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Post #1: Identity & Schooling Experience

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Post #1: Identity & Schooling Experience

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I identify myself as a Mexican-American woman guided by deeply ingrained, generational  beliefs . Both of my parents were born and raised in Mexico, so a big part of my beliefs and values have stemmed from their culture. I am being biased if I say that Mexican food is the best cuisine out there! In a world where that sheds so much negative light on any religion, I am not ashamed to say partake in the catholic religion, which is very engrained in Mexican values and morals. Interdependence within my brothers and sisters has been the most impactful and fundamental principle that my parents have instilled in me. I am the older sister to 4 siblings, and being their “second parent” has formed a large part of my identity. I have helped raise them and based on my experiences taught them how to incorporate themselves in society where we are not always welcome, in part due to our skin color. We do everything together, whether it be to go shopping for groceries, school pick ups or drop offs, or just simply step outside of the house and go for a walk. I am grateful for the fact that I can always depend on them and they can always depend on me, whenever we are met with any adversity or struggle.

As a learner inside of a classroom, my identities played a large role in how I perceived myself within a classroom as well as how others perceived me. All throughout my K-12 experience, I was always afraid to speak up when a question was asked, out of fear that what was going to come out of my mouth was going to be incorrect. Within my culture, the idea of"never speaking out unless spoken to” or the “only speak up unless you know it is the correct answer” are situations that have dimmed my intellectual light. I would say, it wasn’t until the last part of high school and even going into undergrad, where I was always shy to speak up in a group of students, because in the back of my mind I believed that I by saying something incorrect it oswald give off the connotation that I am not “intelligent enough”. When I would hear another student in my classroom respond in a similar way that I wanted to answer, I kept feeling this “ugh, if only I raised my hand, then the teacher would know I understood the work”. Even just writing this now, teacher validation and being the top-performing student inside of the class is a belief that kept me from voicing out what I had to say. Because in my schooling years, even throughout college, I was in a classroom where I was many times the only Hispanic in the room, let alone only Latina, I had this preconceived notion that I had to prove myself the majority, which were white folks, mainly white men. I believed that if I had to prove that I was “smart enough” to be in a classroom alongside them, which is absurd now reflecting on it! Why does their validation or acceptance matter? Looking back, and putting into practice the type of environment I want to set up in my classroom, I certainly do not want to make anyone afraid of speaking up. Because I felt that my quietness dimmed my curiosity, I want to have a classroom where all voices are heard and just overall create a welcoming place where everyone can feel at peace with speaking their truth, without being looked down upon or feel less than the rest. Inclusivity and interdependence within a classroom is something I hope to have a better grasp off going into my second year of teaching!

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When thinking of my first encounter race, I transport myself to my first day of middle school. It was a warm day and without hesitation I decided to wear a short sleeve top and a pair of jean shorts. As I entered my first period of the day, I sat down and I felt uncomfortable and overly sensitive in the space. As I looked around I didn’t see any students who shared my same skin color, and that made me feel insecure with being the only Latina, and more specifically the sole Mexican female student in the class. To preface, my elementary school was predominantly Latino, and the minorities consisting of Asian and African-American children. Entering middle school I was in shock to see the white children be the majority in a classroom. I was accustomed to seeing a white person at the teaching the classroom, and ironically familiar with that type of environment. Furthermore, as I looked around, I began to examine my body and started to think to myself, why is my skin so dark and why do I have so much hair on my arms and legs in comparison to the other white students. I noticed stares from many classmates, and this instantly flipped a switch within me that made me self-conscious about my decision to show that much of my body to my class. I thought to myself: Why do I stick out from a group of predominantly white individuals and how can I break free this feeling of hostility and non belonging? At such a young age, I no longer felt comfortable in my skin. Suddenly I’m thinking of ideas in which I can portray my body in such a way that does not disrupt the uniformity amongst my white peers. Most importantly I wondered why it was so difficult to approach and be approached by my white classmates and whether there is something wrong with me that is seen by others and not myself. From that day, I felt the color of my skin and my overall physical appearance began to mold to a Eurocentric perception, along with my behavior and mannerisms inside of a classroom.

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In going through the BTEP interview process and filling out questionnaires  or forms about one’s identity, I always ran into the same question; Which race box do I check off and if none are appropriate, how can I label my identity? I don’t consider myself white, nor do I consider myself African American, Native-American, Asian, or any other race listed above. I realize that I might be of descent of one of the races listed previously but because I don’t identify with any  I only see myself as a Mexican-American female.( I almost feel tempted to delete the “American” part of my racial identity.) The deep and profound connection that I now have with my identity is something that my parents have laid the groundwork for, with the hopes that I embody that perspective through my personality and most importantly through the work being demonstrated in my classroom. As an educator who is using this racial lense as the basis of interaction within a classroom, I believe that I need to hold myself accountable for how I embody my race in front of an audience. Being a Mexican woman in the field of STEM is a daunting task because I often found myself thinking am I enough and capable to absorb all this knowledge. I have learned to enjoy and embrace my Mexican identity, particularly in scientific and mathematical spaces where white males hold the majority. As a proud Mexican-American female, I aim to be an example for younger generations that want to show up in fields in which I know that they are often underrepresented. Being Mexican and embodying what I believe is a true representation of my Mexican racial identity,  will continue to shape how I present myself to the world and most importantly to my students.

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Post #2: Using UD Principles in creating Accessible Learning Environments

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Post #2: Using UD Principles in creating Accessible Learning Environments

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A common pattern that we saw throughout these three areas is not offering enough information in multiple languages, including braille for groups that are visually-impaired. Many of the signs near the entrances, elevators, or even posters stuck on the first floor were all in English! This plays at the assumption that everyone who enters the building is fluent in that language, which can possibly cause discomfort to parents who are visiting UCB with their admitted students, or even the non-educator workers that are trying to find their way to a building. This lack of accessibility can fit in with 2 UD principles: Equitable Use and Tolerance for error. The assumption that English is a first language for anyone who steps in the building is making it difficult for people to correctly make their way to where they need to go. Also, the lack of braille or even large and clear signage near areas where people need clear information makes it difficult for the disabled community. In particular with the sign that lets you know where these areas are, I feel that large visible signs like “Elevators” or “Entrance” hanging above those places are needed to accomodate a larger group of people. The knowledge that mainly only students or faculty know where each part of the building is located lends itself to embody a place that is only for a certain profile, especially when the work being done within the building, like Public Health and Education has to do with providing equitable resources to marginalized communities.

Another pattern that I noticed from the architectural design of the building was the color pattern, neutrality of the design, and the lighting throughout the lobby. When you enter the building you are met with a grey and white color palette with touches of wood and cement, that can cause certain people to feel welcomed in the space. The possibility of including artwork, or photographs of the work being carried out by students and faculty would have produced a more inclusive environment. For example, being a person of color, seeing no visuals of someone who looks like me or someone who is almost a person of color, would lead me to feel more welcome in a space that otherwise lends itself to a modern, neutral aesthetic leaves little room for creativity and inclusivity. This experience would fit in with the Universal Design Principles of Flexibility in Use and Simple Intuitive Use. By stepping into the building without any prior knowledge, I wouldn’t know it's the School of Education and Public Health Building. The need for more artwork or photographs that would lead a new person into the building, would aid in their understanding of what is being done in the building. This idea might just be hinting at the idea of a more preferable experience, but because we all intake information differently, opening up the space to be more inviting by showing images of different folks, can instantly make someone feel more comfortable in the space.

This approach makes me rethink the way I as a teacher can create an accessible learning environment, in ways that I had never thought about before. In thinking of my first year of teaching experience from last year, I could have easily created more posters in Spanish because I had a large group of International students, where they were still in the process of learning in English. Not only posters, but using technology as an aid. In reading the first chapter of “Applying Universal Design for Learning in the Classroom”, the use of technology in the classroom could have worked to my advantage, where I could set up online links to resources that would help  these students further understand the topics that were being taught in my class. It would take me ages trying to learn to translate all the mathematical language that I was speaking about, and then making sense of it to them, when I could have done some research about different outlets that offered this at my disposal.  Another way that I would see this play out in my classroom is physically designing my classroom, in which when students step in they feel a sense of comfort and belonging. I admit that this year, due to the fact that I began teaching mid way through the school year, that was the least of my worries in terms of teaching my students. But in partaking in the BWW inventory, I realized that first impressions are very important and lasting, especially in the youth. So if I wanted my teaching to embody who I am as an educator, alongside with my multiple identities, I needed to step in the shoes of my students and look back to see how they visualize my classroom setup. A few things that could have been easy fixes would be incorporating their work either throughout the classroom or outside in the hallways, so that they would know that their hard work was validated and appreciated. Also, by including more colors and posters hung all over the classroom walls, students would feel inspired to produce high-quality work. Oftentimes, I forget that even though I am teaching high school students, at the end of the day they are children and if I do not provide a friendly receptive environment, they will be more likely to zone out and give you the attention that as an educator is crucial to building their skills.

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In reflecting on my K-12 education, I thought of a time in my AP Calculus class. I took that class my senior year, and on that day we were learning about limits. The class was set up in groups of four, and I was part of a group that had only Latino students. Meanwhile, the remainder of the class was all white students, and they were all grouped together. The class began with a mini lecture, through the format of a slide deck, from the teacher about limits that included the definitions and a few examples. I remember she only talked for about 5-10 minutes and for the remainder of the day, she gave the class a few classwork assignments to get through. The expectation was that you finish those classwork assignments, so that you could get a head start on the homework because typically it was made up of a bunch of practice found in the problems.

There were a few things that I can pinpoint, in which I felt my learning was not fully supported and I never felt a sense of belonging. In looking at the UDL Considerations, the consideration 7.4 (addresses biases, threats and distractions), was something that the lesson did not include. During classwork time, she never came around to help facilitate group discussion, and was not willing to answer the students questions. The teacher would constantly tell us that because we're in an advanced math class you should be able to workout the problems on our own or within the group The majority of the class was afraid to go up to her desk and ask her questions because she was never willing to hear to students explain their thought process and where they were stuck. As a student, I felt that making mistakes and not understanding the question was unacceptable in a class where there should be little to no room for error. Also, a consideration that was not being addressed in the lesson was consideration 1.2, support multiple ways to perceive information. The small lecture that was presented in the beginning of the class, contained no videos or animations that would give a holistic view of the topic of a limit in Calculus. The slidedeck lacked variation in ways that would target different preferences of retaining the information. In helping understand the topic, rather than just taking notes in a notebook and copying down the information, I could have  benefitted from the use of a graphic organizer(consideration 6.3- organize information and resources). In particular in high school math, the use of templates or graphic organizers to categorize and break down the dense information are frequently neglected. I think the bias (consideration 3,3- cultivate multiple ways of knowing and making meaning) that many many high school teachers have of, “ you guys should know this because you took class xyz”, prevents them from building on previous knowledge, and comes with pre-conceived notion that all students learn best through a pacific type of mode in which the information is presented in.  Something was discussed in the whole class discussion of how the uniformity in assessment prohibits the accurate measure of the students understanding of the material.

I think the main idea in looking back at how my AP Calculus teacher set up the classroom and having examined it through the perspective of UDL principles, is that there are many assumptions of how classrooms should be run and in return how students should respond that prevents learning and curiosity in the classroom. As an educator, I must be conscious that just because the method of teaching that I have used has worked for other classes, doesn’t mean it is applicable to the rest, specifically if it is not being carried out through a UDL approach. In accounting all the different learners in my classroom and building a classroom that represents this variety, I can cultivate greater knowledge because of the lack of barriers that students see or feel with how the class is structured and what is being taught. Making my classroom setup, norms, and curriculum adaptable through use of all these UDL considerations will lead to a more positive teaching experience for myself and a positive learning experience for my students.

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UDL Lesson Analysis:  “You are the Product”

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In the embodiment history performance of yesterday, I was happy to be in group with people that looked different from me, because then that gave me the opportunity to describe through my movements and choice of words how I connected with the historical image. In these first weeks in BTEP, I have never tapped into my racial identity and motivation to be an educator simultaneously. The person that was photographed in the historical image reminded me of my students, my siblings, and ultimately myself. In trying to convey the emotion and resilience of Peter Rodriguez, I felt myself opening up and finding things within myself that have been bottled up. This relates to the question that I always get of: "Why did you want to become a teacher?" All these activities and and readings that I have encountered in BTEP that touched on racial identity, have allowed me to sit back and reflect on the reasons why my racial identity has been the major reason why I want to be in these classes, representing these kids that need that representation in order to recognize what kind of person they want to evolve into.

A pattern that I used in my embodied activism demonstration was the rhythmic way in which I kept on repeating phrases. On my first round, it felt very monotone, and as I was reciting something with which I had no connection to, but the more I started repeating, the more it felt in my body. Also with the rounds of repetition of the demonstration, I began to add a few more movements that I did not include in my video recording. I noticed that the more I followed where my body and soul was leading me, the more natural I felt in performing it for my home group. It is truly incredible what certain activities do to make you more aware of what's happening inside of your body. A belief that I was enacting in my performance was the gratitude I felt in sharing the same racial identity as the student protestors in the walkouts. I wanted my movements and words to depict that I am another generation of Mexican-American and that their struggles are something that is very in light with current events that are happening everyday under the current administration. I wanted my moves to show that regardless of how racist people are trying to instill white supremacy throughout the country, my people are not afraid to stand up for injustices that are continually being faced now and back then as well.

In terms of the compass, this places me on all parts of it! I am in the emotional side as I am describing the reason why my identity play an influential part in my teaching. By tapping into my racial identity I came to the realization that I want to change the dynamic a classroom in undeserved, predominantly brown and black community, and to show them what quality education looks like. Yes I love math and I love kids! But that was a placeholder for why I really wanted to be an educator. Then, I am feeling like I am in the moral part of the compass because I am realizing how it is that my pedagogy of teaching can tap through my students curiosity and identity. Holding on tight to my purpose for teaching, makes me believe that I can create a classroom environment where my students they truly believe and and envision their capabilities. In terms of the relational parts of the compass, I can see how powerful being in tune your body evokes emotion like no other way. The embodiment of the historical image allowed me to connect with someone who I share no familial connection but somehow I can still feel their cry for justice. Lastly, in terms of the intellectual section of the compass, my mind is pondering on the fact if how I can incorporate such meaningful learning essences in a subject that is often misunderstood as boring and impractical in real world. Through arts integration, I now realize that I am able to provide my students enriching connections from the subject material to daily occurrences or events, but it is my responsibility to to show up for my students and show them that I care, if I want to create a space of open dialogue and curiosity.

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Maria Elena Rodriguez_UDL/ARtS: Reading and Reflection log

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Field Experience Part 1: Planning Field Trip to Oakland Museum of California(OMCA) & Images of Visit

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Field Experience Part 1: Planning Field Trip to Oakland Museum of California(OMCA) & Images of Visit

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Field Experience Part 2: Self Guided Museum Visit

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Field Experience Part 2: Self Guided Museum Visit

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1. Describe the first time you heard the n-word/slur.  Where were you?  Who said it and who did they say it to and/or how did they use it? What was their race and gender identity?

1.  The first time I heard the n-word was at school. This happened during recess as my friends and I were walking on the school yard. A group of boys were singing a rap song that involved the n-word, that ended with “a” and not “er”. The majority of them were Latino and one of them was black. The times that I had heard that word being used was only in rap music,and I was unaware of what it meant. Those students that were using the n-word also referred to themselves using that slang word, sort of as another way of saying guy or dude. As the group of boys repeated that slang word, they did not pay much attention to the severity and inappropriateness that came along with the n-word.

2. What does the viewing of The n-word: An interactive project exploring a singular word inform/provoke you to do?  What came up for you and where does that place you on the Compass?

1. After hearing different perspectives on the way the n-word is being used and its frequency, the views of a few adults that were featured in the video really paint the mixture of the severity and inappropriate use of the word. I noticed that the older black adults that were explaining their feelings towards using that word, were filled with anger and disappointment towards other black people continuing to use that slang word. I think that the n-word has been so normalized in music and youth culture, particularly in the Bay Area, that sadly it is strange to not hear the term being used. Music genres such as rap and hip-hop, have normalized its usage,  making it almost okay for it to be used by rap enthusiasts. I enjoy hearing this type of music but I never find myself wanting to sing along to parts that contain the n-word or let alone using the slang word because I have learned about the history of the usage of the term, the amount of hatred and dominance that is attached to it. Referencing one of the women that spoke in one of the interviews, she mentioned that the prominence and heavy usage of the word, is a form continuing to be under the control of or seen as less than the white race. I think that many people, in particular some individuals from  younger generations, don’t think twice about using that word because they are either unaware or choose to ignore the weight that comes with using that slang word. They don’t fully understand the role of the n-word and how that continues to hurt and damage the identity of members of the black community. As I’m typing this up, I find myself in both the moral and emotional side of the compass. In hearing different perspectives,thoughts, and feelings about the usage of the n-word, I can recognize and understand the perspective of each erosion speaking in those videos. But, the voices that still seem to resonate and stand out for me are those individuals that have a reason as to why they prohibit themselves from using that slang word. In thinking of the homes and stations of my future classroom, I’m thinking of the ways I can incorporate the history to demonstrate to students the severity and the reason behind the outright prohibition of the term.