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https://youtu.be/6Qpx7mNa1i4

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Saying there are only two possible options, when in fact, there are many more.

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In this quote, the grandma is yearning for Thomas to stay. She tells him "Something" and he contradicts her with "Nothing". They both want to an answer to their situation, but they are on completely different sides. They are stuck in a state of contradiction and not willing to compromise. They think the answer to staying together is going to come on it's own, causing them to be stuck in a state of loss for their relationship and not allowing them to work together to get over their own grief.

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Oskar's grandma goes to the airport to try understanding why Thomas is leaving, and persuading him to stay:
"He pointed at, Broken and confused.
I pointed at, So sad.
He pointed at, Broken and confused.
I pointed at, Something.
He pointed at, Nothing.
I pointed at, Something" (184).

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In this quote, Oskar is considering the different sides of his situation. He says he is getting a "little lighter" but also "a little heavier" every time he looks for the key. He has fixed his mind into thinking in a false dichotomy. He thinks he can only be "closer to Dad" or closer to Mom. Not both. This makes him stuck in a mental state that doesn't allow him to move past his Dad's death, leaving him stuck in a state of grief.

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Oskar reflects on the eight months he has been searching for the key that he thinks is related to his dad and thinks, "Every time I left our apartment to go searching for the lock, I became a little lighter, because I was getting closer to Dad. But I also became a little heavier, because I was getting farther from Mom" (52).

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In Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer uses dichotomies to show how expecting a simple answer to a loss, it is harder to move on from grief.

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In Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer uses dichotomies to show how expecting a simple answer to a loss, it is harder to move on from grief.