# data[].attributes.body
Deepen your description of one memory from your personal narrative. Choose one object, place, or detail from your narrative that you want to describe more clearly. Then answer the following:

What does it look like? (color, shape, resemblance to anything else)

What does it sound like?

What does it feel like? (texture, material)

What does it smell like?

Go back into your draft and revise that scene using your new sensory sentence or the language you've developed above. Post your revised scene to this station when you're done.

# data[].attributes.body
When the nurse placed my newborn son in my arms, the world seemed to blur into quiet. His skin looked soft and pink, almost glowing under the pale hospital light. I could see tiny wrinkles on his hands, like folded silk, and his dark lashes fluttered against his cheeks. The room smelled faintly of antiseptic and baby powder—a mix of new life and hospital calm. His skin felt warm and delicate against my chest, smoother than anything I’d ever touched, and his faint breath brushed against my neck like a whisper. I could hear the steady beep of the heart monitor in the background, but all I really noticed was the tiny sigh he made, as if relieved to finally rest. In that moment, every sound and scent faded, leaving only the heartbeat of a mother and her child.

# data[].attributes.headline
Indirect Characterization – Revised Scene

# data[].attributes.subject
Indirect Characterization – Revised Scene

# data[].attributes.body
The nurse’s words echoed softly, “One more push, you’re almost there!” My hands gripped the edge of the hospital bed, knuckles white from the effort. Sweat rolled down my temples, and I bit my lip to stop myself from crying out. You can do this, I told myself, though my voice trembled inside my head. The doctor’s calm nod and the nurse’s steady encouragement pushed me forward. Each contraction felt endless, but I refused to give up. When my son’s first cry finally filled the room, I smiled through tears. The exhaustion was still there, but so was something stronger — the quiet proof that I had the strength to endure anything.

# data[].attributes.body
I would hear people in the school hallways saying things like “She needs to go back to wear she came from, she doesn’t belong here.” Or “It’s all Mexicans here, we don’t want a black person here.” I one time even overheard some classmates laughing about her hair, saying it was too big and messy. Clearly all of these remarks they were making showed she was not welcomed by them, just because of her race. This situation got even worse when I witnessed a muddy soccer ball being kicked at her as they left her standing there alone while they laughed and walked away. When I saw this I immediately ran to her and asked her if she was ok. “Yea they’re always up to something.” she replied while rolling her eyes. “You shouldn’t take this from them anymore, its not ok.” I told her. She then replied to me saying “Well what can I do? Its only one of me and multiple of them, it’s honestly better ignoring them and can’t fight hate with hate right?” I nodded as I walked her to the office to ask for extra clothes and after that we became great friends and hung out almost every day.

# data[].attributes.body
In confusion I wondered what she could possibly be talking about and slowly turned around. My eyes widened and my heart began to jump with joy. There stood a tiny blonde chihuahua and she looked like she needed my help. She was very malnourished that even her ribs were showing, she had decaying teeth, long outgrown nails, and had an extremely desperate look on her face. From that day on I have been caring for Princess (her well deserving name) and have had her for 7 years now. Her personality has changed completely since then. At first she was very skittish and serious but she has grown so much now and plays with her other dog siblings, loves to go for walks in her pink doggy stroller and always has a huge smile on her face. She has no teeth now and her tongue hangs out to the side so just imagine that big toothless gummy smile of hers. I feel so immensely proud whenever I look at her, seeing how my care and affection really had a positive effect on her, it makes me feel like I accomplished something great.

# data[].attributes.body
I started a business and later got a job at a bar. Nights were filled with loud music, the taste of drinks, and lights glowing over strangers faces. The air smelled of spilled beer, citrus from, and occasional cigarette smoke from outside. What started as casual weekends turned into regular nights out. Laughs, cheers, and new friends. “I’m young, why not enjoy it now?” I’d think, caught up in the city’s energy. But each morning, as sunlight rose onto my balcony, a quiet emptiness settled in, always paired with regret.

Karissa Fisher

# data[].attributes.body
I try for a "hopeful" toned conclusion

I don’t long for my old life anymore like I once did. My desire for peace, purpose, and knowledge outweigh that immeasurably. I feel as if I’ve been blessed with a new life. I’m sober, back in school, and pursuing a purposeful career in nuclear medicine. I never expected to find such clarity. A simple classroom lesson sparked my interest in nuclear medicine came to me out of the blue but all I knew was it felt right. It started a passion I never knew was there. That moment my life changed overnight. I now saw a future with endless purpose and the chance to make a difference. Every struggle, every moment lived, even the most unexpected small moments, has brought me to where I am today and today’s moments define tomorrow’s. Knowing this has helped with resilience. We are not defined by our mistakes, only how and what we learn from them. I now live with gratitude and humble strength that continues to grow every day.

# data[].attributes.body
Paragraph 1: This paragraph describes hearing a quote in that follows me in life. It shows how I was searching for meaning.

Paragraph 2: This paragraph describes losing my brother and how that moment divided my life. It shows grief leading to change.

Paragraph 3: This paragraph shows how I tried to rebuild my life. It shows my attempt to escape through distractions.

Paragraph 4: This paragraph describes realizing that balance wasn’t enough. It shows my turning point.

Paragraph 5: This paragraph ends with finding peace and purpose through school and a new career path. It reveals how I learned resilience and gratitude.

What can I get rid of? Some of the nightlife details repeat the same idea and could be shortened.
Where am I repeating myself? I mention emptiness a few times that can be combined..
How can I make the purpose clearer? By adding a short reflection at the end of each section showing how every event goes back to growth after tragedy.

# data[].attributes.body
The most defining moments in life don't always come in the way we expect them to. For me, it was a chance meeting with someone who lived 3,000 miles away. He was cool and calm, self aware, his energy balanced. Everything I never knew I needed. He quickly became a constant in my life. His words carried a calmness, our humor was paralleled, I felt seen and I felt I could see him. Then one night, blurred by an empty stomach and too many drinks, impulsivity end it all. The late night conversations stopped and life felt still. After the sadness worn off, a realization hit, alcohol had stolen enough and it was time I began reclaiming who I really am.

# data[].attributes.body
For my personal narrative, I was going for an inspirational tone that shows how interests and goals can show up in the most random and unexpected ways.

Conclusion paragraph:

I was not good at structuring dialogue, or even getting past the first three pages of a story, but my passion for screenwriting was there, and I knew that this was the right direction for me. I knew that with the proper dedication I could improve and get past that first stage. It brought me back to endless late nights in my room, my strained eyes trying their hardest to stay open, just so I did not fall asleep and lose any good ideas. The more I tinkered with the basics, the more I learned about the creative freedom that came with writing this way. I did not have to follow a set of rules, I could write things my own way. This realization made me learn that as bad as I was at the fundamentals of screenwriting, it was a big interest of mine and something that I would want to continue doing in the future.

# data[].attributes.body
"Do you think you'll be too scared?" My sister asked with a prideful smirk wide across her face. My face was surely pink by now, I knew I couldn't back down, I couldn't let her win. The smell of microwave popcorn became more noticeable with each second, and the sound of popping from the kitchen grew louder and louder. When the studio logos flashed across the screen, I knew I was in for it. The room grew darker, the hair on my neck stood up. If I got scared watching a movie, I'd feel like an even bigger loser. Before I knew it, the end credits rolled across the screen. It was over. A wave of relief washed over me, but I was more disappointed than relieved. "Was that supposed to be scary?" I asked, realizing I hadn't gotten much out of it. My sister looked stunned. Could it be true?

# data[].attributes.body
In the 1st paragraph I want to set a comfortable reinforcing tone while I describe my family home

1st paragraph verbs and adjectives

Grew, old, full, buzzing, follow, arrival, raised, same, small, subdivided, built, small, decorating, plowed, read, heirloom, wooden, dark, oiled, touch, play, brought, barreled, leaping, touching, temporarily, made, smelling, thin, stale, swallow.

1st paragraph with adjectives and verbs revised for tone

I was raised in a traditional farmhouse that echoed with family history and trembled persistently under the footsteps of overlapping generations of inhabitants. To me, my home life was as classic American as it got... My mom’s side of the family can trace ancestry back to their debut in the New World in the 1620s.  My brother and I were the 7th generation of decedents under the same roof in the rural outskirts of a small town in the rolling green hills of Western Pennsylvania.  What had been a family farm was subdivided by my grandfather and transformed into a little neighborhood of about fifteen homes with amazing self-taught ingenuity.  There were arrowheads shaped from locally found chert decorating the red brick fireplace, found when the farm fields were originally plowed. My grandma would recite poetry and frequently quote classic literature and the bible from her seat on an heirloom wooden rocking chair; it’s smooth dark arms thickly oiled with the consistent contact of decades of family hands. By memory she would casually perform Moonlight Sonata on her mother’s Steinway grand piano brought from her childhood home, as we kids barreled up and down stairs, leaping with abandon from bed to banister to sofa, over or around people and abundant breakables to avoid the perilous act of contact with the floor (which of course temporarily consisted of deadly molten lava).  I remember climbing into her bed in the late morning; the light shining in thin beams from around the edges of the thickly woven navy curtains, and the combined aroma of hair gel she used to pin up her thin curls overnight and stale bread she kept on a clawfoot bedside table to help her swallow her pills during the night.

# data[].attributes.body
The 1st paragraph describes my childhood home and my grandma.

Getting long. Does it overshadow other parts of the short story?

The 2nd paragraph describes my dad's upbringing and shows the difference between my parents

The 3rd paragraph describes realizing that my race would make people approach me with some assumptions or misconceptions.

Needs added dialogue and visual descriptions

The 4th paragraph describes my anger and frustration at being pigeonholed

This paragraph should maybe be tied into the previous because a transition is needed

The 5th paragraph talks about gaining appreciation for my differences

This paragraph and #6 should possibly be switched because the tone shifts to a more positive one and I think the following paragraph is more transitional

The 6th paragraph mentions getting to travel to Japan and finding love and comfort in something I had resisted

Connect sensory detail description with what feelings it evoked. Switch with par. 5

The 7th paragraph details my gained confidence and changed perspective

Make sure to tie up any themes that were mentioned and make sure it has a balanced feel to the beginning. Does it wrap up too quickly?

The 8th paragraph is a quick quip to depict that although I still experience irritating interactions I have the ability to make my point without getting angry.

Dont know if I should omit. Maybe snarky sounding and contradicts the tone of the ending

# data[].attributes.body
Original:

"With this activity out of the way, and our competitive nature still
not quelled, our excitement took us to the stream that ran at the lowest point of my Na'na's side
yard, elderberry, and lanky elm trees lined the stream, wide enough to host a sizeable leaf race.
in which we would create our own leaf naval vessel and have them head off in a race of the ages.
we would drop them all at the same time at the mouth of the water culvert wich fed the stream,
them follow our racer with cheers and cries depending on our homemade vessel's performance.
The race would end once our leaves entered into the thick blackberry bramble that swallowed the
stream into itself, where we would loose sight of our leaves and where the stream went."

Revised:

With this activity out of the way, and our competitive nature still
not quelled, our excitement took us to the cool, shaded, and calm flowing stream that ran at the lowest point of my Na'na's side
yard. The water's path exited the mouth of the eculvert pipe, down into a small pool, before making a brisk movement across the stream pebbles and rocks, until it met a tall thick thorny bramble. The smell of damp leaves and dark, rich soil would find its way into our nostrils here, and occasionally mixed with the scent of honeysuckle from the flowers that grew on the chain fence on the opposite side of the stream. The nice cool shade that blanketed the stream was thanks to the hard work of the elderberry, and lanky elm trees lined the stream. With this stream at our disposal, we would create our own leaf naval vessel and have them head off in a race of the ages. We would enter into the stream space, stepping on the dry, crinkly elm leaves, which would save our feet from the cold, saturated, soft mud below. Scrounging for peices of bark, twigs, and freshly fallen leaves, to make a hull, mast, and sail. with our ships built we would drop them all at the same time at the mouth of the culvert, follow our race boat with either cheers or cries depending on our homemade vessel's performance. Coming to a halt once our leaves entered into the thick, deep, and dark blackberry bramble that swallowed both the stream an our boats.

-Andreas Salerno

# data[].attributes.headline
Janelle Vazquez: Sensory Detail Revision

# data[].attributes.subject
Janelle Vazquez: Sensory Detail Revision

# data[].attributes.body
Waking up as a kid at my grandparents to the smell of coffee brewing, breakfast being made was special to me. I would open my eyes to the neon sticky star shaped lights on the ceiling, still slightly glowing from the night before. In a warmth so cozy under my grandma's thick tiger Mexican blanket, I never wanted to leave. The yummy smell of the food crawling through to the bedroom. The sound of butter sizzling on the hot stove pans. The steam that was in the air from the cooking, which hit the sunlight so perfectly, capturing a beautiful morning. The tv roaring in the background on the news channel, which I never really cared to watch as a kid but still played every morning in the living room. My grandma would always make me the same meal for breakfast when I slept over. Warm, cinnamon french toast, golden crispy hashbrowns, fluffy cloud-like eggs, and a loving cup of delicious Abuelita hot chocolate to wash it all down.

# data[].attributes.body
She shaped me to become a good cook like her, which is a life skill I use every day. My grandma is the most boss woman I know. With her blue tattooed eyeliner and highlighted blond hair. Her infamous saying, "primero yo, luego yo, y final yo." Which can translate to me first, next me, and then finally me. She believed one should look after themselves, no matter what. She always held herself to a high standard and didn't take anything from anyone. People don't mess with her because they know how she respects herself. She always sticks up for her family and voices what is right. She might be a tiny 5-foot woman, but she sure is powerful. Her advice has formed me into the confident woman I am today.

# data[].attributes.body
When writing my narrative essay, I was going for a lighthearted and inspirational tone.

Introductory paragraph verbs: grew up, considered, started, annoy, and starting to see. Conclusion paragraph: made me realize, wanted to go, and attend school.

Introductory paragraph adjectives: older, younger, five of six, serious, more aware and noticed by older siblings. Conclusion paragraph adjectives: possibilities are endless, made me realize, and straight out of high school.

According to the dictionary, the conclusion gave almost the imprint of inspirational towards the end. The introductory paragraph gave more informational instead of lighthearted. For me I went ahead and changed a little bit of the conclusion I am still trying to figure out a better introduction. My new conclusion paragraph reads as: “In that moment; I realized that I did in fact want to go to college. I was unsure about my path after high school, but seeing her (my older sister) that that opportunity straight out of school showed me that possibilities are truly endless. I had a new motivation to keep pushing forward for myself.”

# data[].attributes.body
I would start reading and instantly become captivated. For me it felt surreal. I would come home into my room with bookshelves lined up against the walls, the smell of fresh wood pouring into my nose as soon as I entered. I would plop down onto my bed and then have the cotton blanket wrap around with the sun shining through the window and filling me with warmth and than I would start reading. Even though I would come home and the sun still stood tall when I finished reading the book the sun was nowhere to be found and the moon taking its place.

# data[].attributes.body
I feel like with both my intro and conclusion, that they convey the tone I am going for, which is appreciative, lighthearted, humorous, and nostalgic. But I was a ble to find some verbs that I like a bit better than the ones I chose.

Original:

"With nothing but the most loving respect in the world, I can say that Na'na was considered an old
woman, before I was born,she was considered getting up there in age when my parents met. This
wasn't something I ever registered as a kid, nothing at 6 years old allowed me the appifany of
how special and rare it was, that I got the opportunity to both regularly visit and hangout with not
just my great grandmother, but also my great grandaunt, my grandmother, my grandaunt, and
actually all of my cousins (2nd, and 3rd as well) on a near daily basis. When I was a child I didn't
have friends, I didn't need to, everything I needed was at my Na'na's house, food, friends, and
play."

revised:

With nothing but the dearest respect to my great grandmother, I need to let you know that my Na'na was old. Before I was born, she was considered "getting up there in age". This wasn't something I ever registered as a kid, nothing at 6 years old allowed me the appifany of
how memorable and priceless it would be for me now as a young adult, that I got the opportunity to both regularly visit and hang out with not just my great grandmother. But also my great grandaunt, my grandmother, my grandaunt, and my cousins. All my cousins, 2nd and 3rd included. On a near daily basis. When I was a child I didn't
have friends, I didn't need to, everything I needed was at my Na'na's house, food, friends, and
play.

-Andreas Salerno

# data[].attributes.body
As I opened the bedtime story book, the bright princess dresses and sparking crowns seemed to glow under the girls deemed nightlight, My daughters curious eyes glowing with wonder following every picture their laughter sounding like a soft melody i would love on repeat. The soft edges of the pages slid under my fingers as they leaned close, their warm pajama sleeves brushing against my arm. I could smell the sweet trace of strawberry and cream lotion and the crisp scent of freshly washed blankets as their giggles filled the space, making the room feel alive and safe.

# data[].attributes.body
This is my reaction to walking on the campus and into the buildings.

The first time I stepped foot at the UCLA campus, I was blown away. I was not prepared how massive the buildings looked like in person. I felt quite small as they towered over me, in their red-orange bricks. The warm spring sun shining down on them making them almost glow. Each building was different from the other, they had their own personality. Something about old buildings always fascinated me, it was like walking through history. The buildings stood for nearly a century at the time I laid my eyes on them. As I stepped foot inside the smell of fresh coffee, old books, freshly polished wood, and newly printed paper filled the air. As the students entered the classrooms the doors would creak and the desk would scratch the floor giving off a screeching noise that would echo in the small quiet classroom. You could run your fingers on the wooden desk trace the designs with your fingers feeling the smooth and rough parts of the old wood on the tip on your finger prints, and feel the presence of the students that came before.

# data[].attributes.body
Paragraph 1: This paragraph describes my introduction into reading and how I began to love it. It is meant to reveal my passion and what started it all kind of like an origin.

Paragraph 2: This paragraph describes how during covid and some personal problems. I had lost my passion for a lot of things including reading but after gaining the motivation to do it again I began to fall back into it. This is meant to show change and how even though some bad things may happen in life it doesn't outweigh the good ones and not to let bad things ruin your good ones.

Paragraph 3: My journey afterwards and now. It talks about after covid and how I still like reading even today it shows my feelings for reading still haven't wavered and I still very much enjoy it.

Somethings that I am repeating are certain words I can change this by substituting them out with synonyms.

I could make my last paragraph have more detail and explain the purpose on where I am at now in my life.

# data[].attributes.body
Paragraph 1: In this paragraph, I introduce the reader to my Na'na and her abode, along with the extended family that I frequently visited at her house. This paragraph should inform the reader about my appreciation and gratitude for my Na'na and the space she made that provided me with all my needs as a child.

Paragraph 2: In this paragraph, I write about the activities and games me and my cousins would play routinely in my Na'na's yard. This is to give the readers a look into my child hood in hopes to make them understand and see why it is a place that I hold dear to me.

Paragraph 3: In this paragraph I talk about my cousins and I's scramble to lunch, as well as touch on the adults, and the house itself. In this paragraph I look to conclude this small snapshot, which is to give readers an idea of what made this childhood home so special.

Although the fondness for the games I player are all to be cherished, I can cut out the portion about hide and seek, and a sentence here and there about "pomegranite ball", as it already makes the point of the other two games I write about, which is that we got up to all sorts of fun games when at Na'na's. It also takes away space to write about the house its self, its interior/exterior. The ultimate point I try to make by the end of the third paragraph, comes a bit quick and not much related preamble. I think that dedicating a small paragraph to the purpose of the narrative in general, which is the influence that my na'na's house had on me, would do well for the narrative as a whole.

# data[].attributes.body
With clothes stained
red of fruit juice, and dripping of hose water the smell of freshly wetted stone mixed with the scent of old tobacco that leeched into the entire front porch area, where the adults produced conversation and cigarette butts in equal number. Na'na who was always one of the adults out talking in the patio, would see our new ravenous expressions and, with a shrill chuckle, exclaim, "Wait by the front door and don't come in, you'll track water through the house, let me go git some towels so y'all can dry off." A wait and a half later and we were thrown a towel each, dried ourselves with supervision from the other adults, and with a countdown from Na'na "1...2...3...GO!", we were allowed in at once so we could scramble past the small entrance hall, with another one of Na'na's shrill chuckles being heard from behind, we'd screech around the right corner of the main hall, and quickly hop onto our lunch stools that stood in front of the kitchen half wall counter, where our feast of sharp cheddar and ham sandwiches would be made by Na'na, diagonally cut, with grapes, cherry tomatoes, and a juice box to accompany. Even though I didn't live here, the near-daily visits to my Na'na's house, my family's central hub, it really was my first home.

-Andreas Salerno

# data[].attributes.body
My personal narrative is one filled with adversity and tiny triumphs. I utilized words such as fateful, unsentimental, and emotional during my introduction. My conclusion included words like relatable, depth, and trust.

Paragraph 1: This paragraph describes where I was and how I ultimately felt after receiving the news of my grandmother's passing. This paragraph should help readers understand the magnitude this tragedy effected my motivations. I could get rid of mentioning that I had just visited my siblings. I can make my purpose clear by re-writing the last two sentences, providing more context the effects the event had on my writing.

Paragraph 2: This paragraph is providing background about where my love for writing originated, and how it blossomed. I could get rid of the word "gratification" because it made no difference after the traumatic event.

Paragraph 3: This paragraph describes how I created the work that changed my life, leading up to the traumatic event that further altered my life. This should help the reader understand how I wrote amid personal struggles, and the outcome was one to be shared and celebrated.

Paragraph 4: This paragraph describes some of the lyrics I've written and how they are connected to my feelings. This should help the reader understand the transition and connection between paragraph 3 and 4. I could mention what movies my grandmother introduced me to that inspired what I wrote, and how it made me feel pulling ideas from them.

Paragraph 5: This paragraph describes how my victory was short-lived, I lost motivation and eventually realized that I had to write to get it back. I could omit the mentioning of losing my job, car, etc. Now it seems like unnecessary and redundant information.

Paragraph 6: This paragraph describes the epiphany that I had. It details what I've realized about myself as a person and writer. I could add more sensory details in the conclusion.

# data[].attributes.body
I remember hanging out with my middle sister every afternoon in her room watching her do her make up . She would be on the floor mirror against the wall straightener plugged in , filling the room with the smell of hot metal heating up for when it was time to do her hair. I would pay attention to every detail I could the way she did her eyeliner , how she would mix 2 different foundations to get a good match of tone . The way she would apply her blush giving her a flush look to her face , heat up the eyelash curler so her lashes could last longer curled. Everything felt very feminine very fun like nothing outside of that room mattered

# data[].attributes.body
I remember it was sunny outside, and the sun was peeking through the curtains and reflecting off the tv while I watched a movie my sister put on so I'd leave her alone. I suddenly heard the garage door creaking open loudly and I ran so fast you could hear the thud of my feet hitting the ground as I rushed to open the door to greet my mom. I remember feeling so much excitement to see her my face hurt because I couldn't contain my smile. My heart was racing just eager for her to hurry out of her car so I could give her the biggest hug. She got out of the car but her energy was nothing like mine, and I was so excited I ran to her squeezing her tightly and just saying "I missed you, how was work, I love you so so much" I guess I didn't realize how strong I was coming off, and she just got frustrated that I was holding her so tight she couldn't move. she just said "okay okay Alexandra let go I'm tired." my heart sank, I felt a lump start to form in my throat but I tried to swallow it back down like it was one of those huge pills I was always scared to take, because I knew if I started to cry I would get in trouble because as her and my sisters always said "you're always crying for no reason." my stomach just turned and I felt a sudden wave of exhaustion. I went and sat back down watching the Disney movie I was only intended to watch so my sister could talk to her friends without me being in the way asking what she was doing every five seconds. that night I didn't eat much I was so hungry and the scent of the left over tamales we had made me feel even more hungry, but I just couldn't move, that wave of exhaustion didn't go away it was just a sense of not wanting to try or put in any effort I just remember wanting to go to sleep.

# data[].attributes.body
I remember walking into the coffee shop, soft pop music playing in the background and the strong smell of sweet coffee. I saw him sitting at a long, tall table ahead of me. He stood up to greet me, I remember just thinking to myself how tall he is and noticing his strikingly attractive features. I noticed his beautiful emerald green eyes and his wavy ash brown hair. We sat down at the tall table and I remember the chairs being hard and uncomfortable. I didn’t mind though because I loved being around him.

# data[].attributes.body
Choose a paragraph or scene where you describe yourself or another person. Now revise that section using indirect characterization. Show the reader what a person is like through actions, speech, thoughts, appearance, or effect on others, rather than just telling them.

First, identify a trait you want to show (e.g., confident, shy, impatient, kind):

Next, write 2–3 “showing” sentences that reveal this trait through one or more of the following:

Speech: What do they say?

Thoughts: What do they think?

Effect on others: How do people respond to them?

Actions: What do they do?

Looks: What do they look like?

Return to your draft and revise the relevant paragraph by replacing “telling” with “showing” sentences like these. Post your revised paragraph to this station.

# data[].attributes.body
For this station, create a reverse outline of your draft.

For each paragraph in your draft, complete the following:

In one sentence, summarize the key event, moment, or reflection in this paragraph.

Example: "This paragraph describes the moment I walked into the classroom on my first day at a new school."

In another sentence, explain what this part of your story is meant to reveal about your experience, identity, feelings, or growth.

Example: "This paragraph should help the reader understand how nervous and out of place I felt at the time."

Post your reverse outline to this station and answer the following questions (include these in your post as well):

What can you get rid of?

Where are you repeating yourself?

How can you make the purpose of your paragraphs clearer?

# data[].attributes.body
Tone is the overall mood conveyed by a narrative. Complete the tasks below:

First, think about a tone you want your narrative to convey: cheerful, inspirational, humorous, lighthearted, somber, etc. Write down the tone you want to convey.

Next, read the introductory and conclusion paragraphs from your personal narrative and list any verbs and adjectives from those paragraphs.

Then, look up the verbs and adjectives you listed in the dictionary and consider the following questions:

Do they convey the tone you want them to?

Can you change any of them to make them more precise? Which ones?

After exploring the above questions, rewrite either your intro or conclusion to convey a specific tone. Post your rewritten paragraph to this station.