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After birth, until around 18 months, is when a child goes through their very first crisis, the first stage of development. When a child is given enough love to feel safe and comfortable is when the child goes through this first stage to decide on trust or mistrust with parents, or other family members in the household.

My mother holding me tightly every day and night providing comfort and care helped me resolve this crisis with trust. My mother was always there. As a stay at home mom she fed us, bathed us, held us, played with us, and gave us unconditional love all of the time. If I, or my siblings cried, she was there to provide whatever we needed.

"A healthy outcome during infancy, Erikson believed, depends on the quality of caregiving: relieving discomfort promptly and sensitively, holding the infant gently."

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During this stage, children ages 2-3, want to become independent. How the parent responds is how the outcome is resolved. Children will choose autonomy when the parents are supportive and praise children for attempting new skills even if it is not done correctly. Children will choose shame and doubt when parents judge or criticize children attempting new tasks.

When I was a child, my mom was a bit over controlling. She did not allow us to do much on our own in fear of us getting hurt or making a mess. I think she did not want to see us a fail so she did not give opportunity for failure. Because of this, I resolved this issue with more shame and doubt over autonomy.

"When parents are over-or undercontrolling, the out-come is a child who feels forced and shamed and who doubts his ability to control impulses and act competently on his own."

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During this stage, ages 3-5, make believe play becomes more realistic. Instead of pushing toy cars or stacking blocks children start to play like they are in a specific role. For example, a group of kids playing "house," someone plays the mom, someone plays the dad, someone plays the sibling. In another example, children will play "work," as jobs that they see in their lives so for America this could include doctors, policemen, firefighters, vets, teachers, dentists, etc.

Through this crisis, I learned very quickly to take control and be responsible. When playing with friends, I always made up the game, made up the rules and assigned the roles, (i.e. "Ill play the older sister you play the younger sister." I chose initiative.

"Play creates a small social organization of children who try out meaningful roles and skills and who must cooperate to achieve common goals."

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In this crisis, children, ages 6-11, are learning how to build confidence and social relationships, or low self esteem and a sense of failure. Children who choose industry have confidence in the things they do, they take pride in accomplishments, work well in group with peers, and builds social relationships. Children who choose inferiority typically think they aren't good at anything and stay away from trying new things for fear of failure.

When I first started school in Kindergarten all the way through fifth grade, I always excelled in academics, I was proud when I would have the highest lexile score or be able to finish the book the fastest in the room. I also had many friends. It was easy for me to go up to other children in the lunchroom or recess and ask they wanted to hang out with me and my friends. My best friend and I liked to draw and loved art in school and mine was always better, although I would never say it or show it because I would never want to hurt her feelings, this definitely gave me a feeling of accomplishment and pride. I chose industry.

"Erikson’s sense of industry combines several developments of middle childhood: a positive but realistic self-concept, pride in accomplishment, moral responsibility, and cooperative participation with agemates"

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Between the ages of 12-18, teenagers go through an identity crisis. Where do I fit in? What do I plan to do? Who am I? Some teenagers choose identity easily, they have a plan on where to go to college, what for, what job they want, where they want to involve themselves in. These teenagers likely have support from friends and family to explore and try new things out to see what they do and do not like. On the other hand is role confusion, this is where teenagers do not have much access to branch out and see where they belong. It takes longer for them to know what they want to do in life.

As a teenager, I felt trapped a lot of the time. I thought I had an idea of who I wanted to be and my mom would shelter me and not allow me to explore, and when I did, I would get in trouble. This created a lot of self doubt and I believe a stunt in my now adulthood not knowing where I want to be or who I want to be. During those years when I would get in trouble I began to drift apart from everyone around me and indulge myself in self help books and very spiritual books, chakras, crystals, meditation, tarot readings to help me figure it out. I developed role confusion.

"They go through a process of inner soul-searching, sifting through characteristics that defined the self in childhood and combining them with emerging traits, capacities, and commitments."

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Stage 6 of the developmental stages occurs between the ages of 19-40. In this stage the crisis adults endure is will I be loved? Am I capable of being loved? When intimacy occurs you have bonds and feel loved from people outside of your family. When isolation occurs, you feel a sense of hopelessness that no one will ever love you or that you are hard to love.

From the age of 16, I have been in a romantic relationship with the love of my life. I have also kept my dearest, closest friends from school which have become intimate relationships. I don't have to try to love them and I feel the same in return. Our love to one another is effortless and unconditional.

"While the word intimacy is closely associated with sex for many, it encompasses much more than that. Erikson described intimate relationships as those characterized by closeness, honesty, and love." (Cherry, 2020)

REFERENCES
Cherry, Kendra, Nov. 4, 2020, Intimacy vs. Isolation: Psychosocial Stage 6, https://www.verywellmind.com/intimacy-versus-isolation-2795739

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This crisis is also known as the midlife crisis most people experience within the ages of 40-65. It consists of either wanting to "make something out of your life" or to "leave your mark." Adults will want to give to charities or make more/better connections with their children and family. On the other hand, adults will feel like they've done nothing with their life and focus more on the regrets they did not do such as go to college or pick the career they wanted. Most of the times in this case people will isolate themselves and put their own needs above others.

Going through this phase himself, my dad is choosing generativity. He is growing his connection with myself and my brother, doing anything and everything he can for us. While he has some regrets of not going to the college he wanted and choosing a "safer" career path, he still is making more efforts in his relationship with us kids.

"Generativity refers to "making your mark" on the world by caring for others." (Cherry, 2022)

REFERENCE
Cherry, Kendra, February 15, 2022,

Generativity vs. Stagnation in Psychosocial Development, https://www.verywellmind.com/generativity-versus-stagnation-2795734

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The final stage of development starts around age 65 and lasts until death. In this final crisis, adults are reflecting on their life. Did they live a good life? Are they proud of what they've done? If the answer is yes, they have come to integrity of their life, they are happy and at peace. If the answer is no, they are likely in despair and are full of regrets.

My grandpa has decided on integrity. He has made many good choices and still believes they were the right choices. As a young adult, he made the decision to move to the States from South America to attend a better university and have more opportunities. Here, he met his first wife and had 3 kids who he is very proud of in all their accomplishments, as well as his grandchildren from them. He later met his second, and current wife who he has been with for decades and had a fourth child, whom he is equally as proud of.

"Integrity refers to a person's ability to look back on their life with a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment." (Cherry, 2021)

REFERENCE
Cherry, Kendra, April 21, 2021,

Integrity vs. Despair in Psychosocial Development, https://www.verywellmind.com/integrity-versus-despair-2795738