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Stage 1: Trust vs. Mistrust (newborn to one year)

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Stage 1: Trust vs. Mistrust (newborn to one year)

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At this stage, trust or mistrust is developed based on the kind of care that an infant age newborn to one receives. If the child has a caregiver that is loving, soothing, get's fed until full and held for comfort, that child will develop trust.  Mistrust develops from an opposite environment.  If the infant begs to be comforted and soothed and isn't, or if the child isn't nourished properly or woken from sleep by disturbances, this infant will earn to mistrust their caregivers and their environment.

I developed trust during this stage. My mother was a stay-at-home mom and was very attentive.  When I would cry or be upset, she would immediately pick me up and console me. This built a trusting relationship between my mom and myself. This translated into my toddler years, and I was a very curious and confident child.

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Stage 2: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt (one to two years)

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Stage 2: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt (one to two years)

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This stage develops autonomy or shame and guilt depending on if the toddler age one to two is given, guided through, and praised for their choices and trying to learn new skills. Autonomy develops in an environment of a caregiver who is patient and encouraging through difficult new tasks and meet the child's want for control with choices and boundaries.  Shame and doubt develops when a caregiver scolds or tries to control the environment of the toddler to the point of suppressing the toddlers wants or needs.

My mother gave me the chore of putting the laundry in and out of the baskets, washer and dryer. Giving me this chore helped foster my autonomy. This helped me understand that I was capable of doing my own things.  This early job along with my natural want to be independent set the groundwork for my initiative and independence later in life.

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Stage 3: Initiative vs. Guilt (three to six years)

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Stage 3: Initiative vs. Guilt (three to six years)

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The development of initiative or guilt in stage 3 relies someone on what was developed in stage 2.  All of the stages will build upon what was developed in previous stages however, in this stage, if the caregiver continues to provide an environment of healthy and age appropriate choice where the child can safely test out their limits to meet their own needs, the child will develop the initiative to plan and execute their ideas.  Pretend play is essential at this age to allow the child to act out their roles and test themselves. If however, the caregiver has in the past shamed and scolded the child, the child will build on their own shame and doubt and turn it into guilt for have any needs and wants. The child will be hesitant to grow any sort of independence or act out with hitting to convey their frustration.

My mother gave me the space to be very independent and always wanted to do things for myself.  She would allow me to climb onto the countertops, even when other parents would be afraid of my falling, to grab snacks, cups or other items from the higher up cabinets. Fostering my independence gave me confidence in doing my own things.

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Stage 4: Industry vs. Inferiority (seven to ten years)

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Stage 4: Industry vs. Inferiority (seven to ten years)

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This stage focuses on a Childs ability to develop a sense of competence at useful skills and tasks.  Mainly, their ability to excel and achieve at something they focus on.  When a child is presented with a challenge that they complete, they should be given another challenge allowing them to continue growth.  If this process is too difficult for the child or met with major resistance, the child might develop a sense of inferiority.  On the other hand, excelling in tasks promotes positive cooperation, self esteem, and moral responsibility.

My elementary school years helped my self-confidence grow.  I entered school early and was the youngest person in my grade yet I was the fastest at math and reading.  When we would play the game around the world with math flash cards, I would always go the furthest.  This gave me confidence to excel academically.

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Stage 5: Identity vs. Role Confusion (eleven to nineteen years)

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Stage 5: Identity vs. Role Confusion (eleven to nineteen years)

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This stage is crucial for you to build your self identity and construct who you are, what you believe, what you value, and what you want to pursue in life. This process involves inner searching to establish what believes and lessons from early stages will solidify into a mature identity. The process of exploration and commitment help this happen. If however, the individual does not have a strong foundation or their earlier stages were met with negativity, these individuals might develop role confusion and be unprepared for adulthood.

My father had a stroke when I was 16 years old.  Before that, he was an alcoholic who I was forced to take care of and assume the “parent” role. I believe this situation did not allow me to achieve my full identity.  While in some ways, I excelled in taking on adult tasks, I was also not able to focus on myself and my own growth.  Never being able to do the “soul searching” led to a bit of an identity crisis when my father died 2 years later and so much of my time was spent focusing on holding myself back and taking care of him.

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Stage 6: Intimacy vs. Isolation (twenty to forty-four years)

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Stage 6: Intimacy vs. Isolation (twenty to forty-four years)

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This stage in life is about building intimate relationships. If your expressions of love are met with openness, this could facilitate the building of a relationship. If however, these expressions are met with judgment and rejections, a person could begin to isolate themselves from building and maintaining healthy intimate relationships.

I am currently going through a divorce and my marriage was very isolating from myself and from my friends.  This is leading to a part in my life where I am questioning love and intimacy and it is incredibly lonely. This could lead to trouble forming intimate relationships in the future.

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Stage 7: Generativity vs. Stagnation (forty-five to sixty-four years)

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Stage 7: Generativity vs. Stagnation (forty-five to sixty-four years)

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This stage is all about building the things in life that make you feel accomplished. Generativity is concerned with building something for the next generation through activities such as child rearing, civic and social responsibilities.  Working towards bettering society in various ways will help one feel accomplished.  On the contrary, being self-centered or removed from helping society can lead to one feeling stagnation.

At this stage, I will be an established teacher and contributing to raising the youth as well as guiding my own children through their middle childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.

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Stage 8: Integrity vs. Despair (sixty-five and above)

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Stage 8: Integrity vs. Despair (sixty-five and above)

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This last stage is mostly about reflection.  In this stage, challenges of getting old, health and the slower pace of life tend to bring out qualities learned in earlier stages.  Those qualities will impact how you look back and view how you lived your life and how your life will end.  If you can look back at your life and see a life well-lived, you will have integrity.  If you fear death and feel like your life was wasted you would have despair.

At this stage, I am hoping to have a loving partner that we can grow old with and watch our children and grandchildren grow while also feeling accomplished in my career as a teacher and my life goals. Thus leading me to a well-lived life.