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Lubos ang aming pasasalamat sa lahat ng nagbigay-oras. Bumubukal ang aming tuwa na binigyan niyo kaming lahat, ang bawat isa, ng pagkakataong mapakinggan ang mga nilalaman ng inyong isipan at kalooban. Nawa'y hindi natin makalimutan na may lugar kayong masisilungan sa mga panahong malakas ang buhos ng ulan.

Kapit ka lang, nasa ating mga kamay pa ang laban.

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I think we are all just like the ocean. We are
all just plain blue on the out side. When the
sun is out we shine greatly and we are happy
and then when a storm comes we express a
different side where we all have different
emotional waves that come crashing down
that we don't really expect. And we have a
unique, beautiful inside with different stories
and emotional levels that we let people into.
But as you go farther down beneath just the
surface we have different zones that we let
different people into based on how much trust
is there and then you get to the deeper,
darker, sadder part where most don't know
about. And we have our Mariana Trench where
no one can go down because it's just too far
out of reach and we don't let anyone in
because we think we might get judged if we
let someone that far in where all the truth
really hides. Some of us know the real us is down
there but we are just too tired of all the
problems we might have had when we just
let someone in that deep dark sacred place.

i cannot express how much i love this song and how much it has helped me cope while writing about this.

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she didn't say yes

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Ayoko na. Nakakawalang gana mag aral if ganto kahihinatnan ng bansa. This was so much bigger than me and it's doomed. Walang wala na akong motivation. I thought the good were supposed to win?

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I find it so difficult to find hope during this difficult moment. I don't know paano ako makakabangon, paano kami makakabangon, paano tayo makakabangon. Mahirap sabihin sa ibang tao na kumapit lang dahil ni ako hindi ko na magawang kumapit.

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These days, every time I read a soc med post, sobrang nagshishift bigla ang mood ko. From anger sa mga fanatics, sadness sa mga abonado at hindi nailaban, apathy para sa Pilipinas to hope upang patuloy na lumaban. I know na hindi pa nga ganoon ka-stable ang mental health ko at di pa ako nakakamove-on sa elections.

I hope in the end, makahanap muli ako ng inspirasyon upang patuloy na lumaban... para sa bayan!! 💟

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It's tiring to be the one everyone depends on but also the one who has nobody to lean on :'

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Sobra na akong unmotivated mag-aral lalo na ngayong second sem. Dati, magkaroon man ako ng backlogs pero natatapos ko 'to within a week, pero ngayon malapit nang matapos ang sem pero ang dami ko pang kailangang tapusin. And, nahihirapan na rin ako sa course ko. Hindi ko alam if ito ba talaga yung gusto ko. Ang hirap lang kasi, may part sa akin na gusto ko magshift pero hindi ko naman alam kung saan and minsan naiisip ko rin na gusto ko naman 'to, sadyang hindi ko lang maappreciate yung course since hindi naman conducive yung learning environment ko. Kaya sobra akong naiinggit sa iba na alam nila kung ano yung gusto nilang gawin sa buhay. Kasi kahit na mahirap, alam kong may motivation sila para matapos yung course nila kasi masaya sila doon.

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Pilipinas, minsan ang hirap hirap mo talagang mahalin. Ngunit patuloy pa rin kitang ipaglalaban at pipiliin.

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During the pandemic, I've thought a lot about myself. Whether I really deserve to have a good education and all the privileges I get. I want to stop having all these bad thoughts, but sometimes I just can't. Now that it's finals month, school works are falling all over the place, and I feel like I'm being suffocated. I don't have the energy to do anything. I'm so tired I can't think.

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I had a breakdown kahapon. The election results slowly sank into my brain, but I still can't accept them. I blamed myself for not being active enough to inform people regarding the disinformation spreading on social media. I blamed myself for not convincing my relatives about the faults of the candidate they voted for. I am a coward. I was scared that if I talked and rebutted their arguments it would result in to fight and I don't want that to happen in my family.  I am sorry I did not give my all to the country.

Pagod na ako.

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Recently, I have been unmotivated to do any work despite it being finals. There are so many requirements that have piled up, but I barely started any of them. I think the elections and online set-up has been hard on my mental health. Sometimes I just want to sleep and not work. I'm tired.

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Kumusta ka?

Marahil ramdam nating pareho ang bigat ng mga nakaraang linggo at araw. Mahirap maisip kung saan nga ba patungo ang lahat, kung may patutunguhan pa nga ba.

Ngunit naniniwala ako, na kahit hindi man kita lubusang makilala, hindi ko lubusang mailagay ang aking sarili sa iyong mga paa, sapat na mapakinggan ko ang mga tintakbo ng iyong isipan.

Susubukan namin, sa abot ng aming makakaya, na magbigay-payo at kasagutan sa iyong mga sinambit. Ngunit naniniwala kami, na maaari mo kaming matulungan. Maaari mo ring pakinggan ang ibang naglahad ng mga tinatakbo ng kanilang isipan.

Salamat, kapit ka lang.

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So many 🤬 things to do and I just can't anymore

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So many 🤬 things to do and I just can't anymore

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🤬 everything

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In these trying times, the least we could do is to listen to what you have to say. Let this virtual space comfort you for a moment.

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These past few weeks I have been very much out of focus. I feel like whenever I will submit any work, I didn't do it justice. I kept telling myself that it's just for the sake of keeping up with the deadlines that I do things.

Being at this state makes me question whether I've really learned anything. It makes me feel terrible, as a student and as a scholar, because I'm provided with a chance to have a prime education, and yet with the outputs I produce, I'm not doing any justice.

I miss the times where I was genuinely eager to learn, and I was confident with every work I'd pull off. Perhaps the things I do are only to judge me for my academic performance, yet I know to myself that they reflect the flames of my passion, dwindling down to ashes.

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For me, this week was the most stressful of the whole year. Mula pa sa results ng election, sa mga nangyari matapos ang election, sa mga requirements na naipon dahil sa anxiety na dala ng election. Kahit na hindi ako ganoon kaapektado sa naging resulta ng election, hindi pa rin ako mapanatag lalo na't alam ko na hindi lamang ako ang maaapektuhan ng mga maling desisyon ng iba. Kapag nakakatapos ako ng mga gawain o ng mga requirements ko dati, palagi akong may nafifeel na spark at motivation para gumawa pa ng ibang bagay. Ngayon, parang pinipilit ko na lang ang sarili ko na gumawa ng mga dapat kong gawin sa bansang hindi pinapahalagahan ang edukasyon. Nakakapagod. Nakakaiyak. Pero kailangan ko magpatuloy dahil maraming tao ang naniniwala sa akin. Sana ay makamit na natin ang liwanag.

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"Kalaban ang kalaban, kalaban ang kakampi. Nakakapagod." Wala na akong pangarap dahil sa mga nangyayari sa paligid. Ewan bahala na si Batman.

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There are times when I just wish I had been reborn as someone who is productive and helpful because I often manifest my flaws that can be harmful to me and to others, although mostly, it only harms me. Those flaws I have yet to suppress and overcome since I am but a naive person whose only specialty is to procrastinate all the time if not often. I really want to contribute to big project in school and at home but my flaws are in the way, I dislike the idea that i get exempted because of it. I also want to call out for help, but I always think that it may compromise my overall image to others, especially my loved ones or the ones that I care for. I am calling out for help through this message but I also want to help the ones who arranged this project since they are also essential in building strong relationships within any community. I really appreciate what they do and I hope that this can help them in every way possible. I am once again thankful for this. I may be sad but it all seems to fade away when I know I can also help people in my own way; it may be directly or indirectly.

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Sometimes, I wish that my mind is as clear as the sky.

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It's never too late. There's always another day.