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In abusive relationships a lot of manipulation is used. It’s often used to enforce the person to stay in that relationship and make them believe that they are nothing without the relationship. If that happens then it makes the person being abused feel like less and they can’t leave.

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Emotional abuse is any act including making a partner trapped, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth. All of those things can easily happen in a relationship and they happen quite often. Emotional abuse often goes undetected but it is easy for it to get out of hand.

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Emotional abuse can happen to anyone at any time in their lives. Children, teens and adults all experience emotional abuse. And emotional abuse can have devastating consequences on relationships and all those involved. Just because there is no physical mark doesn't mean the abuse isn't real and isn't a problem or even a crime in some countries.

Definition of Emotional Abuse

One definition of emotional abuse is: "any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth."

Emotional abuse is also known as psychological abuse or as "chronic verbal aggression" by researchers. People who suffer from emotional abuse tend to have very low self-esteem, show personality changes (such as becoming withdrawn) and may even become depressed, anxious or suicidal.

Emotional Abuse Signs and Symptoms

Emotional abuse symptoms vary but can invade any part of a person's life. Signs of emotional abuse include:

Emotional abuse, like other types of abuse, tends to take the form of a cycle. In a relationship, this cycle starts when one partner emotionally abuses the other, typically to show dominance. The abuser then feels guilt, but not about what he (or she) has done, but more over the consequences of his actions. The abuser then makes up excuses for his own behavior to avoid taking responsibility for what has happened. The abuser then resumes "normal" behavior as if the abuse never happened and may, in fact, be extra charming, apologetic and giving - making the abused party believe that the abuser is sorry. The abuser then begins to fantasize about abusing his partner again and sets up a situation in which more emotional abuse can take place.

More information on Dynamics of Emotional Abuse in Relationships.

Examples of Emotional Abuse

In some countries emotional abuse is defined and the following examples of emotional abuse are given by Justice Canada:

Threats of violence or abandonment

Intentionally frightening

Making an individual fear that they will not receive the food or care they need

Lying

Failing to check allegations of abuse against them

Making derogative or slanderous statements about an individual to others

Socially isolating an individual, failing to let them have visitors

Withholding important information

Demeaning an individual because of the language they speak

Intentionally misinterpreting traditional practices

Repeatedly raising the issue of death

Telling an individual that they are too much trouble

Ignoring or excessively criticizing

Being over-familiar and disrespectful

Unreasonably ordering an individual around; treating an individual like a servant or child

article references

next: Emotional Abuse Test: Am I Emotionally Abused?
~ all articles on emotional-psychological abuse
~ all articles on abuse

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Emotional Abuse: Definitions, Signs, Symptoms, Examples

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Emotional abuse can happen to anyone at any time in their lives. Children, teens and adults all experience emotional abuse. And emotional abuse can have devastating consequences on relationships and all those involved. Just because there is no physical mark doesn't mean the abuse isn't real and isn't a problem or even a crime in some countries.

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It begins with small offenses that slowly become more controlling overtime. They often give “allowances” or “budgets” without any input from their partner. They demand knowledge of money spent. They pressure then into committing their job and feel entitled to their partners money or assets. Without access to money and other resources, survivors often face a new set of issues to their safety and long-term security.

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Written by Writer's Corps member Adrianna Nine

When we talk about relationship abuse, we typically focus on physical and emotional mistreatment. But financial abuse or the control of one's ability to acquire, use and maintain money by an intimate partner occurs in up to 99 percent of domestic violence cases.

So, why aren't people talking about it?

For starters, this silent form of abuse is not easily recognized. It begins with small offenses that slowly become more controlling overtime. This may involve a partner insisting they handle finances without your input or demanding you stop working altogether. Though limiting your ability to earn money is not the only way abusive partners exert control. They may also limit your access to "anything you haven't paid for, like a car or other basic necessities," Jennifer White-Reid, Vice-President of Domestic Violence Programs at the Urban Resource Institute, told Bustle.

Recognizing The Signs of Financial Abuse

Financial abuse can vary from situation to situation since there isn't one way to handle money in a relationship. This makes identifying abusive tactics all the more difficult, as abusive partners may argue that "this is just how the relationship works." Still, there are concrete tactics abusive may use to keep their partner trapped.
You are in a financially abusive relationship if your partner...

Gives you "allowances" or "budgets" without your input

Requiring you to account for everything you spend

Pressures you to quit your job or sabotages your work responsibilities

Feels entitled to your money or assets

Spends your money without your knowledge

Controls how all of the household finances are spent

Limits your ability to attend job training, pursue higher education, or otherwise advance your career

Limits your access to your own bank account or mutual bank accounts

Lives in your home without working or helping with household tasks

Maxes out credit cards in your name (and then doesn't make payments on those credit cards)

Threatens to cut you off financially when you disagree

Uses funds from children's savings account without mutual agreement

Prevents you from working by hiding your keys, or offering to babysit and then not showing up

Engages in other forms of abuse like belittling or physical abuse when they get angry over your spending habits

The Impact of Financial Abuse

The impact of financial abuse can be felt long after you've left an abusive situation. Kim Pentico, director of economic justice programs for the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV), said financial abuse is "devastatingly effective because it's often not illegal."

A person who maxes out their partner's credit card and refuses to make payments ruins that person's credit and ability to find housing, purchase a vehicle, or obtain student loans. And without access to economic resources, survivors often face a new set of challenges to their safety and long-term security.

Talking About Financial Abuse

A study by the Allstate Foundation found that only 3 percent of Americans thought financial abuse would likely cause long-term effects compared to emotional (43 percent) and physical abuse (22 percent). Yet financial abuse remains the number one reason people return to toxic relationships.

So how can we as a community work to bring awareness to financial abuse? As with most things, it starts with a conversation. Christine Hennigan, a financial analyst, and advocate for women's financial literacy says it can be uncomfortable for most people to talk about money, but it's an imperative first step to recognizing abusive situations. An honest, non-judgmental conversation with someone you trust can help people realize they're being financially controlled.

Responding to Crisis

Leaving a toxic relationship is not just emotionally draining-it can also be life-threatening. In fact, the most dangerous time of an abusive relationship is post-breakup. In moments of crisis, it's difficult to think clearly, creating a safety plan in advance will help protect you and your loved ones. Reach out to a domestic violence advocate before leaving an abusive partner to prepare a safety plan or personalized strategy for exiting a toxic relationship. A domestic abuse coordinator can also connect you to other resources including legal help, counseling and safe houses.

When preparing to leave a toxic relationship make copies of your financial data like credit cards and financial statements if it's unsafe to take the originals. This will be useful later in proving who owns what. Keep this documentation in a safe place where your toxic partner can't access it until you're able to safely leave the relationship.

Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 if you believe you are in a financially abusive relationship.

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What is Financial Abuse? These Are the Signs... - One Love Foundation

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Financial abuse is known as the silent weapon. It's used in toxic relationships to financially control their partner's access to economic resources.

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Used by abusers to gain control and power in a relationship. It often occurs by an abuser taking away the victims assets so they have no escape from the relationship. Taking away their money and their phone limits their ability to leave a relationship because they behave no resources for survival without money.

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Financial abuse is a common tactic used by abusers to gain power and control in a relationship. The forms of financial abuse may be subtle or overt but in in general, include tactics to conceal information, limit the victim's access to assets, or reduce accessibility to the family finances. Financial abuse - along with emotional, physical, and sexual abuse - includes behaviors to intentionally manipulate, intimidate, and threaten the victim in order to entrap that person in the relationship. In some cases, financial abuse is present throughout the relationship and in other cases financial abuse becomes present when the survivor is attempting to leave or has left the relationship.

Financial abuse, while less commonly understood, is one of the most powerful methods of keeping a survivor trapped in an abusive relationship and deeply diminishes the victim's ability to stay safe after leaving an abusive partner. Research indicates that financial abuse occurs in 99% of domestic violence cases. Surveys of survivors reflect that concerns over their ability to provide financially for themselves and their children was one of the top reason for staying in or returning to an abusive partner. As with all forms of abuse, financial abuse occurs across all socio-economic, educational, and racial and ethnic groups.

Forms of Financial Abuse

As with other forms of abuse, financial abuse may begin subtly and progress over time. It may even look like love initially as abusers have the capacity to appear very charming and are masterful at manipulation. For example, the abuser may make statements such as, "I know you're under a lot of stress right now so why don't you just let me take care of the finances and I'll give you money each week to take care of what you need." Under these circumstances, the victim may believe that she or he should or can trust the partner she or he is in love with and may willingly give over control of the money and how it is spent. This scenario commonly leads to the abuser giving the victim less and less in "allowance" and by the time the victim decides she or he wants to take back control of the finances, she or he discovers that the accounts have all been moved or she or he no longer has knowledge or access to the family funds.

In other cases, the financial abuse may be much more overt. Abusers commonly use violence or threats of violence and intimidation to keep the victim from working or having access to the family funds. Whether subtle or overt, there are common methods that abusers use to gain financial control over their partner. These include:

Forbidding the victim to work.

Sabotaging work or employment opportunities by stalking or harassing the victim at the workplace or causing the victim to lose her/his job by physically battering prior to important meetings or interviews.

Forbidding the victim from attending job training or advancement opportunities.

Controlling how all of the money is spent.

Not including the victim in investment or banking decisions.

Not allowing the victim access to bank accounts.

Withholding money or giving "an allowance."

Forcing the victim to write bad checks or file fraudulent tax returns.

Running up large amounts of debt on joint accounts.

Refusing to work or contribute to the family income.

Withholding funds for the victim or children to obtain basic needs such as food and medicine.

Hiding assets.

Stealing the victim's identity, property, or inheritance.

Forcing the victim to work in a family business without pay.

Refusing to pay bills and ruining the victims' credit score.

Forcing the victim to turn over public benefits or threatening to turn the victim in for "cheating or misusing benefits."

Filing false insurance claims.

Refusing to pay or evading child support or manipulating the divorce process by drawing it out by hiding or not disclosing assets.

The Impact of Financial Abuse

The short- and long-term effects of financial abuse can be devastating. In the short-term, access to assets is imperative to staying safe. Without assets, survivors are often unable to obtain safe and affordable housing or the funds to provide for themselves or their children. With realistic fears of homelessness, it is little wonder that survivors sometimes return to an abusive partner.

For those who manage to escape the abuse and survive initially, they often face overwhelming odds in obtaining long-term security and safety. Ruined credit scores, sporadic employment histories, and legal issues caused by the abuse make it extremely difficult to gain independence, safety, and long-term security.
Read more: Financial Abuse Fact Sheet Hoja Informativa sobre el Maltrato Financiero Economic Justice The Allstate Foundation Moving Ahead Curriculum - Online

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Financial abuse occurs in 99% of domestic violence cases. Learn more about this form of abuse and access resources for survivors and advocates.

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This is the sign that women in abusive relationships use to signal that they need help. It is used in public and it is important for people to know what it is. If you see a woman use it call the police quickly.

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Going to a woman’s shelter is vital for any woman in an abusive relationship. Women’s shelters provide food and clothing for women and need. They also have sources for mothers and often they run school busses to the shelters allowing children to get an eduction. Often places also help women get jobs and provide them with what they need to get back on their feet.

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Columbus Womens Clinic – Need Help? Call Us.

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800.799.SAFE (7233)

If a woman is in an abusive relationship it is vital for her to call that phone number. That phone number is the domestic ab use hotline, at the domestic abuse hotline women are helped get out of that type of relationships.

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There are many risks to staying in an abusive relationship. Damage to the baby, emotional and physical. Abuse directed towards the baby, miscarriage, stillbirth, or premature baby’s. There are also effects on the baby after birth such as

Weighing too little at birth

Having trouble nursing or taking a bottle

Having sleeping problems

Being harder to comfort than other babies

Having problems learning to walk, talk and learn normally

Experiencing lasting emotional trauma

Being physically and sexually abused

Being hurt during a fight

All of those things are good reasons to leave abusive relationships.

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Domestic violence is the most common pregnancy health problem. See a list of community resources community resources to help you develop a safety plan for you and your baby.

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Recognize the signs of domestic violence against women

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Sometimes domestic violence begins or increases during pregnancy, putting the health of the woman and the babies health at serious risk. Women are constantly putting themselves and their children at risk when staying in an abusive relationships and it’s important for them to leave.

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Recognize the signs of domestic violence against women

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Domestic violence can happen to anyone. Understand how to break the cycle of abuse.

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emotional abuse is any behavior that hurts another persons emotions, insecurity, or character. These behaviors include continuous degradation, intimidation, manipulation, brainwashing, or control of another to the destruction of the individual.

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Types of Domestic Violence

When the general public thinks about domestic violence, they usually think in terms of physical assault that results in visible injuries to the victim. This is only one type of abuse. There are several categories of abusive behavior, each of which has its own devastating consequences. Lethality involved with physical abuse may place the victim at higher risk, but the long term destruction of personhood that accompanies the other forms of abuse is significant and cannot be minimized.

Please explore the following sections to learn more about how to identify domestic violence.

Control Controlling behavior is a way for the batterer to maintain dominance over the victim. Controlling behavior, the belief that they are justified in the controlling behavior, and the resultant abuse is the core issue in abuse of people. It is often subtle, almost always insidious, and pervasive. This may include but is not limited to:

Physical Abuse: According to the AMEND Workbook for Ending Violent Behavior, physical abuse is any physically aggressive behavior, withholding of physical needs, indirect physically harmful behavior, or threat of physical abuse. This may include but is not limited to:

Hitting, kicking, biting, slapping, shaking, pushing, pulling, punching, choking, beating, scratching, pinching, pulling hair, stabbing, shooting, drowning, burning, hitting with an object, threatening with a weapon, or threatening to physically assault.

Withholding of physical needs including interruption of sleep or meals, denying money, food, transportation, or help if sick or injured, locking victim into or out of the house, refusing to give or rationing necessities.

Abusing, injuring, or threatening to injure others like children, pets, or special property.

Forcible physical restraint against the victim's will, being trapped in a room or having the exit blocked, being held down.

The batterer hitting or kicking walls, doors, or other inanimate objects during an argument, throwing things in anger,destruction of property.

Holding the victim hostage.

Sexual Abuse: Sexual abuse is using sex in an exploitative fashion or forcing sex on another person. Having consented to sexual activity in the past does not indicate current consent. Sexual abuse may involve both verbal and physical behavior. This may include, but is not limited to:

Emotional Abuse & Intimidation: According to the AMEND Workbook for Ending Violent Behavior, emotional abuse is any behavior that exploits anther's vulnerability, insecurity, or character. Such behaviors include continuous degradation, intimidation, manipulation, brainwashing, or control of another to the detriment of the individual(AMEND 3). This may include but is not limited to:

Isolation: Isolation is a form of abuse often closely connected to controlling behaviors. It is not an isolated behavior, but the outcome of many kinds of abusive behaviors. By keeping the victim from seeing who they wants to see, doing what they want to do, setting and meeting goals, and controlling how the victim thinks and feels, the abuser is isolating the victim from the resources (personal and public) which may help the victim leave the relationship. By keeping the victim socially isolated, the batterer is keeping the victim from contact with the world which might not reinforce the abuser's perceptions and beliefs. Isolation often begins as an expression of his love for the victim with statements like "if you really loved me, you would want to spend time with me, not your family". As it progresses, the isolation expands, limiting or excluding the victim's contact with anyone but the batterer. Eventually, the victim is left totally alone and without the internal and external resources to change their life.
Some victims isolate themselves from existing resources and support systems because of the shame of bruises or other injuries, the abuser's behavior in public, or the abuser's treatment of friends or family. Self-isolation may also develop from fear of public humiliation or from fear of harm to herself or others. The victim may also feel guilty for the abuser's behavior, the condition of the relationship, or a myriad of other reasons, depending on the messages received from the abuser.

Verbal Abuse: Coercion, Threats, & Blame: Verbal abuse is any abusive language used to denigrate, embarrass or threaten the victim. This may include but is not limited to:

Threatening to hurt or kill the victim or their children, family, pets, property or reputation.

Name calling ('ugly', 'bitch', 'whore', or 'stupid')

Telling victim they are unattractive or undesirable.

Yelling, screaming, rampaging, terrorizing or refusing to talk

Using Male Privilege: As long as we as a culture accept the principle and privilege of male dominance, men will continue to be abusive. As long as we as a culture accept and tolerate violence against women, men will continue to be abusive.

According to Barbara Hart in Safety for Women: Monitoring Batterers' Programs:
All men benefit from the violence of batterers. There is no man who has not enjoyed the male privilege resulting from male domination reinforced by the use of physical violence . . . All women suffer as a consequence of men's violence. Battering by individual men keeps all women in line. While not every woman has experienced violence, there is no woman in this society who has not feared it, restricting her activities and her freedom to avoid it. Women are always watchful knowing that they may be the arbitrary victims of male violence. Only the elimination of sexism, the end of cultural supports for violence, and the adoption of a system of beliefs and values embracing equality and mutuality in intimate relationships will end men's violence against women.

Domestic violence is about power and control. A feminist analysis of woman battering rejects theories that attribute the causes of violence to family dysfunction, inadequate communications skills, women's provocation, stress, chemical dependency, lack of spiritual relationship to a deity, economic hardship, class practices, racial/ethnic tolerance, or other factors. These issues may be associated with battering of women, but they do not cause it. Removing these factors will not end men's violence against women.

Batterers behave abusively to control their partner's behavior, thereby achieving and maintaining power over their partners and getting their own needs and desires met quickly and completely. There are also many secondary benefits of violence to the batterer. A batterer may choose to be violent because he finds it fun to terrorize his partner, because there is a release of tension in the act of assault, because it demonstrates manhood, or because violence is erotic for him. Violence is a learned behavior and batterers choose to use violence. The victim is not part of the problem. The victim may accept responsibility for causing the batterer to lose their temper,î but the truth is, the abuser must be held accountable for his behavior.

Four widespread cultural conditions allow and encourage men to abuse women. These are:

Objectification of women and the belief that women exist for the 'satisfaction of men's personal, sexual, emotional and physical needs'.

An entitlement to male authority with a right and obligation to control, coerce, and/or punish her independence.

That the use of physical force is acceptable, appropriate, and effective.

Societal support for his dominance, controlling and assaultive behavior. By failing to intervene aggressively against the abuse, the culture condones the violence.

Economic Abuse: Financial abuse is a way to control the victim through manipulation of economic resources.
This may include, but is not limited to:

Controlling the family income and either not allowing the victim access to money or rigidly limiting their access to family funds. This may also include keeping financial secrets or hidden accounts, putting the victim on an allowance or allowing the victim no say in how money is spent, or making the victim turn their paycheck over to the abuser. Causing the victim to lose a job or preventing them from taking a job. The abuser can make the victim lose their job by making them late for work, refusing to provide transportation to work, or by calling/harassing/calling the victim at work.

Spending money for necessities (food, rent, utilities) on nonessential items (drugs, alcohol, hobbies.)

Material from Women's Center and Shelter of Greater Pittsburgh Volunteer Training Manual, AMEND, and the ACESDV safety plan manual were used to develop this section.

Arizona law defines stalking as follows:

Arizona Revised Statute 13-2923. Stalking; classification; definitions
A. A person commits stalking if the person intentionally or knowingly engages in a course of conduct that is directed toward another person and if that conduct either:

1. Would cause a reasonable person to fear for the person's safety or the safety of that person's immediate family member and that person in fact fears for their safety or the safety of that person's immediate family member.

2. Would cause a reasonable person to fear physical injury to or death of that of that person or that person's immediate family member and that person in fact fears physical injury to or death of that person or that person's immediate family member.

B. Stalking, under subsection A, paragraph 1 of this section is a class 5 felony. Stalking under subsection A, paragraph 2 is a class 3 felony.

C. For the purposes of this section:

1. "Course of conduct" means maintaining visual or physical proximity to a specific person or directing verbal, written or other threats, whether express or implied, to a specific person on two or more occasions over a period of time, however short, but does not include constitutionally protected activity.

2. "Immediate family member" means a spouse, parent, child or sibling or any other person who regularly resides in person's household or resided in a person' s household within the past six months.

Common Stalking Behaviors

Below is a list of common stalking behaviors. Stalking during a relationship or after it has ended is high-risk behavior. It is typically defined as the willful, malicious and repeated following or harassing of another person, accompanied by a credible threat of violence. It has been increasingly recognized as a serious crime in the United States. Safety precautions must be taken if it is occurring to you or someone you love! And remember, in most states, these behaviors are also against the law.

Stalking Victim Recommendations

Please be aware that a stalking situation may never be resolved to the victim's satisfaction or to the satisfaction of the suspect. Also, not all the suggestions presented will be appropriate or feasible for all situations - each case is to be analyzed individually, as not any two relationships are the same.

This material was taken from recommendations developed by the Texas Council on Family Violence

Domestic Violence and Arizona Law

Arizona Statute defines domestic violence by the relationship between the victim and abuser and the type of crimes committed. The following is a list of qualifying relationships and types of crimes considered:

The relationship between the victim and the defendant is one of marriage or former marriage or of persons residing or having resided in the same household.

The victim and the defendant have a child in common.

The victim or the defendant is pregnant by the other party.

The victim is related to the defendant or the defendant's spouse by blood or court order as a parent, grandparent, child, grandchild, brother or sister or by marriage as a parent-in-law, grandparent-in-law, stepchild, step-grandchild, brother-in-law or sister-in-law.

The victim is a child who resides or has resides in the same household as the defendant and is related by blood to a former spouse of the defendant or to a person who resides or has resides in the same household as the defendant.

Some Common Ways Abusers Control Victims

Controlling behavior is a way for the batterer to maintain dominance over the victim. Controlling behavior, the belief that the abuser is justified in the controlling behavior, and the resulting abuse is the core issue in abuse of victims. It is often subtle, almost always insidious, and pervasive. There is a relationship between violence and other tactics of control. While physical assaults might occur frequently or infrequently, other parts of the pattern can occur daily. The use of these other tactics is effective because one battering episode builds on past episodes and sets the stage for future episodes. All tactics of the pattern interact and have profound effects on the victims. Examples of these tactics include: Isolating the victim
-Initially, an abuser might cut off the victim from supportive relationships with the claims of "loving you so much" and "wanting to be with you all the time."
- The intent is to control the victims time and isolate them from their support system of family and friends who might question the abusers actions. For example, the abuser might refuse to have telephone service or reliable transportation, monitor the victims email, or make the family change residences frequently.
- The abuser might constantly criticize the victim's family and friends or harass the victim so much that it is easier for the victim to simply cut off contact with family and friends. This maybe done by using coercion, threats or force.
- A victim might believe what their abuser says because they are so isolated they have no access to information that might contradict the abuser.
-Calling or coming home unexpectedly to check up on the victim. This may initially start as what appears to be a loving gesture, but becomes a sign of jealousy or possessiveness.
-The abuser might sexually abuse the children or force them to watch the abuse of the victim.
Using the children
-The abuser might punish the children as a way to hurt the victim. -They might use the children to spy or report on the victims activities.
-They might threaten to kidnap or kill the children if she leaves him.
-The abuser could gain legal custody, just take the children, or use custody and visitation arrangements to harass or harm her.
-They might make threats to call Child Protective Services if the victim leaves the relationship.
-The abuser might harm pets to hurt and intimidate the victim.
-The abuser might monitor the victim's whereabouts, daily activities, phone conversations or email to prove to the victim that they cannot conceal anything from them.
-An abuser may monitor phone calls, using caller ID or other number monitoring devises, or not allow the victim to make or receive phone calls. Damaging relationships
-The abuser might discredit the victim's relationships with others in the community, such as employers, clergy, friends and neighbors, by spreading rumors or distorted information. For example, an abuser might tell others that the victim is crazy or a liar or send messages from the victims email address to alienate them from friends and family.
Attacking property and pets
-The abuser might hit the wall next to where the victim is standing or throw objects at them. They might pound the table next to the victim or break their favorite possessions. An abuser might say: "Look what you made me do" or "You'll be next." -They might check the mileage on the odometer following the victims use of the car.
-Not allowing the victim freedom of choice in terms of clothing styles, makeup or hairstyle. This may include forcing the victim to dress more seductively or more conservatively than they are comfortable.
Stalking and Monitoring partner or ex-partner
-The abuser might follow, threaten, harass and terrify his partner or ex-partner, especially after they have left or separated. -Invading the victims privacy by not allowing them time and space of their own. Taken From: Understanding the Nature and Dynamics of Domestic Violence by the Missouri Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence

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arizona coalition to end sexual and domestic violence

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Domestic violence is not physical violence alone. Domestic violence is any behavior the purpose of which is to gain power and control over a spouse, partner, girl/boyfriend or intimate family member. Abuse is a learned behavior; it is not caused by anger, mental problems, drugs or alcohol, or other common excuses.

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Domestic abuse exists as part of violence against women and girls; which also includes different forms of family violence such as forced marriage, female genital mutilation that are perpetrated primarily by family members, often with multiple people doing it.

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What is domestic abuse? We define domestic abuse as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behaviour, including sexual violence, in the majo...

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In abusive relationships there is often an imbalance between the two partners. Usually they use different methods, shown on the wheel above are used. This is often used to see of abuse is occurring. The Power & Control wheel is a helpful tool in understanding the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors, which are used by an abuser to establish and keep control over their partner or any other victim in the family.

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Sexual violence is a large issue. The long term effects of sexual abuse can lead to shock, fear, sadness, and in some cases, an anxiety or depressive disorder. Sexual abuse is any sexual activity that happens without consent. It can happen with all ages and has an extreme long term effect on the victim. It is everywhere, at parties, within families, at churches, and even within families. Victims are often ignored and it has a large impact on them.

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Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff

Sexual violence is a pervasive problem. In America, one in three women and one in four men experience sexual violence in their lifetimes, according to the National Institutes of Health. And those numbers are likely an underestimate due to the shame and fear that prevent many survivors from reporting abuse.

Most victims know their assailants: About 80 percent of sexual assaults are committed by someone the survivor knows, such as a neighbor, family member, or romantic partner, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN). In cases where the offender remains in the survivor's family or community, it can be especially scary to come forward.

Perpetrators of sexual assault tend to know the victim, have committed crimes or acts of aggresion in the past, and they tend to be adults, as more than half are over age 30, according to RAINN. Some may have a mental health condition such as antisocial personality disorder but the vast majority do not. There is no singular profile for people who commit sexual abuse.

Social and cultural influence also plays a role-particularly in why men sexually assault women. Society tends to glorify violence, objectify both women's and men's bodies, and embrace set cultural scripts and group norms. Challenging these norms communally and politically could help to change the troubling prevalence of sexual assault today.

One in six men will experience sexual violence in their lifetime, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (But sexual violence statistics often underestimate the true prevalence due to underreporting.) Sexual assault occurred before age 18 for 94 percent of male victims, according to a 2009 study of more than 700 men in Virginia. Although the #MeToo movement ushered in a wave or progress for addressing sexual assault, men were largely left out of the national discussion.

Dissociative identity disorder can emerge as a result of sexual abuse, especially in children. To treat this condition-the presence of more than one identity that takes control at different times- psychotherapy is the primary treatment. Nonverbal forms of therapy such as art, play, and hypnosis may be particularly valuable as they provide outlets for expression when verbal expression is too difficult. Therapy helps process the abuse and eventually achieve a singular, unified identity.

If you're concerned that a loved one is suffering sexual abuse, asking them directly can lead to relief, support, and treatment. The signs that an adult may have been sexually assaulted include:

* Anxiety about specific situations that didn't previously prompt anxiety

* Avoiding specific people or places

* Persistent sadness or depression

* Low self-esteem

* Disturbed sleep or nightmares

* Self-harming behavior

* Suicidal thoughts

* New sexually transmitted infections

The most important thing to do is to simply listen and believe your loved one. Validate their emotions, ask questions, and avoid casting judgment. Help them explore options and resources, such as seeking medical attention, reporting the crime, calling an abuse hotline, or seeking therapy. Although you may have strong opinions, set those aside-the survivor should make every decision for themselves when they feel ready to do so.

Sexual assault often remains hidden due to a combination of denial, manipulation, and confusion. Victims of sexual assault may not report due to fear of retaliation, fear of not being believed, or fear of further experiencing the trauma. They may struggle with shame and consequently blame themselves for being "in the wrong place" or not "getting away."

Victims also must contend with the cognitive biases that inform others' beliefs when disclosing an assault. People want to believe that the world is a safe place, and it may be psychologically easier to blame the victim ("Well, she shouldn't have been running alone at night") than to accept that sudden abuse could happen to anyone.

People may also believe that perpetrators are inherently evil, so allegations against individuals like Larry Nasser or Bill Cosby, who others state to be nice people are not taken seriously. These biases and others fuel the cycle of victim-blaming that makes it difficult for survivors to come forward after an assault.

The signs that a child may have been sexually assaulted include:

* Sexually transmitted infections

* Genital injuries including bruising or bleeding

* Inappropriate sexual behavior or sexual knowledge

* Regressing to past habits such as bed-wetting or thumb-sucking

* New fear of removing clothing to change or bathe

* New fear of being alone at night or having nightmares

* New discomfort or anxiety around certain adults

* Excessive worry or fear

* Extreme agitation or angry outbursts

* Withdrawal from family and friends

If parents or caretakers are concerned about sexual abuse, they should gently but directly ask. While some children may bring up abuse themselves, many do not.

If an incident is suspected, avoid putting the child in situations in which they might encounter the potential offender or be in an unsupervised situation with an adult, until the matter is resolved.

If an incident is confirmed, report it. Reaching out to a rape crisis center, domestic violence center, or sexual assault hotline can help. (The National Sexual Assault Hotline number is 800-656-4673.)

Once the abuse has been reported, discuss next steps for the child with a doctor and mental health professional.

Some survivors of child sexual abuse dissociate to cope with chronic abuse, unconsciously disconnecting from reality to some degree. Dissociative disorders are more commonly found in victims of sexual abuse than among any other psychiatric population. Children who are 9 years old or younger are especially prone to dissociative disorders under conditions of severe sexual, physical, or emotional abuse.

Confusion, denial, fear, shame, and self-blame can lead adult victims of child sexual abuse to stay silent. Survivors could feel confused as to whether the events that occurred constitute abuse. They also may not remember the events clearly, due to the tendency for children to dissociate, or because the perpetrator gave them drugs or alcohol prior to the abusive act.

Survivors may also be in denial, unable to face the pain of admitting that abuse occurred. They could be fearful of the perpetrator's threats, of not being believed, and of potential repercussions for the family. They may feel ashamed, due to the helplessness and humiliation they experienced. They may also still blame themselves for a range of unfounded reasons. These include messages conveyed by the perpetrator, or the fact that such a stance provides a semblance of control over an overwhelmingly painful situation.

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Sexual abuse is any sexual activity that occurs without consent. Also referred to as sexual assault or sexual violence, it includes unwanted sexual touching, forced oral sex, and rape, among other sexual acts. No matter which act occurs, it's not the survivor's fault that they were assaulted-and help is available to begin healing from such abuse.

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What is "manipulation"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)

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Often the partner is a narcissist, which means a person who thinks of themself as better than someone else. They also might have an obsession or admiration for or with themself. When that happens they think of themselves as perfect and they also believe that they are the victim in every situation. They use manipulation tactics to make themself the victim which can make the other partner feel bad about themself, this can blossom into mental abuse if it happens frequently enough. The narcissist believes that their partner is in the wrong and can get angry and even violent with their “better than everyone” mindset. This becomes abuse rapidly.

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What is "manipulation"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)

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5 Signs of a Manipulative Relationship: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL TV's Studio 5

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Often in abusive relationships the dominant partner uses manipulation tactics to overpower their partner. It is mainly manipulative when a partner does it frequently. They often pick on their partner when the less dominant partner is feeling bad about themself and they abusive partner attacks them personally and makes them feel less. Feeling responsible for the partners happiness, feeling guilty for having your own needs, the inability to speak freely, being micro managed, and feeling the need to defend your partner are all signs of someone being manipulated. Often manipulation gets taken out of hand and it becomes abuse.

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5 Signs of a Manipulative Relationship: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL TV's Studio 5

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Many pregnant women face domestic abuse with their partner. When a woman finds out that she is pregnant she often will not leave her partner even if they are abusive.When women are in abusive relationships they fear leaving their partner in fear that they would hurt their children or hurt them more. Children who grow up in abusive homes are more likely to be abused and have behavioral problems than are other children.