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Gary Gilles is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in private practice for over 20 years. He is also an adjunct faculty member at the University...Read More

Every person faces difficult, sometimes life-altering, events at various points in their life. These events might include the loss of a job, a serious illness, the death of a loved one, a natural disaster or other situations that bring unwanted changes. Some can even be traumatic. Your ability to cope with these stressful life events has much to do with how resilient you are.
What is Resilience?
Resilience is your ability to adapt to adversity or unexpected changes that occur in your life. Contrary to what many believe, resilience is not an inborn personality trait that some people naturally have and others lack. It's a learned skill. And that's good news because being resilient is one of the best ways to protect against the effects of stress. Since we can't completely avoid stress the goal of effective stress management is two-fold: exercise good decision-making over the things you can control in order to minimize self-imposed stress, while being resilient toward the stressors you can't control, such as sickness, accidents and losses.

But, if like a tree in the wind, you learn to bend, become flexible and adapt to the new challenges that emerge, you can find ways to not only survive but thrive.

Here are five ways you can begin to build resilience to stressful life events.

1. Seek out supportive relationships. One of best ways to adapt to life's challenges is to build and maintain positive and loving relationships. It's hard to overstate the importance of this type of support. When you're feeling stressed, discouraged or overwhelmed, turning to trusted people in your life can give you a renewed sense of strength and cut through any distorted thoughts you might have about your situation.

2. Practice good self-care. Your ability to be resilient under stress requires you to have emotional and physical reserves to draw upon. One of the most important ways to build these reserves is by practicing good self-care. Deliberate, conscious choices to care for your body, mind and relationships can help you manage even the big stressors in your life. Even if the stress temporarily knocks you down, you are more able to get up and keep going. How do you build up these reserves as a protective means against stress? Start with getting an adequate amount of sleep, eating nutritious food, making time for recreation and investing energy into people and activities that are in line with your values. The better you care for yourself, the more equipped you are to manage stress.

3. Be proactive against adversity. When you are proactive you create or cause something to happen rather than responding to it after it has happened. You strengthen your resiliency when you are proactive but you weaken it when you become passive and reactionary. Just like resiliency, being passive and reactionary is a learned response and one that you can change with practice. When you encounter adversity, figure out what needs to be done to move through it, make a concrete and realistic plan and take action. Continually set goals for the future to help propel you toward more action.

4. Build on your experience. Most people know when they feel stress but most do not learn from their experiences with stress management. How have you coped with hardship in the past? What skills and strategies have helped you through tough times? What approaches have not worked well? Write these down and make a conscious effort to apply what you know about yourself as you navigate future life challenges.

5. View adversity as normal. No one likes the fact that hardship, trauma, sorrow and pain are part of our lives. The question isn't whether we will experience adversity but how we will manage it. When you brace yourself against the winds of adversity in an effort to fight it, you can end up broken. The gale force winds are simply too strong at times. But, if like a tree in the wind, you learn to bend, become flexible and adapt to the new challenges that emerge, you can find ways to not only survive but thrive. And when you can learn to do that, you know that you have learned resilience.

Keep Reading By Author Gary Gilles, LCPC

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Build Up Your Resilience to Stressful Life Events

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Gary Gilles is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in private practice for over 20 years. He is also an adjunct faculty member at the University ...Read More Every person faces difficult, sometimes life-altering, events at various points in their life.

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Have difficulties adjusting or getting used to life following a recent stressful event and/or significant change in your life (e.g. serious illness, bereavement, a relationship ending, loss of employment)?

Find it hard to cope, plan ahead or continue with life after this stressful event or change?

Experience tension, anxiety or depressed mood as a result of this stressful event or change?

Suffer from physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach-aches, fatigue or dizziness in the time following this stressful event or change?

Feel like you do not want to be around other people or have difficulties with everyday activities since this stressful event or change?

If you find that you are experiencing some or all of the symptoms above then please read on.

What is Stress and what is the diagnosis of Adjustment Disorder?

Stress is the word that many people use when they are describing how the demands of their life seem to be increasingly difficult for them to cope with. For many, stress is the feeling of being under too much mental or emotional pressure and this can build up in various areas of our lives (e.g. work and relationships). The ability to cope with this pressure varies from person to person and what one person finds stressful may not be a problem for someone else.

Low levels of stress are normal, most of us experience this; this form of stress can be useful to us at times to help us focus on a goal or to highlight something that needs to change. However, on-going stress can cause problems and make us feel physically unwell. For more information on stress and how to manage it please click here.

Sometimes change can be much harder for a person to cope with and it is very difficult to carry on. When this goes beyond the usual range of difficulty it can be called an 'Adjustment Disorder'. This is a medical diagnosis which reflects the depth and intensity of the reaction, and indicates that the reaction has gone beyond what would usually be expected.

The problems can be in reaction to one or more significant and stressful events or life changes. These could include: bereavement, divorce, separation or a relationship ending, serious illness or health issues in yourself or among friends or family, loss of employment, financial hardships, moving to a different home, country or city or other unexpected catastrophes or general life changes. Such stressful life events or changes can affect you in a number of ways. You might:

Become distressed or preoccupied with the stressful event or life change

Feel low or depressed in mood

Feel anxious and worried

Feel overwhelmed or unable to cope

Experience physical symptoms (such as insomnia, headache, abdominal pain, chest pain, palpitations, tiredness, dizziness, muscle tension or pain, concentration difficulties, loss of appetite)

Feel socially withdrawn or unable to carry out everyday activities and notice an impact on your work or academic performance

Adjustment disorder can be acute, where it lasts for up to 6 months, or chronic (lasting for longer), when the stressful event or change has longer term consequences.

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Adjusting to difficult life events - iCope

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Have difficulties adjusting or getting used to life following a recent stressful event and/or significant change in your life (e.g. serious illness, bereavement, a relationship ending, loss of employment)? Find it hard to cope, plan ahead or continue with life after this stressful event or change?

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Advice and support for your mental health in life situations and events.

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Everybody, from time to time, has things that go wrong in their lives.

They could be money worries, job loss, a death, an accident, or the breakdown of a relationship. But sometimes even happy events like the birth of a baby or planning a wedding can cause you to feel down or depressed.

Here are some strategies to try if you are feeling low:

Talk with your family or friends - someone you trust and find reassuring can listen and help you work through your issues. You may also find it helpful to speak to someone from a counselling service. Speak with your doctor who can refer you to one.

If you need to cry, then cry - don't feel embarrassed. Crying relieves tension and can help you 'move on'.

Keep communicating - if a relationship with a partner or family member is causing problems, talk to them and try to resolve any issues. You may also find it helpful to talk to someone from a specialist organisation such as Relationships Australia.

Stick to your routine - keeping up with your usual work and home life can help take your mind off your worries. Try to resist the urge to stay in bed all day - get up and go about your usual activities if you can.

Keep a diary - write down what you'd like to achieve each day, and tick off what you get done. Focus on all the positive things you do. Don't be hard on yourself if you don't achieve all you had planned. You can begin again tomorrow.

Practise relaxation.

Look after yourself - make sure you are eating healthily and getting enough sleep. Cut back on alcohol and drugs.

Exercise - spend time outdoors.

Take time out to do something you enjoy.

Where to get help

If you need help, talking to your doctor is a good place to start. If you'd like to find out more or talk to someone else, here are some organisations that can help:

MindSpot Clinic (anyone suffering from anxiety or depression) - call 1800 61 44 34.

Beyond Blue (anyone feeling depressed or anxious) - call 1300 22 4636 or chat online.

Black Dog Institute (people affected by depression and extreme mood swings) - online help.

Lifeline (anyone experiencing a crisis or thinking about suicide) - call 13 11 14 or chat online. You can also access Lifeline's Coping Kit for more strategies.

Suicide Call Back Service (anyone thinking about suicide) - call 1300 659 467.

Learn more here about the development and quality assurance of healthdirect content.

Last reviewed: October 2020

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Everybody, from time to time, has things that go wrong in their lives. They could be money worries, job loss, a death, an accident, or the breakdown of a relationship. But sometimes even happy events like the birth of a baby or planning a wedding can cause you to feel down or depressed.

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Tips to Look After Your Mental Health During Scary World Events

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Tips to Look After Your Mental Health During Scary World Events

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Scary world news can affect our mental health. After learning about global events that cause uncertainty, you may feel fear, anxiety or a loss of control over your own life and plans. You may worry for the safety of strangers, loved ones or yourself. And if you have lived through similar events in the past, it may bring up traumatic memories.

Know that whatever you feel is valid. Know that we care about you and your mental health. And know that you are not alone in this.
We have created some advice to help you cope and support your loved ones during these uncertain times.
Stay informed, but be aware of your limits

Ask yourself, "how much information and scary world news am I currently taking in? And how does it make me feel?"

If it's having a negative effect on how you feel, try to:

take a short break from the news

mute or turn off news notifications on your smartphone

mute or unfollow social media accounts that are reporting on it

or limit your news intake to once a day

After you've had a break, ask yourself "how do I feel now that I've had a space from the news?"

If you find that the break has helped, then try to continue:

to stay informed in bitesize portions

to take space from the news when you need to

to pause and check in on how you feel

to engage with different social media platforms based on how they make you feel

Over and above those, try to be intentional in how you are consuming news, and, as much as you can, avoid long 'scrolling through' sessions.

Try to accept that, although we may want to help or change the current global and national situation, some of these things may be out of our control.

We talk about ways that you can meaningfully engage or feel empowered in the sections below.

Engage with your community in a meaningful way

If the uncertainty surrounding the news is bringing about feelings of fear and isolation, remember that there are always other people that are feeling the exact same way right now and that there are things that we can do to tackle this.

Something you can do to tackle these feelings is to connect with your local community. This can help you to feel more empowered, connected and less alone.

Connect with your local community by:

getting involved in local volunteering opportunities

joining local grassroots campaigns, or community groups working on issues that are important to you

joining a local Facebook group or Meet Ups to connect with people in your local area

Humans are neurologically wired to connect with others. Helping others and engaging with our local community in a meaningful way is good for our mental health.

Empower your voice

You may feel powerless if you have opinions on what is happening in the world but remain silent. And you may feel powerless if you don't know what to do with your opinions or passion for change.

Here are some ways that you can empower your voice and feel less out of control:

explore ways to be engaged in a political community

take part in a peaceful organised rally

join relevant events or debates.

Civic and political activism may make you feel more empowered and give you an avenue to express your thoughts in a constructive way.

When talking to other people about world news, if a topic comes up which you disagree on, try to focus on active listening, respectful discussion and assertive communication. Being drawn into highly polarised or disrespectful conversations usually has an adverse effect on our wellbeing.

If a comment upsets you, try to take a break, pause the conversation and come back when you feel ready.

Don't bottle it up

When you feel overwhelmed, try to reach out for support. There are people and organisations that want to help:

You could also try to express how you are feeling through creativity. You could write in a journal, listen to an emotive song, draw or dance. Express in a way that feels right for you. Try to stay with those activities for at least a few minutes to unlock their protective effects on your wellbeing.

Look after your mental health

Try to keep allocating time to things, activities and actions that are good for your mental health.

What works will be different for each person, so tune into what is right for you. Here are a few things to get your started. Try to:

All of these can help you to feel better and to take your mind off the stress of the news cycle.

Finally, if you feel that scary world news is affecting your children, then use our guide to talking to your children about scary world news to help you have open and honest conversations at home.

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Tips to look after your mental health during scary world events

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Scary world news can affect our mental health. After learning about global events that cause uncertainty, you may feel fear, anxiety or a loss of control over your own life and plans.

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What Is "Trauma" - and How to Cope With It

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Transforming STRESSFUL Life Events into MOTIVATION | Jim Kwik & Dr. Don Wood

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How to get through Hard Times | Jason Redman | TEDxBeaconStreet