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Films and factsheets for parents.

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Trauma in children may be:

A one-off experience, such as a car crash

Living in an atmosphere that feels unsafe, or where they are witness to violence

Experiencing, or witnessing, harm

Experiences of war, or of becoming a refugee

Stressful and challenging experiences are a part of life, and most children will experience these at some point. This becomes traumatic if the event is more than a child can make sense of, or cope with.

To learn more about Trauma in Children, please refer to our informational and real-life experiences videos.

Nip in the Bud is very grateful to the UK Trauma Council for permitting us to show on our website their series of four excellent animation films.

Watch our Films

Further information:

What is traumatic for one child, may not be traumatic for another. It depends on how the child feels as a result of what has happened. If your child has experienced Trauma, they will be feeling very distressed, and this may show up as nightmares, physical aches and pains, or vomiting. Or they may suddenly need help to do things they could previously do such as the ability to feed or go to the toilet by themselves. They may also experience flashbacks to the traumatic event.

These reactions, which are a natural response to Trauma, may lessen over the following weeks. If they don't, then your child will need support to give them the best chance of recovery.

It is important to talk to your child about their feelings. Let them know that they are not alone and that it is safe for them to feel and to express whatever they are going through. Normalising their feelings will help to lessen their anxiety and help them to process their experiences.

Trauma that is not dealt with may have a lasting impact on a child, or young person's, development and personality. It isn't easy to see your child in distress, and you may want to reach out for support yourself.

If you are concerned about your child, please consult a GP for help and support and speak to the child's school.

Read and download the Trauma and Children factsheet written by Dr David Trickey.

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Trauma Videos for Parents and Carers | Nip in the Bud

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Trauma in children may be: A one-off experience, such as a car crash Living in an atmosphere that feels unsafe, or where they are witness to violence Experiencing, or witnessing, harm Experiences of war, or of becoming a refugee Stressful and challenging experiences are a part of life, and most children will experience these at some point.

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Films and factsheets for parents.

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The short films and accompanying fact sheets below have been prepared to help parents and children who may have a diagnosis, may be showing symptoms of a potential mental health condition or may be struggling as a result of the Covid 19 pandemic.

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Films for Parents / Carers | Nip in the Bud

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The short films and accompanying fact sheets below have been prepared to help parents and children who may have a diagnosis, may be showing symptoms of a potential mental health condition or may be struggling as a result of the Covid 19 pandemic.

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Films and factsheets for parents.

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Emotional Wellbeing Videos for Parents and Carers | Nip in the Bud

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Films and factsheets for parents.

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Autism spectrum condition (ASC) is a neurodevelopmental condition which affects the way children process information. ASC is not an illness; it is a spectrum condition that affects every child differently.

To learn more about Autism in children, watch our films below or read our factsheet.

Watch our Films

Dan & Charlie: 5 years on, life on the Autism Spectrum

Dad and son, Dan and Charlie share how their experience of living with Autism has changed in the five years since we last spoke in this Real life experience film.

Rachel - Life as a SENCO

In this 13-minute interview Rachel, the SENCO explains that Parents are often the first to notice if their child might be struggling. This might come to light when they're watching their child in playgroups. A nursery teacher can pick things up too. She highlights the importance of the check that is done by a health visitor when the child is two years old.

Fathers on Caring

Are you a dad getting to grips with parenting a child with additional needs?

Here, we talk to three dads who have an active and engaged role in looking after their child with additional needs. In this film, Damien, Anil and Usman open up about the challenges they have faced, the reality of the day-to-day, things they have learned along the way and where they have turned to look for support.

Never lose Hope - Fathers of children with Autism

Damien - Autism, expectations and Adapting

Autism Spectrum Condition in Children Information Film

This film explains how to recognise and help a child who shows the symptoms of Autism Spectrum Condition. (ASC)

The film focuses on children who may be very able and whose condition may not be readily apparent, especially girls, as they are particularly good at 'masking' symptoms. The film also highlights how people with Autism Spectrum Condition can also develop mental health conditions.

Autism and Co-existing Conditions in Children

Autism Spectrum Condition (ASC) is not a mental health disorder. It's a developmental condition and neurodiversity which affects how people see the world and how they communicate and interact. Autistic people will often, but certainly not always, experience some mental health challenges.

It is estimated that around 70% of people with autism have one mental health condition (such as anxiety, ADHD, depression or OCD) and around 40% of the 70% will have more than one. Some of these mental health conditions begin in childhood and are sometimes referred to as co-occurring or co-existing conditions.

Early intervention can be extremely effective at limiting the effects of these co-existing mental health conditions. Watch our film which features an interview with Professor Emily Simonoff, Professor of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at King's College London, to find out more about autism and co-existing mental health conditions.

Raising a child with autism: Carrie and David

Carrie and David describe how their happy child began to feel excluded and different when she started school. The outside world is so structured towards the neurotypical that it was causing a lot of damage to Tylan who is not neurotypical because of their autism.

It is a misnomer that autistic children are not sociable. They want to be able to have all kinds of friends. But if they are excluded and don't fit in anywhere, this leads to feelings of isolation, sadness and depression.

Tylan finally came into her own when they became an actor playing an autistic character for Hollyoaks. The company and other cast members were determined to understand Tylan. They constantly change the environment around them and make adjustments to suit Tylan's needs. As a result, Tylan has flourished.

Growing up with Autism: Tylan

Tylan felt alienated at school, thinking everything they did was wrong. Having a diagnosis of autism helped them but they developed anxiety, felt overwhelmed, had sensory overload and preferred to be alone rather than with people who didn't understand them. Tylan then developed clinical depression which didn't allow them to see how things could get better or how they could succeed in life.

Tylan's job at Hollyoaks, where many adjustments were made to suit their needs, allowed them to flourish.

Further information:

ASC affects the way a child or young person communicates, behaves, and interacts with others. The earliest signs of autism are reflected in the way your child starts to communicate and develop language skills. There may be a delay in the development of speech, or the child may never learn to speak.

On the other end, a child may be far ahead of their peers in terms of language development but may not be aware of the volume they speak at and may mimic phrases and accents they hear on tv. Your child may struggle to read other people's body language and it may be hard for them to express their emotions to you or others.

Although you as a parent may have taken the necessary steps to understand your child and their behaviours and triggers, this doesn't always translate to other people who interact with your child. It is important your child is in a school environment which can help them grow and make them feel safe - be aware of how your child is treated by their teachers and the school as a whole and determine whether that is the right environment for them. As a parent, you are the anchor for your child in a world that is mostly catered to neurotypical individuals.

It is a common misconception that mostly boys are on the autism spectrum - many girls experience it too but are much better at masking their autism. Due to the difficulty in obtaining a diagnosis for girls, they struggle in school and at home and are unaware of their triggers and sensitivities. A diagnosis provides a way for children to recognise what helps them, what doesn't, and what they struggle with - which will help them thrive in the future.

Seek out a diagnosis if your child is delayed in meeting developmental milestones, seems socially withdrawn, resists different tastes and textures, or engages in challenging behaviour. The first step to getting a diagnosis would be to talk to your GP who will be able to refer you to the relevant health care professional.

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Autism Videos for Parents and Carers | Nip in the Bud

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Autism spectrum condition (ASC) is a neurodevelopmental condition which affects the way children process information. ASC is not an illness; it is a spectrum condition that affects every child differently. To learn more about Autism in children, watch our films below or read our factsheet.

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Films and factsheets for parents.

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Caring for children with ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, can be challenging. There are lots of resources out there for parents of children with ADHD to get support and understand more about their condition - this can make it easier to cope with a young person's neurodiversity.

To learn more about ADHD in children, watch our films below or read our factsheet.

Watch our Films

Living with ADHD - Debbie's Story

In this very personal 4-minute video, Debbie talks about the challenges she faced getting a diagnosis, and shares her experience of living with ADHD. Debbie belongs to ADHD Babes, a support group for Black women and Black non-binary people of African-Caribbean descent with ADHD.

ADHD in Children

A child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can experience problems with overactivity, impulsivity and risk taking. It can mean a child is disruptive, which can make a real difference to their progress in school and impact on their relationships with their peers, friends, family and teachers. This film explains how to identify and help a child showing the symptoms of ADHD.

How to Recognise ADHD Symptoms in Children

Raising a Child with ODD and ADHD

ODD stands for Oppositional Defiant Disorder. It is a conduct disorder. Children with ODD frequently have severe temper tantrums, do things that annoy people, argue, defy adults' requests, seem angry and spiteful and blame others for their own misbehaviour.

Find out more about Conduct Disorders in Children, read and download our Fact sheet, or watch more real life experience films.

Celina's daughter has ADHD. But Celina describes how the ADHD feeds Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and it is the ODD that affects her daughter the most. ODD is the most common Conduct Disorder in children 10 years and under.

Further information:

ADHD can mean that normal routines, rules and activities cannot be approached in a traditional way. Just trying to understand your child will help you to tailor different approaches to see what works for them.

Children with ADHD often struggle with difficulty keeping attention, levels of activity and impulse control. These difficulties are present before the age of seven years and can affect many areas of the child's and family's life. Signs of ADHD in girls are also different - and less widely known - than those in boys, leading to many girls and women to go through life undiagnosed.

It may also be useful to speak to your child's school about putting plans in place and educating them to the best of your ability about ADHD and how this may affect your child's learning.

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ADHD Videos for Parents and Carers | Nip in the Bud

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Caring for children with ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, can be challenging. There are lots of resources out there for parents of children with ADHD to get support and understand more about their condition - this can make it easier to cope with a young person's neurodiversity.

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Films and factsheets for parents.

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Self-Harm Videos for Parents and Carers | Nip in the Bud

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Self-harm in children happens when they experience an overwhelming core pain that they are not able to handle. As a parent, it is important to understand it is not the child’s fault they are reacting this way and they are not doing it on purpose – they simply do not know how to handle the overwhelming feelings they are experiencing. To learn more about self-harm in children, watch our films below or read our factsheet.

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Films and factsheets for parents.

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As a parent, it can be difficult to recognise whether your child is developing a serious eating disorder - fussy eating is a common part of the development of children. However, there are signs to look out for which will help you determine whether your child needs help, or whether they're simply trying to establish their likes and dislikes in food.

To learn more, watch our films on Anorexia and Bulimia in children below or read our factsheet.

Understanding Eating Disorders

Around 1.25 million people in the UK suffer from eating disorders. These disorders can cause serious harm, both physically and emotionally, and they have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. Early diagnosis, intervention and treatment is critical. To learn details on the different kinds of Eating Disorders, watch this 8-minute film and read the fact sheet.

You can also watch our Real Life Experience 6-minute film Boys Get Anorexia or visit our Eating Disorders page to watch our film on Bulimia.

Bulimia in Young People: Susannah's story

Aged 10 Susannah became worried about her body image leading to dieting, weight loss, self-harm and bulimia. In this 9-minute film she relates her experience with eating disorders. She began to realise that others had similar experiences and how sharing stories helps recovery.

Read and download our fact sheets, watch more videos or sign up for our mailing list and free interactive guide.

Boys get Anorexia too

Eating disorders are more commonly associated with girls. Boys who develop these problems are often misdiagnosed. In this 6-minute film, Jenny Langley, author of 'Boys Get Anorexia Too' talks about her experience when her son developed an eating disorder.

Further information:

Food can be a way for children and young people to explore their environment and first discover their likes and dislikes, establishing their independence from their caregivers. However, an unhealthy relationship with food can be very dangerous for your child and their development.

It is a common misconception that the changing of weight, either gaining or losing, is the main indication of a child having an eating disorder - it is actually quite a late sign in the development of the mental illness. Early signs of eating disorders are low self-esteem, a child or young person avoiding looking at themselves in the mirror, wearing clothes that cover up most of their body, frequent mood swings, and irregular eating habits or being evasive when discussing food.

If you find stashes of food in your child's room, or if large amounts of food are missing suddenly without you realising, it could mean that your child is being secretive about their eating habits, which is a strong indication of an eating disorder to look out for. Another sign is if your child often says they're not hungry or they'll eat later or if they're adamant about eating alone in their room. If you are noticing these signs in your child, it is wise to visit your GP and ask about who to refer your child to, as well as asking about support groups for parents caring for someone with an eating disorder.

As a parent, it is important not to overlook the potential of boys developing an eating disorder, as it is commonly believed that the mental illness primarily develops in young teenage girls. It is crucial you are aware of this as a parent and look out for the signs including exercising obsessively, as people believe it is so rare that even health care professionals may not recognise the potential of an eating disorder in young boys.

Eating disorders are treatable and a full recovery is possible. However, an eating disorder may cause permanent damage to the body if it continues over a prolonged period of time.

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Eating Disorders Videos for Parents and Carers | Nip in the Bud

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As a parent, it can be difficult to recognise whether your child is developing a serious eating disorder - fussy eating is a common part of the development of children. However, there are signs to look out for which will help you determine whether your child needs help, or whether they're simply trying to establish their likes and dislikes in food.

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Films and factsheets for parents.

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Depression Videos for Parents and Carers | Nip in the Bud

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Children with depression will experience an uncharacteristic low mood, irritability, and lack of enthusiasm for life for at least two to four weeks. These emotions often continue to worsen and last for a long time. Depression in children and young people should be taken seriously, as it can lead to life-threatening outcomes such as self-harm and even suicide. To learn more, watch our films on depression in children or read our factsheet.

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Films and factsheets for parents.

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Children can experience anxiety at any time and at any age. Many of these worries tend to be a normal part of growing up. However, it's important to detect when these worries start to affect their wellbeing.

To learn more about anxiety in children, watch our films below or read our factsheet.

Managing Anxiety around School

Do your children sometimes feel anxious about going back to school especially after longer holidays like Christmas, Easter and the Summer. L isten to this under 5 minute video in which Dr Jess Richardson, Senior Clinical Psychologist, shares helpful tips for Parents. Find out more by reading our Managing Anxieties Around School Fact Sheet.

Anxiety in Children Information Film

It is normal for young children to have worries but if these worries become intense and begin to impact on their daily lives, it may be that they have an anxiety disorder.

This film explains more about the different kinds of anxiety disorders, how to recognise them and how to help a child who has one.

Anxiety and Me : Real Life Child Mental Health Experiences

Please note - some images and content may be upsetting or disturbing. This film is not intended to be watched by children.
This short film features real life accounts of Anxiety experienced by young people. Through their words we see the importance of early intervention by parents and teachers.

Nip in the Bud strongly believes that early intervention and support for children ensures far better outcomes.

How to Recognise Symptoms of Anxiety in Children

Further information:

Anxiety can become a problem for children and young people when it starts to get in the way of their everyday life. Severe anxiety can affect their mental and emotional wellbeing, sometimes making them withdrawn from situations.

There are a few symptoms that you can look for if you suspect your child may be suffering from anxiety, including finding it difficult to concentrate, difficulties sleeping, not eating properly and constantly worrying.

There are different types of anxiety that can occur in childhood, ranging from separation anxiety to panic attacks. Some have symptoms which are easier to spot, while others can be more difficult to detect.

If your child is suffering from anxiety, it's important that you keep their school involved and well informed so they can put measures in place should your child require any further support in the classroom.

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Anxiety Videos for Parents and Carers | Nip in the Bud

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Children can experience anxiety at any time and at any age. Many of these worries tend to be a normal part of growing up. However, it's important to detect when these worries start to affect their wellbeing. To learn more about anxiety in children, watch our films below or read our factsheet.

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Emotion regulation is the ability to manage our emotions and this guide has a range of practical strategies to be used at home.

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Information, resources and signposting

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Information, resources and signposting

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Information, Resources and Signposting

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Information, Resources and Signposting

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The Calm Harm app provides some immediate activities and techniques to help you break the cycle of self-harm behaviour and explore underlying trigger factors; the app supports you in building a ‘safety net’ of helpful thoughts, behaviours, and access to supportive people, as well as providing the opportunity to journal and self-reflect. The Calm Harm app also signposts to help.

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Calm Harm is an award-winning app funded by teenage mental health charity stem4, to help manage the urge to self-harm. It was developed by Clinical Psychologist Dr. Nihara Krause MBE, in collaboration with young people and uses principles from an evidence-based psychological treatment called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT).

The urge to self-harm is like a wave. It feels the most powerful when you start wanting to do it.

Learn to ride the wave with the Calm Harm app by choosing activities from these categories:
, , Express Yourself , , and .

There is also a breathing exercise to help you be mindful and stay in the moment, regulate difficult emotions, and reduce tension.

When you ride the wave, the urge to self-harm will fade.

The Calm Harm app provides some immediate activities and techniques to help you break the cycle of self-harm behaviour and explore underlying trigger factors; the app supports you in building a 'safety net' of helpful thoughts, behaviours, and access to supportive people, as well as providing the opportunity to journal and self-reflect. The Calm Harm app also signposts to help.

The app is private, anonymous, and safe.

Please note that the Calm Harm app is not a substitute for the assessment and individualised treatment by a health or mental health professional.

Our app is for young people over the age of 13.

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Calm Harm is a free app to help teenagers manage the urge to self-harm. Available on Google Play & App Store.

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If your child's experiences around gender identity are affecting their mental health, we've got information and advice on what you can do and where you can get help.

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Gender Identity & Mental Health | Guide For Parents

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If your child is transgender or struggling with their gender identity, read our information and advice on supporting them and on where you can get help.

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If your child seems confused about their gender, it's usual for parents to also feel puzzled or worried. But there is help available to support you and your child.

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Think your child might be trans or non-binary?

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Find out what help is available if your child seems confused about their gender and support for you as their parent.

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Understanding and Supporting My Child's ADHD

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Understanding and Supporting My Child's ADHD

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An information and resource booklet for parents and carers of

children and young people with ADHD.

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It is really important to take issues about eating and eating disorders seriously. Parents play an important part in the recovery process both directly and indirectly.

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Eating disorders - for parents/carers - stem4

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Eating disorders For parents/carers This section is first and foremost for parents who may be worried that their teenager may be developing or currently has an eating disorder. It is also for parents whose teenager has a friend who has an eating disorder.

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A guide to the emotional regulation strategies used as part of Zones of Regulation.

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Supporting Norwich and Dereham Young Carers and their families for over 29 years!

Connects & Co. values and cherishes children and young people who live with the effects of terminal or long-term illness,  disability, mental health issues and addiction within their family.

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Connects & Co - Support for young carers and siblings

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Welcome to Connects & Co - Connects & Co

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SUPPORTING NORWICH & DEREHAM YOUNG CARERS AND THEIR FAMILIES. Connects & Co. values and cherishes children and young people who live with the effects of terminal or long-term illness, disability, mental health issues and Addiction within their family.

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Please take some time to explore the site and learn about Selective Mutism (often referred to as ‘SM’), which can have a distressing effect not only on those with the condition but also on their families.

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Selective Mutism Information & Research Association (SMIRA)

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Selective Mutism (SM) is a communication anxiety disorder. This site contains information on and support for parents, people with SM, and professionals.

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Behaviour and Emotions: Action for Children

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Behaviour and Emotions: Action for Children

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Understanding emotions and behaviour.

Tantrums, anxious feelings, eating habits and more.

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Support for Parents from Action For Children

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Understanding emotions and behaviour - Support for Parents from Action For Children

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Tantrums, anxious feelings, eating habits and more

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Separation Anxiety: Action for Children 

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Separation Anxiety: Action for Children 

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Separation anxiety is when someone feels upset or fearful about being away from another person. This can sometimes happen if your child has been spending a lot of time with you. They may find it difficult to leave you, or become upset or clingy.

Some children will find it takes some time to adapt to changes to their routine, like starting nursery or school. Or there may be other changes in their life where they need some extra support.

It’s quite common for children to feel this way, and you can help them understand.

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Support for Parents from Action For Children

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How can I help my child with separation anxiety? - Support for Parents from Action For Children

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If your child finds it difficult to leave you or be with others, this is sometimes called separation anxiety. It's quite common, and you can help them adjust.

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Understanding behaviour and emotions, talking about feelings, safety and wellbeing, rules and rewards, wellbeing activities.

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Support for Parents from Action For Children

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Feelings and behaviour - Support for Parents from Action For Children

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Understanding behaviour and emotions, talking about feelings, safety and wellbeing, rules and rewards, wellbeing activities

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Attachment Issues in Children: Causes, Symptoms, Treatment

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Attachment Issues in Children: Causes, Symptoms, Treatment

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Attachment problems can affect your child’s development, relationships, and overall well-being. But as a parent, there are ways to overcome insecure attachment and set your child up for success.

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What are attachment issues?

Attachment issues develop in young children when the attachment bond-the emotional relationship that develops between an infant and their primary caretaker-is disrupted or not developed securely.

Since the quality of the attachment bond profoundly impacts your child's development, experiencing attachment issues can affect their ability to express emotions, build resilience, trust, and confidence, and enjoy healthy relationships. Some studies show that insecure attachment can even contribute to behavioral problems, such as bullying.

No matter how detached or insecure your child seems, or how frustrated or exhausted you feel from trying to connect with them, it is possible to repair an attachment issue. With the right tools-and a healthy dose of patience and love-you can bond with your child, shape their development, and help them build healthy, meaningful, and loving relationships.
[Read: What is Secure Attachment and Bonding?]
Attachment issues vs. attachment disorders

Children with attachment problems tend to fall on a spectrum, ranging from mild issues to attachment disorders. While mild attachment issues are usually easily addressed, in cases of severe attachment issues, your child may be diagnosed with one of two distinct attachment disorders:

Reactive attachment disorder (RAD). A child with RAD rarely seeks comfort when distressed and often feels unsafe and alone. They may be extremely withdrawn, emotionally detached, and resistant to comforting. They may push you away, ignore you, or even act out aggressively when you try to get close. Read: Reactive attachment disorder (RAD). Read: Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).

Disinhibited social engagement disorder (DSED). With DSED, a child doesn't seem to prefer their parents over other people, even strangers. They'll seek comfort and attention from virtually anyone, and won't exhibit any distress when a parent isn't present. While they are overly familiar with strangers, children with DSED often have trouble forming meaningful connections with others. Read: Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder (DSED)

Both types of attachment disorder are more common in young children who have been traumatized, abused, spent time in foster care or orphanages, or separated from their primary caregiver after establishing a bond, such as an extended stay in hospital. These children may have difficulty relating to others and can be developmentally delayed.

Causes of attachment issues

About 35 percent of infants have some form of insecure attachment. Attachment difficulties occur when a child has been unable to consistently connect with a parent or primary caregiver.

If a young child repeatedly feels abandoned, isolated, powerless, or uncared for-whatever the reason-they will learn that they can't depend on others and that the world is a dangerous and frightening place.

This can happen for many reasons:

A baby cries and no one responds or offers comfort.

A baby is hungry or wet, and they aren't attended to for hours.

No one looks at, talks to, or smiles at the baby, so the baby feels alone.

A young child gets attention only by acting out or displaying other extreme behaviors.

An infant or young child is mistreated, traumatized, or abused.

Sometimes a child's needs are met, and sometimes they aren't. The child never knows what to expect.

An infant or young child is hospitalized or separated from their parents.

A baby or youngster is moved from one caregiver to another (the result of adoption, foster care, or the loss of a parent, for example).

The parent is emotionally unavailable because of depression, illness, or substance abuse.

Sometimes the circumstances that cause attachment problems are unavoidable, but the child is too young to understand what has happened and why. To a young child, it just feels as if no one cares. They may lose trust in others, and see the world as an unsafe place.

Development of insecure attachment styles

According to attachment theory, different circumstances can lead to different types of insecure attachment styles:

If a parent is sometimes responsive to the child but unavailable at other times, the child might develop an ambivalent (or anxious-preoccupied) attachment style. Children with this attachment style may have low confidence and feel highly distressed when separated from their caregiver. Later in life, they might struggle with anxiety in relationships, making them "clingy" or jealous.

If a parent is often unavailable or distracted, the child is more likely to develop an avoidant-dismissive attachment style. Children with this attachment style have come to believe they cannot rely on others, and this leads them to avoid intimacy later in life.
[Read: How Attachment Styles Affect Adult Relationships]
Childhood trauma or abuse can contribute to a disorganized (or fearful-avoidant) attachment style. In these cases, a baby might see the parent as a source of comfort as well as a threat. This can lead to suspicion, hostility, and lack of commitment in later relationships.

Nature vs. nurture

Studies of twins indicate that attachment security is mostly affected by a child's environment rather than genetics. However, it's possible that certain children are genetically more vulnerable to developing attachment disorders, such as reactive attachment disorder.

Signs and symptoms of attachment issues

Although it is never too late to treat and repair attachment issues, the earlier you spot the symptoms of insecure attachment and take steps to repair them, the better. Caught in infancy before they become more serious problems, attachment difficulties are often easy to correct with the right help and support.

A 12- to 20-month-old infant with insecure attachment may:

Seem emotionally unfazed by your absence or presence.

Cry inconsolably, even when you try to soothe them.

Seem fearful of you or angry when you leave and return.

You can also use the following developmental milestones to identify early attachment difficulties. If your child doesn't seem to be reaching these milestones, talk to your pediatrician:

Around one to two months old, your baby should smile back when you smile and respond to high-pitched sounds you make.

Around four months old, your baby will likely take turns making noises back and forth with you.

At five months of age, they'll recognize you by sight.

At about eight months, they will follow your gaze when you look at things. This is known as joint attention.

Somewhere between six and 12 months of age, your child should begin actively seeking comfort from you and show a desire to play. When they're separated from you, they'll appear upset. They will also show some anxiety around strangers, as they become able to discern between familiar and unfamiliar faces.

At around 12 months, your baby will play games like peek-a-boo with you and use gestures to nonverbally communicate "hi," "bye," or "look over there."

At around 15 months, they will show signs of empathy. Perhaps they look sad when they see a sibling crying.

Between 18 and 24 months of age, the baby will play pretend with toys, such as imitating a conversation on a toy phone or feeding a doll.

Signs of attachment issues in older children

In school-age children, signs of attachment difficulties might show up in their interactions with siblings and classroom peers. Insecurely attached children may be:

Withdrawn from others and hesitant to join group activities.

Overly dependent on others.

Quick to act out to gain attention.

Prone to bullying peers or being defiant toward parents and teachers.

Hypervigilant and easily stressed.

Emotionally volatile, often showing extreme anger, despair, or fear.

Tips for parenting a child with attachment issues

Parenting a child with insecure attachment can be frustrating and emotionally draining. It can be hard to put your best parenting foot forward without the reassurance of a loving connection with your child. Sometimes you may even wonder if your efforts are worth it. But with time, patience, and concerted effort, attachment issues can be repaired..
[Read: Building a Secure Attachment Bond with Your Baby]
The key is to remain calm yet firm and responsive as you interact with your child. This will teach your child that they are safe and can trust you.

Tip 1: Prepare yourself emotionally

A child with insecure attachment is already experiencing a great deal of stress, so it is important that you evaluate and manage your own stress levels before trying to help your child with theirs. HelpGuide's free Emotional Intelligence Toolkit can teach you valuable skills for managing stress and dealing with overwhelming emotions, allowing you to focus on your child's needs.

To help a child with attachment issues, it's also important to:

Have realistic expectations. Helping your child may be a long road. Focus on making small steps forward and celebrate every sign of success.

Stay patient. The process may not be as rapid as you'd like, and you can expect bumps along the way. But by remaining patient and focusing on small improvements, you create an atmosphere of safety for your child.

Foster a sense of humor. Joy and laughter go a long way toward repairing attachment problems and energizing you, even in the midst of hard work. Find at least a couple of people or activities that help you laugh and feel good.

Take care of yourself. Reduce other demands on your time, make time for yourself, and manage stress. Rest, good nutrition, and parenting breaks help you relax and recharge your batteries so you can give your full attention to your child.

Find support. Rely on friends, family, and community resources. Try to ask for help before you really need it to avoid getting stressed to breaking point. You may also want to consider joining a support group for parents.

Stay positive and hopeful. Be sensitive to the fact that children pick up on feelings. If they sense that you're discouraged, it will be discouraging to them. When you are feeling down, turn to others for reassurance.

Tip 2: Provide stability and security

Safety and stability are core issues for children with attachment problems. They are distant and detached because they feel unsafe in the world. They keep their guard up to protect themselves, but it also prevents them from accepting love and support.

It is essential to build up your child's sense of security. You can accomplish this by establishing clear expectations and rules of behavior, and by responding consistently so your child knows what to expect when they act a certain way and-even more importantly-knows that no matter what happens, you can be counted on.

Set limits and boundaries. Consistent, loving boundaries make the world seem more stable and predictable and less scary to children with attachment difficulties. It's important that they understand what behavior is expected of them, what is and isn't acceptable, and the consequences if they disregard the rules. This also teaches them that they have more control over what happens to them.

Take charge, but remain calm when your child is upset or misbehaving. Remember that "bad" behavior means that your child doesn't know how to handle what they're feeling and needs your help. By staying calm, you show your child that the feeling is manageable. If they are being purposefully defiant, follow through with the pre-established consequences in a cool, matter-of-fact manner. But never discipline a child with an attachment issue when you're in an emotionally-charged state. This makes the child feel more unsafe and may even reinforce the bad behavior, since it's clear that it pushes your buttons.

Be immediately available to reconnect following a conflict. Conflict can be especially disturbing for children with attachment issues. After a conflict or tantrum where you've had to discipline your child, be ready to reconnect as soon as they're ready. This reinforces your consistency and love and will help your child develop a trust that you'll be there through thick and thin.
[Read: Conflict Resolution Skills]
Own up to mistakes and initiate repair. When you let frustration or anger get the best of you, or you do something you realize is insensitive, quickly address the mistake. Your willingness to take responsibility and make amends can strengthen the attachment bond. Children with attachment issues need to learn that, although you may not be perfect, you will love them no matter what.

Try to maintain predictable routines and schedules. A child with attachment issues may feel threatened by transition and inconsistency-when traveling or during school vacations, for example. A familiar routine or schedule can provide comfort during times of change.

Tip 3: Support your child's health

Your child's eating, sleep, and exercise habits are always important, but they're even more so for kids with attachment problems. Healthy lifestyle habits can go a long way toward reducing your child's stress levels and leveling out mood swings. When children with attachment issues are relaxed, well-rested, and feeling good, it will be much easier for them to handle life's challenges.

Diet. Make sure your child eats a healthy diet full of whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and lean protein. Be sure to skip the sugar and add plenty of good fats-like fish, flax seed, avocados, and olive oil-for optimal brain health.
[Read: Healthy Food for Kids]
Sleep. If your child is tired during the day, it will be that much harder for them to focus on learning new things. Making their sleep schedule (bedtime and wake time) consistent can help alleviate childhood sleep problems.

Exercise. Any type of physical activity provides a great antidote to stress, frustration, and pent-up emotion, triggering endorphins to make your child feel good. Physical activity is especially important for an angry child. If your child isn't naturally active, try some different classes or sports to find something that is appealing.

Any one of these things-food, rest, and exercise-can make the difference between a good and a bad day for a child who has attachment difficulties. These basics will help ensure that your child's brain is healthy and ready to connect.

Tip 4: Make your child feel loved

A child who has not bonded early in life will have a hard time accepting love, especially physical expressions of love. But you can help them learn to accept your love with time, consistency, and repetition. Trust and security come from seeing loving actions, hearing reassuring words, and feeling comforted over and over again.

Identify actions that feel good to your child. If possible, show your child love through rocking, cuddling, and holding-attachment experiences they may have missed out on earlier. But always be respectful of what feels comfortable and good to your child. In cases of previous abuse, neglect, and trauma, you may have to go very slowly because your child may be very resistant to physical touch.

Consider your nonverbal cues. Your body language can send all sorts of positive and negative messages. For example, when possible, maintain eye contact when talking with your child. If you frequently seem distracted or disinterested, they will notice your inattentiveness.

Help your child identify emotions and express their needs. Children with attachment problems may not know what they're feeling or how to ask for what they need. Reinforce the idea that all feelings are okay and show them healthy ways to express their emotions.

Listen, talk, and play with your child. Carve out times when you're able to give your child your full, focused attention in ways that feel comfortable to them. It may seem hard to drop everything, eliminate distractions, and just live in the moment, but spending quality time together provides a great opportunity for your child to open up to you and feel your focused attention and care.

Professional treatment

If your child is suffering from a severe attachment issue or either type of attachment disorder, it's important to seek professional help. Extra support can make a dramatic and positive change in your child's life, and the earlier you seek help, the better.

Start by consulting with your pediatrician, a child development specialist, or an organization that specializes in child development or attachment disorders.

Treatment for attachment issues and disorders usually involves a combination of therapy, counseling, and parenting education. These are designed to ensure that your child has a safe living environment, improves their peer relationships, and develops positive interactions with you, their parent or caregiver.

While medication may be used to treat associated conditions, such as depression, anxiety, or hyperactivity, there is no quick fix. Your pediatrician may recommend a treatment plan that includes:

Family therapy. Typical therapy for attachment problems includes both your child and you. Therapy often involves fun and rewarding activities that enhance the attachment bond as well as help parents and other children in the family understand the symptoms of the disorder and effective interventions.

Individual psychological counseling. Therapists may also meet with your child individually or while you observe. This is designed to help your child directly with monitoring their emotions and behavior.

Play therapy. Helps your child learn appropriate skills for interacting with peers and handling other social situations.

Special education services. Specifically designed programs within your child's school can help them learn skills required for academic and social success, while also addressing behavioral and emotional difficulties.

Parenting skills classes. Education for parents and caregivers centers on learning about attachment issues as well as other necessary parenting skills.

Raising a child with attachment issues can be a challenging yet rewarding experience. As you provide them with consistent love and mindful care, you'll watch them grow into secure, confident individuals.

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Attachment Issues in Children: Causes, Symptoms, Treatment - HelpGuide.org

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Attachment problems can affect your child's development, relationships, and overall well-being. Here's how to overcome insecure attachment.

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Supporting children with attachment difficulties – information for parents/carers

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Supporting children with attachment difficulties - information for parents/carers - Educational Psychology & Specialist Support

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As children grow up, they develop attachments to their main care givers. It is thought that children develop different types of attachments, depending on the relationships they have in their early life. 'Nurturing adult attachments provide children with protective, safe havens and secure bases from which to explore and engage with others and their environment'...

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Free online self-harm support for 10-17 year olds. Alumina is a free, online 7 week course for young people struggling with self-harm. Each course has up to 14 young people, all accessing the sessions from their own phones, tablets or laptops across the UK.

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"Since starting alumina it's become the highlight of my week. It's such a safe, non judgemental place which has really helped me in my recovery."

Max

"If you're thinking about joining I'd say go for it, the team are lovely and everyone who does it is so welcoming and supportive"

Abi

Alumina is a free, online 7 week course for young people struggling with self-harm. Each course has up to 14 young people, all accessing the sessions from their own phones, tablets or laptops across the UK. The courses take place on different evenings of the week and are run by friendly, trained counsellors and volunteer youth workers. You don't need an adult to refer you or sign you up, and no-one will see or hear you during the sessions - you'll just join in via the chatbox. We want to help you to find your next steps towards recovery, wherever you are on your journey.

IS ALUMINA RIGHT FOR ME?

Are you...

10-17 years old?

Living in the UK?

Someone who self-harms or worries they might?

Looking for support but not wanting to do it face to face?

Wanting to move towards a life free from self-harm?

If so...

Alumina could be a helpful step forward. If you sign up we'll begin a conversation over email to work out if it might be a good fit - and you can ask us any questions you have. The only rule we have in Alumina is that we don't talk about suicide in the groups. If that's something you are struggling with thinking about we recommend getting in touch with our friends at Papyrus who are better equipped to support you.

"I thought it would be all serious and uncomfortable because of the self-harm talk but actually, the staff have made me laugh, we've been given a space that feels relevant to our ages and most importantly we can turn up in any mood and they'll be there for us." Runa

What's a session like?

"Clicking on the link for the first time was nerve wracking and intense with lots of thoughts going through my head. But within only a few minutes of the session I had a smile on my face and felt comfortable with the staff and the group."

Sasha

"Alumina was quite different to what I expected, I thought it would just be an intense 6 weeks and it would be over like other services. But it was nothing like that - instead I felt and still feel very supported by the staff. The group and staff are like a big family who's always there for me."

Samara

"Clicking that link for the very first time was terrifying. But I knew it could be life-changing. The first session I felt welcome, I no longer felt like an outsider. It's fun, believe me!! Most days I find myself looking forward to the next session because Alumina gives me a sign of hope."

Dan

Questions

We aren't a crisis service so if you're in need of immediate support please contact one of the following:

The Mix: Offering essential support for anyone aged 12-25. For their crisis messenger support service text THEMIX to 85258.
Childline: Support for anyone up to age 18. Call, chat online or email their crisis service.
Samaritans: Call 116123 anytime if you need to talk to someone.

We've changed the shape of our support for young people. This website introduces Alumina, our online support groups for young people struggling with self-harm. We've also recently launched beheadstrong.uk offering young people all kinds of information, stories and videos about looking after your mental and emotional wellbeing. You can find links to some of selfharm.co.uk's most popular articles below.

Yes we have! We have worked with 14-19 year olds for many years but we have always heard from people who are younger (or those who care about them) asking if we do anything for younger people. Then from September 2022 we reduced our age range to 11, and found how important it was to support this age range and that our Early Intervention project was great for this age range. Therefore, from October 2023 we will be aiming our work at young people in secondary school or college (or equivalent) and those transitioning to secondary school and our age range has reduced to 10-17 years old. If you're under 13 we will need to get permission from someone with parental responsibility for you, and we will email them to explain how Alumina works and make sure they are happy with you joining a group.

We aim to group similar aged young people into groups together, so 10-13-year-olds will be offered groups together and 13-17 year olds will be in other groups together. We are happy to work with anyone until the end of their full-time education, therefore we will work with 17- and 18-year-olds so long as they are three months or more away from finishing their education at the end of August.

Meet the team

Live Webinars

We have recently started to do live webinars on YouTube on issues related to self-harm and emotional wellbeing

Supporting Young People Who Self-harm

If you're a parent, professional or friend supporting a young person who's self-harming, we recommend taking an hour to watch this webinar with our Alumina Managers. They explore why people self-harm, why young people especially self-harm, why it becomes addictive, how to break the addiction cycle, and what young people wish the adults around them understood about self-harm.

"Alumina is a well thought through support service for young people; it is professional, caring and accessible to all. Signposting a young person to Alumina will help them begin their recovery journey."

DR. KATE MIDDLETON

Our Alumina advisory panel

More information about self-harm

We've moved some of our most popular articles about self-harm over to beheadstrong.uk, and you can use these links to find them:

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Free online Self-harm support for 10-17 year olds

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"Since starting alumina it's become the highlight of my week. It's such a safe, non judgemental place which has really helped me in my recovery." Max "If you're thinking about joining I'd say go for it, the team are lovely and everyone who does it is so welcoming and supportive" Abi Alumina is a free, online 7 week course for young people struggling with self-harm.

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Read our guide to self-harm to learn more about what self-harm is, what the signs of self-harm are in a young person, and where to get support.

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#NoHarmDone | A Parent's Journey | My Child Self-Harms | YoungMinds

If you're worried that your child is self-harming but they aren't talking to you about it or showing visible injuries, it can be difficult to know what's going on.

Ways that young people self-harm

Some ways that young people self-harm include:

cutting themselves

scratching skin with fingernails

burning skin

biting skin

hitting themselves, or banging their head or another part of their body on a wall

pulling hair out from their head, eyebrows or eyelashes

inserting objects into their body

Things to look out for

If you are worried your child may be self-harming, here are some things to look out for:

unexplained cuts, burns, bite marks, bruises or bald patches

keeping themselves covered, for example wearing long sleeves or trousers even during hot weather, not wanting to change clothes around others or avoiding activities like swimming

bloody tissues in waste bins

seeming low or depressed, for example withdrawing from friends and family

blaming themselves for problems or expressing feelings of failure, uselessness or hopelessness

outbursts of anger or argumentativeness

Self-harm is usually a way of trying to manage very difficult feelings. People often self-harm when life feels hard to cope with - when lots of distressing feelings have built up and it's become overwhelming. In the moment, the sensation of self-harming and experiencing some physical pain can feel easier than feeling out of control emotionally.

If a young person is self-harming, it's often a sign that something in their life isn't quite right or has become too much to deal with. It can be understood as an important message about how a young person is feeling - one that needs to be noticed with care by the adults around them.

Some myths you might hear about self-harm can make it harder to talk about as a parent - including that it's a 'phase' young people go through, or that it's an attention-seeking behaviour.

While it might feel hard to understand sometimes from the outside, self-harm can be a way for a young person to:

manage, reduce or express very strong and upsetting emotions - such as hurt, sadness, anger, fear or feeling bad about themselves

relieve tension and pressure, or reduce feelings of panic and anxiety and temporarily feel calmer

experience a feeling of physical pain to distract from emotional pain

gain a sense of control over feelings or problems - for example, by feeling there's something they can do when things feel too much

stop feeling numb or 'zoned-out' - which can be a protection mechanism our bodies use when we're experiencing overwhelming feelings

However, while it often feels like self-harm brings some relief in the moment, this is only temporary. As feelings build up again, so does the urge to self-harm. As this cycle continues over time, a young person may start to feel ashamed, confused or frightened about the fact that they're self-harming - increasing the load they're carrying on top of what they're already going through. This can become a cycle that's really hard to break, and a habit that's hard to stop.

Helping your child in the short term

When the urge to self-harm does build in the moment, having a list of other things they can do straight away can also help your child to 'ride the wave of' their intense feelings without self-harming.

Remember that different things will work for different people, and that what helps will usually depend on the feelings your child is trying to manage. Some young people will want to do something soothing like wrapping themselves up in a comfy space, while others might want to do something very active to burn off the energy in their body.

Talk to your child about different strategies they could try, while also giving them space to find their own ways of coping and figure out what works for them. Strategies could include:

Making and using a self soothe box

Writing down how they're feeling in a journal

Writing down difficult feelings on pieces of paper and then ripping them up

Ripping up a magazine or newspaper

Hitting a soft cushion, pillow or bean bag

Listening to loud music

Having a shower

Doing some exercise

Going for a walk outside, or taking the dog for a walk

Focusing on their breathing - how it feels in their body to breathe in and out

Wrapping up in a blanket or duvet

Talking to someone - a friend, family member or calling a helpline

Tidying or organising something

Doing a hobby they enjoy that helps them feel calm, such as painting, drawing, colouring-in, watching a favourite TV programme, playing video games, cooking or baking

Your child might want to use an app like Calm Harm so they have something on their phone that suggests different techniques they can try when they feel the urge to self-harm.

Helping your child over the longer term

Over the longer-term, becoming more aware of how they feel when they self-harm, what's making them feel this way and what kinds of things help, will empower your child to feel more in control. This will hopefully reduce the sense of being overwhelmed and the feeling that they need to self-harm. You can find more tips about this below.

It might help to start a conversation while walking outside or doing an activity, which can help your child to feel more relaxed and make it feel less like a 'big chat'. It can also help both of you to be in a neutral space, for example not in their bedroom. You can find our activity ideas for starting a conversation in our guide to talking to your child about mental health.

While you may understandably have lots of questions, it's important to remember your child is going through a tough time and may find this overwhelming. Focus on finding out how they're doing, without bombarding them for information.

Remember that your child may feel ashamed about self-harming and find it difficult to talk about. Let them come to you when they feel ready to talk, and reassure them that they can talk to you as often and for as long as they need to.

If your child is struggling to talk, they might find it easier to text you or write you a letter. This also gives you time to process what they've told you and think about how you'd like to respond.

When your child does open up, try to focus on listening, showing empathy and being curious about what it's like for them, rather than trying to 'fix' things straightaway. Sometimes they will just want you to listen and understand how they are feeling.

What kinds of thoughts are they having, and how do they feel in their bodies? For example, they might start to feel more zoned-out, or like they're full of panic. This can help them to recognise what feelings they're trying to cope with, and what they can do instead to express and manage these.

Keeping a mood diary might help them to understand this overtime - this could be as simple as a word, phrase or emoji that they note down each day.

Responding to self-harm - Roundup | YoungMinds Parents Lounge

There are different places where you can find help for your child. Speaking to your GP is often a good place to start, as they can discuss your concerns, speak to your child to find out how they're doing and let you know what support options are available. Depending on your child's situation, they can also refer them for an assessment by a mental health specialist or to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). You can speak to the GP yourself to explain the situation and ask for advice, even if your child doesn't want to talk to them.

Young people who are self-harming may find it particularly helpful to speak to a counsellor or therapist, who can help them to make sense of how they're feeling and work with them to find new ways of coping. Our guide to counselling services takes you through the process of finding a counsellor or therapist for your child.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing CAMHS, getting help from your child's school and finding local services on our guide to getting support from mental health services.

Trying to find the right help for your child and finding your way around different services can be really tiring at times - so keep reminding yourself that you're doing your best and that it's not easy.

Some young people who are self-harming will find it very difficult to speak to a professional, go to appointments or even acknowledge what's going on. If things are feeling stuck, you can call our Parents Helpline for information, advice and support.

Parents have found the following things helpful to keep in mind when seeking professional help:

If you're feeling under a lot of strain yourself, or that the situation is too much to manage as a parent, it's often a sign that more professional help is needed.

Try to speak to professionals early on, before things have escalated to a crisis situation.

Encourage your child to give themselves some time to get to know a professional and build trust, remembering that they might be starting from a very withdrawn place.

Ask if you can see the same professional each time, so that you and your child don't have to keep re-explaining the situation.

Be open minded about different types of treatment - remembering that what works for your child might not be the same as what would work for you.

It's important to take your child to hospital or to your GP if they have any injuries or wounds that require medical attention.

It can be helpful to understand as a parent that self-harm is often a coping mechanism to help someone manage, and isn't necessarily an expression of suicidal feelings or an attempt to take their own life. However, people who experience suicidal thoughts can be more likely to have self-harmed in the past. If you're worried that your child may be experiencing suicidal thoughts, read our guide to find out how you can access help.

If your child is having a mental health crisis and needs urgent help now, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

If your child's life is at risk, or if it does not feel like they're safe, please call 999 for an ambulance or take them straight to A&E.

Find urgent help

Finding out that your child is self-harming can be an incredibly distressing, or even traumatic, experience as a parent. It's completely normal to struggle with feelings of anxiety, confusion, sadness, anger, frustration, guilt or shame.

Try to take time when you can to check in with yourself, and to think about ways you can take care of yourself as well as your child. Remember that it's okay to ask for help when you need it, and to share your worries with someone you trust.

Many parents who have been in this situation find it helpful to reach out to other parents so they can talk through how they have handled difficult situations and found support. You may also be able to find a local parent support group using the Charlie Waller Trust directory.

If you need more help, speaking to your GP is a good place to start, and they may be able to refer you to a local support service. Sometimes it helps just having someone there who can listen to what you're going through - and if you need someone to talk to, you can call the Samaritans anytime on 116 123.

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

This page was reviewed in July 2021. It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with self-harm. We will next review the page in 2024. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Self-Harm & Mental Health | Guide For Parents

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Read our guide to self-harm to learn more about what self-harm is, what the signs of self-harm are in a young person, and where to get support.

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The forum provides crisis support, information and resources,
advice, discussions and distractions.

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Please take note of the following: Due to the sensitivities of self harm, please exercise caution when using this website.

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Whether someone tells you directly, or you suspect that someone is hurting themselves, it can be difficult to know what to say and how best to approach the situation.

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Read our tips on how you can support someone who self-harms - and how to look after yourself.

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If you think someone you know has started to self-harm, it's important to approach the subject with care and understanding.

It can be very helpful to just be there and let them know they're not alone. But it's important to remember you may not be able to help them on your own.

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If you think someone you know has started to self-harm, it’s important to approach the subject with care and understanding.

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Discovering that someone you care about may be self-harming themself can really distressing, and while it’s normal to be concerned, it’s an area of mental health that’s often misunderstood.

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1. Put safety first

If someone is cut or harmed in some way, try to keep calm. Clean any wounds, and if the bleeding does not stop after a few minutes, they need to be taken to A&E.

Tips for managing in the moment

The sight of blood can make things seem worse than they really are, so try not to panic.

As difficult as it may be, take a deep breath and try to put your emotions aside.

Offer to help clean the wound but be aware that they may want to do this by themselves.

2. Try to put things into perspective

Self-harm is often mistaken for attempted suicide. While suicidal thoughts may exist, in most cases it is done to express emotional distress in a way that enables them to stay alive.

Why do children and adolescents self-harm?

Self-harm is likely to be an indication that the child lacks healthy coping skills.

Self-harming allows them to feel something physical that expresses their emotional pain.

The physical pain releases endorphins in the brain that may give them a feeling of short-term relief but is not a healthy long-term coping strategy.

3. Try to be supportive

Try to be patient and understanding. Let them know that you're there to support them and that you want to help.

Advice for parents supporting a child who is self-harming

It's a common misconception that self-harm is a form of attention seeking. In fact, attention may be the last thing they want and they're likely to keep cuts, scars or burns covered up.

Try to start a conversation but be aware it may be one they don't want. Start by asking them how they're doing and letting them know you're there for them.

If they do want to talk, try to simply listen rather than having all the answers.

4. Try to stay positive

Try to see the positives in the fact that a problem that was hidden has now come to light. Encourage them to speak to someone who can help, such as their GP, an adult at school or someone from the local mental health service.

Tips for maintaining a positive outlook

Difficult times are when we tend to learn the most. Try to view challenges and mistakes as part of a learning curve where each experience is making you better prepared for future challenges.

Allow yourself to find the humour in even the most difficult moments, and when things are tough remember that what's happening will probably make for a great story in the future.

Think about things that you are grateful for, however small, and try to visualise the future you hope for.

You can build resilience by reminding yourself of previous occasions when you've come through adversity and gained valuable experience.

5. Try to find safer alternatives

Work together to find alternatives that might recreate the sensation they need when they feel the urge to self-harm so that you limit the potential damage, but they still feel the sense of relief.

Tips for keeping them safe

It's likely to be a case of trial and error, but things like a slice of lemon or a chilli to bite on, some ice to hold or an elastic band on the wrist to snap against the skin have worked for some people, but don't be surprised if they don't work for your child.

If they're head banging, you could slide a pillow or cushion between their head and the hard surface to limit the potential damage, but they still feel the sense of relief it gives them.

It might also be a good idea to remove all sharp knives and razor blades. But be reasonable if your child has a legitimate reason for using one, like needing to shave.

Some additional resources that may help

For more advice on parenting a child with mental health issues, visit our dedicated page

NHS advice for helping someone who self-harms

Mind.org also offers dedicated advice for supporting a child who self-harms

For information on how to access NHS Mental health services click here

Download a printable version of this advice

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How to help someone who self-harms | ThisMayHelp

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Andrea McLean shares NHS Mental Health Experts' advice for parents who need support with a child affected by self-harm. Watch the video here.

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As a parent or carer it can be frightening to discover that your child or young person has harmed themselves on purpose. There are two main reasons that young people self-harm;

As a way to manage strong and overwhelming emotions

A way of reconnecting with life or their body.

Self-harm is not uncommon – a recent survey showed about 22% of young people aged 15 said they had self-harmed.

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Find advice on spotting self harm in children and young people at Just One Norfolk, with advice on support you can offer and getting professional help.

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NSFT Psychology in Schools Team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

Use the hyperlinks below to find out more about the workshop and get the link to the video on YouTube:

The workshop is designed to explore some of the eating difficulties young people maybe facing at this time, to understand the way food can be used as a coping mechanism in times of stress, to address what a parent/carer can do that is helpful or not helpful, and importantly identify what are the red flags to alert a parent/carer to take action to get help, as well as where to get help. The workshop's focus is on providing easily accessible information in an interactive format which will encourage early intervention and prevention of the escalation of difficulties at this time.

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/93IRgw2VnOs

Life is always unpredictable, but we have been living with a much higher degree of uncertainty over this last year than is usual. This workshop will introduce strategies that parents/carers/professionals can support their young people to help them cope better with uncertainty now and in the years to come. Being able to adapt to situations by learning to tolerate emotions and cope with change reduces stress levels and is a great skill for life. This workshop is suitable for parents/carers of all children struggling in the current pandemic who would like to learn strategies they can teach their children to manage difficult thoughts, feelings, and situations. It is also helpful for professionals who might work with young people.

"What I will take away from tonight's session - Try to take the uncertain path instead of keeping to the safe route was new to me and I think will change my life and make my children's future better. Living life to the full instead of a half life like I feel has been the case".

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/e6sSkYLlll8

This workshop explores how we make sense of what we are all experiencing at the moment. It will consider the most significant challenges posed by the pandemic for both parents and young people (including anxiety and low mood) while also thinking about the most helpful ways to manage these challenges.

"I found your session so helpful as it made me feel that I am not alone as a parent, that we are all going through this together. It made me feel that actually 'I'm doing an ok job' and not to be too hard on myself. I found the biochemistry side of things fascinating and it was exactly the things that are happening with my son. It made me feel reenergised and to 'keep going'."

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/FzUrOntfbnU

This workshop is for parents of school aged children to help them understand anxiety better. The session covers: what is anxiety, why anxiety, how it effects the brain, how it effects the body, how it impacts on what we do and don't do and how parents can support their children/adolescents who might be struggling with anxiety.

"Connection over correction - its very difficult to do this and I often need reminding! ideas to help Children move from reassurance to self-assurance was useful as I'm often exhausted from having to reassure constantly!"

View the video on our YouTube channel: Anxiety in Adolescence - YouTube

All of our young people have days when they feel low, this is perfectly normal. Sometimes this low mood hangs around for a bit longer and starts to make it much more difficult for our young people to do the things that are important to them and have the kind of relationships they want to have with others. For us as parents it can be hard to spot these difficulties especially among all the other changes that are happening in adolescence. This workshop will help you to have a better understanding of why our young people are more vulnerable to low mood once they reach adolescence, the warning signs and some evidence based strategies to best support your young person.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting Our Young People with Low Mood - Parent Workshop - YouTube

This workshop explores what resilience is and why it is important for our young people. The sessions focus on five key components to wellbeing and resilience and suggests practical support for our young people in each of these five areas. The workshop pays particular attention to the approaching summer holidays and the opportunities these offer.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Building resilience - managing the next steps - YouTube

Experiencing sleep difficulties at some stage in our lives is common. We know that children and young people can particularly struggle with their sleep. Sleep difficulties are not only frustrating, but they start to impact on our mood and everyday lives.

This sleep workshop is aimed at parents and carers who have children over 11 years old who may be experiencing difficulties with their sleep. The workshop, delivered by the Psychology in Schools Team, covers important topics such as:

why we need sleep

why teenagers may struggle more with this

what you can do to support your young person to have a better night's sleep

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting our Children and Adolescents with Sleep workshop - YouTube

During adolescence, the brain is going through some very big changes - these changes are positive and support our young people to make the transition into adulthood. However, these changes can be confusing and understanding what is happening in the teenage brain is incredibly helpful. This session will explore these brain changes and how they impact on all aspects of our adolescent's life, including mood, behaviour, risk taking and relationships. We will also explore what we can do to strengthen our relationships with our young people and support them through this period of development. With thanks to Dr Hazel Harrison for the brilliant brain house illustration.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Supporting our teenagers with emotions - YouTube

Dr Hope Westgate and Dr Tamara Scully, Clinical Psychologists from NSFT, deliver a workshop for parents on 'supporting children to manage big feelings'. This workshop includes information on children's emotional development and what is happening in their brain when they are experiencing big emotions. It also provides practical and supportive guidance on what are some of the things that parents can do to support their children with the emotions they experience. This workshop is primarily aimed at parents of children who are under 12.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting your child to manage their big feelings - YouTube

Live workshops

You can get information about the latest LIVE workshops by logging into Eventbrite and following the Psychology in Schools team. You will then be notified of upcoming workshops and have a link to book onto these.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.body
NSFT Psychology in Schools Team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

Use the hyperlinks below to find out more about the workshop and get the link to the video on YouTube:

The workshop is designed to explore some of the eating difficulties young people maybe facing at this time, to understand the way food can be used as a coping mechanism in times of stress, to address what a parent/carer can do that is helpful or not helpful, and importantly identify what are the red flags to alert a parent/carer to take action to get help, as well as where to get help. The workshop's focus is on providing easily accessible information in an interactive format which will encourage early intervention and prevention of the escalation of difficulties at this time.

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/93IRgw2VnOs

Life is always unpredictable, but we have been living with a much higher degree of uncertainty over this last year than is usual. This workshop will introduce strategies that parents/carers/professionals can support their young people to help them cope better with uncertainty now and in the years to come. Being able to adapt to situations by learning to tolerate emotions and cope with change reduces stress levels and is a great skill for life. This workshop is suitable for parents/carers of all children struggling in the current pandemic who would like to learn strategies they can teach their children to manage difficult thoughts, feelings, and situations. It is also helpful for professionals who might work with young people.

"What I will take away from tonight's session - Try to take the uncertain path instead of keeping to the safe route was new to me and I think will change my life and make my children's future better. Living life to the full instead of a half life like I feel has been the case".

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/e6sSkYLlll8

This workshop explores how we make sense of what we are all experiencing at the moment. It will consider the most significant challenges posed by the pandemic for both parents and young people (including anxiety and low mood) while also thinking about the most helpful ways to manage these challenges.

"I found your session so helpful as it made me feel that I am not alone as a parent, that we are all going through this together. It made me feel that actually 'I'm doing an ok job' and not to be too hard on myself. I found the biochemistry side of things fascinating and it was exactly the things that are happening with my son. It made me feel reenergised and to 'keep going'."

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/FzUrOntfbnU

This workshop is for parents of school aged children to help them understand anxiety better. The session covers: what is anxiety, why anxiety, how it effects the brain, how it effects the body, how it impacts on what we do and don't do and how parents can support their children/adolescents who might be struggling with anxiety.

"Connection over correction - its very difficult to do this and I often need reminding! ideas to help Children move from reassurance to self-assurance was useful as I'm often exhausted from having to reassure constantly!"

View the video on our YouTube channel: Anxiety in Adolescence - YouTube

All of our young people have days when they feel low, this is perfectly normal. Sometimes this low mood hangs around for a bit longer and starts to make it much more difficult for our young people to do the things that are important to them and have the kind of relationships they want to have with others. For us as parents it can be hard to spot these difficulties especially among all the other changes that are happening in adolescence. This workshop will help you to have a better understanding of why our young people are more vulnerable to low mood once they reach adolescence, the warning signs and some evidence based strategies to best support your young person.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting Our Young People with Low Mood - Parent Workshop - YouTube

This workshop explores what resilience is and why it is important for our young people. The sessions focus on five key components to wellbeing and resilience and suggests practical support for our young people in each of these five areas. The workshop pays particular attention to the approaching summer holidays and the opportunities these offer.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Building resilience - managing the next steps - YouTube

Experiencing sleep difficulties at some stage in our lives is common. We know that children and young people can particularly struggle with their sleep. Sleep difficulties are not only frustrating, but they start to impact on our mood and everyday lives.

This sleep workshop is aimed at parents and carers who have children over 11 years old who may be experiencing difficulties with their sleep. The workshop, delivered by the Psychology in Schools Team, covers important topics such as:

why we need sleep

why teenagers may struggle more with this

what you can do to support your young person to have a better night's sleep

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting our Children and Adolescents with Sleep workshop - YouTube

During adolescence, the brain is going through some very big changes - these changes are positive and support our young people to make the transition into adulthood. However, these changes can be confusing and understanding what is happening in the teenage brain is incredibly helpful. This session will explore these brain changes and how they impact on all aspects of our adolescent's life, including mood, behaviour, risk taking and relationships. We will also explore what we can do to strengthen our relationships with our young people and support them through this period of development. With thanks to Dr Hazel Harrison for the brilliant brain house illustration.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Supporting our teenagers with emotions - YouTube

Dr Hope Westgate and Dr Tamara Scully, Clinical Psychologists from NSFT, deliver a workshop for parents on 'supporting children to manage big feelings'. This workshop includes information on children's emotional development and what is happening in their brain when they are experiencing big emotions. It also provides practical and supportive guidance on what are some of the things that parents can do to support their children with the emotions they experience. This workshop is primarily aimed at parents of children who are under 12.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting your child to manage their big feelings - YouTube

Live workshops

You can get information about the latest LIVE workshops by logging into Eventbrite and following the Psychology in Schools team. You will then be notified of upcoming workshops and have a link to book onto these.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.body
NSFT Psychology in Schools Team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

Use the hyperlinks below to find out more about the workshop and get the link to the video on YouTube:

The workshop is designed to explore some of the eating difficulties young people maybe facing at this time, to understand the way food can be used as a coping mechanism in times of stress, to address what a parent/carer can do that is helpful or not helpful, and importantly identify what are the red flags to alert a parent/carer to take action to get help, as well as where to get help. The workshop's focus is on providing easily accessible information in an interactive format which will encourage early intervention and prevention of the escalation of difficulties at this time.

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/93IRgw2VnOs

Life is always unpredictable, but we have been living with a much higher degree of uncertainty over this last year than is usual. This workshop will introduce strategies that parents/carers/professionals can support their young people to help them cope better with uncertainty now and in the years to come. Being able to adapt to situations by learning to tolerate emotions and cope with change reduces stress levels and is a great skill for life. This workshop is suitable for parents/carers of all children struggling in the current pandemic who would like to learn strategies they can teach their children to manage difficult thoughts, feelings, and situations. It is also helpful for professionals who might work with young people.

"What I will take away from tonight's session - Try to take the uncertain path instead of keeping to the safe route was new to me and I think will change my life and make my children's future better. Living life to the full instead of a half life like I feel has been the case".

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/e6sSkYLlll8

This workshop explores how we make sense of what we are all experiencing at the moment. It will consider the most significant challenges posed by the pandemic for both parents and young people (including anxiety and low mood) while also thinking about the most helpful ways to manage these challenges.

"I found your session so helpful as it made me feel that I am not alone as a parent, that we are all going through this together. It made me feel that actually 'I'm doing an ok job' and not to be too hard on myself. I found the biochemistry side of things fascinating and it was exactly the things that are happening with my son. It made me feel reenergised and to 'keep going'."

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/FzUrOntfbnU

This workshop is for parents of school aged children to help them understand anxiety better. The session covers: what is anxiety, why anxiety, how it effects the brain, how it effects the body, how it impacts on what we do and don't do and how parents can support their children/adolescents who might be struggling with anxiety.

"Connection over correction - its very difficult to do this and I often need reminding! ideas to help Children move from reassurance to self-assurance was useful as I'm often exhausted from having to reassure constantly!"

View the video on our YouTube channel: Anxiety in Adolescence - YouTube

All of our young people have days when they feel low, this is perfectly normal. Sometimes this low mood hangs around for a bit longer and starts to make it much more difficult for our young people to do the things that are important to them and have the kind of relationships they want to have with others. For us as parents it can be hard to spot these difficulties especially among all the other changes that are happening in adolescence. This workshop will help you to have a better understanding of why our young people are more vulnerable to low mood once they reach adolescence, the warning signs and some evidence based strategies to best support your young person.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting Our Young People with Low Mood - Parent Workshop - YouTube

This workshop explores what resilience is and why it is important for our young people. The sessions focus on five key components to wellbeing and resilience and suggests practical support for our young people in each of these five areas. The workshop pays particular attention to the approaching summer holidays and the opportunities these offer.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Building resilience - managing the next steps - YouTube

Experiencing sleep difficulties at some stage in our lives is common. We know that children and young people can particularly struggle with their sleep. Sleep difficulties are not only frustrating, but they start to impact on our mood and everyday lives.

This sleep workshop is aimed at parents and carers who have children over 11 years old who may be experiencing difficulties with their sleep. The workshop, delivered by the Psychology in Schools Team, covers important topics such as:

why we need sleep

why teenagers may struggle more with this

what you can do to support your young person to have a better night's sleep

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting our Children and Adolescents with Sleep workshop - YouTube

During adolescence, the brain is going through some very big changes - these changes are positive and support our young people to make the transition into adulthood. However, these changes can be confusing and understanding what is happening in the teenage brain is incredibly helpful. This session will explore these brain changes and how they impact on all aspects of our adolescent's life, including mood, behaviour, risk taking and relationships. We will also explore what we can do to strengthen our relationships with our young people and support them through this period of development. With thanks to Dr Hazel Harrison for the brilliant brain house illustration.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Supporting our teenagers with emotions - YouTube

Dr Hope Westgate and Dr Tamara Scully, Clinical Psychologists from NSFT, deliver a workshop for parents on 'supporting children to manage big feelings'. This workshop includes information on children's emotional development and what is happening in their brain when they are experiencing big emotions. It also provides practical and supportive guidance on what are some of the things that parents can do to support their children with the emotions they experience. This workshop is primarily aimed at parents of children who are under 12.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting your child to manage their big feelings - YouTube

Live workshops

You can get information about the latest LIVE workshops by logging into Eventbrite and following the Psychology in Schools team. You will then be notified of upcoming workshops and have a link to book onto these.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.body
NSFT Psychology in Schools Team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

Use the hyperlinks below to find out more about the workshop and get the link to the video on YouTube:

The workshop is designed to explore some of the eating difficulties young people maybe facing at this time, to understand the way food can be used as a coping mechanism in times of stress, to address what a parent/carer can do that is helpful or not helpful, and importantly identify what are the red flags to alert a parent/carer to take action to get help, as well as where to get help. The workshop's focus is on providing easily accessible information in an interactive format which will encourage early intervention and prevention of the escalation of difficulties at this time.

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/93IRgw2VnOs

Life is always unpredictable, but we have been living with a much higher degree of uncertainty over this last year than is usual. This workshop will introduce strategies that parents/carers/professionals can support their young people to help them cope better with uncertainty now and in the years to come. Being able to adapt to situations by learning to tolerate emotions and cope with change reduces stress levels and is a great skill for life. This workshop is suitable for parents/carers of all children struggling in the current pandemic who would like to learn strategies they can teach their children to manage difficult thoughts, feelings, and situations. It is also helpful for professionals who might work with young people.

"What I will take away from tonight's session - Try to take the uncertain path instead of keeping to the safe route was new to me and I think will change my life and make my children's future better. Living life to the full instead of a half life like I feel has been the case".

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/e6sSkYLlll8

This workshop explores how we make sense of what we are all experiencing at the moment. It will consider the most significant challenges posed by the pandemic for both parents and young people (including anxiety and low mood) while also thinking about the most helpful ways to manage these challenges.

"I found your session so helpful as it made me feel that I am not alone as a parent, that we are all going through this together. It made me feel that actually 'I'm doing an ok job' and not to be too hard on myself. I found the biochemistry side of things fascinating and it was exactly the things that are happening with my son. It made me feel reenergised and to 'keep going'."

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/FzUrOntfbnU

This workshop is for parents of school aged children to help them understand anxiety better. The session covers: what is anxiety, why anxiety, how it effects the brain, how it effects the body, how it impacts on what we do and don't do and how parents can support their children/adolescents who might be struggling with anxiety.

"Connection over correction - its very difficult to do this and I often need reminding! ideas to help Children move from reassurance to self-assurance was useful as I'm often exhausted from having to reassure constantly!"

View the video on our YouTube channel: Anxiety in Adolescence - YouTube

All of our young people have days when they feel low, this is perfectly normal. Sometimes this low mood hangs around for a bit longer and starts to make it much more difficult for our young people to do the things that are important to them and have the kind of relationships they want to have with others. For us as parents it can be hard to spot these difficulties especially among all the other changes that are happening in adolescence. This workshop will help you to have a better understanding of why our young people are more vulnerable to low mood once they reach adolescence, the warning signs and some evidence based strategies to best support your young person.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting Our Young People with Low Mood - Parent Workshop - YouTube

This workshop explores what resilience is and why it is important for our young people. The sessions focus on five key components to wellbeing and resilience and suggests practical support for our young people in each of these five areas. The workshop pays particular attention to the approaching summer holidays and the opportunities these offer.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Building resilience - managing the next steps - YouTube

Experiencing sleep difficulties at some stage in our lives is common. We know that children and young people can particularly struggle with their sleep. Sleep difficulties are not only frustrating, but they start to impact on our mood and everyday lives.

This sleep workshop is aimed at parents and carers who have children over 11 years old who may be experiencing difficulties with their sleep. The workshop, delivered by the Psychology in Schools Team, covers important topics such as:

why we need sleep

why teenagers may struggle more with this

what you can do to support your young person to have a better night's sleep

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting our Children and Adolescents with Sleep workshop - YouTube

During adolescence, the brain is going through some very big changes - these changes are positive and support our young people to make the transition into adulthood. However, these changes can be confusing and understanding what is happening in the teenage brain is incredibly helpful. This session will explore these brain changes and how they impact on all aspects of our adolescent's life, including mood, behaviour, risk taking and relationships. We will also explore what we can do to strengthen our relationships with our young people and support them through this period of development. With thanks to Dr Hazel Harrison for the brilliant brain house illustration.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Supporting our teenagers with emotions - YouTube

Dr Hope Westgate and Dr Tamara Scully, Clinical Psychologists from NSFT, deliver a workshop for parents on 'supporting children to manage big feelings'. This workshop includes information on children's emotional development and what is happening in their brain when they are experiencing big emotions. It also provides practical and supportive guidance on what are some of the things that parents can do to support their children with the emotions they experience. This workshop is primarily aimed at parents of children who are under 12.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting your child to manage their big feelings - YouTube

Live workshops

You can get information about the latest LIVE workshops by logging into Eventbrite and following the Psychology in Schools team. You will then be notified of upcoming workshops and have a link to book onto these.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.body
NSFT Psychology in Schools Team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

Use the hyperlinks below to find out more about the workshop and get the link to the video on YouTube:

The workshop is designed to explore some of the eating difficulties young people maybe facing at this time, to understand the way food can be used as a coping mechanism in times of stress, to address what a parent/carer can do that is helpful or not helpful, and importantly identify what are the red flags to alert a parent/carer to take action to get help, as well as where to get help. The workshop's focus is on providing easily accessible information in an interactive format which will encourage early intervention and prevention of the escalation of difficulties at this time.

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/93IRgw2VnOs

Life is always unpredictable, but we have been living with a much higher degree of uncertainty over this last year than is usual. This workshop will introduce strategies that parents/carers/professionals can support their young people to help them cope better with uncertainty now and in the years to come. Being able to adapt to situations by learning to tolerate emotions and cope with change reduces stress levels and is a great skill for life. This workshop is suitable for parents/carers of all children struggling in the current pandemic who would like to learn strategies they can teach their children to manage difficult thoughts, feelings, and situations. It is also helpful for professionals who might work with young people.

"What I will take away from tonight's session - Try to take the uncertain path instead of keeping to the safe route was new to me and I think will change my life and make my children's future better. Living life to the full instead of a half life like I feel has been the case".

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/e6sSkYLlll8

This workshop explores how we make sense of what we are all experiencing at the moment. It will consider the most significant challenges posed by the pandemic for both parents and young people (including anxiety and low mood) while also thinking about the most helpful ways to manage these challenges.

"I found your session so helpful as it made me feel that I am not alone as a parent, that we are all going through this together. It made me feel that actually 'I'm doing an ok job' and not to be too hard on myself. I found the biochemistry side of things fascinating and it was exactly the things that are happening with my son. It made me feel reenergised and to 'keep going'."

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/FzUrOntfbnU

This workshop is for parents of school aged children to help them understand anxiety better. The session covers: what is anxiety, why anxiety, how it effects the brain, how it effects the body, how it impacts on what we do and don't do and how parents can support their children/adolescents who might be struggling with anxiety.

"Connection over correction - its very difficult to do this and I often need reminding! ideas to help Children move from reassurance to self-assurance was useful as I'm often exhausted from having to reassure constantly!"

View the video on our YouTube channel: Anxiety in Adolescence - YouTube

All of our young people have days when they feel low, this is perfectly normal. Sometimes this low mood hangs around for a bit longer and starts to make it much more difficult for our young people to do the things that are important to them and have the kind of relationships they want to have with others. For us as parents it can be hard to spot these difficulties especially among all the other changes that are happening in adolescence. This workshop will help you to have a better understanding of why our young people are more vulnerable to low mood once they reach adolescence, the warning signs and some evidence based strategies to best support your young person.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting Our Young People with Low Mood - Parent Workshop - YouTube

This workshop explores what resilience is and why it is important for our young people. The sessions focus on five key components to wellbeing and resilience and suggests practical support for our young people in each of these five areas. The workshop pays particular attention to the approaching summer holidays and the opportunities these offer.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Building resilience - managing the next steps - YouTube

Experiencing sleep difficulties at some stage in our lives is common. We know that children and young people can particularly struggle with their sleep. Sleep difficulties are not only frustrating, but they start to impact on our mood and everyday lives.

This sleep workshop is aimed at parents and carers who have children over 11 years old who may be experiencing difficulties with their sleep. The workshop, delivered by the Psychology in Schools Team, covers important topics such as:

why we need sleep

why teenagers may struggle more with this

what you can do to support your young person to have a better night's sleep

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting our Children and Adolescents with Sleep workshop - YouTube

During adolescence, the brain is going through some very big changes - these changes are positive and support our young people to make the transition into adulthood. However, these changes can be confusing and understanding what is happening in the teenage brain is incredibly helpful. This session will explore these brain changes and how they impact on all aspects of our adolescent's life, including mood, behaviour, risk taking and relationships. We will also explore what we can do to strengthen our relationships with our young people and support them through this period of development. With thanks to Dr Hazel Harrison for the brilliant brain house illustration.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Supporting our teenagers with emotions - YouTube

Dr Hope Westgate and Dr Tamara Scully, Clinical Psychologists from NSFT, deliver a workshop for parents on 'supporting children to manage big feelings'. This workshop includes information on children's emotional development and what is happening in their brain when they are experiencing big emotions. It also provides practical and supportive guidance on what are some of the things that parents can do to support their children with the emotions they experience. This workshop is primarily aimed at parents of children who are under 12.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting your child to manage their big feelings - YouTube

Live workshops

You can get information about the latest LIVE workshops by logging into Eventbrite and following the Psychology in Schools team. You will then be notified of upcoming workshops and have a link to book onto these.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.body
NSFT Psychology in Schools Team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

Use the hyperlinks below to find out more about the workshop and get the link to the video on YouTube:

The workshop is designed to explore some of the eating difficulties young people maybe facing at this time, to understand the way food can be used as a coping mechanism in times of stress, to address what a parent/carer can do that is helpful or not helpful, and importantly identify what are the red flags to alert a parent/carer to take action to get help, as well as where to get help. The workshop's focus is on providing easily accessible information in an interactive format which will encourage early intervention and prevention of the escalation of difficulties at this time.

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/93IRgw2VnOs

Life is always unpredictable, but we have been living with a much higher degree of uncertainty over this last year than is usual. This workshop will introduce strategies that parents/carers/professionals can support their young people to help them cope better with uncertainty now and in the years to come. Being able to adapt to situations by learning to tolerate emotions and cope with change reduces stress levels and is a great skill for life. This workshop is suitable for parents/carers of all children struggling in the current pandemic who would like to learn strategies they can teach their children to manage difficult thoughts, feelings, and situations. It is also helpful for professionals who might work with young people.

"What I will take away from tonight's session - Try to take the uncertain path instead of keeping to the safe route was new to me and I think will change my life and make my children's future better. Living life to the full instead of a half life like I feel has been the case".

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/e6sSkYLlll8

This workshop explores how we make sense of what we are all experiencing at the moment. It will consider the most significant challenges posed by the pandemic for both parents and young people (including anxiety and low mood) while also thinking about the most helpful ways to manage these challenges.

"I found your session so helpful as it made me feel that I am not alone as a parent, that we are all going through this together. It made me feel that actually 'I'm doing an ok job' and not to be too hard on myself. I found the biochemistry side of things fascinating and it was exactly the things that are happening with my son. It made me feel reenergised and to 'keep going'."

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/FzUrOntfbnU

This workshop is for parents of school aged children to help them understand anxiety better. The session covers: what is anxiety, why anxiety, how it effects the brain, how it effects the body, how it impacts on what we do and don't do and how parents can support their children/adolescents who might be struggling with anxiety.

"Connection over correction - its very difficult to do this and I often need reminding! ideas to help Children move from reassurance to self-assurance was useful as I'm often exhausted from having to reassure constantly!"

View the video on our YouTube channel: Anxiety in Adolescence - YouTube

All of our young people have days when they feel low, this is perfectly normal. Sometimes this low mood hangs around for a bit longer and starts to make it much more difficult for our young people to do the things that are important to them and have the kind of relationships they want to have with others. For us as parents it can be hard to spot these difficulties especially among all the other changes that are happening in adolescence. This workshop will help you to have a better understanding of why our young people are more vulnerable to low mood once they reach adolescence, the warning signs and some evidence based strategies to best support your young person.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting Our Young People with Low Mood - Parent Workshop - YouTube

This workshop explores what resilience is and why it is important for our young people. The sessions focus on five key components to wellbeing and resilience and suggests practical support for our young people in each of these five areas. The workshop pays particular attention to the approaching summer holidays and the opportunities these offer.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Building resilience - managing the next steps - YouTube

Experiencing sleep difficulties at some stage in our lives is common. We know that children and young people can particularly struggle with their sleep. Sleep difficulties are not only frustrating, but they start to impact on our mood and everyday lives.

This sleep workshop is aimed at parents and carers who have children over 11 years old who may be experiencing difficulties with their sleep. The workshop, delivered by the Psychology in Schools Team, covers important topics such as:

why we need sleep

why teenagers may struggle more with this

what you can do to support your young person to have a better night's sleep

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting our Children and Adolescents with Sleep workshop - YouTube

During adolescence, the brain is going through some very big changes - these changes are positive and support our young people to make the transition into adulthood. However, these changes can be confusing and understanding what is happening in the teenage brain is incredibly helpful. This session will explore these brain changes and how they impact on all aspects of our adolescent's life, including mood, behaviour, risk taking and relationships. We will also explore what we can do to strengthen our relationships with our young people and support them through this period of development. With thanks to Dr Hazel Harrison for the brilliant brain house illustration.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Supporting our teenagers with emotions - YouTube

Dr Hope Westgate and Dr Tamara Scully, Clinical Psychologists from NSFT, deliver a workshop for parents on 'supporting children to manage big feelings'. This workshop includes information on children's emotional development and what is happening in their brain when they are experiencing big emotions. It also provides practical and supportive guidance on what are some of the things that parents can do to support their children with the emotions they experience. This workshop is primarily aimed at parents of children who are under 12.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting your child to manage their big feelings - YouTube

Live workshops

You can get information about the latest LIVE workshops by logging into Eventbrite and following the Psychology in Schools team. You will then be notified of upcoming workshops and have a link to book onto these.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.body
NSFT Psychology in Schools Team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

Use the hyperlinks below to find out more about the workshop and get the link to the video on YouTube:

The workshop is designed to explore some of the eating difficulties young people maybe facing at this time, to understand the way food can be used as a coping mechanism in times of stress, to address what a parent/carer can do that is helpful or not helpful, and importantly identify what are the red flags to alert a parent/carer to take action to get help, as well as where to get help. The workshop's focus is on providing easily accessible information in an interactive format which will encourage early intervention and prevention of the escalation of difficulties at this time.

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/93IRgw2VnOs

Life is always unpredictable, but we have been living with a much higher degree of uncertainty over this last year than is usual. This workshop will introduce strategies that parents/carers/professionals can support their young people to help them cope better with uncertainty now and in the years to come. Being able to adapt to situations by learning to tolerate emotions and cope with change reduces stress levels and is a great skill for life. This workshop is suitable for parents/carers of all children struggling in the current pandemic who would like to learn strategies they can teach their children to manage difficult thoughts, feelings, and situations. It is also helpful for professionals who might work with young people.

"What I will take away from tonight's session - Try to take the uncertain path instead of keeping to the safe route was new to me and I think will change my life and make my children's future better. Living life to the full instead of a half life like I feel has been the case".

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/e6sSkYLlll8

This workshop explores how we make sense of what we are all experiencing at the moment. It will consider the most significant challenges posed by the pandemic for both parents and young people (including anxiety and low mood) while also thinking about the most helpful ways to manage these challenges.

"I found your session so helpful as it made me feel that I am not alone as a parent, that we are all going through this together. It made me feel that actually 'I'm doing an ok job' and not to be too hard on myself. I found the biochemistry side of things fascinating and it was exactly the things that are happening with my son. It made me feel reenergised and to 'keep going'."

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/FzUrOntfbnU

This workshop is for parents of school aged children to help them understand anxiety better. The session covers: what is anxiety, why anxiety, how it effects the brain, how it effects the body, how it impacts on what we do and don't do and how parents can support their children/adolescents who might be struggling with anxiety.

"Connection over correction - its very difficult to do this and I often need reminding! ideas to help Children move from reassurance to self-assurance was useful as I'm often exhausted from having to reassure constantly!"

View the video on our YouTube channel: Anxiety in Adolescence - YouTube

All of our young people have days when they feel low, this is perfectly normal. Sometimes this low mood hangs around for a bit longer and starts to make it much more difficult for our young people to do the things that are important to them and have the kind of relationships they want to have with others. For us as parents it can be hard to spot these difficulties especially among all the other changes that are happening in adolescence. This workshop will help you to have a better understanding of why our young people are more vulnerable to low mood once they reach adolescence, the warning signs and some evidence based strategies to best support your young person.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting Our Young People with Low Mood - Parent Workshop - YouTube

This workshop explores what resilience is and why it is important for our young people. The sessions focus on five key components to wellbeing and resilience and suggests practical support for our young people in each of these five areas. The workshop pays particular attention to the approaching summer holidays and the opportunities these offer.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Building resilience - managing the next steps - YouTube

Experiencing sleep difficulties at some stage in our lives is common. We know that children and young people can particularly struggle with their sleep. Sleep difficulties are not only frustrating, but they start to impact on our mood and everyday lives.

This sleep workshop is aimed at parents and carers who have children over 11 years old who may be experiencing difficulties with their sleep. The workshop, delivered by the Psychology in Schools Team, covers important topics such as:

why we need sleep

why teenagers may struggle more with this

what you can do to support your young person to have a better night's sleep

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting our Children and Adolescents with Sleep workshop - YouTube

During adolescence, the brain is going through some very big changes - these changes are positive and support our young people to make the transition into adulthood. However, these changes can be confusing and understanding what is happening in the teenage brain is incredibly helpful. This session will explore these brain changes and how they impact on all aspects of our adolescent's life, including mood, behaviour, risk taking and relationships. We will also explore what we can do to strengthen our relationships with our young people and support them through this period of development. With thanks to Dr Hazel Harrison for the brilliant brain house illustration.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Supporting our teenagers with emotions - YouTube

Dr Hope Westgate and Dr Tamara Scully, Clinical Psychologists from NSFT, deliver a workshop for parents on 'supporting children to manage big feelings'. This workshop includes information on children's emotional development and what is happening in their brain when they are experiencing big emotions. It also provides practical and supportive guidance on what are some of the things that parents can do to support their children with the emotions they experience. This workshop is primarily aimed at parents of children who are under 12.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting your child to manage their big feelings - YouTube

Live workshops

You can get information about the latest LIVE workshops by logging into Eventbrite and following the Psychology in Schools team. You will then be notified of upcoming workshops and have a link to book onto these.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.body
NSFT Psychology in Schools Team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

Use the hyperlinks below to find out more about the workshop and get the link to the video on YouTube:

The workshop is designed to explore some of the eating difficulties young people maybe facing at this time, to understand the way food can be used as a coping mechanism in times of stress, to address what a parent/carer can do that is helpful or not helpful, and importantly identify what are the red flags to alert a parent/carer to take action to get help, as well as where to get help. The workshop's focus is on providing easily accessible information in an interactive format which will encourage early intervention and prevention of the escalation of difficulties at this time.

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/93IRgw2VnOs

Life is always unpredictable, but we have been living with a much higher degree of uncertainty over this last year than is usual. This workshop will introduce strategies that parents/carers/professionals can support their young people to help them cope better with uncertainty now and in the years to come. Being able to adapt to situations by learning to tolerate emotions and cope with change reduces stress levels and is a great skill for life. This workshop is suitable for parents/carers of all children struggling in the current pandemic who would like to learn strategies they can teach their children to manage difficult thoughts, feelings, and situations. It is also helpful for professionals who might work with young people.

"What I will take away from tonight's session - Try to take the uncertain path instead of keeping to the safe route was new to me and I think will change my life and make my children's future better. Living life to the full instead of a half life like I feel has been the case".

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/e6sSkYLlll8

This workshop explores how we make sense of what we are all experiencing at the moment. It will consider the most significant challenges posed by the pandemic for both parents and young people (including anxiety and low mood) while also thinking about the most helpful ways to manage these challenges.

"I found your session so helpful as it made me feel that I am not alone as a parent, that we are all going through this together. It made me feel that actually 'I'm doing an ok job' and not to be too hard on myself. I found the biochemistry side of things fascinating and it was exactly the things that are happening with my son. It made me feel reenergised and to 'keep going'."

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/FzUrOntfbnU

This workshop is for parents of school aged children to help them understand anxiety better. The session covers: what is anxiety, why anxiety, how it effects the brain, how it effects the body, how it impacts on what we do and don't do and how parents can support their children/adolescents who might be struggling with anxiety.

"Connection over correction - its very difficult to do this and I often need reminding! ideas to help Children move from reassurance to self-assurance was useful as I'm often exhausted from having to reassure constantly!"

View the video on our YouTube channel: Anxiety in Adolescence - YouTube

All of our young people have days when they feel low, this is perfectly normal. Sometimes this low mood hangs around for a bit longer and starts to make it much more difficult for our young people to do the things that are important to them and have the kind of relationships they want to have with others. For us as parents it can be hard to spot these difficulties especially among all the other changes that are happening in adolescence. This workshop will help you to have a better understanding of why our young people are more vulnerable to low mood once they reach adolescence, the warning signs and some evidence based strategies to best support your young person.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting Our Young People with Low Mood - Parent Workshop - YouTube

This workshop explores what resilience is and why it is important for our young people. The sessions focus on five key components to wellbeing and resilience and suggests practical support for our young people in each of these five areas. The workshop pays particular attention to the approaching summer holidays and the opportunities these offer.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Building resilience - managing the next steps - YouTube

Experiencing sleep difficulties at some stage in our lives is common. We know that children and young people can particularly struggle with their sleep. Sleep difficulties are not only frustrating, but they start to impact on our mood and everyday lives.

This sleep workshop is aimed at parents and carers who have children over 11 years old who may be experiencing difficulties with their sleep. The workshop, delivered by the Psychology in Schools Team, covers important topics such as:

why we need sleep

why teenagers may struggle more with this

what you can do to support your young person to have a better night's sleep

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting our Children and Adolescents with Sleep workshop - YouTube

During adolescence, the brain is going through some very big changes - these changes are positive and support our young people to make the transition into adulthood. However, these changes can be confusing and understanding what is happening in the teenage brain is incredibly helpful. This session will explore these brain changes and how they impact on all aspects of our adolescent's life, including mood, behaviour, risk taking and relationships. We will also explore what we can do to strengthen our relationships with our young people and support them through this period of development. With thanks to Dr Hazel Harrison for the brilliant brain house illustration.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Supporting our teenagers with emotions - YouTube

Dr Hope Westgate and Dr Tamara Scully, Clinical Psychologists from NSFT, deliver a workshop for parents on 'supporting children to manage big feelings'. This workshop includes information on children's emotional development and what is happening in their brain when they are experiencing big emotions. It also provides practical and supportive guidance on what are some of the things that parents can do to support their children with the emotions they experience. This workshop is primarily aimed at parents of children who are under 12.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting your child to manage their big feelings - YouTube

Live workshops

You can get information about the latest LIVE workshops by logging into Eventbrite and following the Psychology in Schools team. You will then be notified of upcoming workshops and have a link to book onto these.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.body
NSFT Psychology in Schools Team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

Use the hyperlinks below to find out more about the workshop and get the link to the video on YouTube:

The workshop is designed to explore some of the eating difficulties young people maybe facing at this time, to understand the way food can be used as a coping mechanism in times of stress, to address what a parent/carer can do that is helpful or not helpful, and importantly identify what are the red flags to alert a parent/carer to take action to get help, as well as where to get help. The workshop's focus is on providing easily accessible information in an interactive format which will encourage early intervention and prevention of the escalation of difficulties at this time.

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/93IRgw2VnOs

Life is always unpredictable, but we have been living with a much higher degree of uncertainty over this last year than is usual. This workshop will introduce strategies that parents/carers/professionals can support their young people to help them cope better with uncertainty now and in the years to come. Being able to adapt to situations by learning to tolerate emotions and cope with change reduces stress levels and is a great skill for life. This workshop is suitable for parents/carers of all children struggling in the current pandemic who would like to learn strategies they can teach their children to manage difficult thoughts, feelings, and situations. It is also helpful for professionals who might work with young people.

"What I will take away from tonight's session - Try to take the uncertain path instead of keeping to the safe route was new to me and I think will change my life and make my children's future better. Living life to the full instead of a half life like I feel has been the case".

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/e6sSkYLlll8

This workshop explores how we make sense of what we are all experiencing at the moment. It will consider the most significant challenges posed by the pandemic for both parents and young people (including anxiety and low mood) while also thinking about the most helpful ways to manage these challenges.

"I found your session so helpful as it made me feel that I am not alone as a parent, that we are all going through this together. It made me feel that actually 'I'm doing an ok job' and not to be too hard on myself. I found the biochemistry side of things fascinating and it was exactly the things that are happening with my son. It made me feel reenergised and to 'keep going'."

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/FzUrOntfbnU

This workshop is for parents of school aged children to help them understand anxiety better. The session covers: what is anxiety, why anxiety, how it effects the brain, how it effects the body, how it impacts on what we do and don't do and how parents can support their children/adolescents who might be struggling with anxiety.

"Connection over correction - its very difficult to do this and I often need reminding! ideas to help Children move from reassurance to self-assurance was useful as I'm often exhausted from having to reassure constantly!"

View the video on our YouTube channel: Anxiety in Adolescence - YouTube

All of our young people have days when they feel low, this is perfectly normal. Sometimes this low mood hangs around for a bit longer and starts to make it much more difficult for our young people to do the things that are important to them and have the kind of relationships they want to have with others. For us as parents it can be hard to spot these difficulties especially among all the other changes that are happening in adolescence. This workshop will help you to have a better understanding of why our young people are more vulnerable to low mood once they reach adolescence, the warning signs and some evidence based strategies to best support your young person.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting Our Young People with Low Mood - Parent Workshop - YouTube

This workshop explores what resilience is and why it is important for our young people. The sessions focus on five key components to wellbeing and resilience and suggests practical support for our young people in each of these five areas. The workshop pays particular attention to the approaching summer holidays and the opportunities these offer.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Building resilience - managing the next steps - YouTube

Experiencing sleep difficulties at some stage in our lives is common. We know that children and young people can particularly struggle with their sleep. Sleep difficulties are not only frustrating, but they start to impact on our mood and everyday lives.

This sleep workshop is aimed at parents and carers who have children over 11 years old who may be experiencing difficulties with their sleep. The workshop, delivered by the Psychology in Schools Team, covers important topics such as:

why we need sleep

why teenagers may struggle more with this

what you can do to support your young person to have a better night's sleep

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting our Children and Adolescents with Sleep workshop - YouTube

During adolescence, the brain is going through some very big changes - these changes are positive and support our young people to make the transition into adulthood. However, these changes can be confusing and understanding what is happening in the teenage brain is incredibly helpful. This session will explore these brain changes and how they impact on all aspects of our adolescent's life, including mood, behaviour, risk taking and relationships. We will also explore what we can do to strengthen our relationships with our young people and support them through this period of development. With thanks to Dr Hazel Harrison for the brilliant brain house illustration.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Supporting our teenagers with emotions - YouTube

Dr Hope Westgate and Dr Tamara Scully, Clinical Psychologists from NSFT, deliver a workshop for parents on 'supporting children to manage big feelings'. This workshop includes information on children's emotional development and what is happening in their brain when they are experiencing big emotions. It also provides practical and supportive guidance on what are some of the things that parents can do to support their children with the emotions they experience. This workshop is primarily aimed at parents of children who are under 12.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting your child to manage their big feelings - YouTube

Live workshops

You can get information about the latest LIVE workshops by logging into Eventbrite and following the Psychology in Schools team. You will then be notified of upcoming workshops and have a link to book onto these.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.body
NSFT Psychology in Schools Team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

Use the hyperlinks below to find out more about the workshop and get the link to the video on YouTube:

The workshop is designed to explore some of the eating difficulties young people maybe facing at this time, to understand the way food can be used as a coping mechanism in times of stress, to address what a parent/carer can do that is helpful or not helpful, and importantly identify what are the red flags to alert a parent/carer to take action to get help, as well as where to get help. The workshop's focus is on providing easily accessible information in an interactive format which will encourage early intervention and prevention of the escalation of difficulties at this time.

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/93IRgw2VnOs

Life is always unpredictable, but we have been living with a much higher degree of uncertainty over this last year than is usual. This workshop will introduce strategies that parents/carers/professionals can support their young people to help them cope better with uncertainty now and in the years to come. Being able to adapt to situations by learning to tolerate emotions and cope with change reduces stress levels and is a great skill for life. This workshop is suitable for parents/carers of all children struggling in the current pandemic who would like to learn strategies they can teach their children to manage difficult thoughts, feelings, and situations. It is also helpful for professionals who might work with young people.

"What I will take away from tonight's session - Try to take the uncertain path instead of keeping to the safe route was new to me and I think will change my life and make my children's future better. Living life to the full instead of a half life like I feel has been the case".

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/e6sSkYLlll8

This workshop explores how we make sense of what we are all experiencing at the moment. It will consider the most significant challenges posed by the pandemic for both parents and young people (including anxiety and low mood) while also thinking about the most helpful ways to manage these challenges.

"I found your session so helpful as it made me feel that I am not alone as a parent, that we are all going through this together. It made me feel that actually 'I'm doing an ok job' and not to be too hard on myself. I found the biochemistry side of things fascinating and it was exactly the things that are happening with my son. It made me feel reenergised and to 'keep going'."

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/FzUrOntfbnU

This workshop is for parents of school aged children to help them understand anxiety better. The session covers: what is anxiety, why anxiety, how it effects the brain, how it effects the body, how it impacts on what we do and don't do and how parents can support their children/adolescents who might be struggling with anxiety.

"Connection over correction - its very difficult to do this and I often need reminding! ideas to help Children move from reassurance to self-assurance was useful as I'm often exhausted from having to reassure constantly!"

View the video on our YouTube channel: Anxiety in Adolescence - YouTube

All of our young people have days when they feel low, this is perfectly normal. Sometimes this low mood hangs around for a bit longer and starts to make it much more difficult for our young people to do the things that are important to them and have the kind of relationships they want to have with others. For us as parents it can be hard to spot these difficulties especially among all the other changes that are happening in adolescence. This workshop will help you to have a better understanding of why our young people are more vulnerable to low mood once they reach adolescence, the warning signs and some evidence based strategies to best support your young person.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting Our Young People with Low Mood - Parent Workshop - YouTube

This workshop explores what resilience is and why it is important for our young people. The sessions focus on five key components to wellbeing and resilience and suggests practical support for our young people in each of these five areas. The workshop pays particular attention to the approaching summer holidays and the opportunities these offer.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Building resilience - managing the next steps - YouTube

Experiencing sleep difficulties at some stage in our lives is common. We know that children and young people can particularly struggle with their sleep. Sleep difficulties are not only frustrating, but they start to impact on our mood and everyday lives.

This sleep workshop is aimed at parents and carers who have children over 11 years old who may be experiencing difficulties with their sleep. The workshop, delivered by the Psychology in Schools Team, covers important topics such as:

why we need sleep

why teenagers may struggle more with this

what you can do to support your young person to have a better night's sleep

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting our Children and Adolescents with Sleep workshop - YouTube

During adolescence, the brain is going through some very big changes - these changes are positive and support our young people to make the transition into adulthood. However, these changes can be confusing and understanding what is happening in the teenage brain is incredibly helpful. This session will explore these brain changes and how they impact on all aspects of our adolescent's life, including mood, behaviour, risk taking and relationships. We will also explore what we can do to strengthen our relationships with our young people and support them through this period of development. With thanks to Dr Hazel Harrison for the brilliant brain house illustration.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Supporting our teenagers with emotions - YouTube

Dr Hope Westgate and Dr Tamara Scully, Clinical Psychologists from NSFT, deliver a workshop for parents on 'supporting children to manage big feelings'. This workshop includes information on children's emotional development and what is happening in their brain when they are experiencing big emotions. It also provides practical and supportive guidance on what are some of the things that parents can do to support their children with the emotions they experience. This workshop is primarily aimed at parents of children who are under 12.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting your child to manage their big feelings - YouTube

Live workshops

You can get information about the latest LIVE workshops by logging into Eventbrite and following the Psychology in Schools team. You will then be notified of upcoming workshops and have a link to book onto these.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.body
NSFT Psychology in Schools Team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

Use the hyperlinks below to find out more about the workshop and get the link to the video on YouTube:

The workshop is designed to explore some of the eating difficulties young people maybe facing at this time, to understand the way food can be used as a coping mechanism in times of stress, to address what a parent/carer can do that is helpful or not helpful, and importantly identify what are the red flags to alert a parent/carer to take action to get help, as well as where to get help. The workshop's focus is on providing easily accessible information in an interactive format which will encourage early intervention and prevention of the escalation of difficulties at this time.

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/93IRgw2VnOs

Life is always unpredictable, but we have been living with a much higher degree of uncertainty over this last year than is usual. This workshop will introduce strategies that parents/carers/professionals can support their young people to help them cope better with uncertainty now and in the years to come. Being able to adapt to situations by learning to tolerate emotions and cope with change reduces stress levels and is a great skill for life. This workshop is suitable for parents/carers of all children struggling in the current pandemic who would like to learn strategies they can teach their children to manage difficult thoughts, feelings, and situations. It is also helpful for professionals who might work with young people.

"What I will take away from tonight's session - Try to take the uncertain path instead of keeping to the safe route was new to me and I think will change my life and make my children's future better. Living life to the full instead of a half life like I feel has been the case".

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/e6sSkYLlll8

This workshop explores how we make sense of what we are all experiencing at the moment. It will consider the most significant challenges posed by the pandemic for both parents and young people (including anxiety and low mood) while also thinking about the most helpful ways to manage these challenges.

"I found your session so helpful as it made me feel that I am not alone as a parent, that we are all going through this together. It made me feel that actually 'I'm doing an ok job' and not to be too hard on myself. I found the biochemistry side of things fascinating and it was exactly the things that are happening with my son. It made me feel reenergised and to 'keep going'."

View the video on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/FzUrOntfbnU

This workshop is for parents of school aged children to help them understand anxiety better. The session covers: what is anxiety, why anxiety, how it effects the brain, how it effects the body, how it impacts on what we do and don't do and how parents can support their children/adolescents who might be struggling with anxiety.

"Connection over correction - its very difficult to do this and I often need reminding! ideas to help Children move from reassurance to self-assurance was useful as I'm often exhausted from having to reassure constantly!"

View the video on our YouTube channel: Anxiety in Adolescence - YouTube

All of our young people have days when they feel low, this is perfectly normal. Sometimes this low mood hangs around for a bit longer and starts to make it much more difficult for our young people to do the things that are important to them and have the kind of relationships they want to have with others. For us as parents it can be hard to spot these difficulties especially among all the other changes that are happening in adolescence. This workshop will help you to have a better understanding of why our young people are more vulnerable to low mood once they reach adolescence, the warning signs and some evidence based strategies to best support your young person.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting Our Young People with Low Mood - Parent Workshop - YouTube

This workshop explores what resilience is and why it is important for our young people. The sessions focus on five key components to wellbeing and resilience and suggests practical support for our young people in each of these five areas. The workshop pays particular attention to the approaching summer holidays and the opportunities these offer.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Building resilience - managing the next steps - YouTube

Experiencing sleep difficulties at some stage in our lives is common. We know that children and young people can particularly struggle with their sleep. Sleep difficulties are not only frustrating, but they start to impact on our mood and everyday lives.

This sleep workshop is aimed at parents and carers who have children over 11 years old who may be experiencing difficulties with their sleep. The workshop, delivered by the Psychology in Schools Team, covers important topics such as:

why we need sleep

why teenagers may struggle more with this

what you can do to support your young person to have a better night's sleep

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting our Children and Adolescents with Sleep workshop - YouTube

During adolescence, the brain is going through some very big changes - these changes are positive and support our young people to make the transition into adulthood. However, these changes can be confusing and understanding what is happening in the teenage brain is incredibly helpful. This session will explore these brain changes and how they impact on all aspects of our adolescent's life, including mood, behaviour, risk taking and relationships. We will also explore what we can do to strengthen our relationships with our young people and support them through this period of development. With thanks to Dr Hazel Harrison for the brilliant brain house illustration.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Parent workshop: Supporting our teenagers with emotions - YouTube

Dr Hope Westgate and Dr Tamara Scully, Clinical Psychologists from NSFT, deliver a workshop for parents on 'supporting children to manage big feelings'. This workshop includes information on children's emotional development and what is happening in their brain when they are experiencing big emotions. It also provides practical and supportive guidance on what are some of the things that parents can do to support their children with the emotions they experience. This workshop is primarily aimed at parents of children who are under 12.

View the video on our YouTube channel: Supporting your child to manage their big feelings - YouTube

Live workshops

You can get information about the latest LIVE workshops by logging into Eventbrite and following the Psychology in Schools team. You will then be notified of upcoming workshops and have a link to book onto these.

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Our psychology in schools team run a program of parent workshops throughout the year to provide up to date advice and guidance on how parents and carers can support the young people in their life. All the workshops are recorded for you to watch at any time.

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Emotionally Based School Avoidance Information

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Emotionally Based School Avoidance Information

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This webpage is designed to help parents/carers to support children who have concerns about going to school, known as Emotionally Based School Avoidance.

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Parents/ Carers EBSA Guidance | Support Services for Education

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This webpage is designed to help parents/carers to support children who have concerns about going to school, known as Emotional Based School Avoidance.

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Emotionally Based School Avoidance Guide for Parents

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Emotionally Based School Avoidance Guide for Parents

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The UK Trauma Council (UKTC) creates evidence-based resources to improve professionals and carers’ understanding of the nature and impact of trauma. We aim to better equip all those supporting children and young people exposed to trauma.

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Learn from the experts at our free webinar Childhood Trauma, War and Conflict taking place 4th December. Register now!

More than one in three children and young people are exposed to at least one potentially traumatic event by age 18.¹ The right support can make a substantial difference to the extent that traumatic events impact on their lives.

The UK Trauma Council (UKTC) creates evidence-based resources to improve professionals and carers' understanding of the nature and impact of trauma. We aim to better equip all those supporting children and young people exposed to trauma.

¹Reference: Lewis, S. J., Arseneault, L., Caspi, A., Fisher, H. L., Matthews, T., Moffitt, T. E., Odgers, C. L., Stahl, D., Teng, J. Y., & Danese, A. (2019). The epidemiology of trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder in a representative cohort of young people in England and Wales. The Lancet Psychiatry, 6(3), 247-256.

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Creating a world that nurtures and protects children and young people following trauma

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The UK Trauma Council's mission is to radically improve the help children and young people receive across the UK following traumatic events and experiences.

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These are the people that may work with your child if their school seeks support from us.

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Family hubs can provide information, advice, and guidance to families as soon as there is a worry. We can help any family with a child or young person up to 19-years-old (25 for young people with a special educational need and/or disability).

For more information about services in your local area contact your nearest Family Hub.

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Contact Family Hubs - Norfolk County Council

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We are here to help families. You can visit a family hub or contact us online

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We champion a world where being different is something to be celebrated and where all autistic learners experience a positive education that supports their well-being.

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Since 2016, this group of young people, ages 15-25, have shared their voices and lived experiences to steer, influence and advise the work we do. As well as advising on AET materials and strategy, Panel members speak at events, co-deliver training and support autism education networks.

Find out how this group of young people are supporting, co-producing and advising the AET.

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Helping you support autistic children and young people since 2007

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We stand with autistic children and young people, champion their rights and create opportunities.

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Ambitious about Autism is the national charity for autistic children and young people. We stand with autistic children, young people and their families to champion rights, campaign for change and create opportunities.

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Children show us how they are feeling in the way they behave. The reasons might be more obvious at some times than others. It is affected by age, understanding, experiences and personality.

Behaviour is a way of communicating. It can take time to work out what children are trying to tell us.

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Here at Just One Norfolk, we understand how much sleep and behaviour play a role in the development of children and young people. Read more about this here.

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Positive Behaviour Strategies (PBS) is a programme for families of children produced by our partners in Norfolk Community Health and Care and Family Action.

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Norfolk Positive Behaviour Strategies (PBS)

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Here at Just One Norfolk, we understand how much sleep and behaviour play a role in the development of children and young people. Read more about this here.

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TITAN (Travel Independence Training across Norfolk)

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TITAN (Travel Independence Training across Norfolk)

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We understand the role that parents and carers play in making travel training a success for young people. Your involvement and support is crucial for their development.

We offer a range of opportunities for young people aged 10 (Year 6) to 25, both in school and the community, supporting effective transition to travelling independently.

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We understand the role that parents and carers play in making travel training a success for young people. Your involvement and support is crucial for their development.

Here are some quick and easy things that you can do to help:

We've designed the resources below to support you. They'll give you ideas to encourage your young person to improve their knowledge or prepare for further training from the TITAN team.

You can also use them individually to work on skills that may help your young person or use them all together in the recommended order.

Learning to become more independent can be an anxious time, so cover as much as you feel comfortable with.

Don't try and cover everything all in one go. Break each factsheet down in a way that works for your young person and you. Remember, small steps make big changes!

Contact us

We'd love to hear from you. If you need more information or just want to let us know how you are getting on, you can email us at titan@norfolk.gov.uk.

Help to support your child's travel training

Pedestrian skills

Most of us use pedestrian skills on a regular basis. Your own good practice will help start to embed good skills for your son or daughter. Brush up on your own skills and practice together as much as you can.

Communication skills

Every day you communicate with your son or daughter in different ways. This is an ideal way to embed skills that will be useful when traveling independently.

Focus on how you want to communicate when they are independent and how often.

Personal health, safety and wellbeing

It's important to develop your son or daughter's awareness of their personal safety, health and wellbeing. This will prepare them for independent travel.

The more you discuss and rehearse scenarios with them, the more confident they'll be in managing their anxiety and ability to be a safe traveller.

Problem solving

The ability to solve problems is an important life skill for young people. You can help your son or daughter develop these skills by using them at home.

Practise simple problems that happen in everyday life, then talk about what problems might arise when travelling. This way they're ready for any challenge!

Journey planning

We've provided some advice for you on how to develop your son or daughter's journey planning skills. This is in preparation for them travelling independently to a new school or post-16 education establishment. Talk through the different elements and take time to practice whenever possible.

Journey practice

Every journey you take with your son or daughter is an opportunity to embed independent travel skills.

Use journeys to practise all kinds of skills, from planning to learning landmarks. Also, taking time to regularly practice part or all of their new journey will help embed their independent travel skills. Remember, small steps make big changes!

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Parent and carer resources - Norfolk County Council

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Tips, factsheets and useful links to help you boost your child's travel skills

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PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide HOPELINE247

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PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide HOPELINE247

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PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide is the UK charity dedicated to the prevention of suicide and the promotion of positive mental health and emotional wellbeing in young people. For confidential suicide prevention advice contact HOPELINE247.

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HOPELINE247 advisers want to work with you to understand why thoughts of suicide might be present. They also want to provide you with a safe space to talk through anything happening in your life that could be impacting on your or anyone else's ability to stay safe.

For children and young people under the age of 35 who are experiencing thoughts of suicide

For anyone concerned that a young person could be thinking about suicide

Young people

Our advisers are all trained to help you focus on staying safe from suicide. Their training enables them to provide advice and support that may help you to move forward and stay alive.

Concerned others

If you are concerned that a young person is feeling suicidal, advisers can support you to start a conversation about suicide and explore options of how best to support them.

Contact HOPELINE247

If you are having thoughts of suicide or are concerned for a young person who might be you can contact HOPELINE247 for confidential support and practical advice.

Opening hours:

Line are open 24 hours every day of the year (Weekends and Bank Holidays included)

Our Suicide prevention advisers are ready to support you.

Who can PAPYRUS HOPELINE247 help?

Young people, children, family, parents, siblings, partners, carers, grandparents

Concerned friends: at work, in school, college, university

GPs, nurses, teachers, school nurses, A&E staff, pastoral staff

Mental health professionals: CAMHS staff, CPNs, psychiatrists

Education staff: teachers, lecturers, learning mentors, education social workers

Police, ambulance staff, prison staff, drug and alcohol services, probation workers

Feedback from HOPELINE247 users

"I've just searched online to find the service, this is the best advice I've had, and I'm talking about doctors and health professionals. Do you know nobody has just asked me to talk to him; it's really strange when you think about it - so thank you."

"Thank you for helping me - no-one has ever helped me this much before."

"The people at HOPELINE247 are great - I feel understood."

Further help and advice

This page is for information on the PAPYRUS HOPELINE247 service - visit our HOPELINE247 FAQ section for more information about using the service. For further help and advice, including a full list of resources, visit our help and advice resources page.

We understand that not all callers will be able to, or would prefer not to, speak English. You can still access support by requesting Language Line when calling HOPELINE247. Learn more about this service HERE.

Policies
Confidentiality Policy Remit of service policy

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HOPELINE247 | Papyrus UK | Suicide Prevention Charity

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Are you having thoughts of suicide or are concerned for someone who feels suicidal? Then contact HOPELINE247 for free confidential support on 0800 068 4141.

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TouchBase is a community interest organisation, working on a not for profit basis. We support children, young people and young adults to recover well from adverse childhood experiences, so that they can live life well at home, school, work and out and about within their local communities.

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Restoring dignity in children and young people who have experienced relational trauma and losses.

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TouchBase is a community interest organisation, working on a not for profit basis. We support children, young people and young adults.

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Beacon House is a specialist, innovative and creative therapeutic service for young people, families and adults. Beacon House is passionate about developing freely available resources so that knowledge about the healing of trauma and adversity is in the hands of those who need it.

Please feel free to use our resources in your home or work setting.

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Beacon House is passionate about developing freely available resources so that knowledge about the repair of trauma and adversity is in the hands of those who need it. Please feel free to use our resources in your home or work setting.
All we ask is that you credit our team for the information and design using this credit: Image or information courtesy of Beacon House Therapeutic Services & Trauma Team | 2022 | www.beaconhouse.org.uk
As a specialist trauma service, our resources are written using a 'trauma lens' and offer information, ideas and strategies from this perspective. We know that there are other perspectives and overlapping experiences, meaning that 'one size doesn't fit all'. We are working to be as inclusive as possible and alongside this acknowledge that not everything we produce will be relevant for everyone.

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Beacon House is passionate about developing freely available resources so that knowledge about the repair of trauma and adversity is in the hands of those who need it. Please feel free to use our resources in your home or work setting.

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Mental health is on a spectrum – we can be ill and struggling and well and functioning. It constantly changes which can be exhausting, but it’s also a reminder that things will change for the better again.

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Whether it’s you needing support, someone in your family, a friend or a work colleague, we are here for you.

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We’re Norfolk and Waveney Mind, the mental health charity that believes no one should have to face a mental health problem alone.

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you are not able to speak to your local NHS urgent mental health helpline

you need help urgently for your mental health, but it's not an emergency

you're not sure what to do

111 will tell you the right place to get help if you need to see someone.

You may be able to speak to a nurse, or mental health nurse, over the phone.

A GP can advise you about helpful treatments and also help you access mental health services. You may be able to refer yourself to some services.

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Where to get urgent help for mental health

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You may need urgent help for mental health for many different reasons. Some people call it a crisis, an emergency or a breakdown. It's important to know that support is available, whatever you're going through.

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Referrals to our MHST service come via schools and colleges. To find out if our team is linked to your child's school or college please speak to the school's mental health lead, pastoral team or head teacher.

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Mental Health Support Teams (MHST) In Schools

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Read here for the services we at Just One Norfolk offer children and young people in the Norfolk community, such as our health and school services.

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Mild to Moderate Mental Health Referrals

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Mild to Moderate Mental Health Referrals

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Online referral for 0 - 25 year olds.

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Support for Mild to Moderate Mental Health Needs

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From 1st April 2023 all referrals for mild to moderate mental health support for 0-25 year olds across Norfolk & Waveney will be processed by Just One Number.

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Separation Anxiety is how we describe the feelings some children have when they are apart from those who make them feel safest – often their parents or carers. Most babies and children will find separation hard at times.

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Babies & Toddlers Pre-Schoolers Younger Children Older Children & Teens

Babies & Toddlers

You are the centre of your baby's world. They rely on you for everything. In the early months you have responded to all of their needs and made them feel safe and secure. It is not surprising that when they begin to understand that you could leave them behind, they feel worried and upset if you are out of sight.

Help them begin to feel confident by building up from very short moments when they can't see you. Games like peek-a-boo are good early ways of showing your baby you always come back.

Supporting Separation

Help your baby practice being apart from you at home first;

Always tell your baby if you are leaving the room 'Daddy is just going in the kitchen to get your drink - I'll be right back.'

If your baby cries for you - let them hear your voice. 'Daddy is coming I'm getting your drink.'

When you come back in the room say 'Here I am - Daddy is back - you are fine.' Then distract your baby with their toys.

Once your baby is mobile they will probably follow you. Let them do this when they can do so safely; it will help them realise that you don't 'disappear' when you are out of sight.

Leaving Your Child With Others

Your baby might have to be left with other family and friends, childminders or at nursery. If you know this is going to happen build up to it. It is important that the number of different people who look after your baby is kept as low as possible and your child has had the chance to meet them.
When you first leave them with family or friends, it should be;

With someone they know.

In a familiar place and / or with familiar things.

For as short a time as possible. Always say goodbye (but keep it short and sweet) and always say hello when you return.

Always leave a contact number if you are leaving the house.

If your baby is really upset go back to them - you can try again another time soon.

Nurseries and childminders should be able to guide you on their policies to help your child get used to them, settle in and adjust to spending time there without you.

Be careful that you do not pass on your own anxieties. Your baby will pick up on your feelings and so it is important that you seem confident and give them the message this is going to be fine.

If you are feeling worried talk to friends and family to get support or you can join our online local parent community below. People who have been through this with their own children will remember how hard it can be to begin with.

Children go through lots of developmental change and new experiences as they grow up. This can make them feel uncertain sometimes and they will look to you to help them feel safe and secure.

If your child seems to be clingy and / or get distressed when you are not close by have a think about what is going on for them.

It might be something obvious like starting nursery or a new baby in the family. It could be something less obvious like picking up on arguments and bad feelings in the home or changes in routines.

Your child might be showing that they need extra time being close to you. Try and spend some time together. This could just mean more cuddles and story time, or a walk to the shop where you concentrate on each other.

Your child might struggle at particular times. Some children may find being left at nursery or playgroup hard. This can be upsetting for you both.

Read stories about children going to nursery. Talk to them about the characters and how they might feel. Point out the teacher caring for the children and the parent coming back.

Allow plenty of time for drop off, and always be there at the time you said you would be to collect them.

Let your child take along a loved teddy/ blanket or something of yours like a scarf or a jumper - something that helps them keep their connection with you and with home.

Let nursery know they are struggling - they can help you with saying goodbye and comfort your little one until they feel better. They will have seen this before.

Keep going - give them comfort and let them know you understand they are finding it hard. Show that you believe they can do it. Given time most children settle and feel confident that you will be back soon and can enjoy their time at nursery.

Younger Children

Starting school is a big step for children and their families. Most children will have some days when they are not keen to go. For some the early weeks and months at school can be really tough, as they adjust to new people and experiences.

Preparing your child for starting school can help them feel more confident about what to expect.
You can help your child settle by;

Letting them see the school on open days (or look online when this can't happen). Walk around the outside. Practice the walk to school.

Talking about the routine of the school day so they know when you will be there to collect them.

Having a short but 'special' goodbye and the same for 'hello' at the end of the day. It might mean a funny handshake or it could be a rhyme or special words you say to each other. These routines can help your child feel secure and build confidence that you go - but also come back.

A teddy in your pockets can help too - you have small teddy and so does your child. Agree to swap and look after each other's teddy for the time you are apart. It gives another message that you will be back for them (and your teddy).

Practice relaxation techniques they can use when they feel stressed and worried.

Talk to school if you think your child might struggle. They are used to giving extra support to children.

Build in time to just be with them after school and at weekends. Encourage them to talk about their day and their feelings.
Read more about getting school ready
Ongoing Worries

Even if children have just settled in or have been attending school for a long time, there may still be spells when the distress at being left comes back. If this happens talk to your child and school to see what might have triggered this. Think about any changes that have happened in their home life that might have unsettled them.

Children might worry about things that happen in the school day or that something bad could happen to you whilst you are apart.

Try not to get frustrated or annoyed by your child's need to be with you. Even though it might be difficult to understand why they are struggling. It is hard for them and they cannot help it. It will pass in time. Get support for yourself from friends and family.

Older Children & Teens

For many children separation anxiety mostly disappears as they get older. For some older children and teenagers it continues to be something they find hard, or becomes difficult for the first time. This can be for all sorts of reasons.

Young people can find this difficult as developmentally they are beginning to want to be with friends more and do things more independently. Separation anxiety can get in the way of what they would like to be doing.

Signs of Separation Anxiety

Your child might show they have separation anxiety in slightly different ways as they get older.

They might have pains and illnesses on schooldays.

Avoid or cancel meeting up with friends/ going on sleepovers/ school trips even things that they had been looking forward to.

Worry a lot about 'bad things happening' to you and others they care about.

It is a really tough age to struggle with separation anxiety. It gets in the way of being able to enjoy school or to be with friends.

Talk to your child about what you have noticed. Being able to tell you about their worries will help. Try not to dismiss how they feel and tell them it is 'silly'. The anxiety is real to them and it is important they know their feelings count.

Using relaxation techniques will help - the feelings of anxiety are often very physical, having ways to manage this can really help your child take back some control from their worries.

Encourage them to try and 'challenge the worry'.

Supporting Separation Anxiety

Avoiding the thing that makes them anxious might make it feel better in the moment. But It will not prove to your child that their worry is not a fact. This can mean the anxiety keeps holding them back.

It is not easy but doing the thing they are worried about can show them that they can do it. It shows them nothing bad will happen. It will be hard at first but if they keep trying it will get easier over time.

Help them make a plan to give time apart a try. It will help them feel more in control. For example if they are invited to meet a friend they could;

Start with a short time to begin with.

Know that they can call you if they need to be reassured.

Come back earlier if they need to. Prepare an excuse in advance so they don't have to feel embarrassed.

Trying to challenge the anxiety is the important thing but it can take time to reach their goal. Praise them for this and get them to see the progress they make even if it is slow.

If school attendance is a problem talk to school as soon as you can; they will be able to offer support to you and your child.

Some young people will need extra help to overcome their separation anxiety. Getting help can make all the difference. It can mean they can enjoy school life and being with friends.

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Visit us today at Just One Norfolk for advice on supporting the emotional health of children and young people in your care - from anxiety to development.

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Just One Norfolk Supporting Children's Mental Health

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Just One Norfolk Supporting Children's Mental Health

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Mental health is the way children think and feel about themselves and the world around them. Your child’s mental health is just as important as their physical health, particularly when it comes to dealing with stress, behaviour, and their school life.

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Top Tips Emotions Managing Our Emotions The Traps We Fall Into Advice

Top Tips

There are lots of ways you can support your child's mental wellbeing.

Listen

It's good to ask how your child is doing whether you are worried about them or not. This will help them get used to talking about their feelings and they will know that you are there to listen if they ever want you to.

Starting a conversation with your child can be tricky.
Read more about starting conversations
Stay involved

It's good to show an interest in your child's life and the things that are important to them. It will help them to value who they are and it will also help you to spot any problems so you can offer support if needed.

Take what they say seriously

Listen and value what your child tells you and try not to judge their feelings. Think about how to help your child work through their emotions.

If your child is worried you might find this support guide helpful.

Support them through difficulties

Pay attention to your child's behaviour and emotions and try to help them work through any difficulties. You might be able to help them to understand what they are feeling and why.

It can be hard to know how to offer support when faced with challenging behaviour. There is lots of helpful guidance available.

Encourage their interests

Support and encourage your child to explore their interests, whatever they are.

Being active or creative, learning new things and being part of a team can really help children's mental health.

Build positive routines

A good nights sleep is really important so try to get your child into a routine which fits in with school or college. It's not always easy, but try to introduce structure around regular routines, healthy eating and exercise.
Read more about sleep for older children

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Visit us today at Just One Norfolk for advice on supporting the emotional health of children and young people in your care - from anxiety to development.

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When children or young people experience an unexpected scary or stressful event it can upset them for a few weeks after the actual event. They might feel angry, sad, guilty, confused or anxious and you may notice a change in your child as a result.

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When children and young people experience a scary or stressful event it can upset them for a long time after the event has happened, even though the danger has passed. They may feel angry, sad, guilty, confused or anxious.

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Worry is the word we use when we are thinking and stressing about something in particular – like starting a new school. Anxiety can go hand in hand with worry and describes the feelings that can come along with it. Sometimes we can feel anxious without knowing the reason why.

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New experiences / being away from parents

Arguments in families

Worries about money

Making friends / fitting in

Being bullied

Being ill or someone in the family being ill

Dangers in the world.

How Does It Feel?

When people are anxious they might notice they have;

A fast heart beat and / or be breathless & shaky

Irritability / angry outbursts

Restlessness and/or poor sleep

Poor appetite

Tummy aches

A frightened feeling all the time - not wanting to do things or go places.

When these feelings come all together, it might seem like they have taken over the whole body - this is known as a panic attack.

It is not easy to see your child struggling in this way - as a parent or carer you can really help your child manage these difficult feelings.

How Can I Help My Child?

Whatever the age of the child who is suffering with worry and anxiety; we can learn ways to make it feel more manageable.

Learning these coping skills as a child is especially useful; they will be able to rely on them during any tough times. Having these coping skills makes us resilient. It is never too late to develop these skills for ourselves as parents, and this sets a good example for our children.

Being able to listen to your child's worries and anxieties is really important.

When your child is telling you they are having a hard time the first thing you will want to do is 'fix' it. This can sometimes get in the way of really hearing what it is like for your child. Then they will not get the chance to say exactly what they mean, and how they feel.

It can get in the way of you helping your child come up with a plan of what they can do to improve things. It is important to help your child feel more in control; worries and anxieties make us feel out of control.

Concentrate on what your child is saying. Turn off your phone / TV. Sit close and give them time. If you really can't listen that moment - make a deal with your child to do so very soon - and stick to it.

Let your child talk. Try not to interrupt with your own point of view. Show you're listening by making comments on what they are saying - use 'feeling' words;

'That sounds scary'

'That must have been a shock'

'I wonder if you felt sad about that?'

Check that you heard them right.

'So, I think you're saying that you worry something bad will happen when you walk to school on your own - is that right?'

You don't have to know the answer there and then. You can even tell your child you are going to give it some thought / find some things out and talk about it again after tea / tomorrow.

Listening to your child and giving them the chance to explain what they feel can make a big difference and help stop the worry feeling too big and unmanageable.

Challenge The Worry

One of the ways that our mind plays tricks on us when it is worrying, is to make us 'avoid' the thing that gives us the anxious feelings.

Your child might say they 'don't want to do dancing anymore'. Maybe because they feel anxious about getting the moves wrong. This would mean your child missing out on something they enjoy, and is good for them.

It also puts the worry and anxiety 'in charge' and makes the child think the decision to avoid something was the best way to get rid of the horrible feelings.

How To Challenge Worries

Encourage your child to child to 'challenge the worry'. You could get them to ask themselves these questions;

What is the worst that could happen? (I will get the whole dance wrong and be embarrassed).

What is the best that could happen (I will get every step right and feel brilliant).

What is most likely to happen (I will get some steps right and some steps wrong and so will everyone else).

Helping your child think differently about their worry can help them 'give it a go' rather than letting the anxiety be 'in charge.'

It is good to give them the message that their worry is 'not always right.'

Sometimes a worry is very real and there is no way to make it feel smaller, for example someone they love being very ill. Being able to talk about how this feels is still important. You can help your child think about how they can look after themselves and where to go for help.

Learning To Relax

Different people find different things help them to relax; your child might like to read, colour, walk, run, dance, or watch TV.

For most people when they are struggling with worries and anxiety relaxing becomes more difficult. Sometimes people even forget to take the time out to relax. We can learn to be better at this.

One of the ways that we know helps when we are stressed is to take control of our breathing.

Simply slowing our breathing down, and counting our breaths can really help with the horrible feelings worry and anxiety bring.

Turn off phones and screens, find a quiet place.

Sit comfortably, close your eyes.

Breathe in through your nose counting to 4.

Let the breath out slowly through your mouth.

Keep this going for about 5 to ten minutes.

Open your eyes and take a quiet moment.

Practice every day and it will get easier and help more.

Although worries and anxieties are a normal part of life sometimes they get in the way of getting on with and enjoying life. If you feel your child is being badly affected by their worries it is important to seek help.

Tips

Try and ensure your child is eating a healthy diet, has a good sleep routine, and is getting fresh air and exercise. If children feel well physically, they will feel better mentally.

Encourage your child to talk to you about their worries. Stay calm and listen to what they are worried about.

Talk to your child about emotions and name them.

Help your child learn to 'pause', spot the emotion they are feeling and what is happening to them. Try the Turtle Technique.

Help your child to find ways to face their fears in a safe way.

Praise your child for talking about their worries.

Support your child with time and safe space to deal with their worries.

Create a worry box with your child.

Shelf Help Books

Books about mental health for 13 to 18 year olds, with advice and information about issues like anxiety, stress and OCD, bullying and exams.

All Shelf Help books can be reserved for free from any Norfolk library, or online. The books are available to borrow for up to six weeks.
Suggestions:

Coping with an Anxious or Depressed Child by Dr Sam Cartwright-Hatton.

No Worries! Mindful Kids: An activity book for young people who sometimes feel anxious or stressed by Katie Abey.

Health Uncovered Podcast

Health Uncovered is a series of podcasts that aims to get young people in-tune with their health and wellbeing. The series is hosted by BBC Radio One presenter Cel Spellman and features young people and health professionals from our Norfolk Healthy Child Programme.

Life isn't always easy - and young people across the country have been helping us explore the issues that they're facing today. From online bullying to sexual health, body image to mental health. They've been asking the questions you want to hear answered, joined by the health professionals that help young people, like school nurses and mental health specialists, to provide solutions, support and understanding.

If you have a child aged 7-12 with anxiety, and find it hard to access support, please take part in the I-DIGIT research survey by following the link to share yours and your child's views about the use of digital games and technologies designed to help reduce worries.
Take the survey

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Visit us today at Just One Norfolk for advice on supporting children and young people through their worries and anxieties, and where to find help.

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Mindfulness is a way of focusing on what is happening right now and taking a ‘break’ from stresses and worries. It is a skill that everyone can learn and benefit from. It is not hard to be ‘mindful’ but it does take a bit of practice.

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Visit us today at Just One Norfolk for advice on supporting the emotional health of children and young people in your care - from anxiety to development.

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Lots of young children will still struggle with their feelings at times. It may be when they are tired, poorly or facing changes in their lives. This is normal and your child will need your help and reassurance that everything will be OK.

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Big Emotions Worry Things You Can Do To Help

Big Emotions

Everyone has heard of the 'terrible twos' when most parents expect outbursts and tantrums. This often changes as children grow and are less frustrated because they have more language and physical skills. However it takes children a long time to handle their emotions in a safe and healthy way.

Help your child understand that all feelings are allowed. The important thing is we show them in a healthy way. For example 'You can tell your brother you are upset and cross that he scribbled on your picture, but you can't shout and hit them.'

Be a role model. If you shout, and 'lose it' when you are cross or frustrated your child might too. If this is a problem for you - now might be the time to get help? The Wellbeing Service can help.

If your child has a meltdown talk it through when they are calm again. Talk about how they felt and how their behaviour made others feel. Help them think how they could manage it differently another time.

Don't forget to spend time talking to your child and praising them when you see them managing their feelings well! Think about;

What helped them cope?

How did their good behaviour make others feel?

How did they feel?

Small children can have a lot of worries. Children this age;

Have very busy imaginations - so can have worries about 'monsters' or the dark.

Are facing a lot of new experiences.

Are starting to do things without you there.

Are very tuned in to things happening in the family; like arguments or people being poorly.

Just like adults, some children find new experiences or situations easier to cope with than others. Your child may not be able to explain their feelings but you might notice it by how they behave;

Being clingy or seeming more 'babyish'.

Not settling at night.

Avoiding things or places.

Having more tantrums.

Talk to your child about what you have noticed and help them think what might be causing these feelings and behaviours. You might be able to guess if you know that they are facing changes, or have had some hard experiences.

When your child feels worried or scared about something it might not seem a big deal to you. Encourage them to tell you about it. By showing you take how they feel seriously they are more likely to carry on talking to you as they get older. You can think up ways to cope together.

You can help your child by explaining that being worried is normal and everyone feels that way sometimes;

Explain that even if you feel worried you can ask for help and give things a go.

Remind them of a time when they did something they worried about; like when they managed to go on the big swings.

Come up with solutions together - like leaving a landing light or night light on if they feel scared of the dark or, standing with a teacher if they feel worried at playtime.

Praise your child for trying things even if they don't quite manage it.

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Visit us today at Just One Norfolk for advice on supporting the emotional health of children and young people in your care - from anxiety to development.

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An eating disorder is when someone has an unhealthy relationship with food and/or their bodies. This can take over their life and make them very unwell. If you think your child may be suffering from an eating disorder, it can be a confusing and scary time. You might be feeling helpless, and even angry, about what is happening to your child.

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You may need to get support from the GP, offer to go along with your child. If at any point you are worried that your child or young person is making them self seriously ill, call 111.

It may be helpful to speak to your child's Head of Year or teacher, to see what support they can offer in school.

You can also contact the Healthy Child Programme by calling Just One Number on 0300 300 0123 or texting Parentline on 07520 631590. Our opening hours are 8am-6pm Monday-Friday (excluding bank holidays) and 9am-1pm on Saturdays.

If you are 11-19 you can text Chathealth on 07480 635060 for confidential advice from one of our team.

For adults Qwell provides free, safe and anonymous mental wellbeing support for adults in Norfolk and Waveney from a professional team of qualified counsellors.

For 11-25 year olds Kooth is a free, confidential and safe way to receive online counselling, advice and emotional well-being support.

Childline - Children and young people under 19 can call 0800 1111 for free support.

Young Minds Parents Helpline - Call 0808 802 5544 for free Mon-Fri from 9.30am to 4pm.

Below are some other organisations who can offer help and support;

Feast is a global organisation who are there to help you understand your child's eating disorder, support you in helping them get appropriate treatment, and get you the information you need to help them recover and thrive.

Eating Matters is a Norfolk Charity offering counselling to people with mild to moderate eating disorders in the community - call 01603 767062.

Beat Eating disorders is the UK's leading eating disorder charity. Your young person may feel more comfortable talking to someone else. The helpline is open 365 days a year from 9am-8pm during the week, and 4pm-8pm on weekends and bank holidays.

Young Minds Parents Helpline - Call 0808 802 5544 for free Mon-Fri from 9.30am to 4pm.

To speak to other Norfolk parents and carers, you can join our online community forum below.

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eating disorders health food eat anorexia nervosa bulimia diet signs help eating healthy ill illness disorder body image mental health

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Visit us today at Just One Norfolk for advice on supporting the emotional health of children and young people in your care - from anxiety to development.

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Resilience is a word we use to describe people being able to manage when things change or become more challenging.

It is never too late to become more resilient - skills that will help your child can help you too.

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Understanding Feelings Build Healthy Habits Coping With Hard Times Parent Workshop Resilience Backpack Building Family Resilience

Understanding Feelings

Understanding that all feelings are 'normal' and healthy, even the more difficult ones like anger and sadness, is important. It is how you show your feelings that counts.

Knowing how to cope with 'big feelings' is an important skill. We need to be able to manage our thoughts and feelings when times are hard.

When your child is angry encourage them to tell people 'I'm angry about that' but then help them find 'good ways' to manage the feeling. Try;

Counting to ten

Taking time out

Breathing slowly.

Read more about healthy ways to manage anger
When your child is sad;

Give them time to talk about it

Encourage them to cry if they want

Help them think what might make them feel better - a cuddle, seeing friends, taking exercise?

When your child is happy or proud enjoy the moment with them. Talk about what has happened. Thinking through things that have gone well can help children see their part in it, and build confidence.

Be a good example! Talk about your own feelings, and manage your reactions in a healthy way. Seek help if you know this is something you find hard. Have a look at the Norfolk Wellbeing Service for more information.

It is great when a child learns to look after their physical and emotional health whilst they are young. Children benefit from having good habits in place - self care becomes a natural part of every day life. This will help your child as they grow and develop. Help your child build routines and habits that include;

Eating well and taking regular exercise

Releases 'feel good' hormones.

Helps reduce stress.

Keeps us physically strong.

Thinking positively

Practice focusing on things that are going well in life and what they like about themselves.

Hobbies and activities

Improves self-esteem.

Can give healthy distractions when we have worries and difficulties.

Time with friends and family

Helps build strong bonds with loved ones.

We all need people to talk to, and have fun times with.

Builds support networks we can rely on.

Having the chance to challenge themselves and achieve results

It could be running faster, reading a harder book, even talking to a new person at school.

Ways to relax their bodies and minds

Mindfulness (tuning in to what is going on inside and outside of our minds and bodies).

Coping With Hard Times

It can feel difficult to see your child go through a tough time. It can be an instinct to fix it for them because you don't like to see them sad or worried. One of the ways that we become resilient adults is by learning that we can cope when things don't go as we hoped.

If you always protect your child from disappointment and difficulty, they miss out on learning their strengths and ways to overcome hard times. This may make them feel out of control and helpless when they face challenges.

Not fixing a problem does not mean your child needs to cope alone. Work together to make things better.

Make sure your child knows it is healthy to ask for help, and tell people when you are struggling.

Get your child to think who they can talk to when they have a problem - it may be you, other family members, friends or teachers.

Build talking time into your family life. Mealtimes, walks and cooking are all opportunities for a chat. Turn off screens and focus on each other.

When your child tells you a worry or a problem, don't feel you have to have an answer or be able to fix it. Being listened to is so important for your child.

Be aware of your own feelings. If you feel angry on your child's behalf you may need to calm yourself down first of all.

If your child tells you their problem, help them think it through and plan next steps;

What is happening?

When did it begin?

How is it making them feel?

Have they tried anything to help?

What has helped them in hard times before?

Remind them of ways you have seen them manage difficulties before

Can they think what they might do next?

What support would they like from you?

Who else can help?

It is by learning from good and bad experiences that you can help your child build the resilience that will help them throughout life.

Parent Workshop

The Psychology in Schools Team delivered a parent workshop which looked at how you can support your child or young person to build resilience. You can watch the recording of the workshop below.

Resilience Backpack

This activity helps your child to think about positive things that will help and support them when going through periods of change.

Life can be extremely difficult sometimes and it's perfectly normal to experience anger, grief and pain., but the more resilient you are as a family the easier it will be to keep functioning both physically and mentally during difficult times.

In this video Tanni Grey-Thompson shares some advice from NHS mental health professionals on how to come together as a family when a child has a mental illness.

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Visit us today at Just One Norfolk for advice on supporting the emotional health of children and young people in your care - from anxiety to development.

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Anger is a normal and healthy feeling which we all experience. Over time we have learnt ways to manage this. Children and young people can sometimes be scared by the feeling of anger. They may not always have the words or understanding to manage this emotion. Anger can be a way for them to show their frustration or unhappiness, or they may not even know what is making them feel this way.

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Anger is a normal and healthy feeling which we all experience. Over time we have learnt ways to manage this. Children and young people can sometimes be scared by the feeling of anger. They may not always have the words or understanding to manage this emotion. Anger can be a way for them to show their frustration or unhappiness, or they may not even know what is making them feel this way.

It can be a response to feeling scared or stressed, or things not happening as they hoped.Parents and carers have an important part to play in helping them cope with these strong feelings.

Children can learn to recognise and name strong feelings like anger. Children often need support to learn out how to handle the feeling and how to show it safely, as well as how to calm themselves down.

Sometimes children and young people get angry about something that has just happened or something they have bottled up for a long time. As they grow up they have many challenges to learn to manage. Changes in school, friendships, exams and family relationships can all lead to feelings of anger.

Things You Can Do Triggers The Anger Iceberg Fight Or Flight Let It Out Ideas For Calming Down Shelf Help Books Health Uncovered Podcast

Things You Can Do

It can help for your child to learn about anger. You can support them do this.

The anger volcano is a fun activity that you can do together. It will help you to chat about how anger feels and how you can manage this in a positive way. You can download this below.

Talk about what's making your child feel angry - don't ignore it. Your child may not want to talk straight away and that is okay, but you can help to get them started by talking about what makes you angry. Choose examples that a child or young person can easily understand like 'leaving the towels on the floor in the bathroom'.

It is hard keeping calm and caring for your child through a meltdown. Make sure you have time to let off steam and have someone to talk to too - being with your child when they are feeling angry is exhausting! Get support for yourself;

Talk to friends and family.

Relax when you can; it could be deep breathing, getting some fresh air or having a bubble bath.

Taking care of yourself will help you keep being able to respond to and support your child when they are struggling with their feelings.

You know your child best. You may notice that there are some things that make an angry outburst more likely. Being aware of this can help you and your child avoid a meltdown.

Anger can be triggered by basic needs like hunger or tiredness. Or it may be that stress, new situations or family upsets or worries increase the number of outbursts. Things like teasing or feeling 'bossed about' by a sibling can also create these feelings. Sometimes stepping in to distract and support your child to manage their frustration can head off an outburst.

Knowing how best to respond to your child can be difficult when they are angry. The reasons and how your child shows anger will depend on a number of things like age, personality and understanding.

There is a pattern to anger. It can happen very quickly but if you can spot the stages you may be able to sometimes avoid the meltdown. Use some time after an outburst to think how it might be avoided next time. As your child gets older it is important that they get in the habit of reflecting on this too.

Stages of an angry outburst:

The Trigger

Try to intervene or distract your child when you first notice they are becoming irritable or angry.

Give positive instructions and give time for your child to act on these.

Notice the triggers for future reference.

Escalation - it's getting bigger!

Try to change activity to diffuse the situation.

Encourage your child to use calming strategies such as the "Take 5 breathing", counting to ten or a physical activity like star jumps.

Crisis Stage - meltdown!

Make sure everyone is safe and remain calm.

Use a quiet, slow and clear voice so your child has time to understand what you are saying.

Recovery Stage - for you as well as your child.

Allow time for your child to calm down safely.

Give them a simple calming activity such as colouring or drawing.

Be positive, encouraging and avoid discussing what happened at this point.

Post-Crisis Stage

Having a meltdown is exhausting - your child will need reassurance and encouragement from you as the chemicals in their body returns to normal.

Having a meltdown is a really scary experience for a child - theymayneed you to reassure and comfort them.

If they are old enough you can discuss any unwantedbehaviour after they are calm.

Follow up

Reflect, talk and listen with your child.

Try to make a plan together to avoid future angry outbursts.

It is important that your child feels listened to, especially when they are talking about something that is important to them and resulted in a strong emotion like anger.

Always praise your child when they try to manage a difficultfeeling in a positive way. If they don't manage it talk to them when they have calmed down. Come up with a plan about what they could try another time.

The Anger Iceberg

It can be helpful to think of your child's anger like an iceberg. If your child is showing lots of signs they are angry, underneath the surface they could be feeling lots of other emotions.

Anger is sometimes just the quickest and easiest emotion to show.

Think about the other things that could be happening for your child at the moment.

Talk with them about what they might be feeling underneath.

You can download the anger iceberg below.

Fight Or Flight

Fight, flight or freeze is a normal reaction. It is our body's way of preparing itself to respond to danger. Back incave mantimesit would have been the instinct that kept us safer when wild animals were around.

Fight, flight or freezeis an automatic response. Itcan happen when the danger is real or only in our minds. Our body's automatic reaction is eitherto;

Stay and fight.

Run away.

Freeze and be unable to move.

It can be helpful to watch out for when your child has a "fight ,flight or freeze" response. Be aware of any patterns or triggers. Flight or flight can be a sign of the anger emotion. This response is our bodies letting us know that there is a danger. We can stay and fight the danger or run away.

Being able to spot the signs of anger early can help your child understand what they are feeling. Talk about what your child feels when they start to get angry. For example, they may notice that:

Their heart beats faster.

Their muscles tense.

Their teeth clench.

They clench their fists.

Their stomach churns.

They feel hot.

They want to hit or kick.

They shout or swear.

Let It Out

Helping your child find safe ways to let out anger can be good for all the family. Giving your child a space where they can go if they are feeling angry can also make them feel more secure.
Safe ways for your child to let their anger out:

Listening to or playing music

Writing down or drawing how they are feeling

Hitting or punching a cushion or pillow

Counting to 10 slowly

Exercise such as kicking a football or jumping on a trampoline

Tearing up an old newspaper or magazine

Scribbling with a marker pen.

Ideas For Calming Down

The videos below explain what your child can do to calm intense fear or anger so they can make better decisions, and how they can create a space between a situation occurring and their reaction to it.

Shelf Help Books

Books about mental health for 13 to 18 year olds, with advice and information about issues like anxiety, stress and OCD, bullying and exams.

All Shelf Help books can be reserved for free from any Norfolk library, or online. The books are available to borrow for up to six weeks.
Suggestions:

Feeling Angry! by Katie Douglass.

Mindful Me: Exploring Emotions: A Mindfulness Guide to Dealing With Emotions by Paul Christelis and Elisa Paganell.

Health Uncovered Podcast

Health Uncovered is a series of podcasts that aims to get young people in-tune with their health and wellbeing. The series is hosted by BBC Radio One presenter Cel Spellman and features young people and health professionals from our Norfolk Healthy Child Programme.

Life isn't always easy - and young people across the country have been helping us explore the issues that they're facing today. From online bullying to sexual health, body image to mental health. They've been asking the questions you want to hear answered, joined by the health professionals that help young people, like school nurses and mental health specialists, to provide solutions, support and understanding.

If you are concerned that you are unable to help your child control their anger, you could speak to their school or early years setting. Many children get angry and sometimes their anger can last a long time. Schools and early years settings will have supported lots of parents to help them understand the same issues.

If anger becomes regular and uncontrollable you may need to seek further help and support. You can contact a member of the 0-19 Healthy Child Programme by calling Just One Number on 0300 300 0123 or texting Parentline on 07520 631590. Our opening hours are 8am-6pm Monday-Friday (excluding bank holidays) and 9am-1pm on Saturdays.

You can also contact your GP, who can help you access support.

If you are 11-19 you can text ChatHealth on 07480 635060 for confidential advice from one of our team.

For adults Qwell provides free, safe and anonymous mental wellbeing support for adults in Norfolk and Waveney from a professional team of qualified counsellors.

For 11-25 year olds Kooth is a free, confidential and safe way to receive online counselling, advice and emotional well-being support.

Childline - Children and young people under 19 can call 0800 1111 for free support.

Young Minds Parents Helpline - Call 0808 802 5544 for free Mon-Fri from 9.30am to 4pm.

To speak to other Norfolk parents and carers, you can join our online community forum below.

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Here at Just One Norfolk, we discuss how you can support your child through anger, and tips for helping them to develop emotions safely.

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Grief is the word we use to describe the feelings we have after someone dies. Everyone grieves in their own way. It can be hard to know how to support your children as they grieve, especially if you are struggling with what has happened too.

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Grief Langauge Feelings Funerals Pet Death Support From Nursery Or School Support For Yourself When To Get More Support

Grief

It can help for your child to learn about anger. You can support them do this.

Children don't show their grief all of the time

Children tend to 'move in and out' of grief - one moment very upset and the next asking what's for tea. They cannot cope with 'big feelings' for too long at a time. Children let themselves take a break from their feelings which is very healthy.

Revisiting grief again and again

Children and young people revisit their grief as they grow and understand more. What you miss about having a Dad when you are six will be different to what you miss when you are 16. So children may grieve 'hard' at different times in their childhood even if the person died long ago.

Remembering the person

Talking about the person who died and saying their name is healthy. You might feel worried it will make you or your child feel sad, or bring back difficult memories. When we avoid these conversations children learn to push down and avoid thoughts and feelings.

There are many ways you can remember them everyday, and also on days that can feel harder like birthdays or Christmas.

Photos and videos are precious. Make sure that you have copies and 'back up' files on phones and computers.

Choose some special photos to have around the house. Let your child choose some that they want to have for themselves. Tell the stories that go with the photo.

If you have family or friends who remember the person when they were growing up it can be helpful to get them to talk / write what they remember about them.

Treasure memory boxes help on days when you are really missing the person or want to talk about them.

Plan ahead for times you know might be hard.

Those who are very young when the person died will need your help to learn more about the person and feel a connection to them.

Photo's, memory boxes and talking about your own memories of the person are good ways to help your child 'get to know' the person even though they have died.

It is hard knowing you have to give your child bad news that is going to cause them pain.

Whilst no parent would want to do this it is such an important job, and you know your child best.

Bereavements like suicide and murder can still be explained to children in a way they can understand.
Read more about discussing tricky topics
Use simple language. Use the words 'dead' or 'died'. Using words like 'lost' or 'passed away' confuses little children and makes it hard for even older children to understand when they are in shock.

Feelings

People expect to feel sad after someone has died. That can be a big part of the feelings but adults, children and young people will experience a lot of other emotions too.

There are no 'right or wrong' ways to feel. You will probably notice that for children and grown ups feelings sometimes change from one moment to the next.

You might find, especially in the early days that you and / or your children feel 'numb' and the tears and upset don't happen straight away.

Some people feel very tired and sleep a lot. Don't worry about this - it is the brains way of taking on board something really hard.

Sometimes people feel relieved to begin with especially if a person has been very ill or the relationship has been very difficult.

People may feel angry for all sorts of reasons with themselves, other people or the person who has died.

There may be feelings of guilt about things that happened in the relationship, or even that you are still alive.

It is common to feel worried and anxious about other people you love and your own health.

Children may feel jealous and cross that other people still have their parent / grandparent - it can feel unfair.

Different feelings will come and go at different times. There is no right or wrong way to get through it. Reassure your child that what they are going through is a part of grief and it will not always be this hard.

Give your child opportunities to talk about what they are going through;

Talking is often easier when you are doing something else - like cooking, walking the dog, driving back from the supermarket.

Encourage questions - if you don't know the answer that is okay. You can always agree to try and find out for them.

They may feel protective of you and want to talk to other family and friends or someone at school.

When your child is going through a hard time - it's easy to let boundaries slip. This can make your child feel like everything has changed - they will feel safer and more secure if you keep to important rules.

Whilst all feelings are okay your child needs to know safe ways to show them. If you are angry it is okay to punch your pillow or listen to loud angry music - but it is not okay to hit your brother or swear at a teacher.

If an angry outburst has happened take time out to talk about it when things have calmed down. Help them have coping strategies ready next time they feel that way.

You will not all grieve in the same way and at the same time. A good day for one person can be a bad day for another. Talk about this and how you can manage it.

If your child feels sad and overwhelmed help them to think about what helps. Do they need time alone or a cuddle? Does playing with the dog, or going to the park help the strong feelings to pass?

Funerals

Whether your children go to the funeral of someone they love is a very personal decision. You know your children best.

Funerals are an important part of saying goodbye. They are a good chance to be with others, who cared about the person, and to share and listen to memories.

Even very small children can attend funerals and be a part of a special family time if that is what you decide.

If you think your child should go it is important they understand what a funeral is and what it will be like. Watch the video below for help on explaining a funeral to a child.

Things To Think About

Involve them in the planning - let them help to choose music / flowers.

You may decide together that they should attend for some parts of the day and not others.

Ask a person they know well to be their supporter for the day so they know they can leave if they want to.

If they are very young and won't remember, or they are not going to attend, ask someone to 'collect memories' for them. This could be;

Getting people to write memories of the person who has died in a book.

Taking photos of flowers and where the service was held.

Keeping copies of orders of service.

If your child is not going to attend the funeral think of other ways for them to say goodbye;
Read more about ways to include your child in a funeral
Pet Death

Pets are an important part of the family. You might be surprised by just how upsetting it is when a loved animal dies. It is very sad and affects everyone. Pet death might be a child's first experience of someone they have loved dying, or they may have been through loss before. Either way it is a painful experience and causes all of the feelings of grief.

Tell your child what has happened in a straightforward and honest way.

Use the words dead and died and explain what that means. 'Benny was very ill, the vet couldn't make him better, his body stopped working and he died'.

Decide how you want to say goodbye to your pet with your child. Children often like to hold some sort of 'funeral' for a pet. This can be a good opportunity for them to say goodbye and understand what a funeral is.

Sharing your feelings and comforting each other sets a good example of how you get through hard times together.

Let school / nursery friends and family know your pet has died.

CBeebies has some good advice for supporting younger children when a pet dies.

Newsround have a good video for older children.

Support From Nursery Or School

You may decide to keep your child at home with the family for a short while after someone they love has died, or they may want to be at school. This is a personal decision and you know your child best.

Schools can play an important part in supporting bereaved children. Both in the early days and as time goes by. It is important they know when something difficult has happened in a child's life. Let nursery / school know what has happened as soon as you can.

Make a plan for when your child goes back to school. Involve your child in deciding what might help going back a bit easier. School may have some ideas of how to help, or know services that can advise them and you.

Schools sometimes need reminding of what your child has been through as time passes.

Let new schools / new teachers know about this important event in your child's life.

Let school know if a hard anniversary or day is coming up.

Keep school informed if you notice your child seems to be struggling - however long after the bereavement it is.

Support For Yourself

It is difficult to cope with your own feelings of grief as well as supporting your family. Taking care of yourself is really important, and will benefit you and your children.

Ask family and friends to help out if you can. People often offer in the early days but you might need to remind them as time goes on. People like to feel useful.

Talking to other people who have been in similar situations can be a help. There are websites and online forums out there for many different kinds of bereavement.

Looking after yourself is important eating well, getting rest and being active. This might feel too hard - but it will help your mind and body to cope better with what has happened.

Read more about looking after yourself here
If you notice any of the following you could need some mental health support;

It is important you tell someone and get professional help.

See your GP to talk about this or get in touch with Norfolk Wellbeing Services. You can also call Just One Number to talk to a health professional.

It is an emergency if you do not feel 'safe' and think you might hurt yourself, you should ask for an emergency GP appointment or go to A&E.

When To Get More Support

Although it is not easy many children and families cope with the sadness of the death of a loved one in their own way.

You might worry that your child needs help to make sense of their feelings.

Talk to your child about what you have noticed, and why you are worried. See if they know what has triggered their feelings and behaviour. They might have some good ideas of what they would find helpful.
Find out more ideas for getting through bad days
Explain that you think it would be a good idea to ask other people for help too, tell them who you are going to speak to.

Talk to nursery / school, and explain your worries. School may be able to provide support or be able to refer for more help.

Call Just One Number to discuss it with a health professional, or speak to your GP.

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how to support children with death loss sadness

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Visit us today at Just One Norfolk for advice on supporting the emotional health of children and young people in your care - from anxiety to development.

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When your child is suffering, parenthood can be tough, lonely and frightening. When the cause of that suffering is hard to understand, as is so often the case with mental health, it becomes more difficult still.

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Parents and Carers support - The Charlie Waller Trust

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Content, support and resources for parents and carers from the Charlie Waller Trust

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Not Fine in School was created as a resource for the growing numbers of families with children experiencing school attendance barriers.

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Not Fine in School is a parent-led organisation empowering families & raising awareness of school attendance barriers (school refusal/ anxiety/ SEND/ bullying)

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Anxiety UK School Phobia Information Sheet

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Anxiety UK School Phobia Information Sheet

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If your child is anxious about school, or they are unable to go to school, we have advice on supporting them and working with the school and other services.

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It's normal for children and young people to feel worried about something that's happening at school - for example, when starting a new school or during exams. Sometimes, however, school can become challenging, stressful or distressing over a much longer period of time.

If your child is feeling anxious about school, or not able to go, it can be exhausting for both of you. Mornings in particular can become really stressful for the whole family, as you try to juggle your child's feelings alongside the need to get them to school and get on with your other responsibilities such as work. Even if you manage to get your child to the school gate, you might know how difficult they're going to find the day - or know that you'll be facing the same problem tomorrow morning.

If you're in this situation, we've got advice to help you explore what's going on with your child, make changes at school that can help, and find the support you need if your child can't go to school.

Young people can feel anxious about school for lots of different reasons. They might be worried about making friends or fitting in, find schoolwork or lessons confusing, feel pressured to learn in a certain way or find their relationships with teachers difficult.

Sometimes, going through difficult experiences outside of school - such as bereavement, an illness in the family or being a young carer - can also make it harder for a child to feel settled at school.

For some young people, the school environment isn't right for them, and trying to fit into it can create a huge amount of stress. This might be the case if they are struggling with their mental health, or have a neurodiverse condition or Special Educational Need (SEN) such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia or dyspraxia. This can make the school environment anxiety-provoking and exhausting, especially if their condition or need is undiagnosed or not being well supported.

Young people might show they're feeling anxious about school by:

not wanting to get up and get ready

saying they can't go

worrying a lot about small issues, such as having the right equipment for a lesson

feeling sick, or having stomach aches or headaches

not sleeping well

not doing schoolwork, or their grades dropping

being angry or upset, or acting out - at school or at home

withdrawing - seeming low, quiet or depressed

It's often difficult for your child to articulate the problem. They may be in a heightened state of stress and not know why or feel able to explain. Your child probably wants to feel able to be in school, just as much as you want them to be there. In many cases it just doesn't feel possible.

Sometimes it can be difficult to work out what's making your child feel anxious, and the first step is often helping them to identify exactly what's worrying them. Once you understand the problem, you'll be in a much better position to make changes that can help.

Young people can find it hard to explain what's causing their feelings, and might not be able to answer direct questions like 'what's going on?' Using an anxiety iceberg can help to open up the conversation - giving you a more relaxed way of exploring together what's causing their anxiety.

Watch our video to find out how to make an anxiety iceberg with your child.

If you're making an anxiety iceberg with younger children, you might want to draw images on the iceberg, or encourage them to write simple words. With older children and teenagers, you can ask them to write key words and phrases on the iceberg, or do this as a mind map, with 'school' in the middle and all the things they're finding difficult around the outside.

Through this exercise, you might identify worries such as arriving at school, finding the environment noisy or overwhelming, finding lessons confusing, feeling lonely through the day, or feeling uncomfortable during specific subjects.

Once you understand what's going on for your child, you can use their anxiety iceberg or mind map to communicate with the school and ask for specific changes.

Follow these steps to start a conversation with the school:

Here are some examples of things you can ask the school for:

Remember that even though this situation can be really tough for you and your child, it's a good idea to maintain a positive relationship with the school. Recognise the support they're offering and any changes they're making. This will help you work together to make things better for your child.

Building a relationship with the attendance team at my son's school was hugely helpful, we were talking with them each day.

If your child isn't going to school at the moment, it might feel incredibly stressful and tiring. You might be worried about when they will be able to get back to school or the impact on their education. Or you might feel overwhelmed because you're juggling this alongside work and other family commitments. Things are probably feeling tough for your child too.

During this time, it's important to keep working with teachers and other staff to try strategies that can help your child get back to school. Keep encouraging them to take achievable steps towards attending too. When the right support is in place, it's often easier for a young person to get back into their usual routine if they can return to school as quickly as possible.

If your child's anxiety about school has built up to the point where they can't go, it's a good idea to get them some professional mental health or SEN support. Find out how to do this further down the page.

Alongside requesting professional help, try to:

The school's SEN and attendance policies should be on their website. Knowing what these are can support you during meetings with the school.

This can help if your child is unable to go to school for a longer period of time and you need to ask for more support, including provision of alternative full-time education.

Encourage your child to get up, do some studying and stop for lunch at the same times they would if they were in school. This will make adapting back to school easier. Explain to your child that if they cannot go to school, they will need to study at home - at least until alternative arrangements are put in place. Ask the school to help you facilitate tasks and activities your child can do and use online resources such as BBC Bitesize.

Not going to school could leave your child feeling really isolated. Make sure they stay connected to the outside world by seeing friends and family, doing activities they enjoy and getting outside for walks and exercise.

Speaking to friends online can be really important if your child is feeling isolated at home. Sometimes, however, you might notice that your child is spending lots of time gaming or on their phone, and that this is getting in the way of important daily activities like spending quality time with family, learning, or sleeping and eating well. If this is becoming a problem, have a look at our guide to gaming or guide to social media for more information and advice.

Local authorities must provide alternative education if a child of compulsory school age is unable to attend school over a longer period of time. If your child cannot attend school because of a mental or physical health issue, the local authority should provide an alternative as soon as it is clear that they will be away from school for more than 15 days (either consecutively or over time). Find out how to request alternative education.

Getting back to school after weeks or months may feel extremely difficult for your child, but you and the school can help make it more manageable. Here are some things you can do to help:

Set small, achievable targets, such as visiting the building outside school hours or attending one lesson.

Request a home visit from a school staff member so your child can check in while feeling safe, see that the school cares and discuss any strategies that might help them.

Ask for a reduced timetable, with regular reviews to discuss building back up at a manageable rate.

Discuss changing classes or sets if your child thinks this would help.

Focus on qualifications needed for what your child wants to do next, perhaps dropping a less relevant GCSE to reduce stress.

My son wasn't questioned about his absence when he did feel able to pop in for favourite lessons, helping to ease him back into full days of education.

If your child is struggling with anxiety and it's affecting their day-to-day life, learning or relationships, it's a good idea to find some professional support. Speaking to the GP and finding them a counsellor or therapist are two good places to start. You can find more information about GPs, counsellors and other mental health services in our guide to getting support from mental health services.

If there is no other obvious reason for your child's inability to attend school, they may have an undiagnosed Special Educational Need (SEN) such as dyslexia, autism or ADHD.

If you think this is the case:

Speak to the school's SENCO or your GP to ask for a referral for an assessment.

While you are waiting for an assessment, you can also ask the SENCO to refer your child for support from other professionals, such as an Educational Psychologist or Speech and Language Therapist. These professionals can identify specific needs and make recommendations for additional support the school can put in place - even if your child hasn't had a formal diagnosis yet.

SEN support at school
If your child is diagnosed with SEN, extra support and adjustments should be put in place at school to help them attend and learn. This is called SEN support, and should be available within the school's existing resources. Speak to the school's SENCO in the first instance about how the school will support your child.
Education, Health and Care (EHC) plans
If you do not think your child's needs can be met by the school's existing resources, you can ask the local authority to carry out an Education, Health and Care needs assessment (EHC needs assessment). If the local authority decides your child needs additional support, they will then make an Education, Health and Care plan (EHC plan). This outlines how the extra support they need will be provided. Find out more about EHC plans.
Your Local Offer
Your Local Offer is the information, support and services available for young people with SEN, and for their parents and families. You can find out what support is available in your area by going to your local authority's website and searching for their Local Offer.

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

We have more tips and advice on supporting your child with school, and information about how you can get in touch with our Parents Helpline.
This page was reviewed in December 2022. It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with school anxiety. We will next review the page in 2025. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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School Anxiety and Refusal | Parent Guide to Support

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If your child is anxious about school, or refusing to go to school at all, read our tips and advice on how you can support their mental health.

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A leaflet for parents and carers, offering top tips for speaking to young people about mental health.

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A booklet for pupils and their parents and carers to work through together, to help both parents/carers and children feel more prepared for the change.

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The internet offers huge opportunities. From a young age, children have the chance to learn, research, play games, have fun and connect with family who may not live nearby. But it’s important to help them to use the online world in a way that’s safe and positive for their mental health.

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If you are worried about your child or teenager using the internet, this guide provides tips and advice for talking to your child about their use of social media and the internet.

Get advice and updates directly to your inbox

Join our fight for children and young people's mental health. Sign up to the YoungMinds mailing list to receive our monthly e-newsletter, campaign updates, information about events and fundraising and other opportunities to get involved in our work.

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Guide Menu for Social media

The internet offers huge opportunities. From a young age, children have the chance to learn, research, play games, have fun and connect with family who may not live nearby. But it's important to help them to use the online world in a way that's safe and positive for their mental health.

That's why it's good to have regular conversations about the internet and social media from a young age - it should be as ordinary as talking about the weather, the dog, or something you've watched on TV.

You don't need to pry or quiz your child about every website they've seen, but checking in with them for a minute or two can make a huge difference.

Take a look at our tips below for having positive conversations with your child about social media.

Although most social media platforms are officially 13+, most children sign up to at least one when they're much younger. It's better that you encourage them to be open with you, rather than thinking they need to keep it a secret from you. And be aware that if they accept your follow/friend request on a social media account, it's very possible they have another one that they're not sharing with you.

Remind your child that every social media platform has privacy settings, and show them how to use them.

Talk to your child about the sort of information they want to keep private.

Make sure your child understands how to report or block things that aren't appropriate.

Help your child to understand that they shouldn't feel the need to be available all the time on social media. It's okay to take a break, and you don't need to take part in every conversation.

Setting realistic boundaries

The boundaries you set for internet use will depend on your child's age. It's like teaching your child to cross the road: you'll make sure they hold your hand when they're very young, but as they grow older you want them to assess the risks and stay safe more independently.

Whatever their age, it's a good idea to sit down together with your child to agree some rules about how much time they spend online. For example, you might want to agree that they shouldn't go online just before bed or use any devices at night, because this can affect their sleep. You can often set timers on devices to limit internet use - but try to help your child manage this for themselves as well.

You can also set up parental controls to stop your child from accessing harmful content online, but your child may well learn how to get round these. That's why it's important to make sure your child is able to make good decisions for themselves.

Talking to your child about gaming

It is worth checking the ratings on the games your child is playing. If your child wants to buy a game that looks like it's extremely violent or too old for them, then trust your judgement if you don't feel it's appropriate.

We have more information and advice to help you and your family create a healthy culture around gaming, and to help you support your child if they're struggling.

Cyberbullying

Bullying isn't okay, whether it happens at school, at home or on the internet. If your child is receiving nasty messages, or people are posting unwanted things about them, or they feel harassed, they should do something about it.

Encourage them to talk to you. Even if it seems like a small thing, it can really help to talk things through with you about what to do.

Make sure they understand how to block and report the people involved, and to use the privacy settings to limit what people can see on their profiles.

Help them understand that they are responsible for what they post. They should remember to think about what effect their posts might have on others, and that they probably shouldn't say anything online that they wouldn't say in person. That means not writing nasty things about people you know - but it also means not posting abuse to celebrities, who are real people too.

Spotting and acting on the warning signs

You know your child well, and may well recognise it if something is wrong. It's important to act on the warning signs. If you start to feel concerned:

Talk to your child openly.

Listen to what they have to say.

Don't rush to judgement.

Make sure they know you'll always be there for them.

Where to get further support

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

You might also find helpful...

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Social Media & Mental Health | Guide For Parents

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If you are worried about your child or teenager using the internet, read our guide and resources on talking to your child about their use of social media.

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Try a Moodbooster activity at home to get your family moving and feeling good! By taking part with everyone in your home, you can both promote a sense of wellbeing, and offer everyone in the family some basic skills to feel good.

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Famous faces from across the BBC and beyond including Dr Ranj Singh, Oti Mabuse, Ade Adepitan MBE, Rhys Stephenson and Bethany Shriever MBE lead videos to inspire everyone at home to boost their mood, feel good, and use movement to help them understand their emotions and manage feelings together as a family.

There are 10 Moodboosters videos to use at home as a family that will help to encourage a sense of fun in your living room.

By taking part with everyone in your home, you can both promote a sense of wellbeing, and offer everyone in the family some basic skills to feel good.

Explore the videos

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Family Moodboosters - videos to get the whole household moving and feeling good

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Fun videos and resources to inspire everyone at home to use movement to help them understand their emotions and manage feelings together as a family

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Fun, educational and inspirational activities to keep kids, teens and even parents entertained.

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Activities - BBC Parents' Toolkit - BBC Bitesize

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Fun, educational and inspirational activities to keep kids, teens and even parents entertained while you're at home.

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Dr Oscar Duke, otherwise known as ‘The Doctor Dad’, knows how hard it can be to help children get a good night’s sleep. Here, he provides some practical tips for good sleep hygiene, including how to get into a routine and how to wind down anxious minds.

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Dr Oscar Duke, otherwise known as 'The Doctor Dad', knows how hard it can be to help children get a good night's sleep. Here, he provides some practical tips for good sleep hygiene, including how to get into a routine and how to wind down anxious minds.

Plan a routine

Having a routine is one of the best ways to help develop what's known as good 'sleep hygiene'. There are no set rules when it comes to sleep routines, but it's generally thought that most 5-11 year-olds need between 10 and 12 hours sleep every night. Work out the best bedtime by counting 10 to 12 hours backwards from when they normally wake up. Try to stick to this time but don't panic if it doesn't work out every night.

Keep children away from over-stimulation wherever possible in the evenings.   As tempting as it is to get phones and tablets out to wind down, science shows that blue light emitted by TVs, tablets and phones directly interfere with melatonin - the hormone which controls sleep. Avoid screen time for at least an hour before bed and have a relaxing bath and cuddle up with a book instead.   Sleep is important for brain development so getting enough allows children to feel fresh and alert the next morning. Not only does sleep give our brains and bodies time to recover, but it also helps to maintain good mental health.

Get moving

Exercise is crucial for your child's physical health, mental wellbeing and a good night's sleep.
Encourage children to get their heart rate up during the day by playing ball games outside, playing tag, or doing at home workouts with the rest of the family. A great exercise to do in the evening is yoga. Yoga incorporates stretching and deep breathing which can help relax the body and relieve any tension from the day.

Exercise increases fitness, reduces stress and also helps to develop motor and coordination skills too. It's also an excellent way to avoid sibling squabbles, build relationships and keep healthy at the same time.

Talk about feelings

Try to have a quiet, reflective period of time before bedtime. Let go of anxieties and concerns by encouraging conversations around your child's feelings. Ask simple questions like 'did anything make you feel sad today?' - you won't always know the answers but be sure to listen and engage with what they are saying. Working through a problem with them is often the best strategy and it shows that sharing a problem, however small it may seem, can be a big mental relief.   Perhaps ask your child to list five positive things they've been grateful for that day, whether it's a sibling, a helpful teacher, a friend or a favourite toy - focusing on positivity is a wonderful way to end the day.

'Thought balloons'

Letting go of any anxieties or concerns before sleep is really important to ensure a restful night. When putting your kids to bed, sit with them to visualise putting each distracting thought into an imaginary balloon, whilst closing their eyes and watching it drift off into the sky above.

Do some mindful meditation

Before bed, get into the comfiest pyjamas and sit with your child/children in a circle. Play some meditation music, or ocean or rainforest sounds. Hold hands, close your eyes and take some deep breaths for 5- 10 minutes. This quiet time will definitely get you relaxed and sleepy!

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How do I get my child to sleep? - The Super Tutors - BBC Bitesize

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Dr Oscar Duke, aka 'The Doctor Dad', explains how you can help your child get into a good sleep routine.

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As a parent, it can be hard to watch your child struggle with managing their emotions. Naturally, we want to comfort our children so we tend to use phrases like “don’t worry” or “you’ll be fine”. When we do this, we miss an important opportunity to connect with our kids and understand the extent of their emotions.

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As a parent, it can be hard to watch your child struggle with managing their emotions. Naturally, we want to comfort our children so we tend to use phrases like "don't worry" or "you'll be fine". When we do this, we miss an important opportunity to connect with our kids and understand the extent of their emotions. We've got some top tips from award-winning confidence coach Natalie Costa, also known as 'The Child Whisperer', to help you start managing uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety, worry and low self-esteem in your child.

4 tips to help manage your child's emotions

1. Validate their feelings

Whether your child is feeling bored, frustrated or anxious, allow them the space to feel their emotions to tell you why they might be feeling this way.

You can also help validate their feelings by reframing your words.  It can be tempting to say things like 'don't be upset', but by reframing your words to "I can see you're having a tough time right now because of..." or "It's ok to feel frustrated because...", you're letting them know that you get it. In turn, this helps them feel seen, heard and understood too.

2. Personify their feelings

Personifying your child's emotions into characters can help create space between them and their feelings.    This helps them acknowledge that those feelings are present but that they don't need to be completely consumed by them, and most importantly, that they don't have to believe every thought they think.  For example, if your child is worried about a test, try saying something like, "It looks like Mr Worry-Head is here with us. What is he trying to tell you?"   Keep the characters fun and playful by encouraging your child to come up with a silly voice and name - the funnier, the better!

3. Use self-soothing tools

When it all gets too much, you can help your child learn practical self-soothing tools to get them back to a space of calm.   One exercise you can try is 'Take Five' deep belly breathing. This exercise is just as effective for adults to try, so give it a go with your child too.

Hold out one hand and stretch it out like a star.

With your pointer finger on your other hand, slowly trace up and around to the top of your thumb and take a deep breath in through your nose and into your belly.

Then, as you trace down to the bottom of your next finger, slowly breath out .

Keep going all the way, tracing around each finger and taking deep breaths in and slowly breathing out.

4. Use yourself as a role model

Often as parents, we are learning alongside our children. Remember to be gentle with yourself. Giving yourself the space to feel your emotions and practicing self-soothing tools will not only help you mentally, but it will also help model healthy behaviors and strengthen your connection with your child.

Go on a 'Feelings Scavenger Hunt'

Our feelings are like visitors and we have many visitors in a day. Go on a scavenger hunt and try to see how many visitors you notice in a day.   Who comes to visit you in the morning when you wake up? Who do you notice when you have to do your learning? Who decides to hang around at lunchtime?   Draw and create a character for each different feeling that you notice. At the end of the day you may be surprised at how many came to visit!

Create a 'Calm Down Box'

Spend time talking to your child to find out what helps them feel calm and create a 'calm-down box'.   In the box, include a collection of personal items or tools that will help them in those moments when feelings become really big.   Some great items to include are, squishy putty or slime to release tension; a glitter jar to shake; paper and pencils to draw their feelings; their favorite book; a soft toy to use when they're doing their deep breathing, or even a football or skipping rope to get some fresh air.   Decorate the box with your child, including some positive words of affirmation.

Video Transcript Video Transcript

Natasha - ''I would like to ask the experts how they could help me with Rishi's emotions?''

Rishi - ''I'm bored I want to go in the garden.''

Natasha - ''I really worry about his wellbeing.''

Natalie - ''As parents we can all recognise these shifts in our children, just like Natasha's family here. One of the first things id suggest is to allow your child the space to feel their emotions, whether it is that they're feeling frustrated, bored or worried you want to try and validate their feelings - of course it may be tempting to say things like, ''don't get upset'' or ''don't worry, you'll be fine'' because we naturally want to help and protect them, but when we do this we miss an important opportunity to really connect with our children. So instead, try to reframe your words and say things like ''I can see you're having a tough time right now'' because we have to do our homework or ''its ok to feel frustrated because you can't go outside for longer'' by doing this you're letting them know that you get it, you understand, and this helps them to feel heard and understood too.''

Natalie - ''Another useful tip when it comes to managing some of the more uncomfortable feelings - such as feeling frustration when things feel too much, is to help your child learn self-soothing tools and one of my favourite exercises is 'take 5'. To use take 5 breathing hold out one hand and stretch it out like a star with your pointer finger on the other hand slowly trace up your thumb and take a deep breath in through your nose and into your belly and as you trace down your finger slowly breathe out so keep going all the way taking those deep breaths in and slowly breathing out. Take 5 breathing is brilliant it helps them to step out of the worry and overwhelm and brings them back to that space of calm.''

Natalie - ''When it comes to managing worry, feelings of frustration or boredom - help your child personify their feeling by creating it into a character. Keep this fun and playful, encourage them to give it a silly name and a voice, the funnier the better. So, when your child is worried about something like a test, you can help them create some space between them and their feelings by saying something like ''Oh it seems like 'Mr worry potato head' is here with us what's it trying to tell you?''

Natasha - ''What would your character be if they were helping you do your homework?''

Rishi - ''Super Mario!''

Natalie - ''By personifying their feeling they begin to recognise that they can think their thoughts, but they are not their thoughts and most importantly, they don't have to believe every thought they think.''

Rishi - ''He can give me a mushroom so I can handwrite neater cause I'm bigger.''

Natalie - ''Both you and your child can learn these tools together helping to strengthen your connection too.''

Natasha - ''How do you feel after doing that?''

Rishi and Sienna - ''Relaxed.''

Natasha - ''Yeah do you feel nice and calm now?''

Sienna - ''Yeah and we're cuddling mummy.''

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How can I talk to my kids about their emotions? - The Super Tutors - BBC Bitesize

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Natalie Costa, aka 'The Child Whisperer', explains how you can talk to your child about their feelings and manage their emotions.

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Picture the scene: your child comes out of school and the teacher says they’ve behaved like the perfect child all day, but the moment you get home they have a complete meltdown. Your child screams, shouts, lashes out, sulks or generally acts in an unruly manner.

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Picture the scene: your child comes out of school and the teacher says they've behaved like the perfect child all day, but the moment you get home they have a complete meltdown. Your child screams, shouts, lashes out, sulks or generally acts in an unruly manner.
If that scene is familiar to you, you're not alone. This type of behaviour is what some psychologists refer to as 'after-school restraint collapse' and it's not unusual. It happens because your child has been busy managing their emotions all day as they navigate the complexities of school life.

When they get home, that's their safe space to let it all out!

So, now you know what it is, what can you actually do about it? Parents' Toolkit has been speaking to educational and child psychologist Dr Anisa-Ree Moses, for some tips on how to handle these outburst of emotions after-school.

1. Understand how hard school can be for some children

Dr Anisa-Ree Moses says that children can feel emotional, physical and mental exhaustion at the end of the school day. They have been trying to manage a mix of things like learning, social expectations, their own growing social awareness and all the feedback they're getting from teachers and peers.

"When they come out of that environment a pressure valve is released. If kids feel safe to express themselves, they will do so!"

The transition from school to home can also be challenging for some children: "Some kids may have difficulty separating from their parents. It's a relief when they see them, because their parent or carer represents a level of safety, but they're frustrated at the same time - the child wants them but is finding connection difficult at that moment. It's a positive reunion but it's also really emotional and can be hard for some children to channel."

Dr Moses adds that it can be particularly difficult for neurodiverse children who are coping with sensory sensitivities and the effort of containing a lot of emotions. When they come out of school they often can't hold it all in any longer.

For older children, she also says the transition home can be tricky too. They need space and time after school - they might not want to talk to you about it or will go to their room for a bit first.

Dr Moses suggests having a think about what your child needs when they come out of school.
"Do they need to go and run around the school playground a few times and let go for a bit before they walk home? Do they need movement or do they need a healthy snack? Or quiet time alone with no music or no chatting on the way home in the car or bus?"
It will be different for different kids, but Dr Moses suggests trying to be quiet on the walk or ride home.
"Connect with your child. Not by asking 'how was your day?' but through genuine emotional connection. You could say 'I'm so happy to see you, I'm glad we get to go home together, it made me happy coming out of school this way'. Being calm and using supportive words is important for your children."

She adds: "Include some downtime rather than moving straight on to homework or out to a club, so that your child can decompress. They might enjoy their clubs but still feel anxious, so build in downtime first and make their routine clear, visual and written down if they need that. You can also ask them what will help, for example drawing, reading a book or even just relaxing for a bit. Do it with them and help them to see they can do things to support themselves."

"Be understanding of their emotions - help them feel listened to if they want to talk about what's gone on, or be angry."
"You could say 'I can see you're shouting. I can see you want to be really loud, maybe let's go to the park on the way home'. Validate how they feel rather than try and control it. If they are impolite in the moment, come back to that later - talking at that moment won't help."

"Help them feel listened to and respected and make a genuine connection."
Dr Moses says the after-school 'meltdown' is an expression of emotion that often comes out physically. As parents you can recognise and label it so your child can see if for what it is.
"For example, 'I can see you are kicking the bin, I can see you're clenched and red, I can hear you're shouting and that's making me think you're angry, so I want to help you. However, here's not the safest place to do that, let's go to the park, etc.'"

"Build their emotional vocabulary and link it to the emotion - then they can tell you what they're feeling. You can say things like 'I want to help you. I can't do that when you're screaming. Let's take a deep breath, both of us.' Acknowledging it helps children to not feel alone."
With older children, Dr Moses says it's often more about them not wanting to talk or engage in any discussion about school.
"Especially for those who see school and home as two completely separate things. Just encourage them to build their emotional vocabulary, and be interested in what's happening in general in their life."

She adds: "Questions like 'how was your day?' will get a grunt or 'it's fine'. Think about what you are trying to find out. Can you remember an assignment they had or what they were going to be talking about with their friends? And connect by saying 'I'm happy to see you and hope you've had a good day' until they feel ready to come and have a conversation. Then offer yourself as being there, offer yourself as someone who wants to help and is interested in what's going on.

"Help them feel listened to and respected and make a genuine connection."

Dr Moses says your child might also be upset when they come out of school if there were any difficulties that day that weren't addressed, or there's something unresolved that's happened.

If your child's behaviour after school changes or is different to what's usual for them, try and find out if there are things happening during the school day that are affecting them.

"Think about whether you need a home-school communication book, so that you know whether what's been happening in school could trigger what happens at home. Information from school can help parents know how to approach a situation and whether there's something that needs resolving."

Connection is a great way for your child to know they're loved and that you're there for them, no matter what.
It could be snuggling up in bed, reading a book together, playing a quick game, or just having a chat.

Dr Moses suggests thinking about what your morning routine is like: "Is there anything you can build in there that can help them feel connected to you? I know this can be hard, I know how frustrating and annoying school runs can be! Let them know you're looking forward to seeing them later, just for who they are, not for what they've achieved."

She adds: "If your child is finding separation difficult, can you give them a note or something of yours to have in school? For some children, knowing that Mum or Dad is a phone call away and it won't be withheld from them helps them more.

"Also think about whether you have conversations about emotion at home. It's about helping your children with emotional literacy, building resilience and problem-solving skills, as well as building in transitioning - learning how to make things more predictable so that transitions are not as big and scary. Children are better able to manage their emotions if they know what's going to happen."

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Five tips on how to handle the after-school 'meltdown' or 'restraint collapse'

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
'After-school restraint collapse' isn't unusual. Your child has been busy managing their emotions all day and when they get home, it's time to let it all out! Here are some expert tips on how to cope as a parent.

# data[].attributes.body
Picture the scene: your child comes out of school and the teacher says they’ve behaved like the perfect child all day, but the moment you get home they have a complete meltdown. Your child screams, shouts, lashes out, sulks or generally acts in an unruly manner.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Picture the scene: your child comes out of school and the teacher says they've behaved like the perfect child all day, but the moment you get home they have a complete meltdown. Your child screams, shouts, lashes out, sulks or generally acts in an unruly manner.
If that scene is familiar to you, you're not alone. This type of behaviour is what some psychologists refer to as 'after-school restraint collapse' and it's not unusual. It happens because your child has been busy managing their emotions all day as they navigate the complexities of school life.

When they get home, that's their safe space to let it all out!

So, now you know what it is, what can you actually do about it? Parents' Toolkit has been speaking to educational and child psychologist Dr Anisa-Ree Moses, for some tips on how to handle these outburst of emotions after-school.

1. Understand how hard school can be for some children

Dr Anisa-Ree Moses says that children can feel emotional, physical and mental exhaustion at the end of the school day. They have been trying to manage a mix of things like learning, social expectations, their own growing social awareness and all the feedback they're getting from teachers and peers.

"When they come out of that environment a pressure valve is released. If kids feel safe to express themselves, they will do so!"

The transition from school to home can also be challenging for some children: "Some kids may have difficulty separating from their parents. It's a relief when they see them, because their parent or carer represents a level of safety, but they're frustrated at the same time - the child wants them but is finding connection difficult at that moment. It's a positive reunion but it's also really emotional and can be hard for some children to channel."

Dr Moses adds that it can be particularly difficult for neurodiverse children who are coping with sensory sensitivities and the effort of containing a lot of emotions. When they come out of school they often can't hold it all in any longer.

For older children, she also says the transition home can be tricky too. They need space and time after school - they might not want to talk to you about it or will go to their room for a bit first.

Dr Moses suggests having a think about what your child needs when they come out of school.
"Do they need to go and run around the school playground a few times and let go for a bit before they walk home? Do they need movement or do they need a healthy snack? Or quiet time alone with no music or no chatting on the way home in the car or bus?"
It will be different for different kids, but Dr Moses suggests trying to be quiet on the walk or ride home.
"Connect with your child. Not by asking 'how was your day?' but through genuine emotional connection. You could say 'I'm so happy to see you, I'm glad we get to go home together, it made me happy coming out of school this way'. Being calm and using supportive words is important for your children."

She adds: "Include some downtime rather than moving straight on to homework or out to a club, so that your child can decompress. They might enjoy their clubs but still feel anxious, so build in downtime first and make their routine clear, visual and written down if they need that. You can also ask them what will help, for example drawing, reading a book or even just relaxing for a bit. Do it with them and help them to see they can do things to support themselves."

"Be understanding of their emotions - help them feel listened to if they want to talk about what's gone on, or be angry."
"You could say 'I can see you're shouting. I can see you want to be really loud, maybe let's go to the park on the way home'. Validate how they feel rather than try and control it. If they are impolite in the moment, come back to that later - talking at that moment won't help."

"Help them feel listened to and respected and make a genuine connection."
Dr Moses says the after-school 'meltdown' is an expression of emotion that often comes out physically. As parents you can recognise and label it so your child can see if for what it is.
"For example, 'I can see you are kicking the bin, I can see you're clenched and red, I can hear you're shouting and that's making me think you're angry, so I want to help you. However, here's not the safest place to do that, let's go to the park, etc.'"

"Build their emotional vocabulary and link it to the emotion - then they can tell you what they're feeling. You can say things like 'I want to help you. I can't do that when you're screaming. Let's take a deep breath, both of us.' Acknowledging it helps children to not feel alone."
With older children, Dr Moses says it's often more about them not wanting to talk or engage in any discussion about school.
"Especially for those who see school and home as two completely separate things. Just encourage them to build their emotional vocabulary, and be interested in what's happening in general in their life."

She adds: "Questions like 'how was your day?' will get a grunt or 'it's fine'. Think about what you are trying to find out. Can you remember an assignment they had or what they were going to be talking about with their friends? And connect by saying 'I'm happy to see you and hope you've had a good day' until they feel ready to come and have a conversation. Then offer yourself as being there, offer yourself as someone who wants to help and is interested in what's going on.

"Help them feel listened to and respected and make a genuine connection."

Dr Moses says your child might also be upset when they come out of school if there were any difficulties that day that weren't addressed, or there's something unresolved that's happened.

If your child's behaviour after school changes or is different to what's usual for them, try and find out if there are things happening during the school day that are affecting them.

"Think about whether you need a home-school communication book, so that you know whether what's been happening in school could trigger what happens at home. Information from school can help parents know how to approach a situation and whether there's something that needs resolving."

Connection is a great way for your child to know they're loved and that you're there for them, no matter what.
It could be snuggling up in bed, reading a book together, playing a quick game, or just having a chat.

Dr Moses suggests thinking about what your morning routine is like: "Is there anything you can build in there that can help them feel connected to you? I know this can be hard, I know how frustrating and annoying school runs can be! Let them know you're looking forward to seeing them later, just for who they are, not for what they've achieved."

She adds: "If your child is finding separation difficult, can you give them a note or something of yours to have in school? For some children, knowing that Mum or Dad is a phone call away and it won't be withheld from them helps them more.

"Also think about whether you have conversations about emotion at home. It's about helping your children with emotional literacy, building resilience and problem-solving skills, as well as building in transitioning - learning how to make things more predictable so that transitions are not as big and scary. Children are better able to manage their emotions if they know what's going to happen."

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Five tips on how to handle the after-school 'meltdown' or 'restraint collapse'

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
'After-school restraint collapse' isn't unusual. Your child has been busy managing their emotions all day and when they get home, it's time to let it all out! Here are some expert tips on how to cope as a parent.

# data[].attributes.body
Wellbeing tips for parents to help you support a healthy, happy childhood - with advice on food, sleep, mindfulness, as well as ways to look after you and your child's mental health.

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Wellbeing - BBC Parents' Toolkit - BBC Bitesize

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Wellbeing tips for parents to help you support a healthy, happy childhood - with advice on food, sleep, mindfulness, as well as ways to look after you and your child's mental health.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
BBC Bitesize Parents' Toolkit has spoken to parents on a UK-wide panel about their child's future career, and what they'd encourage them to think about when choosing their GCSE and Nationals options at school.
Parents were asked whether they talk to their child about jobs and what they might want to do when they grow up, what jobs they think will be important in the future, and whether they'd like their child to follow in their footsteps. Responses were mixed, with some parents wanting their children to choose subject options they enjoy, and others wanting their child to think about where their options might lead them...

Whatever their age, do you talk to your child about jobs and things they might want to do when they grow up?

"I always tell them to try to enter a career that interests them, as they will find that more satisfying." - Helen, mum of 17-year-old

The majority - but not all - of parents on our panel have had some kind of conversation with their child about jobs and careers.

Hakim has three children, one of whom is currently 14.

He says: "When it comes to jobs and the future careers of the kids, it's always an interesting topic. Kids think they can do whatever they desire and dream of, but the truth of life and external factors will sometimes change the path of their career, so yes a conversation and preparation for the real world is a must-have with our kids."

Alison has a 16-year-old daughter: "It was easier when they were at playschool and primary school and it was all just theoretical, but when they became teenagers they were more reluctant. I don't talk about it much as it seems pressurising and I know they will have careers support and interviews about their plans at school."

Helen has a 17-year-old girl: "I've always tried to help them make educational choices that are linked to things they enjoy, as I always tell them to try to enter a career that interests them, as they will find that more satisfying."

What jobs has your child suggested they may want to do when they grow up and leave school?

One is wanting to join the police. One would like to look into project management. One would like to be an explorer and the youngest would like to be a mermaid." - Louise, mum of four

Angela's 16-year-old is studying for his Highers and isn't sure what he wants to do yet, but her eight-year-old son wants to be a dentist, "because apparently dentists have mansions," and earn extra money playing the bagpipes at weddings.

Kim's 15-year-old daughter wants to be aeroplane cabin crew, whereas Louise's four girls want to be "in the police, in project management, an explorer, and a mermaid"!

Broadly, when they were younger, children from our parents' panel wanted to be things like a vet, hairdresser, footballer, YouTuber, chef, nurse and doctor, whereas when they got towards GCSE options and then college age, things like art, animation, psychology, accounting, law and engineering also came into the mix.

Bitesize Careers: Top ten jobs teenager want when they're older.

How do you feel about introducing the topic of work to your child?

I generally feel unconfident talking about work as I never have discovered my dream job or had an amazing career." - Alison

Some parents on our panel found it easier than others to talk to their child about work, partly due to their own experiences.

Emma says of her 14-year-old: "She knows a lot about work and what her parents do. It amazes me that some of the children at her school don't even know what their parents do for a job. I have a feeling she will end up owning her own business as I have my own business. I think she would like to be her own boss."

Dad-of-three Matthew adds: "One of my children talked about being an engineer of some kind. They are in their second year and will be picking their subjects soon and they are going to pick engineer-based subjects."

GCSE and National 5s options time was also an anxious period for some parents on our panel.

Lindsay has a 16-year-old boy: "He has shown interest [in the world of work] but not much. He's just concentrating on his GCSEs. We've spoken about the different courses he can do after college and been to look around the campus. It's nerve-wracking as he's only 16 and unsure what he wants to do."

What would you encourage your child to think about when preparing to pick their options?

"At school age, children need guidance and support to help them achieve their dreams." - Jasmine, mum of six-year-old

Several respondents said they would talk to their child about their options, but that ultimately the decision was down to their child. Many parents, like Ian, Lindsay, Victoria and Sherlene were keen for their child to choose something they enjoy because "they're more likely to succeed" and "it's hard enough for kids nowadays".

However, other parents on our panel wanted to discuss the pros and cons of their child's GCSE options with them, and how those choices may relate to a future career.

Richard says: "I would like to help and advise as I never really had the discussion with my parents. I don't want to be too pushy but I want them to understand what it will take to achieve what they want to do rather than start something that they don't want to finish and have wasted their time."

Jasmine expands: "I think I would encourage my daughter to think about what job/type of job she would want to do first and then help her decide on suitable options to pick at school that would help her get that job. I would never tell her what to do but I would certainly 'guide her'. At school age, children need guidance and support to help them achieve their dreams."

Watch our video with careers coach Mark Anderson: How to support your teen as they decide on their future career

What jobs do you think will be important in the future?

All the practical jobs - farming, building, plumbing and the like - will still be essential" - Ben, dad of a six-year-old boy.

Many parents on our panel felt technology, AI and computing would all be important in future jobs. Jermaine has two primary-aged children, and wants "to introduce my kids into coding and getting them computer literate." But many also felt jobs involving people would not disappear, particularly those in trades, health and social services. Louise believes we will always need manual jobs: "Engineers, shelf stackers, emergency services, educators, hospital staff." And Jade agrees that "great solicitors, nurses and doctors will never be out of work".

Jobs of the future: What will our children be doing in 2040?

The majority on our parents panel, when asked whether they'd like their child to follow in their footsteps, said no. The main reasons being they wanted their child to follow their own interests, they wanted them to have a more rewarding or prosperous career, or because they themselves were dissatisfied with how their careers had panned out.

Dilan: "I would like my child to follow his dreams and make sure he gets a good education and chooses a good career."

Sherlene: "I would not mind If my child followed a career in public service as I have."

Michael: "I would like my son to just focus on being a good hard-working person. Along that journey he'll find his calling."

Top tips for talking to your child about their options

Michelle Rea is from Talking Futures, an online resource that helps parents talk to children about education and careers options. She says when it comes to GCSE and Nationals options time, parents can be "anxious about saying and doing the right thing". These are her top tips for starting a conversation with your child:
1. Discuss passions
"Start a conversation by asking your child a question about themselves: favourite subject, teacher, or thing they like to do outside of school for example. This will make them feel heard and start things on a positive note."Encouraging young people to explore how their passions could apply to a selection of jobs or careers is a good way to prioritise subject choices... without restricting what success would look like for that child.
2. Pick your moment
"Try and pick a time when your child is more relaxed, perhaps on a car journey, at the weekend or over dinner. Research and psychology support that when children are eating their favourite foods, they're happier, more relaxed, and more engaged in conversations.
3. Keep the conversation relaxed and informal
"The Conversations Cards tool on the Talking Futures website... provides conversation starters for parents to use to get teenagers thinking about what they want to do in the future. Some children think they know exactly what they want to do as a job when they're older and others don't - it's important to remind them that this is ok too.
4. Don't push your own opinion:
"The temptation is to stick with what we feel most confident talking to our child about and that's usually what we know and have experienced ourselves. However, the career landscape and the routes to getting into different careers have changed since parents were at school. It's important to remember that having meaningful and useful career conversations doesn't mean you need to have all the answers, and it's OK if you don't know. By exploring education and career options together, parents can help their child find the right next step for them."

Talking Futures have their Conversations Cards and further advice on talking to your child about their future career.

Bitesize Careers has lots of suggestions and personal stories on the world of work for your child to explore, including these articles:

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Dear Parents' Toolkit: How do you talk to your child about their GCSE options? Parents share their thoughts and experiences. - BBC Bitesize

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Parents share their thoughts in the latest Parents' Toolkit Survey ahead of choosing GCSE options in 2024

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Activities, advice and personal stories about parenting and special educational needs and disabilities to help you support your family.

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SEND tips and advice - BBC Parents' Toolkit - BBC Bitesize

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Activities, advice and personal stories about parenting and special educational needs and disabilities to help you support your family.

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Advice for parents who have a child starting secondary school this year, with tips on the emotional and practical sides of the transition.

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Starting secondary school - BBC Parents’ Toolkit - BBC Bitesize

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Advice for parents who have a child starting secondary school this year, with tips on the emotional and practical sides of the transition.

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Advice and games to help you and your child prepare for primary school, then thrive during their first year.

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Starting primary school - BBC Parents' Toolkit - BBC Bitesize

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Advice and games to help you and your child prepare for primary school, then thrive during their first year.

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Parenting advice from our child mental health experts

Practical tips to support children’s wellbeing and behaviour

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Parenting Smart offers practical advice for parents and carers of children aged 5-11. All of our content is created by Place2Be's parenting experts. It's based on evidence and their experiences working with children, young people and their families.

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Parenting advice from our child mental health experts

Practical tips to support children’s wellbeing and behaviour

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Parenting Smart offers practical advice for parents and carers of children aged 5-11. All of our content is created by Place2Be's parenting experts. It's based on evidence and their experiences working with children, young people and their families.

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Place 2 Be: Improving Children's Mental Health

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Place 2 Be: Improving Children's Mental Health

# data[].attributes.body
Place2Be is a children and young people's mental health charity with almost 30 years' experience working with pupils, families and staff in UK schools.

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Place2Be is a children and young people's mental health charity with almost 30 years' experience working with pupils, families and staff in UK schools.

We provide mental health support in schools through one-to-one and group counselling using tried and tested methods backed by research. In addition, we also offer expert training and professional qualifications.

Why it's important

1 in 5

children and young people have a probable mental health condition, and many continue to have these problems into adulthood.

50%

of those with lifetime mental health problems first experience symptoms by the age of 14.

1 in 10
boys aged 5-19 with a mental health condition are suspended in some form from school.

Find out more about our work

How we help

Mental health support in schools

Our in-school mental health service supports the wellbeing of pupils, families and staff.
Find out more

Our mental health services in schools

We provide mental health services in schools that contribute to a whole-school approach to mental health.
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Counselling training and placements

Gain experience and skills with our child counselling training and placements.
Find out more

Place2Be is part of our school family. It is more than an office, more than a therapy room and more than a collection of counsellors.

Glyn Ellis - Headteacher, Haslingden Primary School

My daughter had become a different person - one we didn't recognise - but since counselling we see signs of our old loving daughter coming back.

Parent

If you have problems or worries you get a chance to talk to a person you trust. When I grow up I want to help children like Place2Be helps children.

Eight-year-old girl

Your support makes it possible

Thousands of vulnerable children and families depend on our work every single day. We simply cannot reach them without your help. There are so many ways to lend your support.

Place2Be's counselling service in primary schools has the potential to return £8 to society by improving long-term outcomes for each child.

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How you can help

Fundraise for us

Raise money to transform children and young people's mental health. Browse ideas, tips and advice.

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Take part in an event

Run, cycle, walk. Trek to great heights or tackle some muddy obstacles. Take a look at our fundraising events.

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Partner with us

See how your organisation can help us to support more children, families and school staff across the UK.

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Our impact

In the last school year

6,901

pupils were supported through one-to-one counselling.

33,327

pupils booked their own appointments o speak to our mental health professional.

After one-to-one counselling with Place2Be

76%

of children with severe difficulties show an improvement in mental health, according to parents.

64%

of pupils whose difficulties impacted their learning in class improved, according to teachers.

75%

of children and young people found it easier to make and keep friends, according to parents and carers.

Place2Be: mental health support in schools

Hear from children and teachers about the impact of Place2Be.

News & blogs

Eating Disorders in Children and Young People: a major public health concern

Clara Faria and Professor Tamsin Ford reflect on the impact of eating disorders on children and young people's mental health.

Read more

New report from NHS England shows increase in children experiencing mental health difficulties

Published today, the report reveals that 1 in 5 children and young people now have a probable mental health condition.

Read more

The BAFTA Roadshow with Place2Be arrives in North-West London

BAFTA and Place2Be team up to bring the BAFTA Roadshow to North-West London.

Read more

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Improving children's and young people's mental health - Place2Be

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Place2Be provides mental health counselling support and training to schools to improve the emotional wellbeing of children, young people, families, teachers and staff.

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Norfolk Eating Disorders Association was established in 1979 and became a registered charity in 1991. We relaunched as Eating Matters in 2012 and became a CIO from April 2022 . Norwich is our base, but we also have counsellors working in West Norfolk, North Norfolk and South Norfolk working with adults and young people aged 11+.

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"Amazing staff that really understand and listen. Really helpful, they work at your pace, not theirs. Very kind and accommodating, I always feel better afterwards. The staff have helped me keep on the straight and narrow"

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"Amazing staff that really understand and listen. Really helpful, they work at your pace, not theirs. Very kind and accommodating, I always feel better afterwards. The staff have helped me keep on the straight and narrow"

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Online and on the phone support for any age child, at any time.

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On Thursday 30 November from 2:30am - 7:30am, you won't be able to contact Childline whilst we do some important maintenance to our systems. This means that 1-2-1 chats, calling and messages to Childline will be unavailable. You'll still be able to use the Childline website for advice and information.

If you're in danger or it's an emergency, you should always call 999

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Get help and advice about a wide range of issues, call us on 0800 1111, talk to a counsellor online, send Childline an email or post on the message boards.

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Whatever you're going through, a Samaritan will face it with you. We're here 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

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Samaritans works to make sure there's always someone there for anyone who needs someone. Read more.

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Nip in the Bud® works with mental health professionals of the highest standing to produce FREE short evidence-based films and fact sheets to help parents, educationalists and others working with children to recognise potential mental health conditions.

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Learning about Children's Mental Health through Film

Nip in the Bud is regularly adding new FREE resources - short films and fact sheets - to raise mental health awareness among primary school staff, teacher trainees, anyone working with children, parents, carers and young people.

Early intervention is key, so the negative impacts of these conditions can be 'nipped in the bud' and so reduce the risk of them becoming entrenched. Our films cover Expert Information on different conditions, Real Life Experience, Emotional Wellbeing and Coping with the Aftermath of Covid.

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Nip in the Bud | Child Mental Health Resources for Parents and Teachers

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Nip in the Bud® works with mental health professionals of the highest standing to produce FREE short evidence-based films and fact sheets to help parents, educationalists and others working with children to recognise potential mental health conditions. The goal is to increase the prospects of early intervention and to avoid those conditions becoming more serious in later years.