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The LUVR (Listen, Understand, Validate, Repair) strategy provides a structure for conversation for resolving conflicts peacefully and respectfully. Each partner takes turns describing their perspective on the conflict.  Identify who will be the speaker and listener first, go through each step, and then trade roles.

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The speaker describes their point of view on the situation or conflict.

•The speaker describes how they are feeling using “I statements.” Refer to the feelings, trigger, or state of mind lists if needed.

• The listener listens with empathy. Feel free to take notes.

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Extend apologies and plan for repair.

•Reaffirm shared values, intentions or agreements.

• Identify what each person needs to feel safe and supported going forward.

• Reverse roles and repeat if needed.

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The listener summarizes the speaker's thoughts.

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The listener provides validation of the speaker’s point of view.

•Respond with empathy “I see how that landed for you.” or “Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing, I want to make things better for us.”