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Advice for Parenst and Young people with ADHD

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ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) can make it hard to concentrate. Find out about ADHD, what the signs are and where to get support.

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Were here to help the 700,000 autistic people in the UK and their families. Be it running specialist schools, campaigning for improved rights or training companies on being more autism-friendly, we are dedicated to transforming lives and changing attitudes.

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Activities to promote relaxation and mindfulness by Healthy Minds Lincolnshire

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Online courses for parents

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Togetherness, the NHS team raising awareness and sharing relationship-focused information about emotional health and wellbeing through accessible training and learning.

Emotional resilience for the everyday

Accessible, evidence-based tools from children's and adolescent mental health experts to support all parents and families to help raise confident, kind, resilient people who can thrive in our changing world.

Togetherness is the new home of the Solihull Approach, a trusted model for raising emotional wellbeing and resilience, developed by Dr Hazel Douglas MBE, Clinical Psychologist and Child Psychotherapist, and her team as an integrative framework that has delivered more than 25 years of impact for families and also practitioners.

Togetherness online learning pathways for parents and families

Bitesize learning pathways written for parents to build confidence for raising kind, emotionally aware, resilient children who can thrive across all walks of life. Tailored journeys bring psychology and experience together to share proven theories and tested ideas for meaningful change in relationships for happier family lives. You will find pathways for:

Join the growing number of people benefiting from Togetherness. Contact us to learn more about training, resources and accreditation.

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Emotional resilience for the everyday Accessible, evidence-based tools from children's and adolescent mental health experts to support all parents and families to help raise confident, kind, resilient people who can thrive in our changing world. Togetherness is the new home of the Solihull Approach, a trusted model for raising emotional wellbeing and resilience, developed by [...]

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Information regarding referrals via GP

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Did you know you can choose which hospital you go to when referred for a test, diagnosis, or treatment? Find out how.

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"Since starting alumina it's become the highlight of my week. It's such a safe, non judgemental place which has really helped me in my recovery."

Max

"If you're thinking about joining I'd say go for it, the team are lovely and everyone who does it is so welcoming and supportive"

Abi

Alumina is a free, online 7 week course for young people struggling with self-harm. Each course has up to 14 young people, all accessing the sessions from their own phones, tablets or laptops across the UK. The courses take place on different evenings of the week and are run by friendly, trained counsellors and volunteer youth workers. You don't need an adult to refer you or sign you up, and no-one will see or hear you during the sessions - you'll just join in via the chatbox. We want to help you to find your next steps towards recovery, wherever you are on your journey.

IS ALUMINA RIGHT FOR ME?

Are you...

10-17 years old?

Living in the UK?

Someone who self-harms or worries they might?

Looking for support but not wanting to do it face to face?

Wanting to move towards a life free from self-harm?

If so...

Alumina could be a helpful step forward. If you sign up we'll begin a conversation over email to work out if it might be a good fit - and you can ask us any questions you have. The only rule we have in Alumina is that we don't talk about suicide in the groups. If that's something you are struggling with thinking about we recommend getting in touch with our friends at Papyrus who are better equipped to support you.

"I thought it would be all serious and uncomfortable because of the self-harm talk but actually, the staff have made me laugh, we've been given a space that feels relevant to our ages and most importantly we can turn up in any mood and they'll be there for us." Runa

What's a session like?

"Clicking on the link for the first time was nerve wracking and intense with lots of thoughts going through my head. But within only a few minutes of the session I had a smile on my face and felt comfortable with the staff and the group."

Sasha

"Alumina was quite different to what I expected, I thought it would just be an intense 6 weeks and it would be over like other services. But it was nothing like that - instead I felt and still feel very supported by the staff. The group and staff are like a big family who's always there for me."

Samara

"Clicking that link for the very first time was terrifying. But I knew it could be life-changing. The first session I felt welcome, I no longer felt like an outsider. It's fun, believe me!! Most days I find myself looking forward to the next session because Alumina gives me a sign of hope."

Dan

Questions

We aren't a crisis service so if you're in need of immediate support please contact one of the following:

The Mix: Offering essential support for anyone aged 12-25. For their crisis messenger support service text THEMIX to 85258.
Childline: Support for anyone up to age 18. Call, chat online or email their crisis service.
Samaritans: Call 116123 anytime if you need to talk to someone.

We've changed the shape of our support for young people. This website introduces Alumina, our online support groups for young people struggling with self-harm. We've also recently launched beheadstrong.uk offering young people all kinds of information, stories and videos about looking after your mental and emotional wellbeing. You can find links to some of selfharm.co.uk's most popular articles below.

Yes we have! We have worked with 14-19 year olds for many years but we have always heard from people who are younger (or those who care about them) asking if we do anything for younger people. Then from September 2022 we reduced our age range to 11, and found how important it was to support this age range and that our Early Intervention project was great for this age range. Therefore, from October 2023 we will be aiming our work at young people in secondary school or college (or equivalent) and those transitioning to secondary school and our age range has reduced to 10-17 years old. If you're under 13 we will need to get permission from someone with parental responsibility for you, and we will email them to explain how Alumina works and make sure they are happy with you joining a group.

We aim to group similar aged young people into groups together, so 10-13-year-olds will be offered groups together and 13-17 year olds will be in other groups together. We are happy to work with anyone until the end of their full-time education, therefore we will work with 17- and 18-year-olds so long as they are three months or more away from finishing their education at the end of August.

Meet the team

Live Webinars

We have recently started to do live webinars on YouTube on issues related to self-harm and emotional wellbeing

Supporting Young People Who Self-harm

If you're a parent, professional or friend supporting a young person who's self-harming, we recommend taking an hour to watch this webinar with our Alumina Managers. They explore why people self-harm, why young people especially self-harm, why it becomes addictive, how to break the addiction cycle, and what young people wish the adults around them understood about self-harm.

"Alumina is a well thought through support service for young people; it is professional, caring and accessible to all. Signposting a young person to Alumina will help them begin their recovery journey."

DR. KATE MIDDLETON

Our Alumina advisory panel

More information about self-harm

We've moved some of our most popular articles about self-harm over to beheadstrong.uk, and you can use these links to find them:

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Free online Self-harm support for 10-17 year olds

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"Since starting alumina it's become the highlight of my week. It's such a safe, non judgemental place which has really helped me in my recovery." Max "If you're thinking about joining I'd say go for it, the team are lovely and everyone who does it is so welcoming and supportive" Abi Alumina is a free, online 7 week course for young people struggling with self-harm.

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Children’s mental health - Every Mind Matters

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See tips and advice for parents and carers on how to support children and young people’s mental wellbeing, and give them the best chance to stay healthy.

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Oppositional Defiant Disorder - Fact Sheet

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British Dyslexia Association-Guide for Parents

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Support for families of children with ASD

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Support for families of children with ASD

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What is Conduct Disorder or ODD?

Conduct disorder (CD) is a behavioural disorder characterised by hostile, and sometimes physically violent behaviour towards other people. Children and young people with conduct disorder (CD) often repeatedly break social rules and behave in a way that upsets other people. Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is similar but milder and is usually seen in younger children.

Younger children with conduct disorder or ODD might often disobey adults' instructions, have angry outbursts or break things. For older children this could also include lying, stealing, bullying and repeatedly breaking rules. Teenagers might skip school, run away from home, misuse alcohol or drugs, or show antisocial behaviour (e.g. vandalism or assault).

Signs that a child or young person may be affected by Conduct Disorder

Although it is normal for children and young people to act out at times, a persistent pattern of callous, violent behaviour may indicate an underlying conduct disorder. There are some signs and symptoms to look out for, and if these behaviours persist for more than a few months, it is recommended to talk to your GP about a possible conduct disorder diagnosis.

One of the main characteristics of conduct disorder is a complete, and often callous, disregard for the feelings or rights of other people. It may seem that children and young people especially enjoy causing harm to others, and that lying and aggressive behaviours are gratifying to them.

In younger children, it may be more difficult to distinguish conduct disorder from more typical 'acting out' behaviours. However, these behaviours will be more coercive than typically expected, with instances of children stealing items for no apparent reason and with no apparent worth, lying simply for the sake of lying, and relentless bullying.

In older children, the behaviours associated with conduct disorder may be more apparent and include frequent fighting, cheating, lying, and trespassing. Young people with conduct disorder may also be involved in vandalism, emotionally or physically abusive behaviours towards others, such as forcing sex or having a potentially deadly weapon with them.

Although there is no single cause for Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) or Conduct Disorder (CD), a child or young person may be more likely to develop these if they are depressed, have been bullied or abused, are around other young people with behavioural problems or drug use, or in the presence of extreme family disorganisation. It is, therefore, important to take note of any severe behavioural changes in your child and seek help as soon as possible.

Symptoms can be divided into four main groups: aggression, destruction, deceit and violation of rules. If your child feels extreme depression or fear, feels out of control, cannot eat or sleep for 3 or more days in a row and shows behaviour that is worrying to friends or other family members, it may be time to seek professional help.

Common issues parents and carers may have to contend with

The earlier Conduct Disorder or ODD symptoms arise, the higher the risk for future violent and criminal activities. Parents, carers and families may have to contend with severe emotional abuse from a child or young person, difficulty in getting a diagnosis and suitable treatment, issues with the law and police, and violent outbursts.

The majority of children and young people with conduct disorder will have another diagnosis, with ADHD, depressive disorder or substance misuse being the most common. Young people are, therefore, more at-risk regarding problems with health and safety, such as engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse or experimenting with illegal drugs. They may be frequently involved in violent physical fights, refuse to follow rules and may also steal and lie about events. As the child gets older, they may start to skip school, stay out all night or even break the law. They may not show any remorse when caught doing any of these activities, and it may be very challenging to contend with this behaviour.

As conduct disorder may be challenging to overcome, parents and carers may be faced with feelings of helplessness and fear. It is important to have a network of people to support a child or young person with ODD or CD, including teachers and peers. Parents and carers may have to contend with difficulties at school or college, with fights between peers and with adherence to treatment, and may sometimes feel overwhelmed and helpless.

How to support a child or young person with Conduct Disorder

Early, consistent treatment for Conduct Disorder is very important, and there are a few options available to families: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Family Therapy and Group Therapy. It may be very challenging to support a young person during the initial stages of treatment as they may be resistant and uncooperative at first. It is very important to remain patient and committed to helping the young person get the help they need.

Treatment usually includes both individual and family therapy, where the primary goal is to improve the young person's interactions with others. Treatment may include learning strategies to de-escalate conflicts and can also lead to a reduced risk of antisocial behaviours developing.

What to say to schools and colleges

Support from schools and colleges is an integral part of treatment for children and young people with Conduct Disorder. A team of school counsellors, school psychologists, social workers and administrators may be involved in managing your child's diagnosis. In some cases, children and young people with Conduct Disorder may qualify for an individualised Education Healthcare Plan, which can support them with their academic and social needs at school.

Within the classroom, teachers and school staff can support a child or young person by minimising distractions and seating the child close to a good role model. Providing structure and routine during schoolwork and breaks may also be helpful. Work on identifying any triggers in your child's behaviour, but do not provide any opportunities for arguments or confrontation. It is important for staff to be positive and to reward a child or young person's efforts as achievements in the classroom.

What to say to siblings

It is normal for siblings to get into fights and have conflict at times. However, it is important for siblings to understand the diagnosis of Conduct Disorder, and to know what may trigger extreme behaviour in their brother/sister.

Siblings of people with Conduct Disorder are at-risk of verbal, emotional and physical abuse. It is therefore important that they know to remain calm and to try to avoid any power struggles and for parents and carers not to normalise abusive behaviour which can impact on the wellbeing of their other children.

Siblings can play an important role in managing conduct disorder in the home environment, and therefore their participation in family therapy may be particularly helpful.

What to say to extended family

Having a good support system is important in the treatment of Conduct Disorder. Therefore, extended family members should be aware of what Conduct Disorder is and what the strategies are to help manage the behaviour. It is also important that extended family members plan visits in advance, so that the child or young person with Conduct Disorder is prepared for this visit and it does not disrupt their schedule.

Most importantly, family members should remain calm when interacting with a child or young person who has Conduct Disorder, and to avoid confrontations wherever possible.

Additional support for parents and carers

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Supporting children and young people with conduct disorder or ODD

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Information for parents and carers to support children and young people with conduct disorder and ODD.

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Dyscalculia for Parents - Dyscalculia Network

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The Dyscalculia Network is a leading network for Parents who may have children who have Dyscalculia. Find expert advice and support online.

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Understanding and supporting my child's ADHD

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Understanding and supporting my child's ADHD

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What is ADHD?

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects behaviour and concentration.

Children and young people with ADHD often seem unusually restless, impulsive or distracted. They may speak or act without thinking, struggle with organisation, find it hard to focus or appear to be always on the go. Some people with ADHD do not experience hyperactivity; this used to be called attention deficit disorder (ADD), though the term in no longer used officially.

ADHD is not a mental illness or a learning disability, though children and young people with ADHD may also have other conditions or experience mental health problems.

Living with ADHD can be very challenging, for children and young people as well as for their parents and carers. But the right diagnosis, treatment and support can make a big difference to a child's learning, life skills and relationships, as well as making family life easier. There is also lots you can do as a parent/carer to help your child manage the things they find difficult.

What are the most common symptoms of ADHD?

A child with ADHD may be:

easily distracted, finding it difficult to start or finish tasks

often unable to concentrate

often restless or fidgety

very talkative, often interrupting or blurting things out

impulsive, acting before considering consequences, prone to taking risks

easily angry or frustrated, struggling to deal with emotions

finding making or maintaining friendships difficult

disorganised, for instance often losing things or being late

lacking awareness of time

Every child or young person with ADHD is individual and they may not display all of these behaviours. And many of these traits and behaviours are typical in younger children, or can follow a traumatic experience - they don't necessarily mean your child has ADHD.

Age and gender can also affect how someone with ADHD behaves. This can make it harder to spot signs of ADHD, particularly in girls, who are more likely to be undiagnosed or wrongly diagnosed with other conditions.

Typically the symptoms of ADHD develop in early childhood and they may become particularly noticeable at times of significant change, such as starting or changing school.

What to do if you think your child might have ADHD

If your child frequently experiences some of these symptoms and it's affecting their day-to-day life, discuss your concerns with your child's GP. Before doing this, talk to your child's teacher and the school special educational needs co-ordinator (SENCO) about what they have noticed.

The GP may want to refer your child for assessment, as ADHD can only be diagnosed by a specialist such as a child and adolescent psychiatrist or paediatrician.

Sometimes parents are reluctant to pursue assessment. They may be worried about 'labelling' their child or about stigma, or they may prefer to watch and wait. These feelings are normal. But parents and young people who do seek diagnosis can find it helps them access the right support; understand and manage challenges; and identify individual strengths.

We have more information about getting support from the GP, CAMHS or school in our guide.

ADHD diagnosis, support and treatment

ADHD assessment is usually done through the specialist Children and Young People's Mental Health Services, commonly referred to as CAMHS.

Diagnosis is most commonly made in childhood, and in the majority of cases, symptoms affecting daily life continue into adulthood.

There is no single, definitive test for ADHD. Specialists will base clinical diagnosis on a combination of observations of your child; discussions and questionnaires (with you and your child); and information from your child's school.

They will consider how long the symptoms have been present; their impact on your child's daily life; and whether they might be due to another condition. The NHS states that approximately 60-80% of children with ADHD have at least one other condition (such as autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia, anxiety or behaviour problems), and your child may be given more than one diagnosis.

Support and treatment options

You and your child should be offered support and advice to help manage ADHD in their day-to-day life.

ADHD can also be treated with medication and/or therapies. These should be discussed with you when your child is diagnosed, and are set out in the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) guidelines on ADHD.

ADHD can be treated with therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). For more information about therapy, see our parent guide to counselling and therapy.

There are a number of types of medication. These are not a cure for ADHD, and many children do not take them, but they can help manage some of the symptoms. Medication must be prescribed and overseen by a specialist.

You may also be offered ADHD -focussed parent training. This does not mean your parenting is somehow wrong. It is designed to provide support and specific strategies and skills to help you and your child thrive.

Jack is still perennially late, disorganised and impulsive; but he's also energetic, original and creative. The medication is helping him make the most of all of that.

What you can do to support your child with ADHD

Be explicit and consistent about unacceptable behaviour, such as violence. Set appropriate consequences and follow them through, but try to stay calm in the moment to avoid escalation. Dealing with challenging behaviour can be very hard, and our parent guide has helpful advice.

Plan the day so your child knows what to expect. Maintaining regular sleep patterns, physical activity and mealtimes can help your child. Some people find dietary change and/or certain supplements helpful. But the NHS states that there is no clinical evidence for this, and medical advice should be sought first. Our young person's guide has helpful advice on sleep problems.

The impact of ADHD on your child's mental health

Any child or young person can struggle with their mental health and wellbeing, whether or not they have ADHD. This might be caused by things like family change, bullying, exam stress or a traumatic event.

But having ADHD may also mean your child has extra challenges - such as social difficulties, struggling to manage their emotions or getting into trouble at school - that leave them more vulnerable to low self-esteem, anxiety or depression.

Children and young people with ADHD frequently have other developmental or mental health conditions and it is important to ensure they have the appropriate support for these.

As a parent there is a lot you can do to support your child with their wellbeing and mental health:

encourage your child to talk about how they are feeling with you. Our starting a conversation guide has ideas for keeping communication open

if you feel your child may have a mental health problem or another condition alongside ADHD, discuss your concerns with their GP or ADHD specialist.

Working with school if your child has ADHD

ADHD is a special education need (SEN), and it may be referred to as a specific learning difference (SpLD). Your child is entitled to appropriate support to help them thrive socially and educationally. This could include potential adjustments in certain situations, such as extra time or rest breaks for exams, movement breaks in lessons, written instructions for tasks and a seating plan that minimises distractions.

Discuss the diagnosis and needs with the school's SENCO, taking a list of your concerns and background information to the meeting.

Your child may be entitled to an education, health and care plan (EHC plan) which details the support they need and how it will be provided. (The National Autistic Society has helpful information about EHC plans.)

Good communication between you and school can be really helpful in ensuring your child thrives in education and meets their potential. Our parent guide to support has more advice on talking to school or college.

ADHD in teenagers and beyond

If your child is a teenager or young person, their needs and the support you give may well be different from when they were younger. They may like to read our young person's guide to ADHD and mental health. But there are still many ways you can help.

Looking after your own wellbeing

Parenting a child with ADHD can sometimes be isolating, upsetting or exhausting. Sometimes parents feel judged or blamed by others (unjustifiably as parenting does not cause ADHD). It is entirely understandable if you are finding things difficult.

It's important to recognise the impact the situation is having on you, and think about ways you can take care of yourself - including getting support from other people so that you can take some time off. It's okay to ask for help when you need it, and to share your worries with someone you trust. We have advice on looking after yourself as well as your child.

Our son's challenging behaviour with ADHD had an enormous impact on the whole family, as we and his brothers bore the brunt of his anger.

Where to get further support

If you would to speak to a professional adviser or find out more about how you can support your child, these organisations can help.
While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

This page was reviewed in March 2022. It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with ADHD. We will next review the page in 2025. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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ADHD Support For Your Child | Parents Advice Guide

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If your child is struggling to manage their ADHD, read our tips on what you can do to support them, how to get a diagnosis and where to find help.

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Free Online Parenting Courses with Certificates - Free Courses in England

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Start one of our flexible free online parenting courses with certificates today! Start your journey towards gaining new knowledge and skills as a parent.

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Sleep Well, Lincolnshire - The Sleep Charity

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The Sleep Charity is holding its first ever online sleep conference for parents and professionals in the Lincolnshire area.

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SEND Local Offer - Lincolnshire County Council

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Information from Lincolnshire County Council about schools, roads, jobs, registrars, recycling, childcare, social care, health, libraries, planning, emergencies and business.

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inourplace | Solihull Approach - Online courses for emotional health and wellbeing.

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inourplace | Solihull Approach - Lincolnshire | inourplace

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Lincolnshire | inourplace Your online space for nurturing emotional wellbeing SELECT LANGUAGE: In paid partnership with: Free online courses for all parents, carers, grandparents and teens Nurturing emotional health and wellbeing from bump to 19+ years Lincolnshire County Council has partnered with the Solihull Approach to offer free access to expertly designed online courses for parents,

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Here4You - No young person should ever feel alone

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Here4You.uk support young people's mental health by signposting youth, parents and teachers to immediate help and resources.

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The British Dyslexia Association is the voice for the 10% of the population that are dyslexic