# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
If you struggle with wordiness or have been told your writing is too formal or hard to follow, these tips may help you get some control.

Qualifiers

Avoid words such as like, really, basically, essentially, or very.

Redundancy

Delete doubles (full and complete, any and all, first and foremost, honest and true, each and every).

Delete ideas that are implied (true facts, free gift,each individual).

Replace negative statements with positive ones when possible (not replaceable = irreplaceable, not dissimilar = similar).

Turn adjective and noun pairs into adverbs.

Ex. (Wordy) First and foremost, the pieces must be aligned in an accurate manner.
Ex. (Concise) First, the pieces must be aligned accurately.

Sentences

You don't need transitions (however, but, and, therefore, nevertheless, meanwhile, moreover, consequently) between every sentence or paragraph. You can help readers follow ideas in other ways as well, such as the repetition of a key word or the use of words like this.

Avoid long opening phrases and clauses at the beginning of sentences. Get to the subject quickly.

Ex. (Slow start) Whatever results are found during the trials, and they may or may not be favorable, we will stand behind the science. [The subject, we, is the sixteenth word in the sentence.]
Ex. (Revised) Whatever results are found during the trials, we will stand behind the science. [Here, we is the eighth word, and the reader gets to the meat of the sentence sooner.]

Remove interruptions between subjects and verbs.

Ex. (Interrupted) The report, compiled by fourteen separate government agencies including the Department of Homeland Security and the Department of Defense and featuring more than 3,000 pages and 732 appendices, was confusing.
Ex. (Revised) The report was confusing, perhaps because it was compiled by fourteen separate government agencies including the Department of Homeland Security and the Department of Defense and was more than 3,000 pages long-not including 732 appendices.

Remove interruptions between verbs and objects. Try moving the interrupting element to the beginning or end of the sentence.

Ex. (Interrupted) We must make, if we want to be respected, sound choices.
Ex. (Revised) If we want to be respected, we must make sound choices.
Ex. (Revised) We must make sound choices if we want to be respected.

There is/are and It is/are allow for delay and focus attention away from the subject. Avoid them if you want attention on the real subject. (The subject is underlined in the examples below.)

Ex. There are several syntactic devices that let you manage where you locate units of new information in a sentence.
Ex. (Revised) Several syntactic devices let you manage where you locate units of new information in a sentence.

Avoid burying the main topic of a sentence in a prepositional phrase.

Ex. The use of this method would eliminate the problem.
Ex. (Revised) This method would eliminate the problem.

Focus on the "real" verb. Avoid the use of nominalizations (a verb or adverb that is changed into a noun and coupled with a weaker verb).

Ex. (Nominalization) to effect an installation, to conduct an analysis, to give consideration
Ex. (Strong verb) to install, to analyze, to consider

Keep coordinate elements in the same grammatical structure (parallel structure).

Ex. (Not parallel) I can't finish my paper because I am sick, my sister's wedding, and a computer explosion.
Ex. (Parallel) I can't finish my paper because I'm sick, I'm going to my sister's wedding, and I'm without a computer.

Keep modifiers close to what they modify.

Ex. (Modifier far away) Scientists have learned that their observations are as subjective as those in any other field in recent years.
Ex. (Modifier close) In recent years, scientists have learned that that their observations are as subjective as those in any other field.

Emphasis

The topic of a sentence is expected to be its grammatical subject. In most of your sentences, use subjects to name topics (what you want the reader to focus on). You can put greater emphasis on the main subject by putting it in the first clause.

Ex. Although a great imagination was her gift, writing stories was never Matilda's strength. [This version puts the focus on writing rather than on Matilda.]
Ex. Although a great imagination was her gift, Matilda was never very good at writing stories. [This version puts the focus on Matilda.]
Ex. Matilda was never very good at writing stories although she had the gift of a great imagination. [This version puts the focus on Matilda and puts the main clause first, the most emphatic position.]

Place new information, technical terms, or long, complicated phrases at the end of your sentence to give them emphasis and/or avoid confusing your reader.

Ex. (Beginning position) Lincoln's claim that the Civil War was God's punishment of both North and South for slavery appears in the last part of the speech.
Ex. (End position) In the last part of his speech, Lincoln claims both North and South suffered slavery as a punishment from God.

Use passive voice only when you're not sure who performed an action or when you want to emphasize the thing that was acted upon. (Note that some fields prefer passive voice, such as some scientific disciplines.)

Ex. (Passive voice) The window was broken. [The writer doesn't know or doesn't want to say who broke it.]
Ex. (Passive voice) The exquisite stained-glass window was broken. [The writer wants to focus the reader's attention on the window.]

For most other instances, stick with active voice.

Ex. (Active voice) My little brother broke the window. [The writer wants to emphasize the actor. The result is a direct, concise sentence.]
Ex. (Passive voice) The window was broken by my little brother. [This version is longer, less direct, and shifts emphasis away from the actor. The active version above is preferable, unless the writer has a particular reason for emphasizing the window and deemphasizing the brother.]

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
How to Improve Your Writing Style | AP Lang Sophistication Point | Coach Hall Writes

# data[].attributes.body
Use the Grammar improvement mini-lesson slides and see how many of these you can notice in your writing. Obviously, we haven't gone over all of these mini-lessons yet, but do what you can.

# data[].attributes.attachment_caption
consider leaving your readers with a short anecdote, call to action, rhetorical appeal, etc.

# data[].attributes.headline
opposite of introduction: start specific, then zoom back out to end with more general significance, putting larger issue in context

# data[].attributes.subject
opposite of introduction: start specific, then zoom back out to end with more general significance, putting larger issue in context

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
How to Write a Conclusion Paragraph for AP Lang | Coach Hall Writes

# data[].attributes.body
select a topic on the left side (under "general language functions") and then expand any of the central topics by clinking the + or - functions

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
A well-known example of this is …Another example of what is meant by X is …This is exemplified in the work undertaken by …This distinction is further exemplified in studies using …An example of this is the study carried out by Smith (2004) in which …The effectiveness of the X technique has been exem…

# data[].attributes.attachment_caption
1) main idea/topic sentence 2) introduce source first, then textual evidence 3) analysis/commentary 4) link back to thesis/line of reasoning to core topic

# data[].attributes.headline
citing sources (in-text and works cited)

# data[].attributes.subject
citing sources (in-text and works cited)

# data[].attributes.body
*copy/paste the citations only (not the annotated part of the bibliography) to create a Works Cited at the end of your essay*

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
In academic writing, any time you use direct quotes, ideas, or information that is either not common knowledge or is from outside your own experience, you must cite where you found these things (the source). Although there are many different styles used to document sources (e.g. APA, CME, Chicago, or Turabian), the basic principles of citation are similar. This handout explains those basic principles but uses MLA style for its examples; the details will differ for other styles. See Documentation Styles on the UWC web site (writingcenter.tamu.edu) for details on each style. This handout offers only a brief overview of MLA style; see an MLA handbook for greater detail.

Reasons for Citing

Cite your sources to show your readers where you found the information and to show that you've fully researched your topic and are aware of current thinking on the subject. Readers may use your documentation to go back to your sources and check your work. They also may read your sources to see if they agree with your interpretation or to supplement their own research. In other words, your sources are a paper trail.

This trail has three major markers along the way:

1. A reference to the source, regardless of whether you're summarizing, paraphrasing, or quoting from it directly.

2. An in-text citation to show exactly what material you are citing and its origin.

3. A list of sources at the end of your document that provides more detailed bibliographic information than the in-text citation.

You must cite (or document) any idea, conclusion, information, words, visuals, or data directly derived from someone else. Any time you paraphrase or summarize another author, or quote an author directly, you must cite them. You don't need to document general knowledge, common sayings, self-evident opinions, or conclusions. A good rule of thumb: when in doubt, cite.

In-Text Citations

In-text citations, as the name implies, are placed in the text immediately after the source material-whether it's a quotation, paraphrase, or summary-so readers immediately know where the material comes from. The in-text citation uses a shorthand notation that allows readers to locate the full, original document by referring back to the alphabetically-arranged Works Cited page at the end of the document. (In other styles, Works Cited may be called References or Bibliography.)

In-text citations are placed in parenthesis, and usually include the author's last name and the page number, although this format may change slightly depending on the entry for the source in the Works Cited. In-text citations should clearly reference specific sources from the Works Cited page. For example, if a reference in the Works Cited begins with the author's last name, then the corresponding in-text citation should begin with the author's last name, as well. This makes it easier to find the full citation from the in-text citation

List of Sources

At the end of your paper, you'll need to include a list of all the sources you've cited or consulted, providing complete publishing information for each one. MLA style distinguishes between a Works Cited page which includes only those sources cited in your paper, and a Works Consulted page which lists all the sources you've looked at, even those you don't specifically cite. The MLA handbook suggests that you draft the list of works cited before you begin your paper; that way, you already know what information to include in the parenthetical citations for each source as you write.

Ex. Works Cited entry:
Herrera, Adriana. "Masters of Migration." Americas 1 Jul 2009: Research Library, ProQuest. 56-63. Web. 30 June 2010.

Referring to the Source

Sources are incorporated into researched prose either by quoting, paraphrasing, or summarizing.

Quoting

Original Source: Between November and late February each year, the trunks and branches of the oyamel fir trees in Michoacán province provide a place for millions of butterflies to shelter themselves from the cold and hibernate. When the sun's rays warm them, they flutter their wings in a synchronistic movement that produces a subtle and unforgettable music. No less amazing are the elaborate mating rituals that occur in the spring after the butterflies have had a chance to regain their energy (Herrera 58-59).

Direct Quotes. A direct quote uses the source's exact words within the context of your own prose. There are two different ways to use direct quotes: in text and block form.

1. In text direct quote: If the quote is four lines of text or less, embed it within your prose and use quotation marks to identify the quote. Note that the quotation's end-mark punctuation is placed after the citation. Direct quotes should be used only when something has been said so well that you cannot improve upon it, or when you want to report someone's exact words. Otherwise, paraphrase or summarize the quote.
Ex.: Monarchs sheltering in Mexico provide a memorable spectacle as they "flutter their wings in a synchronistic movement that produces a subtle and unforgettable music" (Herrera 59).

2. Block form direct quote: If the quote is longer than four lines of text, it needs to be placed in a free-standing block of text. Start a new line and indent one inch from the left margin. The text should be double-spaced and left-justified. Note that block quotes are not set off by quotation marks, and that the quotation's end-mark punctuation is placed before the citation.
Ex.: Herrera says this about Monarch migration: Between November and late February each year, the trunks and branches of the oyamel fir trees in Michoacán province provide a place for millions of butterflies to shelter themselves from the cold and hibernate. When the sun's rays warm them, they flutter their wings in a synchronistic movement that produces a subtle and unforgettable music. No less amazing are the elaborate mating rituals that occur in the spring after the butterflies have had a chance to regain their energy (Herrera 59-60).

Paraphrasing and summarizing

A paraphrase usually captures a specific part of a text and rewords it, while a summary provides an overall gist. Both still require a citation to tell your reader where the information came from, but they don't require quotation marks.

Ex. Paraphrased quote: Monarch butterflies make a stop in mid-winter (November to February) to hibernate in the oyamel forests of Michoacán, Mexico. In the spring, they can be observed warming their wings and performing mating rituals (Herrera 59-60).

Ex. Summarized quote: Herrara describes the migration and behaviors of monarchs from the Great Lakes to Michoacán, Mexico (Herrera 59-60).

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
In academic writing, any time you use direct quotes, ideas, or information that is either not common knowledge or is from outside your own experience, you must cite where you found these things (the source). Although there are many different styles used to document sources (e.g.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
How to Write a Synthesis Paragraph | Coach Hall Writes

# data[].attributes.attachment_caption
What is the EXIGENCE for this topic? Why are we researching this NOW? How is it RELEVANT to your audience in particular?

# data[].attributes.headline
start general, get progressively more specific, ending with your thesis 

# data[].attributes.subject
start general, get progressively more specific, ending with your thesis 

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Knowing your audience-whether readers or listeners-will help you determine what information to include in a document or presentation, as well as how to convey it most effectively. You should consider your audience when choosing your tone, content, and language-or else your message may seem unfocused or inappropriate.

In the classroom, your audience is often your professor. However, some assignments are designed so that you are addressing a secondary audience such as an expert in the field or the general public. Even when your audience is your instructor, tailor your communication to meet expectations. For example, your professor may expect you to demonstrate critical thinking or to employ an academic style.

Audience Awareness in the Composing Process

You should consider your audience early in the course of writing documents or speeches, but not necessarily as the first step. Worrying too much about accommodating an audience can inhibit early stages of composition. Do some research and prewriting first. Once you're knowledgeable about the topic and confident you have something to say about it, consider how to make it interesting and significant for specific readers or listeners.

Here are some questions to ask when analyzing your audience:

How much does the audience know about the subject? The level and type of knowledge your audience already has determines how much background you need to provide, which terms will need definition or explanation, and whether you'll use an academic or familiar tone.

How does the audience feel about your topic? You may need to convince a skeptical audience that your views have merit. If the audience is biased against your stance, you'll have to find ways to bring them around to your viewpoint. In that case, finding common ground might be a good place to start.

What new information can you provide? Consider why your topic is important to your audience and what they can gain by giving you their attention. Can you motivate them to think more about your issue? To take action?

What is your relationship to the audience? Are you giving orders, suggestions, or advice? Your tone may be more personal with a peer. If you're an authority, you need to sound sure of yourself; if you're a subordinate, you need to show respect.

The Effect of Audience on Style

Your style is determined in part by your audience. Together, the following elements constitute style; adjust them to reach your intended audience:

Message. What does the audience care about, or what are they likely to act upon? What do they need to know from you?

Argument/Content. What sort of evidence would convince them? What would they need to hear to agree with your argument? Would they appreciate a story or find it distracting?

Word choice. Should you use jargon and slang? Formal or informal words? Contractions?

Sentence type and length. Should you use long, complex sentences or short, simple ones? Can you use fragments?

Tone. Should it be personal or distanced, humorous or serious, formal or informal?

Reaching Out to the Audience in the Introduction

The introduction helps the audience decide if a text is worth reading or a speech is worth their attention. Consider the choices the author makes in the following introduction:

Ex.1 Natalie, 11, is a timid kid, and her parents, though possessing the best of intentions, aren't making it any easier for her. The Portland, Maine, sixth grader says, "I hate it when Mom and Dad get all supercheery and say, 'Don't be shy. See how your sister Tracy does it? Just go up to that kid and say hi.' But I'm not Tracy. It's really hard for me. I feel like everyone is watching me and waiting for me to mess up."

The above is from a Good Housekeeping article, "10 Smart Ways to Help a Shy Child" by Beth Johns (March 2001, page 89). The intended audience is middle-class American women with at least a high school education. The readers have children and know ways to deal with them, but are looking for something new. The writer presents herself as a peer and draws interest immediately by using a human interest story about a particular child to introduce the topic. Her tone is informal and her language is casual: "kid" instead of "child," a contraction for "are not," and slang ("supercheery"). She uses active voice and short sentences.

Compare Johns' introduction with "An Ambulatory Physiological Monitor for Animal Welfare Studies" in the scholarly journal Computers and Electronics in Agriculture (2001, Volume 32, pages 181-194):

Ex.2 A fundamental problem in recording continuous and rapidly varying physiological signals such as the electrocardiogram (ECG), electromyogram (EMG), or electroencephalogram (EEG) from freely-moving subjects over extended periods of time is the large volume of data that must be collected. This problem is further exacerbated when a number of signals and/or subjects are monitored simultaneously. In animal welfare studies, researchers often wish to record multiple signals from multiple animals while the animals are subjected to various stressors over periods of several weeks (Krantz and Falconer, 1995; Rollin, 1997).

Phillip J. Harris, Peter N. Schaare, Christian J. Cook, and Jon D. Henderson, the research team who wrote this, are clearly addressing fellow researchers who want to gain detailed knowledge on a topic they're familiar with. Because these readers expect that the authors have read the most current literature on the topic, careful documentation is provided within parentheses. The authors use formal language, passive voice ("data must be collected"), jargon ("stressors"), and acronyms ("ECG"). Sentences tend to be long and use many modifiers. For example, the opening sentence has 26 words separating the subject from the predicate.

Addressing a Diverse Audience

An additional but important factor to consider when writing a document or preparing a speech is the differences that exist in our diverse society. Your goal should be to not only address your audience accurately and clearly, but also in a socially acceptable and professional manner. The following are suggestions to help you adapt your document or speech to meet this goal:

Recognize your cultural filter. Cultures are not monolithic, but are formed from many factors such as class, gender, generation, religion, or education. Your cultural filter shapes how you view the world and can at times prevent understanding different backgrounds.

Avoid ethnocentrism. Assuming that your culture's values, customs, or beliefs are superior to another's is ethnocentrism. It's an attitude that can alienate your audience. Be careful not to assume that all cultural practices are shared. Suspend any judgments or cultural stereotypes. An example of an ethnocentric attitude is assuming that everyone in your audience believes capitalism is the best economic system just because that's the system you live under.

Be aware of gestures when speaking. In many cultures, different gestures have different meanings. For example, in North America, eye contact is a sign of respect. However, in Japan and Korea, the same eye contact is considered intimidating. Some gestures (sitting cross-legged, folding your arms) might be acceptable in one culture, but may appear rude or defensive in another. When giving a speech, consider whether your audiences might misconstrue any gestures you're likely to make.

Distinguish between people and their abilities. When referring to an individual with a disability, always use people-first language. For example, instead of "the blind woman," write "the woman who is blind." This will ensure the person is the focus of your message and not the disability. Also, avoid outdated terms ("handicapped," "crippled") and never identify someone solely by that person's disability ("a quadriplegic," "an epileptic.").

Adopt bias-free language. Biased language privileges one group or leaves out other groups or individuals and often makes unwarranted assumptions. For example, using the term "flesh-colored" assumes that every reader will have the same skin color-or that one color of skin is better than another. Don't write "the male lawyer" when it is unnecessary to signify the lawyer's gender. Avoid mentioning a person's sex, gender, ethnic background, religion, disability, or physical characteristics without a sufficient reason for doing so.

Avoid sexist language and gender-specific terms. Sexist language creates stereotypes that assume one gender is the norm. Nonsexist language refrains from addressing sex at all when it's irrelevant. Gender-specific words (policeman) stress one sex, excluding the other. Consider substituting gender-neutral words (police officer).

Acknowledge issues of oppression. Similar to ethnocentrism, the language we write or speak might convey a negative bias towards individuals or groups. If your message stereotypes a group, even unconsciously, you risk offending your audience. Examples of discriminating language to avoid include:

Racism - Your audience will be diverse. By recognizing that there are many cultural frames of reference, you'll reach each reader or listener effectively. Unless it is necessary, avoid references to ethnicity.

Heterosexism - If your essay or speech depicts a relationship, don't assume that each member of your audience is heterosexual.

Ageism - Many pervasive stereotypes exist with regard to the age of individuals. If you write or speak about an elderly person, challenge discriminating ideas such as "old people are feeble" or "teenagers lack wisdom."

Sexism - While sexist language assumes one term for both genders, sexism suggests one sex or gender is inferior to the other. To suggest that females are emotional and men are logical privileges one sex over the other, while stereotyping that all of one sex have the same traits or characteristics.

References

Axtell, Roger E. Gestures: The Do's and Taboos of Body Language Around the World. New York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 1998.

Lucas, Stephen E. The Art of Public Speaking: Ninth Edition. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2007.

Maggio, Rosalie. Talking About People: A Guide to Fair and Accurate Language. Westport, CT: Oryx Press, 1997.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Knowing your audience-whether readers or listeners-will help you determine what information to include in a document or presentation, as well as how to convey it most effectively. You should consider your audience when choosing your tone, content, and language-or else your message may seem unfocused or inappropriate.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Situate in a Broader Context | AP Lang Sophistication Point | Coach Hall Writes

# data[].attributes.headline
analyze well --> from "says" to "does" & "because" 

# data[].attributes.subject
analyze well --> from "says" to "does" & "because" 

# data[].attributes.body
see p.2 for word banks with strong academic verbs and phrases

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
How to Write an Introductory Paragraph for a Synthesis Essay | AP Lang Q1 | Coach Hall Writes

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
What is a Line of Reasoning? | AP Lang FAQ | Coach Hall Writes

# data[].attributes.body
- Defensible & arguable statement that takes a clear position
- Considers audience
- Syntax & diction are considered, sentence(s) are well crafted
- Previews the organization of your paper by presenting main topics in the same order they will appear