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In Search of Happiness: Relative and Absolute Solutions

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This article was originally published in Russian on December 29, 2014, in Eros and Kosmos magazine. This is a slightly corrected version.

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Embodiment Unlimited's main YouTube channel. Embodiment, coaching, trauma, etc

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Many leadership books present models for thinking and speaking, but very few address the role of the body in leading effectively. Yet, a great deal of the effect we have on others is carried by our physical presence. Our body postures hold the key to lowering emotional reactivity, while increasing our power, resilience and flexibility. Leadership Embodiment delivers a practical "user's guide" for effective embodied leadership, enabling practitioners to:*Project a powerful, open and expansive leadership presence *Create an inclusive atmosphere for collaboration and team work *Receive feedback and listen from a place of open curiosity, and*Stand their ground and speak the truth in the face of pressureLeadership Embodiment techniques are based on principles from the non-aggressive martial art of Aikido, mindfulness practices, and posture awareness. They are designed to mitigate the impact of the stress and intensity inherent in leadership and daily life-like getting through a traffic jam, a promotion, a wedding, the loss of a job, winning a competition, making a production deadline, rallying a team after a loss, or making a product pitch. All leaders, be they CEOs, line supervisors, parents, consultants, care givers, administrators, teachers, coaches . . . can use these simple practices to learn to act with power, skill, and compassion.In part one of the book, Wendy Palmer offers simple postural practices that broaden our perspective, enhance interconnection and build confidence, accompanied by illustrations by Jen Mahoney. In part two, Janet Crawford pulls from cutting edge research in neuroscience and evolutionary biology to offer a biological explanation for the efficacy of the Leadership Embodiment techniques.

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Leadership Embodiment: How the Way We Sit and Stand Can Change the Way We Think and Speak

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Many leadership books present models for thinking and speaking, but very few address the role of the body in leading effectively. Yet, a great deal of the effect we have on others is carried by our physical presence. Our body postures hold the key to lowering emotional reactivity, while increasin...

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We want to see people Shine

Expand Leadership Competencies

Create inclusive environments, grow leadership presence, inspire positive influence.

Build Confidence &
get inspired

Skillfully manage stress and emotions, cultivate more confidence, tap your resources to get inspired.

Support Communication
and Collaboration

Access big picture thinking, accelerate innovation with inspiration, cultivate creativity with larger perspectives.

Our programs are unique. We translate principles from the Japanese martial art Aikido, mindfulness and bioscience into effective and sustainable practices.

Founder Wendy Palmer and Partner Tiphani
Palmer introduce you to Leadership Embodiment
in this short video.

"Many consultants have given us the 'What' of leadership development. The LE programs were the first to give us the How."

- Client, Leadership Embodiment Training Program,

Dive deeper into our program with this video

For over 20 years we have helped
People and Organizations across the world

Virtual and In-person programs

Our programs are unique because we train unification of the body and mind so that we remain more open and expansive in the face of stress or low-grade threat. We all have the capacity to access greater confidence, resilience and brilliance.

Programs are fun, experiential and interactive.

The courses offer skills you can apply immediately in your life.

Practices are simple, made to be used in the moment and sustainable.

We offer accessible principles, tools and language that help participants access greater Resiliency, Inclusivity and Creativity.

These programs have been offered to industries in over 15 countries.

Fortune 500 leaders and employees

Mid-size companies and Start-ups

Nonprofit Organizations

Educators

Frontline workers in Healthcare

Child Family and Welfare services

What people are saying about Leadership Embodiment

"I was initially drawn to this work noticing how a couple of my friends and colleagues made noticeable changes in how they were showing up in our interactions. Meeting Wendy, and then Tiphani, validated that for me. The most impactful developmental aspect of Leadership Embodiment for me is its practical application on the go, while my life is happening, and with a few simple power steps, reconnecting to my body and my breath, I find my center again, and again."

- Atta Emami

MBA, IMC, MSc. Org Change Consultant,
Facilitator, Leadership Coach, Certified
Yoga Teacher

"Working with Leadership Embodiment has had a direct and profound impact in both my personal and professional life. The ability to "center" and "rebalance" has been invaluable as I grow our business through uncharted waters. These new skills have played a key role in both my home and work success."

- John L. Hall

Senior Vice President, Oracle University

"The LE work has given me tools to handle stress, pressure and conflict in my life and at work with more compassion and ease. I appreciate how these techniques allow me to interact with others without taking things personally. This practice supports me in meeting the fast pace demands of my career with more humor and precision. I will be forever grateful having had the opportunity to incorporate this work into my daily routine."

- Michelle Gale

Principal at Beyond Insight, Coaching &
Consulting

"I've used the methods that I learned in Leadership Embodiment every single day, and they've quietly transformed the way that I deal with the challenges and opportunities that present themselves in my life - at work and at home."

- Chris Grant

Founder of 14A Conversations

"Leadership Embodiment has brought my professional practice and my way to be in the world to an entirely new level. These are the tools that are needed for today's challenges. They are simple to remember, practical, immediately rewarding and deeply grounded in ancient wisdom. If you want to be at your best and access your highest inspiration, start here. I always come back to the simple and precise LE principles. They are lifesavers and they help me grow into the person I truly am."

- Pierre Goirand

International Coach and Facilitator

"Leadership Embodiment has had a profound, lasting impact on my life which continues. Over the years of practicing this work, I've found my ability to respond, rather than react to situations has grown exponentially. I am able to tap into more kindness, courage and wisdom, and a sense of lightness and humour with it, while at the same time being able to say what's important for me.

When sharing this work with clients, they are astounded at the immediacy of their learning and the range of application. A reminder that the body is a shortcut and we can all access its intelligence. It has been a privilege and a gift to learn with Wendy Palmer, who has created these amazing practices and is a testament to them, herself."

- Karen White

Integral Coach and Regional Director for LE

"Over the past several years I've worked with many physicians and university leaders. They have managed complex and stressful challenges during the COVID pandemic. They tell me that the most important things they've learned in our work together, are the Leadership Embodiment techniques. They have been able to apply their learning to manage their own stress and to show up more calm, centered, and effective with their colleagues, with the people they manage, and with their clients.

I had a breakthrough in a recent LE Retreat I attended. In one of the activities, I reached a level of clarity that propelled my long-desired book project forward."

- Catherine Bachy

Leadership Coach, Facilitator, and Author

"I've never met Wendy or Tiphani but taking the online LE program was like getting 1 on 1 instruction from them. The videos are great and you really get a good sense of the principals they are communicating. I loved the different focus in each Module and could see how the Centering practice is such a useful tool. I've been practicing daily and find it very helpful for building my confidence."

- Michelle

"A fantastic way to be introduced to the LE model. The videos' questions and shared group learning made the program fun and interesting. The material and techniques are very applicable, simple and useful. The built in practice reminders I could set for myself were really helpful."

- Mark

Companies we have worked with

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We want to see people Shine Create inclusive environments, grow leadership presence, inspire positive influence. Skillfully manage stress and emotions, cultivate more confidence, tap your resources to get inspired. Access big picture thinking, accelerate innovation with inspiration, cultivate creativity with larger perspectives. Our programs are unique.

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Being In Movement ® - Paul Linden, PhD - | Aikido | Columbus Center for Movement Studies

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Paul Linden, PhD is a body awareness educator, a martial artist, and an author. He is the developer of Being In Movement ® mindbody education, founder of the Columbus Center for Movement Studies in Columbus, Ohio USA.

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Center for Adolescent Studies | Competent Training for Professionals working with Adolescents

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If you work with youth there's a good chance you work with trauma. Trauma symptoms or adaptations as I like to call them (i.e., your mind/psyche finds ways to adapt to the difficult/dangerous experience for survival) manifest in many ways, from hyper-vigilance to flashbacks, from trust issues to dissociation, from altered world-views to avoiding specific people, places, or even thoughts of course this is not an exhaustive list). Youth from all walks of life can experience trauma. I've worked with marginalized youth of color from extremely poor neighborhoods and wealthy white youth with every privilege accessible, and have witnessed trauma manifest in many ways for the above and every population in between. Trauma will arises in your professional role (whether you're a therapist, educator, counselor, or other youth worker) and it only does disservice to the youth you work with if you're not aware of, and view youth behavior, through a trauma-informed lens.

It goes without saying that this brief article is simply an introduction, and that those who are truly trauma-informed have skill sets and practice qualities in their professional roles that far outnumber these four essential skill sets.
1) What is trauma and how is it caused?
The first essential in being a trauma-informed youth professional is to understand what trauma is and how it's caused. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (currently in its 5 th edition), which is the go-to text for mental health professionals, defines trauma as:

Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways: 1. Directly experiencing the traumatic event(s). 2. Witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others. 3. Learning that the traumatic events(s) occurred to a close family member or close friend. In cases of actual or threatened death of a family member or friend, the event(s) must have been violent or accidental. 4. Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event(s) (e.g., first responders collecting human remains, police officers repeatedly exposed to the details of child abuse). Note: Criterion A4 (the last one) does not apply to exposure through electronic media, television, movies, or pictures, unless this exposure is work related. (DSM 5, p. 271)

While this is a widely used definition of trauma, it's not without critique. It's first important to consider that trauma itself isn't the threatening or dangerous experience. What makes a horrible experience traumatic is how an individual, family, or community responds to it (e.g., that's why I like the term "adaptation" over symptoms. It speaks to the fact that people respond to trauma and attempt, unconsciously, to adapt and deal with it). The above definition captures a lot of experiences that cause trauma, however falls short in fully encapsulating the complexities of experience outside of single events. For example, it would be a stretch to fit the experience of racism into the above definition, yet there is extensive research supporting the notion that those who have been victims of racist events, ideologies, and institutional regimes can develop symptoms of trauma.

One of the most important studies regarding trauma, especially in youth, is the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Study conducted by Dr. Vincent Felitti from Kaiser in collaboration with the Center for Disease Control. Briefly, this study investigated the childhood experiences of approximately 17,000 insured middle and older aged adults and found that folks who had at least 4 ACEs (from a survey asking about 10 ACEs) were much more likely to have a slew of psychological and medical problems that could result in early death. The 10 ACEs surveyed in the original study were:

Verbal Abuse

Physical Abuse

Sexual Abuse

Emotional Neglect

Physical Neglect

Divorce/Parent Separation

Domestic Violence

Alcohol/Drug Exposure

Exposure to Mental Illness and Suicide

Having A Household Member in Prison

Consider briefly the ACEs of emotional and physical neglect. It would be difficult to position these experiences within the DSM's definition and yet this is the most common form of abuse reported on youth in the United States and can lead to devastating consequences, one of which is trauma. The ACEs study was foundational in expanding the mental health field's view of what trauma is and how it's caused. It did not, however, include an exhaustive list of experiences with the potential to lead to trauma. Other experiences that lead to trauma included (but isn't limited to):

War, Terrorism, Mass Shootings

Refugee Encampment

Deportation of a family member

Life Threatening Illness

Natural and Unnatural Disasters

Motor Vehicle Accidents

Community Violence

Repeated Exposure to Trauma Details

Relational and Attachment-based trauma and,

Systemic oppression (racism, classism, sexism, etc.)

An evolving definition that I continue to edit for trauma is (using the DSM's above definition as a starting point as I am a psychologist by trade):

A response to actual, perceived, or threatened death, physical violence, sexual violence, neglect, serious injury, catastrophic natural disasters, unhealthy early child relational attachments, racism and/or oppression in one or more of the following ways: 1) Direct experiencing, 2) Witnessing the event(s) happen to someone else, 3) Learning the event(s) happened to a family member, close friend, or member of one's community, race, sexual orientation, etc., and 4) Repeated exposure to details of the event(s) via social media, images, intrusive thoughts and/or conversation.

I don't believe this is a perfect definition of trauma, but rather a starting point for dialogue about the different experiences that define what trauma is and how different populations experience it. As the field continuously evolves, it's my hope this definition will as well. For now, thinking about trauma from an expanded viewpoint like above will help you be a trauma-informed professional.
2) Understand how trauma affects the brain and learning
Another aspect of practicing trauma-informed care is having a basic understanding of how trauma affects the brain. Why? Because this will give you a much deeper insight into the next tip, how trauma affects youths' behaviors. I wrote about how trauma impacts the brain in another article that you can check out and will summarize here for brevity's sake.

Basically, the brain can be simplistically categorized into three layers: 1) the hindbrain; evolutionarily the oldest part of our brain that comprises the brain stem and cerebellum, this part of the brain controls our essential functions that we don't have to think about like breathing, heart beating, etc. Next is the mid-brain, also sometimes known as the emotional brain or emotional center. This is the limbic system and is comprised of the amygdala (our fear center), the hippocampus (which has to do with memory), the thalamus (which absorbs sensory information), and the hypothalamus (the messenger between the midbrain and hindbrain. Finally, the most recent layer of the brain from an evolutionary perspective is the forebrain. We share this (and the midbrain) with other mammals, but our forebrain is comparatively bigger than other mammals. This is the part of the brain responsible for language, abstract though, perspective-taking, and executive function.

Essentially, the take home point for how trauma effects the brain is that the thalamus absorbs sensory information (let's say a person walking toward you with a knife), the amygdala (think of this as the alert system) interprets danger (DANGER, DANGER, DANGER sirens go off), the hypothalamus then connects directly with the autonomic nervous system via the hindbrain and triggers you into fight, flight, or freeze (we'll go into these in depth in another post) mode and essentially all communication to your forebrain (the thinking, deciding, logical brain) gets cut off. That's why when someone is experiencing danger, or triggered trauma, it's difficult to make decisions, concentrate, and conduct simple executive tasks. If communication to the executive function part of the brain is cut off, how do we think that'll impact learning and behavior with youth in our classrooms, therapy offices, etc.? Right, it can have a drastic impact and sometimes when a youth in your class is being "defiant" it isn't always because they just don't like you or want to disrespect you. It can be because their trauma has been triggered. This understanding is essential for trauma-informed youth professionals.
3) View difficult, disrespectful, and defiant behaviors via a trauma-informed lens
Multiple traumas or even a single traumatic event could contribute to a slew of behavioral traumatic adaptations-that is the behavioral manifestation that the person adopts as a protective mechanisms to cope psychologically with the trauma they've experienced. These can be aggressive behaviors like fighting, physical intimidation, or verbal assaults; dissociative behaviors like becoming detached, extremely bored, feeling like reality is a dream, or like one isn't in their own body; humorous defensive mechanisms, overly compliant behaviors, and much more. They key here is not to over interpret everyone's behavior as trauma, but rather to consider the possibility that out-of-the-ordinary behaviors stem from trauma (e.g., a youth gets disproportionately angry with you when you ask a simple request; a youth is too compliant or perfectionistic; a youth is very "dazed" and often seems dissociated from their bodies, the present moment, and un-grounded). The general idea is to: 1) leave room for the possibility that an extreme or out-of-the-ordinary behavior from a youth is the result of them protecting themselves psychologically from their trauma and 2) that because this is a form of self-protection, you don't have to take it personally. If you take defiant, negative, aggressive behaviors as less personal, you will not only do your job much more skillfully and have a better shot at engaging and helping the struggling youth, but also will burnout less and practice much better self-care.
4) Work on yourself and your relationship-building abilities.
Your ego will play a big role in how you respond to traumatic adaptions from youth. Remember, these adaptations can show up as resistance, defiance, and any other youth behavior that can make you extremely uncomfortable. How you respond is essential, and this takes practice. Practicing not taking things personally is an art and takes time. For the truly traumatized, the behavior they're displaying is not about you. You may have triggered it, but it's about what happened to them and the unfortunate conditioned feedback loop that plays out in their behaviors as a result of it. If you remember that they're simply trying to protect themselves, you will take it less personally. Let that reminder be your practice, your mantra.

The second piece of working on you is self-care. The above framework is in itself a self-care practice, because it has the potential to prevent a lot of hurt in your life, but other self-care practices include mindfulness, exercise, spending time with friends, reading, going to the movies, or whatever it is you need to do to practice self-care.

4b) Working on relationship building skills:

Alongside the above, what's most important in engaging traumatized youth is making them feel safe so that they can eventually trust you. How's that done? The first step is building an authentic relationship. In a past post I overviewed 6 steps to building authentic relationships with youth. Most important to working with traumatized youth is the ego awareness work of setting healthy boundaries and engaging resistance from a place of understanding. Deeply listening to youths' stories and being genuinely curious about their lives, practicing appropriate self-disclosure to make them feel connected, practicing attunement-i.e., becoming attuned to the physical, mental, and emotional states of being and meeting them there, and of course the simple but powerful intention of just wanting to build a relationship and everything that comprises it; kindness, humor, compassion, and love, also contribute to building authentic relationships.

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The four essentials in this brief article should be viewed as a starting point for practicing trauma-informed care-this is not an exhaustive list but rather what's essential for engaging youth from a trauma-informed perspective; whether you're a psychotherapist, teacher, coach, social worker, mentor, probation professional, or other youth worker.

Related Posts
Compassion Can Help You Work with Trauma-Impacted Youth A Critical Intervention for Working with Traumatized Youth 3 Ways Traumatic Events in the Lives of Teens Impact Substance Abuse 4 "Must Read" Books for Professionals Working with Traumatized Youth
Check out the Trauma-Informed Care for Professionals Working with Youth online course for further training.

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The 4 Essentials of Being a Trauma-Informed Youth Professional | Center for Adolescent Studies

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If you work with youth there's a good chance you work with trauma. Trauma symptoms or adaptations as I like to call them (i.e., your mind/psyche finds ways to adapt to the difficult/dangerous experience for survival) manifest in many ways, from hyper-vigilance to flashbacks, from trust issues to dissociation, from altered world-views to avoiding specific people, places, or even thoughts of course this is not an exhaustive list).

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YOU in the moment - Basic mindfulness course for youth workers

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The aim of the course is to equip learners with mindfulness methods and techniques in order to support youth workers’ well-being and mental health, efficiency, and active participation and introduce possibilities to incorporate mindfulness into the youth work activities.

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The aim of this E-course:

We are welcoming you to our online course. This e-course was specially designed by a team of professional youth workers, psychologists, trainers, and mindfulness instructors from Greece and Italy. This is an outcome of the Erasmus+ Strategic Partnership Project "You(th) in the Moment".

Designed for youth this course has a specific goal: to equip young people with basic mindfulness knowledge and also useful tools to practice in their everyday lives.Your journey into mindfulness includes 6 modules:

MODULE 0 Introduction to the course - What to expect

MODULE I Mindfulness: concepts, history, mental health (nervous system, emotional regulation, etc.)

MODULE II Mindful tips/hacks/pills: Short practices for daily life
MODULE III Mindfulness and nature
MODULE IV Mindful Career Orientation
MODULE V Mindful communication (mindful listening, talk)

We hope that the journey is a long one, full of adventures, full of discoveries .

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youth in the moment - basic mindfulness course for youth

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YOUTH in the moment - Basic mindfulness course for youth

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The aim of this E-course:To equip youth with basic mindfulness methods and techniques in order to support their wellbeing and mental health, efficiency, life coachingThe learning outcomes of the E-courseAfter completing the E-course participants will: Get familiar with mindfulness practice, its history, benefits and will be able to apply simple

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"Talking about war and peace" is a self-paced online course that guides you through a process of reflection and practical activities on how to approach this topic in your work, locally or in transnational events.

As a facilitator, trainer or youth worker that works with interculturally mixed groups of young people you know that it is difficult to address this topic. Indeed, talking about war and peace is a challenge.

This course aims at preparing and supporting you facing this challenge. The activities and reflections guide you through a process of self-clarification and introduces tools to work with young people locally or in transnational events.

How to facilitate learning in times of war and crisis?

To answer this, the course is focusing on three areas:

Me as a facilitator, trainer and youth worker (the personal level): This is all about how you can prepare yourself and create a safe space for yourself and the people you work with.

Me and others (the interpersonal level): This is about you, the young people you work with and the question of how to facilitate the learning process of individuals and groups in the context of war and crises.

Me and community (the local level): This is about you, your community and small actions that can be implemented by and in your community.

Additionally, this course has a toolbox with various approaches and tools on how to facilitate learning in times of war and crisis as well as a list of additional resources.

The context of this online course

This online course has its origins in the transnational seminar "How to talk about war? - Working with young people in times of war crisis", which took part 11-16 of July 2022 in Toruń, Poland. The seminar offered a space to reflect on how to talk with young people about the war, its consequences and how it affects our lives. And it inspired participants to take small actions and be impactful in their work as facilitators, trainers or youth workers. This online course also includes content from another residential event in Poland: "Social Inclusion of Young Refugees", a training course from 27 till 30 September 2022 in Gdańsk.

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Course authors: Michael Kimmig and Marta Brzezińska-Hubert

Course provider: SALTO Eastern Europe and Caucasus

Course duration: self-paced (approx. 3-4 hours / module)

Course language: English

Target group: facilitators, trainers, youth workers

Requirements: none

Learning recognition: HOP Certificate
Last update: 27. November 2022

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talking about war and peace. facilitating learning in times of crisis

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Talking about war and peace. Facilitating learning in times of crisis

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
"Talking about war and peace" is a self-paced online course that guides you through a process of reflection and practical activities on how to approach this topic in your work, locally or in transnational events.