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What does a *healthy* relationship look like? 

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What does a *healthy* relationship look like? 

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A healthy relationship looks like what me and Damian have, or what me and Jose have.

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Trust is when you and your friend/loved share personal feelings or experiences with you.

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Everyone deserves money to buy stuff.

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What is one thing you feel your family doesn't understand about you? Why do you feel that way? 11/30/22

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What is one thing you feel your family doesn't understand about you? Why do you feel that way? 11/30/22

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One thing I feel my family doesn't understand is what type of hairstyle I want. I mean even I don't understand it myself. But they want my hair to be combed 🤮

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How does your family communicate with one another? How might you be able to improve communication with your parents/guardians, siblings, or those you live with? 11/29/22

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How does your family communicate with one another? How might you be able to improve communication with your parents/guardians, siblings, or those you live with? 11/29/22

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My communicates with one another by talking, that's what everyone does 💀I might able to improve communication with my family by talking more, which I already do. So stop saying that I'm 🤬 quiet!

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How do you feel when you meet a new friend? What qualities do you look for in a friend? 11/28/22

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How do you feel when you meet a new friend? What qualities do you look for in a friend? 11/28/22

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From the moment my eyes lay on someone who could be a potential friend, I get obsessed. I'll let nothing stop me from becoming their friend. When I finally became friends with a classmate, I was ecstatic! I talked to him every day. I even asked Ms.Garcia if I could sit with him, she agreed and I sat with him and made a few happy memories. Now all that's left are those memories. He moved schools. I should feel happy for him, but I can't help it. I feel so upset just thinking of those times. Now I have nothing, school is a drag. The best qualities in a friend are loyalty, trust, and brotherly love.

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Write about one of your core memories. 10/25/22

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Write about one of your core memories. 10/25/22

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The day I met Angel. It was a Thursday afternoon, my mom had just gotten home. She asked, "Do you guys wanna go to your sister's friend's house?" "Sure?", I replied. We went and I saw the kid who I liked from PE. We started getting along and quickly became friends. We've made so many memories. But love isn't forever, even if it's platonic. He's moving away, to Mexico.

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Why is it important to advocate for yourself? 10/20/22

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Why is it important to advocate for yourself? 10/20/22

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It's important to advocate for yourself because if you don't, you'll end up like me in middle school. I never spoke for myself, everyone else always had to speak up for me. Fortunately, I learned how to speak up for myself during 8th grade. People always found it annoying how I never spoke up for myself. Most of the time, I couldn't get what I wanted/needed. I would end up failing a class, losing friends, missing assignments, etc.

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How do you advocate for yourself? 10/19/22

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How do you advocate for yourself? 10/19/22

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You can advocate yourself by making your own decisions. You can also speak up for yourself, instead of letting others speak up for you. You can stop being Voiceless (like my future-song lyrics).

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Do actions truly speak louder than words? 10/10/22

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Do actions truly speak louder than words? 10/10/22

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Actions do truly speak louder than words. For example: If I just tell people that I'm their friend without showing it, they would think that I'm fake and wouldn't want to be friends with me anymore. If I show them that I'm their friend, then they would like to stay friends with me.

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I don't think it's important to share that I have Autism with anyone. My mom shares it with anyone she meets whenever I'm being "slow". It's really annoying to me because having autism makes people think that you're ret*rded. I really hate it when people just stare at me weirdly because I'm "different". It doesn't help that I feel anxious every so often. I can't even make friends and I end up feeling bad about it. I lost lots of friends already because they thought that I was stupid and wouldn't notice how fake they are. The only things that can boost my mood when I'm feeling down are exercise, TV, friends, and my crush(es).

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3 things that I'll get organized. 09/29/22 

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3 things that I'll get organized. 09/29/22 

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3 Things I'd like to get organized are: Starting my music career, getting a new hairstyle and cut, make new friends. I really want to work in the music industry, I'll make sure to start practicing vocalizing this week. The second thing I want to organize is my hair, it's a mess and not the good kind. I really need a haircut, but I want to have a specific style. It should be kinda wavy and messy but in a different way. I really need to search for that style's name. The last but most important thing I want to organize is my friends. I need to make more and expand my relations with them. I really want to be friends with my crush, Damian. I still haven't done it but expect it to happen extremely soon 👀.

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In the morning, my perfect routine would be- 9/27/22

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In the morning, my perfect routine would be- 9/27/22

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My perfect routine would be to be woken up in the morning from a nightmare by my annoying alarm. Go shower, wake up my brother. Eat breakfast. Put on a plethora of deodorant and perfume. Finish getting ready. Watch my phone for a while. Go to Angel's for the carpool. Wait to get in the car. Finally, I'll arrive at my destination and wait for the bell to ring. This is my everyday routine btw.

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Honestly, I have multiple relationships I need to improve. My relationship with my dad is dry. Angel and I barely talk. My now-online friend, Catherine, always ignores me. My relationship with Damian is so dry that we have no relationship. We just bumped into each other a few times and I follow him around during lunch, but we never talk. I'm really in love with him, but I can never ask to be friends with him because I can't speak when I'm around him. I just can't get myself to say anything. I've been getting closer to him, literally. Today is the day that I finally ask him, I've had enough of waiting around and being a coward. I accomplished lots of things before, so why can't I accomplish this?

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A distraction that's hindering my productivity. 9/19/22

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A distraction that's hindering my productivity. 9/19/22

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A distraction that's hindering my productivity is being constantly stubborn about making new friends. I know that not everyone wants to be my friend, but I keep doing the same thing over again. I'm always obsessing over my friends. Something's wrong with me because I can't stop feeling the urge to message or hang out with someone. Loneliness is my pain and it's a major distraction that's always distracting me from making friends and doing my homework or shores. I just can't stop thinking about Damian, he's too cool for me that I melt whenever I'm around him. He's a big distraction (not really because he's short 😄). I don't know if this makes any sense, but I can't think STRAIGHT around Damian.

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A choice I can make this week based on my needs is the choice between making friends and not making friends. I want to be friends with my crush, Damien. Whenever I'm around him, I feel so anxious that I choke on my own words and I end up not saying anything to him. Yesterday, I made a plan for all this. The plan starts with me talking to one of Damien's friends, Jose. I meet him after lunch ends at 3rd period, I then ask Jose if I could hang out with him and Damien tomorrow. Finally, if he says yes, then I hang out with them and get to know them during lunch. If that doesn't work, then I try to be annoying and ask him everyday. I can also follow Damien, I've seen him going to the bus stop.

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In this moment, I am aware that even though I try to be happy and enjoy my life, there are lots of challenges I have yet to overcome. One of these challenges is keeping my best friend. I have to pretend to be straight around him and his family, yet I feel bad for keeping the truth from him. He's such a nice guy and always does good things for me, but his family is really catholic and homophobic. His brother is a snitch who wants to know all the drama that goes on and he might spill the beans if I tell Angel that I like guys. Even though I'm Gay, it doesn't mean that I'm an Atheist. I belive in God and sometimes pray to him for things to be better. I wish I could be with Angel, but he's told me countless times that he doesn't want to be Gay or even have a straight relationship yet. Another thing is that he's moving to Mexico next year. The worst possible time he had to say this was a day before my birthday, when my classroom had a pizza celebration for me. Another thing I'm aware of is that my new crush, Damien, might not be Gay or Bisexual. I'm in love with him, but first I want to be friends with him to start things slow. Also because I need more friends, I currently have 4 friends: Rowan, Catherine, Angel, and Bryan. I really need more friends, I'm desperate for it. So, I won't stop at anything to be friends with Damien. I will be able to make friends with him soon, I'm confident.

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Fast forward to about 70 years later and I won't be existent anymore. I want to be remembered for something but that something is still being figured out. I'm not good with math, history, art, cooking, or science. I could be a Tiktok Influencer, but I'm not sure if that's really what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want a good paying good job so I can afford the things I need and want. The other day I was stunned with how surprinsgly good my singing voice was. Singing is one of my biggest dreams, I could accomplish it if I work hard. Maybe I'll be remembered as a singer. If not a singer, then an author, I love writing long and detailed stories about myself. So, I have multiple choices, but I won't achieve anything if I don't try. Perhaps I'll be remembered as something great. The last thing I want to do is be buried under one of my favorite trees, a cornifer tree.

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The biggest mistake I've ever made was on February 14th, 2022. That day I felt so alone so when I saw my crush/Best friend holding hands with a random girl, I tried to hold In my tears. I managed to hold my tears in until I got home, I went to the restroom and just let it all out. When I got out of the restroom my mom noticed that I had been crying because of my eyes. I was forced to tell her everything, we talked and I came out as Gay to her. She was shocked and when I told her that I liked Angel, she was speechless. She told me to consider liking girls and boys, basically Bisexual. I told her that could work and went on to reveal that I was Gay/Bisexual to everyone except my dad and Angel, They still don't know about it. After all, my mom always made me feel bad about myself to the point where I would cry to sleep. I know she wasn't doing it on purpose but still, I felt horrible. One time she said that the reason Angel doesn't want to be around me is that I always stare at him. It made me feel awful for a week. But luckily I got through all that, Angel is still my best friend and he doesn't know about it yet. I also started talking to a friend about it, her name is Catherine. She was going to Gardena but went to North High instead because Gardena was too crazy for her. Unfortunately, that's not where it ends, Angel is moving to Mexico next year and his parents are strictly catholic and Homophobic. I want to open up to Angel but I'm afraid that our friendship will end. And that's the story of my biggest mistake so far.

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There are three people that inspire me:

#1. The first person who inspires me is my best friend, Angel. Angel is a high-energy, funny, and overall awesome guy. Whenever I see him or think about him, I feel recharged and ready to overcome the next obstacle that gets in my path.

#2. The next person that inspires me is a chef named Nicholas Digiovanni. Nick is a really cool chef that cooks all sorts of things on multiple different social medias. He says, "anyone can cook". Which means a lot to me because I'm terrible at cooking but when I watch his videos it makes me feel like I will cook a meal properly next time.

#3. Finally, the last people who inspire me are musicians/singers, specifically Alec Benjamin. Listening to their music makes me feel like writing a song. One of my dreams is becoming a Musician/Singer. I just wanted to become a singer because of the amazing songs I listen to.

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#1: I mainly think about the future, I worry too much on what will happen in my life in the future, what I will do and what I'll become.

#2: I don't really know how I can do that.