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I want to start lifting and getting stronger.

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I want to do good on my sats, so my transcript looks better.

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Learn how to pass the SAT test and get the score you need on test day. Find out about SAT test study resources and practice that is available online.

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i need to start making money to save up.

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When it comes to advice on how to get a job, most of it is pretty bad.

1. CollegeFeed suggests that you "be confident" as their first interview tip, which is a bit like suggesting that you should "be employable".

2. Many advisers cover the "clean your nails and have a firm handshake" kind of thing.

3. A coach on AOL says that "you need business cards in your pocket at all times." Which is great advice for job applicants who are so qualified that strangers at parties want to hire them, if only they had their email address.

4. A career expert in TIME magazine advises that "By writing blog posts and updating your social status routinely, recruiters will find you when they are looking to hire for a position. As long as your profiles are connected to what you're passionate about, you will attract the right jobs and repel the wrong ones."

So post on Twitter a lot and you'll magically attract the right jobs, right?

Over the last five years, we've sifted through this bad advice to find the nuggets that are actually good. We've also provided one-on-one coaching to hundreds of people who are applying for jobs, and we've hired about 20 people ourselves, so we've seen what works from both sides. Here, we'll sum up what we've learned.

The key idea is that getting a job is about convincing someone that you have something valuable to offer. So you should focus on doing whatever employers will find most convincing. That means instead of sending out lots of CVs, focus on getting recommendations and proving you can do the work. Read on to get a step-by-step guide.
Reading time: 15 minutes.
The bottom line

Getting a job is a sales process. Think of it from the employer's point of view, and do what the employer will find most convincing.

Get lots of leads, especially by asking for introductions.

Prove you can do the work by actually doing it. Do a project before the interview, explain exactly how you can solve their problems or seek a related position first.

Once you get an offer, actually negotiate.

Do whatever it takes to keep yourself motivated e.g. make a public commitment to apply for one position per day or find a partner to search for jobs alongside.

Let's be blunt. You're not entitled to a job, and hiring is rarely fair. Rather, getting a job is, at root, a sales process. You need to persuade someone to give you responsibility and a salary, and even put their reputation on the line, in exchange for results.

We'll list key advice for each stage of the "sales" process: (1) finding opportunities (leads) (2) convincing employers (conversion) and (3) negotiating. The common theme is to think from the employer's point of view, and do whatever they will find most convincing.

While the rest of this guide is about working out which job is best for you and the world, here we focus on the practicalities of taking action on your plans. Just bear in mind there's no point using salesmanship to land a job that you wouldn't be good at - you won't be satisfied, and if your performance is worse than the next best applicant, you'll have a negative impact.

We wrote this article to prevent the opposite situation: we've seen too many great candidates who want to make a difference failing to live up to their potential because they don't know how to sell themselves.

Stage 1: Leads

A lead is any opportunity that might turn into a job, like a position you could apply for, a friend who might know an opportunity, or a side project you might be able to get paid for.

You need lots of leads

We interviewed someone who's now a top NPR journalist. But when he started out, he applied to 70 positions and got only one serious offer.

This illustrates the first thing to know about leads: you probably need a lot of them. Especially early in your career, it can easily take 20 to 100 leads to find one good job, and getting rejected 20 times is normal. In fact, the average length of a spell of unemployment in the U.S. as of February 2016 is seven months, so be prepared for your job hunt to take that long.

However, there's much you can do to raise your chances of success, which is what we'll now cover.

How to get leads: Don't just send your CV in response to job listings, use connections

Many large organisations have a standardised application process e.g. the Civil Service, consulting and Teach for America. They want to keep the process fair, so there isn't much wiggle room. In these cases, just apply.

But what do you do after that? The most obvious approach is to send your CV to lots of companies and apply to the postings on job boards. This is often the first thing career advisers mention.

The problem is that sending out your CV and responding to lots of internet job ads has a low success rate. The author of the best selling career advice book of all time, Dick Bolles, estimates that the chance of landing a job from just sending your resume to a company is around 1 in 1,000. That means you need to send out one hundred resumes just to have a 10% chance of landing a job. This is because once an opportunity is on a job board, it'll be flooded with applicants.

Moreover, the positions on job boards need to be standardised and mainly at large companies, so they don't include many of the best positions.

The best opportunities are less competitive because they are hidden away, often at small but rapidly growing companies, and personalised to you. You need a different way to find them.

The key is to find leads in the way that employers most like. Employers prefer to hire people they already know, or failing that, to hire through referrals - an introduction from someone they know.

Think about it from their point of view. Which would you prefer: a recommendation from someone you trust, or 20 CVs from people who saw your job listing on indeed.com? The referral is more likely to work, because the person has already been vouched for. It's less effort - screening 20 people you know nothing about is hard. Referrals also come from a better pool of applicants - the most employable people already have lots of offers, so they rarely respond to job listings.

For these reasons, many recruiters consider referrals to be the best method of finding candidates.

But job seekers usually get things backwards - they start with the methods that recruiters least like.

Moreover, applicants find around 50% of jobs through connections, and many are never advertised. So if you don't pursue referrals, you'll miss many opportunities.

How to get referrals

You need to master the art of asking for introductions. We've put together a list of email scripts you can use.

To get referrals, here's a step-by-step process. If you're not applying for a job right now, skip this section until you are.

1. First, update your LinkedIn profile. This isn't because you'll get great job offers through LinkedIn - that's pretty rare - it's because people who are considering meeting you will check out your profile. Focus your profile on your most impressive accomplishments. Be as concrete as possible e.g. "ranked third in the nation", "increased annual donations 100%". Cut the rest. It's better to have two impressive achievements than two impressive achievements and three weak ones. Finally, search yourself on Google and do anything you can to make the results look good (e.g. delete embarrassing old blog posts). Here's a guide.

2. If you already know someone in the industry who can hire people, then ask for a meeting to discuss opportunities in the industry. This is close to going directly to an interview, skipping all the screening steps. Remember, there doesn't need to be an open position - employers will often create positions for good people. Before you take the meeting, use the advice on how to prepare for interviews below.

3. If you know them less well, ask for a meeting to find out more about jobs in the industry: an "informational interview". If it goes well, ask them to introduce you to people who may be able to hire you, which is effectively getting a referral from this person. Do not ask them for a job if you promised it was an informational interview.

4. When asking for more introductions, prepare a one sentence, specific description of the types of opportunities you'd like to find. A good example is something like: "an entry level marketing position at a technology startup in education". Two bad examples are: "a job in software" or "a job that fits my skills". Being concrete makes it easier for people to come up with ideas, so lean towards too narrow rather than too broad.

5. Failing the above steps, turn to the connections of your connections. If you have a good friend who knows someone who's able to hire you, then you could directly ask that friend for a referral. The ideal is to ask someone you've worked for before where you performed really well.

6. If your connection is not able to refer you, then ask them to introduce you to people in the industry who are able to hire. Then we're back to informational interviews as in step two.

7. To find out who your connections know, use LinkedIn. Say you want to work at Airbnb. Go to LinkedIn and search "Airbnb". It'll show a list of all your contacts who work at Airbnb, followed by connections of connections who work at Airbnb. Pick the person with the most mutual connections and get in touch.

8. Remember, if you have 200 LinkedIn connections, and each of them has 200 connections that don't overlap with the others, then you can reach at least 10,000 people using these methods.

9. There are lots of people in the 80,000 Hours LinkedIn group who are happy to give advice on applications, and may be able to make introductions.

10. If you still haven't got anywhere, then it may be worth spending some time building your connections in the industry first. Read our advice on how to network. Start with people with whom you have some connection, such as your university alumni, and friends of friends of friends (3rd order connections). Your university can probably give you a list of alumni who are willing to help in each industry. There are probably some good groups you can join and conferences to attend. Otherwise you can resort to cold emailing. Here's a guide to getting jobs with no connections. Here's a guide to finding anyone's email address.

Remember to use the scripts when asking for introductions.

Recruiters and listings

We prefer the above tactics, but recruiters can be worth talking to, and are often more effective than just making cold applications. Look for those who have a good network in the industry you're interested in. If you want to work in an organisation with a social purpose, check out ReWork. There are also recruiters who specialise in new graduates e.g. GradQuiz (UK).

In case you want to browse job listings, which does sometimes work, and can be a useful way to get ideas, we listed the main sites in the footnotes.

Stage 2: Conversion

When you're in contact with someone who has the power to hire you, how do you convince them?

Again, think about it from their point of view. Once at 80,000 Hours, we were trying to hire a web engineer. Most applicants just filled out our application form, while one sent us a redesigned version of our career quiz. Which application is more convincing? The person who sent the quiz was immediately in the top 20% of applicants, despite having very little formal experience.

Employers are looking for several qualities. They want employees who will fit in socially, stick around and not cause trouble. But most importantly, the employer wants to be sure that you can solve the problems they face. If you can prove that you'll get the results the employer most values, everything else is much less important.

So how can you go about doing that?

When the process is highly standardised

In these cases, like Teach for America or many government jobs, you have to jump through the hoops. Maximise your chances by finding out exactly what the process involves, and practising exactly that. For instance, if it's a competency interview, find out which competencies they look for, then have a friend ask you similar questions. Some public service organisations publish the rubrics they use to assess candidates.

The most useful thing you can do is find someone who recently went through the process, ask them how it works, and, if possible, practice the key steps with them. Sometimes there are books written about exactly how to apply.

Most employers, however, don't have a fully standardised process. What do you do in those cases?

If you've already done the same work before, then you just need to practice telling your story. Skip ahead to the interview tips. But what about if you don't have much relevant experience?

The basic idea is: do free work.

Do free work

The most powerful way to prove you can do the work is to actually do some of it. And as we saw, doing the work is the best way to figure out whether you're good at it, so it'll help you to avoid wasting your own time too.

Here are three ways to put that into practice.

The pre-interview project

This is what the web engineer did with our career quiz, as above.

1. Find out what you'd be doing in the role (this already puts you quite a way ahead).

2. In particular, work out which problems you will need to solve for the organisation. To figure this out, you'll probably need to do some desk research - here's a simple guide - then speak to people in the industry.

3. Spend a weekend putting together a solution to these problems, and send them to a couple of people at the company with an invitation to talk more.

4. If you don't hear back after a week, follow up at least once.

5. Alternatively, write up your suggestions, and present them at the interview. Ramit Sethi calls this "the briefcase technique."

See some more examples in this article (8min read, also where we got the term "pre-interview project").

Speaking from personal experience, we've overseen four years' worth of competitive application processes at the Centre for Effective Altruism, and doing either of these would immediately put you in the top 20% of applicants, even if your suggestions weren't that good. It demonstrates a lot of enthusiasm, and most people hardly know anything about the role they are applying for.

Trial period

If the employer is on the fence, you can offer to do a two or four week trial period, perhaps at reduced pay or as an intern. Say that you're keen to work there and feel confident that you'll work out. Make it clear that if the employer isn't happy at the end, you'll leave gracefully.

Only bring this out if the employer is on the fence, or it can seem like you're underselling yourself.

Go for a nearby position

If you can't get the job you want right away, consider applying for another position in the organisation - like a freelance position, or a position one step below the one you really want. Working in a nearby position gives you the opportunity to prove your motivation and cultural fit. When your boss has a position to fill, it's much easier to promote someone he or she already worked with than to start a lengthy application process.

How to prepare for interviews

If you can show an employer you can solve their problems, you're most of the way there, and you can ignore most of the interview advice out there. However, you won't always have time to prepare, and there's more you can do to become even more convincing.

Here's the best advice we've found on preparing for interviews. It's also useful for getting leads while networking. If you're not actively looking for a job right now, skip this section for now.

1. When you meet an employer, ask lots of questions to understand their challenges. Discuss how you might be able to contribute to these challenges. This is exactly what great salespeople do. A survey of research on sales concluded "there is a clear statistical association between the use of questions and the success of the interaction." Moreover, when salespeople were trained to ask more questions, it made them more effective.

2. Prepare your three key selling points ahead of meetings. These are the messages you'll try to get in during the discussion. For instance: 1) I have done this work successfully before, 2) I am really excited about this company, 3) I have suggestions for what I could work on. Writing these out ahead of time makes it more likely you'll mention what's most important, and three points is about the limit of what your audience will remember. That's why this is standard advice when pitching a business idea. If you're not sure what you have to offer, there's an inventory exercise at the end of the article on career capital.

3. Focus on what's most impressive. What sounds better: "I advised Obama on energy policy" or "I advised Obama on energy policy, and have worked as a high school teacher the last three years"? Many people fill up their CVs with everything they've done, but it's usually better to pick your one or two most impressive achievements and focus on those. It sounds better, it makes it more likely you'll cover it, and it makes it more likely that your audience will remember it.

4. Prepare concrete facts and stories to back up your three key messages. For instance, if you're applying to be a web engineer, rather than "I'm a hard worker", try "I have a friend who runs an organisation that was about to get some press coverage. He needed to build a website in 24 hours, so we pulled an all-nighter to build it. The next day we got 1,000 sign-ups." Rather than say "I really want to work in this industry", tell the story of what led you to apply. Stories and concrete details are far more memorable than abstract claims.

5. Work out how to sum up what you have to offer in a sentence. Steve Jobs didn't sell millions of iPods by saying they're 30% better than mp3 players, but rather with the slogan "1,000 songs in your pocket". Having a short, vivid summary makes it easy for other people to promote you on your behalf. For instance "He's the guy who advised Obama on climate policy and wants a research position."

6. Prepare answers to the most likely questions. Write them out, then practice saying them out loud. The following three questions normally come up: (1) Tell me about yourself - this is an opportunity to tell the story of why you want this position and mention one or two achievements (2) Why do you want this position? (3) What are your questions for us? Then usually the interviewer will add some behavioural questions about the traits they care most about. These usually start "Tell me about a time you...", then are finished with things like: "exhibited leadership", "had to work as a team", "had to deal with a difficult situation or person", "failed" or "succeeded." You can find a list of common interview questions here.

7. Practice the meeting, from start to finish. Meet with a friend and have them ask you five interview questions, then practice responding quickly. If you don't have a friend to help, then say your answers out loud and mentally rehearse how you want it to go. Ask yourself what's most likely to go wrong, and what you'll do if that happens.

8. Learn. After each interview, jot down what went well, what could have gone better, and what you'll do differently next time.

To learn more about sales, our top recommendation is SPIN selling, which is based on in-depth research by Neil Rackman.

Stage 3: Negotiation

Negotiation begins after you have an offer, once the employer has said they'd like to hire you.

Most people are so happy to get a job, or awkward about the idea of negotiating, that they never try. But ten minutes of negotiation could mean major benefits over the next couple of years. So actually consider doing it.

For instance, you could ask the employer to match your donations to charity. That could mean thousands of dollars of extra donations per year, making those ten minutes you took to negotiate among the most productive of your life.

You could also negotiate to work on a certain team, have more flexible hours, work remotely, or learn certain skills. All of these could make a big difference to your day-to-day happiness and career capital.

Negotiation is not always appropriate. Don't do it if you've landed a highly standardised offer, like many government positions - they won't be able to change the contract. Also don't do it if you're only narrowly better than the other candidates or have no alternatives. And definitely don't negotiate until the employer has made an offer - it looks really bad to start negotiating during the interview.

However, we think negotiation should be tried in most cases once you have an offer. Hiring someone takes months and consumes lots of management time. Once an employer has made an offer, they've invested many thousands of dollars in the process. The top candidate is often significantly better than the next best. This means it's unlikely that they'll let the top candidate get away for, say, a 5% increase in costs.

It's even more unlikely that they'll retract their initial offer because you tried to negotiate. Stay polite, and the worst case is likely that they'll stick to their original offer.

Negotiation should be most strongly considered when you have more than one good offer, because then you have a strong fallback position.

How to negotiate

Explain the value you'll give the employer, and why it's justified to give you the benefits you want. The idea is to look for objective metrics and win-win solutions - can you give up something the employer cares about in exchange for something you care about? For instance:

I'm going to redesign your sign up process, increasing the conversion rate by 1%, which is worth millions of dollars to you, so I'd like to be given donation matching up to $50,000. This is something I value, and the company can claim tax benefits on the donations.

Other people with my level of experience in this industry are usually paid $50,000 and can work at home two days per week. But I'd prefer to work with you. Can you match the other companies?

I'm really motivated to learn sales skills, so I'd like to work alongside person X. This will make me much more effective in the role in six months.

Lots has been written about salary negotiation, so this hardly scratches the surface. Here's a good guide (30 minutes). Ramit Sethi also has tips (14 minute video and free pdf guide in exchange for newsletter sign up). If you want to get more advanced, check out the book Getting Past No by William Ury, who developed the negotiation course at Harvard Law School.

Negotiate after you've started

Once you start the job, try to perform as well as possible, and then negotiate again. Most employers will be very unwilling to lose someone who's already doing excellent work. Just bear in mind, most companies have a standard review process, so wait until then to make your ask.

Stay motivated

The job search may be one of the hardest things you've ever done - you've probably never been rejected 30 times in a row before. And you may have to do most of it alone. It makes online dating look easy.

This means that you'll need to throw every motivational technique you know at the job hunt. For example, set a really specific goal like speaking to five people each week until you have an offer, publicly commit to the goal, and promise to make a forfeit if you miss it. We know one job seeker who, although he is liberal, promised to donate to the Trump campaign if he missed his goal.

One of the most useful approaches our members have found is pairing up with someone else who's also job hunting. Check in on progress, and share tips and leads. Alternatively, find someone who was recently successful at a similar hunt and is willing to meet up and give you tips.

To get more practical tips on how to motivate yourself, check out the book The Motivation Hacker by Nick Winter. And we have another article that lists evidence-based ways to stay happy, productive and motivated.

Check out our advice on different jobs

The best way to get a job depends on the type of job you're pursuing. Go to our career reviews and scroll to the end of the profile to see customised advice for each type of job.

Never job hunt again

Your job hunts will get easier and easier as you build career capital.

The most important thing you can do to put yourself in a better position is to gain more connections, so you can get better referrals. We have tips on that here and in the next article.

Also focus on developing strong skills and crushing it in your work. The best marketing is word of mouth - employers seeking you out rather than the other way around. If you're great at your job, then people will actively want to refer you to employers, because it's doing them a favour as well as you. Read our article on career capital to find out how to never have to job hunt again.

Conclusion

Getting a job can be an unpleasant process, but if you go through the steps in this article, you'll give yourself the best chance of success. And that will make sure you fulfil your potential to find a satisfying career and contribute to the world.

Apply this to your own career

What are the most important three steps to take in order to get into your top options?

Try to be as specific as possible. Some good examples: complete an online course in statistics; follow up with my boss at my last internship; read my top-recommended problem profile. The key steps probably involve speaking to people.

When are you going to do each of these? Many studies have shown that writing down when you'll do a task makes it much more likely you'll actually do it - it's called an "implementation intention".
Take a break.

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A step-by-step guide to getting a job, without the usual nonsense

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When it comes to advice on how to get a job, most of it is pretty bad. CollegeFeed suggests that you "be confident" as their first interview tip, which is a bit like suggesting that you should "be employable". Many advisers cover the "clean your nails and have a firm handshake" kind of thing.

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I want to be able to buy everything I want, without even looking at price tags.

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"Poor people see a dollar as a dollar to trade for something they want right now. Rich people see every dollar as a 'seed' that can be planted to earn a hundred more dollars ... then replanted to earn a thousand more dollars.

-T. Harv Eker, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind

Wealth is what you accumulate-not what you make. If you were to stop working tomorrow, how long could you support your current lifestyle? That is what makes you wealthy.

So how wealthy are you? If that question makes you squirm, there is good news. Regardless of how much you earn, your wealth can grow if you start thinking about and treating money differently:

Pay yourself first.

Begin with an emergency fund. Aim for at least $500 and work up to 3-6 month's salary.

Tackle your debt.

If net worth is what makes you wealthy, debt is wealth's enemy. Start eliminating it with this debt payment calculator.

Save smart.

Choose the right savings tools to maximize interest earned and minimize withdrawal penalties.

Max out matching contributions.

If your employer matches contributions to a 401(k) or other retirement benefit, don't say no to free money. Planting money for growth today will be what makes you wealthy tomorrow.

Make a plan for windfalls.

Think twice before spending inheritances, tax refunds, bonuses and other unexpected income.

Don't lose out to inflation.

Your savings is a huge part of what makes you wealthy, so you don't want to see it diminished by inflation. The historical long-term average for inflation is about 3 percent. That means if you put $1,000 under your mattress today, in 20 years it will buy only $554 worth of stuff (at today's prices).

Know your assets and liabilities.

What do you own that can be turned into cash (i.e., stock, home, property or business)? What do you owe to another person or entity (i.e., loans or rent)?

Match your risk tolerance.

Risk is the uncertainty of achieving a desired result. Many factors affect your willingness to take risks in life and in your finances. to assess your comfort level with risk taking.

Get help.

Start with The Financial Planning Association or the National Foundation for Credit Counseling.

Create a long-term wealth building strategy.

Any good strategy starts with identifying your short-term and long-term goals. Short-term goals might include things you want to accomplish in one to three years; long-term goals might include retirement savings that you won't tap into for 20 or 30 years.

How wealthy are you?

Remember that how much you earn doesn't determine your wealth. What makes you wealthy is your ability to sustain yourself should you lose that income. Build your strategy today so you can swap immediate gratification for the rewards of long-term security.

[Any reference to a specific company, commercial product, process or service does not constitute or imply an endorsement or recommendation by the National Endowment for Financial Education.]

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"Poor people see a dollar as a dollar to trade for something they want right now. Rich people see every dollar as a 'seed' that can be planted to earn a hundred more dollars ... then replanted to earn a thousand more dollars. -T.

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I want to have a wife and kids one day

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Don't Worry

What happens to a guy whose fear of fatherhood is up there with snakes and shark attacks? If he's anything like Scott Kelby, he writes a book, helping other men deal with the realities -- both messy and amazing -- of becoming a dad.

"I absolutely, positively, didn't want to have kids," he writes. "Now, I didn't have the usual fears that guys have of 'I'm not sure I'll make a good dad.' I had the other one. The 'I don't want to give up my fun-filled, carefree life of wining and dining for a miserable world of whining and diapers.' At least, that's what I thought it would be."

In The Book for Guys Who Don't Want Kids (Fair Shake Press), Kelby shares some of his biggest pre-baby worries, how he overcame them, and how men who feel threatened by parenthood can overcome those fears and turn out to be great dad.

10 Things That Will Help You

1. Don't worry about being a great dad. Being a great dad isn't about holding the baby just right, or knowing how to burp her, or being a willing participant at imaginary tea parties. Being a good dad starts with being a good husband. It starts with getting involved in the entire prenatal process; so if you really want to be a good dad, make darn sure you're a good husband, because great husbands become great dads.

If there's one thing your baby needs, it's a stable, loving home. Work to make your marriage rock solid. The good dad thing will follow, guaranteed.

Start Living Quickly; Give Mom Space

2. Try to live your normal pre-child life as soon as possible. A lot of first-time parents totally freak out when they have an infant, and they don't leave their house for two years because they're afraid of what might happen to "the baby." It's a baby -- not nitroglycerin. After a couple of weeks, go out and start to return to as much of you and your wife's normal routine as possible. Remember -- babies are small and travel surprisingly easily (especially with all the high-tech travel gear you'll find at Super Baby Warehouse Megastore).

Take your baby out to breakfast with you, take them on trips, shopping, on airplanes, and just about everywhere you used to go before the baby arrived (okay, don't take the baby to raves -- but you get the idea). Once you realize that you're out there, doing regular things with the little one going along just fine, you'll realize that although some things are certainly different now, you can still do most of the things you used to do. When you start doing regular things, it will take a lot of stress off you both, and give you time to feel like a couple again, not two people tied to the house 24 hours a day, which can be incredibly stressful in and of itself.

3. Give the mommy some time for herself. Look, I'd be lying if I told you that in an infant's life, the dad is as important as the mom. When it comes to caring for an infant, and instinctively knowing what to do with a newborn baby, women have the market cornered, and being a mommy is a much harder job than being a daddy. That's why it's so important that you give the mommy as many breaks as you can. She needs time for herself, but she's so wrapped up in being a mom, she probably won't stop long enough to care for herself.

The best thing you can do is make her take breaks. Watch the baby for a while as she naps, then have your wife go visit her girlfriend, or if her mom lives nearby, have her take some time and visit her. Even if she just wants to go to the mall, or see a movie with her friends, you've got to make time for her to do this. She needs it (more than even she knows) and it gives you some wonderful time with your newborn. An important part of being a great dad is being a great husband, and a great husband makes sure his wife doesn't get burned out being a mommy 24 hours a day.

Help Mom Feed

4. Get up with Mom for late-night feedings. I gotta tell ya, this is a tough one, but you'll be glad you did it (when it's over, not during). When it comes to dining, newborn babies think they're on a cruise ship, and at midnight and 2 a.m. they fully expect (and demand) a buffet.

When our little guy started crying for food at two in the morning, my wife had to get up because she was breastfeeding, but I got up right along with her. I sat there and kept her company, we shared stories about our day, marveled at how cute our baby was, etc., until it was time to burp the little guy, then she'd pass him over to me and I'd burp him. I have to say, I really enjoyed the burping because even though my wife could surely have burped him herself, this way I was at least helping in the process and that felt good. Plus, I was getting to hold my little buddy and the burping helped him too.

It sounds corny, but these late-night feedings were really a time of great closeness for my wife and me as we sat there in the dim light, fighting to stay awake through the feeding, and we both look back on it with great fondness, even though it was incredibly tiring. I remember one night -- it was like four in the morning -- and we were up trying to change our son's diaper, and he was just screaming at the top of his mini-lungs and kicking his little hands and feet. He was beet red and just as pissed as he could be. I held this screaming little baby out away from my body so my eardrums didn't explode, and I looked over at my wife, and we were both so exhausted that we simultaneously burst into hysterical laughter. He didn't find it funny, but he paused long enough for us to change his diaper. We kept giggling for 20 minutes until we put him down in his crib, and then we literally fell into bed.

Was it hard getting up numerous times a night? Yup. Would I have wanted to do it alone, all by myself? Nope. I don't imagine my wife would want to either, and that's why I was there. Be a great dad, and be there with her for all the feedings. I promise you, it'll kick your butt some nights, but you'll survive, and you'll look back with fond memories. Hey, I said having a kid was wonderful. I didn't say it was easy.

Be Lovey; Treat Kids Fairly

5. Be affectionate with your baby, especially as they get older. Kids need love, but they don't understand the word "love" on any level. You might as well use the term "phalanges" with them because, to an infant, it means the same thing -- nothing. So holding your baby and telling her, "Daddy loves you," is pretty much meaningless.

But you know what kids do understand -- a loving touch. Hugging them, snuggling them, and kissing them makes them feel loved. It's a basic way humans communicate love, but some fathers feel awkward showing love in this way. Get over it. A kid needs to feel loved, always, and you have within your power a guaranteed way to make them know they're loved. A kid that knows they're loved is a happy kid -- the kind of kid that runs and jumps into your arms when they see you.

You will never, never regret being affectionate with your child, because you will be able to send a "you're loved" message right to your kid's heart anytime with just a simple peck on the forehead, a quick hug before school, or even just tousling their hair as they walk by. A dad's loving touch is amazingly powerful; it sends a message to your child that words can't always convey. By the way, high-fiving doesn't count. It's a celebration -- not a sign of affection.

6. Treat your kid the way you wanted to be treated when you were a kid. Take a look back on how you were raised. Look back at how your dad showed, or didn't show, his love for you. How he disciplined you, encouraged you, criticized you, and molded you. If you had a great dad, now's your chance to take everything he showed you and put it to good use.

If you didn't have a great dad, this is your chance, your golden opportunity to make up for every fatherly injustice he did to you by being to your child a much better and more sensitive, involved, loving dad than he was to you. This is your chance to show your dad, and the world, "This is what being a good dad looks like." Provide your child with a level of love, patience, understanding, and affection that shows your own dad how it's done.

Never Hurt; Listen to Yourself

7. Don't ever abuse your kid. Ever. The same goes for your wife. There is never, ever a reason to hit a woman or abuse a child. It is the height of cowardice and a disgrace to fathers everywhere to hurt any woman or child. It is impossible to be a great dad if you hurt your child or your child's mommy even once. It dishonors you, your entire life, and everything you've worked this hard to achieve. Pass this on to your kids.

Besides hitting, never be verbally cruel to your child. Never call him stupid, an idiot, or any name that makes him think he's less than the special child he is. Make it your goal to give your kid so much love and praise that it gives him a high-self-esteem problem.

8. Advice on raising children is everywhere, and it's all contradictory, so be very careful which guide you follow. Unfortunately, there is no bottom line, no official guide, no absolute authority on raising kids, so there are literally hundreds of books on how to be a good parent and raise kids right. One book says if your baby cries, pick them up. Another book says let 'em cry it out. A third book says pick them up once, then let them cry it out. A fourth... well, you get the idea.

So how do you know which one is right? You don't. So you have to do some research and decide for yourself. If you read only one book, you'll probably go with that method. Talk to other parents, read books, parenting magazines, and online articles to get as much information as possible, then decide which of them makes the most sense to you.

Don't go with things that don't feel right in your gut. If it feels wrong to you, it's probably wrong for your baby. With the Internet, there's a ton of information out there, and not all of it is good. Go with your gut, and listen to that little voice inside your head that usually keeps you from making big mistakes.

Enjoy Every Minute; Learn & Give

9. Enjoy yourself. It all goes by too quickly. My son is 7 now, and if you asked me if it feels like seven years since he was born, I'd have to tell you it feels more like two. Maybe two and a half.

The time you have with your kids absolutely flies by, so really take the time to enjoy it. Take time out of work to be with them. Call in sick one day and take them to the amusement park. Pick up your kid from school and go hit a bucket of balls with them, or volunteer to be the coach of their soccer team. Believe me, you won't wind up on your deathbed saying, "I wish I'd spent more time at the office." You'll say, "I wish I'd spent more time with my daughter."

10. Learn what kids want most from their dad. I heard a good friend of mine, Dave, once reveal what kids really want most from their dads. They don't care what kind of job you have, or how many awards or accolades you've garnered in your industry, or what kind of degree you have. What they want most is your time. They want to be with you. They want your attention, your ear, your opinion, your focus -- they just want to be around their dad. They need "dad time" and they want you around as much as possible.

I remember Dave mentioning that as long as he was at home, even if he was asleep on the couch, his kids were happy because "dad was there." They just want you with them, around them, and basically being "there." Now, what happens if you (dad) aren't around enough? Problems start. They start doing things to get your attention, and not all of them are as well thought out as you'd hope. A kid whose dad spends a lot of time with him will generally stay out of trouble -- a kid who constantly needs to do things to get dad's attention generally won't.

All right, now that you know what they want, what's in it for you (besides the fact that it will save you untold bail money)? Every minute you spend with them rubs off on them. Every story, every moral, every hug, every kiss, every time you discipline them, every time you wipe away their tears, every time you buy them popcorn at the movies, every time they see you show compassion to someone less fortunate -- it all rubs off. Your kindness, your wisdom, your examples, your lame jokes. They all rub off.

Remember, you're molding a little life here, a very impressionable little mind, and you are your kid's role model. Their hero. Show him how it's supposed to be done; as your child grows older, you'll be amazed at how you two wind up having so much in common. Why is that? Because he's just like his dad.

Excerpted from The Book for Guys Who Don't Want Kids by Scott Kelby (Fair Shake Press, 2005).
All content here, including advice from doctors and other health professionals, should be considered as opinion only. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others. Originally published on AmericanBaby.com, March 2006.

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What happens to a guy whose fear of fatherhood is up there with snakes and shark attacks? If he's anything like Scott Kelby, he writes a book, helping other men deal with the realities -- both messy and amazing -- of becoming a dad. "I absolutely, positively, didn't want to have kids," he writes.

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I want my dispensary to be my main source of income.

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Pot is a hot topic, even for those who don't smoke it.

The recent legalization of marijuana in several states has been an unprecedented process. By legalizing both recreational and medical marijuana, states have opened up a new industry-one that people are clamoring to take advantage of.

If you are one of the many entrepreneurs interested in opening a marijuana dispensary, this article can guide you through the necessary steps.

We talked with two dispensary owners from pioneering states: Mitch Woolhiser, owner of Northern Lights Cannabis Company in Denver, Colorado, and Lincoln Fish, CEO of OutCo Labs, which manages the dispensary Outliers Collective in San Diego, California. While the details of their experiences are very different, their general attitude was similar: Opening a dispensary is not for the faint of heart. It is a business that takes a lot of hard work and time before it becomes profitable.

"It's one of the hardest things you could possibly do," says Mitch Woolhiser. "It can't just be this fun thing. It has to be taken seriously." In addition to requiring a lot of effort, opening a dispensary requires careful compliance with laws and regulations, as well as a large amount of starter capital. "You're not going to make money if you aren't following these rules," Lincoln Fish says. "It's an expensive business to run."

But if hard work, up front cash, and bureaucratic red tape don't deter you, opening a dispensary is an opportunity for you to be a pioneer in what is soon to be a massive, national industry. Marijuana Business Daily projects revenue generated by dispensaries and retail stores to reach between $6.5 and $8 billion by 2019.

"It's still at the ground floor of the whole thing, considering the federal illegality of it," says Mitch. "It's still a good time to get in."

Read on to find out how you can open a dispensary.

Step 1: Assess your commitment and eligibility

Lincoln Fish moved into the medical marijuana industry to challenge hypocrisy.

"I was with most people. I thought, 'These are drugs, this is bad,'" Lincoln says. "Then you start to learn how much hypocrisy surrounds marijuana. Alcohol and tobacco are far more damaging, far more addictive. Schedule 1 Narcotics by legal definition are highly addictive, shown to have no medicinal benefits and can be harmful to the point of lethality. Alcohol and tobacco meet all three of those requirements and marijuana meets none."

Mitch Woolhiser saw a magnificent and unusual business opportunity in the budding marijuana industry in 2010. "This is something that, as a business person, you can do that's almost revolutionary," he says. "It's the opportunity of a lifetime. What product suddenly becomes legal that hasn't been for a long time? Not since alcohol prohibition has something like this happened and it probably won't again in my lifetime."

But Mitch and Lincoln both warn against opening a dispensary solely for financial gain. "If the only reason you're getting into this is money, you're not going to have a good time," says Mitch. "It's not a 'get rich quick' scheme. It's a long game. You have to have something more to motivate you."

It's also important to recognize that background checks are often required, not only for the owner of a dispensary, but also the investors and employees. If you have a criminal background, you may not be eligible to open a dispensary.

Furthermore, if medical marijuana is not legalized in your state, any dispensary is liable to be shut down by the federal government. If there are no existing laws or regulations in your area, opening a dispensary probably isn't a good idea. "If the city or county hasn't passed anything, then the default position of the state is that there is nothing legal there," Lincoln says. "You have to be very careful. That could be a problem. You could get shut down."

Considering the money you will spend opening a dispensary, trying to operate one illegally is not worth the risk.

Step 2: Do your research

The dispensary business is rife with legislation and regulation. To be successful as a dispensary owner, you must understand not only the existing laws around marijuana cultivation and sales, but also the proposed laws and changes that will go into effect in coming years.

Lincoln Fish recommends reading the Cole Memorandum, which gives guidance to U.S. state attorneys on how to prioritize the enforcement of marijuana laws. If you're in California, he also recommends reading Proposition 215 and Proposition 420.

"In most cities and counties, it's very easy to study and see what the legislation is," says Lincoln. "Either it's banned altogether, [or] if it's not, they've already put out ordinances and guidance."

The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, or NORML, has a database of detailed marijuana laws and penalties for every state in the U.S. These tables from the National Conference of State Legislatures are also useful.

"There are a lot of rules to follow and I would strongly advise that people get help right from the get-go: a lawyer and a CPA," says Lincoln. This will help you stay in compliance with the law and access permits and licenses. NORML has a database of lawyers from all over the U.S. who specialize in the marijuana industry.

Both Mitch and Lincoln recommend a hard study of U.S. Code 280E, a tricky tax code that can slip up dispensary owners, particularly in budgeting.

"If you are dealing with a Schedule I narcotic, which marijuana is, you can only deduct the cost of goods sold from your revenue before you do your taxes," Lincoln explains. "Say you buy the product for $500, put it on the shelf, sell it for $1000. You would have to pay taxes on $500 profit before you can take out your rent, employees, so forth. What is happening to a lot of dispensaries is they're getting zinged with enormous tax bills. This is another reason that opening a dispensary isn't necessarily as lucrative as people think."

Step 3: Find a rental property

"The key is really just to find a compliant property," says Lincoln. In San Diego, a compliant property has a lot of requirements: "To be a compliant property, it has to be more than 1000 feet from a church, 1000 feet from a school, 1000 feet from a residential zone, and 1000 feet from another compliant property," says Lincoln. "There is a map online that shows all the San Diego county compliant properties."

It's important to remember that, because of the ever-changing environment of the marijuana industry, a property that is compliant now might not be in two years. "Make sure that when you do access a property that it will be consistent with new laws that take effect in 2017, 2018," Lincoln says. "Make sure you don't open one and get shut down because it runs afoul of the new laws."

A compliant property means different things in different places, and even if you find a compliant property, you have to be honest with the landlord about your plans to open a dispensary there, and they might not be supportive. Mitch Woolhiser dealt with this while searching for space for his dispensary back in 2010. "Some landlords just didn't want to deal with it and still won't," Mitch says. "Some of that is because of the federal illegality and the liability they might have."

Landlords are sometimes under pressure from law enforcement. Mother Earth Collective, which used to operate in the space that is now Outliers Collective in San Diego, was indirectly forced out by the DEA. "The DEA sent out letters to landlords all over country and said, 'Hey, if we decide to come down on these guys, you can be liable if you're renting to them.' The landlord kicked them out and the collective closed," Lincoln explains.

When searching for a place to open your dispensary, also consider if it is convenient for potential customers. "For planning purposes, location is the most important thing for the retail side," says Mitch. "People are coming to you because you're a destination or because you're convenient." Identifying a target market can help you choose a good location for your store.

It's also important that most, if not all members of your community (even the non-users who won't be your customers) are comfortable with a dispensary in their area. If your county or city has had ballot proposals on marijuana laws, Mitch recommends accessing ballot results for any area where you are considering a property.

"In Colorado, we had a vote in 2012 on Amendment 64, which is the recreational law," he says. "I accessed the Secretary of State's website and got the election results for Edgewater [where Northern Lights Cannabis Company is located]. In Edgewater, it passed for 70 percent. Another community, you can find out that information. You can find out the results of those ballot questions and decide, based on that information, whether the community is going to be welcoming or not."

420MLS is also an excellent resource if you are looking to purchase marijuana-friendly property.

Step 4: Write a business plan

When an industry is saturated in the way the medical marijuana industry is, it's all the more important that you appear professional and prepared with a solid business plan.

Mitch, who used Bplans to write his dispensary business plan in 2010, says a business plan separates you from the crowd. "Write a business plan," he says. "There are a lot of people who get involved in this business and aren't very serious. Understand what you're getting into and don't just listen to somebody who's all high in the sky."

Access capital

Any good business plan will start with how to access capital, which is one of the most challenging parts of the marijuana industry because you need a lot of it.

"The barriers to getting in are still pretty high," says Mitch. "It's going to take a lot more money than it used to. We got into it with about fifty thousand dollars and some credit cards. Now, you wouldn't be able to break into it without at least a half a million because of the regulations. Also, because there is so much competition."

Because of the federal illegality of marijuana, you can't get a bank loan for a dispensary. Lincoln recommends sticking to personal funds for your starter capital. "You're better off right now really focusing on the angel investors, friends and family to get yourself to the point where you can acquire a property," Lincoln says. "A lot of investors aren't going to talk to you until you have a lot of the pieces under your belt. If you have a compliant property, it becomes easier."

Determine your budget

Another consideration in your business plan is a clear, concise budget.

"You have to build a budget and take 280E into account," says Lincoln. "You will not be able to do it on a shoestring. You have to be prepared for it to grow slowly."

Consult wholesalers in your area to find out the cost of products. "For the business plan itself, you need to know your costs as far as what it will cost to get the product," Mitch says.

Besides your product costs, there are other considerations for your budget:

Rent cost

Cost of license

Licensing application fee

Employee salary

Transportation and storage of product

Security

Research the competition

In addition to knowing about the licensed competition in your area, opening a dispensary requires you to think of another demographic of competition that presents more challenge: unlicensed operators.

"Understand the unlicensed competition landscape in that area," says Lincoln. "What is law enforcement doing about it or planning to do about? The truth is, the unlicensed ones are being allowed to run rampant. Law enforcement works on shutting them down but it's not a high priority because they can't get any convictions."

Look in local publications for dispensary advertisements, both brick-and-mortar, and delivery. This will give you an idea of the unlicensed operators in your area. Additionally, research crime busts on unlicensed operations in your area. Are the unlicensed dispensaries being allowed to function freely, or is law enforcement working to get rid of them? This will be good information to inform your business plan.

"It's very difficult to build up a patient base when you have people next door who are open 24/7, which you won't be able to do, who are not paying taxes or social security for their employees, who are not paying federal taxes," Lincoln says. "That will kill you. You have to play by the rules and they don't."

Conduct market research

Your business plan presents an important opportunity for you to identify your customers. This will help inform the marketing and pricing strategy for your dispensary. "Know your market," says Lincoln. "Know your demographic and psychographic. Is there consumer demand? Where is it? This will also dictate some of your pricing as well."

Step 5: Get licensed

Getting licensed to open a medical marijuana dispensary is usually difficult and expensive. "I have known people who have spent upwards of three to four thousand dollars in legal expenses to get their license," says Lincoln. For instance, in Colorado, the application fee for a medical marijuana dispensary can cost as much as $15,000.

"Be prepared to spend a lot of time on compliance and have a lot of resources ready for that," says Mitch. "A lot of consolidation has been going on here because a lot of smaller operations can't keep up with the compliance. It's a full-time job."

Take a look at Colorado's Retail and Medical Marijuana License Application Process for some idea of what your application process might look like.

Step 6: Get product

Obtaining a good product for your marijuana dispensary, and ensuring you do it legally, will be a central part of opening a successful dispensary. Many dispensaries grow their own marijuana, and in some states this is mandatory. Mitch Woolhiser has his own cultivation facility for Northern Lights Cannabis Company and says that should be on the horizon for any dispensary owner.

"Open a retail facility first and then put an eye toward having your own cultivation facility," he says. "Get the retail off the ground with wholesale products. I would recommend that."

Opening a dispensary doesn't mean you have to sell marijuana in its typical form. Many patients prefer edibles, oils, dabs, and concentrates. Mitch says sellers of these forms of marijuana are easy to find and do business with. "When it comes to edibles and concentrates, those companies have sales forces," he says. "Just reach out to them and establish contact."

See the Resources section at the end of this article for a selection of wholesale medical marijuana providers.

Step 7: Market your dispensary

Decide what makes your dispensary competitive, and sell it.

"You can compete on price or other things, and I chose other things," says Mitch. "We try to be more boutique. For us, you ask all the questions, you get to smell and look at each type before you decide which to buy. It creates more of a unique buying experience."

Outliers Collective also gears their advertising toward a more mature audience. "We're looking for longer-term customers that come to us because they want the service, quality, and consistency," Lincoln says. "We want to get the word out to a different kind of patient, people who care about all the things that a licensed place represents."

Your target market will inform some of your marketing choices, but Lincoln says there are some must-haves for marketing your new dispensary. "You have to be on Weed Maps and Leafly, " he says. Weed Maps and Leafly are applications that allow patients to search for dispensaries in their area. Lincoln also uses some magazine advertisements and has a billboard on California State Route 67.

Mitch recommends marketing through social media accounts like Instagram, encouraging customers to give Google reviews, and keeping your website updated with proper SEO strategies.

It's also important to check into the regulations around marketing your dispensary. There are many methods Mitch can't use in Colorado: "You can't advertise on the radio, TV, billboard," he says. "There are a lot of restrictions. You can't market toward out of state people. You can't do pop up ads."

Mitch and Lincoln both use loyalty programs which help market their dispensaries by word of mouth. A program that gives customers store credit when they refer a new customer, like the Outliers Collective Jane Dough program, will expand your customer base.

Stay informed

With this information, you have a good chance of opening a successful, lucrative dispensary.

Lincoln Fish encourages those with the right motivations to join the relatively new industry of medical marijuana: "I would love to see more responsible, credible people get into our space and open up dispensaries and do a good job with it," he says. "The more we do to show the general public just how important this is and how responsible we can be and how well it can be done, the more we'll get the public opinion on our side."

With marijuana legislation changing often, it is important to stay abreast of new information even after you've opened your dispensary, to ensure you are operating in a safe and legal manner. Refer to the resources below for more information.

Resources

NORML: A one-stop resource for all information about the fight to legalize marijuana nationwide.

Cannabis Business Times: A resource recommended by Mitch Woolhiser.

420 Intel: A blog recommended by Lincoln Fish.

MJ Business Daily: Recommended by Lincoln Fish, this resource provides consistent research, statistics, and coverage of the legalized marijuana business. They also provide an annual fact book, eBooks, and an industry directory.

The Green Solution: Wholesale medical marijuana supplier.

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How to Open a Marijuana Dispensary - Bplans Blog

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Pot is a hot topic, even for those who don't smoke it. The recent legalization of marijuana in several states has been an unprecedented process. By legalizing both recreational and medical marijuana, states have opened up a new industry-one that people are clamoring to take advantage of.

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Standard High School Graduation Requirements (50-state)

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How to Get Good Grades - UMass Dartmouth

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Organize your study time: before you begin, make a plan. Decide exactly what you want to get done. Always allow more time than you think you will need and prioritize your work to make sure that you have enough time for the things that are most important.