# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Childhood Bereavement: A Critical Issue

An estimated 5.6 million children in the U.S. will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 18.

Childhood grief has profound impacts on youth, families, and communities. In partnership with the New York Life Foundation, we developed the Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model (CBEM) to understand the magnitude of the issue. The CBEM approximates rates of U.S. children and youth who will experience the death of a parent or sibling by the time they reach adulthood.

This information helps communities evaluate the impacts of unaddressed grief, campaign for grief resources, and ultimately, contribute to improved outcomes for grieving families everywhere.

The 2022 National CBEM Report is available now. The report reflects the early impact of the pandemic through the analysis of CDC mortality data from 2016-2020 and includes alarming cause of death trends during this time period. Download the national report for more details and stay tuned for updated state reports in May.

Childhood Bereavement: Race & Ethnicity

Analyses reveal significant differences in prevalence based on race and ethnicity.

Each year, our team highlights a Key Topic that provides important context to our understanding of childhood bereavement using the CBEM. Our 2021 analyses based on race and ethnicity illuminate disproportionate incidences of childhood bereavement and underscore the need for critical and timely grief supports for children.

Derived using CDC data for the years 2015 - 2019, these results complement annual CBEM reports. Results are presented for each racial (American Indian or Alaska Native, Asian or Pacific Islander, Black or African American, White) and ethnic category (Hispanic or Latino) using specific mortality and birth data from CDC Wonder.

Other key topics include childhood bereavement related to population density, county, and substance abuse.

Childhood Bereavement in the United States

2021 CBEM State results vary greatly across the nation. West Virginia has the highest concentration of bereaved children with 11.5% experiencing the loss of a parent or sibling by age 18. California has the lowest concentration with 5.6%. National, state, and county-level findings help advocates better understand and support the unique needs of bereaved children in their communities.

How many children and youth will be bereaved in YOUR state? Hover over the map for a snapshot of CBEM rankings and rates. Click on a state to view and download the full report.

Join us in elevating childhood bereavement to a critical public priority. You can keep kids on track to health and healing by utilizing our CBEM resources to educate your community and increase awareness.
Want more information? Data tables for all 50 states include 2021 CBEM results for children bereaved by age 18 and youth bereaved by age 25.

Childhood Bereavement: The Cost of Inaction

Research shows that bereaved children are at an increased risk of disrupted development. Unaddressed childhood grief and trauma can lead to short- and long-term difficulties including decreased academic performance, mental health issues, and early mortality.

Timely support introduced at critical junctions aids in healthy development. Each day, bereaved youth turn to peers and adults for assistance in managing complex grief reactions. Data from the CBEM reinforces the need for access to grief-focused education and programming that helps communities respond compassionately and confidently.
Judi's House/JAG Institute partnered with the New York Life Foundation to help support grieving children and families by creating the Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model - Judi's House

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
An estimated 5.6 million children in the U.S. will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 18. Childhood grief has profound impacts on youth, families, and communities. In partnership with the New York Life Foundation, we developed the Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model (CBEM) to understand the magnitude of the issue.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Analyses exploring childhood bereavement by race and ethnicity reveal significant differences in prevalence based on race and ethnicity.

These data illuminate disproportionate incidences of childhood bereavement and underscore the need for critical and timely grief supports for children.

Explore our CBEM Race and Ethnicity reports and resources.

Judi’s House/JAG Institute partnered with the New York Life Foundation to help support grieving children and families by creating the Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model.

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
CBEM by Race and Ethnicity - Judi’s House

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Analyses exploring childhood bereavement by race and ethnicity reveal significant differences in prevalence based on race and ethnicity. These data illuminate disproportionate incidences of childhood bereavement and underscore the need for critical and timely grief supports for children. Explore our…

# data[].attributes.headline
Becoming Grief Informed: A Call to Action

# data[].attributes.subject
Becoming Grief Informed: A Call to Action

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Grief is a natural response to loss. How people grieve privately or publicly varies based on many factors, including their personality and what their social context has shown, taught, or demonstrated as "appropriate." Mainstream society - as well as proponents of pathologizing some people who are grieving based on a set of "symptoms" - often implies that something is wrong with you if you don't grieve in the "right" way and for the "right" length of time.

Here's the problem with that thinking: Everyone responds to grief in a unique way and grief can last a lifetime...and that is completely normal. After listening to and supporting thousands of children, teens, young adults, and adults who are grieving the death of someone in their lives, and with pandemic-related deaths increasing, and more than 2 million deaths worldwide, over 400,000 in the U.S., it is time, now more than ever, to understand what it means to be grief-informed.

"Becoming Grief-Informed: A Call to Action," written by Dr. Donna Schuurman and Dr. Monique Mitchell, Dougy Center's Senior Director of Advocacy & Training and Director of Training & Translational Research respectively, is more than a position paper: It's a Call to Action.

It is time that we as a nation take a stand and acknowledge grief for what it truly is: a natural and normal response to loss that is interwoven into a sociocultural context. Grief is not an experience that needs to be "silenced," "treated," or "pathologized." Grief, and all the many complications it imposes on the griever, is an experience that needs and deserves understanding, support, and community.
Download the Position Paper

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Becoming Grief-Informed: A Call to Action

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Grief is a natural response to loss. How people grieve privately or publicly varies based on many factors, including their personality and what their social context has shown, taught, or demonstrated as "appropriate."

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Hearts to Art Summer Camp - Auditorium Theatre

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The Auditorium Theatre presents our award-winning summer camp, Hearts to Art, formerly known as Hands Together, Heart to Art! This unique performing arts camp brings together young people between the ages of 7 and 14 who have experienced the death of a parent to encourage the healing power of creative play.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Through the exploration and creation of dance, theatre and music, Hearts to Art provides these young people with a space to communicate, collaborate, grow and connect with others who have had similar life experiences. Hundreds of campers have attended Hearts to Art over the years, and many campers go on to become junior counselors after they "graduate" from camp.

Originally known as Hands Together, Hearts to Art, the performing arts camp began in the summer of 2005. The Auditorium Theatre's executive director at the time, Brett Batterson, had lost his father to a heart attack when he was 7 years old. "This is a story that can be told by countless children on a daily basis in America," Batterson said. "Luckily, I had an outlet that allowed me to channel my grief into a positive, healing direction: my involvement in the performing arts ... As I got older and found myself in a position to do so, I decided I wanted to give children who had lost a parent the same benefits I had."

Each summer, two two-week sessions are open to young people between the ages of 7 to 10 (Session 1, July 8-July 19) and 11 to 14 (Session 2, July 22-August 2). The sessions conclude with a final performance, giving campers the opportunity to showcase some of what they worked on while at camp, and a special balloon launch, in which campers attach handwritten notes dedicated to their loved ones to balloons and release them at Buckingham Fountain.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Through the exploration and creation of dance, theatre and music, Hearts to Art provides these young people with a space to communicate, collaborate, grow and connect with others who have had similar life experiences. Hundreds of campers have attended Hearts to Art over the years, and many campers go on to become junior counselors after they "graduate" from camp.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Passionate college students lead our community. Working alongside alumni and supporters, they create experiences and connections where these children can process, connect, heal, and thrive.

# data[].attributes.headline
Kesem Camp Finder (try Illinois, Indiana and Wisconsin for camps)

# data[].attributes.subject
Kesem Camp Finder (try Illinois, Indiana and Wisconsin for camps)

# data[].attributes.headline
BJC (St. Louis) Stepping Stones Grief Camp

# data[].attributes.subject
BJC (St. Louis) Stepping Stones Grief Camp

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Stepping Stones Camp Grief Support for Children | BJC Hospice

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Stepping Stones, BJC Hospice’s weekend bereavement camp, is free to children 6-12 who have suffered the death of a family member, friend or loved one.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
A one-day grief retreat for teens aged 13-19 who have experienced the death of a family member or close friend

Labyrinth provides a safe place for teens to identify and express their grief.

Please call 314.953.1676 or email with questions, or complete an online application to stay updated.

Grief is a natural reaction to a death, but it doesn't always feel natural because it can be difficult to control the feelings, thoughts, and physical reactions that often happen after a loss. The death of someone important can cause teens to feel isolated, different from others, and as if there is no one that can understand what they are feeling. The Labyrinth retreat provides an opportunity for teens to get support from one another as they participate in creative, physical and musical activities, discuss their experiences with the group, and receive guidance from grief support professionals throughout the day.

"The sessions at Labyrinth allowed me to express my grief in a way I haven't before.

Labyrinth provides:

A safe place for teens to identify and express emotions

An opportunity to meet and get support from other teens who have experienced

a significant loss

Activities that give teens a chance to share memories and honor the person who died

Suggestions for ways to cope with difficult emotions

A non-judgmental atmosphere with encouragement to participate fully but no pressure to do or share anything the teen is not sure about

Labyrinth is held at the Forest Park Visitor Center, St. Louis, Missouri. Labyrinth camp is open to any teen who has lost a loved one and is available at no cost thanks to generous individual and corporate donations from the communities we serve. Labyrinth is made possible through the support of Magellan Health Services and the Friends of Wings.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Please call 314.953.1676 or email with questions, or complete an online application to stay updated. Grief is a natural reaction to a death, but it doesn't always feel natural because it can be difficult to control the feelings, thoughts, and physical reactions that often happen after a loss.

# data[].attributes.headline
Virtual Grief Camp: Coping After Suicide (fee)

# data[].attributes.subject
Virtual Grief Camp: Coping After Suicide (fee)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Coping After Suicide 's Virtual Summer Grief "Camp" is for kids ages 6-12 who've lost a parent, sibling, or other loved one to suicide. It's not a therapy group - it's a professionally facilitated, activity-based peer support group that meets on Zoom.

"Camp" will be facilitated by Joan Hoff, former longtime program director for the Dougy National Center for Grieving Children and Families, who's been facilitating grief support groups for kids for 30 years. Joan will lead the kids in activities and discussions to help them:

Kids can participate independently (we just ask that a trusted adult be nearby

in case of technical or emotional challenges).

There are two sessions, and each session consists of four 60-minute Zoom meetings.

The two sessions will cover different topics, so kids can register for either or both:

June 27, 28, 29, and 30 from 2-3 pm Eastern

What we'll talk about:

July 25, 26, 27, and 28 from 2-3 pm Eastern

What we'll talk about:

Things to Keep in Mind

​

Questions? Email Joan .

​

The registration fee is $150 per child/per session

Spaces will be filled on a first-come, first-served basis

​

​

Information about our groups for adults and teens can be found here.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Coping After Suicide 's Virtual Summer Grief "Camp" is for kids ages 6-12 who've lost a parent, sibling, or other loved one to suicide. It's not a therapy group - it's a professionally facilitated, activity-based peer support group that meets on Zoom.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
KidsGrief.ca is a free online resource that helps parents support their children when someone in their life is dying or has died. It equips parents with the words and confidence needed to help children grieve life’s losses in healthy ways.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
to learn more about the Autism & Grief Project's guiding principles.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Psychologists suggest the following resources to help autistic people understand and cope with tragedy and grief.
For more information and resources, contact the Autism Speaks Autism Response Team: English: 888-288-4762 or help@autismspeaks.org En Español: 888-772-9050 or ayuda@autismspeaks.org
Please ensure Javascript is enabled for purposes of website accessibility

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Grief and Bereavement Resources | Autism Speaks

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Autism Speaks provides suggestions from psychologists and resources about helping people with autism understand and respond to tragedy and grief.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Sharing emotions related to grief and saying goodbye is often difficult, especially for children and teens. Writing goodbye letters can help individuals ease into the exploration of complex and conflicting feelings. In this activity, youth and families will be given a goodbye letter template with sentence starter prompts that speak directly to the person who died while reflecting on feelings and memories. The practice of writing can provide an emotional release when paired with the empowering choice of sharing, saving, or shredding the letter once completed.

Keep in mind that saying goodbye can bring up big emotions and it's important to provide opportunities for participants to opt in and out of the activity at any time.

Read a book or watch a video about saying goodbye:

Use the goodbye letter template to reflect on how the fictional main character from a book or movie might respond to each sentence starter. By discussing the feelings of a fictional character, children can feel-out the level of safety in that space, prior to sharing their personal feelings. After the discussion, you can ask if they would like to write a goodbye letter to their person who died. Here are some books and videos that we recommend for saying goodby
Books about saying goodbye:

The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr: Through the lens of a pet fish who has lost his companion, Todd Parr tells a moving and wholly accessible story about saying goodbye. Touching upon the host of emotions children experience, Todd reminds readers that it's okay not to know all the answers, and that someone will always be there to support them. An invaluable resource for life's toughest moments.

Saying Goodbye by Alejandra Pozzo Stevenson: Saying Goodbye takes the reader along a journey of grief as the character processes the death of their person. Confused about this death, the character is guided by a star who teaches them what it means to lose someone you love and to treasure the memories their loved one left behind.

But I Don't Want to Say Goodbye by Ta'Shay Mason: The death of someone in your life is never easy to understand, let alone speak about. But for a little girl whose father has just died, the hardest thing is figuring out how to say goodbye. As Mommy makes funeral arrangements and tries to figure out the best way to say goodbye to a man who was loved by many, the little girl must find her own way to come to peace with her father's death.

Videos about saying goodbye:

Nzingha and Saying Goodbye: When someone dies, we may feel several different emotions. Join Nzingha and the children in Amber's Class as they share some of these feelings about the death of their class pet and other special people in their lives.

You'll Find Me: This video is a read aloud of the children's book, You'll Find Me by Amanda Rawson Hill. This book is about grief and remembering someone when they have died.

Pick one sentence prompt and draw a picture:

For many people, drawing can be an access point to deeper emotions. In this variation, participants can pick any sentence starter from the goodbye letter template and draw a picture to illustrate their response. Children and families may choose to then follow up by writing out some responses in the letter.

Introduce emotional vocabulary along with the letter:

Children and youth are continuously learning new terms that best describe their feelings related to grief. You can foster emotional literacy with activities such as Feeling Faces, Ocean of Emotion, and Inside Out - Getting to Know My Emotions. Once an array of emotions has been identified, introduce the goodbye letter activity.

Journaling with the sentence starters:

If participants have a diary or journal, they can use Eluna's goodbye letter template to spark some ideas for a new journal entry. When journaling, they can be encouraged to write freely while letting go of any expectations about length, format, grammar, etc. The beauty of journaling is the openness that each page presents to weave in symbols, art, colors, and judgement-free expression.

Goodbye letter sharing:

After completing the goodbye letter, you can provide creative options for sharing the letter with others (only if they fully opt into a sharing exercise). Here are some ideas:

Gallery Post It Walk: Ask each participant to choose one sentence from their goodbye letter that they feel comfortable writing on a post-it for the gallery walk (without revealing their name). The facilitator can collect the post-its and then display them around the room. We recommend inviting participants to move around the room silently with soft music in the background, then wrapping up with a closing reflection question about the activity.

Letter Exchange: Participants can be paired or grouped with one another to exchange their letters. After reading the letters of one another, provide some time for the group or family to further connect, reflect, and support one another.

One Word or Sentence Reflection: Participants can choose to share a one-word reflection about their letter, or they can choose once sentence to read aloud to the group.

Confidential Sentence Sharing: Ask each participant to put a star next to one sentence they feel comfortable having shared by a facilitator (without revealing names). This way the children and families can hear powerful reflections from one another while maintaining some privacy.

Sharing privately at a place of rememberance: Some participants may choose to read their letter aloud directly to the person who died at a place of rememberance.

Saying goodbye individually, or collectively as a group, can be a meaningful activity for children and families of all ages. There is no timeline to grief, and the same goes for goodbye rituals. Choosing to write a goodbye letter, even long after a person's death, can help to deepen reflection and connection within the life-long grieving process.
For more bereavement activities, click here or contact the Eluna Resource Center directly for personalized support and resources (in Spanish and English).

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Goodbye Letter: Activity for Grieving Children and Families

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Sharing emotions related to grief and saying goodbye is often difficult, especially for children and teens. Writing goodbye letters can help individuals ease into the exploration of complex and conflicting feelings. In this activity, youth and families will be given a goodbye letter template with sentence starter prompts that speak directly to the person who died while reflecting on feelings and memories.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The other day I asked our Facebook community to suggest resources for people who've experienced the death of a sibling. Although some were able to make recommendations, many were quick to point out their struggle to find help and support for their loss. One reader even said she dubbed herself th e "forgotten mourner" af ter finding sibling grief was so often overlooked in the support world. Now, we can't have that!

Obviously, this is just a post and it doesn't substitute for dedicated organizations, movements, or other types of support - but it's a start. Whatever you are able to contribute to the conversation in the comments and on social media, please do. The more voices we have speaking on the subject, the more supported and cared for other grieving siblings will hopefully feel.

This post is long, but the last thing we want to do is create another resource that is overgeneralized and unhelpful. At the end of the post, we'll link to a resource page with suggestions for locating support locally and online. Got it? Good. Okay, let's talk about some of the reasons why the death of a sibling (at any age) is really stinking hard.

Feelings and Emotions

You may be experiencing grief over the death of your sibling if you feel any of the following - shock, numbness, sadness, despair, loneliness, isolation, difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, irritability, anger, increased or decreased appetite, fatigue or sleeplessness, guilt, regret, depression, anxiety, crying, headaches, weakness, aches, pains, yearning, worry, frustration, detachment, isolation, questioning faith - to name a few.

Okay, so those things aren't specific to sibling grief, however, they might be experienced differently by someone grieving a brother or sister. For example:
You feel guilty because... ...you are the sibling that survived. ...you knew your sibling inside and out and yet you didn't know about the struggles or hardships that led to their death. ...you weren't able to protect them. ...there are things you wish you had said, but didn't You feel anxiety because... ...you know how fragile life is. ...you're worried you may die in the same way as your sibling. ...you're worried others in your family may die. You feel lonely because... ...although you're surrounded by people, you miss the one person who you could truly be yourself with.
I could go on, but the important thing is to understand that your feelings are unique and important. Good, bad, or anywhere in-between, your relationship with your brother or sister was different than anyone else's and so you'll experience hurdles, triggers, and hardships that others may not.

Your parents, siblings, and other family members may grieve in many of the same ways that you do, but in many ways, their grief may differ. It's important to remember this because misunderstandings can arise amongst family members when people react differently in response to a death. It's also important for people supporting bereaved siblings to keep this in mind so they can help validate and support the griever's feelings and experiences.

Overshadowed Grief

This is just a guess, but I suspect a lack of sibling grief resources exists because sibling grief is often overshadowed. People simply cannot fathom the out-of-order-ness of a parent having to bury a child, so when this is the case their thoughts and concerns often immediately go to the parent's grief.

Parents themselves may not be able to effectively attend to their children's grief and outside family and friends may be hesitant to step in and offer support or suggestions. It might also be true that support and attention are first given to siblings who are younger or who are perceived to be more fragile. In a situation where any or all of these things are true, a grieving sibling may end up feeling as though other people's grief is more important than their own.

This may be confounded by the fact that some people willingly allow their grief to go unnoticed by themselves or others. Raise your hand if you're the sibling who feels like it's your job to take care of and support the rest of the family. After a death, some siblings might quickly step in to take care of their younger children and/or their parents because they feel it's their role or duty.

Sometimes this happens out of necessity, sometimes avoidance, sometimes expectation, and sometimes all of the above. It is important for all members of the family to recognize that no one's grief should take complete precedence. Although family members might take turns supporting one another, at one point or another everyone's grief deserves attention and needs to be attended to.

Changes in Family Dynamics and Support Systems

Families - functional or dysfunctional - often operate according to a set of norms, roles, traditions, and patterns. Each person has their place in the family system, so things can get thrown off balance when someone in the family dies. An important person is gone, and those who survive them are sometimes unable, unwilling, or disinterested in filling that person's role(s) or carrying out traditions and patterns as they have in the past.

Shifting family dynamics can lead to the weakening of support systems. Parents and siblings who are grieving may be of less, little, or no help. If a person's support system largely consists of family (which is often the case for children and teens), they may find they're facing one of the hardest periods of their life without a safety net.

The support system may also be weakened if the person who died was an important source of support for surviving siblings. This may be true at any age, but if the death happens when the siblings are in older adulthood, the person who died may have been one of the surviving sibling's few living family members

For all these reasons and others, it is common for people to have to reassess their support system in the wake of loss and to seek out additional help while coping with their grief.

Comparisons and Expectations

You are special and you are wonderful (come on...you know you are). You have no one to live up to besides yourself, your goals, and your own potential.

Okay, I just wanted to say that as a reminder to anyone who feels like they're living in the shadow of a deceased sibling. Feeling compared or overshadowed is common after the death of a sibling, and (although you may be hesitant to admit it) this experience can result in feelings of resentment or anger towards family and/or the person who died.

If this sounds like you, the first thing we recommend you do is to ask yourself, "Who is making me feel this way?" If the answer is your parents or other family members, then the next thing you might do is try to communicate with your family about how you feel. This might seem like a scary task because you don't want to rock the boat or make anyone feel worse in their grief. If this is the case, or if you think your concerns will fall on deaf ears, you might want to consider talking to a counselor about how to approach the situation or enlist the help of a family counselor to work with the family as a whole.

Now, you may find that you yourself are responsible for comparisons and expectations. This might happen for a number of reasons including insecurity, guilt, or the feeling that you need to pick up where your sibling left off. If you think you might be the source of comparison, then some serious self-reflection is probably needed.

Acknowledging the truth of the situation is a good start, you're in even better shape if you can identify why this is happening. As you search for answers, you might find it's helpful to spend time in reflection, journaling, or talking to a trusted confidant, support group member(s), or counselor.

Missed Opportunities

When a person dies, you are not only robbed of their physical presence in the here and now, but you (and they) also lose the chance to spend your tomorrows together. Your life after their death becomes filled with thoughts of " if only", " we would have", and "I wish."

This is obviously the case for missed opportunities in the future; the happy moments you wish you could have spent together like weddings, graduations, births, adventures, and family get-togethers. We talk a lot about how to handle these moments here and here and here. However, missed opportunities are also felt when people wish they could make up for all they didn't do while the person was alive. For example, taking the chance to say " I love you", "I'm sorry", "I forgive you" and "I care".

You miss the hell out of them

Sibling relationships obviously vary in their degrees of closeness, love, and amicability. Some siblings may be thick as thieves, others wonder whether they're even really related. Regardless, siblings are our ties to family bonds. They have known us the longest. They understand our history and are the people with whom we have the longest running jokes.

They are our bridesmaids and our groomsmen. They are our children's aunts and uncles. They bail us out when we're in trouble, they loan us money, and then we loan it back. They are the most judgmental people we know. They are the most accepting and loving people we know. Siblings can never be replaced and when they are gone we miss the hell out of them.

As promised, you can find help locating sibling grief support on this page. Please comment below and share your experience with the death of a sibling and/or recommended resources.
Subscribe to receive posts straight to your inbox.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The other day I asked our Facebook community to suggest resources for people who've experienced the death of a sibling. Although some were able to make recommendations, many were quick to point out their struggle to find help and support for their loss. One reader even said she [...]

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Grieving The Death Of A Sibling - Tips For Supporting Children

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
At Dougy Center, you'll find grief support, resources, and connection before and after a death. We provide the right place when nothing feels right.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
When Someone You Love Has An Illness - A Sibling’s Story

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
At Dougy Center, you’ll find grief support, resources, and connection before and after a death. We provide the right place when nothing feels right.

# data[].attributes.headline
How To Help Kids Handle Grief After The Death Of A Parent

# data[].attributes.subject
How To Help Kids Handle Grief After The Death Of A Parent

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
How To Help Kids Handle Grief After The Death Of A Parent

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Therapist-backed advice so you can help your child process and cope with this huge loss in their life.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Acompáñanos para el arte que puede hacer desde la comodidad de su hogar. Los proyectos utilizarán elementos comunes que se encuentran en su hogar para crear algo maravilloso. La instrucción se dará en español, pero todos son bienvenidos.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Siete Sugerencias Para Explicar La Muerte a Los Niños/as/xs

En Englés: Seven Suggestions for Explaining Death to Children

1. Explique la causa inmediata de la muerte de manera simple y honesta: evite los eufemismos o dé una interpretación filosófica o religiosa: "Su padre murió de una enfermedad llamada cáncer", en lugar de "Dios se llevó a su padre porque era un buen hombre" o " Tu papá está visitando el cielo "o" Tu papá murió porque estaba muy enfermo ".

2. Ofrezca consuelo para sus miedos: los niños/as/xs que experiencian la muerte de un ser querido suelen temen por ellos mismos o por la vida de otros miembros de la familia. Hable abierta y honestamente con los niños/as/xs y explique que "la mayoría de la gente vive hasta que son muy viejos".

3. Ofrezca la seguridad de que no tienen la culpa de la muerte: muchas veces los niños/as/xs creen que "causaron" la muerte por mal comportamiento, discusión o deseo de daño. Explique claramente que esto no causa que alguien muera.

4. Use la terminología correcta al explicar lo que le sucede al cuerpo cuando alguien muere: indique claramente que el cuerpo de la persona ha dejado de funcionar, que la persona ha muerto y que no volverá. Explique el proceso de entierro/cremación y deje en claro que la persona no puede sentir ningún dolor.

5. Desarrolle un plan con niños/as/xs: decida y explíqueles quién los cuidará y amará si algo le sucede. "Mami no planea que le pase nada, pero si algo sucede, la tía Jenny estará allí para cuidar de ti".

6. Incluya a los niños/as/xs en los rituales de dolor familiar: explique lo que pueden esperar que suceda durante el ritual y pregúnteles si hay algo especial que les gustaría decir o hacer. Tenga un adulto atento allí para que lo apoye y responda cualquier pregunta que pueda tener.

7. Acepte los sentimientos de los niños/as/xs sobre la muerte: los niños/as/xs típicamente tienen una amplia gama de emociones después de una muerte. Los niños/as/xs expresan su dolor de manera diferente que los adultos. En su desarrollo solo pueden manejar pequeñas cantidades de dolor/pena a la vez; por lo tanto, pueden estar abiertamente tristes un momento y jugar felizmente al siguiente. Este es un comportamiento normal, especialmente para los niños/as/xs más pequeños.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
En Español: Siete Sugerencias para Explicar la Muerte a los Niños/as/xs

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
En Englés: Seven Suggestions for Explaining Death to Children 1. Explique la causa inmediata de la muerte de manera simple y honesta: evite los eufemismos o dé una interpretación filosófica o religiosa: "Su padre murió de una enfermedad llamada cáncer", en lugar de "Dios se llevó a su padre porque era un buen hombre" o " Tu papá está visitando el cielo "o" Tu papá murió porque estaba muy enfermo ".

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
A tragic event is difficult to comprehend for even the most mature, knowledgeable adult. For children and adolescents faced with trying to understand such an overwhelming experience, the task is even more daunting. How can a young person grasp the enormity, meaning, and consequences of an occurrence that brought death, injury, or harm into his life? These are the times, as parents and teachers, when words fail us. Sometimes we are consumed with our own emotions and other times, we cannot seem to begin these important conversations. But literature can give us a starting point. Because stories are a form of medicine. They offer catharsis, they hold a mirror so we can better see our own experiences, and they invite us to question, demand answers, get angry, feel sad, and somehow learn to cope and grow and move forward in our experience. Because books can be such a powerful balm during a time of grief, here's our list of favorite books for kids and teens that explore the difficult experiences of death, grief, loss, and bereavement.
The Dead Bird by Margaret Wise Brown (Harper-Collins, 2016) Ages 4 and up
Finding a still warm but dead bird, a group of children give it a fitting burial and every day, until they forget, come again to the woods to sing to the dead bird and place fresh flowers on its grave. An excellent book handling the subject of death in which all young children have a natural interest.

The Heart and The Bottle by Oliver Jeffers (Philomel Books, 2010)

There is a wonder and magic to childhood. We don't realize it at the time, of course... yet the adults in our lives do. They encourage us to see things in the stars and to find joy in colors and laughter as we play. But what happens when that special someone who encourages such wonder and magic is no longer around? We can hide, we can place our heart in a bottle and grow up... or we can find another special someone who understands the magic. And we can encourage them to see things in the stars and find joy among colors and laughter. This remarkable book is a touching and resonant tale that will speak to the hearts of children and parents alike.
Ages 4 and up
Listen by Holly McGhee (Roaring Book Press, 2019)

Experience the power of listening to your heart, paying attention, love, and empathy in , a simple and tender picture book by Holly M. McGhee and Pascal Lemaitre, the creators of the New York Times bestseller Come With Me . The buoyant verses and gentle art show young readers how to connect with the whole world. From exploring sensorial surroundings ― what you see, breathe, hear, taste, and feel ― to becoming aware of our shared experiences.
Ages 4-7
A Shelter for Sadness by Anne Booth (Peachtree Press, 2021)

A small boy creates a shelter for his sadness so that he can visit it whenever he needs to, and the two of them can cry, talk, or just sit. The boy knows that one day his sadness may come out of the shelter, and together they will look out at the world and see how beautiful it is. In this timely consideration of sadness and mental health, Anne Booth offers a beautiful depiction of how children (and everyone else) must care for their emotions and give attention to their grief on a regular basis.
Ages 5 and up
Sweet Sweet Memory by Jacqueline Woodson and Floyd Cooper (Jump at the Sun, 2007)

Now that Grandpa's gone, Sarah tries to remember what he used to say about the garden. Like us, he would tell her, a part of it never dies. Everything and everyone goes on and on. But Sarah feels very sad, even though Grandma and all the relatives are with her, sharing stories and hugs. How can life go on without Grandpa? As summer slips into fall, Grandma and Sarah share a rich garden harvest and their sweet, sweet memories of Grandpa. The stories and memories of loved ones, Sarah learns, are what keeps everything and everyone going on and on. This spare and beautiful picture book balances sadness and mourning with the comforting notion of the continuity of all life.

When the boy in this story wakes up to find that his mother has died, he is overwhelmed with sadness, anger, and fear that he will forget her. He shuts all the windows to keep in his mother's familiar smell and scratches open the cut on his knee to remember her comforting voice. He doesn't know how to speak to his dad anymore, and when Grandma visits and throws open the windows, it's more than the boy can take - until his grandmother shows him another way to feel that his mom's love is near. With tenderness, touches of humor, and unflinching emotional truth, The Scar captures the loneliness of grief through the eyes of a child, rendered with sympathy and charm.
Grades K-3
Currently out of print but available in libraries or through sellers like Thiftbooks.com and .
The Scar by Charlotte Moundic (Candlewick Press, 2011) Grades K-4
The Color of Absence: 12 Stories About Loss and Hope edited by James Howe (Simon & Schuster)

"In adolescence, we feel our losses as if for the first time, with a greater depth of pain and drama than we are aware of having experienced ever before," writes James Howe in his introduction to this collection of short stories which celebrated fiction authors for young adults explore the many faces of loss - the common thread they share and the hope that is borne through change. Featuring stories by Naomi Shihab Nye, Jacqueline Woodson, Chris Lynch, Walter Dean Myers, Annette Curtis Klause, Norma Fox Mazer, and others.

Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson (Harper Festival, 2006)
Grades 6-10
This Newbery Medal-winning novel revolves around two friends. Jess Aarons is eager to start fifth grade and wants to become the fastest runner at school. All seems to be on track, until the new girl in class, Leslie Burke, leaves all the boys in the dust, including Jess. But the two become fast friends and spend most of their days in the woods behind Leslie's house, where they invent an enchanted land called Terabithia. One morning, Leslie goes to Terabithia without Jess and a tragedy occurs. It will take the love of his family and the strength that Leslie has given him for Jess to be able to deal with his grief. Author Katherine Paterson wrote the book for her son, who lost a friend in a tragic accident at the age of 8.

Ab(solutely) Normal: Short Stories That Smash Mental Health Stereotypes edited by Nora Shalaway Carpenter & Rocky Callen (Penguin Randomhouse, April 2023)
Ages 9 and up
In this inspiring, unflinching, and hope-filled mixed-genre collection, sixteen diverse and notable authors draw on their own lived experiences with mental health conditions to create works of fiction that will uplift and empower you, break your heart and stitch it back together stronger than before. Through powerful prose, verse, and graphics, the characters in this anthology defy stereotypes and remind readers that living with a mental health condition doesn't mean that you're defined by it. Each story is followed by a note from its author to the reader, and comprehensive back matter includes bios for the contributors as well as a collection of relevant resources. A discussion guide for parents, young people, and teachers will be available.

Join the Movement

Interested in helping change how the nation addresses bereavement?
Teen & Young Adults Sign up to help make the world a more livable place for bereaved children and families!

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Best Books for Kids and Teens on Death, Grief, and Bereavement " Evermore

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
A tragic event is difficult to comprehend for even the most mature, knowledgeable adult. For children and adolescents faced with trying to understand such an overwhelming experience, the task is even more daunting. How can a young person grasp the enormity, meaning, and consequences of an occurrence that brought death, injury, or harm into his life?

# data[].attributes.headline
Understanding Child and Adolescent Grief

# data[].attributes.subject
Understanding Child and Adolescent Grief

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Understanding Child and Adolescent Grief: Supporting Loss and Facilitating Growth (Series in Death, Dying, and Bereavement)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Amazon.com: Understanding Child and Adolescent Grief: Supporting Loss and Facilitating Growth (Series in Death, Dying, and Bereavement): 9781138740884: Arnold, Carrie: Books

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
One Wave at a Time: A Story about Grief and Healing

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
One Wave at a Time: A Story about Grief and Healing [Thompson, Holly, Crowley, Ashley] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. One Wave at a Time: A Story about Grief and Healing

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Where Do Balloons Go? An Uplifting Mystery

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Where Do Balloons Go? An Uplifting Mystery [Curtis, Jamie Lee, Cornell, Laura] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Where Do Balloons Go? An Uplifting Mystery

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
When grief hits a family, children often become the focus - how to talk to them about death, how to recognize if they are grieving 'normally', how to create open communication and dialogue. etc. When we ask adults what they need in their grief often their first response is what they need for their children. We have number of articles on WYG offering this type of support. We have posts on the impact of age on understanding , on grief journals and workbooks for kid s, on the risks of using euphemisms , on art activities for grieving kids , on art activities for grieving kids and adults , on talking to kids about suicide , an activity book for kids after a suicide , on holiday activities for kid s, and more holiday activities for kids. We also have an article reminding you why it is important to take care of yourself in order to better care for the children in your life. But one thing that we don't have is a list of kids books about death and grief, despite the fact that we get asked about this fairly often.

We have talked about journal, activity and workbooks for kids , but sometimes a story is the best way to open a dialogue. Often reading a story can help kids know they are not alone and normalize what they are experiencing. It can offer a safe way to open a dialogue with children about death and grief, in groups, as a family, or one-on-one. So today, here it is! We have a list of 64 children's books about grief. As with all of our '64 things' lists, we know this is not an exhaustive list. Please add your favorites in the comments. The books are primarily for the 10 and under crowd but, rest assured, a list of 64 Young Adult novels about grief is on the horizon.

1. Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children (kids 5+)

2. The Invisible String (kids 3+)

3. Everett Anderson's Goodbye (Reading Rainbow) (kids 5-8)

4. The Tenth Good Thing About Barney (kids 6-9)

5. I'll Always Love You (kids 3-7)

6. When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death (Dino Life Guides for Families) (kids 4-8)

7. I Miss You: A First Look at Death (First Look at Books) (kids 4+)

8. The Saddest Time (kids 6-9)

9. Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss (kids 8+)

10. The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages (kids 4+)

11. Gentle Willow: A Story for Children About Dying (kids 4+)

12. Where Are You? A Child's Book About Loss (kids 4-8)

13. Samantha Jane's Missing Smile: A Story About Coping With the Loss of a Parent (kids 5+)

14. The Scar (kids5-9)

15. A Terrible Thing Happened (kids 4+)

16. The Elephant in the Room: A Childrens Book for Grief and Loss (kids 4+)

17. The Boy Who Didn't Want to Be Sad (kids 4+)

18. I Wish I Could Hold Your Hand...: A Child's Guide to Grief and Loss (Little Imp Books) (kids 9+)

19. Water Bugs and Dragonflies: Explaining Death to Young Children (kids 4+)

20. When Your Grandparent Dies: A Child's Guide to Good Grief (Elf-Help Books for Kids) (kids 5+)

21. Someone I Love Died (kids 4-8)

22. What Happened When Grandma Died? (kids 4+)

23. Always and Forever (kids 4+)

24. Badger's Parting Gifts (kids 4-8)

25. Ghost Wings (kids 5+)

26. Finding Grandpa Everywhere: A Young Child Discovers Memories of a Grandparent (kids 7+)

27. The Grandpa Tree (kids 3+)

28. Sad Isn't Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing with Loss (Elf-Help Books for Kids) (kids 6+)

29. Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs (Picture Puffins) (kids 4-8)

30. Daddy, Up and Down: Sisters Grieve the Loss of Their Daddy (kids 4-8)

31. Saying Goodbye to Daddy (kids 4+)

32. The Angel with the Golden Glow: A Family's Journey Through Loss and Healing (kids 4+)

33. Where's Jess: For Children Who Have a Brother or Sister Die (kids 3-6)

34. A Taste of Blackberries (kids 8-12)

35. Bridge to Terabithia (kids 8-12)

36. My Grandson Lew (kids 4-6)

37. Aarvy Aardvark Finds Hope: A Read Aloud Story for People of All Ages About Loving and Losing, Friendship and Hope (as the title says, people of all ages!)

38. The Empty Place: A Child's Guide Through Grief (Let's Talk) (kids 5-10)

39. Dancing on the Moon (kids 3+)

40. Lost and Found: Remembering a Sister (kids 6+)

41. Stacy Had a Little Sister (A Concept Book) (kids 4+)

42. Ragtail Remembers: A Story That Helps Children Understand Feelings of Grief (kids 4+)

43. Goodbye Mousie (kids 4-8)

44. Remembering Crystal (kids 3+)

45. Rudi's Pond (kids 5-8)

46. The Memory String (kids 4-8)

47. Sammy in the Sky (kids 4-8)

48. Where Do People Go When They Die? (kids 3-8)

49. Chester Raccoon and the Acorn Full of Memories (kids 3-8)

50. Her Mother's Face (kids 4-8)

51. Remembering Mama (kids 4+)

52. Old Pig (Picture Puffin) (kids 3-8)

53. Pearl's Marigolds for Grandpa (kids 3-7)

54. Saying Goodbye to Lulu (kids 3-6)

55. The Mountains of Tibet (kids 7+)

56. Rabbityness (kids 3-7)

57. I Wish I Could Hold Your Hand...: A Child's Guide to Grief and Loss (Little Imp Books) (kids 9+)

58. Can You Hear Me Smiling?: A Child Grieves a Sister (kids 8+)

59. The Copper Tree (kids 5-8)

60. Everybody Feels Sad (kids 4+)

61. Grief is Like a Snowflake (kids 4+)

62. My Baby Big Sister: A Book for Children Born Subsequent to a Pregnancy Loss (kids 4-8)

63. Ladder to the Moon (kids 4-8)

64. Missing Mommy: A Book About Bereavement (kids 3-8).
Subscribe to get all our helpful grief posts sent right to your inbox!
We post a new article to What's Your Grief about once a week. Subscribe to stay up to date on all our posts.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
64 Children's Books About Death and Grief - Whats your Grief

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
When grief hits a family, children often become the focus - how to talk to them about death, how to recognize if they are grieving 'normally', how to create open communication and dialogue. etc. When we ask adults what they need in their grief often their first response [...]

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Someone you love is grieving. Do you know what to do, what to say, and how to help? Or do you say "I'm so sorry", pick up what everyone else does, and perpetuate the mistakes? Let this book be your personal, informative, enlightening guide. Learn what to ask, what to say, how to write a condolence card, what books to recommend, concrete actions to take, and the best ways to be truly helpful and supportive to those you care about, especially when they go through the toughest times of their lives. Make a difference when it counts the most.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
A Friend Indeed: Help Those You Love When They Grieve.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
A Friend Indeed: Help Those You Love When They Grieve. [Florian, Amy, Florian, Ken] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. A Friend Indeed: Help Those You Love When They Grieve.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Give your child the help and support needed to cope with grief and loss.

Guiding Your Child Through Grief, by the founders of the New England Center for Loss & Transition and The Cove, a highly praised program for grieving children, takes away the uncertainty and helpless feelings we commonly feel as we reach out to children who mourn. This caring and compassionate guide offers expert advice during difficult days to help a child grieve the death of a parent or sibling. Based on their experience as counselors--and as parents of grieving children--the authors help readers to understand:

The many ways children grieve, often in secret
Changes in family dynamics after death--and straightforward, effective ways to ease the transition
Ways to communicate with children about death and grief
How to cope with the intense sorrow triggered by holidays
The signs grief has turned to depression--and where to find help
And more insights, information, and advice that can
help a child heal

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Guiding Your Child Through Grief [James P. Emswiler, Mary Ann Emswiler] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Guiding Your Child Through Grief

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Six Books for Grieving Teenagers - Whats your Grief

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
It is a little terrifying when you realize time is escaping you. I was going to start this post by saying “last month Eleanor wrote a post about helping teens who are grieving”. But it turns out that post was in SEPTEMBER. It is DECEMBER!! I have apparently […]

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Well, we've gotten a bit carried away...again. Our intention was to provide you with a list of 64 memoirs or novels about death and grief; you know, so you could add a little light reading to your summer book list. I quickly realized that 64 books (with links and descriptions) might be a bit much, so instead we're going to start with 32 books about grief and death and save the other half of the list for another day. These are all either books we've read and loved or books we have on our own reading lists.

1. Mourning Diary by Roland Barthes

"The day after his mother's death in October 1977, Roland Barthes began a diary of mourning. For nearly two years, the legendary French theorist wrote about a solitude new to him; about the ebb and flow of sadness; about the slow pace of mourning, and life reclaimed through writing."

2. A Widow's Story: A Memoir by Joyce Carol Oates

""A Widow's Story" is the universally acclaimed author's poignant, intimate memoir about the unexpected death of Raymond Smith, her husband of forty six years, and its wrenching, surprising aftermath."

3. Wave by Sonali Deraniyagala

"In 2004, at a beach resort on the coast of Sri Lanka, Sonali Deraniyagala and her family - parents, husband, sons - were swept away by a tsunami. Only Sonali survived to tell their tale. This is her account of the nearly incomprehensible event and its aftermath."

4. Her: A Memoir by Christa Parravani

"Christa Parravani and her identical twin, Cara, were linked by a bond that went beyond sibling hood, beyond sisterhood, beyond friendship...But, haunted by childhood experiences with father figures and further damaged by being raped as a young adult, Cara veered off the path to robust work and life and in to depression, drugs and a shocking early death. Beautifully written, mesmerizingly rich and true Christa Parravani's account of being left, one half of a whole, and of her desperate, ultimately triumphant struggle for survival is informative, heart-wrenching and unforgettably beautiful."

5. Say Her Name: A Novel by Francisco Goldman

"In 2005, celebrated novelist Francisco Goldman married a beautiful young writer names Aura Estrada in a romantic Mexican hacienda. The month before their second anniversary, during a long-awaited holiday, Aura broke her neck while body surfing. Francisco, blamed for Aura's death by her family and blaming himself, wanted to die, too. Instead, he wrote "Say her Name", a novel chronicling his grief love and unspeakable loss, tracking the stages of grief when pure love gives way to bottomless pain."

6. Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time by Rob Sheffield

"In 2007 Rolling Stone's writer Rob Sheffield wrote his memoir, "Love is a Mixtape: Life and Loss One Song at A Time". The concept was simple, 22 chapters written around 22 mix tapes. The content was not: grief, love, and a relationship that ended far too soon when his wife, Renee, unexpectedly died of a pulmonary embolism." [Read our thoughts here]

7. Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed

"At twenty-two, Cheryl Strayed thought she had lost everything. In the wake of her mother's death, her family scattered and her own marriage was soon destroyed. Four years later, with nothing more to lose, she made the most impulsive decision of her life. With no experience or training, driven only by blind will, she would hike more than a thousand miles of the Pacific Crest Trail from the Mojave Desert through California and Oregon to Washington State-and she would do it alone. Told with suspense and style, sparkling with warmth and humor, Wild powerfully captures the terrors and pleasures of one young woman forging ahead against all odds on a journey that maddened, strengthened, and ultimately healed her."

8. Death Be Not Proud (P.S.) by John J Gunther

"Johnny Gunther was only seventeen years old when he died of a brain tumor. During the months of his illness, everyone near him was unforgettably impressed by his level-headed courage, his wit and quiet friendliness, and, above all, his unfaltering patience through times of despair. This deeply moving book is a father's memoir of a brave, intelligent, and spirited boy."

9. Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson by Mitch Albom

"[Mitch Albom] rediscovered Morrie [a college professor from twenty years prior] in the last months of the older mans life. Knowing he was dying, Morrie visited with Mitch in his study every Tuesday, just as they used to back in college. Their rekindled relationship turned into one final "class": lessons in how to live."

10. Poems of Mourning (Everyman's Library Pocket Poets) by Peter Washington

"Saluting, lamenting and honoring the dead are the poet's primal tasts in all ages. Whether it be Ben Jonson pining for his son, Keats and Rilke envisaging their own demise, Wilfred Owen commemorating comrades in war, or Homer's Odysseus grieving over his dog-all give expression to the universal need for mourning. But mourning has many forms and moods, and this collection explores them all, from Tennyson's black grief to Whitman's radiant melancholy, from Hardy's despair to Rochester's humor, from Sassoon's anger to Christina Rossetti's tender resignation."

11. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers

"The moving memoir of a college senior who, in the space of five weeks, loses both of his parents to cancer and inherits his eight-year-old brother. Here is an exhilarating debut that manages to be simultaneously hilarious and wildly inventive as well as a deeply heartfelt story of the love that holds a family together."

12. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (Revised Edition) by Jesse Andrews

"It is a universally acknowledged truth that high school sucks. But on the first day of his senior year, Greg Gaines thinks he's figured it out. The answer to the basic existential question: How is it possible to exist in a place that sucks so bad? His strategy: remain at the periphery at all times. Keep an insanely low profile. Make mediocre films with the one person who is even sort of his friend, Earl. This plan works for exactly eight hours. Then Greg's mom forces him to become friends with a girl who has cancer. This brings about the destruction of Greg's entire life." [For young adult literature lovers]

13. Ordinary People by Judith Guest

"Judith Guest's remarkable first novel, the Jarrets are a typical American family. Calvin is a determined, successful provider and Beth an organized, efficient wife. They had two sons, Conrad and Buck, but now they have one. In this memorable, moving novel, Judith Guest takes the reader into their lives to share their misunderstandings, pain...and ultimate healing."

14. The Long Goodbye: A Memoir by Meghan O'Rourke

"What is it like to mourn today, in a culture that has largely set aside rituals that acknowledge grief? After her mother died of cancer at the age of fifty-five, Meghan O'Rourke found that nothing had prepared her for the intensity of her sorrow. She began to create a record of her interior life as a mourner, trying to capture the paradox of grief-its monumental agony and microscopic intimacies-an endeavor that ultimately bloomed into a profound look at how caring for her mother during her illness changed and strengthened their bond. With lyricism and unswerving candor, The Long Goodbye captures the fleeting moments of joy that make up a life and the way memory can lead us out of the jagged darkness of loss. Effortlessly blending research and reflection, the personal and the universal, it is a love letter from a daughter to a mother that will touch any reader who has felt the powerful ties of familial love." [Read our thoughts on the book here]

15. Hamlet by William Shakespeare

If you like Shakespeare, Hamlet is your man.

16. Swimming in a Sea of Death: A Son's Memoir by David Rieff

"David Rieff's loving tribute to his mother, the writer Susan Sontag, and her final battle with cancer. Rieff's brave, passionate, and unsparing witness of the last nine months of her life, from her initial diagnosis to her death, is both an intensely personal portrait of the relationship between a mother and a son, and a reflection on what it is like to try to help someone gravely ill in her fight to go on living and, when the time comes, to die with dignity."

17. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer

"Nine-year-old Oskar Schell has embarked on an urgent, secret mission that will take him through the five boroughs of New York. His goal is to find the lock that matches a mysterious key that belonged to his father, who died in the World Trade Center on the morning of September 11. This seemingly impossible task will bring Oskar into contact with survivors of all sorts on an exhilarating, affecting, often hilarious, and ultimately healing journey."

18. Bough Down by Karen Green

"In this profoundly beautiful and intensely moving lament, artist and writer Karen Green conjures the inscrutable space of love and loss, clarity and contradiction, sense and madness. She summons memory and the machination of the interior mind with the emotional acuity of music as she charts her passage through the devastation of her husband's suicide. In crystalline fragments of text, Green's voice is paradoxically confessional and non-confessional: moments in her journey are devastating but also luminous, exacting in sensation but also ambiguous and layered in meaning."

19. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

"From one of America's iconic writers, a stunning book of electric honesty and passion. Joan Didion explores an intensely personal yet universal experience: a portrait of a marriage-and a life, in good times and bad-that will speak to anyone who has ever loved a husband or wife or child."

20. Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love by Anna Whiston-Donaldson

"On an ordinary September day, twelve-year-old Jack is swept away in a freak neighborhood flood. His parents and younger sister are left to wrestle with the awful questions: How could God let this happen? And, Can we ever be happy again? They each fall into the abyss of grief in different ways. And in the days and months to come, they each find their faltering way toward peace."

21. Giving Up the Ghost : A Memoir by Hilary Mantel

"In postwar rural England, Hilary Mantel grew up convinced that the most improbable of accomplishments, including "chivalry, horsemanship, and swordplay," were within her grasp. Once married, however, she acquired a persistent pain that led to destructive drugs and patronizing psychiatry, ending in an ineffective but irrevocable surgery. There would be no children; in herself she found instead one novel, and then another."

22. Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss by Hope Edelman

"Building on interviews with hundreds of mother- loss survivors, this life-affirming book is now newly expanded to reflect the author's personal experience with the continued legacy of mother loss; now married and a mother of young children herself, Edelman better understands how the effects of mother loss change over time and in light of new relationships."

23. H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald

"When Helen Macdonald's father died suddenly on a London street, she was devastated. An experienced falconer-Helen had been captivated by hawks since childhood-she'd never before been tempted to train one of the most vicious predators, the goshawk. But in her grief, she saw that the goshawk's fierce and feral temperament mirrored her own. Resolving to purchase and raise the deadly creature as a means to cope with her loss, she adopted Mabel, and turned to the guidance of "The Once and Future King" author T.H. White's chronicle "The Goshawk" to begin her challenging endeavor. Projecting herself "in the hawk's wild mind to tame her" tested the limits of Macdonald's humanity and changed her life."

24. The Still Point of the Turning World by Emily Rapp

"What does it mean to be a success? To be a good parent? To live a meaningful life? Emily Rapp thought she knew the answers when she was pregnant with her first child. But everything changed when nine-month-old Ronan was diagnosed with Tay-Sachs disease, a rare and always-fatal degenerative disorder. He was not expected to live beyond the age of three. Rapp and her husband were forced to re-evaluate everything they thought they knew about parenting and to learn to parent without a future."

25. The Beginner's Goodbye: A Novel by Anne Tyler

"Crippled in his right arm and leg, Aaron grew up fending off a sister who constantly wanted to manage him. So when he meets Dorothy, an outspoken, independent young woman, she's like a breath of fresh air. He marries her without hesitation, and they have a relatively happy, unremarkable marriage. Aaron works at his family's vanity-publishing business, turning out titles that presume to guide beginners through the trials of life. But when a tree crashes into their house and Dorothy is killed, Aaron feels as though he has been erased forever. Only Dorothy's unexpected appearances from the dead-in their house, on the roadway, in the market-help him to live in the moment and to find some peace. Gradually, Aaron discovers that maybe for this beginner there is indeed a way to say goodbye."

26. A Monster Calls: Inspired by an idea from Siobhan Dowd by Patrick Ness

"At seven minutes past midnight, thirteen-year-old Conor wakes to find a monster outside his bedroom window. But it isn't the monster Conor's been expecting- he's been expecting the one from his nightmare, the nightmare he's had nearly every night since his mother started her treatments. The monster in his backyard is different. It's ancient. And wild. And it wants something from Conor. Something terrible and dangerous. It wants the truth. From the final idea of award-winning author Siobhan Dowd- whose premature death from cancer prevented her from writing it herself- Patrick Ness has spun a haunting and darkly funny novel of mischief, loss, and monsters both real and imagined." [For young adult literature lovers]

27. A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis

"Written after his wife's tragic death as a way of surviving the "mad midnight moment," A Grief Observed is C.S. Lewis's honest reflection on the fundamental issues of life, death, and faith in the midst of loss. This work contains his concise, genuine reflections on that period: "Nothing will shake a man - or at any rate a man like me - out of his merely verbal thinking and his merely notional beliefs. He has to be knocked silly before he comes to his senses. Only torture will bring out the truth. Only under torture does he discover it himself." This is a beautiful and unflinchingly honest record of how even a stalwart believer can lose all sense of meaning in the universe, and how he can gradually regain his bearings."

28. Sweet Hereafter: A Novel by Russell Banks

"Russell Banks tells a story that begins with a school bus accident. Using four different narrators, Banks creates a small-town morality play that addresses one of life's most agonizing questions: when the worst thing happens, who do you blame?"

29. The Best Day the Worst Day: Life with Jane Kenyon by Donald Hall

"In an intimate record of his twenty-three-year marriage to poet Jane Kenyon, Donald Hall recounts the rich pleasures and the unforeseen trials of their shared life. The couple made a home at their New England farmhouse, where they rejoiced in rituals of writing, gardening, caring for pets, and connecting with their rural community through friends and church. "The Best Day the Worst Day" presents a portrait of the inner moods of "the best marriage I know about," as Hall has written, against the stark medical emergency of Jane's leukemia, which ended her life in fifteen months. Between recollections of better times, Hall shares with readers the daily ordeal of Jane's dying through heartbreaking but ultimately inspiring storytelling."

30. The End of Your Life Book Club by Will Schwalbe

"During her treatment for cancer, Mary Anne Schwalbe and her son Will spent many hours sitting in waiting rooms together. To pass the time, they would talk about the books they were reading. Once, by chance, they read the same book at the same time-and an informal book club of two was born. Through their wide-ranging reading, Will and Mary Anne-and we, their fellow readers-are reminded how books can be comforting, astonishing, and illuminating, changing the way that we feel about and interact with the world around us."

31. Wit: A Play by Margaret Edson

"Margaret Edson's powerfully imagined Pulitzer Prize-winning play examines what makes life worth living through her exploration of one of existence's unifying experiences-mortality-while she also probes the vital importance of human relationships. What we as her audience take away from this remarkable drama is a keener sense that, while death is real and unavoidable, our lives are ours to cherish or throw away-a lesson that can be both uplifting and redemptive."

32. Half a Life: A Memoir by Darin Strauss

"In this powerful, unforgettable memoir, acclaimed novelist Darin Strauss examines the far-reaching consequences of the tragic moment that has shadowed his whole life. In his last month of high school, he was behind the wheel of his dad's Oldsmobile, driving with friends, heading off to play mini-golf. Then: a classmate swerved in front of his car. The collision resulted in her death. With piercing insight and stark prose, Darin Strauss leads us on a deeply personal, immediate, and emotional journey-graduating high school, going away to college, starting his writing career, falling in love with his future wife, becoming a father. Along the way, he takes a hard look at loss and guilt, maturity and accountability, hope and, at last, acceptance. The result is a staggering, uplifting tour de force."
What grief books would you recommend? Let us know in the comments below.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Well, we've gotten a bit carried away...again. Our intention was to provide you with a list of 64 memoirs or novels about death and grief; you know, so you could add a little light reading to your summer book list.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
A few weeks ago, we put together the first half of a book list about death and grief. Today, we're finally getting around to posting the second half.

Some of these books we've read, while others are on our 'want to read' list. Although there are many self-help/advice/informative type books out there written specifically to help people get through grief, you will not find any on our list. The vast majority of the books we've listed are memoirs or novels, but if you are looking for a book specifically focused on helping you get through grief you should check out the comments section of our first post, 32 Books About Death and Grief, because many people left recommendations.

1. The Disappearance: A Primer of Loss by Genevieve Jorgensen

What do you do, how do you live, when both of your daughters are killed on the same afternoon? On April 30, 1980, Geneviève Jurgensen found herself facing that question when she lost her four- and seven-year-old daughters to a drunk driver. Here she presents her search for an answer. Read our post on 'The Disappearance' here.

2. The Accidental Tourist: A Novel (Ballantine Reader's Circle) by Anne Tyler

Macon Leary is a travel writer who hates both travel and anything out of the ordinary. He is grounded by loneliness and an unwillingness to compromise his creature comforts when he meets Muriel, a deliciously peculiar dog-obedience trainer who up-ends Macon's insular world-and thrusts him headlong into a remarkable engagement with life.

3. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

When we first meet 14-year-old Susie Salmon, she is already in heaven. This was before milk carton photos and public service announcements, she tells us; back in 1973, when Susie mysteriously disappeared, people still believed these things didn't happen. In the sweet, untroubled voice of a precocious teenage girl, Susie relates the awful events of her death and her own adjustment to the strange new place she finds herself. It looks a lot like her school playground, with the good kind of swing sets. With love, longing, and a growing understanding, Susie watches her family as they cope with their grief, her father embarks on a search for the killer, her sister undertakes a feat of amazing daring, her little brother builds a fort in her honor and begin the difficult process of healing. In the hands of a brilliant novelist, this story of seemingly unbearable tragedy is transformed into a suspenseful and touching story about family, memory, love, heaven, and living.

4. My Sister's Keeper: A Novel (Wsp Readers Club) by Jodi Picoult

Anna is not sick, but she might as well be. By age thirteen, she has undergone countless surgeries, transfusions, and shots so that her older sister, Kate, can somehow fight the leukemia that has plagued her since childhood. The product of preimplantation genetic diagnosis, Anna was conceived as a bone marrow match for Kate-a life and a role that she has never challenged...until now. Like most teenagers, Anna is beginning to question who she truly is. But unlike most teenagers, she has always been defined in terms of her sister-and so Anna makes a decision that for most would be unthinkable, a decision that will tear her family apart and have perhaps fatal consequences for the sister she loves.

5. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few years, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel's story is about to be completely rewritten. Read our post on 'The Fault in Our Stars' here.

6. Men We Reaped: A Memoir

Jesmyn's memoir shines a light on the community she comes from, in the small town of DeLisle, Mississippi, a place of quiet beauty and fierce attachment. Here, in the space of four years, she lost five young men dear to her, including her beloved brother-lost to drugs, accidents, murder, and suicide. Their deaths were seemingly unconnected, yet their lives had been connected, by identity and place, and as Jesmyn dealt with these losses, she came to a staggering truth: These young men died because of who they were and the place they were from, because certain disadvantages breed a certain kind of bad luck. Because they lived with a history of racism and economic struggle. The agonizing reality commanded Jesmyn to write, at last, their true stories and her own.

7. The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien

A classic work of American literature that has not stopped changing minds and lives since it burst onto the literary scene, The Things They Carried is a ground-breaking meditation on war, memory, imagination, and the redemptive power of storytelling.

8. A Very Easy Death (Pantheon Modern Writers Series) by Simone De Beauvoir

A Very Easy Death has long been considered one of Simone de Beauvoir's masterpieces. The profoundly moving, day-by-day recounting of her mother's death "shows the power of compassion when it is allied with acute intelligence.

9. Blue Nights by Joan Didion

From one of our most powerful writers, a work of stunning frankness about losing a daughter. Richly textured with memories from her own childhood and married life with her husband, John Gregory Dunne, and daughter, Quintana Roo, this new book by Joan Didion is an intensely personal and moving account of her thoughts, fears, and doubts regarding having children, illness and growing old. As she reflects on her daughter's life and on her role as a parent, Didion grapples with the candid questions that all parents face, and contemplates her age, something she finds hard to acknowledge, much less accept.

10. The Pure Lover: A Memoir of Grief by David Plante

The Pure Lover is David Plante's elegy to his beloved Nikos Stangos, their forty-year life together, and its tragic end. Written in vivid fragments that, like the pieces of a mosaic, come together into a glimmering whole, it shows us both the wild nature of grief and the intimate conversation that is love.

11. Nothing Was the Same by Kay Redfield Jamison

Kay Redfield Jamison, award-winning professor and writer, changed the way we think about moods and madness. Now Jamison uses her characteristic honesty, wit and eloquence to look back at her relationship with her husband, Richard Wyatt, a renowned scientist who died of cancer. Nothing was the Same is a penetrating psychological study of grief viewed from deep inside the experience itself.

12. Epilogue: A Memoir by Will Boast

Having already lost his mother and only brother, twenty-four-year-old Will Boast finds himself absolutely alone when his father dies of alcoholism. Numbly settling the matters of his father's estate, Boast is deep inside his grief when he stumbles upon documents revealing a secret his father had intended to keep: He'd had another family before Will's―a wife and two sons in England.
This revelation leads to a flood of new questions. Did his father abandon this first family, or was he pushed away? Still reeling from loss, Boast is forced to reconsider the fundamental truths of his childhood and to look for traces of the man his father might truly have been. Setting out in search of his half brothers, he attempts to reconcile their family history with his own, testing each childhood memory under the weight of his father's secret. Moving between the Midwest and England, from scenes of his youth to the tentative discovery of his new family, Boast writes with visceral beauty about grief, memory, and his slow and tender journey to a new kind of love.

13. Death's Door: Modern Dying and the Ways We Grieve by Sandra M. Gilbert

Prominent critic, poet, and memoirist Sandra M. Gilbert explores our relationship to death though literature, history, poetry, and societal practices. Does death change-and if it does, how has it changed in the last century? And how have our experiences and expressions of grief changed? Did the traumas of Hiroshima and the Holocaust transform our thinking about mortality? More recently, did the catastrophe of 9/11 alter our modes of mourning? And are there at the same time aspects of grief that barely change from age to age? Seneca wrote, "Anyone can stop a man's life but no one his death; a thousand doors open on to it." This inevitability has left varying marks on all human cultures. Exploring expressions of faith, burial customs, photographs, poems, and memoirs, acclaimed author Sandra M. Gilbert brings to the topic of death the critical skill that won her fame for The Madwoman in the Attic and other books, as she examines both the changelessness of grief and the changing customs that mark contemporary mourning.

14. Patrimony: A True Story by Philip Roth

Patrimony, a true story, touches the emotions as strongly as anything Philip Roth has ever written. Roth watches as his eighty-six-year-old father-famous for his vigor, charm, and his repertoire of Newark recollections-battles with the brain tumor that will kill him. The son, full of love, anxiety, and dread, accompanies his father through each fearful stage of his final ordeal, and, as he does so, discloses the survivalist tenacity that has distinguished his father's long, stubborn engagement with life.

15. After Visiting Friends: A Son's Story by Michael Hainey

"Family? Secrets? Sometimes I think they are the same thing." So writes Michael Hainey in this unforgettable story of a son's search to discover the decades-old truth about his father's mysterious death. Hainey was a boy of six when his father, a bright and shining star in the glamorous, hard-living world of 1960s Chicago newspapers, died under mysterious circumstances. His tragic absence left behind not only a young widow and two small sons but questions about family and truth that would obsess Michael for decades. Years later, Michael undertakes a risky journey to uncover the true story about what happened to his father. Prodding reluctant relatives and working through a network of his father's old colleagues, Michael begins to reconcile the father he lost with the one he comes to know. At the heart of his quest is his mother, a woman of courage and tenacity-and a steely determination to press on with her life. A universal story of love and loss and the resilience of family in the face of hardship, After Visiting Friends is the account of a son who goes searching for his father, and in the journey discovers new love and admiration for his mother. Read our post on 'After Visiting Friends' here.

16. Final Payments by Mary Gordon

When Isabel Moore's father dies, she finds herself, at the age of thirty, suddenly freed from eleven years of uninterrupted care for a helpless man. With all the patterns of her life suddenly rendered meaningless, she turns to childhood friends for support, gets a job, and becomes involved with two very different men. But just as her future begins to emerge, her past throws up a daunting challenge. A moving story of self-reinvention, Final Payments is a timeless exploration of the nature of friendship, desire, guilt, and love.

17. First Love by James Patterson

Axi Moore is a "good girl": She studies hard, stays out of the spotlight, and doesn't tell anyone that what she really wants is to run away from it all. The only person she can tell is her best friend, Robinson-who she also happens to be madly in love with. When Axi impulsively invites Robinson to come with her on an unplanned cross-country road trip, she breaks the rules for the first time in her life. But the adventure quickly turns from carefree to out-of-control... A remarkably moving tale with its origins in James Patterson's own past, First Love is testament to the power of first love-and how it can change the rest of your life.

18. As I Lay Dying: The Corrected Text by William Faulkner

As I Lay Dying is Faulkner's harrowing account of the Bundren family's odyssey across the Mississippi countryside to bury Addie, their wife and mother. Narrated in turn by each of the family members-including Addie herself-as well as others the novel ranges in mood, from dark comedy to the deepest pathos. Considered one of the most influential novels in American fiction in structure, style, and drama, As I Lay Dying is a true 20th-century classic.

19. A Complicated Kindness: A Novel by Miriam Toews

In this stunning coming-of-age novel, award-winner Miriam Toews balances grief and hope in the voice of a witty, beleaguered teenager whose family is shattered by fundamentalist Christianity. "Half of our family, the better-looking half, is missing," Nomi Nickel tells us at the beginning of A Complicated Kindness. Left alone with her sad, peculiar father, her days are spent piecing together why her mother and sister have disappeared and contemplating her inevitable career at Happy Family Farms, a chicken slaughterhouse on the outskirts of East Village. Not the East Village in New York City where Nomi would prefer to live, but an oppressive town founded by Mennonites on the cold, flat plains of Manitoba, Canada.

20. The Death of Ivan Ilyich (Bantam Classics) by Leo Tolstoy

Hailed as one of the world's supreme masterpieces on the subject of death and dying, The Death of Ivan Ilyich is the story of a worldly careerist, a high court judge who has never given the inevitability of his death so much as a passing thought. But one day death announces itself to him, and to his shocked surprise he is brought face to face with his own mortality. How, Tolstoy asks, does an unreflective man confront his one and only moment of truth?

21. Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace by Anne Lamott

In Small Victories, Lamott offers a new message of hope that celebrates the triumph of light over the darkness in our lives. Our victories over hardship and pain may seem small, she writes, but they change us-our perceptions, our perspectives, and our lives. Lamott writes of forgiveness, restoration, and transformation, how we can turn toward love even in the most hopeless situations, how we find the joy in getting lost and our amazement in finally being found.

22. The Summer of the Great-Grandmother (Crosswicks Journal, Book 2) by Madeline L'Engle

A loving daughter has promised her mother that she will never put her in a "nursing home" when the old lady is no longer able to live alone. But after her ninetieth birthday, when she arrives in Connecticut to spend the summer with her daughter's family, it becomes quickly apparent that atherosclerosis it taking its toll: the onoce-gentle Southern woman will not be able to make the trip home. This is the dilemma Madeleine L'Engle describes in this non-fiction book about the problems, crises, fustrations, and guilt engendered by her mother's rapid slide into senility.

23. Out Stealing Horses: A Novel by Per Petterson

Trond's friend Jon often appeared at his doorstep with an adventure in mind for the two of them. But this morning was different. What began as a joy ride on "borrowed" horses ends with Jon falling into a strange trance of grief. Trond soon learns what befell Jon earlier that day-an incident that marks the beginning of a series of vital losses for both boys.

24. A Scattering by Christopher Reid

Lucinda Gane, Christopher Reid's wife, died in October 2005. A Scattering is his tribute to her and consists of four poetic sequences, the first written during her illness, and the other three at intervals after her death.

25. A Widow for One Year by John Irving

Ruth Cole is a complex, often self-contradictory character-a "difficult" woman. By no means is she conventionally "nice," but she will never be forgotten. Ruth's story is told in three parts, each focusing on a crucial time in her life. When we first meet her-on Long Island, in the summer of 1958-Ruth is only four. The second window into Ruth's life opens in the fall of 1990, when Ruth is an unmarried woman whose personal life is not nearly as successful as her literary career. She distrusts her judgment in men, for good reason. A Widow for One Year closes in the autumn of 1995, when Ruth Cole is a forty-one-year-old widow and mother. She's about to fall in love for the first time.

26. Tell The Wolves I'm Home: A Novel by Carol Rifka Brunt

In this striking literary debut, Carol Rifka Brunt unfolds a moving story of love, grief, and renewal as two lonely people become the unlikeliest of friends and find that sometimes you don't know you've lost someone until you've found them.

27. Tolstoy and the Purple Chair: My Year of Magical Reading by Nina Sankovitch

Catalyzed by the loss of her sister, a mother of four spends one year savoring a greatbook every day, from Thomas Pynchon to Nora Ephron and beyond. In the tradition of Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project and Joan Dideon's A Year of Magical Thinking, Nina Sankovitch's soul-baring and literary-minded memoir is a chronicle of loss,hope, and redemption. Nina ultimately turns to reading as therapy andthrough her journey illuminates the power of books to help us reclaim our lives.

28. A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks

There was a time when the world was sweeter....when the women in Beaufort, North Carolina, wore dresses, and the men donned hats.... Every April, when the wind smells of both the sea and lilacs, Landon Carter remembers 1958, his last year at Beaufort High. Landon had dated a girl or two, and even once sworn that he'd been in love. Certainly the last person he thought he'd fall for was Jamie, the shy, almost ethereal daughter of the town's Baptist minister....Jamie, who was destined to show him the depths of the human heart-and the joy and pain of living.

29. A Death in the Family (Penguin Classics) by James Agee

Published in 1957, two years after its author's death at the age of forty-five, A Death in the Family remains a near-perfect work of art, an autobiographical novel that contains one of the most evocative depictions of loss and grief ever written. As Jay Follet hurries back to his home in Knoxville, Tennessee, he is killed in a car accident - a tragedy that destroys not only a life, but also the domestic happiness and contentment of a young family. A novel of great courage, lyric force, and powerful emotion, A Death in the Family is a masterpiece of American literature.

30. Night (Night) by Elie Wiesel

Night is Elie Wiesel's masterpiece, a candid, horrific, and deeply poignant autobiographical account of his survival as a teenager in the Nazi death camps. This new translation by Marion Wiesel, Elie's wife and frequent translator, presents this seminal memoir in the language and spirit truest to the author's original intent. And in a substantive new preface, Elie reflects on the enduring importance of Night and his lifelong, passionate dedication to ensuring that the world never forgets man's capacity for inhumanity to man.

31. Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral by Kris Radish

For Katherine Givens and the four women about to become her best friends, the adventure begins with a UPS package. Inside is a pair of red sneakers filled with ashes and a note that will forever change their lives. Katherine's oldest and dearest friend, the irrepressible Annie Freeman, left one final request-a traveling funeral-and she wants the most important women in her life as "pallbearers." From Sonoma to Manhattan, Katherine, Laura, Rebecca, Jill, and Marie will carry Annie's ashes to the special places in her life. At every stop there's a surprise encounter and a small miracle waiting, and as they whoop it up across the country, attracting interest wherever they go, they share their deepest secrets-tales of broken hearts and second chances, missed opportunities and new beginnings. And as they grieve over what they've lost, they discover how much is still possible if only they can unravel the secret Annie left them....

32. A Lesson Before Dying (Oprah's Book Club) by Ernest J. Gaines

A Lesson Before Dying, is set in a small Cajun community in the late 1940s. Jefferson, a young black man, is an unwitting party to a liquor store shoot out in which three men are killed; the only survivor, he is convicted of murder and sentenced to death. Grant Wiggins, who left his hometown for the university, has returned to the plantation school to teach. As he struggles with his decision whether to stay or escape to another state, his aunt and Jefferson's godmother persuade him to visit Jefferson in his cell and impart his learning and his pride to Jefferson before his death. In the end, the two men forge a bond as they both come to understand the simple heroism of resisting-and defying-the expected.
What do you guys think? Should we start a WYG book club? Go on and subscribe then.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
A few weeks ago, we put together the first half of a book list about death and grief. Today, we're finally getting around to posting the second half. Some of these books we've read, while others are on our 'want to read' list.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Death and grief are natural parts of the human experience, but addressing such heavy topics with kids can seem daunting.

There are many ways to dive into this conversation, and one powerful approach is through books. Authors of children's books have tackled how to explain death, the emotions that accompany loss, the grieving process and more in age-appropriate ways.

To aid parents in these discussions, we've rounded up 25 children's books that help kids understand death and grief.

Raise the kind of person you'd like to know

Subscribe to our parenting newsletter.

Realness delivered to your inbox

By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
25 Children's Books That Explain Death And Grief To Kids

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
These stories help kids understand and process loss.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
A heartbreaking doctor's visit. A fate she never saw coming. She'd dig deep for the strength she so desperately needed...
Seattle, 2015. Jenny Lisk was happy with a perfectly normal, busy life. But after the usual bustling week, Friday night turned from downtime into mild alarm when her forty-three-year-old spouse shared that he'd been feeling dizzy. And after ten days of his condition steadily worsening, she still wasn't prepared for the stunning news: He was terminally ill.

Reeling from his diagnosis of an inoperable brain tumor, Jenny suddenly became not only a wife, mother, and career woman, but also a cancer-patient caregiver and parent of grieving children. And her many fears and uncertainties swirled around one relentless question:

Did she have what it takes to help her young family survive?

Through a vulnerable, honest account of preparing for the death of a loved one, Jenny shares tips and information about childhood grief, how to be there for mourning friends, and ways online communities provide essential support. And for those who feel lost and alone, or are grappling with any kind of loss, her deeply personal journey provides a universal beacon of hope.

Future Widow: Losing My Husband, Saving My Family, and Finding My Voice is a brave and raw narrative that doesn't pull any punches on the realities of caregiving and bereavement. If you like captivating stories, authentic inspiration, and understanding the grieving process, then you'll find encouragement in Jenny Lisk's touching memoir.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Future Widow - Jenny Lisk | Widowed Parent Podcast

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
A heartbreaking doctor's visit. A fate she never saw coming. She'd dig deep for the strength she so desperately needed... Seattle, 2015. Jenny Lisk was happy with a perfectly normal, busy life. But after the usual bustling week, Friday night turned from downtime into mild alarm when her forty-three-year-old spouse shared that he'd been feeling dizzy.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Billy's Place is a community in the West Valley of Phoenix that provides comfort and companionship to kids and families experiencing grief-no matter where they are on their journey. Through support groups, special events, and a community of people who 'get it,' they help families rediscover moments of happiness without guilt. They nurture these moments as signs of hope for more promising days ahead.

Groups include family groups for kids who have lost a sibling, parent, or significant person in their lives, Young Adult Groups, a kids-only kicking back night, and a Traumatic Loss group which is those who have lost a loved one due to suicide, drug overdose, or homicide.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Kai's Journey - A Series for Families Navigating Grief | New York Life Foundation

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Billy's Place is a community in the West Valley of Phoenix that provides comfort and companionship to kids and families experiencing grief-no matter where they are on their journey. Through support groups, special events, and a community of people who 'get it,' they help families rediscover moments of happiness without guilt.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Grief and Trauma in Children provides easy-to-implement, ready-to-use therapy materials to help busy practitioners use grief and trauma interventions in real-world settings. All interventions in the book have been developed and researched with clinicians who faced challenging environments, including devastating natural disasters, and in communities where ongoing violence victimized children directly. Even in these stressful environments, clinicians found the interventions easy to implement, effective in helping children acquire coping skills, and effective in decreasing traumatic symptoms in order to proceed with grieving without impaired functioning.

Grief and Trauma in Children blends cognitive-behavioral therapy methods and narrative practices to present an integrated grief and trauma model that can be delivered individually, to a group of children, or to a family. The book uses the Draw, Discuss, Write, Witness (DDWW) method to help children explore narratives of resilience and build coping capacity, engage in restorative stories about what happened, and reconnect and reengage in meaningful ways that allow the child to enjoy life again and get back on-track developmentally.

Grief and Trauma in Children also provides up-to-date research on childhood bereavement and trauma, a brief description of the theoretical framework of the Grief and Trauma Intervention (GTI) model, a description of session-by-session goals and activities, case examples with ways to address common challenges, and photocopiable tools for clinicians to easily implement the model, such as session agendas, fidelity checklists, handouts for parents, and activity sheets for children.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Grief and Trauma in Children: An Evidence-Based Treatment Manual

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Grief and Trauma in Children provides easy-to-implement, ready-to-use therapy materials to help busy practitioners use grief and trauma interventions in real-world settings. All interventions in the book have been developed and researched with clinicians who faced challenging environments, including devastating natural disasters, and in communities where ongoing violence victimized children directly.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
COVID Grief Network is excited to announce that we will soon have a new home under Reimagine, a community-driven nonprofit dedicated to transforming the world by facing loss, death, and adversity together. Structurally, CGN organizers will be transitioning the Network over to Reimagine staff this summer, after which CGN will cease to be its own independent organization. To read the full announcement about the transition, please click here.

Over the last two years CGN has offered 1:1 and group-based grief support to young adults in their 20s and 30s who lost a loved one to COVID. In shifting towards these Reimagine programs our volunteer-run grief groups will no longer be offered in their current form.

Though our grief support groups as we know them will be ceasing, we are excited that there will be new opportunities to participate in group programming and workshops through Reimagine.

If you are interested in future offerings from Reimagine at the intersection of COVID, grief, and loss, sign up for Reimagine's list below and check out their current offerings here.

Click here to learn more from Reimagine

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
COVID Grief Network is excited to announce that we will soon have a new home under Reimagine , a community-driven nonprofit dedicated to transforming the world by facing loss, death, and adversity together. Structurally, CGN organizers will be transitioning the Network over to Reimagine staff this summer, after which CGN will cease to be its own independent organization.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative (GSSI) seeks to better equip teachers to care for grieving students by introducing GrievingStudents.org and other valuable grief resources to local schools.
For questions regarding the program, contact nylfoundation@newyorklife.com.
A Grief-Sensitive School is an accredited K-12 public or private institution that commits to help provide a supportive environment for students who have experienced the death of a loved one.

When it comes to grief support at school, many teachers feel under-prepared to help: a recent study revealed that only 7% of classroom teachers have received any amount of bereavement training and 92% of them said childhood grief was a serious problem that deserved more attention from schools. Participating in the Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative helps your school personnel to address this training gap and signals to students, parents, and community members alike that your school is strongly committed to supporting its grieving students and their families.

We recognize that schools have a critical role to play in delivering support to their grieving students. To be part of this initiative, we ask that you pledge to foster a more supportive environment for those who are grieving in your school community by:

Increasing awareness of the issue of grief at school

Sharing information with your school community about GrievingStudents.org

Reviewing relevant school policies and procedures

Providing specific professional learning opportunities

Additionally, the Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative offers presentations to school staff on key bereavement resources, led by New York Life ambassadors (a minimum of 5 school personnel must attend); schools that commit to become more grief-sensitive following the presentation are also eligible to receive a $500 grant to help enhance their ability to offer grief support and resources.

If you are interested in receiving an in-person Grief-Sensitive Schools presentation and grant from New York Life, please click the button below. If an ambassador is available in your area, New York Life will follow up with you to schedule a presentation.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
New York Life's Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative - Coalition to Support Grieving Students

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative (GSSI) seeks to better equip teachers to care for grieving students by introducing GrievingStudents.org and other valuable grief resources to local schools. For questions regarding the program, contact nylfoundation@newyorklife.com. A Grief-Sensitive School is an accredited K-12 public or private institution that commits to help provide a supportive environment for students who have experienced the death of a loved one.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
About Us

The Coalition to Support Grieving Students is a unique collaboration of the leading professional organizations representing classroom teachers (including teachers, paraprofessionals, and other instructional staff), principals, assistant principals, superintendents, school board members, and central office staff, student support personnel (including school counselors, school nurses, school psychologists, school social workers, and other student support personnel), and other school professionals who have come together with a common conviction: grieving students need the support and care of the school community.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Home Page - Coalition to Support Grieving Students

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The Coalition to Support Grieving Students is a unique collaboration of the leading professional organizations representing classroom teachers (including teachers, paraprofessionals, and other instructional staff), principals, assistant principals, superintendents, school board members, and central office staff, student support personnel (including school counselors, school nurses, school psychologists, school social workers, and other student support personnel), and other school professionals who have come together with a common conviction: grieving students need the support and care of the school community.

# data[].attributes.headline
National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement

# data[].attributes.subject
National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.provider_name
National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The Coalition to Support
Grieving Students

We lead a collaboration of national
organizations, representing the full range of
school professionals, that has developed
free training materials to help empower
schools to support grieving students.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The NCSCB is dedicated to helping schools support their students through crisis and loss.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Grief Education & Training

Dougy Center offers professionals training, online courses, and workshops on helping children, teens, and families who are grieving in hospitals, schools, hospices, youth service organizations, and mental health agencies.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Grief Support for Teachers & Staff | Dougy Center

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Grief can reach the classroom. Teachers and staff can learn how to support a student or colleague who is grieving during or after school.

# data[].attributes.headline
Providing Remote Grief Support to Students and School Communities

# data[].attributes.subject
Providing Remote Grief Support to Students and School Communities

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
It feels eerie to walk by the back-to-school section at my local Target. Usually, these aisles would be jam-packed with parents and kids clutching supply lists, rummaging through composition notebooks, and searching for the ever-elusive erasable pen.

With schools in our state only recently deciding to go remote for the fall semester, right now this corner of the store feels like a ghost town. I can't help but feel sorry for the pencil cases and puppy pocket folders that will never fulfill their destiny.

Any normal year, I'd be cursing the back-to-school section and the inevitable summer's end that it represents. But this year, I mourn for it as a reminder that people everywhere are experiencing exponential amounts of loss.

We can't send our kids back to school because people are sick and dying. But this means students who are already impacted by loss are facing the worst with limited access to support and resources.

I sincerely appreciate how hard teachers, school administrators, counselors, and other support staff have worked to bridge this gap. No one can't prevent our children from experiencing loss, but these supportive adults can help to soften its impact.

A grieving student body

It stands to reason, a higher number of children will be carrying the burden of loss when they return to school this year, whether they are grieving the death of a loved one, or a non-death loss. While at the same time, there are new and significant barriers to receiving the types of support teachers, parents, counselors, and community members are accustomed to providing.

What students in any particular community need in terms of grief support depends on a number of factors. A good place to start, is considering just how have they been impacted by loss? For example, has there been...

...a loss within the school community?

...a few children in the community who have experienced personal losses?

...many children in the community have experienced personal losses?

In general, what we can say is that many grieving families are facing some of the following challenges:

And these challenges create the need for things like:

normalization

validation

psycho-education

resources parents and children can utilize safely and, in many circumstances, remotely

I'm a school counselor or teacher, how do I provide remote grief support to my students?

We can't tell you is exactly how to provide grief support to those you serve. The approach you take will depend on things like school culture, access to resources, and staffing.

That said, I'm sure by now you're used to finding creative and flexible solutions and we're confident in your ability to make a grief support plan that works for your students and school community. One way we can help is by highlighting some resources we think are useful to grieving children.

Whether you are planning to provide grief support in-person, online, or a hybrid of both, we hope the following resources may be helpful as you move forward.

Things to know about grief

Two very important concepts

Childhood bereavement toolkits and dedicated websites

Resources for bereaved children, teens, and parents

The Golden Sweater: Free PDF download of the book, The Golden Sweater. The Golden Sweater is a book published by the National Alliance for Grieving Children, and it tells the story of a little boy named Kai who learns how to navigate a loss in his family.

Teenage Grief Sucks: A website written by grieving teens. Teens can read stories written from the perspective of their grieving peers. They can share their own stories as well.

Sesame Street in Communities: Helping Kids Grieve: It's Sesame Street excellence - need I say more?

Slapd: Online community and website supporting teens who've lost a parent.

Grief activity videos

Articles for supporting grieving children
Articles by What's Your Grief
Sign up for updates on our upcoming virtual 3-hour CE event, Supporting Grieving Children

In September, we will be offering a 3 hour CE training on supporting grieving children, with a special emphasis on providing remote grief support. Also, we'll provide information on any related webinars, courses, and online events.

We post a new article to What's Your Grief about once a week. Subscribe to stay up to date on all our posts.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Providing Remote Grief Support to Students and School Communities

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
It feels eerie to walk by the back-to-school section at my local Target. Usually, these aisles would be jam-packed with parents and kids clutching supply lists, rummaging through composition notebooks, and searching for the ever-elusive erasable pen.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
When experiencing loss, it's common for children to become preoccupied with feelings related to grief: apprehension, inability to focus, overstimulation.

But for children who are diagnosed with ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, the manifestations of grief can exacerbate ongoing struggles to focus and manage stress.

"Their minds are occupied with adapting to all the changes that loss creates," said Helen Harris, EdD, MSW, faculty member at Baylor University's Diana R. Garland School of Social Work.

While traditional bereavement groups can provide stability, Harris said they are often designed for families grieving a death. But children with ADHD experience many other forms of loss and sometimes need interventions tailored to their specific needs.

How Does Ambiguous Loss Affect Children?

Dr. Pauline Boss, an educator and researcher with expertise in family stress, defines ambiguous loss in two main categories:

When a person is physically present but psychologically absent.

When a person is physically absent but psychologically present.

While the death of a family member is an obvious source of grief, ongoing or disruptive sources of grief can come from less distinct sources, such as:

Divorced parents

Deployed parents

Abuse by parents or guardians

Placement in foster care

Loss of a family pet

Domestic violence or assault

Separation from siblings or other family members

Substance misuse of caregivers

Mental illness of caregivers

How Does Grief Affect Children Diagnosed with ADHD?

With an existing ADHD diagnosis, some children may experience compounded challenges when the symptoms of grief and ADHD overlap. Signs that children are not coping well with grief may be masked by tendencies of children with ADHD to hide their feelings.

Overlapping Symptoms of ADHD and Grief

Trouble focusing and low attention spans

Constant need to move body

Distancing from peers or interests

Poor school performance and difficulty learning new material

Impulsivity

Trouble eating or sleeping

Some children who exhibit these symptoms may be misdiagnosed with ADHD if caretakers jump too quickly to conclusions. Conversely, children with ADHD may see their symptoms worsen.

"We need to have empathy for the fact that ADHD may cover over what's going on for a child in their grieving process," said David Anderson, PhD, clinical psychologist and senior director of national programs and outreach at the Child Mind Institute. "They may in fact have deeper emotions."

Anderson explained that frontline intervention involves training adults to look for signs and help children by meeting them where they are.

"Adults have to realize that even though they aren't the cause of the problem, they are a part of the solution," he said.

For younger children, interventions may consist of training caregivers to facilitate and manage positive behaviors. When children age, it becomes more common to consider medication, he explained. As for teenagers, cognitive behavioral interventions can help young people manage their symptoms while gaining independence.

Harris cautioned caregivers from making preliminary diagnoses before consulting a clinician. Assuming that a child is depressed or that medication is necessary can lead to ineffective or inappropriate treatment plans.

"We do our best treatment and intervention when we're intervening for the right thing," Harris said.

Strategies for Interventions

Experts at the American Academy of Pediatrics caution adults to be mindful that the home environment can lend itself to more stress or exacerbate symptoms. Identifying sources of stress within the home can help caretakers more effectively intervene.

Modeling Healthy Coping Mechanisms for Children with ADHDModeling Healthy Coping Mechanisms for Children with ADHDModeling Healthy Coping Mechanisms for Children with ADHD

In most cases, children with loss initially experience shock and denial. They may protest, rail against it, get angry, strike out, and break things.

"Our cultural response is to tell children to stop behaving badly," Harris said.

It's easy to punish misbehavior and expect that kids will learn from repeated consequences. But adults must understand that kids' feelings and behaviors are connected, she said.

Caretakers can't expect the drivers of behavior will just go away with time nor that medication will eliminate the tendencies for unhealthy coping. Harris pointed out children often learn behaviors by mimicking the actions of people they look up to; adults can be pivotal role models in displaying responses to grief in constructive and positive ways.

How to Model Healthy Expressions of Grief

Be honest about negative feelings but not destructive.

Acknowledge that pain exists.

Have a conversation and take ownership of your feelings.

Manage your own behavior and emotions.

Avoid overwhelming or scaring children.

Use language to empathize with kids.

Examples of things to say:

Adults should also consider the compounded effects of grieving during the holidays or family gatherings and make time to address loss in a safe space.

The Role of Social Workers in Connecting Children with Care

Even after a child leaves the presence of a caregiver, they still may struggle with navigating grief. That's why it's important to think holistically about the continuum of care - the concept that healing and treatment can be a part of every environment or social group in a person's life.
"A social worker's role is to communicate hope, caring, community, and support."
Social workers can be a valuable source of support during challenging times. Children who have lost adult role models may need a companion who can be empathetic to their situation.

"A social worker's role is to communicate hope, caring, community, and support," Harris said.

Anyone can be part of the continuum of care, but Harris said it's important for social workers to identify a caregiver who will be a constant and stable part of the child's life.

In addition to finding and training stable caregivers for children in need of support, social workers can help children build resilience and navigate their emotions. These practices can help children through adolescence and young adulthood.

"Be a fellow traveler - someone who can accompany [them] on [their] journey," Harris said.

For more information about grief and ADHD interventions, consider the following resources:
Citation for this content: Baylor University's online master's in social work program.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Grief Interventions for Children with ADHD

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
When experiencing loss, it's common for children to become preoccupied with feelings related to grief: apprehension, inability to focus, overstimulation. But for children who are diagnosed with ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, the manifestations of grief can exacerbate ongoing struggles to focus and manage stress.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
This collection of Tip Sheets and written materials are geared toward the school setting, but can also be helpful for community organizations and families. Our entire collection of Tip Sheets is available on The Dougy Center's website.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Grief | United States | The Dougy Center School & Community Toolkit

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
This collection of Tip Sheets and written materials are geared toward the school setting, but can also be helpful for community organizations and families. Our entire collection of Tip Sheets is available on The Dougy Center's website.

# data[].attributes.body
https://grievingstudents.org/grief-sensitive-schools-initiative-faq/

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative: Frequently Asked Questions - Coalition to Support Grieving Students

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Q: If a school has an elementary, middle and high school in one location, how many $500 grants are they eligible for? A: If they are separate

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative (GSSI) seeks to better equip teachers to care for grieving students by introducing GrievingStudents.org and other valuable grief resources to local schools.
For questions regarding the program, contact nylfoundation@newyorklife.com.
A Grief-Sensitive School is an accredited K-12 public or private institution that commits to help provide a supportive environment for students who have experienced the death of a loved one.

When it comes to grief support at school, many teachers feel under-prepared to help: a recent study revealed that only 7% of classroom teachers have received any amount of bereavement training and 92% of them said childhood grief was a serious problem that deserved more attention from schools. Participating in the Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative helps your school personnel to address this training gap and signals to students, parents, and community members alike that your school is strongly committed to supporting its grieving students and their families.

We recognize that schools have a critical role to play in delivering support to their grieving students. To be part of this initiative, we ask that you pledge to foster a more supportive environment for those who are grieving in your school community by:

Increasing awareness of the issue of grief at school

Sharing information with your school community about GrievingStudents.org

Reviewing relevant school policies and procedures

Providing specific professional learning opportunities

Additionally, the Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative offers presentations to school staff on key bereavement resources, led by New York Life ambassadors (a minimum of 5 school personnel must attend); schools that commit to become more grief-sensitive following the presentation are also eligible to receive a $500 grant to help enhance their ability to offer grief support and resources.

If you are interested in receiving an in-person Grief-Sensitive Schools presentation and grant from New York Life, please click the button below. If an ambassador is available in your area, New York Life will follow up with you to schedule a presentation.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
New York Life's Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative - Coalition to Support Grieving Students

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The Grief-Sensitive Schools Initiative (GSSI) seeks to better equip teachers to care for grieving students by introducing GrievingStudents.org and other valuable grief resources to local schools. For questions regarding the program, contact nylfoundation@newyorklife.com. A Grief-Sensitive School is an accredited K-12 public or private institution that commits to help provide a supportive environment for students who have experienced the death of a loved one.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
When children and teens at The Dougy Center are asked, "What's something you wish people would stop saying?", they break out in a chorus of "I'm sorry!" What do you say when you find out someone died? What words do you write in a sympathy card or email? It's a universal struggle to know what to say in an inherently emotional and potentially uncomfortable situation. Grieving people, especially children and teens, are extremely tuned into other people's discomfort. Friends, teachers, and colleagues often don't know what to say or how to react when it comes out in conversation that someone's parent, sibling, friend, or other family member died. This can lead many people, including children and teens, to avoid any topic that connects to their loss. Everyday questions such as: How come your grandparents always pick you up after school? How old is your mother? How many siblings do you have? can leave grievers feeling confused about what to say and worried that answering honestly will make other people uncomfortable. Grieving people brace for the automatic, "I'm sorry," that often follows when they disclose that someone in their life died.
When asked why they don't like that response, children and teens had this to say:

"How am I supposed to respond? It's okay? I mean, really, it's not okay."

"Um, it's not their fault, why are they apologizing?"

"It's just so awkward. It's like a total conversation stopper."

"So many people say it, even people I've never talked to before, it feels kind of fake."

"I know they mean well, but it just gets old."

Does this mean definitively that you should never say, "I'm sorry" to someone who is grieving? No, it's just helpful to consider the relationship you have with the person and the context of the conversation when choosing what to say. Ask yourself the question, "Is what I'm about to say going to connect or disconnect the conversation?" Sometimes "I'm sorry," can act as an interruption. This may happen when a person shares about a death as part of a bigger story they are telling. When "I'm sorry," is interjected, it can stop the flow of conversation, and leave the teller with the awkward task of saying something like "It's okay, it was a long time ago." On the other hand, if a friend calls to tell you that someone died, that's a time when an authentic, heartfelt, "I'm sorry" can serve as a connection. Even in that situation though, keep in mind that the person on the other end of the line has likely heard those words many times over, so it can be good to try and think of something different to say. A few possibilities include: "I'm so sad to hear this," "I'm so sorry you have to go through this," and "How heartbreaking." Another option is just to repeat back what the person tells you, "Your dad died last night." This gives them the opportunity to say more and direct the conversation.

When it comes to children and teens, one of the only alternatives they've offered is, "That totally sucks." Of course, if that's language you're not comfortable with, you might come up with something else that acknowledges the reality of the loss without verging into what the teens call, "sympathy overload." Many teens appreciate when people can remain matter of fact when talking about the death. They can grow very uncomfortable if they sense people feel sorry for them.

In the end, there's no perfect thing to say or not say. Just keep in mind that grieving people are navigating conversations, big and small, throughout the day that have the potential to highlight their loss. Conveying a sense of calm and ease when someone does tell you about a death goes a long way to dismantle the awkwardness and discomfort they are used to encountering. From that foundation, you can choose which words to say, based on your connection with that person and the context of the conversation. Try writing down a few alternative phrases that work for you. This will make it easier to access them the next time you want to communicate that you care to someone who is grieving.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families | Portland, OR

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
When children and teens at The Dougy Center are asked, "What's something you wish people would stop saying?", they break out in a chorus of "I'm sorry!" What do you say when you find out someone died? What words do you write in a sympathy card or email?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The problem with platitudes is there's always this ghost sentence. This second half of the sentence that we don't say out loud but is very, very clearly implied to the grieving person.

So, if you're grieving and I come to you and I say "At least you had them as long as you did," the second half of the sentence there is "... so don't be so sad."

"They would want you to be happy ... so stop feeling so sad."

The grieving person can hear the second half of the sentence even if you don't say it out loud. So a really cool and slightly uncomfortable exercise to do for yourself if you're thinking about things I might say to a grieving friend or family member, if you can add "so don't feel so bad" at the end of what you're thinking of saying, don't say it.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Speaking Grief | Supporting Grief: What NOT to say

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The problem with platitudes is there's always this ghost sentence. This second half of the sentence that we don't say out loud but is very, very clearly implied to the grieving person. So, if you're grieving and I come to you and I say "At least you had them as long as you did," the second half of the sentence there is "...

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Suicide is a public health issue. Media and online coverage of suicide should be informed by using best practices. Some suicide deaths may be newsworthy. However, the way media cover suicide can influence behavior negatively by contributing to contagion or positively by encouraging help-seeking.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Suicide is a public health issue. Media and online coverage of suicide should be informed by using best practices. Some suicide deaths may be newsworthy. However, the way media cover suicide can influence behavior negatively by contributing to contagion or positively by encouraging help-seeking.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The ultimate goal in discussing death with a dying child is to optimize his or her comfort and alleviate any fears. If the child is not ready to discuss death, the most helpful step parents can take is to wait until he or she is ready.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Everywhere I turn people are talking about grief, all types of grief. Mostly they are trying to make sense of this complicated world we're in, which I totally understand. I am someone who writes about grief. I'm also a mental health professional. I'm also a human being who has lost two good friends and a family member in the last three months.

In reading all these articles, I am some strange combination of heartened and annoyed. Weird, I know. On the one hand, I am so glad to see it acknowledged, to see support for all the loss in the world right now. And on the other hand, I am annoyed by the messaging I keep seeing which implies there are simple labels, easy answers, or quick fixes. Spoiler alert: there aren't.

One of the confusing things right now is that we talk about this "current crisis" as though it is just one thing. We are all getting a lot of messages trying to label what we're going through. This is ambiguous grief. What you're feeling is anticipatory grief. This is existential anxiety. And on and on. But the reality is that this crisis is many things, impacting many areas of life and creating many losses.

Each of us is having an individual experience. We are having different losses within this crisis. Our circumstances are wildly varied. We are all coping in different ways. What we are coping with in the world at the moment isn't any one thing. So today we just want to quickly explain a bunch of things. Not to overwhelm you (we hope), but because we want to make sure you know there is a lot to what people are feeling and experiencing right now.

Some things you read about, here or elsewhere, might be relevant to you. Some might not be relevant to you, but you might be seeing them in the world around you. It's a lot, and it's normal.

7 Types of Grief and Loss to Know Right Now

We talk about types of grief all over this website, but we know at this moment you might not be interested in reading through full posts on different types of loss to sort out what you're going through. So we've created some cliff notes of those we think might be the most relevant.

Non-Death Loss

A person can grieve the loss of anything significant to their physical, psychological, spiritual, and interpersonal lives. Throughout a person's life, they will experience many non-death losses. Some will feel minor and manageable-while other losses feel devastating and life-altering.

Many types of losses are capable of causing complicated emotions, difficulties in daily functioning, and impairment in one's ability to move forward. These losses are often significant enough to require a decent amount of processing and, like after a death, grievers often view their lives in terms of "before" and "after" the loss. You can read our full post about non-death grief this here. Or if you prefer to listen, you can check out our podcast episode on non-death losses.

Secondary Losses

When it comes to grief, it is easy to focus on the one, big, central, or "primary" loss that someone is experiencing. But the reason grief can feel like it upends every area of life is that a primary loss can kick off a string of secondary losses. After experiencing a devastating loss, grieving people are often surprised to find there is a ripple effect of subsequent losses.

The primary loss causes such significant shifts and fractures that there is a domino effect of losses related to things like finances, friends, community, worldview, faith, sense-of-self, and the list goes on. There is a lot to be said about this topic, so read our full post on secondary loss here. Or, if you prefer to listen, our podcast episode on secondary loss is right here.

Ambiguous Loss

This feels like a tough one to sum up in a sound bite here, because there is so much to ambiguous loss. Pauline Boss has been bringing us amazing research on this for over forty years. Ambiguous loss happens when you're grieving someone who is still living. It's different than the grief you experience when someone you love dies. That kind of loss is finite and certain, and there's no question you should feel pain. Ambiguous loss happens when something or someone profoundly changes or disappears. A person feels torn between hope things will return to normal and the looming sense that life as they knew it is fading away like a Polaroid developing in reverse.

One type of loss is when we grieve someone who is still physically present in our lives but who is "psychologically absent" (because of something like dementia, substance use, or a traumatic brain injury). The other is the type we are seeing more of right now, grieving someone who we can't physically be with. We have a whole post on the former type of ambiguous loss here, and a post on the latter type of ambiguous loss here.

Cumulative Loss

You can probably take a guess at what this is. Cumulative loss refers to the experience of suffering a new loss before you have the chance to grieve a first loss. It comes up when we suffer multiple losses in quick succession. It's important to note, grieving the death of a loved one is never really "done". It's common for new losses to bring up memories and emotions about past losses. So some amount of cumulative grief is almost always a given. When we become overwhelmed by anything our mind kicks into an incredibly powerful defense mechanism, which is avoidance.

Though avoidance may seem like a really bad thing (and it can be), it can be our body's way of keeping us functioning in the short term. When we are overloaded with multiple losses, this avoidance allows us to maintain our day to day activities, which in many cases is adaptive. What becomes important when losses have become cumulative is an awareness that we may need to make a concerted effort to begin the work of facing the reality of the loss, as this avoidance can't continue indefinitely. If you're coping with cumulative grief, you can check out our full post here.

NonFinite Loss

From childhood, people form ideas about how they think and hope their lives will turn out. People imagine, make choices, and work towards the future they think they want and, in some cases, need. But many things are out of one's control, When someone doesn't have the child, partner, job, or life they want, they may experience nonfinite grief. Nonfinite grief is something a person may carry with them for a long time. It continues as they struggle with the push and pull of trying to achieve their hopes and dreams but continually finding that life falls short of their expectations.

Any time our life doesn't match up with our expectations or schema, we are at risk of non-finite grief. If the world is bringing up a lot of dissonance between what you thought things would look like and what they do look like at the moment, this might be the word to describe what you're coping with!

Anticipatory Grief

If there is one type of grief that people are familiar with beyond regular-old-grief, it is often anticipatory grief. Anticipatory grief is grief that occurs before a potential loss. Any time circumstances lead a person to think that death is a real possibility, they may start to grieve aspects of the loss. Anticipatory grief doesn't mean that a person will grieve any less. It just may mean they process elements of the loss more slowly and overtime. Anticipatory grief brings up a lot of complicated emotions, so please check out our full post on anticipatory grief here.

Disenfranchised Grief

Disenfranchised grief is when a person feels denied the right to grieve by family, friends, community members, or society on the whole. When a loss is disenfranchised, it means the grieving person isn't getting the support or validation they need. This means different things to different people. Where one person only needs validation from themselves, another person may feel they need the acknowledgment of their entire family, community, or society.

Regardless, the impact of disenfranchised grief is that the person experiencing it feels alienated, invalidated, ashamed, weak, etc. There are so many, many things that can feel disenfranchised depending on your own experience and your own support system. If you're feeling this experience, check out our full post on disenfranchised grief here.

What about traumatic grief?

You may be wondering about traumatic grief. There is a lot to be said about that and we can't sum it up in just a couple sentences, so if this is on your mind just head on over to our full article on grief after a traumatic loss.

Want to hear us talk a bit more about all of these? We gotcha. Check out our podcast episode on this topic below.

Free online grief support course for grief during COVID
What do you think? Relate? Don't relate? Leave a comment! And as always, subscribe over in the sidebar to get our weekly update right to your email!

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
7 Types of Grief You Should Know Right Now - Whats your Grief

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Everywhere I turn people are talking about grief, all types of grief. Mostly they are trying to make sense of this complicated world we're in, which I totally understand. I am someone who writes about grief. I'm also a mental health professional.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
I spent a lot of time with my grandmother when I was growing up. When I was young, before I started school, my grandmother watched me while my parents worked. I have many fond memories of walking the alleys by her house to the playground, helping her stuff grape leaves and roll cookies, playing the piano, painting our nails together, watching All My Children, and eating her delicious lentil soup.

But let me back up a bit. Long long before that, when my mother was just a twinkle in her father's eye, my grandparents emigrated to the United States from Greece. They did what most good Greeks did: they opened a restaurant and they had children. But life did what life does sometimes - it took my grandfather way too soon, leaving my grandmother a widow with two elementary-school aged children. My grandmother ran the restaurant on her own, raising her two children in an apartment upstairs. A vision of the American Dream, she sent her children off to college, one to the Ivy League, and one at the top of her class through college and pharmacy school. In her retirement my grandmother moved to Baltimore. She stayed busy as a church volunteer and as a babysitter to her grandchildren. In her eighties she was still spending twelve hour days at the Greek Festival making loukoumades and selling pastries.

In her late eighties my grandmother had a stroke. The years that followed brought dementia that slowly took away the fiercely independent woman we knew. She was a version of my grandmother, a woman who was still kind, who still prayed, and who still loved having her nails painted. But this version of my grandmother spoke less and less, came in and out of awareness, had to be reminded who we were, and could no longer care for herself.

When my grandmother died just shy of her 95 th birthday in 2004 I am not sure I had ever heard the words 'anticipatory grief'. And yet I remember so well thinking that we had been saying goodbye over the past six years, as she had slowly slipped away. Though she had still been with us in body, we had been slowly mourning the loss of her personality, her independence, her memory, and her awareness for years. Remembering who she had been, it was like we had been watching her fade away.

Anticipatory Grief: the nitty gritty

Here is the thing about grief - though we think of it as something that happens after a death, it often begins long before death arrives. It can start as soon as we become aware that death is a likelihood. Once death is on the horizon, even just as a possibility, it is natural that we begin to grieve.

Though this is different than the grief that follows a death, anticipatory grief can carry many of the symptoms of regular grief - sadness, anger, isolation, forgetfulness, and depression. These complicated emotions are often coupled with the exhaustion that comes with being a caregiver or the stress of being left alone when someone goes to war or is battling addiction. We are aware of the looming death and accepting it will come, which can bring an overwhelming anxiety and dread. More than that, in advance of a death we grieve the loss of person's abilities and independence, their loss of cognition, a loss of hope, loss of future dreams, loss of stability and security, loss of their identity and our own, and countless other losses. This grief is not just about accepting the future death, but of the many losses already occurring as an illness progresses.

When we know a death is imminent our bodies are often in a state of hyper-alertness - we panic whenever the phone rings, an ambulance must be called, or when our loved one deteriorates. This can become mentally and physically exhausting. The same is true of watching a loved one suffer, which is almost always part of a prolonged illness. Caring for them as they suffer takes an emotional toll on us. These things (and others) can contribute to a sense of relief when the death eventually comes, and a guilt that can come with that relief. These feelings are common and totally normal when someone has experienced an anticipated death. And yet we feel guilty for this relief, thinking it diminishes our love for the person. It doesn't, of course, but this relief can be a confusing feeling. We sometimes need to consciously remind ourselves that the relief does not change the deep love we had for the person, rather it is a natural reaction to the illness.

There have been numerous studies showing that anticipatory grief can reduce the symptoms of grief after a death but, as always with grief, there are no rules. There will be times that anticipatory grief may reduce the intensity of grief following a loss, then there are many times that the grief following a death is not impacted at all. For a great review of the research on anticipatory grief (and understanding of why much of the data conflicts), see this article by Reynolds and Both a. What is important to keep in mind is that if you are grieving with less intensity or for shorter duration than other losses because of the anticipatory grief you experienced before the death, that is totally normal! On the flip side, if you do not feel your grief is diminished despite it being an anticipated death, that is totally normal too! Convenient, eh? There is no formula for how an anticipated loss will impact us because we all grieve differently.

Things to Remember When Dealing with Anticipatory Grief

Accept that anticipatory grief is normal. You are normal and feeling grief before a death is normal. You are allowed to feel this type of grief. Seriously. This is a common phenomenon that has been documented for nearly a century. You are not alone!

Acknowledge your losses. People may say annoying things like, "at least your mom is still here" that minimize what you are experiencing. Allow yourself to acknowledge that, though the person hasn't died, you are grieving. Consider journaling, art, photography, or other creative outlets to express the emotions around things like acceptance of the impending death, loss of hope, loss of the person you once knew, loss of the future you imagined, etc. Explore mindfulness (we have a post on that here) as a way of being present and aware of the many emotions your are coping with.

Connect with others. Anticipatory grief is common among caregivers, but unfortunately when all your time is consumed with caregiving you may feel totally alone and isolated. Seek out caregiver support groups, either in your area or online, so you can connect with others who understand the challenges you are facing, including anticipatory grief. There is an online anticipatory grief forum that is active here if you are looking for online support.

Remember that anticipatory grief doesn't mean you are giving up. As long as you are there for support, you are not giving up on a family member or friend. There comes a time where we often accept that an illness is terminal and that recovery is no longer a possibility. Though it is a reality, there can be a feeling of guilt that comes with that acceptance. Focus on what you are doing - still supporting, caring, loving, creating meaningful time together, etc. You are shifting your energy from hope for recovery to hope for meaningful, comfortable time together.

Reflect on the remaining time. Consider how you and your loved one will want to spend that time together. Though what we want may not always be possible, do your best to spend your remaining time together in a way you and your loved one find meaningful. If your loved one is open to it, you may want to discuss practical matters, like advance directives and funeral arrangements to ensure that you are able to honor their wishes (rather than being stuck having to guess what they would have wanted).

Communicate. Just like we all grieve differently, anticipatory grief is different for everyone. Expect that everyone in your family may be experiencing and coping with anticipatory grief in different ways. Keeping the lines of communication open can help everyone better understand one another. If you are planning for the remaining time to be meaningful and comfortable, make sure to include all the important family members and friends in those discussions.

Take care of yourself. I know, vague and way easier said than done!! But it is true. Check out our posts on self-care (for normal people), yoga, and meditation for some ideas of ways to take care of yourself. Remember the old cliché, you can't take care of others if you don't take care of yourself.

Take advantage of your support system. Caregiving and anticipatory grief can be a long road. Do an assessment of your support systems so you know which people may be able to help you out (and who you may want to avoid!). We have a great support system superlative journaling activity to help you out with your assessment here.

Say yes to counseling! I know, there are still some of you out there who may think counseling is just for wackadoos. I am here to tell you that is just not true! Counseling is helpful for normal, everyday people who just need a place to process complicated emotions and have some you-time. So just say yes to counseling if you are feeling overwhelmed with the feelings of anticipatory grief. You can check out our post on finding a counselor here.

Relief is normal. In the case of anticipated loses there can be months, years, and even decades of caregiving that can be overwhelming and exhausting (though adjectives don't even seem like enough!). When someone dies there can be a sense of relief that is completely normal, but that can also create feelings of guilt. Remember that feeling relief after an anticipated death does not mean you loved the person any less. It is a normal reaction after a stressful and overwhelming time in your life.

Don't assume. Just because your loss was an anticipated loss, do not assume this will either speed up or slow down your grief after the death. We have said it before and we will say it again: we all grieve differently.

Have you had experience with anticipatory grief? Leave a comment - we are all a little better when we can learn from one another.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Grieving Before A Death: Understanding Anticipatory Grief

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
I spent a lot of time with my grandmother when I was growing up. When I was young, before I started school, my grandmother watched me while my parents worked. I have many fond memories of walking the alleys by her house to the playground, helping her stuff [...]

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
This morning I entered the phrase 'Types of Grief' into Google and my search returned a surprising number of results. On the first page of results alone I found 10 different types of grief with 3 subheadings under 'Complicated Grief' and I thought to myself, "what the?!?" Who knew there were so many different classifications and titles?

I'm sure most people operate under the assumption that grief is just plain old grief! So with this in mind I have created a 'Types of Grief Glossary'. Kind of like a wiki but less comprehensive and slightly more random. It's just a reference tool so you can understand the different terms you may encounter as a griever.

You're welcome!

Normal Grief

Hahahahaha...oh wait, you're serious. Okay fine let's talk about 'Normal Grief' by first clarifying there is no 'typical' or 'average'. There are no timelines and grief experiences generally vary from one individual to another. 'Normal Grief' simply refers to a grief response that falls under an extremely broad umbrella of predictability.

Reactions to a loss can be physical and psychological. It is not uncommon to experience periods of intense distress and feeling such as (but not limited to) the following: longing, crying, dreaming of your loved one, anger, denial, sadness, despair, insomnia, fatigue, guilt, loss of interest, confusion and disorganization, disbelief, inability to concentrate, preoccupation with thoughts of your loved one, fleeting hallucinatory experiences, meaninglessness, withdrawl, avoidance, over-reacting, numbness, relief, sadness, yearning, fear, shame, loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness, emptiness, loss of appetite, weight gain. Right, I just listed every symptom to every disorder that's ever existed. I'm sorry but grief makes you crazy.

However, 'Normal Grief' is marked by movement towards acceptance of the loss and a gradual alleviation of the symptoms, as well as the ability to continue to engage in basic daily activities.

As its name suggests, 'Anticipatory Grief' is the reaction to a death you were able to anticipate such as when an individual dies from a long term illness. As soon as you accept and understand someone you love is going to die, you begin grieving.

Grief that occurs preceeding a loss can be confusing, as you may feel conflicted or guilty for experiencing grief reactions about someone who is still here. You may experience anger, loss of emotional control, and helplessness. You may also feel grief over the loss of things other than the individual, such as loss of hopes and dreams for the future and the loss associated with a changing roles and family structures.

'Anticipatory Grief' is different than the grief response felt after a death and does not necessarily make the later any easier. However, it can allow those who love the individual to slowly and gradually prepare for and absorb the reality of the loss. Also, for some but not all, it allows for meaningful time spent with the individual lending to a sense of closure and peace.

Complicated Grief

Refers to grief reactions and feelings of loss that are debilitating, long lasting, and/or impair your ability to engage in daily activities. Other types of grief such as 'Chronic Grief', 'Delayed Grief', and 'Distorted Grief' all fall under the blanket of 'Complicated Grief'.

Although the concept of 'Complicated Grief' is well known and generally accepted, it's not without its detractors. There are some who believe 'Complicated Grief' is simply the manifestation of grief reactions combined with other mental disorders such as Depression and Anxiety.

Chronic Grief

Strong grief reactions that do not subside and last over a long period of time. Continually experiencing extreme distress over the loss with no progress towards feeling better or improving functioning.

Delayed Grief

When grief symptoms and reactions aren't experienced until long after a persons death or a much later time than is typical. The griever, who consciously or subconsciously avoids the reality and pain of the loss, suppresses these reactions.

Distorted Grief

Extreme, intense, or atypical reactions to a loss - odd changes in behavior and self-destructive actions. Anger and hostility towards oneself or others are common.

When one experiences a second loss while still grieving a first loss. This is also referred to as "bereavement overload" or "grief overload".

Prolonged Grief

(Similar to 'Chronic Grief') Grief reactions that are prolonged and intense. The griever is incapacitated by grief and daily function is impaired on a long-term basis. The griever spends much time contemplating the death, longing for reunion, and is unable to adjust to life without the individual.

Exaggerated Grief

An overwhelming intensification of normal grief reactions that may worsen over time. Characterized by extreme and excessive grief reactions possibly to include nightmares, self-destructive behaviors, drug abuse, thoughts of suicide, abnormal fears, and the development or emergence of psychiatric disorders.

When a loss impacts many areas of one's life, creating multiple losses stemming from the "primary loss". Though it is easy to think our grief is solely the grief of losing the person who died, our grief is also the pain of the other losses caused as a result of this death.

Masked Grief

Grief reactions that impair normal functioning however the individual is unable to recognize these symptoms and behaviors are related to the loss. Symptoms are often masked as either physical symptoms or other maladaptive behaviors.

One's grief is 'disenfranchised' when their culture, society, or support group, make them feel their loss and/or grief is invalidated and insignificant. This can occur when the death is stigmatized (suicide, overdose, HIV/AIDS, drunk driving), the relationship is seen as insignificant (ex-spouse, co-worker, miscarriage, pet), the relationship is stigmatized by society (same-sex partner, gang member, partner from an extramarital affair), the loss is not a death (Dementia, Traumatic Brain Injury, Mental Illness, Substance Abuse).

Traumatic Grief

Normal grief responses experienced in combination with traumatic distress suffered as a result of a loved one dying in a way perceived to be frightening, horrifying, unexpected, violent and/or traumatic. Distress is extreme enough to impair daily functioning.

Collective Grief

Grief felt by a collective group such as a community, society, village, or nation as a result of an event such as a war, natural disaster, terrorist attack, death of a public figure, or any other event leading to mass casualties or national tragedy.

Ambiguous Loss: (See 'Disenfranchised Grief')

Losses that lack clarity and can lead to different views of who or what has been lost. Individuals and those around them may question whether a loss has occurred or if this is a loss that should validate deep emotional responses (such as with disenfranchised deaths).

Inhibited Grief

Occurs when an individual shows no outward signs of grief for an extended period of time. The individual inhibits their grief, eventually leading to physical manifestations and somatic complaints.

Abbreviated Grief

A short-lived grief response. The grieving process often seems shorter because the role of the deceased is immediately filled by someone/something else*, because there was little attachment to the deceased, and/or the individual is able to accept and integrate the loss quickly due to 'Anticipatory Grief'.

*So, I was surprised to find the most common explanation for abbreviated grief was due to "replacement of the deceased such as with a remarriage". What the what? I see what they are getting at and I suppose for a small faction of widows/widowers this could be true, but as a generalization this just seems ridiculous. Getting remarried after the death of a spouse is neither a 'replacement' nor the fast track to end your grief.

Absent Grief

This is when the bereaved shows absolutely no signs of grief and acts as though nothing has happened. Characterized by complete shock or denial, especially in the face of a sudden loss. This becomes concerning when it goes on for an extended period of time. This does not account for differences in how we grieve and it's important to note that just because you can't tell someone is grieving doesn't mean they aren't.
Did we miss a 'Type'? Leave us a comment.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Types of Grief: Yes, there's more than one

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
This morning I entered the phrase 'Types of Grief' into Google and my search returned a surprising number of results. On the first page of results alone I found 10 different types of grief with 3 subheadings under 'Complicated Grief' and I thought to myself, "what the?!?"

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
We all experience losses, big and little, throughout our lives. When enduring a big loss, people fall into patterns that may be considered masculine or feminine ways of reacting.

Men and women tend to process their losses differently, but the way they grieve is affected by many other factors besides gender, such as culture, personality, and temperament. Grief and loss are experienced in unique ways by each individual.

A generalization about gender differences in grieving would be that men tend to focus on feelings of guilt and anger. They are likely to spend more time thinking than feeling. They also tend to act independently rather than rely on others.

Women typically need more support and are expressive with their emotions, which is behavior we tend to associate with grief and loss. However, there is no cookie cutter approach to mourning. In recent years, experts like Kenneth Doka, PhD, have recategorized these types as intuitive and instrumental grief.

Intuitive grief can be associated with our generalizations of the way that women grieve, which includes the following:

Strong, affective reactions (waves of powerful emotions)

Expressions that mirror feelings (more like an open book)

Moving forward involves exploring and expressing feelings, progressing through the pain in order to heal.

Instrumental grief can be associated with the masculine way of grieving, which includes the following:

More thinking than feeling (an inward, quiet process, less expression of emotions)

Being physical, expressing grief through doing something (I could not fix my son, but
I can fix this broken fence)

So how do you help someone who doesn't want to talk or ask for help?

Use logical analysis-figuring out problems by breaking them down into manageable steps (to be less overwhelming)

Gather information-on new roles (in your household, family, work, etc), supports, faith, to do lists, etc., in order to start implementing

Use humor-It has much of the same release as crying does, and it's still okay to laugh

Provide diversions/distractions-list all supports and assign them to categories

Good doers (who could take care of the pet, get the paper, etc.)

Good listeners

Good respite (who could take a break from the grief and will not ask you about your loss)

Instrumental grievers would benefit more from groups that focus on a how-to (like being a single parent), adventure based, informal or educational, than a traditional support group.

Like any other model for grief, there are several tools you can use with variations for each person. There are always ways to help. You can start by figuring out which support is needed and offer it. And if you need help, ask for what you need. Just know that there is never a wrong way to grieve.

© Copyright 2012 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved.

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Two Styles of Grieving: Intuitive and Instrumental - GoodTherapy.org Therapy Blog

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
We all experience losses, big and little, throughout our lives. When enduring a big loss, people fall into patterns that may be considered masculine or feminine ways of reacting. Men and women tend to process their losses differently, but the way they grieve is affected by many other factors besides gender, such as culture, personality, and temperament.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
We are usually pretty hesitant to even hint at categorizing, labeling, or classifying grief. There are so many different grief responses that can and should be considered and no two people will have the exact same feelings and experiences after a death-not even those from the same family, region, religion, or culture. All that being said, there is merit in examining how those with similar traits typically view and interact with the world, as long as we do it with a grain of salt.

We don't always think of gender as complicated because we sometimes confuse it with 'sex', which refers to our biological makeup and determines what box we check at the DMV. Gender is not actually a matter of fact, as psychologist Dr. Stephanie Shields of Pennsylvania State University notes:

"...gender is something that one practices (in nearly every sense of the word), rather than only what one inflexibly is."

Societies, cultures, and even families have differing views on what it means to be prototypically male or female, and it is rare that real-life individuals ever fit perfectly into these molds.

Today, we want to start talking about grief and gender. However, our goal is to simply point out where similarities and differences might lie. In conceptualizing grief and gender, we want you to always remember these things exist on a continuum. Please keep in mind, we're not stating facts about men and women. There is no way we can tell you how your brother or mother or best friend will respond to grief solely based on gender.

Although men are often thought of as "less emotional," I think it's important to quickly discredit the notion that men don't feel the same intense grief emotions as women. Prominent grief researcher, Kenneth Doka, and his colleague, Terry Martin, have already served up a heaping bowlful of food for thought on this topic in their book Grieving Beyond Gender. In this book, they outline different grieving styles that they associate with being characteristically "masculine" or "feminine", although they note that these styles exist on a continuum and that gender is merely a contributing factor.

Intuitive Grief

In general, our culture has come to expect people to grieve in an emotional way, which is characteristically more female. It is easy to put things like tears and sadness into the context of grief and when we see them we say:
"Ah yes, this person is grieving appropriately."
Doka and Martin associate this type of grieving with the intuitive grieving style. Intuitive grief is experienced mainly in terms of feelings and emotions (e.g., "I felt sad" or "I felt angry") and the grief response is usually focused on exploring and expressing these emotions (e.g., "I cried all night" or "I got so mad I couldn't think").

Instrumental Grief

However, not everyone likes to get up close and personal with their feelings. So, although people may experience the same type of emotions, some people might feel and express them differently. Doka and Martin associate this type of grieving with the instrumental grieving style. Instrumental grief is experienced in more physical and cognitive ways (e.g., "I couldn't stop thinking about what happened" or "I felt like I couldn't breathe") and the grief response is expressed in physical, cognitive, or behavioral ways and looks more like 'doing' or 'taking action'.

Although instrumental grievers might not see a direct correlation between their feelings and their response, if asked what they "did" in response to their loss as opposed to what they "felt," they might say things like they spoke about the person a lot, created a lasting memorial, immediately found ways to further their loved one's legacy, or they got involved in charity or activism in their loved one's memory. This type of grief expression can be a bit more difficult for outsiders to discern. Others might worry the person isn't dealing with their emotions when, in reality, they are just dealing with them differently.

So what does this have to do with gender?

Doka and Martin are in no way saying that men grieve instrumentally and women grieve intuitively. Remember that continuum we mentioned? Well, these theorists say that most of us fall somewhere along the continuum between intuitive and instrumental grief. They call this a blended experience . People who fall on this continuum borrow coping tools from both ends of the spectrum.

Now, when it comes to gender, there are a lot of societal, cultural, and personal expectations telling us how we should feel and react: Men should be strong and stoic, while women should be emotional and sensitive. These assumptions are really unhelpful because a lot of the time they don't fit, yet we might feel ashamed, , or weak for not feeling or acting our part.

Dissonant Grief

According to Martin and Doka, dissonant grief emerges when the way someone's grief is naturally experienced and expressed clashes with what they think is expected and acceptable. Confusion, shame, and repression can emerge when someone who is typically "strong" or unemotional becomes overwhelmed by emotion, or when someone who expects to be flooded with feelings finds that they aren't.

Martin and Doka represent just one perspective on how gender-related characteristics can impact grief, but I think their theory encourages us to consider the complex ways in which gender can influence grief while being mindful that there is immense variability in what gender actually means on an individual level. It is important as people who are grieving or as friends, family, and support workers, to be open to a range of grief responses regardless of our expectations.
Subscribe to receive our posts straight to your email inbox.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
We are usually pretty hesitant to even hint at categorizing, labeling, or classifying grief. There are so many different grief responses that can and should be considered and no two people will have the exact same feelings and experiences after a death-not even those from the same family, region, religion, or culture.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The death of a loved one isn't just one single earth-shattering loss. In reality, it's a tremendous loss, followed by a lot of smaller losses in its aftermath.

This domino effect of subsequent losses is called 'secondary loss.' Way back in the early days of WYG, we wrote about these after-effects, and we explained it in the following way:

"Death does not just create a single hole in one's life. Instead, the loss can impact many areas of one's life, creating multiple losses from that "primary loss." Though it is easy to think that our grief is solely the grief of losing the person we cared for so deeply, our grief is also the pain of the other losses that were a result of the death. You will hear these losses referred to as "secondary losses," not in the sense that their impact is secondary, but rather that they are a secondary result of the primary loss."

A Surprising Kind of Loss

When you consider the impact of things like death and grief, the inevitability of subsequent loss seems obvious. Yet, grieving people are often caught off guard by these ongoing losses and the way they compound their grief.

This is why we strongly recommend grieving people take the time to assess their secondary losses. Sometimes, seeing all these losses written down can provide a visual for just how complex the experience of grief actually is. In a practical sense, this exercise also helps to conceptualize the things a person might need help coping with.

It's also important to note that secondary losses are seldom formally acknowledged by supportive friends, family, and community members. I've yet to see a sympathy card that reads, " I am so sorry to hear you've lost faith in your fundamental belief system." Or how about, " My most heartfelt sympathies regarding the loss of half your household income."

Okay, yes, I'm being ridiculous. Nine times out of ten, those cards would come off as horribly insensitive, but therein lies the problem. These losses are often so incredibly personal and sometimes private that it's difficult for people to give (and receive) support and acknowledgment for them.

Generally speaking, people will often see a grieving person as coping with that one, primary, loss. Even many of the predominant grief theories have been criticized for failing to recognize the impact of secondary loss:

"There has been a lack of recognition of the range of stressors, the multiplicity of losses, integral to the bereavement experience. Not only is there the loss of the person, but adjustments have to be made with respect to many aspects of life." (Stroebe & Schut, 1999)

Secondary losses confound an already overwhelming loss. These individual losses are unique and complicated in their own right. Add them together and they give intimidating new meaning to the saying, "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts." Below, we'd like to take a few minutes to discuss just how challenging some of these losses can be.

How Secondary Loss Relates to Other Types of Loss
When we talk about 'types of loss' or 'types of grief' I think it's important to note that certain experiences might actually constitute several different types of loss all at once. This is quite often true for secondary losses which, among other things, may also be considered disenfranchised and/or ambiguous.Secondary Loss as Disenfranchised Loss:
Grief theorist, Ken Doka, originally defined disenfranchised loss as, "Grief that persons experience when they incur a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, socially sanctioned or publicly mourned".

As we mentioned above, secondary losses are often very personal (for example, loss of faith or loss of self-worth). Experiences that are personal or private are seldom openly acknowledged, sometimes even by the person experiencing them.

Additionally, secondary losses are usually non-death losses, like losses related to financial stability, sense of self, sense of purpose, and support systems. Sadly, non-death losses often go unrecognized and unsupported. Friends, family, and even those experiencing non-death losses may be more likely to view these experiences as obstacles to overcome than things that need to be grieved.

When a loss is disenfranchised, it means the grieving person isn't getting the support or validation they need. This means different things to different people. Where one person only needs validation from themselves, another person may feel they need the acknowledgment of their entire family. Regardless, the impact of disenfranchised grief is that the person experiencing it feels alienated, invalidated, ashamed, weak, etc.

What helps? Well, as we suggested above, merely labeling and acknowledging the range of secondary losses you're experiencing can be a good start. It also helps to know that loss is loss - it doesn't matter how big or small - and you deserve to take time and space to grieve these things. Also, if you feel you're not getting what you need from your family and friends, you may want to try a support group or one-on-one counseling.
Secondary Loss as Ambiguous Loss:
Ambiguous loss occurs when someone feels uncertain about who or what has been lost or whether a loss as even occurred at all. Consider three basic scenarios (1) a person is physically present but psychologically absent (ex. dementia) (2) a person is physically absent but possibly still alive (ex. absentee parent) and (3) a person is physically present but some major element of their identity and/or the relationship with them has changed (ex. divorce).

In all these instances, something significant has changed and these changes usher in a sense of loss. However, a person might feel conflicted and confused about whether they should grieve these losses because the person is still alive and there is often hope that things will change and return to "normal". Some examples of secondary losses that could be considered ambiguous include:

Absent family and friends

Family and friends who are still present but treat you differently

Identity changes within yourself. Perhaps a changed sense of purpose, lack of faith, or adoption of a new belief system.

Identity changes in family members who are also grieving

The onset of physical or psychological disorders in yourself or family members triggered by the death and associated stressors

If it's discovered someone you know is responsible for your loved one's death

Learning a secret about your loved one after their death and questioning their identity

Some ambiguous loss experiences can be very difficult to cope with. We expand on coping with ambiguous loss, and experiencing it as a primary loss, in the following posts: Ambiguous Grief Part 1 and Ambiguous Grief Part 2
There's always more to be said, stay a part of the conversation by subscribing to WYG.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
A Deep Dive Into Secondary Loss - Whats your Grief

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The death of a loved one isn't just one single earth-shattering loss. In reality, it's a tremendous loss, followed by a lot of smaller losses in its aftermath. This domino effect of subsequent losses is called 'secondary loss.' Way way back in the early days of WYG, we wrote [...]

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Opción B: Afrontar la adversidad, desarrollar la resiliencia y alcanzar la felicidad / Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding ... Resilience, and Finding Joy (Spanish Edition)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Opción B: Afrontar la adversidad, desarrollar la resiliencia y alcanzar la felicidad / Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding ... Resilience, and Finding Joy (Spanish Edition) [Sandberg, Sheryl, Grant, Adam] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Opción B: Afrontar la adversidad, desarrollar la resiliencia y alcanzar la felicidad / Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding ...

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
¡Nada más aterrador que una tormenta nocturna! Liza y Jeremy corren al lado de su madre cuando un terrible trueno los despierta. Pero ella tiene palabras para tranquilizarlos: les explica que existe un hilo invisible hecho de amor que une a las personas que se quieren. Este hilo conecta a los hijos con sus padres, y también con sus mejores amigos. ¿Pero qué tan lejos puede llegar ese hilo? Mamá explica que irá hasta donde esté la persona amada. ¿Incluso hasta el espacio? Sí. Incluso hasta el espacio. Este libro clásico en el mundo anglosajón es una lección para toda la vida sobre lo que conecta a los hijos con los padres, un lazo que dura para siempre, desde los primeros pasos lejos del regazo materno hasta la vida adulta.

There's nothing scarier than a nightmare! Liza and Jeremy run to their mother's side when they have one. She has words to calm them down; she explains that there's an invisible thre

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
El hilo invisible (Álbumes) (Spanish Edition)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
El hilo invisible (Álbumes) (Spanish Edition) [Karst, Patrice, Lew-Vriethoff, Joanne] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. El hilo invisible (Álbumes) (Spanish Edition)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
If you are going to buy only one book on grief, this is the one to get. It will validate your grief experience, and you can share it with your children. You can leave it on the coffee table so others will pick it up, read it, and then better appreciate your grieving time. The tips section at the back of the book is rich with wisdom and concrete recommendations. Better than a casserole! * Affirms the bereaved * Educates the unbereaved * A building-block for children

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Sopa de Lagrimas: Una Receta Para Sanar Despues de una Perdida = Tear Soup (Spanish Edition)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
If you are going to buy only one book on grief, this is the one to get. It will validate your grief experience, and you can share it with your children. You can leave it on the coffee table so others will pick it up, read it, and then better appreciate your grieving time.

# data[].attributes.body
https://www.amazon.com/Cuando-alguien-muy-especial-muere/dp/1577491270

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
This book was designed to teach children death education, to recognize and express feelings of grief, encourage open communication, and help adults discover unhealthy misconceptions the child may have. The concepts needed to teach following objectives are included in the following text, but may be stressed further by additional reading suggested. This resource is also available in English.
BOOK INFORMATION
by Marge Eaton Heegaard

ISBN10: 1-57749-127-0
ISBN13: 978-1-57749-127-9

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Cuando alguien muy especial muere: Los niños pueden aprender a enfrentar la adversidad (When Someone Very Special Dies (Spanish))

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
This book was designed to teach children death education, to recognize and express feelings of grief, encourage open communication, and help adults discover unhealthy misconceptions the child may have. The concepts needed to teach following objectives are included in the following text, but may be stressed further by additional reading suggested.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
SPANISH DESCRIPTION

Es el Día de los Muertos y Nando y su Madre van a honrar a Tío Fernando. Nando, nombrado en honor de Tío Fernando, escucha a su Madre decirle que mas adelante en el cementerio se van a encontrarse con el espirito de Tío Fernando.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Spirit of Tío Fernando: A Day of the Dead Story/Una hisoria del Día de los Muertos (English and Spanish Edition)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The Spirit of Tío Fernando: A Day of the Dead Story/Una hisoria del Día de los Muertos (English and Spanish Edition) [Levy, Janice, Fuenmayor, Morella, Mlawer, Teresa] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Based on a true story, the book follows the struggles of the Chávez family after their father suddenly dies. Natalia, the oldest of three children, tells how her family learned to engage in life again during the years following her fathers death. Day by day along their grief journey, the family embraces lifes opportunities, celebrates special times together, and dreams of future endeavors. As Natalia s mother explains, this is the only way to heal a grieving heart. historia real
Intended for children aged 6-12, the books limited text, beautifully touching illustrations and helpful strategies, assist adults in talking to children about their loss.
En esta , la joven Natalia nos relata los años que siguieron a la trágica muerte de su padre y cómo su familia aprendió a retomar la vida diaria. Día tras día, a lo largo de su duelo, la familia tomó nuevas oportunidades que les presentaba la vida, celebran juntos momentos especiales y sueñan con proyectos futuros. Como explica la madre de Natalia, es la única forma de sanar un corazón en duelo. Esta es una historia de esperanza.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Not the End of the Chávez Family, A Family's Journey through Grief: No es el fin de la familia Chávez, El camino de una familia por el duelo (English and Spanish Edition)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Not the End of the Chávez Family, A Family's Journey through Grief: No es el fin de la familia Chávez, El camino de una familia por el duelo (English and Spanish Edition) [Mari Dombkowski, Lauren Terwilliger, Nazar Horokhivskyi, Nazar Horokhivskyi] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
If you are going to buy only one book on grief, this is the one to get. It will validate your grief experience, and you can share it with your children. You can leave it on the coffee table so others will pick it up, read it, and then better appreciate your grieving time. The tips section at the back of the book is rich with wisdom and concrete recommendations. Better than a casserole! * Affirms the bereaved * Educates the unbereaved * A building-block for children

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Sopa de Lagrimas: Una Receta Para Sanar Despues de una Perdida = Tear Soup (Spanish Edition)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
If you are going to buy only one book on grief, this is the one to get. It will validate your grief experience, and you can share it with your children. You can leave it on the coffee table so others will pick it up, read it, and then better appreciate your grieving time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
¡Nada más aterrador que una tormenta nocturna! Liza y Jeremy corren al lado de su madre cuando un terrible trueno los despierta. Pero ella tiene palabras para tranquilizarlos: les explica que existe un hilo invisible hecho de amor que une a las personas que se quieren. Este hilo conecta a los hijos con sus padres, y también con sus mejores amigos. ¿Pero qué tan lejos puede llegar ese hilo? Mamá explica que irá hasta donde esté la persona amada. ¿Incluso hasta el espacio? Sí. Incluso hasta el espacio. Este libro clásico en el mundo anglosajón es una lección para toda la vida sobre lo que conecta a los hijos con los padres, un lazo que dura para siempre, desde los primeros pasos lejos del regazo materno hasta la vida adulta.

There's nothing scarier than a nightmare! Liza and Jeremy run to their mother's side when they have one. She has words to calm them down; she explains that there's an invisible thre

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
El hilo invisible (Álbumes) (Spanish Edition)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
El hilo invisible (Álbumes) (Spanish Edition) [Karst, Patrice, Lew-Vriethoff, Joanne] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. El hilo invisible (Álbumes) (Spanish Edition)

# data[].attributes.headline
Children's Grief Awareness Day (3rd Thursday in November)

# data[].attributes.subject
Children's Grief Awareness Day (3rd Thursday in November)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Children’s Grief Awareness Day is designed to help us all become more aware of the needs of grieving children — and of the benefits they obtain through the support of others. Children’s Grief Awareness Day is an opportunity to make sure that grieving children receive the support they need.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Home

Explore Topics

Explore Topics

Click on a topic for tons of resources that help kids (and parents!) with what matters most in young lives: health and wellness, social-emotional skills, and school readiness. All are critical to children’s healthy development…and together they build the foundation for a happy, healthy life.

Difficult Times & Tough Talks

Coping With Incarceration

With adults’ love and support, kids can cope with the incarceration of a loved one.

Dealing With Divorce

Separation or divorce mean lots of changes, but love, comfort, and care can help children adjust and cope.

Displacement & Resettlement

Families resettling in the U.S. are coping with big changes and have already faced so many challenges. Here are resources to help them heal and thrive.

Family Caregiving

A parent’s injuries can affect routines and responsibilities, but family teamwork can help you face these changes and thrive during them.

Family Homelessness

Losing one’s home brings enormous challenges. And yet families are incredibly strong and determined to create a better future.

Foster Care

As an adult involved in foster care, you have an enormous job: building and rebuilding family structures and children’s sense of safety.

Handling Emergencies

Your family can prepare for emergencies together in easy ways.

Health Emergencies

A health emergency brings many changes and uncertainty for young children and families. But there are things we can do to face each day with optimism.

Helping Kids Grieve

Coping with the loss of a loved one brings enormous challenges. With love and support, children can start to heal.

Offering Comfort

Little ones need lots of help from caring adults to grow and thrive. Comforting, nurturing touch is actually necessary for healthy brain development!

Parental Addiction

Resources and support for families struggling with parental addiction.

Racial Justice

Here are resources to build resilience, empathy, curiosity, and thoughtfulness in young children as they prepare for the task of building a better world by standing up, standing tall, and standing together.

Resilience

Giving children tools to overcome both little and big challenges will help them to learn and grow.

Traumatic Experiences

Grown-ups hold the power to help lessen the effects of traumatic experiences.

Veterans & Changes

With open communication and a little creativity, you can make children the heroes of an exciting new adventure.

Violence

When children are exposed to traumatic events within their own neighborhoods, communities, or across the world, you can help them feel safer and more secure…and build hope for a more peaceful, kinder future.

Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds

Autism

Share the amazing by celebrating and supporting the uniqueness of every child, including those on the autism spectrum.

Caring & Sharing

It’s a big world—children need to learn how to build relationships with the people all around them.

Caring for Kids

Family, friends, and neighbors make up a circle of care and support, filling children’s days with learning and love.

Community Service

Games, activities, and videos to help you help children build strong communities—and a better world—together.

Eating Well

Fresh, healthy foods build strong bodies and minds.

Exploring Emotions

When you help children to understand and express their emotions, you help them grow and thrive.

Family Bonding

Families come in all shapes and sizes, and each is unique in its own way. But one thing all families have in common is love.

Handling Tantrums

Big emotions can be hard for little kids to handle. Tantrums are tough for kids and parents, but there are ways to help everyone cope with those difficult moments.

Learning Through Play

Play helps kids develop the skills needed for school and life.

Learning Through Routines

Everyday moments are learning moments!

Managing Asthma

You can help children with asthma by understanding what it is and how to be prepared.

Milestones

Your presence, love, and care helps support children’s healthy development each and every day.

Moving Our Bodies

Children naturally love to move, but it’s not always easy to direct that energy or to find places kids can move freely. Set the stage so you can have fun moving with them every day!

Staying Healthy

Healthy routines help the whole family thrive.

You Matter Most

You are the most important factor in your child’s growth and development.

ABC’s & 123’s

Building Language Skills

Talking thoughtfully with kids—and listening carefully to them—helps lay the foundation for school success!

Developing Math Skills

Math is all around us—and both kids and grown-ups use it every day.

Financial Education

Help kids understand money and learn to make good financial decisions.

Learning Through Art

Creating art gives children an opportunity to express themselves. Art can help bring science, math, and literacy concepts to life, and help kids develop important self-regulation skills.

Reading & Writing

Read books and share stories with children every day!

School Readiness

Use these resources to turn everyday moments into brain-building adventures.

Science

Kids learn science by exploring the world around them. That’s why everyday moments are perfect opportunities to build science skills.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Explore Topics - Sesame Street in Communities

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Your care and support can make a huge difference in the life of a young child. Sesame Street is here for you with activities and tips for the challenges and joys along the way.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
One out of every two marriages today ends in divorce and many divorcing families include children.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Marriage and divorce are both common experiences.

Healthy marriages are good for couples' mental and physical health. They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems.

Divorce may influence well-being, with many individuals experiencing depression, loneliness and isolation, self-esteem difficulties, or other psychological distress.

Adapted from the Encyclopedia of Psychology and APA Dictionary of Psychology

Research on marriage and divorce

Getting help

Related Reading

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Marriage and divorce are both common experiences. Healthy marriages are good for couples' mental and physical health. They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems. Divorce may influence well-being, with many individuals experiencing depression, loneliness and isolation, self-esteem difficulties, or other psychological distress.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Jenny Lisk is an award-winning author and widowed mom who is dedicated to helping widowed parents increase their family’s well-being. Her book, Future Widow, and her show, The Widowed Parent Podcast, bring much-needed resources to widowed parents, helping them feel less lost and alone.

# data[].attributes.headline
Grief Out Loud- A Podcast by Dougy Center

# data[].attributes.subject
Grief Out Loud- A Podcast by Dougy Center

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Grief Out Loud Podcast | Listen & Subscribe | Dougy Center

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Produced by Dougy Center, we open up the often avoided conversation of grief. Hear personal stories, get tips, and gain insights from bereavement professionals.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Those who follow us on or who pay extra close attention to our sidebar (over to the right, silly!) may already know about the What's Your Grief Podcast-otherwise known as ' gabbing about grief,' 'chatting about coping,' and ' gossiping with the grief gals.'

On WYG's second birthday, we told you that-among other things-our mission for the next two years is to ensure there's support for all types of grievers. We know the ways in which grievers learn and the things they find helpful differ across the board and, with a world of technology available, it no longer makes sense to limit grief support to talk therapy and the written word.

The What's Your Grief Podcast is our first effort in providing grievers with more diverse options for grief support. The podcast can be found through our page and through Apple Podcasts, , and . Of course you can listen to all our existing episodes below, but-if you're interested in keeping up with the What's Your Grief Podcast- we strongly encourage you subscribe on one of these platforms. We would be infinitely grateful to anyone who writes us a review or rates the podcast while there, because this will help us connect with grievers who are already looking for support through the podcast platform.

If you have questions about the podcast or any of its content, please feel free to comment below or on the episode's individual show notes page. You can also send us an email at whatsyourgrief@gmail.com.

Dating a Widower and Other Topics

Grief in Six Words and Other Topics

Loneliness in Grief and Other Topics

How Attitudes About Death Impact Grief

Understanding the Difference Between Support and Comfort

Parenting While Grieving

Dealing with Valentine's Day After a Death

Expanding Our Understanding of Grief

Thinking About New Year's Resolutions

Your Questions About Holiday Grief Answered

The Guilt of Feeling Better and Living Life After a Loss

The Continuum of Negative Coping

Going Back to School After a Death

Milestones and Weddings After a Death

Locating Grief Support Locally and Beyond

Maintaining Relationships After a Death

Guilt and Regret in Grief

Supporting a Grieving Teenager

Handling Your Loved One's Belongings

12 Ways Grief Makes You Feel Crazy

All About Grief Friends

Continuing Bonds with Deceased Loved Ones

Grief and Special Days

Getting Realistic About Gratitude

Understanding Secondary Loss

Using Your Support System Effectively

Mastering Grief Triggers

Understanding the Five Stages of Grief

Extroverts and Grief

Introverts and Grief

Identifying Your Coping Style

Surviving the Grief of an Overdose

A Grief-Movie Review: Wild

Misconceptions About Grief

SWhen Condolences Go Wrong: What Not to Say to a Griever

Grief and the Holidays
Subscribe.
We post a new article to What's Your Grief about once a week. Subscribe to stay up to date on all our posts.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
What's Your Grief Podcast - A Podcast about Life After Loss

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Our mission is to ensure there's support for all types of grievers. We know that not everyone wants to read about grief... so, enter our new grief podcast.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Below are interviews and webinars the Center have hosted with fellow grief and loss experts to support our families and the community. Each aims to highlight the diversity of how grief and loss can present in children and adults and how those supporting someone grieving can help. We will continue to update this page as new webinars happen, so please check back frequently for additional recordings.

Sign up for our newsletter or "like" us on Facebook to be notified of upcoming webinars.

"A Deeper Intercultural Exploration". This webinar will provide attendees with a deeper understanding of the impact on children and families that death or separation of family members has, and/or the collective loss experienced due to war and persecutions. Led by the Center's Intercultural Program Coordinator, Justine Mugabo and Intercultural Peer Support Training Specialist, Marie Sheffield, this webinar explores multi-systemic obstacles faced when seeking asylum in Maine, as well as culturally sensitive strategies to create a healing community.

"Foundations of Reflective Listening". Join Sara Asch, Bereavement Services Coordinator at the Center and Steve Hart, volunteer facilitator in a discussion on the foundations of reflective listening. We will delve into why it is at the core of the Center's peer support model and how it can be a useful tool when working with any form of loss, in many environments and relationships. Those new to reflective listening will gain a toolbox that will help ease conversations with those who are grieving, and all workshop attendees will gain understanding of the practical use of reflective listening, enriched by insights gained through its application at the Center for Grieving Children.

"Supporting Grieving Children at Home and School". The Center for Grieving Children invites parents and educators to join the Center's Assistant Director of Bereavement Services, Mary Bristol, LCSW and Bereavement Services Coordinator, Sara Asch, ET, MA in a discussion on how to support children at home and in school who are experiencing grief, trauma and difficult challenges. Information will be based on Mary and Sara's expertise, as well as the Center's 30+ years of supporting families and children who are experiencing life changing situations.

"Autism 101 and Grief". Join Lisa Morgan, M.Ed. CAS, in a discussion on autism and supporting autistic children and adults who are experiencing grief, trauma, and crisis situations. The Autism Crisis Support Toolkit Lisa has developed is included during this presentation.

"Children & Grief - Beyond the Basics". Center staff members Janice Zurlo, York County Coordinator, Jamie Schwellenbach, Tender Living Care Program Coordinator, and Marie Sheffield, Intercultural Peer Support Training Specialist provide a deeper understanding of the complexities of children's loss within the context of their environment, and the pandemic, and how to support them as they move through grief, loss, and change.

"Burying a Loved One During a Pandemic". Christine Rousselle, DC Correspondent at Catholic News Agency and Julie Ann Johnson, Funeral Director and General Manager at A.T. Hutchins join together for a conversation on the painful realities of planning a funeral and burying a loved one during the Covid-19 pandemic, as well as the loving support needed to begin the healing process.

Interview with Tory Riden from the Great Reboot with the Center's Executive Director, Anne Heros, discussing the work the Center has always done, and the shift made during these particularly stressful times of social distancing to keep serving grieving families and children; a time when the feeling of grief seems to freeze in place for those struggling. Our history is rich, as are the families and children we serve. However, one thing that always remains is our families and children are not alone on their journey to healing from grief. Please watch this comprehensive interview to learn more about the work we are committed to keep doing.

"Intercultural Perspectives". Led by Claudette Ndayininahaze, the Center's former Intercultural Program Manager and Marie Sheffield, Intercultural Peer Support Training Specialist, this webinar explores the needs of youth and families who have resettled locally from countries experiencing war, persecution and resettlement, and have experienced death of family members and the collective loss of their communities. This session shares culturally sensitive strategies to create a healing community for Intercultural youth and their families who have been disproportionately impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic, and foster the development of belonging and individual and community resiliency.

"Facing Stigma". Center consultant Christine Linnehan, LCPC, BC-DMT, FT presents Restorative Interventions for Fostering Resilience in Children, Teens, and Families after Suicide Loss or Overdose. This webinar focuses on a restorative, trauma and bereavement-informed approach designed to address the impact of stigma on the grieving process and the overall well-being of the bereaved after a suicide or overdose loss. Christine explores practical and creative strategies as well as mind/body practices that can help the bereaved cope with the interplay of trauma and grief reactions; counteract shame and secrecy; and envision a path toward resilience, hope, and posttraumatic growth.

"How to Navigate Stress in Isolation". Our sincere gratitude to former Board President and facilitator Patrick Veroneau, M.S. of Emery Leadership Group for leading this timely webinar on coping with stress and building resiliency during uncertain times.

"Growing Through Grief, Loss and Trauma: How Grieving Families and Children Can Find Healing, Hope, and Resiliency". Our sincere thanks to Lisa Athan, M.A., grief specialist and Founder and Executive Director of Grief Speaks for addressing the multiple layers of loss facing families quarantined at home in her Keynote Presentation for the Center's Spring Bereavement Conference.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Center For Grieving Children - Community Webinars

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Below are interviews and webinars the Center have hosted with fellow grief and loss experts to support our families and the community. Each aims to highlight the diversity of how grief and loss can present in children and adults and how those supporting someone grieving can help. We...

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
If you could draw a picture of your person who died, what would it look like? What do you miss about them? If you could talk to them, what would you say? What do you wish they knew about who you are now? Road to Resilience: Memories that Move Us Forward from StoryCorps, in partnership with the New York Life Foundation, leverages the power of stories and storytelling to help children cope with the death of a parent, sibling, or loved one.
Through this project, we partner with bereavement support organizations to provide opportunities for children and their families to preserve memories of their loved ones, share their grief journeys, or simply to record themselves as they are. Partnering organizations benefit from in-depth training from our team and special resources on how to adopt our interview model for the children they serve. We also provide tools, including adapted versions of our Great Questions lists, audio clips, and (coming in 2018) kid-friendly animations and discussion guides.

Featured Stories About Grief

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
If you could draw a picture of your person who died, what would it look like? What do you miss about them? If you could talk to them, what would you say? What do you wish they knew about who you are now?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Brené reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own emotions.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Truth Be Told, Tell the Truth: Talking to Children About Suicide and Violent Deaths

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
If you came here looking for a script for talking to your child about death and grief, I'm sorry, we can't give you one. Your child is an individual and your situation is unique, so what you say and do will depend on a number of different factors. But here's some good news:

(1) As a caring and loving parent, you likely already have the qualities necessary to navigate this situation

(2) Qualities like reliability, consistency, warmth, and openness are far more beneficial to the child's well-being than having the perfect words and right answers.

(3) We can't tell you exactly what to say, but we can offer you tips on talking to kids about death and grief.

As a general rule of thumb, what you discuss with the child will depend on the following three things:

How old they are

The child's age will have a large influence on how you communicate with the child. As children learn, grow, and mature, their capacity to understand will change and evolve. For instance, when speaking with small children you will want to stick with straightforward and simple answers, while when speaking with teens you may explore more complex and abstract concepts. We will address this a little further here, but we recommend reviewing this article, Childhood Grief: The influence of age on understanding, if you haven't already.

How close they were to the person who died

We'll define closeness in two ways (1) when the child was very close to the deceased such as with a parent, grandparent, or sibling or (2) when the memory of the deceased is a constant presence, even though the child may not have had a close relationship with the person. Examples of this second scenario include any close family member, like a grandparent, sibling, or parent, who died before the child was able to build a relationship with them.

If the person who died was not a close family member, friend or community member, you may find that having one or two conversations is all that is necessary. If the person who died was a close family member or friend or community member, then you should conceptualize your first conversation as the beginning of an ongoing dialogue, rather than as a single conversation.

Although initial conversations about the death may not be detailed, expect that as the child processes the loss, and as their capacity to question and understand matures, they may (1) want to know more about their loved one (2) want to know more about the circumstances of the death and (3) want to talk about their loved one as a way of maintaining their ongoing bond.

How curious they are

If the child has questions, it's a sign that they are curious, that they don't understand, or that they are seeking reassurance. Remember, grief is an ongoing process and that your child may continue to process the death long after your conversation with them has ended. Allow the child to ask questions within the context of your conversation(s) and make sure they know it's okay to ask questions later on if they come up. Don't be surprised if children ask the same questions over and over, they may want to clarify their understanding or they may want reassurance that the story hasn't changed. If you think it may be helpful, you and the child can also discuss other adults they feel comfortable going to with questions (such as an aunt or uncle, adult sibling, faith leader, etc).

Some specific tips for talking to kids about death and grief:

Tip #1: Assess Understanding

Assess your child's understanding of the topic at hand; either what specifically happened to their loved one and/or their understanding of concepts like death. Many children have no prior experience with death and they may have no idea, or odd ideas, about what happens when a person dies.

For example, a few years ago I asked my 4-year-old daughter, Virginia, what happens when you die.

Hmmmm...any other guesses?

Okay, so four-year-old Virginia seems to know that death has something to do with the body, but beyond that, her conception seems a mix of imagination and information she's picked up here-and-there (from watching CSI? I don't know).

Let's ask 7-year-old Virginia?

Seven-year-old Virginia has a more complex understanding of death. She has a vague idea of what happens, she understands death's permanence, she knows that people feel tough emotions after someone dies, and she has real-life reference points.

It's good to assess the child's understanding of what you plan to discuss with them because this will help you decide how to approach the subject. Now we're not saying you should give your child the third-degree, rather that it can be helpful to begin your conversation by asking them about the thoughts and ideas already swirling around in their heads.

Such a conversation can take many forms. Some examples include:

If your family has recently experienced the death of someone very important, you may start with a specific question like - "Do you know why mommy is sad today?"

If you think the child already has some idea of what has happened (because children are far more tuned in than you think) you might ask something like,"What do you know about what's been going on?" or "What do you think happened?"

If you're discussing the loss of someone they didn't know, you might show them a photograph and say something like, "Do you know who this is?" or "This is your brother, he died before you were born. Do you know what it means when someone dies?"

Tip #2: Be honest and straightforward

Parents want to protect their children from pain and harm, this goes without saying. But sometimes this instinct can lead caring adults astray. Being honest with children about something as frightening and upsetting as death may feel callous and damaging, but it's actually really important to be straightforward and truthful.

Put yourself in their shoes. If you are curious, worried, or scared about something unknown, are you able to take your mind off of it? How do you feel when you can tell someone is withholding something from you, being evasive, or outright refusing to answer your questions? Do you stop wondering? I expect your answer to these questions is - "No!" You'd either worry, wonder, ruminate, or draw your own (potentially incorrect) conclusions. Don't assume that when your child is put in this same position they won't do the same.

As an adult caregiver, children look to you to clarify their understanding of what's happened. Confusion and lack of information will only leave the child guessing. Although the simple truth may be heartbreaking, the fantasy of the unknown can be far more frightening to a child.

What you say will depend on your situation, but generally speaking try to match the child's developmental level. Don't feel as though you have to tell them everything all at once and don't give them more information than they can handle; hopefully, they will feel comfortable asking you questions now and in the future. With small children, phrases like the following may be appropriate.

"He is dead and will not be alive again." "Her body stopped working" "He isn't suffering and he can no longer feel anything"
"She took too much to a drug," in the instance of overdose. (For information on talking to a child about a drug-related death, read this article)

"Suicide is when someone makes their body stop working," in the instance of suicide. (For information on talking to a child about a suicide death, read this article)

After explaining new concepts or providing them new information, assess their understanding of what you've said to them and invite questions.

Tip # 3: Don't use euphemism!

People commonly use euphemism to replace words or phrases that make them uncomfortable. Many adults aren't comfortable talking about death, even amongst other adults. This is likely why there are approximately 200 euphemism related to concepts around death and dying. But up until a certain age, kids are very concrete in their thinking. Thanks to their literal nature, euphemisms like the following only cause more confusion:

"She's in a better place" = She went somewhere great

"She's left us" = She left/abandoned us and she may or may not return

"She's sleeping" = She's asleep and she will wake up.

"She went to sleep forever" = There's a chance that I could go to sleep and never wake up

1She passed away" = Not sure what that means

"She is resting in peace" = She's sleeping somewhere peacefully

I know you might feel tempted to use euphemism when explaining death to children, but don't. If you want to see some examples of how kids interpret euphemism, check out this article in which we actually asked children what some of the different death related euphemisms mean.

Tip #4: Validate their emotions

Remember that a wide range of emotions is normal in grief, so don't be surprised if the child seems to show little emotion or if they show an emotion like anger, worry, or fear. Normalize and validate their emotions, whatever they may be.

Tip #5: It's okay to share your own emotions

Generally speaking, being open about your own grief will provide your child with reassurances that he or she is not alone and that it is acceptable to feel all types of emotions in response to loss. Be willing to acknowledge your painful feelings and be open to discussing the hard parts. By maintaining an authentic, warm, and supportive dialogue, you are setting the stage to be able to discuss grief as it changes and shifts in the days, weeks, and years to come.

That said, as hard as initial conversations may be with your child, try to stay calm and in control. If you're worried about keeping collected, you may want to set aside some time before or after the conversation to process your own emotions. You may also want to consider having another trusted adult with you, either for moral support or to help you guide the conversation.

Tip #6: Don't judge

You don't need us to tell you this, but kids say the darnedest things. Sometimes the things they say will surprise you because their comments are astute and observant, cut right to the quick, or the words they choose are kind of silly. If a child says something that surprises you in the context of a conversation about death, try not to make them feel embarrassed, wrong, or ashamed.

Some examples of things that may take adults by surprise when speaking to a child about death include:

If the child has specific curiosities about the physical aspects of death

If the child seems like they don't care

If the child's response seems selfish or self-centered

If the child says something matter-of-fact or direct

If the child has existential questions or observations about the meaning of life and death

If the child makes angry, blaming statements

Remember, there's a wide range of normal responses and children will grieve little-by-little over time. Do your best to respond to their questions and comments in a calm, validating, and non-judgmental way.

Tip #7: Reassure, reassure, reassure

The death of a loved one is scary. Intense emotions are scary. Change is scary. As your child attempts to cope with everything that has happened, and as they attempt to make meaning of the death, they will likely benefit from a lot of reassurance. Hopefully, your child will make their worries known, but you may feel it's appropriate to reassure them about some of the following:

The death was not their fault: Grief has a funny way of making people, child and adult alike, feel guilty for all sorts of things. Some reasons why a child might feel responsible for their loved one's death include:

Magical thinking. This is when a child believes that their negative thoughts and wishes somehow contributed to their loved one's death.

If the person died from suicide, the child might have thoughts that if the person had loved them more they wouldn't have chosen to die, or if they had been a better child the person might have been happier.

If the child was in some way involved in the event that led to the death, they may feel responsible for the circumstances that led to the death or feel that they failed to respond in a way that prevented the death.

Make sure the child knows that the death was not their fault and that the death was not something they could have prevented.

The death was not their loved one's choice: Reassure the child that the death was not a deliberate choice and the person did not want to leave or abandon the child. In certain circumstances, like suicide, it may be helpful to discuss mental illness or to explain that " their brain wasn't working properly" and that this is why they killed themselves, not because they didn't love their family or because they didn't care about them.

They are safe and their family is safe: Make sure the child knows that they are safe and that they will not die. Make sure they also know that their family is safe and that their family members will not die anytime soon. I know we can't be sure of this, but reassure the child anyways (unless you have a compelling reason to believe this isn't true).

Sicknesses like the flu or a cold do not lead to death: If your loved one died of an illness like cancer, make sure the child knows that the type of illness their loved one had is different than the types of sicknesses they experience like the flu or the common cold.

They will be taken care of: Make sure the child knows that they will always be taken care of, no matter what happens. It may be helpful to brainstorm all the caring adults in their life who they can count on.

You will be honest with them and keep them informed: Death leads to change, it's often unavoidable. Reassure your child that you will get through things as a family, that you will make decisions as a family whenever possible, and that you will talk to them about changes before they happen.

Tip #8: Prepare them for customary rituals like funerals and memorial services

Talk to your child about funeral/memorial services before they attend them. There are three important things to cover in this conversation:

Include them in the planning to the extent possible. Ask them if there are things they would like to incorporate into the event or if there are special ways that they would like to honor their loved one.

Talk to them about what to expect before, during, and after the services, burial, etc. This may include discussions about things like the person's body, burial, cremation, what types of emotions they may witness, what types of emotions they expect to feel, etc.

Discuss their concerns and worries. Are there any parts of these rituals that worry them? Brainstorm ways for them to cope in the moment. For example, a small child might like to bring a favorite stuffed animal to hold or might want to choose a trusted adult to be their buddy for the day. Older kids might want help identifying a room or place where they can go to take a break if necessary.

Tip # 9: If you think it's necessary, help them to decide what they will say and/or share if people ask them about their loved one's death.

Help them to find their own language and way of responding to the sympathies and/or questions of others. Reassure them that it's okay to keep things private if they like

Tip # 10: Help them identify other support people who they feel comfortable talking with
Subscribe

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Talking to Kids About Death and Grief: 10 Comprehensive Tips - Whats your Grief

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
If you came here looking for a script for talking to your child about death and grief, I'm sorry, we can't give you one. Your child is an individual and your situation is unique, so what you say and do will depend on a number of different factors. [...]

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Resources

Home > Guide: After a Loved One Dies

After a Loved One Dies – Parent Booklet

This guide reviews how children grieve and how parents and other caring adults can help them better understand and adjust to a death. The information this guide provides can help parents and adults who are part of the lives of children who have experienced a loss know what to expect and how to help. Download the booklet in one of the available languages. PDF format.

Your support makes it possible for the NCSCB to develop resources and support schools through crisis nationwide. A donation made today will be matched by the New York Life Foundation!

GIVE TODAY

National Center for School Crisis
and Bereavement

1-877-53-NCSCB (1-877-536-2722)
info@schoolcrisiscenter.org

Children’s Hospital Los Angeles
Mailstop #53
4650 Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90027

Center Director:
David J Schonfeld, MD, FAAP

Our Major Sponsor:

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Guide: After a Loved One Dies | National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The NCSCB is dedicated to helping schools support their students through crisis and loss.

# data[].attributes.headline
Supporting Preschoolers Who Are Grieving

# data[].attributes.subject
Supporting Preschoolers Who Are Grieving

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Explaining death to a young child and supporting them in their grief can feel overwhelming and intimidating. The resources below, created for youngest grievers are free for all who need them - please use and share them freely.

These resources were made possible through a partnership between Dougy Center and KinderCare Education . The NACG is supporting this project in distributing to our community. We are grateful to these two partners for sharing the work for the benefit of all.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Explaining death to a young child and supporting them in their grief can feel overwhelming and intimidating. The resources below, created for youngest grievers are free for all who need them - please use and share them freely. These resources were made possible through a partnership between Dougy Center and KinderCare Education .

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
we're talking about teenage grief. read stories written by grieving teens and share your own.

read

articles

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Teenage Grief Sucks | Teens Talking About Grief

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Teenage Grief Sucks is a teen-run website that’s opening up conversations about grief. Read stories written by teens and share your own.