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hello. my name's saph / grey. i'm nonbinary. she/he/they. i'm also a biromantic asexual (sex-neutral).

i'm writing this as a space to get things out of my head. good or bad, depends. i've seen niko and mars do this and i thought i might try it. see how i feel about it.

i'm diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, anxiety and depression. i've looked into things for myself, and i believe i've also got PTSD, C-PTSD and OCD. i have a skin condition that makes me look like i have goosebumps or pimples. (keratosis pilaris or strawberry skin) i'm also a socio-psychopath, and have been admitted to wards because of my outbursts. i put my cousin in the ICU for 3 months the first time i had a psychotic break. i go into little space. when this happens, please refer to me as max. i also have suffered from anorexia. eating disorders are serious things, don't joke about them, please.

i'm an aquarius on the capricorn cusp. january 25th. i'm 17. my parents were never married, but are separated now. i have a sister, a step-brother and two half brothers. depending on the context, i can talk about my mom. if it's negative, it's generally my birth mom, if it's my stepmom in those cases, i'll specify. positively, i talk about my stepmom. (my real mom)

um. i look like my mom. its a source of self-loathing, but we'll work on it. i have a few friends, not many as i'm an antisocial, socially awkward bass-ackwards person. they include mae, mars, dex (though we don't talk anymore, probably bc i changed acct names and shit), niko, and des. i have more in person, but none of you will know them.

some things i like: harry potter (fuck jk rowling), beastars, boku no hero academia, umbrella academy, wednesday, criminal minds, NCIS, reading, art, music, singing, writing, sugary foods, the colours red, green, grey, black, and blue.

some things i don't like: asshole people (i had to say it. if you're gonna be an ass, get out.), being deadnamed, gross bugs (like centipedes and beetles. i like bugs that are cool to look at but i swear to god bring it near me and i'll lose my shit lol), seafood (that's just gross, my opinion. don't attack me), making mistakes, being talked over or left behind, needles.

triggers: um. needles. definitely needles. which is funny considering i want tattoos. shots are awful. yelling (directed at me in an angry way), being swung at. don't come up from behind me if you know me irl, i will most definitely try to hurt you. it's a ptsd thing, i've been sa'd. mentions or jokes about sexual assault. small rooms where i'm confined with a lot of people (classrooms are fine, but assemblies and parties can set me off). unexpected loud noises, like yelling, screaming, fireworks (it's a hit or miss. 4th of july is fine? the rest of the time it scares the fuck out of me.).

um. i think that's it for this category/thing.

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do not expose me for being underage on any of these, particularly tumblr. i can responsibly write and read adult content and i swear to god if you ruin that for me i will hunt you down.

tumblr: @spencerreidslittleslut (currently inactive i need to reset the password.) @softlyfallinqq (currently inactive). i have a third that i dont remember the tag for and need to reset the password. whatever :)

wattpad: @DracosDragoness (i'm rarely active here, i havent updated or even read in forever.)

i also have tiktok, snapchat and discord but i'm not adding them right now.

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just writing this down because i feel it's important.

leave your knuckle on the outside. if you tuck it into the fist, it can result in a broken thumb upon impact. wear rings to cut open the face. keep your arms close to your body, it takes less time to pull back from a punch. aim for the nose. it's disorienting and can be blinding for an opponent because of the nerves between the eyes. plus, they generally stumble back and go to cup the bleeding and or broken nose.

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sawarasenai🥰kimi😸wa⛓shoujo👻na💅no✨bökù🌸wâ🧚ÿariçhiñ🤴bįcchī😾ńo😩osû🚣dà🎉yo💦

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nobody believes in you. you’ve lost again, and again, and again. the lights are cut off, but you still are looking at your dream, reviewing it every day and say to yourself, 'IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL I WIN!”

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fuck you then, we don't need you hoes. I-C-P, forever with the juggalos.

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february fifteenth:

https://youtu.be/n-c8iTdLIhc THIS- THIS RIGHT HERE IS MY FUCKING SPIRIT ANIMAL.

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febrary fifteenth:

in response to my friend liz:
(what do you wanna do now?)

listen to "old-people music" and vibe with the 80's-90's :)

(nah i'll pass :) i'll go back to my depression music)

but it’s so awesome they have earth wind and fire and synthesizers and and and they have good dance music :)

(i just am trying to make myself cry now- it's good for my soul)

me: *still vibing asf to earth, wind & fire and michael jackson and ABBA and Queen and Cyndi Lauper and the Spice Girls*

i have such an old soul bc my dad was raised with vinyl records and casettes and mixtapes and CDs and classical and rock and all that shit so i was raised with that mixed with indie shit like Neon Trees and Dave Matthews Band and Jack Johnson and if you dont know who those artists are i feel sad for your soul and you need to go look up "everybody talks by neon trees" it's their most popular song and then you need to delve into their other music. and Dave Matthews and Jack Johnson are cool too, go culture yourself today.

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march seventh:

bro my brain runs at the speed of a ferrarri with the brakes of a tricycle ;-;

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WHO WOULD WIN?

a carefully put together argument that is well researched and backed with irrefutable evidence

NUH-UH