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1.23.08
I can’t believe me and Raj are finally married, our love story is one of the fairytales. Ever since we were kids we've been inseparable and now, us being in College, we've never been stronger. He's my rock but I can't help feeling a bit lonely, I haven't seen my girls in a bit. They stopped calling me after a while, I kept canceling plans so I don't blame them, but an invite wouldn't hurt. Being away from my parents especially makes me lonely at night. Them now living in India, I can't vent to them anymore. I haven’t told Raj about this; I don’t want him thinking I’m having doubts about us. I’m okay with just him and me, right?

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12.08.10
I’ve grown to resent Raj; it wasn’t anything he did in particular but what he didn’t do. He stopped treating me as his everything, he comes home and sits in front of the tv, and the horrible thing is he seems content with that being his life. I use to have a life, but Raj and this family took any semblance of freedom away from me. I can’t believe Raj would invite someone to sleep in our home without talking to me about it, it’s like he doesn’t see me anymore. Raj’s friend put his hand on my waist while passing by, something so small but excited me. Mina, what are thinking?? That's your husband's friend, don't go there...

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08.04.10
Bobby was born today, seeing his lighter complexion compared to raj sickened me. Raj didn’t seem to notice, but I did. Bobby having the eyes of Raj’s friend reminds me every time what I’ve done. Looking back I don’t regret what I’ve done, only that now there’s always a living reminder calling me mom. I can’t even look at Bobby, it’s not his fault I was unfaithful, my infidelity is ruining my family and Raj doesn’t have a clue. Do I tell Raj about me cheating?? No, Mina, my family would be destroyed If I were to tell him, although I no longer love Raj I refuse for my kids to grow up in a broken home.

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05.07.18
8 years, I was in pain for 8 years keeping my secret hidden, I’m finally going to tell someone. Not just anyone, a person that translates diseases just based on symptoms.  Mr. Kapasi was an older man, probably had kids my age, and was a well-rounded person. He could be the man to help with my pain, we’re visiting some hills and he suggested, and I’m going to tell him. When speaking to Mr.Kapasi I realized he can’t help me, he’s just some old doctor’s assistant, he accused me of the pain I was feeling was the guilt of the situation. He was supposed to help with the pain, give me the advice to deal with it, and he didn’t. I swore to myself I’d never tell a soul, but Mr.Kapasi was the first person I’d ever told, and he’d turn out to be a disappointment. I want to feel relieved, and him insinuating I should tell Raj, wasn’t going to fix my problem. I feel lost I don’t know what I’m going to do...

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10.26.20
I and Raj left couple’s counseling, we tried…. I tried everything to save our marriage, my family after I told him bobby wasn’t his. After the incident with Bobby, once returning to America, I wanted the guilt to go away, what I’ve done weighed too much on my shoulders. Raj wanted to end it, but I couldn’t lose my family, after cheating I felt myself stop caring, loving my family, and almost losing Bobby made me realize I still love them. I suggested Couple’s counseling, I just wanted to be able to say I tried, but Raj despised I waited 8 years to tell him. 8 years loving Bobby as his flesh and blood, I understood but breaking my family up wasn’t an option at the time. He gave up after 2 years of counseling, Raj refused to listen to me, see me as his wife. The man that once I refused to live without requested a divorce. Bobby's 10 now, Raj can't even look at his son I don't know how he wants to split visitation. What has my life become ?