make pilgrimages to Mecca each year, and Mr. Comey said the F.B.I. found no "derogatory" information about Mr. Mateen's trips.

Investigators interviewed Mr. Mateen twice in person as part of the investigation. While he acknowledged making the incendiary remarks to his co-workers, he maintained he had made the comments "in anger" because he was upset about his colleagues ridiculing his Muslim background, Mr. Comey said. Unable to determine that he had planned violence, the F.B.I. closed the investigation and took his name off the terrorist watchlist.

But just two months later, in July 2014, his name surfaced again in connection with an investigation into a Florida man, Moner Mohammad Abusalha, who had gone to Syria and killed himself in a suicide bombing.

F.B.I. agents learned as part of the Abusalha investigation that he and Mr. Mateen had attended the same mosque and had known each other "casually," Mr. Comey said. They interviewed Mr. Mateen for a third time, but determined that his contacts with the suicide bomber were not significant, he added.

"It looks like things were done well," Mr. Comey said of the F.B.I.'s handling of Mr. Mateen.

Mr. Comey's remarks echo those made after the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing. The F.B.I. had investigated one of the two bombers, Tamerlan Tsarnaev, but found no evidence to pursue a criminal case. Some in Congress criticized that decision.

The Russian government told the F.B.I. in 2011 that Tamerlan Tsarnaev was a follower of radical Islam, and was associated with unspecified underground groups in Russia, the F.B.I. said. The F.B.I. investigated and ultimately found no links to extremists. The C.I.A. conducted a similar review.

Another report by the inspector general concluded that the F.B.I. had followed its guidelines in that case. Though internal investigators said the agent involved could have been more thorough, the final report said there was no evidence indicating that those additional steps would have uncovered a crime or justified keeping the investigation open.

Such cases rankle F.B.I. counterterrorism agents, who say they are criticized both for leaving cases open too long and for closing cases that do not have enough evidence.

Don Borelli, a retired F.B.I. counterterrorism supervisor in New York, said there is a danger in criticizing agents who close investigations. If agents become reluctant to close cases on innocent people, he said, it threatens the Constitution and civil liberties. "Can we allow people's futures to be affected if there's no proven basis for it? That's the flip side to all this," he said. "Imagine if you can't get a job because you're on some watchlist and there's no basis for it."

Sally Q. Yates, the deputy attorney general, also told reporters at the news conference that the Justice Department might look to adopt new procedures that would alert counterterrorism investigators if someone who had been under investigation and on a terror watchlist tried to buy a gun.

Mr. Mateen bought the two weapons used in the attack just this month, officials said. When he went to buy those guns after having come under investigation, "one would have liked to have known about it," Ms. Yates said.

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Orlando Gunman Was on Terror Watchlist, F.B.I. Director Says (Published 2016)

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WASHINGTON - The F.B.I. director said on Monday that the gunman in the mass killing in Orlando was on a terrorist watchlist from 2013 to 2014, but that months of intense investigation into his foreign travels, his inflammatory language with co-workers and his possible motivations did not produce enough evidence to arrest him.

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The gunman who killed 49 people in an attack on a gay nightclub in Orlando is said to have been a regular at the venue and had messaged several people on gay dating apps, according to reports.

An unnamed FBI official told the Associated Press on Tuesday that the bureau was investigating the claims.

At least four regular customers said they had seen killer Omar Mateen drinking at the nightclub on multiple occasions. "Sometimes he would go over in the corner and sit and drink by himself, and other times he would get so drunk he was loud and belligerent," Ty Smith told the Orlando Sentinel

"We didn't really talk to him a lot, but I remember him saying things about his dad at times," Smith said. "He told us he had a wife and child."

Jim Van Horn, 71, told the Associated Press Mateen was a "regular" at the Pulse nightclub where the murders took place. "He was trying to pick up people. Men," he said. "He was a homosexual and he was trying to pick up men. He would walk up to them and then he would maybe put his arm round them or something ... That's what people do at gay bars. That's what we do."

Asked what went through his mind when he saw his picture, Van Horn, who lost three friends in the shooting, said: "We just went, 'Oh. That makes sense. That's Omar.'"

He added: "I think it's possible that he was trying to deal with his inner demons, of trying to get rid of his anger of homosexuality. It's really confusing to me. Because you can't change who you are. But if you pretend that you're different, then you may shoot up a gay bar."

Asked by the Guardian about rumours his son was gay, Mateen's father Seddique Mateen said: "It's not true. Why, if he was gay, would he do this?"

But when asked why she thought he went regularly to a gay club, his ex-wife Sitora Yusufiy told CNN: "When we had gotten married he confessed to me about his past that was recent at that time, and that he very much enjoyed going to clubs and the nightlife ... I feel like it's a side of him or a part of him that he lived but probably didn't want everybody to know about." Asked if she thought he was gay, she said: "I don't know."

As accounts of the gunman's reported appearances at Pulse emerged on Monday evening, thousands of Orlando residents packed a downtown square in memorial of the dead. Bells at the First Methodist church tolled 49 times for each of the victims, the last of whom to be identified, Akyra Monet Murray, also the youngest at 18, was named shortly before the vigil began.

People gathered in Orlando on Monday night to remember the victims of the Pulse massacre. Photograph: Carlo Allegri/Reuters

As the crowd at the vigil raised up candles in front of the Dr Phillips Art Center, which had been lit in rainbow colors, faith leaders including an imam and Hispanic evangelicals joined LGBT activists and campaigners against gun violence in a collective cry of defiance that love would conquer hate.

"We remain a city in pain. We are mourning and we are angry," said mayor Buddy Dyer, who told the crowd that Orlando had become itself the victim of a dreadful irony. "Our city, a joyful melting pot of cultures and ways of life, now has to bear the title of the site of the worst mass shooting in American history."

Two prominent members of the Pulse community addressed the vigil. The club's manager Neema Bahrami said to a huge cheer: "I want you to know we are not leaving. We are here to stay. We will be bigger and better than you can ever imagine. We will not be defeated. We are here to stay."

Pulse's co-founder Ron Legler said that he and Barbara Poma had opened the popular gay venue "as a place of pride. A place you could feel safe. We are going to rebuild that Pulse."

Orlando mayor Buddy Dyer and police chief John Mina at a memorial service for victims. Photograph: Carlo Allegri/Reuters

Terry DeCarlo of the GLBT Community Center in Orlando told the vigil that he had received messages of condolence and solidarity from all around the world. The mayors of Berlin and London, and leaders from Australia, Spain and Brazil had all contacted him "saying Orlando, we see you, we stand with you, we love with you," he said.

Among the huge numbers of people at the vigil, many of whom carried rainbow flags or the national emblem of Puerto Rico in reflection of the large number of Hispanic victims, was a man who described to the Guardian his extraordinary story of survival at Pulse. Orlando - he would not give his last name - described how for three terrible hours he lay motionless on the ground in a back bathroom of the club, his head rammed up against the toilet bowl, trying to maintain total silence.

In all that time, he said, as the shooter of the Pulse nightclub massacre calmly moved around him, he kept having just one thought.

"I'm not going to make it out of here. I kept thinking I wasn't coming out of this, I just wasn't."

Orlando and two other terrified clubgoers at the popular gay venue avoided drawing the gunman's attention by playing dead, as all around them they could hear the carnage. "Everyone was screaming and bellowing, except for us. Me and my friend kept quiet. We could hear the shooter talking to people in the next bathroom stall."

The clubgoer said he heard Mateen ordering people in the adjacent bathroom stall not to use their phones to make text messages. "He said, 'Please don't text'. That was the words he used."

He also heard the shooter make a call, apparently to the police, and making the statement that America should stop bombing Isis in Syria.

Orlando recalls hearing the gunman make reference to a bomb vest in other phone calls, as well as a strange moment in which he demanded to know if anyone in the bathroom was African American. "I have no problems with black people," the shooter said.

Finally, explosions ripped through the wall of the bathroom as the police SWAT team made their controlled entry. The air filled with dust as a hole was punched in the wall, a wild burst of shooting ensued, and Orlando found himself being tugged up out of the stall by officers and hurled physically out of the hole and into the open air.

"An office just grabbed me and flung me out through the hole," he said.

As he recounted the story, Orlando was still wearing the medical tag from Florida Hospital, where he was treated.

Further accounts of the shooter's apparent interaction with gay culture in advance of his rampage were given by users of a gay dating app Jack'd, who told news outlets that Mateen had contacted them through it. Kevin West, 37, a former Navy serviceman, said he been messaged by Mateen on the app.

Though out of touch with him for a few months, West said he had received a message from Mateen saying he was in town and asking to meet for a drink.

West told the LA Times he had immediately contacted the FBI after seeing Mateen's picture on the news, handing over his login details to his Jack'd app.

Another man apparently messaged by Mateen on the dating app was 23-year-old Cord Cedeno, who also told the Washington Post he had seen Mateen at the club before. "It was definitely him. He'd come in for years, and people knew him," Cedeno said. "He was open with his picture on the sites; he was easy to recognise."

His former classmate Samuel King, who also worked at the same shopping mall as Mateen after high school, said Mateen had known that he and many of his friends were gay but never expressed any disapproval. "He had to know it, but I never got any sense of homophobia or aggression from him," he told the Washington Post.

The information adds to a complex and often contradictory picture that is emerging of the gunman and his motivation for the outrage. His father, Seddique Mateen, hours after the shooting said that Mateen had once become incensed when he saw two men kissing in Miami in front of his wife and child.

However, in an interview with the Guardian, the father indicated he believed the importance of the incident had been overblown. "But that was a couple of months ago and he never talked about it afterwards," he said. "I don't think that incident would trigger this kind of violent reaction."

Details have also emerged as to how Mateen was able to buy two powerful weapons with which he carried out the attack - .223 assault rifle made by Sig Sauer and a Glock 9mm handgun. He bought the firearms in three separate visits earlier this month to a gun range and store about 15 miles from his home in Fort Pierce.

The owner of the St Lucie Shooting Center, a retired New York city police officer called Ed Henson, told reporters that he had no responsibility for what had happened. Mateen had passed a full federal background check before he was allowed to buy the guns, Henson said, and besides "If he hadn't purchased them from us I'm sure he would've gotten them from another shop in the area."

Now that all 49 of the dead have been identified, and their families told the dreadful news, Orlando will start to begin the long process of grieving. Five of the 53 injured remain in grave condition in hospital, with 47 still in treatment.

Barack Obama will visit the city on Thursday for a ritual of mourning and reflection that has become all too familiar to him in his eight years in office - this being the 15 th time he has had to address the dark subject of mass shootings. After that, the funerals will begin.
The Associated Press contributed to this report

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Orlando gunman Omar Mateen 'was a regular at Pulse nightclub'

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The gunman who killed 49 people in an attack on a gay nightclub in Orlando is said to have been a regular at the venue and had messaged several people on gay dating apps, according to reports.

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Video shows Orlando shooting victims huddled in bathroom

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Footage Taken by Victims [Trigger Warning]

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Footage Taken by Victims [Trigger Warning]

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Orlando Shooting | Video From Inside Pulse Nightclub

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Taken from the BBC

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Released Surveillance Footage [Trigger Warning]

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Released Surveillance Footage [Trigger Warning]

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Surveillance video of Pulse nightclub shooting released

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Pulse Nightclub's Family Forever #WeAreOrlando | RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 2

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Pulse Shooting Being Discussed on RuPaul's Drag Race

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Pulse Shooting Being Discussed on RuPaul's Drag Race

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Trinity & Cynthia Discuss Pulse Orlando Shooting | RuPaul's Drag Race Season 9

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Released one year after the attack.

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Body cam footage from Pulse nightclub shooting released

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Andrea Gibson, Poet, Writer, Activist, Author, Performer - Andrea's New Book "You Better Be Lightning" Available Now

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Andrea Gibson is one of the most celebrated poets and performers of the last two decades. Andrea Gibson's trademark honesty and vulnerability are on full display in their new book "You Better Be Lightning", welcoming and inviting readers to be just as they are. Known as AndrewGibby on some

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Pulse was a gay bar, dance club, and nightclub in Orlando, Florida, founded in 2004 by Barbara Poma and Ron Legler. On June 12, 2016, the club was the scene of the second worst mass shooting by a single gunman in U.S. history, and the second deadliest terrorist attack on U.S. soil since the events of September 11, 2001. Forty-nine people were killed and fifty-three other people were injured.

Pulse hosted themed performances each night and had a monthly program featuring educational events geared towards the LGBT community. According to Orlando Weekly, Pulse featured "three glitzy, throbbing rooms of club boys, twinks and twinks at heart. Every night has something different in store, but Pulse is known to have some pretty impressive drag shows, and the bar's dancers are usually gorgeous." Because of the three areas, Lonely Planet Discover Florida deemed it "three nightclubs," while their Florida volume focused on it being "ultramodern."

Top 10 Orlando called it a "firm favorite for the Orlando gay crowd," The Rough Guide to Florida deemed it "justifiably popular," citing its "great lighting and sound plus cabaret performers, drag acts, and erotic dancers." Pulse was the only gay club mentioned in The Rough Guide to the USA for Orlando. According to listings, the entire premises, including the washrooms, were accessible. Using "periodic consumer surveys," Zagat rated Pulse 25/30 for atmosphere, 25/30 decor, and 22/30 service.

In 1985-prior to Pulse's founding-the property located at 1912 South Orange Avenue was home to a pizza restaurant named Lorenzo's. By 1999, it was called Dante's, a bar with live music. Dante's closed in January 2003.

Founded by Barbara Poma and Ron Legler, Pulse opened on July 2, 2004. Poma's brother, John, died in 1991 from AIDS, and the club is "named for John's pulse to live on," according to a marketing staff member in February 2016. The venue had a focus on local talent. Poma ensured that her brother's memory was prominent on the website, and that the facility was more than "just another gay club." Legler, who was president of the Florida Theatrical Association when Pulse was founded, also founded two nightclubs in Lake Eola Park in 2010, before moving to Baltimore in 2014. The Washington Post described the club's first 12 years as "a community hub for HIV prevention, breast-cancer awareness and immigrant rights," and reported it had partnered with educational and advocacy groups such as Come Out with Pride, Equality Florida, and the Zebra Coalition.

June 2016 massacre

On June 12, 2016, 29-year-old Omar Mateen killed 49 people and wounded 58 others in a mass shooting. The attack was the deadliest single gunman mass shooting in United States history until the 2017 Las Vegas shooting, the deadliest incident of violence against LGBT people in U.S. history, and the second deadliest terrorist attack on U.S. soil since the September 11 attacks of 2001.

In November 2016, the city of Orlando agreed to buy the nightclub for $2.25 million. Mayor Buddy Dyer expressed plans to convert the nightclub into a memorial to honor the memory of the victims.

Barbara Poma, the owner, refused to sell the nightclub to the city in December 2016. Instead she announced in May 2017 the creation of the onePULSE Foundation to independently fund a Pulse Memorial and Museum slated to open in 2022.

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Pulse was a gay bar, dance club, and nightclub in Orlando, Florida, founded in 2004 by Barbara Poma and Ron Legler. On June 12, 2016, the club was the scene of the second worst mass shooting by a single gunman in U.S. history, and the second deadliest terrorist attack on U.S.

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"Orlando" - Andrea Gibson - Button Poetry Live

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"Orlando" - Andrea Gibson - Button Poetry Live

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Orlando Heartbreak: Remembering the Pulse Shooting’s 49 Victims 4 Years Later

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The victims of the 2016 mass shooting at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando had diverse backgrounds and interests

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5 years ago this weekend, 49 people were killed and 53 injured in a mass shooting at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida. A survivor, Orlando Torres, talks about that night and the years since.

SCOTT SIMON, HOST:

Saturday barely ended. It was 2:02 a.m. Sunday morning when a gunman opened fire on this date in Orlando, Fla.

ORLANDO TORRES: My name is Orlando Torres, and I'm one of the Pulse nightclub survivors of the shooting of June 12, 2016.

SIMON: Forty-nine people were murdered that night. Fifty-three more were injured. Orlando Torres survived by hiding in a bathroom.

TORRES: When he had shot and somebody crawled underneath, knocked me and my friend off the toilet bowl, he walked around. I felt them touching my right rear pants pocket. And, of course, my heart rate started beating. And I said, this is it. I expected my whole back to be riddled with bullets. Thank God, I didn't twitch a move. I just let him touch me and acted like if I was dead. And thank God he left me alone.

SIMON: Orlando Torres described the events of that night to our member station in Orlando, WMFE, including the moment that officers made it into the restroom and found him on the floor, stricken and unmoving with fear.

TORRES: They were, like, trying to motivate me by saying, soldier, soldier, push yourself up. I remember those words clearly. And I'm like, no, I can't. So they grabbed my right arm and pulled me up from the floor.

SIMON: Orlando Torres later learned the officer that called him soldier had served overseas. And in all the mayhem and trauma, he'd fallen back on his military training. The attack at Pulse was the deadliest mass shooting in American history for just a little over a year. Then a gunman killed 58 people in Las Vegas. For Orlando Torres, today is a day to mourn friends who he lost, as he told us on a shaky Zoom call.

TORRES: Yeah, and that is one that stands out, one that I helped out when he came from Puerto Rico. I walked up to him, and I kissed him hello, as us - you know, gay guys - we kiss each other on the cheeks. And I proceeded into the restroom. And a few minutes later, that's when the gunshots rang out. When I ended up in the hospital, you know, during the afternoon hours, they were posting up some of the pictures of the victims. And I saw my friend, unfortunately, and I saw he was one of the victims.

SIMON: Orlando Torres later participated in a project to honor those who died. Survivors marked themselves with memories. Mr. Torres chose these words to write on his hands.

TORRES: It said, I kissed you hello, but I never kissed you goodbye.

SIMON: Today, Orlando Torres works as a driver for ride-hailing services and wants people to ask him about what happened in their city five years ago.

TORRES: The passengers that I've had throughout the years after that, you know, sometimes, similar conversations - they come on. What happens in today's life? And I express them what I've been through. And I always express to them to look at your exits. If you're at McDonald's or if you're at Dunkin Donuts, if you're at Walmart just look at your exits because these things that I've gone through, I hope that - God forbid nobody has to with that. But an idea of survival, you know, to buy time or to save their life.

SIMON: Mr. Torres, may I ask if you go out now, these days?

TORRES: I still go out to the nightclub scene. And people say, how do you do that knowing the fear that you went through? And I said, well, I'm a little more observant. I'm observing every person to make sure their pockets are not bulged out with some type of weapon in there. You know, as I've always said, you know, everybody in life has a date, a number when we're all going to expire. As I can see, you know, my life flashed here four times in that restroom, but it seemed like it wasn't my time. So, you know, our motto that I live for, that someone came up with - keep dancing, Orlando.

SIMON: Orlando Torres of Orlando, Fla.

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5 Years Later, 1 Pulse Shooting Survivor Remembers The Tragic Night

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5 years ago this weekend, 49 people were killed and 53 injured in a mass shooting at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida. A survivor, Orlando Torres, talks about that night and the years since. SCOTT SIMON, HOST: Saturday barely ended. It was 2:02 a.m.

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Andrea Gibson (born August 13, 1975) is an American poet and activist from Calais, Maine, who has lived in Boulder, Colorado since 1999. Their poetry focuses on gender norms, politics, social reform, and the struggles LGBTQ people face in today's society.

Gibson grew up in Calais, Maine. They have one sister, Laura, who is mentioned in a poem "The Moon Is a Kite". Growing up in a Baptist home and attending local schools, they later attended Saint Joseph's College of Maine.

Moving with a girlfriend, Gibson lived for a time in New Orleans, and later the two moved in 1999 to Boulder, Colorado, where they settled. They went to their first open-mic in Denver, where Gibson was inspired to become a spoken word artist.

Gibson uses gender-neutral pronouns, specifically they/them/theirs. Many of their poems are about gender identity, such as "Swing Set" and "Andrew". Gibson has said, regarding gender, "I don't necessarily identify within a gender binary. I've never in my life really felt like a woman and I've certainly never felt like a man. I look at gender on a spectrum and I feel somewhere on that spectrum that's not landing on either side of that." Regarding appellation, Gibson has expressed affinity for a variety of names, stating "The names my loved ones call me that I love being called: Andrea. Andrew. Andy. Anderson. Dre. Gibby. Gib. Gibbs. Gibba. Sam. Faye. Pangee."

Gibson has been diagnosed with Chronic Lyme Disease, and they have spoken openly about their experiences with CLD - both in terms of physical suffering and in difficulty accessing care and treatment. They have worked towards spreading awareness of CLD.

A four-time Denver Grand Slam Champion, Gibson finished fourth at the 2004 National Poetry Slam, and third at both the 2006 and 2007 Individual World Poetry Slam. In 2008, Gibson became the first poet ever to win the Women of the World Poetry Slam (WOWps) in Detroit.

In 2008, Gibson published their first book, Pole Dancing To Gospel Hymns. This was followed by The Madness Vase and Pansy, all published by Write Bloody Publishing. Gibson has also written and published Take Me With You, a book of quotes and phrases and illustrated by Sarah J. Coleman. In 2018, they published Lord of the Butterflies.

The album Yellowbird incorporates music with spoken word. Confronting fear was a theme in poems of the following album, Flower Boy. Gibson also released Truce in 2013, followed by Hey Galaxy in 2018.

Gibson cites Sonya Renee Taylor, Derrick Brown, Anis Mojgani, Patricia Smith, and Mary Oliver as influences. Throughout the year, Gibson tours universities and other venues across the country.

Gibson often performs poems at Button Poetry.

In addition to using poetry to provide social and political commentary on gender and LGBTQ issues, Gibson is involved with many activist groups, and also performs at Take Back the Night events. For twenty years, Gibson performed with Vox Feminista, a "performance tribe of radical feminists bent on social change through cultural revolution."

In 2013, alongside Kelsey Gibb, Gibson launched the website and support system, Stay Here With Me. The tumblr account for Stay Here With Me presents it as "an interactive, safe space offering collective support while encouraging individual healing to keep those who visit alive today, and wanting to stay alive until tomorrow."

Gibson is a four-time Denver Grand Slam Champion. They placed fourth in the 2004 National Poetry Slam and third in the 2006 and 2007 Individual World Poetry Slam. Gibson was the first person to win the Women of the World Poetry Slam in 2008.

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Andrea Gibson (born August 13, 1975) is an American poet and activist from Calais, Maine, who has lived in Boulder, Colorado since 1999. Their poetry focuses on gender norms, politics, social reform, and the struggles LGBTQ people face in today's society. Gibson grew up in Calais, Maine.

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When the first responders entered the Pulse Nightclub after the ma**acre in Orlando, they walked through the horrific scene of bodies and called out, "If you are alive, raise your hands."
I was sleeping in a hotel in the Midwest at the time, but I imagine in that exact moment, my hand twitched in my sleep.
Some unconscious part of me aware that I had a pulse
that I was alive.
The next day, I woke to the news that an a**ault rifle had fired 202 bullets to a gay bar on Latin Night in one of the worst ma**acres in US history. The ma**acre of people who did not leave the dance floor when they heard gunshots because they thought they were just the beats of a song.
Everyone around me spent that day grieving and every tear tasted like someone's dance sweat drying in the morgue.
Later that night, I was performing for an audience that had spent two hours in line waiting to get through the bag checks and metal detectors.
On stage, I couldn't keep my hand from covering my heart. I kept scouring the club for the fastest route to every exit. I knew the person working security was in a text war and wasn't keeping his eyes on the door. I knew there was a man in the fifth row picking at the seams of a duffel bag. Every few seconds, I died. The balcony for the glint of whatever might aim to tear the bodies of the spirits of the boys holding hands or the girls with hair cut short as my temper
when rage is a decimal I can actually get to. When I not just grieve, sick and ruined, watching history not be history, but in the music not be music. Knowing someone having the best night of her whole life said, "This is my favorite song," and then a rifle lifted over a bathroom stall and emptied a magazine into the kidneys of a grown man texting, "Mommy I'm going to die," his hand prints in blood on the wall reaching for people
dying in the fetal position. People
covered in their friend's blood, sobbing too hard to hide from their own deaths.
People
outside pushing bandannas into bullet wounds. It's true,
what they say about the gays being so fashionable. Their ghosts never go out of style. Even life, it's like funeral practice.
Half of us are already dead to our families before we die. Half of us on our knees trying to crawl into the family photo that night on stage. I kept remembering being fifteen at Disneyland, wearing my best friend's hoodie like it was my boyfriend's cla** ring. How many years it took me to just touch her face. How many years I spent praying my heart could play dead to the threat was gone to the world changed till history was history, but history just keeps coming for the high, shooting up bodies, kids drumming up reasons to have metal detectors at poetry readings with the poems. They're just unanswered calls to people who claim their God, their apathy, is unwilling to accept the charges. Dear God, how broke do you have to be to not buy people, time to get out the f**king door when the song goes to hell, when this world drunk on hate decides blood is wine and drinks its fill in the only place they ever thought was safe and the only place they thought they did not have to hide in, the only place they were wanted because, because of who they loved
and how they loved
and how they loved
till someone walked to the bodies and asked who was still alive. And hardly anyone put their hand up.