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Hey Frankie! A strength of your work “PlayStation: Arrival Of Entertainment” is the fact your slides are indeed very unique. as your slides are using bullet points instead of explaining like most slides. You don’t have a repetitive word choice as well. I also applaud you for being able to state your sources. And the links are actually working, and aren’t just text. Your hook was able to meet the hook requirements. like for example “Do you ___”, It 100% was able to hook me in as the reader. You have truly acceded my expectations.

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One star of your timed essay was how you used different word choice for everything it almost seemed like you never used the same word throughout your piece. Another star was how you really show your claim in your evedence such as when your evidence says “Bad consequences always  discovering a way to return back” which is just what you evidence says.
One wish is that you didn’t have that much info in your sum it up

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Hello, Francisco! First off, your word choice is very sophisticated, like for example: “Conveys”, “Karma”, “Demonstrate”. Your transitions help the reader know that it is the next part, like for example: “Given The Information”. Although I suggest you perhaps add a bit more transitions and use the roman font, 1.5 spacing.

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Hi, Frankie One of the best parts of your essay “Video Games The Gateway Of A New Solution” was how much you referred to scientists about the facts. It really helped me believe that video games can be good for people. As you continue to explain you mention all the types of video games and how they benefit every aspect of the human brain and body. I also enjoyed the wise quote at the end. For me it was a nice touch to finish off with not only this but I found almost no errors at the end paragraph. Something that you could add is better “anecdote”. I personally did not feel like there was any at all. It seemed like more of an example rather than a story.

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Hi, Frankie One of the best parts of your essay “Video Games The Gateway Of A New Solution” was how much you referred to scientists about the facts. It really helped me believe that video games can be good for people. As you continue to explain you mention all the types of video games and how they benefit every aspect of the human brain and body. I also enjoyed the wise quote at the end. For me it was a nice touch to finish off with not only this but I found almost no errors at the end paragraph. Something that you could add is better “anecdote”. I personally did not feel like there was any at all. It seemed like more of an example rather than a story.

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One star of your cees piece was the was the way the claim hooked me and kept me there the whole time i was reading such as then you put “many animal rights groups believe that sea creatures become extremely aggressive while in captivity, this could lead to the death of other sea life in their containment.” Another star was during your explanation you showed first hand how these animals could be and are mistreated like when you said The orcas do not have much room to swim around and are usually alone and put in separate cages. They are withering, decaying and slowly dying, because of the limited amount of habitat and the amount of sadness they must be going through. I could only think that maybe if you added a little more about the real experiences that’s the animals went through as that part was really good.

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A strength of your narrative, “The Dark Mystery at Auntie’s Manor” was really good. One thing you did good was describing the setting in the beginning of the story. It was like I was Sally myself. Another thing that was great was your ending. I really liked to see the flashforward in that piece. I wonder what she saw? One thing that I think you should work on is how you described the story. I was getting lost here and there, but great job so far!

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I really liked how many sensory details you put in and I really liked how your story mad it feel like i was there

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One thing I wish you did was not make the story end on a cliff hanger

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A strength of your memoir a dark mystery at Auntys mayor was the way you showed characters emotions and how they felt such as lines like “why a vase, and why so big” and “finally finally FINALLY” these lines showed great emotion.

As well i really liked how you made the characters all unique and different from each other with the aunt being much different them the other characters. Yet i did feel like a couple areas of your memoir were slightly rushed and happened too fast but other them that the rest of this memoir was great.

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You did really well on your memoir! One strength in your memoir “A Peanuts-Sized Problem” is your figurative language. I think you expanded upon your figurative language. You included many types of figurative language. Another strength of your memoir was your beginning. I like how you started right into the action. You were also using action words and jumped right into the story. Something you might still need to work on is your ending. I think you could’ve done better because it was all an inner thought and I didn’t really see the moral to the story.