# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Advice for parents or carers of LGBT+ young people.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Topics mentioned: sexuality, how to talk to your child about mental health

I don't think that our eldest son had planned on coming out when he did.

We were having an argument about putting the 'Find my iPhone' app on his phone so we could track him down in case of an emergency. Soon the row escalated into a heated debate about his human rights, and the next thing he blurted out:
"I've got something to tell you. I am gay."
As a parent, however prepared you might be for an announcement of this kind, you can never be totally sure how you are going to react.

Instinctively, I threw my arms around him, told him how proud I was of him and said that we didn't care who he loved as we would always love him. I felt a huge swathe of emotions, but what really broke my heart was the knowledge that he'd known for a while and hadn't been able to share his feelings with anyone. The idea that he had been going through his 'journey' alone was heart-breaking to hear.

He then told his Dad, who reacted exactly as I had hoped and, after more hugs and encouraging words, our son brought the conversation to a close with a 'By the way, what's for dinner?'

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Supporting A Young LGBTQ+ Person When They Come Out

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Kate shares what happened when her son came out as gay, how she felt as a mother and what she learnt about how to support him.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
It's okay to reach out for help. Your situation is unique and no parent has all the answers. We all need a little extra support sometimes, and we hear from parents and carers just like you all the time.

So, if you're worried about the mental health and wellbeing of a child or young person up to the age of 25, you can chat to us by phone, email or webchat.

Our Parents Helpline is also accessible for those who are hard of hearing or speak English as an additional language. If English is not your first or preferred language, we can arrange for a language translator to support you on a call with one of our helpline advisers. Or if you would like to use our webchat or email service, we offer a digital translation service.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Parents Mental Health Support | Advice for Your Child

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Practical tips, advice and where you can get help if your child or teenager is struggling with their mood, feelings, or their behaviour seems different.

# data[].attributes.body
YoungMinds offer tailored information, advice and support to parents and carers who are concerned about their child or young person’s mental health.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Parents Helpline | Mental Health Help for Your Child

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The YoungMinds Parents Helpline, Webchat and Email provide support and help for parents and carers worried about their child’s mental health and wellbeing.

# data[].attributes.body
Parents' section of the NSPCC website

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Explore expert support and advice for every parenting challenge. Whether in calm or chaos, we guide parents and carers through the ups and downs.

# data[].attributes.body
Harmless is a Nottinghamshire-based self-harm and suicide prevention

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
I was unsure of coming to Harmless, but my wife really wanted me to give it a go - and within moments, I really felt listened to. I love that while I was the focus, there was also support available for my wife too You can make a referral into the service click here Alternatively, [...]

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Campaigning for change

We fight to change laws to make society safer for children. Our Wild West Web campaign has pushed for new regulations through the Online Safety Bill to make sure websites, apps and games are safe for children to use. But the draft Bill doesn't go far enough to protect children.
Help us end the Wild West Web

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Understanding online safety is tricky for all ages - we have advice and guides to help you learn about staying safe online as a family.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
This series of short films for secondary schools uses animation and real life case studies to explore key issues around digital literacy and online safety.
Below you'll find short films about fake news, live streaming, pornography, mental wellbeing, copyright and ownership, sensitive pictures, online gaming, cyber-bullying, digital footprints, and online security.

This series touches on elements of PSHE, citizenship and computing at GCSE in England, Wales and Northern Ireland and National 4 and 5 in Scotland.
Due to the sensitive nature of the subject matter, we strongly advise teacher viewing before watching with your students.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
This series of short films for secondary schools uses animation and real life case studies to explore key issues around digital literacy and online safety.

# data[].attributes.body
Child Exploitation and Online Protection Command (CEOP) supports with online sexual abuse

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Are you being bullied?

If you are being bullied, or you are not ready to make a report to CEOP, you can talk to Childline anonymously online or on the phone - No worry is too big or too small.

Visit Childline

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Are you being bullied? If you are being bullied, or you are not ready to make a report to CEOP, you can talk to Childline anonymously online or on the phone - No worry is too big or too small. Visit Childline

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
If you've experienced or witnessed harm online we can help. Report Harmful Content can help you to report harmful content online by providing up to date information on community standards and direct links to the correct reporting facilities across multiple platforms

Under 18?
Click here for child friendly advice Get advice on how to report abuse and harassment in sport
Close popup boxes

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.authors[].name
Designed and Developed by South West Grid for Learning (https://swgfl.org.uk/)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Report Harmful Content - We Help You Remove Content

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Helping anyone who comes across harmful content online

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.provider_name
Hampshire and Isle of Wight Healthcare Sexual Health

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
This page provides guidance and advice on talking to your child about relationships and sex.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Read our 8 top tips to help you teach about sex and relationships at home and find resources to support you.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Introduction

It's important that everyone who works with children and young people has a good understanding of how children develop sexually. This can help you recognise which sexual behaviours are developmentally typical and identify if a child is displaying behaviour that is problematic or harmful.

We've put together some information about the stages of typical sexual development and behaviour for different age groups. We've included examples of behaviour that is common and uncommon, and information about what to do if you are worried that a child is displaying problematic or harmful sexual behaviour.

Stages of child sexual development

All children go through phases of sexual development. Just like every other part of growing up, some children mature sooner or later than others. For example, some children may have developmental delays whilst others may reach puberty early.

In general, typical sexual behaviour should be:

playful and curious, not aggressive or angry (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013)

displayed towards children of a similar age, stage of development and physical size, who know each other well (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN), 2009)

voluntary and consensual (NCTSN, 2009).

Typical sexual behaviour should not cause physical or emotional harm to anybody involved (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013).

The tabs to the left contain some examples of typical sexual behaviour for different ages.

Healthy and unhealthy relationships

Learn how to recognise the signs that a young person is in an unhealthy relationship and what action you can take to help them.

Under 5-years-old

Under 5-years-old

At this stage, it's common to notice natural exploratory behaviour emerging when children feel safe and comfortable. This includes:

having no inhibitions about nudity (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

touching their own private parts (NCTSN, 2009; National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault & Family Violence (SECASA), 2017; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

showing curiosity about other people's private parts or naked bodies (Healthy Children, 2019; NCTSN, 2009; National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; SECASA, 2017; Stop It Now, 2020; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

talking about bodily functions, using words like 'poo' and 'wee' (NCTSN, 2009, Virtual Lab School, 2021)

consensually role playing with their peers, exploring different relationships or roles such as 'playing house', 'playing mummies and daddies' or 'playing doctor' (Government of Canada, 2012; National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; Virtual Lab School, 2021).

Very young children can have erections, beginning from birth (Virtual Lab School, 2021).

It is uncommon for younger children to discuss specific sexual acts, use explicit sexual language or have adult-like sexual contact with other people (Stop It Now, 2007).

If you're worried about a child's sexual behaviour, you should act as soon as possible.
> Find out how to recognise and respond if a child is displaying problematic or harmful sexual behaviour

5- to 9-year-olds

5- to 9-year-olds

As children get a little older, it's common to see them displaying behaviour like:

becoming more modest and asking for privacy (Government of Canada, 2012; SECASA, 2017; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

asking questions about sex and relationships, such as what sex is, where babies come from and same-sex relationships (Government of Canada, 2012; NCTSN, 2009; Stop It Now, 2007; Stop It Now, 2020; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

consensually exploring relationships with peers, for example mimicking adult relationships by holding hands with a 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' or giving them a kiss on the cheek (NCTSN, 2009; SECASA, 2017; Stop It Now, 2007).

As children become more aware of social norms and 'rules' around sexualised behaviour, it's common for them to test boundaries. This might include using 'naughty' words they've heard from other people (NCTSN, 2009).

It's uncommon for children aged 5-8 to have adult-like sexual interactions, discuss specific sexual acts or self-stimulate in public (Stop It Now, 2007).

If you're worried about a child's sexual behaviour, you should act as soon as possible.
> Learn more about problematic or harmful sexual behaviour and what to do if a child is displaying it

9- to 13-year-olds

9- to 13-year-olds

During these ages, children begin to get more curious about sex and relationships. They may start to be attracted to other people. Examples of typical sexual behaviour during this stage are:

having or wanting to have a romantic relationship with peers (of the same or different gender) (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

using sexual language, making jokes about sex or discussing sexual acts with peers (SECASA, 2017; Stop It Now, 2007; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

wanting more privacy (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; NCTSN, 2009; SECASA, 2017; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

looking for information about sex in books, online or in the media (this might lead to accidentally finding sexual pictures or videos) (Government of Canada, 2012; National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; NCTSN, 2009; Stop It Now, 2007; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

masturbating in private (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; NCTSN, 2009; SECASA, 2017; Stop It Now, 2007; Stop It Now, 2020; Virtual Lab School, 2021).

It's uncommon for children in this age group to display sexual behaviour in a public place, or regularly display adult-like sexual behaviour such as having oral or genital contact or intercourse (Stop It Now, 2007; 2020).

If you're worried about a child's sexual behaviour, you should act as soon as possible.
> Discover how to identify problematic or harmful sexual behaviour and what you should do in response

13- to 17-year-olds

13- to 17-year-olds

During adolescence, sexual behaviour becomes more private and young people begin to explore their sexual identity. You might notice them:

experimenting sexually and consensually with the same age group (SECASA, 2017; Stop It Now, 2007; Stop It Now, 2020)

looking for information about sex and sexual relationships (Stop It Now, 2007; 2020)

masturbating in private (SECASA, 2017; Stop It Now, 2007; Stop It Now, 2020).

The age of consent to engage in sexual activity in the UK is 16-years-old. However, the law is there to protect children from abuse or exploitation. It is not designed to unnecessary criminalise children.

It is uncommon for adolescents to masturbate in public, or display sexual attraction towards a much younger child (Stop It Now, 2007; 2020).

If you're worried about a child's sexual behaviour, you should act as soon as possible.
> Find out how to identify if a child is displaying problematic or harmful sexual behaviour
Schools, colleges and other education settings play an important role in teaching children and young people about healthy relationships.
> Find out more about how your school or organisation can prevent HSB and peer-on-peer sexual abuse

References and resources

References and resources

References

Government of Canada (2012) When children act out sexually: a guide for parents and teachers. [Accessed 09/06/2021].

Healthy Children (2019) Sexual behaviours in young children: what's normal, what's not?. [Accessed 09/06/2021].

National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) (2009) Sexual development and behaviour in children: information for parents and caregivers (PDF). [Los Angeles]: NCTSN.

National Sexual Violence Resource Centre (2013) An overview of healthy childhood sexual development (PDF). [Alabama] National Children's Advocacy Center.

South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault & Family Violence (SECASA) (2017) Age appropriate sexual behaviours in children and young people: information for carers, professionals and the general public (PDF). East Bentleigh: SECASA.

Stop It Now (2007) Do children sexually abuse other children? Preventing sexual abuse among children and youth (PDF). Massachusetts: Stop It Now.

Stop It Now (2020) Tip sheet: age-appropriate sexual behaviour. [Accessed 09/06/2021].

Virtual Lab School (2021) Understanding normative sexual development & behaviour. [Accessed 09/06/2021].

Resources

Promoting healthy relationships

Provides tips on how you can promote healthy relationships to children of different ages or children who have special educational needs or disabilities. Aimed at the education sector but is also helpful for other sectors.
> Access our tips and guidance
Relationships and sex education (RSE) resources

We've put together a range of resources you can use to teach young people about relationships, health and sex education. Includes resources for children with special educational needs and disabilities.
> View the resources
Harmful sexual behaviour

Provides information on recognising, responding and preventing harmful sexual behaviour in children and young people.
> Learn more about harmful sexual behaviour
Recognising and responding to abuse

Outlines best practice for recognising and responding to abuse or concerns. Includes information about consent, reporting concerns, whistleblowing, mandatory reporting and more.
> Find out more
Podcast episodes

Listen to our short three-part series on responding to harmful sexual behaviour in schools, assessing sexualised behaviour and preventing harmful sexual behaviour.
> See all episodes
Training

We've produced two elearning courses for primary and secondary schools so you can develop your understanding of how to recognise and respond to concerns about harmful sexual behaviour.
> See the courses
Support for parents and carers

Many parents and carers may feel unsure about how to talk to their child or children about sex, sexuality and relationships. You can find advice to share with parents and carers on the NSPCC website.
> Read and share our advice for parents and carers
Support for children and young people

If a child or young person needs confidential help and advice direct them to Childline. Calls to 0800 1111 are free and children can also contact Childline online.

Childline provides information and advice for young people about sex and relationships.

You can also order Childline posters and wallet cards.

Introduction

It's important that everyone who works with children and young people has a good understanding of how children develop sexually. This can help you recognise which sexual behaviours are developmentally typical and identify if a child is displaying behaviour that is problematic or harmful.

We've put together some information about the stages of typical sexual development and behaviour for different age groups. We've included examples of behaviour that is common and uncommon, and information about what to do if you are worried that a child is displaying problematic or harmful sexual behaviour.

Stages of child sexual development

All children go through phases of sexual development. Just like every other part of growing up, some children mature sooner or later than others. For example, some children may have developmental delays whilst others may reach puberty early.

In general, typical sexual behaviour should be:

playful and curious, not aggressive or angry (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013)

displayed towards children of a similar age, stage of development and physical size, who know each other well (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN), 2009)

voluntary and consensual (NCTSN, 2009).

Typical sexual behaviour should not cause physical or emotional harm to anybody involved (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013).

The tabs to the left contain some examples of typical sexual behaviour for different ages.

Healthy and unhealthy relationships

Learn how to recognise the signs that a young person is in an unhealthy relationship and what action you can take to help them.

Under 5-years-old

Under 5-years-old

At this stage, it's common to notice natural exploratory behaviour emerging when children feel safe and comfortable. This includes:

having no inhibitions about nudity (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

touching their own private parts (NCTSN, 2009; National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault & Family Violence (SECASA), 2017; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

showing curiosity about other people's private parts or naked bodies (Healthy Children, 2019; NCTSN, 2009; National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; SECASA, 2017; Stop It Now, 2020; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

talking about bodily functions, using words like 'poo' and 'wee' (NCTSN, 2009, Virtual Lab School, 2021)

consensually role playing with their peers, exploring different relationships or roles such as 'playing house', 'playing mummies and daddies' or 'playing doctor' (Government of Canada, 2012; National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; Virtual Lab School, 2021).

Very young children can have erections, beginning from birth (Virtual Lab School, 2021).

It is uncommon for younger children to discuss specific sexual acts, use explicit sexual language or have adult-like sexual contact with other people (Stop It Now, 2007).

If you're worried about a child's sexual behaviour, you should act as soon as possible.
> Find out how to recognise and respond if a child is displaying problematic or harmful sexual behaviour

5- to 9-year-olds

5- to 9-year-olds

As children get a little older, it's common to see them displaying behaviour like:

becoming more modest and asking for privacy (Government of Canada, 2012; SECASA, 2017; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

asking questions about sex and relationships, such as what sex is, where babies come from and same-sex relationships (Government of Canada, 2012; NCTSN, 2009; Stop It Now, 2007; Stop It Now, 2020; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

consensually exploring relationships with peers, for example mimicking adult relationships by holding hands with a 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' or giving them a kiss on the cheek (NCTSN, 2009; SECASA, 2017; Stop It Now, 2007).

As children become more aware of social norms and 'rules' around sexualised behaviour, it's common for them to test boundaries. This might include using 'naughty' words they've heard from other people (NCTSN, 2009).

It's uncommon for children aged 5-8 to have adult-like sexual interactions, discuss specific sexual acts or self-stimulate in public (Stop It Now, 2007).

If you're worried about a child's sexual behaviour, you should act as soon as possible.
> Learn more about problematic or harmful sexual behaviour and what to do if a child is displaying it

9- to 13-year-olds

9- to 13-year-olds

During these ages, children begin to get more curious about sex and relationships. They may start to be attracted to other people. Examples of typical sexual behaviour during this stage are:

having or wanting to have a romantic relationship with peers (of the same or different gender) (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

using sexual language, making jokes about sex or discussing sexual acts with peers (SECASA, 2017; Stop It Now, 2007; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

wanting more privacy (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; NCTSN, 2009; SECASA, 2017; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

looking for information about sex in books, online or in the media (this might lead to accidentally finding sexual pictures or videos) (Government of Canada, 2012; National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; NCTSN, 2009; Stop It Now, 2007; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

masturbating in private (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; NCTSN, 2009; SECASA, 2017; Stop It Now, 2007; Stop It Now, 2020; Virtual Lab School, 2021).

It's uncommon for children in this age group to display sexual behaviour in a public place, or regularly display adult-like sexual behaviour such as having oral or genital contact or intercourse (Stop It Now, 2007; 2020).

If you're worried about a child's sexual behaviour, you should act as soon as possible.
> Discover how to identify problematic or harmful sexual behaviour and what you should do in response

13- to 17-year-olds

13- to 17-year-olds

During adolescence, sexual behaviour becomes more private and young people begin to explore their sexual identity. You might notice them:

experimenting sexually and consensually with the same age group (SECASA, 2017; Stop It Now, 2007; Stop It Now, 2020)

looking for information about sex and sexual relationships (Stop It Now, 2007; 2020)

masturbating in private (SECASA, 2017; Stop It Now, 2007; Stop It Now, 2020).

The age of consent to engage in sexual activity in the UK is 16-years-old. However, the law is there to protect children from abuse or exploitation. It is not designed to unnecessary criminalise children.

It is uncommon for adolescents to masturbate in public, or display sexual attraction towards a much younger child (Stop It Now, 2007; 2020).

If you're worried about a child's sexual behaviour, you should act as soon as possible.
> Find out how to identify if a child is displaying problematic or harmful sexual behaviour
Schools, colleges and other education settings play an important role in teaching children and young people about healthy relationships.
> Find out more about how your school or organisation can prevent HSB and peer-on-peer sexual abuse

References and resources

References and resources

References

Government of Canada (2012) When children act out sexually: a guide for parents and teachers. [Accessed 09/06/2021].

Healthy Children (2019) Sexual behaviours in young children: what's normal, what's not?. [Accessed 09/06/2021].

National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) (2009) Sexual development and behaviour in children: information for parents and caregivers (PDF). [Los Angeles]: NCTSN.

National Sexual Violence Resource Centre (2013) An overview of healthy childhood sexual development (PDF). [Alabama] National Children's Advocacy Center.

South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault & Family Violence (SECASA) (2017) Age appropriate sexual behaviours in children and young people: information for carers, professionals and the general public (PDF). East Bentleigh: SECASA.

Stop It Now (2007) Do children sexually abuse other children? Preventing sexual abuse among children and youth (PDF). Massachusetts: Stop It Now.

Stop It Now (2020) Tip sheet: age-appropriate sexual behaviour. [Accessed 09/06/2021].

Virtual Lab School (2021) Understanding normative sexual development & behaviour. [Accessed 09/06/2021].

Resources

Promoting healthy relationships

Provides tips on how you can promote healthy relationships to children of different ages or children who have special educational needs or disabilities. Aimed at the education sector but is also helpful for other sectors.
> Access our tips and guidance
Relationships and sex education (RSE) resources

We've put together a range of resources you can use to teach young people about relationships, health and sex education. Includes resources for children with special educational needs and disabilities.
> View the resources
Harmful sexual behaviour

Provides information on recognising, responding and preventing harmful sexual behaviour in children and young people.
> Learn more about harmful sexual behaviour
Recognising and responding to abuse

Outlines best practice for recognising and responding to abuse or concerns. Includes information about consent, reporting concerns, whistleblowing, mandatory reporting and more.
> Find out more
Podcast episodes

Listen to our short three-part series on responding to harmful sexual behaviour in schools, assessing sexualised behaviour and preventing harmful sexual behaviour.
> See all episodes
Training

We've produced two elearning courses for primary and secondary schools so you can develop your understanding of how to recognise and respond to concerns about harmful sexual behaviour.
> See the courses
Support for parents and carers

Many parents and carers may feel unsure about how to talk to their child or children about sex, sexuality and relationships. You can find advice to share with parents and carers on the NSPCC website.
> Read and share our advice for parents and carers
Support for children and young people

If a child or young person needs confidential help and advice direct them to Childline. Calls to 0800 1111 are free and children can also contact Childline online.

Childline provides information and advice for young people about sex and relationships.

You can also order Childline posters and wallet cards.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Sexual development and behaviour in children | NSPCC Learning

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Find out more about developmentally typical sexual development and behaviour in children and how to respond to inappropriate or harmful behaviour.

# data[].attributes.body
This service is one step you can take to help remove online nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit photos and videos taken before you were 18.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
This service is one step you can take to help remove online nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit photos and videos taken before you were 18.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
A parents' toolkit for career conversations

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Talking Futures will help you have informed and constructive conversations with your child about their future.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
A toolkit for parents and carers to help their child at school and with their career

# data[].attributes.body
Communication with your children is key when tackling subjects that might be tricky, including sex

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
It's important that young people have discussions about sex and healthy relationships to help them understand and recognise both positive and negative behaviours. Helping them learn about age-appropriate sex and relationships will make them feel prepared and empowered to make positive choices when they are ready to explore their sexuality.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Tips on how to talk to your children about sex and relationships - Stop It Now

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
It can be difficult to talk to your children about sex and relationships, but in order to keep them safe from harm, it is vital that protective adults are able to have these challenging conversations, and that they know what warning signs look like. Our guide provides parents and carers with information on how to [...]

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Bullying is any persistent behaviour that is intended to hurt someone. It can happen anywhere - including at school, at work, online or at home. Examples of bullying include name-calling, making threats, being violent or aggressive, spreading rumours and undermining, humiliating, excluding or pressuring someone.

While lots of young people experience bullying, it is an incredibly difficult thing to go through and can have a huge effect on your child's mental health and wellbeing. As a parent, it can also feel very challenging and worrying.

The important thing to remember is that it is possible for your child to get through it and feel okay again, and that there are practical steps you can take to address the bullying and its consequences.

While everyone is different, a young person who is being bullied may:

seem low or anxious

seem less confident in themselves

show signs of distress such as feeling upset, teary or panicky

avoid school or refuse to go altogether

often complain of feeling physically unwell

have outbursts of unexplained anger at home

seem withdrawn, isolated and wary of others

have few friendships

make changes in their behaviour, for example dressing very differently or suddenly doing new activities to meet peer pressure

act in a bullying way towards others

have unexplained physical injuries such as bruises or scratches

do less well at school

eat and/or sleep more or less than usual

use things like self-harm or drugs and alcohol to cope with difficult feelings

Underneath these behaviours, a child who is being bullied may be frightened or anxious, lonely, isolated, worthless, on-edge or desperate about the situation they're facing.

Tips for starting a conversation with your child

Read through the school's anti-bullying policy. This should set out how they need to respond and support your child. It is usually on the school's website, but if not, ask a member of staff to send it to you.

If your child is being bullied by peers from school but it's happening outside of school hours or online, remember that head teachers of state schools have the legal power to make sure their pupils behave outside of school premises - and that the school should still be involved.

Organise a meeting with your child's teacher or form tutor as soon as possible. Agree together on the strategies you will use to support your child and make sure the bullying stops. It's helpful to use your evidence log during the meeting if you have one. Take notes and then follow up afterwards by email to summarise what you've agreed, and to arrange another meeting for a few weeks' time to discuss progress and any next steps. Having an email trail of your communication with the school can be really helpful for making sure the school takes action.

If your child feels worried about you speaking to the school, reassure them that their teacher is there to support them and will want to make sure that the bullying stops.

If your child is worried about going to school or doesn't want to go to school at all because of the bullying, validate their feelings - for example by saying it's understandable that they feel this way. Even though the situation may feel stressful, don't shout, tell them off or physically force them to go to school - as this is likely to increase their anxiety. You can find out more about supporting your child in this situation in our guide to school anxiety and refusal.

If you are unhappy with the way a member of staff is responding to your concerns, escalate them to a more senior person - such as a more senior teacher, a deputy head, or the head teacher. If this doesn't work, you can contact the school governors (their contact details should be on the school's website), and lastly the Local Education Authority or the Academy Trust. If you're finding it difficult to get the school to engage with your concerns, it might help to talk the situation through with friends, family or other parents - so you can think together about what you want to say to the school.

A young person who is experiencing, or has experienced, bullying may struggle with anxiety, low mood or depression, or difficult feelings associated with trauma.

If you're worried about your child's mental health, there are different places where you can find help. Your GP, your child's school and considering whether counselling or therapy might help are good places to start.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS), getting help from your child's school and finding local services on our guide to getting help.

School support with bullying

Wherever your child is experiencing bullying, it's helpful to be open with their school about what's going on and what support they need. Depending on their age, it may be important to make sure your child feels some control over the information that's shared about them - for example by discussing with them who they would feel comfortable for you to speak to.

The initial focus needs to be on making sure the bullying stops, and the school must adhere to its anti-bullying policy. In terms of other support, alongside counselling schools can often provide support such as drop-in chat sessions, mentoring, peer buddying and clubs and activities. Your child's school may also be able to refer them to local services that support young people with bullying.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
If your child is experiencing bullying, or you're worried they might be, read our guide on how to spot the signs and seek support.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Bullying Advice For Parents & Carers | Help Stop Bullying

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Expert advice on bullying concerns. Call our Parent Advice Line for impartial support and guidance. Visit our website to learn more about Kidscape.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Make a change today! Discover healthy recipes, food swaps, nutritional advice, and top tips and activities to help the whole family stay healthy.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
If your child is a healthy weight, there's lots you can do as a parent to help them stay a healthy size as they grow.
Research shows children who stay a healthy weight tend to be fitter, healthier, better able to learn, and more self-confident.

They're also much less likely to have health problems now and in later life.

Children whose parents encourage them to be active and eat healthily are more likely to stay a healthy weight and grow up healthy.

Check their BMI every now and then using our BMI healthy weight calculator to see how they are growing over time.

Be a good role model

One way to instil good habits in your child is for you to be a good role model. Children learn by example. You can encourage your child to be active and eat healthily by doing so yourself.

Set a good example by going for a walk or bike ride instead of watching TV or surfing the internet.

Playing in the park or swimming with your children shows them being active is fun. It's also a great opportunity for you all to spend time together.

Any changes you make to your child's diet and lifestyle are much more likely to be accepted if the changes are small and involve the whole family.
Find easy ways to eat well and move more as a family on the Better Health website
If you're not sure what activities you'd like to try as a family, head to the exercise section on the NHS website.

Get active

School-aged children need about 60 minutes of physical activity a day for good health.

Activity does not need to be all at once, it can be spread throughout the day. It could include riding a bike, skateboarding, walking to school, skipping, swimming, dancing and martial arts.

Children under 5 years old need more than 3 hours' activity a day. It can take the form of active play, such as ball games, chasing games like "it" and "tag", riding a bike or scooter, using playground swings, climbing frames and see-saws.

Activities should make children breathe faster and feel warmer.

Walking or cycling short distances instead of using the car or bus is a great way to be active together as a family. And you'll save money, too.
Find out about physical activity guidelines for children under 5 years Find out about physical activity guidelines for children and young people aged 5 to 18

Child-size portions

There's very little official guidance on precisely how much food children require, so you'll need to use your own judgement on child-size portions.

A good rule of thumb is to start meals with small servings and let your child ask for more if they're still hungry.

Avoid making your child finish everything on the plate or eat more than they want to.

Use smaller plates for younger children, as adult-size plates could encourage them to eat oversized portions.

It may also help if you encourage your child to eat slowly and have set mealtimes. You can use mealtimes as an opportunity to catch up on what's happened during the day.

Explain to your child how to get the balance of their diet right using the Eatwell Guide. It shows how much we should all eat from each food group.

Read more about how to eat a balanced diet.

Get ideas for healthier lunchbox recipes and healthier food swaps on the Better Health website.

Eat a healthy balanced diet

Children, just like adults, should aim to eat 5 or more portions of a variety of fruit and vegetables every day. They're a great source of fibre and vitamins and minerals.

Getting 5 A Day should not be too difficult. Almost all fruit and vegetables count towards your child's 5 A Day, including fresh, tinned, frozen and dried.

Juices, smoothies, beans and pulses also count.

Be aware that unsweetened 100% fruit juice, vegetable juice and smoothies only count as a maximum of 1 portion of their 5 A Day. For example, if they have 2 glasses of fruit juice and a smoothie in 1 day, that still only counts as 1 portion.

Their combined total of drinks from fruit juice, vegetable juice and smoothies should not be more than 150ml a day, which is a small glass.

If they have 150ml of orange juice and a 150ml smoothie in 1 day, for example, they'll have exceeded the recommendation by 150ml.

When fruit is blended or juiced, it releases the sugars. This increases the risk of tooth decay, so it's best to drink fruit juice or smoothies at mealtimes.

Discourage your child from having sugary or high-fat foods like sweets, cakes, biscuits, crisps, chocolate, some sugary cereals, and sugar-sweetened soft and fizzy drinks. These foods and drinks tend to be high in calories.

Aim for your child to get most of their calories from foods like fruit and vegetables, and starchy foods like bread, potatoes, pasta and rice (preferably wholegrain versions).

They should also have some beans, pulses, fish, eggs, meat and other protein foods, and some dairy or dairy alternatives.

And swap sugary soft drinks, juice and flavoured milks for water, lower-fat milks and diet, sugar-free or no added sugar drinks.
Find out more about healthier food swaps on the Better Health website

Less screen time and more sleep

Help your children avoid sitting and lying around too much, as it makes it more likely for them to put on weight.

Limit the amount of time your child spends on inactive pastimes such as watching television, playing video games and playing on electronic devices.

There's no hard and fast advice on how much is too much, but experts say children should have no more than 2 hours of screen time each day.

And remove all screens (including mobile phones) from their bedroom at night.

It also helps children stay trim if they sleep well. It's been shown children who don't have the recommended amount of sleep are more likely to be overweight.

The less children sleep, the greater the risk of them becoming overweight. Lack of sleep can also affect their mood and behaviour.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Advice for parents of healthy-weight children

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Practical advice for parents of healthy-weight children, including tips on healthy eating and physical activity.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Vaping is not for children and young people, whose developing brains are more sensitive to its addictive effects. Find out how to talk to young people about vaping.

# data[].attributes.body
Services for parents, carers of young trans, non-binary or gender questioning people

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Browse the wide variety of services, support, and information we offer

# data[].attributes.body
Supporting trans, non-binary and gender-diverse children, young people and their families

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
For the latest news on how the new Hubs, replacing GIDS, will deliver children and young people’s gender related healthcare, visit our blog and Arden & GEM’s FAQ. Are you concerned about a decision that your child’s school is making regarding their gender identity? We have worked with solicitors to create a template letter that you can use to set out your concerns and obtain a full response from the school. Visit our glossary for a helpful guide to words and phrases relevant to trans young people, that may be new to you. My child is transgender. How do I…

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
If you're worried about how your child is coping with exams at school, here is our advice and information on where you can get help.

Get advice and updates directly to your inbox

Join our fight for children and young people's mental health. Sign up to the YoungMinds mailing list to receive our monthly e-newsletter, campaign updates, information about events and fundraising and other opportunities to get involved in our work.

Sign up to emails

Exams are a stressful time for any young person

Mood swings and outbursts are more likely to occur during this period. Look out for other signs that your child may be struggling, including poor sleep patterns or a change in appetite or behaviour.

It's worth preparing ways of supporting your child during exam weeks and thinking about how you will react and respond on the day if they don't get the result that they, or you, are hoping for.

Things that can help your child in the lead up to exams

Work with your child to find what revision style works for them.

Encourage your child to take revision breaks and find a balance between studying and doing things they find enjoyable and relaxing.

Make sure they are eating and drinking at regular intervals.

Encourage them to take some time after revising to wind down.

Reassure them - reinforce that you are and will be proud of them no matter what happens.

Remain positive and hopeful!

Plan a treat or an activity together to mark the end of the exams.

Set aside one to one time so that they can talk to you about any worries.

Let them know their feelings are valid and normal, but also offer support and solutions where possible.

Anxiety is often worst at night and this means it is useful to encourage a good bedtime routine.

Work with them to develop relaxation techniques.

If anxiety and stress start impacting their day-to-day life, seek help from your GP.

Helping your child to plan a realistic revision timetable, which breaks the days and subjects down into manageable chunks, will reduce their anxiety by increasing their sense of control and confidence.

How to help your child manage exam stress

How the school can support you

Speak to your child's teacher(s) to find out what revision techniques they recommend.

If your child is struggling with a specific subject, talk to the relevant teacher and explore whether they can provide additional help.

Find out if the school has learning mentors that can help with practical steps including revision timetables.

If your child has additional learning or developmental needs, speak to the school SENCO and establish what specialist provision they can put in place.

Exam Stress - Roundup | YoungMinds Parents Lounge

How to manage a 'disappointing' exam results day

If your child is unhappy with their exam results it can be tough to deal with. Here are some things that can help:

If your child is happy to show you their results statement, you might find it helpful to have a look, just in case they have misread or misunderstood, or overlooked something.

Accept their feelings, whatever they are - disappointment, anger, embarrassment, bravado. Their feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are. Don't offer immediate judgement, or solutions, or even reassurance - there will be plenty of time for conversations later.

Reflect back how they are feeling to show you have understood, for example, "I can see you're disappointed with the Maths result."

Let them know you love them through highs and lows. Big hugs are good (although probably very embarrassing in public).

Show you're on their side - it could be something small like getting their favourite snack.

Give yourself some breathing space and time to reflect.

Ask the school to help your child explore any possible next steps, such as re-takes, re-marking or alternative courses.

If your child is disappointed with their results, they might also be embarrassed. Agree with your child how they want their results discussed with family and friends, if at all.

You might also find this helpful:

Where to get further help

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

Help us improve our content

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Exam Time & Exam Stress | Parents Guide To Support

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Exams are a stressful time for any young person, if you're worried about how your child is coping read our tips and advice on how to help.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Tests and exams can be a challenging part of school life for children and young people and their parents or carers. But there are ways to ease the stress.

Watch for signs of stress

Children and young people who are stressed may:

worry a lot

feel tense

have headaches and stomach pains

not sleep well

be irritable

lose interest in food or eat more than normal

not enjoy activities they previously enjoyed

be negative and have a low mood

feel hopeless about the future

Having someone to talk to about their work can help. Support from a parent, tutor or study buddy can help young people share their worries and keep things in perspective.

Encourage your child to talk to a member of school staff who they feel is supportive. If you think your child is not coping, it may also be helpful for you to talk to their teachers.

Try to involve your child as much as possible.

Make sure your child eats well

A balanced diet is vital for your child's health, and can help them feel well during exam periods.

Some parents find high-fat, high-sugar and high-caffeine foods and drinks, such as energy drinks, cola, sweets, chocolate, burgers and chips, make their children hyperactive, irritable and moody.

Where possible, involve your child in shopping for food and encourage them to choose some healthy snacks.

Read more about eating a balanced diet.

Help your child get enough sleep

Good sleep improves thinking and concentration. Most teenagers need 8 to 10 hours' sleep a night.

Allow half an hour or so for your child to wind down between studying, watching TV or using a computer and going to bed, to help them get a good night's sleep.

Cramming all night before an exam is usually a bad idea. Sleep will benefit your child far more than a few hours of panicky last-minute study.

Be flexible during exams

Be flexible around exam time. When your child is revising all day, do not worry about household jobs left undone or untidy bedrooms.

Staying calm yourself can help. Remember, exams do not last forever.
The Family Lives website has more information about coping with exam stress Health for Teens also has information and advice about how to prepare for exams and deal with exam stress

Help them study

Make sure your child has somewhere comfortable to study. Ask them how you can support them with their revision.

Help them come up with practical ideas that will help them revise, such as drawing up a revision schedule or getting hold of past papers for practice.

To motivate your child, encourage them to think about their goals in life and see how their revision and exams are related to them.

Talk about exam nerves

Remind your child that it's normal to feel anxious. Nervousness is a natural reaction to exams. The key is to put these nerves to positive use.

If anxiety is getting in the way rather than helping, encourage your child to practise the activities they'll be doing on the day of the exam. This will help it feel less scary.

For example, this may involve doing practice papers under exam conditions or seeing the exam hall beforehand. School staff should be able to help with this.

Help your child face their fears and see these activities through, rather than avoiding them.

Encourage them to think about what they know and the time they've already put into studying to help them feel more confident.

Encourage exercise during exams

Exercise can help boost energy levels, clear the mind and relieve stress. It does not matter what it is - walking, cycling, swimming, football and dancing are all effective.

Activities that involve other people can be particularly helpful.

Read more about the physical activity guidelines for children and young people.

Do not add to the pressure

Support group Childline says many children who contact them feel that most pressure at exam time comes from their family.

Listen to your child, give them support and avoid criticism.

Before they go in for a test or exam, be reassuring and positive. Let them know that failing is not the end of the world. If things do not go well they may be able to take the exam again.

After each exam, encourage your child to talk it through with you. Discuss the parts that went well rather than focusing on the questions they found difficult. Then move on and focus on the next test, rather than dwelling on things that cannot be changed.
See Childline's advice on exam stress and pressure

Make time for treats

With your child, think about rewards for doing revision and getting through each exam.

Rewards do not need to be big or expensive. They can include simple things like making their favourite meal or watching TV.

When the exams are over, help your child celebrate by organising an end-of-exams treat.

When to get help

Some young people feel much better when exams are over, but that's not the case for all young people.

Get help if your child's anxiety or low mood is severe, persists and interferes with their everyday life. Seeing a GP is a good place to start.

Read more about anxiety in children.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Find out how to help your child through the stress of school exams and tests, including what you can do to help them cope with nerves and anxiety, plus advice about diet, sleep and exercise.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
How do you help your child cope with exam anxiety and not getting the results they would like? We offer some advice and tips.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Home PageWelcome to Notts Help Yourself - the place to find info and services for Nottinghamshire all in one place

# data[].attributes.body
BeUNotts also offers a Parent Navigation Group: a monthly drop-in for parents promoting discussion and introducing practical interventions aimed at supporting young people’s mental health and wellbeing.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.provider_name
Be U Support | Free Mental Health Service for Children and Young People​

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Skip to content

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking "Accept All", you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Mental Health Advice and Workshops for Parents - Be U Support

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
FREE Early Mental Health Support for Children and Young People (0-25) and Mental Health Advice and Workshops for Parents and Carers

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Bereavement support for children and young people

If you feel like the young bereaved person in your care is in need of additional support, a series of one-to-one sessions with a Winston's Wish Bereavement Support Worker could help. Together, they will openly and safely explore the young person's feelings and discover the coping mechanisms that will work for them moving forward.

We also recognise that connecting young people with one another has the power to transform a young person's perspective on grief. Our grief support groups offer young people the opportunity to meet others in similar circumstances, share experiences, reduce feelings of isolation and build connections.

In some cases, and at the discretion of Winston's Wish, group sessions with family members can be arranged to help you all move forward together.

Please note that one-to-one and group support is accessed by referral only. Young people aged 13 or over are encouraged to complete their own referral if appropriate, please feel free to help them with this. If you are submitting a referral on behalf of a young person, someone from Winston's Wish will assess the child or young person's individual circumstances to ensure they receive the right service for them. If it's decided this isn't the right service for them, a member of our team will guide you towards the most appropriate support.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Help for parents and carers supporting grieving children

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
If you're a parent or carer supporting a grieving child or young person, we're here to help with information, on-demand services, bereavement support and counselling.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Supporting Younger Children with Bereavement