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Extensive, research-backed profiles of 16 personality types: learn how different personalities approach romantic relationships, career choices, friendships, parenthood, and more.

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Have you ever become so stressed out that you feel out of control? Do you feel like you're acting in a way that is completely unlike you? Have you ever tried to help a loved one who is stressed out, and everything you've said or done has only made things worse?

I know I have. Everyone reacts to stress differently and needs different things to calm them down. What works for you may not work for your spouse, your child, or your friends. This blog will hopefully give you some practical, easy ways to help you and the ones you care about handle stress more effectively and quickly.

This post is incredibly long, so by all means just scroll down to the type that you want to find out about! I'd like to go into more detail about how each type handles stress in the future, but for now this is a great way to get an overview and pinpoint some solutions to reducing your stress and helping out others in your life.

Not sure what your personality type is? Take the most accurate online personality indicator here.

When overwhelmed by stress, ESTJ's often feel isolated from others. They feel as if they are misunderstood and undervalued, and that their efforts are taken for granted. When under stress, they have a hard time putting their feelings into words and communicating them to others. If they are under frequent, chronic stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function; introverted feeling. When this happens, they can develop a "martyr complex". The ESTJ will be uncharacteristically emotional, withdraw from others, become hypersensitive about their relationships, and misinterpret tiny, insignificant details into personal attacks. Physically, they may feel tension headaches, and neck or shoulder aches from tension in their body.

When faced with stress overload, ISTJs may fall into "catastrophe mode", where they see nothing but all the potential of what could go wrong. They may beat themselves up; berating themselves for things which could have been done differently, or duties which they failed to perform. They will lose their ability to see things calmly and reasonably, and can become depressed at what they see as a bleak future. Under chronic stress, the ISTJ may fall into the grip of their inferior function, extroverted intuition, and become a "dramatizer". They may become intensely angry, rigid in what they're doing, outwardly critical, pessimistic, and embrace an overwhelming fear of the future.

When faced with stress, ISFJs become discouraged and depressed. They start to imagine all the things that could go wrong, and they may feel a strong sense of inadequacy. They may feel that everything is all wrong, or that they can't do anything right. If they are in a state of chronic stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function, extraverted intuition. When this happens they may start acting completely out of character. They may be at odds with normally relied upon facts and details, they may see everything as awful and feel "doomed". They may become withdrawn, angry, irritable, and pessimistic. They will probably feel emotionally overwhelmed and find themselves worrying about all kinds of horrible possibilities.

How to help an ISFJ experiencing stress:
- Give them space or time alone to work through their feelings. Provide provable affirmations about ways they've overcome situations like this in the past.
- Help them break down problems into manageable pieces
- Don't give generalized compliments. Make compliments specific.
- Put a problem or task in sequential order.
- Don't brainstorm. When they are in the grip of extraverted intuition, this will only make things worse.
- Let them engage their auxiliary extraverted feeling by reading materials that are personally moving, or spiritual.
- Encourage them to get some physical exercise (without making it sound like an insult).
- Let them talk about their irrational fears or feelings, and give them quiet, calm reassurance.
- Take them seriously. Don't patronize or judge them.

When faced with stress, ESFJ's can become very critical and overly sensitive, often imagining bad intentions where there weren't any. Being prone to insecurity, they can focus all their attention on pleasing those who give them security. This may lead them to become staunchly attached to a toxic relationship, structure, or belief system that provides them some sort of affirmation or security. They can become quite dramatic when under stress, finding fault with almost everyone and everything. They can experience low energy, a feeling of depression and pessimism. They become uncharacteristically quiet and withdrawn. If they are under chronic stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function; introverted thinking. This can cause them to take on the form of "the condemner", focusing on everyone's flaws and all the ways they have been hurt by them and how those flaws go against their belief system and how things "should be".

ESTP - The Promoter

When faced with stress, ESTPs tend to feel empty or hollow inside. Their first impulse may be to seek revenge for whatever has caused them stress. They may do this by mocking other people's values, or becoming increasingly anti-social and disdainful of others. If they are in a state of chronic stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function, introverted intuition, and become a "dramatizer". When this happens, they may do things that are completely out of character for them. They may lose their naturally easy going, agreeable character and begin to have fearful fantasies of the future, ideas of impending doom swirling in their minds. They may begin to assign big meaning to small occurrences, and become preoccupied with the meaning of life and the future of mankind and the universe in a way that is usually filled with gloom and disillusionment.

How to help an ESTP that is experiencing stress:
- Give them space initially or directly after the event.
- Listen to them. Understand that they will likely be irrational.
- Don't tell them how to fix it. This will only make them feel more helpless.
- Give gentle affirmations or encouragement
- Help them sort out their priorities, paying careful attention to their feelings.

When ISTPs experience an overload of stress, they may try to respond by lashing out against whatever is causing it. They may violate rules and regulations that they feel are controlling them; they may feel a need to "get even". They may become emotionally obsessed with logic and proving a point, while losing track of organization and losing objects or misplacing them. In cases of chronic stress, ISTPs may fall into the grip of their inferior function, extraverted feeling, and become very emotive. They will become hypersensitive about their relationships with others and misinterpret small, insignificant details into the belief that others dislike or hate them. They may become uncharacteristically emotional and/or bitter towards others.

How to help an ISTP experiencing stress:
- Give them alone time and space.
- Excuse them from some of their responsibilities.
- Let them "get away" from everything.
- Don't ask how they feel.
- Encourage them to exercise.
- Let them read a mystery novel or do something that engages light problem solving.
- Forgive their out-of-character behavior.

When under stress, ISFPs can often become passive aggressive, restless, and defiant. If stress continues to build, ISFPs may become self-destructive and careless of their own well-being in an effort to restore excitement or affirmation in their life. If an ISFP is in a state of chronic stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function, extraverted thinking, and become "the criticizer". They may be harsh and critical of others, obsessing over their mistakes, and others incompetence. They may have an intense urge to fix perceived problems or right wrongs, but this can often worsen the situation.

How to help an ISFP experiencing stress:
- Give them some time alone to process their feelings and thoughts
- Validate their feelings, and listen to them. Female ISFPs are often ready to talk sooner about their feelings than male ISFPs
- Remind them of their strengths.
- Don't give them advice. It won't help when they're stressed.
- Don't try to reason with them or be logical. Just be patient, calm, and affirming.
- Only after they've calmed down from the stress ask if they'd like any help with solutions.

When ESFPs experience stress, they may become passively resistant initially. They might become bored and feel empty and listless. They may try to retaliate against the people who are causing them stress by annoying them or trying to irritate them. When overwhelmed with stress, they may become self-destructive, regressing emotionally, and acting in an immature fashion. In the case of chronic stress, ESFPs may fall into the grip of their inferior function; introverted intuition. When this happens, the ESFP can become highly exaggerative, dramatically foretelling the doom that the future will hold. They may see hidden meanings and visions of despair for the future, and struggle with misinterpreting things people say. This is highly uncharacteristic for an ESFP, since they are usually very optimistic and friendly people who want to maintain harmony.

How to help an ESFP experiencing stress:
- Listen thoughtfully and patiently
- Give them space initially to sort out their feelings, but be ready to talk to them as ESFPs are often helped by talking things through.
- Understand that they will be irrational. Be patient with this.
- Don't tell them how to fix it. This makes them feel more helpless.
- Encourage them to exercise or spend some time outdoors.
- Tell them what they are doing well.

INFP - The Healer

When under stress, an INFP gets lost in internal turmoil. They feel caught between pleasing others and maintaining their own integrity and taking care of their well-being. Their natural tendency to identify with others, compounded with their self-sacrificial tendencies, leaves them confused about who they really are. They feel lost and perplexed during stressful times; and as stress builds they can fall into the grip of their inferior function, extraverted thinking. When this happens, they will do things that are typically out of character. They may become obsessed with fixing perceived problems, and righting wrongs. They may blurt out hostile thoughts or engage in destructive fantasies directed at just about anyone available. They also may have biting sarcasm and cynicism. They may become aggressively critical to others and themselves, dwelling on all the "facts" necessary to support their overwhelming sense of failure.

What stresses out an ENFP:
- Environments where rules are rigidly enforced
- Focusing on repetitive, detailed tasks
- Having to focus too much on sensory details
- Having to focus too much on the past or present
- Not being able to use their intuition
- Constraints on brainstorming or envisioning
- A lack of outside stimulation
- Being micromanaged
- Having creativity stifled
- Having to complete projects before they're ready
- Criticism
- Lack of appreciation
- Having their values violated
- Overextending themselves for others

ENFPs tend to overextend themselves, and procrastinate, which is often a source of stress as it complicates their lives. When they become stressed, their naturally charming natures become more irritable and over-sensitive. When stressed, ENFPs feel alienated and engage in deceptions to obscure what is occurring within themselves. They will feel that they are losing control over their own independent identities and feel conflicted by intruding circumstances. During continued stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function, introverted sensing. When this happens, they become obsessive and depressed. They will become hyper-aware of minor bodily sensations or abnormalities and interpret them as a sign of a serious illness. They may have a hard time communicating clearly, and feel numb and frozen inside. Their thinking may become cloudy and convoluted. They will feel that there are no possibilities or ways out. They may feel overwhelmed, out of control, unable to sort out priorities, and thus become inflexible. Some become obsessive about record keeping, cleaning, or other household tasks.

How to help an ENFP with stress:
- Give them space and time alone to sort out their feelings.
- Remind them that they are able and competent.
- Give them permission to "escape"
- Don't give them advice. It won't help right now.
- Don't ask for details.
- Don't try to "fix" the problem.
- Meditation often helps ENFPs
- Listen to them.
- Encourage them to exercise
- Encourage them to get enough sleep
- Encourage them to get a massage
- Be warm and kind in the way you speak to them
- After they've calmed down a little, ask them if they want help evaluating the situation.

What stresses out an INFJ:
- Having to focus too much on sensory/concrete details
- An overload of sensory stimulation or noise
- Interruptions
- Distress within a close relationship
- Having their values violated
- Not enough alone time. Too much extraverting.
- Working with closed-minded people
- Lack of appreciation or understanding
- Unfamiliar environments with overwhelming amounts of details
- Having plans disrupted
- Not having a clear direction
- Lack of harmony
- Criticism and conflict
- Not being able to use their intuition or envision the future
- Having to focus too much on the present

When under stress, the INFJ feels fragmented or lost. They feel like they can't be themselves, and feel an urge to act a part to "survive" or fit in. This disassociation can cause physical symptoms for the INFJ, like headaches, IBS, or nausea. The repressed feelings they're holding onto can cause them to become immobilized. If they are under chronic extreme stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function, extraverted sensing. When this happens, they may engage in indulgent, self-destructive habits like binge-eating, watching too much television, over-exercising, or drinking too much. This often feels like an out-of-body experience to them. What they do provides no pleasure, but feels somewhat robotic and out of control. After this occurs, they dwell in self-hatred, falling even more into guilt over what they've done. They may become uncharacteristically angry and quick-tempered, unreasonable, and irrational. They may become obsessed with details in their outer world; obsessively cleaning or doing housework. They stumble over their words, and their intense feelings may eventually lead them to a state of complete exhaustion.
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When an ENFJ experiences stress, they often disassociate themselves from the situation in an effort to protect their sense of well-being and togetherness. They may repress the unpleasant side of life for so long, that it gradually intensifies until the ENFJ explodes with emotion and/or charged anger. Often the ENFJ's body will reflect pent-up stress by manifesting various physical symptoms, like headaches, shoulder tension or an upset stomach. In the case of chronic stress, the ENFJ may fall into the grip of their inferior function, introverted thinking. When this happens, the ENFJ may uncharacteristically lash out at others, obsess over their mistakes, lack of competence and flaws. Eventually, these criticisms will turn inward and the ENFJ will withdraw from others to self-criticize. He or she may become obsessive about analyzing irrelevant data to find some ultimate truth or reason for their stress.

When in a state of stress, the INTJ can feel an immense amount of pressure - as if everything is on the line. To an INTJ, this often means the ability to produce something significant is somehow stifled. They may find themselves overwhelmed, and thinking about ideas and options that don't have a productive end. As stress increases, the INTJ can become argumentative and disagreeable. Social interaction becomes increasingly difficult; and they may become preoccupied with obsessive ideas and plans. They may start to spend a massive amount of time fighting horrible thoughts, and feelings of worthlessness. They will ruminate about their mistakes, inadequacies and weaknesses, and stop progress on a project for fear of failure. In a case of chronic stress, the INTJ may fall into the grip of their inferior function; extraverted sensing. When this happens, they may give into self-destructive indulgences, like over-eating, over-exercising, alcoholism, or buying lots of useless items. They may obsessively clean or re-organize files.

What stresses out an ENTJ:
- Being in an environment that lacks vision or ideas for the future.
- Being in an environment where others don't appreciate their vision.
- Being interrupted.
- Being surrounded by (or guilty of) incompetence.
- Poorly managed change.
- Laziness.
- Having to be a follower instead of a leader.
- Not being able to make their goals come to fruition.
- Having to deal with intense emotions from others.
- Feeling guilt over being critical towards others.
- Not having their strongly held values validated or respected.
- Small talk or frivolous conversations.

When experiencing stress, ENTJs may at first become argumentative and combative with anyone who is causing it. They may feel that they are losing control, and feel an urgent need to complete a task. If the stress continues, they become distracted by the urgency and need to get something done. They may engage in compulsive, misdirected activities like cleaning, counting, or inspecting. They will feel a growing sense of failure, and a rising sense of anger and frustration. If they are in a state of chronic stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function, introverted feeling. When this happens they may become uncharacteristically emotional and furious and withdraw from others to prevent anyone seeing their lack of emotional stability. They may become hypersensitive about their relationships, misinterpreting tiny, insignificant details and believing that others hate or dislike them.

How to help an ENTJ experiencing stress:
- Give them some space and time alone to sort out their feelings.
- Listen and let them talk it out when they're ready.
- Discuss information or ideas that could lead to solutions.
- Don't be overly sympathetic or emotional.
- Give them a change of scenery by getting outdoors with them.
- Encourage them to vent their frustration without fear of judgment.
- Remind them that they are OK, and it is perfectly fine to feel the way they do and that you won't judge them.

When an INTP begins to experience stress, they often feel highly self-critical and powerless. If stress continues, the INTP feels as if their mind is blocked and they can't access all the vital information they've stored there. Their creativity comes to a halt and they may suffer from stage fright, writer's block, and a general inhibition of their usual ingenious thinking. The INTP may become self-conscious and distracted in anticipation of failure. If they become too overwhelmed with stress, they may stop taking any risks and fail to gain the expertise and mastery they need. In the case of chronic stress, the INTP may fall into the grip of their inferior function, extroverted feeling. This may cause them to have uncharacteristic emotional outbursts, and become edgy, illogical, inefficient and obsessed with details.

How to help an INTP experiencing stress:
- Give them alone time and space
- Excuse them from some of their responsibilities
- Let them get away from everything
- Don't ask them how they feel or if they're okay
- Encourage them to have some alone time exercising
- Let them know it's okay to feel unreasonable sometimes
- Stay out of the way and forgive out-of-characteristic behavior

When an ENTP is experiencing stress, they become distracted and overwhelmed, losing their signature "can do" attitude. They may feel incompetent, inept, and inadequate. They can become overwhelmed with fear, panic, and anxiety and will feel a need to escape whatever situation is plaguing them. Their creativity will be stifled, and if the stress isn't handled they will fall into the grip of their inferior function, introverted sensing. When they fall into the grip of their inferior function, they will become uncharacteristically quiet and reserved. They will feel depressed and stew on ways they have failed. They may notice minor bodily changes and become convinced that they are suffering from some life-threatening disease. They often become hypochondriacs, imagining all kinds of ailments that are befalling them physically.

Sources (Some of these links are affiliate links):
Please Understand Me II: Temperament, Character, Intelligence
Was That Really Me?: How Everyday Stress Brings Out Our Hidden Personality
MBTI® Type and Stress Webinar by CPP, Inc.
Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type

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The ISFJ Personality Profile - An In-Depth Look At "The Nurturer" - Psychology Junkie

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ISTP Personality Profile - An In-Depth Look at "The Mechanic" - Psychology Junkie

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How Each Myers-Briggs® Type Reacts to Stress (and How to Help!) - Psychology Junkie

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Have you ever become so stressed out that you feel out of control? Do you feel like you're acting in a way that is completely unlike you? Have you ever tried to help a loved one who is stressed out, and everything you've said or done has only made things worse?

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Personality test based on Jung and Briggs Myers typology

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Online test based on Jung and Briggs Myers typology provides your personality formula, the description of your type, list of occupations, and option to assess your compatibility against any soulmate