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3. What did you learn from conducting an interview?

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3. What did you learn from conducting an interview?

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Through the interview, I have achieved so many things from my friend's culture as well as his great opinions about some certain things in life.The biggest lesson learned is that even when we come from a totally different backgrounds, somehow there are some intersections among our cultures. As the main topic we obtained circled around family and family's perception. Importantly, I found out than when in my culture we enhance living as a community, people in the Netherlands prefer living individually and they usually move out at a certain age, which is far more different from my culture. On the cultural approach, while in Vietnam parents usually acquire their children follow the preceding path they have made for them, Dutch parents let their children decide their future career more freely. Personally, i think the way Dutch parents do is better than we do and this point should be considered probably and differently in Vietnam culture so that children can be more responsible for their life instead of being dependent too much on their parents.
In addition, I learned that things might turn out to be fully different from what I thought and there were more personal approaches in some circumstances than the cultural perceptions such as dining etiquette.For example, since many Vietnamese families nowadays are easier in eating habits, it is more likely my family's perspective than the traditional one. Hence, when obtaining a new culture, an objective approach should be made considerably.
Finally, some points seem to be more global-wide than cultural things. It can be seen that despite nationalities, many parents want to give their children a knowledge about different countries so as to help them gain a deeper insight and understanding.

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1. How did you experience interviewing your classmate (behaviour, thoughts, feelings)?
The interview was really interesting and gave me a good insight into my partner's culture and customs.Indeed, the interview was longer than we expected but it was helpful in digging deeper into each other's perspective. During the interview, we were both fascinated with other person's stories since it is not only about our culture's viewpoints but also our viewpoints of many issues. Especially, we also shared some unforgettable memories in our life, how the way we perceived differs from how our families perceived about certain problems or situations.Moreover, it was an opportunity for me to look back and think again about situations happening to me. It was really nice having a talk with my classmate to share our stories, our cultural beliefs as well as our viewpoints about particular topics.
A certain knowledge about each other's culture would help a lot in making the interview smoother and thought-provoking. In short, I believe we did the interview really well with many closed and open- questions in individuals.

2. What is similar and what is different between you and your interviewee?

Similarities :

Our families always let us experience different cultures through travelling to many countries all over the world.

We both choose our religion based on our knowledge and belief even though at first there might be some involvement of our parents in guiding us following a specific religion.

Our families both perceive religions in an open-minded way as we follow the rules with critical thinking applied. Importantly, both religions always ask people to love each other and do not harm anyone.

When it comes to topic preferences, me and Jasper coincide that our families usually talk about politics and travelling.However, for older people, it seems like they prefer talking about the good old days and it applies in our situations.

When our parents are not allowed us to do anything we like, we, indeed,both react fiercely to them but in different levels.

Right now, we are living alone and far away from our families but in distinctive circumstances.

The interesting thing is that we are the ones who decided which path we want to follow and which career we want to do in the future and we are not affected a great deal by our parents though we both received guidance from them.

Differences:

While I am from Asia as a Buddhism, my partner totally orginated from Europe and he is Christian.

For family reunion, my family reunites especially on Tet's holiday and sometimes at the end of August as a tradition. And in Jasper's family, marriage anniversary, Sinterklaas,Christmas,etc. are some special occasions all members will gather together.

On holidays, Jasper's family gathers together and then they may travel to another country or go camping for celebration while for us, we will reunite at home and just have a cosy dinner together.

The relationship between family members among us is really contrasting.

Me : we enhance family bond between members which makes us develop close-kit relationship, and my parents are not only parents but also my best friends. Additionally, the relationship with my younger brother is really well, we usually hang out with each other.Moreover, my family usually have dinner together in weeks my father has days off. We have certain dinning etiquette all members have to follow probably.

Jasper : He does not have a good relationship with his nuclear family except his grandparents. He and his father do not get along with each other. With his brothers, the brotherhood is not really good when he grew up.Thus, family dinners do not occurred frequently and there are no rules in eating manners like my family does.

When our parents are not allowed us to do anything we like, we, indeed,both react fiercely to them but in different levels.

Me: In some cases, I would ask again for permission and insist consistently until my parents accept it. For other cases, I may keep quiet and follow my parents' orders only if I  rethink and find out what they said is right.

Jasper : Just do what he wants to do since it is his decision not his parents'.Maybe if he is angry, he might break things down.

Though we are living alone, the way our parents think about it is entirely different:

Me: When i was in Vietnam, my parents did not like the idea of me moving out since it is abnormal in our country that a child does not leave with her parents and we prefer living together. Hence, I could not dealt with my them when i was in Vietnam.Furthermore, it is a weird thing in our culture that people live alone instead of living with their parents. Just only when I moved to the Netherlands was i able to move out spontaneously.

Jasper: In his culture, it seems normal to live with parents when an individual is still young.But mostly people are usually moving out when they are 18 years old or older. At the age of 25 years old, if someone is still living with parents, it might be a weird thing.

Though the same belief in career orientation, me and Jasper still have constant perceptions about it.

Me: Although the major I chose was partially from me, my mom did help me a lot in orientating the field i should follow based on my strength.When i was at school, my parents often advised me to look for some jobs' information as well as their requirements so that I could know what is compatible for me to follow.And in my culture, children usually have to follow parents' orientation to study about certain fields and it is really hard not to listen to them. It is likely an order then guidance since parents want their children to earn more and more money .

Jasper: On Jasper's side, he chose the career based on what he likes and because he also wanted to receive international education. Despite the fact that his father advised him to follow certain jobs but he did not involve much in his decision ultimately. When he was at school, his parents did not help him orientating his future career and asked him to look for further information like my parents did.And in his culture, children must be responsible for their own lives and usually parents give them guidance but not ask them to follow their wishes.And all careers are considered equally.

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V: How many people are there in your family? Who are they?

J : In my family I have an older brother, a younger brother, and my parents are still together, and my grandparents.

V: What was your family's religious background?

J: Well, my whole family members are Christian.

V: Are there any limitation in your religion?

J: To be honest, there is not really any limitation in our religion. Like other religions, the Bible also tells us to live in a harmony way with the nature, with other people and should not harm anything or anyone.

V: How is religion obtained in your family?

J: In my family, people approach the religion in an open-minded way. We actually do not always the rules all the time, we try to think it positively and neutrally to other religions. When my grandfather was alive, I usually went to the church with him since he said it was important so I came and sat there listening the talk in the church with him.

V: Do you choose religion by your own or follow your parents' religion?

J : Well, at first I followed my parents but then I chose it by myself. I am also in a church team for doing some activities.

V: How did your family celebrate holidays when are were a child?

J: We went on Christmas, we went with the whole family when we were young, from 3 years old until 14 years old. The whole family went to Egypt because my grandparents were celebrating their marriage anniversary. We also went on camping trip like going to Kazakstan, in Holland provinces, Germany like 5 -6 times. We travelled along by car around Europe, we also went couple of times to Turkey. Actually, we have travelled through out 13 countries.

V: In what occasions do you have family reunion?

J: Well, on Christmas, on Sinterklaas and also on my grandparents anniversary. Well, also on Easter days.

V: How is the relationship between you and other family members?

J: I am kind of the black sheep in my family. I am quite different from other people from my family. Honestly, I have a close connection with my grandfather and also with another grandfather on the other side. Always I travelled with my father but I could not get along with him. And my mother we also have a close connection. And with my brothers, they are nothing more than brothers. With my family, I just do not talk much about anything. Family does not usually come first in the Netherlands and depends on the person. If you are getting alone with your family, you will spend more time talking with them. But the problem is if you do not have a real connection, you do not need to be close to them.

V: Do you usually have dinner with your family?

J: When I was young, we used to have dinner together. But later on when I moved out, I seldom come back home to have dinner with my family.

V: Is there any special topic does your family prefer talking about together?

J: Well, usually we will talk about politics, about the travelling. As you know, old people usually like talking about the good old days so my parents and grandparents enjoy talking about that.

V: Are there any special requirements about dining etiquette and manner in your family?

J: No, it is easy in my family, if I am hungry, I tell my mom that I am hungry and then I just need to finish my dish. Like when I finish eating, I will go out to chill with my friends. My brothers will go out playing football and my dad will do the dishes.

V: What would you feel when your parents are not allowed you to do anything you like?

J: I would say I am gonna do it anyway, I do not care. Because this is my life, so parents should not involve too much into my decisions. If they are still not allowed, maybe I will throw away all the stuffs, get angry and yell at them.

V: How has your relationship with family changed when you get older?

J: It was better but when I moved out, we did not communicate much with each other. After I came back from Australia in my gap year, my parents just kept show some hints that they wanted me to move out and it was very annoying. Well, if they want me to do so, I will.

V: Are you living alone or with your family?

J : Right now I am living alone

V: What did your parents say about your moving out?

J: As I told you, they wanted me to move out so when I did, they were happy to see that.

V: How did you feel about that?

J: At first I was quite sad but I am fine now. I also intended to move out at that time so it was not a big deal for me. And living on my own, I learned how to cook for myself and take care of myself in a better way. I have been living alone for 2 years already.

V: Is it common in your culture to move out when you are 18?

J: Well, to be honest it is normal in our country. If you are 20 and you are still living with your parents, that is still fine. But if I saw I guy who is 25 years old living with his parents, it would be very weird. Because at the age of 25, most people have moved out to live alone or with their friends. Few people actually live with their family at that age.

V: What do you want to do in the future?

J:  I want to become a politician. I want to change the world, especially some countries around the global. Because people are changing the way of living, it is different. For instance, I do not like the education system here since you have to pay certain amount of each course, they should do it like a Marketing teacher standing in a room and he should stand there all days so that if we come up with any questions, we can ask him. If you do not put effort in school , it does not work. I want to make everyone equal to create a better place.

V: What do your parents think about this?

J: Well they do not give much opinions, they just say yeah just do that if you want to.

V: When you were at school, did your parents do anything to help you to orientate yourself?

J: It was not a real orientation but he just suggested me studying business because I can have a lot of money.

V: What are parents' role in orientating their children's future career in your culture?

J: I think it is important because some parents can know their children’s talents and they know what their strengths are. Their orientation somehow may help their children go further in the future. However, it should only be an orientation or suggestion, not a force because it is your own life, not their life, you are the one who give the final suggestion which way you should go. Even if you go wrong, that is your responsibility for the decision, not them.

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Date: 22/11/2016
Place : the reception desk - HAN university of Applied science
Time: 10:30 - 12:00

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Name : Van Phan (V)
Class : IFA - A03
Partner : Jasper - the Netherlands (J)