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Abstract

The discussion of philia ("love" or "friendship") occupies a central place in Aristotle's ethical works. And yet it is hard to see how philia could play a correspondingly significant role, on Aristotle's view, in the best possible human life - a life devoted to the fullest expression of our nature as rational animals. In the activities of contemplation and understanding, Aristotle tells us, we are maximally self-sufficient, least susceptible to the incursions of ill-fortune and least dependent on the help of others. The value of such rational self-sufficiency seems to be in tension with the value of philia; our nature as rational animals, on the one hand, and our nature as social or political animals, on the other, appear to place conflicting demands upon us.

My dissertation addresses this apparent tension in Aristotle's conception of the happy (eudaimōn) human life. It does so by exploring the ways in which philia itself is an expression of, and enables the fullest possible realization of, our nature as beings possessed of reason and understanding.

In the first chapter, I explore Aristotle's moral psychology of love in general. To love something in itself, as opposed to loving it because it pleases you or is useful to you, is to love it on the basis of one's rational recognition that it is kalon ("fine" or morally "beautiful") and good in itself. To love something in itself, in other words, is a manifestation of our love for what is good as such. It is to love something with our rational soul.

The next two chapters consider Aristotle's account of self-love, for in genuine philia, one loves another as one loves oneself. Self-love, Aristotle tells us, is derived from one's love of the good; it is only insofar as one sees one's activity and one's life as a whole as something kalon and good in itself that one can exhibit self-love. In its fullest form, it is available only to the truly virtuous or excellent (spoudaios) individual, and to others only derivatively, insofar as they can see themselves as such.

The goodness of the excellent person's life is the result of its order and intelligibility - it is, so to speak, a life that she can make sense of. But such intelligible order comes about not by pursuing intelligible order as such; it is the result of guiding one's life by a conception of the good. In this, there emerges an important theme that runs through what follows: Part of what it is to be a rational being, on Aristotle's view, is to act with practical self-awareness and to desire understanding of what one is up to - to be able to see the activities that constitute one's life as intrinsically good and kalon. Aristotle is famous for his claim, at the beginning of the Metaphysics, that the human being, as a rational being, desires by nature to know. I might describe my suggestion by saying that he also thought that the human being, as a practically rational being, desires by nature to understand themselves. But the intelligibility of one's life is not merely a matter of learning certain facts about it; it is the result of pursuing the good in action. Thus, the desire for self-understanding affects not just how you view your life, but how you live it. Since this understanding is, necessarily, framed in terms of the agent's own conception of the human good - her own conception of what it is to live a truly human life - according to which she both guides and judges her life, one might also say that, for Aristotle, to be rational is to be autonomous.

In the final chapter, I turn to Aristotle's account of genuine friendship, and, in particular, to the interpretation of a difficult and complicated argument in which Aristotle seeks to explain, on the basis of his account of self-love, why friendship is good and choiceworthy in itself. (In genuine friendship, Aristotle says, one is related to one's friend as one is related to oneself.) I argue that we should understand Aristotle's argument as appealing to the way in which, through genuine friendship, we deepen our perceptual and cognitive engagement with the world - by being confronted with a distinct perspective on our shared objects of experience, we enrich that experience itself. In this way, rather than standing in tension with the exercise of reason and understanding, friendship makes possible a fuller realization of our nature as rational beings.

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The Social Achievement of Self-Understanding: Aristotle on Loving Oneself and Others

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Author(s): Gooding, Nicholas Phillips | Advisor(s): Hoekstra, Kinch; Clarke, Timothy | Abstract: The discussion of philia ("love" or "friendship") occupies a central place in Aristotle's ethical works. And yet it is hard to see how philia could play a correspondingly significant role, on Aristotle's view, in the best possible human life - a life devoted to the fullest expression of our nature as rational animals.

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I adore you. I feel an intense adulation for you. I am affectionate toward you. I am extremely attached to you. I cherish you, and dote on you. In fact, I am devoted to you. I fancy you. I am quite fond of you. I am infatuated with you. I feel very passionately about you. I idolize and worship you. I relish and savor you. I take great pleasure in you. I will always treasure you. You are my best friend. I like you. In other words, I don't love you. If I did I would have said so.

We all know the old I-like-you-as-a-friend routine, which is fine for a romance gone wrong. But why should it be difficult to say "I love you" if you really mean it?

For one, love has always been a tough concept to define. It falls into that tricky set of words like "art" and "truth" that are useful for abstract conversation but unsettling when it comes to concrete application.

Increasingly open attitudes toward diverse lifestyles, a relaxed moral atmosphere regarding pre-marital sex and rising divorce rates have all contributed to an increased blurriness regarding the definition of love. They have expanded our notion of love, but in the process they have also diluted it.

While love may be fundamentally emotional in nature, the struggle to form an intellectualized conception of love is not made in vain. Rather, one's understanding of love can be improved by an exploration of its etymological history.

The roots of the word "love" can be traced back to the Indo-European root leubh, meaning "to care" or "to desire," approximated from words including the Latin lubet, "it pleases" and the Sanskrit lubhyati, "he desires." Along with "love," related English words like "libido" and "belief" also descend from *lebuh.

According to The Bloomsbury Dictionary of Words, while the word "love" initially meant "find pleasing," it later took on associations with "praise," "trust" and "belief." Thus, the etymology and experience of love resemble each other quite closely. As far as we can tell, both are first about pleasure, later about admiration but finally about trust.

One of the earliest extant American sources to define "love" was the 1828 Webster's New American Dictionary, which described "love between the sexes" as "a compound affection, consisting of esteem, benevolence, and animal desire." Throughout the 19th century this definition underwent significant alterations, until the same entry in the 1904 Webster's Unabridged Dictionary read, "a feeling of intimate personal sympathy and affection toward an individual of the opposite sex." In both cases, love is equated with affection. But didn't the 1828 definition pack a considerably larger wallop in terms of its candidness and discrimination?

Recently, "love" has been redefined to an even further degree of attenuation. In 1957, Webster's Second International Dictionary defined love as "tender and passionate affection for one of the opposite sex." But love is a complex, gritty emotion, not a simple, romantic one. While tenderness and passion may characterize love's finer moments, everyday love is far more profound, and far more subtle than that.

The most current definition of "love" appears in Webster's Third International Dictionary of 1993. It is the poorest definition to date, because it is the most fragmented. While one entry defines "love" as "the attraction based on sexual desire," another calls it "the affection and tenderness felt by lovers." This separation is grossly inadequate, for love is an integration, not an alternation, of desire and affection.

The history of the word "love" is replete with discrepancies and transformations. Must the heart also be subject to such shifting and bounding where love is concerned?

This Valentine's Day, remember that love is never a recipe with a list of specific ingredients meant to be mixed in a formulaic proportion. Love combines desire, affection and a number of feelings without names in a manner that can't be charted or even defined. Love contains multitudes, and ultimately it is ineffable.

According to my late grandmother, it wouldn't be love if it were any other way. In the absence of a consensus from the dictionaries, consider her homemade definition, "that tickle around your heart that you can't scratch."

Jim Cocola '98 is a history and literature concentrator and a resident of Winthrop House. His column will appear on alternate Mondays.

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Redefining Love | Opinion | The Harvard Crimson

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I adore you. I feel an intense adulation for you. I am affectionate toward you. I am extremely attached to

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Storge is defined as the familial love. Storge is the term used to express the love between members of a certain family, not in an incestral or romantic form but moreso the love for the passion and care that family shows for one another. This is expressed through the term storge in greek philosophy under the term love.

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5 Differences Between Crushing & Falling in Love

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Nomos is a greek term which defines as the love one has FOR god. As ancient greeks believed in god, they saw nomos as a term to express the love they feel for god for protecting their soul, mind and body.

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Agape is not so much referred to as a term for romantic love between two individuals, but instead the fatherly love god shows towards people. Ancient greeks believed in agape as a term used to represent the fatherly love sent from god to watch over everybody.

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Philia is a greek philosophical term which refers to friendship or the brotherly love. It represents not necessarily romantic love, but love moreso in a friendship/bonding way. No sexual attractions or romantic attraction but instead the love shared between two individuals for their ground features.

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Eros is a greek term for modern romantic love. It refers to the passionate love and represents the urge within a man towards his attraction to the beauty and truth of a lady. Eros is a term which represents the attraction a man has to a women. Eros was the greek god of erotic love

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Australian Law cannot determine love. They stipulate rules and legislation surrounding legally acknowledging people as married, this is called de facto relationships. A couple is declared de facto after two years of living with one another. Time is therefore the precursor to this status and not 'love'. It is impossible for the courts to determine what love looks like.

- Marriage starts once you undergo a valid marriage ceremony and sign the legally binding document. From that moment onwards, wherever you go in Australia or around the world, you're considered married in status'
- Notably the Marriage Amendment (Definition and Religious Freedoms) Act 2017 to allow same-sex marriages.
- Couples who have lived together in a genuine domestic relationship for two years are considered to be in a de facto relationship, even without their knowledge.
- “The common scenario is that two people, after dating for a while, move in together and live, as the law sees it, as ‘husband and wife'.
- For instance, if you are in a de facto relationship, you may be entitled to a share of the estate, or to claim financial support from the estate, in the event of the death of your partner.

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Valentine's Day is synonymous with love and romance. Whether you're making a commitment, or breaking one, it is a good idea to brush up on the legal implications of your choices, UNSW Law Senior Lecturer Dr Noam Peleg says.

"A lot of people have no idea what they're getting into in terms of the financial obligations they're making. They need to be aware of what they might be facing if a relationship ends," Dr Peleg says.

What is marriage in the eyes of the law?

In Australia, the Marriage Act 1961 instituted a unified legal definition of marriage under federal law. Everything else including divorce, child support and division of assets falls under the Family Law Act 1975.

"The Marriage Act stipulates how one can get married, the conditions that need to be met such as age and who can perform the marriage ceremony, uniformly across Australia," Dr Peleg says.

"Before 1961, each Australian state or territory had separate marriage laws, meaning there were inconsistencies in terms of recognition of marriages, and so on. So, the Act was introduced to create a unified legal definition of marriage under federal law.

"Marriage starts once you undergo a valid marriage ceremony and sign the legally binding document. From that moment onwards, wherever you go in Australia or around the world, you're considered married in status. So, every interaction you have with your partner - with other peoples or with institutions - you will be seen as a married person, for example, if you apply for a US Visa, you will do so as a married person. You don't need to go through any hoops to prove it."

The Marriage Act has been amended on numerous occasions, notably the Marriage Amendment (Definition and Religious Freedoms) Act 2017 to allow same-sex marriages. Prior to this, the Act stipulated that marriage was a union between one man and one woman, to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life, and same-sex couples could only be recognised in de facto relationships.

In 2018, there were 119,188 marriages in Australia, up 6,234 (5.5%) compared to 2017, according to the ABS, and against a trend of the last 20 years where the rates of marriage have been in decline.

Are you at a disadvantage in a de facto relationship?

It is common for couples who aren't married to live together. Couples who have lived together in a genuine domestic relationship for two years are considered to be in a de facto relationship, even without their knowledge.

"The common scenario is that two people, after dating for a while, move in together and live, as the law sees it, as 'husband and wife'. Even if they don't discuss marriage, don't want to get married, or having a very causal level of commitment to each other, the law can recognise them as a de facto couple", Dr Peleg says.

De facto relationships provide most of the same rights and responsibilities afforded to married couples. The Family Law Act 1975 treats de facto relationships the same as marriages in recognising the rights of parties.

For instance, if you are in a de facto relationship, you may be entitled to a share of the estate, or to claim financial support from the estate, in the event of the death of your partner.

"The differences between the financial implications in long-term de facto relationships and marriage are almost negligible," Dr Peleg says.

However, those rights can be more difficult to assert, and are not always recognised in practice.

"Anytime you would like to make a claim on behalf of this alleged status, you need to make your case, and the onus is on you to prove it," Dr Peleg says.

"One question that will be raised is when your relationship began, because there is no one constitutive moment that you can declare from this moment onwards, like a marriage ceremony, I'm now in a de facto relationship. Even if you were to hold a commitment ceremony that, in and of itself, is not enough to constitute a de facto relationship."

In 2018, there were 49,404 divorces granted in Australia, similar to 2017 (49,032 divorces), according to the ABS. The median duration of marriage was 12.3 years, and 47.3% of divorces involved children.

Two is company...

The Marriage Act only recognises marriages between two people and does not accept any other forms of union.

"Interestingly, while you can't be married to two people, you can be married to one person and be in a de facto relationship with another person," Dr Peleg says.

"It's quite a common situation when a marriage is coming to an end, but there is a beginning of a new relationship, there can be some overlap. Sometimes people won't bother to divorce their spouse.

"In principle, you can also be in two de facto relationships. That's a bit more complicated given the burden of proof that you have, you know, to establish each relationship."

The road to divorce

Divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court. Australia established the principle of no-fault divorce in the 1975 Act. The court no longer examines why a marriage has ended when granting divorce, only that the marriage has broken down irretrievably, with no reasonable likelihood of the parties reconciling.

You can apply for divorce either on your own, or jointly with your spouse. If there are children under the age of 18, the court can only grant a divorce if there are proper arrangements in place for their development.

When a de facto partnership ends, and this can happen once one of the parties has decided to leave the relationship, assets are split in a similar way to married couples going through divorce. In principle, either person can make a claim on the other's property, savings or even superannuation.

"What does differ is the time [frames involved]: when speaking about the division of assets post-separation," Dr Peleg says. "For de facto couples, you usually can't make a claim if the relationship lasted less than two years."

For married couples, however, "the law stipulates that there needs to be at least 12 months gap between the separation and when you can apply for divorce. Separation doesn't have to be a physical separation, and for many couples, the financial reality or the care for the kids means that they will be 'separated under one roof'," Dr Peleg says.

There will likely to be more amendments to the Family Law Act in the future, according to Dr Peleg.

" The Australian Law Reform Commission report, Family Law for the Future: An Inquiry into the Family Law System last year stipulated a number of areas of change that the Family Law Act might undergo. There were suggestions, for instance, to transfer some of the issues to states Courts, so family law and child protection matters can be jointly decided. The intentions are to cut cost and maybe the huge backlog that the system experiences, where people can wait over two years for their conflict to be resolved."

So how do they work out the split?

With both divorce and de facto separation, comes the responsibility to divide the family assets. Everything that both partners have becomes part of the balance sheet of family assets to be divvied up.

"The law treats everything that these two people have either jointly or individually as part of the family assets - it usually doesn't matter if it was owned prior to the marriage or the relationship, who formally owns the house or the car, and so forth."

The judge decides what is just and equitable based on the unique circumstances of the case.

"The Family Court, or the Federal Circuit Court, is a one-stop-shop. One judge hears all the issues, then they resolve all the disputes. [The court] will issue an order saying those are the assets that will be divided and that is final," Dr Peleg says.

The court also considers the different contributions that have been made to the relationship - financial and non-financial, such as caring for children and homemaking - with both given equal weight. The law also considers the future needs of the individuals: in terms of future earnings and lifestyle.

"What the court is trying to do is assess the maintenance needs of the parties, and factor this into the equation of how the assets are divided. So, if one party has greater maintenance needs than the other, they will get the slightly bigger portion.

"For example, it might tip the balance in favour of one person, who will get a slightly bigger portion of the assets from what they have at the moment, because the earning potential is less."

Maintenance, assets and child support

Children are a key factor in defining the split of assets. The Child Support Act of 1989 stipulates a parent's duty to financially support their child(ren), as distinct from the nature of the relationship between the parents.

"The law sees these two individuals as under the obligation, under the duty to financially support the children," Dr Peleg says. "From the point of view of the law, if a mother who has a child is married, then her husband is considered the father, even if he's not the biological father. The same goes for those who are in a de facto relationship during pregnancy.

"The child support assessment act adopts these presumptions. But having said that, they are only presumptions, and once the genetic father is identified, usually by a DNA test, it is likely that he would be recognised by the law as such."

The court operates on the premise of a clean break, ending all financial obligations at the point of divorce.

"That's why we rarely see periodic payments or support being paid on a monthly basis for years to come like we've seen other countries," Dr Peleg says.

Can you avoid all this with a prenup?

Prenuptial agreements fall under the Family Law Act too, as a form of a special contract. A prenuptial agreement is a written contract entered into by a couple before marriage, (or even during the relationship), that enables them to supersede the default laws that apply in the event of a marriage ending.

In the event of a divorce, or separation of de facto partners, this could mean waiving rights to exercise the laws that govern the division of property and other financial assets.

Prenups are legally binding, and there are technical conditions parties must meet even to sign one, including having separate lawyers.

"Each person entering into the agreement must seek independent legal advice and get a signed statement from a legal practitioner," Dr Peleg says.

"In principle, if people give up all their entitlements to assets in the event of separation, it's almost impossible to enforce entirely," Dr Peleg says. "There are lots of ways around it, for example, concealing assets, spending the money, transferring property [title]. However, if one of the parties tries to defraud the other, for example by not disclosing material matters, or if material circumstances, such as the care for the children, change, the agreement can be set aside.

"Many solicitors won't go near it because if something goes wrong, they could be sued for malpractice."

Premarital mediation is an alternative to a prenuptial agreement, where the engaged couple makes decisions upfront about finances and planning their family, with the assistance of the mediator.

"It is healthy to discuss these issues before you commit to a relationship, even if you don't sign an agreement," Dr Peleg says.

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All's fair in love and law: the ultimate legal guide to relationships

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Valentine's Day is synonymous with love and romance. Whether you're making a commitment, or breaking one, it is a good idea to brush up on the legal implications of your choices, UNSW Law Senior Lecturer Dr Noam Peleg says. "A lot of people have no idea what they're getting into in terms of the financial obligations they're making.

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- Greek philosophers have discovered a total of 5 terms used for love by the greeks: eros, philia, agape, nomos & storge

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There are 5 stages of Love in Hinduism - all which stem from the witnessing God.

1) Kama - Physical Attraction
2) Shringa - Thoughtfulness; gifts and symbollic gestures of your love that stem from Kama
3) Maitri - Compassionate love; motherly love stage, the compassion in us which is applicable on all beings. It is the act of kindness and care that we develop for the other.
4)  Bhakti; where you cultivate love not just for your partner but also for God.
5) Atma Perma; this stage is the ultimate. It is all about self love.

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5 stages of love as per ANCIENT HINDU philosophy | The Times of India

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The concept of love is deep rooted in Hinduism and there are many interesting stories attached to it. Not many are aware that there are 5 stages of love if we go by the sages of ancient India. For a better understanding, scroll down.

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The Psychology of Love: Theories & Facts 

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The Psychology of Love: Theories & Facts 

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- Prevalent in all aspects, love is defined as an emotion of strong affection, devotion or passion towards a subject or a human.
- Theories point to neuropeptides and neurotransmitters as the source of love. It is believed that love evolves from the brain which creates love at a feeling of a certain release of specific chemicals from the brain.
- Dr Robert Stanberg states that the triangular theory of love consists of 3 topics: intimacy (emotional), commitment (cognitive) & passion (physical)

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Love has fascinated researchers for decades. We look at what experts have learned about the origins and psychology of love.

Love is a powerful, complex emotional experience that involves changes in your body chemistry, including your neurotransmitters (brain chemicals). It impacts your social relationships in varied ways, affecting how you relate to others around you.

There are many types - like the love you share with your partner, family, and friends - and each version you feel is unique. It can fill you with emotions ranging from joy to heartbreak.

Love is an emotion of strong affection, tenderness, or devotion toward a subject or object. When you love a person you experience pleasurable sensations in their presence and are sensitive about their reactions to you.

Research from 2016 points to neuropeptides and neurotransmitters as the source of love. Feelings of love help us form social bonds with others. As social creatures, these natural chemicals developed to help us survive by encouraging:

It seems like so much more, though. Calling love an interaction of brain chemicals doesn't quite describe how it can warm your heart and captivate your soul.

Attachment is a component of love. Strong attachment bonds set mammals apart from many other types of animals, though other groups - including fish and birds - also form strong social connections to help them survive.

A 2017 review describes four types of mammalian attachment bonds as:

pair bonds, where individuals form a close, long-term social connection

bonds between parents and their infants

bonds between peers

conspecific bonds, or bonds between individuals of the same species

Most instances of human love fall into one of these categories. For example, the love you feel for a close friend could be classed as a peer bond.

A romantic relationship is a type of pair bond. It can start as mutual attraction and evolve into love over time.

When you like someone, you enjoy their companionship and care about their well-being. When you love them, those feelings are unconditional.

Physical effects of love

Love can do more than help you bond with another person. It can even impact your physical health.

Love may affect your immune system. A 2019 study found that falling in love resulted in immune system changes similar to protective viral infection responses.

It might also safeguard against cancer, according to a 2021 study that found tissue from pair-bonded mice was less likely to grow tumors than tissue from mice with disruptions to their pair bonds.

Can you control whether you fall in love?

You might feel like you have no control over the love you feel, but says otherwise. Love is like an emotion that you can regulate by generating new feelings or changing the intensity of the feelings you have.

Emotional regulation strategies include:

Situation selection: avoiding or seeking situations based on how they make you feel.

Distraction: engaging in another activity to reduce the strength of your feelings.

Expression suppression: hiding how you feel.

Cognitive reappraisal: changing your thoughts so that your feelings can change.

So, if you're disappointed because the love you feel isn't reciprocated, you may be able to take your mind off it.

American psychologist Dr. Robert Sternberg theorizes that love is based on three domains:

intimacy (emotional)

commitment (cognitive)

passion (physical)

Each domain represents a triangle corner in Sternberg's triangular theory of love. The theory accounts for seven different kinds of love, based on which domains are involved. We look at these types of love below.

The seven kinds of love in Sternberg's triangular theory cover a range of relationship types:

Liking. You share emotional intimacy, but there's no physical passion or commitment. Friendship falls under this category.

Infatuation. Passion is the key component of infatuation. If you're physically attracted to another person but haven't developed emotional intimacy or established a commitment, this is infatuation.

Empty. What Sternberg calls "empty love" is a committed relationship that lacks passion or intimacy. Examples include an arranged marriage or a previously emotional or physical relationship that's lost its spark.

Romatic. When you're romantically involved with another person, you share physical passion and emotional intimacy, but you haven't made any long-term plans or commitments.

Companionate. You are committed and emotionally connected, such as best friends or family. Marriages can also be companionate if the passion is gone, but you still share the commitment and emotional bond.

Fatuous. If you've been swept up by passion into an engagement or marriage without emotional intimacy, this is fatuous love.

Consummate. Consummate love is the goal for many when they envision marriage or a spousal partnership. This kind of love includes commitment, passion, and emotional intimacy.

Love comes in many forms. You can love more than one person simultaneously, in different ways.

Emotional intimacy is present in many relationships, but not all. The same is true for passion and commitment.

Attachment is another relationship element that may be present in love. Positive attachments are emotionally supportive and provide you with a feeling of security.

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The Psychology of Love: Theories and Facts

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Love is a fundamental and complex human emotion. Learn more about the different types of love and their effects on our bodies.

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Catholic intention of love is summaried in the Golden Rule. 1) 'Love your God' and 2)  'love thy neighbour', although there was difficulty with translation as to what one was more important.

Hebrew love - 'ahavah' while in Aramic Jesus expressed love as 'Rakhmah'.

Jesus explained love it interchangeable. Love for God is expressed through your love for people and vice versa. Genuine love for others is seeking people's wellbeing without expecting anything in return.

While, the ultimate standard of the love is how well you can treat the person that you can't stand or in other words 'love your enemy'.

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- Psychologist 'Robert Stanberg' believes in the triangular theory of love which contains of 3 aspects which together form 'love'
- Love is an umbrella term, which covers many different definitions and perspectives of what the word love truly means (e.g romantic)
- According to licensed psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle, specific chemical substances such as oxytocin, phenethylamine, and dopamine, have been found to play a role in human experiences and behaviours that are associated with love. They function similarly to amphetamine, making individuals alert and wanting to bond.

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We spend our lives craving it, searching for it, and talking about it. Its meaning is felt more than it is clearly expressed. It's called the greatest virtue.

It's love.

Love is fascinating and complex. Romantic love, in particular, seems to be a beautiful mystery we find hard to explain.

Although poets and songwriters can put many of our romantic thoughts and feelings into words, love is so inexplicable we need the help of science to explain it. After all, psychologists have a lot to say about how and why people fall in love.

This is Your Brain on Love

During romantic love there are many changes that both men and women experience. It seems rather inaccurate to say "falling in love" because experiencing love is more of a high that puts people on cloud nine.

"The first step in the process of falling in love is the initial attraction," says Elizabeth Kane, a South University adjunct faculty member who teaches clinical psychology and behavioral science. "It's the powerful moment when we meet another person and feel energized and are immediately aware of our heart pounding."

According to licensed psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle, specific chemical substances such as oxytocin, phenethylamine, and dopamine, have been found to play a role in human experiences and behaviors that are associated with love. They function similar to amphetamine, making us alert, excited, and wanting to bond.

It's the powerful moment when we meet another person and feel energized and are immediately aware of our heart pounding.

"Falling in love is associated with increased energy, narrowing of mental focus, sometimes sweaty palms, light-headedness, racing heart, and a lot of positive feelings," says Needle, an associate professor and coordinator of Clinical Experiences at South University, West Palm Beach.

In his book, The Brain in Love: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life, Dr. Daniel G. Amen says "that romantic love and infatuation are not so much of an emotion as they are motivational drives that are part of the brain's reward system."

Kane agrees, saying that the human brain supports falling in love, which is why we have such a strong physiological response when we are attracted to another. Once a romantic couple begins to spend time together, they are in a sort of love euphoria.

"A person newly in love sees the world through the lens of love and most everything is tolerable and everything their partner does is delightful," says Kane, who is also a marriage and family therapist.

According to the triangular theory of love developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg, the three components of love are intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy encompasses feelings of attachment, closeness, connectedness, and bondedness. Passion encompasses drives connected to both limerance and sexual attraction. Commitment encompasses, in the short term, the decision to remain with another, and in the long term, the shared achievements and plans made with that other person.

"Romantic love evolves when one feels a sense of interdependence, attachment, and that their psychological needs are being met," Kane says. "Some researchers say oxytocin plays a part in the evolution of romantic love as it is released in the brain during orgasm, which contributes to the couple's ability to bond with one another."

They Call Me Dr. Love

Understanding the psychology behind falling in love can also help therapists treat people dealing with heartbreak.

When a therapist understands the meaning that romantic love has in one's life and the traumatic effects of the abrupt and sometimes unexpected end of a relationship, they can address their client's ability to move on and strengthen their resiliency.

"Moving beyond the pain of a failed relationship requires a shift of focus back on one's self and to their own unique ability to give and receive love," Kane says. "When we understand how we fall in love, we can connect to the difficulties in moving forward after our heart has been broken. We can then connect again to the beauty of the experience and an optimistic understanding that if it has happened to us once that it can happen again to us."

Needle says therapists need to understand each individual and how they fell in love and what they currently experience in terms of heartbreak in order to best help them work through that difficult time.

"A therapist can be helpful in supporting clients in understanding and learning from the past," Needle states. "Many people choose similar partners from relationship to relationship, but are unaware of it, as well as why these relationships continue to lead to disappointment and not last."

Keeping the Fires Burning

Some of us may have committed ourselves to the fantastical notion that romance is just an act of spontaneous combustion. But, Needle says it's time to ditch the myth.

"Get rid of the myth that these things should just happen spontaneously and that there is something wrong with the relationship because you are not all over each other every minute, as when you began the relationship," Needle says. "The truth is that you have to put in time and energy and make a conscious effort to sustain the relationship and the passion."

Healthy relationships require regular communication, she adds.

"Basic communication with your partner on a daily basis is important to continue connecting on an emotional level," Needle says. "Also, remind yourself why you fell in love with this person."

Predictability can also dampen desires, so couples should strive to keep a sense of adventure and surprise alive in their relationships.

"Break the predictable pattern every so often," Needle advises.

People can let their partners know how much they love them by the little things they do every day.

"To be romantic is to make a choice to wake up each day and ask yourself what you can do today to let your lover know they are adored," Kane says. "Have fun in your romance and remember that the more effort you put into your romantic relationship, the more love you will receive in return. Be the partner that you seek and live a life filled with passion and romance."

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We spend our lives craving it, searching for it, and talking about it. Its meaning is felt more than it is clearly expressed. It's called the greatest virtue. It's love. Love is fascinating and complex. Romantic love, in particular, seems to be a beautiful mystery we find hard to explain.