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Child Mind Institute

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As the country reopens and summer begins, each family faces new and difficult decisions about how to stay safe. Is day camp too risky? Can we visit the grandparents? Should our teenagers be trusted to socialize safely? Plus, there are still huge uncertainties about the future. What will school look like in the fall? Will jobs come back?

With no clear road map and so many difficult and confusing choices to make, even parents who've been able to manage anxiety in the past may be struggling now.

"There's a myth that because everybody is having a hard time, your stress doesn't count," says Rachel Busman, PsyD, head of the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute. "But that's not true."

Figuring out how to manage anxiety and tolerate uncertainty are important skills for everyone, but for parents, they're even more essential. Among other things, anxiety typically causes us to lose our cool more frequently. And with our kids close by 24/7, they're watching, and often copying, our every move.

There's no one-size-fits-all solution for anxiety, but there are some general strategies you can customize to manage your specific challenges.

Focus on what you can control

"Uncertainty is really uncomfortable," says Dr. Busman. "Uncertainty and this situation are not good friends, but they're forced to cohabitate." The impulse to try to force things to be more certain is strong but, she says, in the end it's a waste of energy. "It's very exhausting and ultimately, you're not going win."

Instead, Dr. Busman suggests practicing acceptance. There will be practical solutions to some problems, but others, such as how to prepare your child for school in the fall, are impossible to solve because no one knows what school will actually look like. "Acknowledge that you wish you knew what the future holds, but the reality is that you don't. So you can't make a decision right now. You'll make it when you have all of the information you need."

Likewise, Dr. Busman suggests avoiding catastrophic thinking by talking yourself down from worst-case scenarios. Taking a very rational approach, she says, can be a big help when you are feeling powerless against anxiety.

Use skills to assess risks

It can feel like there's never been a harder time to be a parent, but the day-to-day work of raising children means many of us actually have a head start on building skills to manage anxiety. Parents are constantly assessing risks before making decisions, notes Janine Domingues, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute.

It not only enables us to make those day-to-day choices, it also lowers anxiety. Many of the stressful decisions we're facing now can be handled the same way you are used to, even if the stakes feel higher.

"Parents already have the skills to take a step back and look at things from a practical perspective," she says. And those skills can make it easier to navigate important decisions with a clear head. For example, if your child is desperate to see friends, gather as much information as you can. Are all kids willing to wear masks? Is there a safe place for them to meet outdoors? Has anyone been ill? This will allow you to weigh the pros (happy kid) and cons (possibility of getting sick) and make a reasonable, informed decision.

Maintain social connections

In times of extreme stress, people who have solid social support are less likely to feel traumatized and overwhelmed. So if you've been disconnected from your social circle, it's time to reconnect. You don't need to recreate the full social life you had prior to the pandemic, just select a few people. Reach out (virtually - or cautiously) to close friends who will listen and support you, as well as people who can make you laugh and take your mind off of the angst in your life.

"When we look at long-term outcomes, we know that people who fare best are those who feel supported and connected to others," Dr. Busman explains. "So while you're trying to navigate through everything, do the best you can to connect with others."

Make a plan to stay in touch with people you enjoy, but be realistic. If the thought of another family Zoom call is too overwhelming, or if you're just not up to that virtual book club you signed up for, that's okay. Instead, aim for a few chats with friends, family or colleagues who can help you relax - and maybe even laugh - after an exhausting or especially stressful day.

Be transparent about ground rules

If you're worried about seeing friends in person because they may not have the same opinion on social distancing or masks, the best way to get over your anxiety is to take the conversational leap.

"Don't assume you know what the other person is thinking," Dr. Domingues recommends. "Instead, throw it out there and open up the conversation."

She advises being clear and concise by saying something like, "We really want to see you, and this is what we're thinking. What are your thoughts?"

Practice setting boundaries, even when it feels uncomfortable. For example, if friends aren't practicing the same level of caution, explain that you won't be able to see them until you feel confident there's no risk of infection. Similarly, if somebody gets too close when you're outside, it's totally okay to politely ask them to step back. Consider it a new social norm.

Take breaks when you need them

Untreated anxiety can make you feel irritable and overwhelmed. If your child is bombarding you with questions during the middle of an important work assignment or at the end of a long day, you may find yourself snapping at them.

It can help to take a step back, and a breath, before responding.

"Tell your child you need a few minutes and go into your bedroom," Dr. Busman advises. She suggests using mindfulness techniques, like deep breathing, to help yourself calm down.

"Take five deep breaths and then consider the cause of your stress," she recommends. "Are you actually feeling overwhelmed by their questions, or are you too busy or exhausted to manage their request? Ask yourself if there is something you can do right now - is the anxiety within your control or out of your control? Do you have the bandwidth to help your child right now? Maybe you need to finish your work or eat dinner first."

Explain that you're overwhelmed (or use the words "feeling big emotions" for younger children) and you need to take some deep breaths, complete your work or relax before you can help them. Assure them this isn't their fault. Not only will you feel less stressed, but you're also modeling the right way to manage anxiety and convey your feelings to others.

If you did yell at your kids, Dr. Domingues says not to worry - it happens to everyone. Instead, model how to repair the problem. Tell your child how you were feeling, say what you should have done instead - like take deep breaths - and emphasize that you're sorry.

Don't hesitate to seek help

"Even though this is a very stressful time for most people, it doesn't mean that you don't need help if you're struggling," says Dr. Busman. If you've tried informal strategies and they aren't working, she recommends finding a professional. Many are seeing patients through either telehealth or in-person sessions with precautions.

"If you're having persistent sleep, mood or appetite changes, withdrawing from others or constantly ruminating over the same thoughts, then it might be an indication that you need some outside help," she adds. "You don't have to suffer unnecessarily, and treatment for anxiety can be very solution-focused."

Anxiety is common, but it doesn't have to be a part of your new normal.

Click here for more resources related to the coronavirus crisis.

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Managing Anxiety During Reopening | Child Mind Institute

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As the country reopens and summer begins, each family faces new and difficult decisions about how to stay safe. Is day camp too risky? Can we visit the grandparents? Should our teenagers be trusted to socialize safely? Plus, there are still huge uncertainties about the future. What will school look like in the fall?

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COVID-19: How to Stay Safe During Outdoor Activities

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COVID-19: How to Stay Safe During Outdoor Activities

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Cleveland Clinic

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With many states issuing stay-at-home orders and limiting unnecessary travel, you might be wondering if it's still OK to go outside or even visit a local park during the coronavirus pandemic.

The short answer is yes - it's fine to go for a walk or hike outside in noncrowded areas. But there's a few things you'll need to keep in mind. Infectious disease specialist, Frank Esper, MD, discusses what you need to know to stay safe before hitting up your favorite park or trail.

Social distancing is still in effect - even outside

Unfortunately, going outside is really all we have right now, as most stores, restaurants and other businesses are closed. But we know that being outside is good for us. Nature and fresh air can help us relax and feel less stressed, which most of us could use!

"There's something to be said about squirreling away in our houses for such a long period of time and then seeing people out and about," says Dr. Esper. "It's nice to actually see people doing normal things like walking a dog, jogging or just taking a baby for a stroll."

But as nice as it is to physically see people, it's important to remember that the same rules of social distancing that you follow indoors still apply while outdoors. It's also encouraged to stay local if you can. Try visiting parks near your house to limit travel and plan your outings carefully. Think about what locations tend to get crowded and at what times.

Family members or those living in the same household can stay in close proximity at the park. But if you're walking or hiking with neighbors or friends, then you'll need to maintain a minimum of six feet. Also activities involving groups of people or physical contact (like a pickup game of soccer or flag football) are a no-go.

"I've seen some parks that are so crowded that it's almost like an amusement park where you have to wait in line to get on the trail," says Dr. Esper. "You'll want to avoid being in a situation like that."

If the park or trails appear to be too crowded and you can't maintain a good social distance from others (or even find a parking spot for that matter!), it's wise to move on or find another time to visit.

Before you go to the park, make sure you've packed water and snacks to avoid having to stop at the store. Try not to use public restrooms and don't touch your face once you're out and about. Wash your hands or use hand sanitizer before and after visiting a park or going outside. It's also a good idea to limit the surfaces you touch - from park benches to trail maps.

Check official guidelines often

"In some areas where there's higher cases of the virus, they have closed down parks just because there were too many people in too small of an acreage," explains Dr. Esper.

It's a good idea to be aware of park closures and do some research before going. Some national parks, beaches and other outdoor areas have been closed to maintain a safe level of social distancing. While in other areas, park entrance fees have been waived to encourage people to get outside and do something rather than being cooped up.

Before heading out, your best bet is to check with your local health officials either by looking online or by calling the park directly to see what the health guidelines are.

Keep in mind - things change quickly. It's important to keep up-to-date on best practices and guidelines so you're well informed.

Running & biking outside during coronavirus

Maybe you've picked up running during the coronavirus outbreak or perhaps you're a veteran cyclist. Whatever your cardio career looks like, you might be wondering if you're putting other people at risk while you're out there huffing and puffing.

The coronavirus spreads primarily through coughing and sneezing. And when someone does this, they're expelling little droplets that can travel about six feet out.

"When you're running, you may be breathing hard, but you're not really getting that type of force out that's going to be able to expel the virus from so far away," says Dr. Esper. "Although there might not be an exact science, the six-foot rule pretty much applies for everybody in every situation - whether you're running, jogging or what have you."

Other tips for runners and cyclists:

Choose your routes carefully to avoid high traffic areas.

Try to run or ride on sidewalks or trails and avoid busy roads to reduce the odds of getting in an accident.

Be mindful about the surfaces you touch when you're out. For instance, use your elbow to touch cross walk buttons instead of your hand.

Remember to bring your sports water bottle or bag of nuts with you so you don't have to make an unnecessary refueling stop.

Always stay at least six feet away from other people you might pass, and be sure to give proper notice when passing so you don't catch someone off guard. (Since we all seem to be a little on guard these days to begin with!)

So go ahead - take the dog for a walk, ride your bike or hit up that running trail you've been meaning to visit. Just remember, we're still in a pandemic and you still need to practice good social distancing, even outside.

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COVID-19: How to Stay Safe During Outdoor Activities

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With many states issuing stay-at-home orders and limiting unnecessary travel, you might be wondering if it's still OK to go outside or even visit a local park during the coronavirus pandemic. The short answer is yes - it's fine to go for a walk or hike outside in noncrowded areas.

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School’s Out: A Parents’ Guide for Meeting the Challenge During the COVID-19 Pandemic

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School’s Out: A Parents’ Guide for Meeting the Challenge During the COVID-19 Pandemic

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NYU Langone Health

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As schools across the nation close to stop the spread of 2019 coronavirus disease (COVID-19), millions of children are obliged to remain at home. During this time, it is helpful for parents to consider their child's needs for structure, education, exercise, social contact, appropriate leisure time, and calm, rational explanations about the situation, says Richard Gallagher, PhD, associate professor in the Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at NYU Langone.

Dr. Gallagher, along with Helen L. Egger, MD, the Arnold Simon Professor of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, chair of the Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, and director of NYU Langone's Child Study Center, offers suggestions for parents to help make the most of their child's time off from school, while keeping in mind child development and children's reactions to stressful and changing situations.

A Need for Structure

Children may consider this time to be similar to long school breaks or summer vacation, but it is not exactly the same. "Unlike summer vacation, this break is sudden and unplanned, and the time away from school has not been specified," says Dr. Gallagher. "This can be difficult for children to understand. In general, people don't do well when they are unsure about the future, even in an area as simple as the schedule."

Set a schedule for the weekdays and weekends. Children and teens do their best if there are plans for each day, especially the weekdays when they would have been in school, Dr. Gallagher says.

Set Regular Bedtimes and Wake-Ups

After perhaps the first few days, have your child or teen follow the usual school day-weekend day sleep schedule. It is best to have a regular wake-up time and bedtime that is the same as the schedule you set when they are attending school, since it can be hard to get back on track, especially if kids get into a late-to-bed, late-to-rise schedule.

Establish a School Day Educational Schedule

"A free-for-all, loose schedule is nice for snow days or other short breaks, but can lead to boredom and a difficult time getting back into the educational routine if it lasts," Dr. Gallagher says. "Find out how your children's schools plan to keep students engaged and active, and follow the suggested schedule."

Parents can consider starting with a morning meeting and schedule list, since this is what most teachers do to start the day. Have a list of the subjects and activities for the day, and create 30- to 45-minute blocks of time to work on the subjects that your child takes.

For elementary school children, a sample morning could include math, followed by a walking break or playing catch for about 10 minutes; social studies-including current events-using online resources; a set of jumping jacks and a race around the house for another break; and then science.

Take a break for lunch and have your child help make it, while building in lessons using the internet or library books exploring the following questions:

Where does the food come from? For example, how is bread made from farm to bakery?

What transportation is required to get the food to the store and home?

What workers are involved in the supply chain?

What government agencies are responsible to assure food safety?

What science is used to make advances in food quality? For example, you can explain the early work of Gregor Mendel.

Math and science can be also incorporated into cooking and meal prep. Questions to pose to your child may include the following:

What happens to vegetables when they are heated?

Why do we cook meat? Does cooking help reduce germs?

How much more is 360 degrees than 120 degrees?

At what temperature does water boil?

If you have a non-digital thermometer, what is the substance inside made of?

After lunch, recess can be in session, followed by a round of language arts, reading, and writing practice. To conclude the school day, consider assigning brief homework, such as reviewing one of the activities from the day.

Parents could also set up safe playdates, Dr. Gallagher says, or consider some joint lessons with classmates that are healthy. Determining how many children can get together should be an informed conversation with the other parents, your doctor, and any updated guidance from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Taking Education Online

While schools are shuttered, many schools are moving their lessons online by providing virtual instruction or assignments. "Make sure your child keeps up with the assignments and can engage in any virtual instruction," Dr. Egger says.

If your child's school is not providing these options, turn to sources from reputable home-school organizations and websites, as many of these organizations provide lessons and materials for every grade level.

Educational publisher Scholastic has also curated a free digital learning hub designed to support virtual learning plans for children in prekindergarten to grade 9. Library associations can also provide guidance on books-both fiction and nonfiction-for different age levels.

Exercise and Social Contact

"By keeping active each day, everyone will be calmer and will sleep better," Dr. Gallagher says. "Get involved by taking walks and playing games with your kids, such as tag, hide-and-seek, Red Rover, and Simon Says," Dr. Gallagher says. "Relay races, bike rides, and hikes are great, too." Hikes can also be used to teach about nature, plants, animals, and birds.

As for sports, "You can get together a small group of healthy kids to play some games," he adds. "It doesn't have to be fancy-kickball is enjoyed by all ages."

Follow guidelines on the safe size of group contacts that people can have, relying on the CDC or your local office of public health for guidance. Getting friends together in small groups can provide fun and ease tension, Dr. Gallagher says. "Social contact is very important for children. Youth that are connected to other children are happier, less anxious, and have more fun."

Even when isolated, parents can help kids stay connected to others with modern technology, within reasonable limits, Dr. Gallagher adds. Encourage appropriate and reasonable use of phones, tablets, and computers for making the connections. Parents should follow wise guidance on use, including broad monitoring of content and the tone of communications that have been or are occurring.

"You do not need to know the details of each interaction, but you should have a sense of the themes and the persons that your child is contacting, even teens," Dr. Egger says. "While out of school, children may be seen as potential targets for cyber predators, so encourage your children to be open about the messages that they receive and persons that are making contact attempts."

Leisure Time Considerations

Let your kids have a varied leisure time diet of television, books, and other media. Some of the content can be serious and uplifting, and a smaller portion of it can be silly or even junky.

Make certain that a good portion of leisure time activity is active, both mentally and physically. "Passive observation and watching of content is fine within limits, but don't let your child's mind go numb by consuming content that does not require thought," Dr. Gallagher says. "Teachers and school provide kids with more than six hours of mental exercise. Try to match that."

Passive and sedentary entertainment can also be a problem. It can lead to a reduction in physical health and fitness and contribute to unwanted weight gain. "Remember, at school, children and teen are at least walking around the building," Dr. Gallagher adds.

Reducing Anxiety in the Face of Real-Life Concerns

It's best for parents to provide rational explanations about COVID-19 and help maintain an appropriate calm, experts say. To help manage anxiety in children of all ages, make certain to provide accurate information from reliable sources.

"Recognize that even young kids overhear conversations and news reports," Dr. Gallagher says. "Children say that they find local news that they do not understand to be more frightening than scary fairy tales or even horror movies. Because of this, it's important for parents to ask their kids if they have questions or concerns about the situation and to work hard to clarify their understandings."

Do your best to protect your child and family members from COVID-19 and let your child know how they can protect themself and others. Guides and rules for social distancing and hygiene and consulting with healthcare professionals should be followed. "Even young children can calmly understand illnesses. Let them know at an appropriate developmental level how COVID-19 can be passed onto others, that most people do not become very sick, and that health professionals are working hard to take care of the very ill in isolated settings," Dr. Egger adds.

If you find yourself excessively worried, tense, or sad, consult with health, mental health, and other sources of counseling, such as clergy. Check for these reactions in your children too. "Stressful times contribute to mental health problems, especially if they were present before the stress started," Dr. Gallagher says. "Make sure to take care of you and your children's mental health during this health concern."

Engage in reasonable distractions and have your children do the same. Consider taking in doses of news rather than checking it constantly.

Finally, watch out for problematic reactions to stress in you and in your child. Times of extended stress are associated with increases in the following:

Substance use by adults and teens and some children. Be mindful of excessive use by adults and any use by those under 21.

Sibling fights, since children may be cooped up with one another for long stretches. Be ready to help discuss conflicts and set guidelines for how to resolve problems.

Fights and tension between and among caretakers. Parents will probably have more arguments, and conflicts between all of the caretakers are likely, including sitters, nannies, grandparents, and other family members. Tight quarters and limited time away from each other can contribute to arguments and even aggression.

Domestic violence and child abuse. Tempers and poor decision-making flare up during times of stress. If you are concerned about your actions or the actions of others, make sure to rely upon regional resources and hotlines. Find ways to decompress and take breaks. This may mean that you will have to work as a team to relieve one another.

Demoralization and depression. The situation can seem bleak, but try to keep information in perspective. How you do so will depend on your faith and beliefs. Turn to these sources for support. Also remember that, although sad, most people will survive as they have in past widespread health problems.

Resources for Talking to Kids About COVID-19

The Child Study Center hosts educational webinars throughout the year. In its latest webinar, Everyone Is Anxious: Talking to Your Child About Novel Coronavirus, Child Study Center experts Lori K. Evans, PhD, and Kathleen Camacho, PsyD, discuss how to help children cope with COVID-19 and provide ideas by diagnosis and developmental level. Watch here.

Other resources include the following:

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School's Out: A Parents' Guide for Meeting the Challenge During the COVID-19 Pandemic

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As schools across the nation close to stop the spread of 2019 coronavirus disease (COVID-19), millions of children are obliged to remain at home. During this time, it is helpful for parents to consider their child's needs for structure, education, exercise, social contact, appropriate leisure time, and calm, rational explanations about the situation, says Richard Gallagher, PhD, associate professor in the Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at NYU Langone.

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6 ideas for summer fun now that camp has been canceled

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6 ideas for summer fun now that camp has been canceled

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CNN

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6 ideas for summer fun now that camp has been canceled - cnn

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6 ideas for summer fun now that camp has been canceled

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Your best-laid plans for sending the kids to summer camp have been obliterated by the coronavirus pandemic. Here are six suggestions for salvaging the summer without breaking the bank.

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How School Closures Can Strengthen Your Family

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How School Closures Can Strengthen Your Family

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Greater Good Magazine of UC Berkeley

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As our kids figure out how to learn online, we can retool in our families, too. Here are three practical ways families can cope-and even thrive-despite school closures, event cancellations, and a whole lot more time at home with the kids.

1. Create some structure around work and school at home

I'm supposedly working as I write these words, but my high schooler just popped in to see if I knew where his phone charger is (nope). Before that, one of my daughters came in to get the dog and some stamps. I love seeing my kids and having them home, but each interruption breaks my focus. It takes ages for me to get started again; it's so much easier to check my email (or the status of the coronavirus) than to do my actual work.

Clearly we need to get set up a little better now, rather than waiting until we know how long this is going to last (it could be a while) or until we are all at our wits' end (possibly tomorrow). Constant interruptions are a recipe for misery. Not only do they hinder our productivity, but they increase our stress and tension levels in measurable ways.

We can minimize interruptions by carving out specific times and places for each of us to do our work. Our kids need individual work-at-home plans to finish out their semesters. If your kids need supervision and you also need to work from home, find partners (perhaps neighbors if you don't have a coparent) to help you, and set up shifts so that you are either in charge of the kids or working somewhere that minimizes interruptions-but not trying to do both things at the same time.

2. Connect with your clan

Social distancing is painful. We humans need social connections to feel safe. Those of us who live in families have a built-in way to counter the feelings of isolation that social distancing can cause. We can hug our kids and tickle their backs. We can share our meals together-all of them. We can relax and read and watch our shows on the same couch in the same room.

This sort of old-fashioned family time isn't the norm. Before the pandemic, it was more natural to eat lunch alone in front of the computer. Kids today are more likely to watch videos on their devices alone than they are to join the family for an episode of TV. But we'll do well to counter the distancing we're experiencing from our broader school and work communities by deepening our connections to one another at home. Let's not be alone together; let's be together when we're together.

3. Embrace not having somewhere else to be

Although a new form of activity has taken over our lives, something that was previously unimaginable for me has happened: Our family literally has no plans that take place outside of our home.

This has been unsettling. We Americans feel important rushing from one commitment to the next. Busyness makes us feel significant.

But if we don't have time to get enough sleep (or exercise, or cook healthy meals) now, when will we? Let's remember that we don't have to be more productive during this anxious time. This is a time to take good care of ourselves.

Taking care of ourselves can feel indulgent at a time when so many people are sick and when our health care workers and so many others are sacrificing so much. But one of the best things that we can do for others is to take care of ourselves. We can better ward off illness when we are mentally and physically healthy, and this puts us in a much better position to help others.

These are strange, uncertain times. But we'll do well to remember that "life is never made unbearable by circumstances," as Viktor Frankl wisely wrote, "but only by lack of meaning and purpose." This may be the longest "summer" ever-kids may be home for five months!-but let's not forget to find the meaning behind it.

All of this is about helping others: We are trying to slow the spread of a lethal and virulent disease, trying to keep our hospitals from becoming overwhelmed, to keep our doctors from having to make decisions about who lives and who dies. We can welcome school closures, and curb complaining about inconveniences.

Stay home, friends. Stay safe. Help others.

Greater Good wants to know: Do you think this article will influence your opinions or behavior?

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How School Closures Can Strengthen Your Family

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As our kids figure out how to learn online, we can retool in our families, too. Here are three practical ways families can cope-and even thrive-despite school closures, event cancellations, and a whole lot more time at home with the kids.

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Strategies for Supporting Learning at Home

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Strategies for Supporting Learning at Home

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Child Mind Institute

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During the coronavirus crisis, parents and other caregivers have suddenly become responsible for managing their children's education at home. With everyone at home together and teachers facing new challenges too, promoting learning can feel impossible.

At the Child Mind Institute's Learning and Development Center, we know how difficult this situation can be for children of any age. We offer these guidelines and strategies from our experts to help families support their children's education at this time.

Preschoolers:
Tips for Supporting Learning at Home

K-2:
Tips for Supporting Learning at Home

Grades 3-6:
Tips for Supporting Learning at Home

Grades 7-9:
Tips for Supporting Learning at Home

Grades 10-12:
Tips for Supporting Learning at Home
College Students: Tips for Supporting Learning at Home All Ages: Guide to Family Resources for Remote Learning

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Strategies for Supporting Learning at Home | Child Mind Institute

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During the coronavirus crisis, parents and other caregivers have suddenly become responsible for managing their children's education at home. With everyone at home together and teachers facing new challenges too, promoting learning can feel impossible. At the Child Mind Institute's Learning and Development Center, we know how difficult this situation can be for children of any ...

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NYTimes

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Keeping your own anxiety in check is key.

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Credit... Lucy Jones

This article was last updated on March 13, 2020, and is no longer being updated. This is a fast-moving situation, so some information may be outdated. For the latest updates, read The New York Times's live coronavirus coverage here.

By now, your children may have heard about the new coronavirus, whether it's from a snippet of a news briefing or from other kids at school. They may have family members who have been quarantined here because of recent international travel, or they may even know someone who is sick. "My patients are scared," said Dr. Nia Heard-Garris, M.D., an attending physician at the Ann and Robert H. Lurie Children's Hospital of Chicago.

So what should you tell kids about the coronavirus, and how? We spoke to a pediatrician, two psychologists, a pediatric infectious disease specialist and a safety expert for their best tips.
[The topics parents are talking about. Evidence-based guidance. Personal stories that matter. Sign up now to get NYT Parenting in your inbox every week.]
Dr. Heard-Garris said that you should start the conversation by asking what your child has heard about the virus. If they've heard that people all over the world are dying, and the Grim Reaper is coming for us, too, that's a very different conversation than if they've just heard it's like the flu, Dr. Heard-Garris said.

If your child is under 6 and has not heard about the virus yet, you may not want to bring it up, as it may introduce unnecessary anxiety, said Abi Gewirtz, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and professor at the University of Minnesota, and the author of the forthcoming book "When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids."

Make sure "you're not panicking in their presence around the topic," said Dunya Poltorak, Ph.D., a pediatric medical psychologist in private practice in Birmingham, Mich. "Your demeanor is going to stir this massive pot of anxiety." So try to process any fears you may have before you talk to your children, whether it's by talking to a friend, a partner or a therapist. "We don't want our children to feel like the world is so scary," said Dr. Gewirtz, because that might keep them from being curious and engaged.

If your child is afraid because some kid on the bus told him he might die, that's a real fear and you should take it seriously, Dr. Gewirtz said. If you simply tell the child, "You'll be fine," they might not feel heard. "Listen to them and track what the child is feeling," she said. You can say something in a calm voice like, "That sounds pretty scary, I can see it in your face." You can also relay an anecdote from your own childhood about a time when you were scared. Then, after the child has calmed down, perhaps over dinner, you can bring up coronavirus again.

If you are talking to your young child about the virus, you can say something like, "There's lots of different viruses, like when your tummy hurts, or sometimes when you have a bad cold. Coronavirus is another type of virus," Dr. Poltorak said.

Depending on how old your child is and how much they know, you might also say something like, "This illness is different than a cold because it's new, but people are trying really hard to make sure it doesn't spread, and they treat people who are sick. If you ever have questions, talk to me," Dr. Heard-Garris said. You can also say, "Scientists and really smart people all around the world are trying to figure out how to keep people safe and healthy."

This comic, from Malaka Gharib, is also a great resource to show kids who are in the early elementary years.

Make sure your kids are washing their hands for at least 20 seconds before and after meals, after they go to the bathroom, after they come in from outside and after they've blown their nose or put their hands in their mouth, said Dr. Rebecca Pellett Madan, M.D., a pediatric infectious disease specialist at N.Y.U. Langone's Hassenfeld Children's Hospital. Children should sing "Happy Birthday" twice to know how long to wash their hands, and then make sure they are drying them thoroughly. Hand sanitizers may be less effective for small children, Dr. Madan said, because they need to evaporate fully to kill all the germs, and little kids may be rushing off to touch toys or other kids before the sanitizer has dried. For people of all ages, hand washing is preferable to hand sanitizer, though sanitizer is a decent option if hand washing is not possible.

Several experts recommended making hand washing into a game. "You can even make it into a competition," said Judith Matloff, who teaches conflict reporting at Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism and is the author of the upcoming book "How to Drag a Body and Other Safety Tips You Hope to Never Need: Survival Tricks for Hacking, Hurricanes and Hazards Life Might Throw at You." Compete with your kids to see who can wash their hands the longest, or who can make the suds the biggest.

If you have a little nose picker, Dr. Madan suggested saying something like, "Do you remember when your friend was out sick last week? Being sick is part of being human, but when you're picking your nose, you can get boogers on your fingers and they can spread germs to your friends." She also recommended an episode of the show "Ask the StoryBots" on Netflix called "How Do People Catch a Cold?" for an age-appropriate explanation for little kids about how germs work.

Dr. Poltorak recommended saying something like, "There's lots of icky bugs going around and we're going to hang tight at home so they can clean the schools out." Try to frame it as a positive - more time at home where we can have fun! - rather than something to fear, especially among the youngest children. Matloff also suggested preparing now for potential closures by shopping for new games, books and arts and crafts supplies.

Try to maintain a routine as much as you possibly can. Rebecca Kanthor, a Shanghai-based reporter, wrote a piece for us about what life is like under coronavirus quarantine in China. In addition to keeping a routine, experts recommend making sure your kids get enough exercise. Matloff suggested having your kids keep a quarantine journal, where they can write or draw their thoughts and experiences, which can help keep them occupied and process their anxiety.

Finally, several experts recommended that you try to enjoy the time together as much as you can, without losing your mind. "With few distractions, I'm reminded how much I should cherish these moments together," Kanthor wrote. "I will, I promise - after I'm done hiding out in the bathroom."
[How, and when, to talk about the news with your kids.

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Keeping your own anxiety in check is key. This article was last updated on March 13, 2020, and is no longer being updated. This is a fast-moving situation, so some information may be outdated. For the latest updates, read The New York Times's live coronavirus coverage here.

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Resources on Managing Feelings, Fears and Worries about COVID-19

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Resources on Managing Feelings, Fears and Worries about COVID-19

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International School Counseling Association

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Parenting During Coronavirus: You Are Enough

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Parenting During Coronavirus: You Are Enough

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PBS

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Parenting During Coronavirus: You Are Enough | Parenting Tips & Advice

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I’ve never parented during a pandemic before. The best thing we can do right now is remind ourselves that for our kids, we are enough.

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Navigate social distancing and school closures with quality media and at-home learning opportunities for your kids.

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Navigate social distancing and school closures with quality media and at-home learning opportunities for your kids.

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Common Sense Media

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Wide Open School's mission lives on at Common Sense

With schools back in person, we have closed this dedicated distance-learning site designed to guide families and educators through the sudden shift to remote learning.
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Wide Open School's mission lives on at Common Sense With schools back in person, we have closed this dedicated distance-learning site designed to guide families and educators through the sudden shift to remote learning. Discover More Great Resources for Families & Educators

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Screen Time During the Coronavirus Crisis

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Screen Time During the Coronavirus Crisis

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Child Mind Institute

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For many families, screen time is a touchy subject even in the best of times. Now, with parents and kids holed up together 24/7 and everything from school to birthday parties taking place online, it's even harder to know how to put boundaries on your child's screen time.

To support remote learning, many schools are distributing laptops or tablets for each student, so access to screens has increased in many households. Plus, you may be working from home without your usual childcare supports, which leaves you with less time to keep tabs on your kids' screen use.

Given all these unusual stressors, there's no right answer when it comes to managing screen time during the coronavirus crisis. But our experts have some tips to help you set expectations, support your child and - maybe most important of all! - cut yourself some slack.

Set boundaries - when you can

Right now, limits on screen time will probably look a lot different than they once did. Start by acknowledging - to your kids and to yourself - that with school and socializing happening online, increased screen time is unavoidable. But there are still techniques you can use to maintain boundaries:

Start with compassion. With so much in flux right now, unstructured screen time is an important source of comfort and entertainment for many kids. Letting your kids know that you understand their needs is a simple way to reduce stress for everyone. "You can say to your kids, 'Look, I know you need a break. I know you need to relax,'" says Dave Anderson, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. "Let them know that a certain portion of their screen time is theirs to do what they like with."

Offer additional screen time as a bonus. Try using extra screen time as an incentive for good behavior. If you go this route, be sure to let your child know exactly what is necessary to earn the extra time. You and your child can even write down the goal together and post it in their workspace as a reminder.

Keep a schedule. It can also be helpful to set specific times of the day or week when your kids know they'll be allowed to use their screens. For instance, maybe the 30 minutes before dinner are always open for screen time. That kind of structure helps kids know what to expect and cuts down on their requests for screens at other times. Plus, it gives you space to schedule other tasks at a time when you know your children will be busy.

Stay the course. Once you set up a system, you may find that your kids push back against it. "Maybe they'll be moody for the first few days," Dr. Anderson says. "They'll ask you a thousand times, they'll get angry. That's what's called an extinction burst." Dr. Anderson explains that it's natural for children to test new boundaries to see if they're firm, but if you can stick to your plan and tolerate their irritation for a few days, pushback will likely fade as kids settle into their new routines.

Model healthy screen use. Now more than ever, it's helpful to lead by example. If you make a point of setting aside your own screens during set times, your children will be more likely to do the same without putting up a fight. Plus, taking breaks from tech has the added benefit of helping you limit your own media intake and giving you moments of mindfulness with your kids.

Prioritize wellness

Another way of thinking about screen time is to look at how your child is spending their time in general. Dr. Anderson suggests that parents use the idea of a "developmental checklist" to consider whether a child is engaged in activities important for healthy development. If they are, Dr. Anderson says, "you've got a pretty busy kid," and so screen time isn't likely to be a problem. Before the coronavirus crisis, the checklist might have included things like spending time with friends, keeping up with schoolwork, and participating in extracurriculars. Now, the specifics will look different, but you can still use the same idea to assess whether your child is spending too much time on screens. Ask yourself:

Is my child sleeping enough and eating a somewhat balanced diet?

Are they getting some form of exercise every day?

Are they getting some quality time with family?

Do they use some screen time to keep in touch with friends?

Are they invested in schoolwork and keeping up with homework?

If you can answer yes to most of those questions, then it's probably not a huge deal if your child is getting some extra screen time these days.

Emphasize social connections

When it comes to limiting time on screens, there's one important exception: social connections. Dr. Anderson recommends taking advantage of technology to stay connected with friends and family, even if doing so means your child spends a little more time on screens than you typically allow.

Connect with family. "The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time for kids under the age of two - except for FaceTiming with relatives," Dr. Anderson says. "FaceTime with family during this time may be a source of connection for you, and it may also provide a way of maintaining relationships, especially for young kids." Setting your children up to chat with relatives can also give you a chance to relax or get other things done, which can benefit the whole family.

Be creative. Work with your child to come up with fun ways to connect with friends online. A Zoom graduation party might not be quite like the real thing, but it's still a way to help your child feel close to peers and loved ones during social distancing. Maybe your child and their friends would enjoy setting up their screens in the kitchen and baking together or watching a movie together while texting about it. Remember that online games can also offer genuine social connection for kids, so it might make sense to rethink your usual rules about gaming.

Consider your child's usual social schedule. Thinking back on your child's regular social life before coronavirus can be a good way to figure out how much social screen time makes sense. For instance, if your child used to chat with friends at school and then have a playdate on Saturday, maybe it makes sense for them to spend short bursts of time talking with friends during the week and schedule a bigger activity for the weekend.

Be present for your child

The kind of content your child interacts with is just as important as how much time they're spending on screens. To ensure that your child is spending their newly expanded screen time in appropriate ways, the best strategy is often to check in frequently and connect with your child over the things they're interested in.

Get insight into gaming. If you're concerned about a game your child likes to play, it's helpful to sit down with your child and watch them play. "The key is that you have to really monitor what you say," Dr. Anderson says. "Try to avoid criticizing the game or reminding your child of the next thing they have to do after gaming, and also try to avoid asking a ton of questions. Instead, just try to comment on what you're seeing onscreen." If your child explains something to you, you can also reflect it back to show you're paying attention. That way, your child will get the message that you're genuinely interested in the game and will be more likely to invite you into what they're doing.

Play with your child. Playing the games your child enjoys yourself can give you even deeper insight into what they're doing with their screen time. Plus, kids often love to show off their skills and will enjoy teaching you something you don't know. You might even introduce your kids to favorite games from your own past! By playing together, you'll show your child that you don't think games are evil and that you understand how they can be a tool for bonding.

Encourage exploration. If your children tend to play the same games or watch the same shows over and over, try introducing some healthy new activities into their online diet. If they're reluctant, consider joining them in checking out a new game together - your positive attention might be the incentive they need. The Child Mind Institute has an extensive list of creative and educational online activities you can use to mix up your child's screen time routine.

Go easy on yourself - and your kids

As with so many aspects of life during the coronavirus crisis, it's impossible for anyone to be the perfect parent right now. "This is not a time for strict limits," Dr. Anderson says. If relaxing rules around screens gives you time to work, exercise, or do whatever else you need to do, accept that that may be the best decision right now. "If you can give yourself a B minus at the end of the day, with a few meltdowns from your kids but everyone's fed and getting some sleep, you're doing pretty well," says Dr. Anderson. Right now, having compassion for yourself and your family is much more important than getting the rules just right.

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Screen Time During the Coronavirus Crisis | Child Mind Institute

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For many families, screen time is a touchy subject even in the best of times. Now, with parents and kids holed up together 24/7 and everything from school to birthday parties taking place online, it's even harder to know how to put boundaries on your child's screen time.

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CNN and Sesame Street will host a special coronavirus town hall for kids and parents

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CNN and Sesame Street will host a special coronavirus town hall for kids and parents

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CNN

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cnn and sesame street will host a special coronavirus town hall for kids and parents on saturday morning - cnn

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CNN and Sesame Street will host a special coronavirus town hall for kids and parents

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CNN is teaming up with Sesame Street for a special town hall Saturday morning at 9 a.m. ET about coronavirus, focused on kids and parents. The ABC's of Covid 19: A CNN / Sesame Street Town Hall for Kids and Parents will tackle issues including education, anxiety, screen time, and play dates, and will feature experts and Sesame Street Characters -- including Elmo, Abby and Grover -- answering questions submitted by families.

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Coronavirus Parenting: Managing Anger and Frustration

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Coronavirus Parenting: Managing Anger and Frustration

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Child Mind Institute

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We know we're not supposed to yell at our children. But parents are very stressed at the moment, and frustration and anger are inevitable. Overwhelmed with everything you've been asked to do, you find yourself losing your temper at kids who aren't on their best behavior either. But when your circumstances aren't normal, your parenting won't be normal.

Right after many schools and workplaces were closed, there was a push for parents to see the coronavirus crisis as an opportunity, not to waste this extra time with their kids, says Stephanie Lee, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. "Parents were encouraged to organize their kids' closets, work on their math skills, etc., but realistically, that's just absurd. It's more important to just get through this and manage the best you can in a less-than-ideal situation."

It's time to lower our expectations. You won't be able to do as much as you usually can as a parent, employee or partner. Instead, experts recommend focusing on your and your children's emotional state and strive to maintain positive family dynamics.

"If you do nothing academically and just focus on your relationship with your children, then it will be time well spent," explains Rebecca Schrag Hershberg, PhD, a clinical psychologist and parenting coach. "Kids can't learn if they're not feeling safe and loved. If there's a strain in the connections at home, and it feels very tense and miserable, your child's brain isn't going to take in what they're learning because they're stressed and angry. Your relationship is the precursor for everything else falling into place."

There are so many parenting struggles at the moment, and staying calm isn't always easy. Here are ways to manage some of the most challenging issues.

You're doing a lot of yelling
My kids were at each other's throats all day. Around 3:00 p.m., they were screaming at each other again, and it hit my Very. Last. Nerve. With my palms pressed tight to my ears and angry tears, I started screaming at them!
"Let's be honest," says Dr. Lee. "It's not as though parents didn't yell at their kids before. But since things are more stressful right now, parents need to be extra conscious of their own big three: diet/nutrition, activity level and sleep. They impact our mood, as well as our ability to problem solve, stay calm, concentrate and focus. If any of those things are really off, which is likely right now, it can have a major impact on your ability to be your best self."

When you do lose your cool, Michelle Kaplan, LCSW, a clinical social worker at the Child Mind Institute, advises that you wait to apologize until everyone has calmed down. Be honest with your kids and tell them if you're tired, hungry, struggling or overwhelmed. Apologize for your bad language and let them know you will work hard to do better. You can even involve your kids in some problem solving about what can be done differently next time.

Everyone needs your help at the same time
I feel like I'm a teacher, principal, cruise director, laundress, janitor, chef and servant all at the same time.
What parents are being asked to do is impossible, so you need to prioritize. Most importantly, make sure everyone is safe and their basic needs are met. Next, determine what you and your children can realistically accomplish daily, and then try to structure everyone's days so you're not overwhelmed. This may mean that each child eats and/or does their schoolwork at different times.

"A lot of schools are giving work that's unrealistic - it's just not going to happen, and that's okay," says Kaplan. "Teachers understand. Every family has to determine what is actually possible today. If it's only one out of the five things on the list, then that's fine. There will be a lot of trial and error as you learn what your kids need and how much you can help them."

You're throwing tantrums
I found myself in the middle of an attitude war with my mini-me four-year-old son. I was even sticking out my tongue at him, and not in a cute, light-hearted way. He did the same, and it continued longer than I care to admit. I was trying to punish my son, but he wouldn't give me his computer. So I went into his room and took a stack of books from his dresser and threw them off, creating quite the commotion. He came bounding up the stairs, shocked by the noise. He was stunned. I used that moment to bolt downstairs and grab his computer!
Sharing your mishaps and even finding the humor in them is important, especially right now. But we know it's our job to model appropriate behavior. Once you begin to throw a tantrum, it's hard to rein it in, so plan in advance. For example, when you feel yourself getting upset, take some quiet time to yourself - even if it's just five minutes in the bathroom.

When you can, it's also helpful to be proactive about recharging. Scheduling small amounts of time to do things you especially enjoy can be a way to head off your own frustration before it starts. Try setting aside 15 minutes for reading, exercise, a creative project, or whatever else helps you feel centered. Remembering that this time is there for you can be a source of calm in especially challenging moments.

And sometimes you need to ask for help.

"Life isn't about how you manage Plan A, it's about how you cope with Plan B," Dr. Lee notes. "Right now, we're in Plan B, and we're almost at Plan C. We need to make sure that we're modeling the behavior we want back. But we should also model reaching out for help when we need it. The absence of pleasant activities makes it hard to be your best self when stressful events or situations occur. Think about who you regularly turn to. Can you call your extended family or schedule a Zoom happy hour with friends?"

Your kids can't sleep and they want to get in your bed
Once I put my kids to bed, I'm done for the day. I have no patience left, and I often yell at them when they can't sleep.
Sleep regressions are normal in times of uncertainty or a change in routine. Even with regular bedtime rituals and good sleep hygiene, kids of all ages may struggle to fall asleep - they need their parents more than usual right now.

"If we look at it from their perspective, we are their safe place," says Dr. Hershberg. "We are the person from whom they seek reassurance, and they may still need us after the clock strikes nine. Your kids want extra connections with you, and there's plenty of reason to shift habits and let them sleep with you if that feels okay to you. If not, think about how you can give them what they need. Maybe it's extra hugs and cuddles right before bed or giving them something special of yours to sleep with. Or, maybe it's promising to check on them every 15 minutes as long as they're quiet."

For children who are anxious, use this time to teach when to worry, which is never right before bed. Give them time to discuss their worries every morning or afternoon. Before bed, engage in positive conversations about great memories, things they like or what they plan to do tomorrow.

Your kids aren't technologically savvy
"I feel like I've become one of the jerky guys from my office IT department that always made everyone feel horrible for wasting his time with their inane requests."
Children are struggling to log on, use a mouse correctly, manage the various apps, or even send an email. Staying in your Zen space until they get it is difficult. Consider your child's position.

"If your kids don't know how to use the computer, it's the equivalent of you being asked to suddenly learn everything in Japanese without knowing how to speak the language," Dr. Hershberg explains. "And, the teacher is impatient because you don't understand their native language. We can have compassion for both. It's the same idea with you and your child - can you foster a spirit of compassion and self-compassion?"

To alleviate your frustration, set aside some time to review the technology together so you can teach your children the skills and programs they need. Kaplan recommends you also work through worst-case scenarios. Create a list of common computer problems and ask your child what they worry could go wrong. Create a plan of what they can do if the problem occurs, then write it down. Think of it as building independence.

Reduce stress by celebrating successes, no matter how small

No matter how someone tries to spin it, this is a difficult time. Even the parents posting color-coded charts and complicated craft projects on social media are struggling. Remind yourself that you're a good parent who is doing the best you can in a very difficult situation by celebrating the small victories each day.

"Make a daily list of what you did well," advises Dr. Lee. "Did we all get dressed or half-dressed? Did everyone bathe today? Did we get half of our work done and then go on a family walk? Those are all victories."

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Coronavirus Parenting: Managing Anger and Frustration | Child Mind Institute

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We know we're not supposed to yell at our children. But parents are very stressed at the moment, and frustration and anger are inevitable. Overwhelmed with everything you've been asked to do, you find yourself losing your temper at kids who aren't on their best behavior either.

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Psychology Today

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Every worry-prone child I've ever worked with has had an exceptionally vivid imagination. These kids are masters at conjuring vivid mental pictures of possible terrible events. Then they fret endlessly, replaying those pictures in their minds, unable to tear their mental eyes away from the imagined potential disaster.

The worry images kids create are scary! So, they try hard not to think them, but that only makes those thoughts pop up more frequently and more intensely.

Some children also think that if anything bad might happen, they have to worry about it. They say, "I can't stop worrying!" but part of them believes that this worrying is useful and necessary. If they fret constantly, maybe somehow magically they can cause the scary thing not to happen.

Reassurance can make worries grow

Worries are "What if?" thoughts. When children say them aloud, parents tend to respond with reassurance. "Don't worry. That's not going to happen."

Sometimes reassurance helps. Your child might not know something or might not understand something and clearing up the facts or making a plan can ease your child's concerns.

If reassurance is going to work, it will work right away. But worry-prone kids are rarely satisfied with a quick bit of reassurance.

For anxious kids, reassurance might bring two seconds of relief, but then the worries come back even harder. You can't guarantee that nothing bad will ever happen, and they can always come up with another, "But what if...?" So they keep asking, and asking, and asking...

Reassurance-seeking can quickly fall into a negative spiral. The more parents say, "It's fine. Don't worry!" the more anxious kids demand, "But what if...?"

Using imagination to counter children's worries

Here's a simple strategy that may help your worried child let go of scary worry images:

Rather than trying to reassure your child, one coping strategy is to help your child vividly imagine other possibilities. For example, if your child says, "What if everyone makes fun of me because of my haircut?" ask, "What if that doesn't happen? What would that look like?"

When I've done this with children in my practice, they tend to give me a startled blink and a slightly confused expression. It hasn't occurred to them to imagine anything except terrible disaster!

The key to this strategy is to bring in additional images to counter the scary one. Realistic images will probably work better than overly positive ones.

Sometimes kids need a little help coming up with alternative images. So, in the haircut situation, you might say something like:

What if they don't notice your haircut?

What if they say, 'Oh, you got a haircut,' but they're not very interested, so then they just keep doing what they were doing?

What if they say, 'Nice haircut,' and then just keep doing what they were doing?

Encourage your child to imagine the nondisastrous possibilities even harder than the disastrous one. Your child's imagination may contribute to worries, but it can also be a means to quiet those worries. Being able to imagine nondisastrous situations makes the disastrous one seem less likely.

With practice, children can become better at coming up with their own "What if it doesn't (or didn't) happen?" scenarios in response to worries.

Managing your own worries

This strategy can also be useful for parents. I worked with a mom once whose son was on a driving trip with some friends and didn't call her at the scheduled time. The first thought that popped into her head was, "What if he died in a car accident?!?" That would be terrible!

Fortunately, she'd learned the "What if it didn't happen?" technique, and she vividly imagined him 1) forgetting to charge his cell phone, 2) losing track of time because he was sitting around chatting over lunch with his friends, or 3) making a last-minute decision to do something fun with his friends and accidentally leaving his cell phone behind. These alternative images were all more likely than the car accident, so they helped her manage her anxiety until her son called. Yes, he was fine. Lunch had run long.
Related posts: Why Kids Often Don't Speak Up Against Bullying Conversation Skills For Kids Helping Your Shy Child
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Every worry-prone child I've ever worked with has had an exceptionally vivid imagination. These kids are masters at conjuring vivid mental pictures of possible terrible events. Then they fret endlessly, replaying those pictures in their minds, unable to tear their mental eyes away from the imagined potential disaster.

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How to Get Your Kids to Treat You Like Their Teacher

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How to Get Your Kids to Treat You Like Their Teacher

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NYTimes

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How to Get Your Kids to Treat You Like Their Teacher

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Here's how to create a space and habits that keep kids engaged with schoolwork at home.

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How to stay creative and keep your family sane during lockdown – from one of the world’s best teachers

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How to stay creative and keep your family sane during lockdown – from one of the world’s best teachers

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World Economic Forum

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Arts and Culture

Thousands of classrooms all over the world remain empty, due t the COVID-19 pandemic. Image: REUTERS/Anushree Fadnavis

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Andria Zafirakou was awarded the Global Teacher Prize in 2018 and is a World Economic Forum Cultural Leader. Image: Flickr/World Economic Forum

The coronavirus is keeping millions of children out of school. Image: Statista

Andria Zafirakou with students at Alperton Community School in London. Image: The Times

Zafirakou says it's important to limit screen time while children are learning at home.

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How to stay creative and keep your family sane during lockdown - from one of the world's best teachers

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Arts and Culture Thousands of classrooms all over the world remain empty, due t the COVID-19 pandemic. Image: REUTERS/Anushree Fadnavis Senior Writer, Forum Agenda Stay up to date: Arts and Culture Follow Andria Zafirakou was awarded the Global Teacher Prize in 2018 and is a World Economic Forum Cultural Leader.

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Avoid Cabin Fever With These 125 Ideas to Keep Kids Entertained During the Coronavirus Crisis 

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Avoid Cabin Fever With These 125 Ideas to Keep Kids Entertained During the Coronavirus Crisis 

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You're Welcome! Here Are 125 Ideas to Keep Kids Entertained When You're Out of Ideas

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Here are 125 fun things to do with your family. These kid ideas and fun activities for kids stuck at home will help you all avoid cabin fever.

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Coronavirus (COVID-19): How to Talk to Your Child

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Coronavirus (COVID-19): How to Talk to Your Child

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Looking for information about coronavirus (COVID-19)? Our articles and videos explain what the virus is, ways to prevent it from spreading, how to talk to kids about it, how to care for someone who is sick, and much more.

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How to Talk to Your Kids About Coronavirus

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How to Talk to Your Kids About Coronavirus

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By Deborah Farmer

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How to Talk to Your Kids About Coronavirus | Parenting Tips & Advice

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With coronavirus being a concern for grown ups, kids might also be worrying. Here's how to talk about COVID-19 with your young children, plus ways to practice healthy habits all year round.

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Coronavirus: Creativity, kindness and canals offer hope amid outbreak

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Coronavirus: Creativity, kindness and canals offer hope amid outbreak

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BBC

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We appreciate that these are dark times for people around the world, as the coronavirus continues to spread. Numbers of infections and fatalities are rising, cities and even countries are shutting and many people are being forced into isolation. But amid all the worrying news, there have also been reasons to find hope.

1. Pollution drops

As countries go into lockdown over the virus, there have been significant drops in pollution levels.

Both China and northern Italy have recorded major falls in nitrogen dioxide - a serious air pollutant and powerful warming chemical - amid reduced industrial activity and car journeys.

Researchers in New York also told the BBC that early results showed carbon monoxide, mainly from cars, had been reduced by nearly 50% compared with last year.

And with airlines cancelling flights en masse and millions working from home, countries around the world are expected to follow this downward path.

2. Canals go clear

On a similar note, residents of Venice have noticed a vast improvement in the water quality of the famous canals running through the city.

The streets of the popular tourist destination in northern Italy have emptied amid the outbreak leading to a drastic drop in water traffic, which has allowed sediment to settle.

The usually murky water has gone so clear that fish can even be seen.

3. Acts of kindness

There are plenty of stories of panic buying and fights over toilet roll and tins, but the virus has also spurred acts of kindness around the world.

Two New Yorkers amassed 1,300 volunteers in 72 hours to deliver groceries and medicine to elderly and vulnerable people in the city.

Facebook said hundreds of thousands of people in the UK had joined local support groups set up for the virus, while similar groups have been formed in Canada, sparking a trend there known as "caremongering".

Supermarkets in Australia are among those to create a special "elderly hour" so older shoppers and those with disabilities have a chance to shop in peace.

People have also donated money, shared recipe and exercise ideas, sent uplifting messages to self-isolating elderly people and transformed businesses into food distribution centres.

4. A united front

Between a hectic work and home life it is often easy to feel disconnected from those around you. As the virus affects us all, it has brought many communities around the world closer together.

In Italy, where a countrywide lockdown is in place, people have joined together on their balconies for morale-boosting songs.

A fitness instructor in southern Spain led an exercise class from a low roof in the middle of an apartment complex, which residents in isolation joined from their balconies.

Many people have used the opportunity to reconnect with friends and loved ones over phone or video calls, while groups of friends have organised virtual clubbing or pub sessions using mobile apps (including those of us in the BBC who are working from home).

The virus has also highlighted the importance of health workers and other people working in key services. Thousands of Europeans have taken to their balconies and windows to applaud the doctors and nurses fighting the virus, while medical students in London have volunteered to help healthcare professionals with childcare and household chores.

5. A creativity boom

With millions of people now stuck in isolation, many are using the opportunity to get creative.

Social media users have shared details of their new hobbies, including reading, baking, knitting and painting.

The DC Public Library in Washington is among those hosting a virtual book club, while Italian Michelin-starred chef Massimo Bottura has launched an Instagram series called Kitchen Quarantine, teaching basic recipes to aspiring foodies who are stuck at home.

An art teacher in the US state of Tennessee has been live-streaming classes for children who are out of school, inspiring them to get creative at home.

And while many public spaces have been shut, art fans have been making the most of virtual tours offered by the world's biggest galleries, observing the famous paintings of the Louvre in Paris and the classic sculptures of the Vatican museum from their living rooms.

Australia's Sydney Observatory offered a tour of the night sky for people stuck at home.

On Monday, we're going to bring you a day of live coverage focusing on the positive stories, like these, that are emerging from the coronavirus crisis. We hope you can join us from 07:00 GMT.

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Coronavirus: Creativity, kindness and canals offer hope amid outbreak

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We appreciate that these are dark times for people around the world, as the coronavirus continues to spread. Numbers of infections and fatalities are rising, cities and even countries are shutting and many people are being forced into isolation. But amid all the worrying news, there have also been reasons to find hope.

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Coronavirus disease (COVID-19): What parents should know

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Coronavirus disease (COVID-19): What parents should know

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UNICEF

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< Back to UNICEF COVID-19 portal

What is a 'novel' coronavirus?

A novel coronavirus (CoV) is a new strain of coronavirus.

The disease caused by the novel coronavirus first identified in Wuhan, China, has been named coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) - 'CO' stands for corona, 'VI' for virus, and 'D' for disease. Formerly, this disease was referred to as '2019 novel coronavirus' or '2019-nCoV.'

The COVID-19 virus is a new virus linked to the same family of viruses as Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) and some types of common cold.

Characterizing COVID-19 as a pandemic is not an indication that the virus has become deadlier. Rather, it's an acknowledgement of the disease's geographical spread.

UNICEF has been preparing and responding to the epidemic of COVID-19 around the world, knowing that the virus could spread to children and families in any country or community. UNICEF will continue working with governments and our partners to stop transmission of the virus, and to keep children and their families safe.

How does the COVID-19 virus spread?

The virus is transmitted through direct contact with respiratory droplets of an infected person (generated through coughing and sneezing), and touching surfaces contaminated with the virus. The COVID-19 virus may survive on surfaces for a few hours to several days, but simple disinfectants can kill it. Studies to date suggest that the virus that causes COVID-19 is mainly transmitted through contact with respiratory droplets, rather than through the air.

What are the symptoms of coronavirus?

Symptoms can include fever, cough and shortness of breath. In more severe cases, infection can cause pneumonia or breathing difficulties. More rarely, the disease can be fatal.

These symptoms are similar to the flu (influenza) or the common cold, which are a lot more common than COVID-19. This is why testing is required to confirm if someone has COVID-19. It's important to remember that key prevention measures are the same - frequent hand washing, and respiratory hygiene (cover your cough or sneeze with a flexed elbow or tissue, then throw away the tissue into a closed bin). Also, there is a vaccine for the flu - so remember to keep yourself and your child up to date with vaccinations.

How can I protect myself and others from COVID-19?

Here are some precautions you and your family can take to help avoid infection:

What is the best way to wash hands properly?

Step 1: Wet hands with running water

Step 2: Apply enough soap to cover wet hands

Step 3: Scrub all surfaces of the hands - including back of hands, between fingers and under nails - for at least 20 seconds.

Step 4: Rinse thoroughly with running water

Step 5: Dry hands with a clean cloth or single-use towel

Wash your hands often, especially before eating; after blowing your nose, coughing, or sneezing; and going to the bathroom.

If soap and water are not readily available, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol. Always wash hands with soap and water, if hands are visibly dirty.

Should I wear a medical mask?

The use of a medical mask is advised if you have respiratory symptoms (coughing or sneezing) to protect others. If you don't have any symptoms, then there is no need to wear a mask.

If masks are worn, they must be used and disposed of properly to ensure their effectiveness and to avoid any increased risk of transmitting the virus.

The use of a mask alone is not enough to stop infections and must be combined with frequent hand washing, covering sneezes and coughs, and avoiding close contact with anyone with cold or flu-like symptoms (coughing, sneezing, fever).

Does COVID-19 affect children?

This is a new virus and we do not know enough yet about how it affects children or pregnant women. We know it is possible for people of any age to be infected and transmit the virus, although older people and/or those with pre-existing medical conditions seem more likely to develop serious illness. Children may be disproportionately affected by measures taken to control the outbreak, such as school closures and physical distancing measures. Special attention needs to be paid to prevent and minimize negative consequences for children as much as possible.

What should I do if my child has symptoms of COVID-19?

Seek medical attention, but remember that it's flu season in the Northern Hemisphere, and symptoms of COVID-19 such as cough or fever can be similar to those of the flu, or the common cold - which are a lot more frequent.

Continue to follow good hand and respiratory hygiene practices like regular handwashing, and keep your child up to date with vaccinations - so that your child is protected against other viruses and bacteria causing diseases.

As with other respiratory infections like the flu, seek care early if you or your child are having symptoms, and try to avoid going to public places (workplace, schools, public transport), to prevent it spreading to others.

What should I do if a family member displays symptoms?

You should seek medical care early if you or your child has a fever, cough or difficulty breathing. Consider calling ahead to tell your health care provider if you have traveled to an area where COVID-19 has been reported, or if you have been in close contact with someone with who has traveled from one of these areas and has respiratory symptoms.

Should I take my child out of school?

If your child shows symptoms of COVID-19, seek medical care, and follow the instructions from the health care provider. Otherwise, as with other respiratory infections like the flu, keep your child well rested at home while symptomatic, and avoid going to public places, to prevent spread to others.

When possible, it's best to keep your child in class. However, it is important to follow the guidance of your local and national authorities. If national and/or local authorities have suspended classes, follow school and other official guidance on how to best ensure your children can continue with their education. It's also important to ensure appropriate supervision for children who are out of school, to allow for continued education and also for their protection - from COVID-19, but also other potential threats they may face when left unsupervised.

If your child is staying at home because of school closures, continue teaching him or her good hand and respiratory hygiene practices, like frequent handwashing, covering coughs or sneezes with a flexed elbow or tissue, then throwing away the tissue into a closed bin, not touching their eyes, mouths or noses if they haven't properly washed their hands (click here for tips on proper handwashing), and avoiding close contact with anyone with cold/flu-like symptoms.

What precautions should I take for my family if we travel?

Anyone planning a trip should always follow local and national guidance on whether it is advisable to travel. Those traveling should check the advisory for their destination for any restrictions on entry, quarantine requirements on entry, or other relevant travel advice. Follow the same personal protection measures during travel as you would at home.

In addition to taking standard travel precautions, and in order to avoid being quarantined or denied re-entry into your home country, you are also advised to check the latest COVID-19 update on the International Air Transport Association website, which includes a list of countries and restriction measures.

While traveling, all parents should follow standard hygiene measures for themselves and their children: Wash hands frequently or use an alcohol-based sanitizer with at least 60 per cent alcohol, practice good respiratory hygiene (cover your mouth and nose with your bent elbow or tissue when you cough or sneeze and immediately dispose of the used tissue) and avoid close contact with anyone who is coughing or sneezing. In addition, it is recommended that parents always carry a hand sanitizer, pack of disposable tissues, and disinfecting wipes.

Additional recommendations include: Clean your seat, armrest, touchscreen, etc. with a disinfecting wipe once inside an aircraft or other vehicle. Also use a disinfecting wipe to clean key surfaces, doorknobs, remote controls, etc at the hotel or other accommodation where you and your children are staying.

Can pregnant women pass coronavirus to unborn children?

At this time, there is not enough evidence to determine whether the virus is transmitted from a mother to her baby during pregnancy, or the potential impact this may have on the baby. This is currently being investigated. Pregnant women should continue to follow appropriate precautions to protect themselves from exposure to the virus, and seek medical care early, if experiencing symptoms, such as fever, cough or difficulty breathing.

Is it safe for a mother to breastfeed if she is infected with coronavirus?

All mothers in affected and at-risk areas who have symptoms of fever, cough or difficulty breathing, should seek medical care early, and follow instructions from a health care provider.

Considering the benefits of breastfeeding and the insignificant role of breastmilk in the transmission of other respiratory viruses, the mother can continue breastfeeding, while applying all the necessary precautions.

For symptomatic mothers well enough to breastfeed, this includes wearing a mask when near a child (including during feeding), washing hands before and after contact with the child (including feeding), and cleaning/disinfecting contaminated surfaces - as should be done in all cases where anyone with confirmed or suspected COVID-19 interacts with others, including children.

If a mother is too ill, she should be encouraged to express milk and give it to the child via a clean cup and/or spoon - all while following the same infection prevention methods.

I'm worried about bullying, discrimination and stigmatization. What's the best way to talk about what's happening?

It's understandable if you're feeling worried about the coronavirus. But fear and stigma make a difficult situation worse. For example, there are reports emerging from around the world of individuals, particularly of Asian descent, being subject to verbal or even physical abuse.

Public health emergencies are stressful times for everyone affected. It's important to stay informed and to be kind and supportive to each other. Words matter, and using language that perpetuates existing stereotypes can drive people away from getting tested and taking the actions they need to protect themselves and their communities.

Here are some do's and don'ts for how to talk about the coronavirus with your children, family and friends:

DO: talk about the new coronavirus disease (COVID-19)

DON'T: attach locations or ethnicity to the disease. Remember, viruses can't target people from specific populations, ethnicities, or racial backgrounds.

DO: talk about "people who have COVID-19", "people who are being treated for COVID-19", "people who are recovering from COVID-19" or "people who died after contracting COVID-19"

DON'T: refer to people with the disease as "COVID-19 cases" or "victims"

DO: talk about people "acquiring" or "contracting" COVID-19

DON'T: talk about people "transmitting COVID-19" "infecting others" or "spreading the virus" as it implies intentional transmission and assigns blame.

DO: speak accurately about the risk from COVID-19, based on scientific data and latest official health advice

DON'T: repeat or share unconfirmed rumours, and avoid using hyperbolic language designed to generate fear like "plague", "apocalypse" etc.

DO: talk positively and emphasise the importance of effective prevention measures, including following our tips on handwashing. For most people this is a disease they can overcome. There are simple steps we can all take to keep ourselves, our loved ones and the most vulnerable safe.

What is UNICEF doing to help?

UNICEF is working with the World Health Organization, governments and partners to equip children, pregnant women and their families with the information they need to know on how to prevent the spread of COVID-19. This includes the development of online training modules for health workers, and FAQs and guidance for parents, pregnant women and children.

As of 27 March, UNICEF had shipped more than 4.27 million gloves, 573,300 surgical masks, almost 100,000 N95 respirators, among other supplies, in support of countries as they respond to the pandemic.

Regionally, UNICEF and partners have reached some 86 million affected people in East Asia and the Pacific and South Asia with prevention messages, mainly around handwashing.

UNICEF is also tackling misinformation about the virus by working with online partners like Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok to make sure that accurate advice is available.

On 25 March, UNICEF announced it had raised its COVID-19 appeal to $651.6 million.
Read more about UNICEF's appeal
< Back to UNICEF COVID-19 portal

For more information on COVID-19 see the WHO website

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Coronavirus disease (COVID-19): What parents should know

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Back to UNICEF COVID-19 portal What is a 'novel' coronavirus? A novel coronavirus (CoV) is a new strain of coronavirus. The disease caused by the novel coronavirus first identified in Wuhan, China, has been named coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) - 'CO' stands for corona, 'VI' for virus, and 'D' for disease.

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TELL

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As we prepare nationally to reduce the spread of the latest coronavirus COVID-19 in Japan, it's perfectly normal to feel anxiety about this emerging health crisis. COVID-19 is not MERS, and it is not influenza. It is a new virus with its own characteristics. Disruptions to work, living situations, schools, and daily routines have added [...]

As we prepare nationally to reduce the spread of the latest coronavirus COVID-19 in Japan, it's perfectly normal to feel anxiety about this emerging health crisis. COVID-19 is not MERS, and it is not influenza. It is a new virus with its own characteristics.

Disruptions to work, living situations, schools, and daily routines have added additional strains and stressors to everyone. Our experience and research with PFA (psychological first aid ) have shown that people across the globe struggle to cope with their experiences of disasters and that this is a natural and normal reaction. A pandemic is an invisible disaster, yet its effects are just as real. Understanding how traumatic events affect us can help us to gain control over our lives again. So how should we respond when a pandemic happens? How do we stay centred? What is the best way to help children? How do you support those around you?

TELL has put together some information that can help you and your family manage a pandemic situation. This information will help you understand common reactions and offers suggestions on ways to deal with these concerns, while also maintaining a positive mental health outlook.

The most common reaction to a pandemic is hyper-vigilance - feeling over-cautious and wary about things, such as the person coughing, or not wearing a mask. These feelings can be exacerbated by the fear of contagion. Some people may experience headaches, muscle aches, and stomach aches, and disruptions to their sleeping and eating patterns. Others may have trouble concentrating, thinking clearly, making decisions, or feel sad, overwhelmed, or angry. others may withdraw, and not want to discuss traumatic events. These are all normal reactions, and over time, as life gets back to normal, these feelings decrease.

The three primary strategies for coping with the emotional impact of a pandemic are:

1) Education: Factual information about COVID-19 and current guidelines for prevention.

2) Preparation: Personal and family readiness.

3) Understanding common reactions to pandemics.

Education & Preparation

Having accurate information makes us more confident and increases our coping skills. The World Health Organisation and the US Centres for Disease Control are two of the most accurate and reliable resources.

In Japan, the Japanese government has issued a series of guidelines to prevent the spread of COVID-19.

1. Correct washing of hands & coughing manners

We're not talking about a quick rinse. It should take 30 seconds, use plenty of soap, focus on washing between the fingers, fingertips, and under the nails, and include your wrists.

Wiping down shared surfaces regularly with disinfectant - for example, kitchen benches and work desks.

Please cover your mouth and cough or sneeze into your sleeve or use a tissue. Dispose of the tissue immediately into a closed rubbish bin, and then clean your hands.

2. Facemasks should be used by people who show symptoms of COVID-19 to help prevent the spread of the disease to others.

3. People with mild cold-like symptoms are asked to stay in their homes and refrain from visiting hospitals, to stamp out a possibility of mass infection and protect those who are most vulnerable, such as the elderly and people with pre-existing conditions.

4. If you have a fever of 37.5 C for four days or more and a cough or breathing difficulties, please contact the consultation numbers below.

5. If you have previous health conditions to wait two days with the above symptoms.

6. The government has asked for schools to consider closing until the end of Spring break.

7. Businesses are being asked to promote teleworking, encourage staggering commuting hours, and ensure that workers with cold-like symptoms can take sick leave.

8. The government has advised all people to stay away from large gatherings and for people in areas where there has been an uptick in cases to remain inside their homes.

9. The government has asked event sponsors to consider whether events are necessary.

English language support and consultation numbers

1. Tokyo Coronavirus Support Center for Foreign Residents in 14 languages (0120-296-004) - Available weekdays from 10 am - 5 pm

2. https://www.japan.travel/en/news/coronavirus/

3. https://webchat.bebot.io/JapanNationalTourismOrganization

4. https://www.fukushihoken.metro.tokyo.lg.jp/iryo/kansen/coronasodan.html

5. https://www.mhlw.go.jp/.../covid19-kikokusyasessyokusya.html

6. https://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/en/news/20200226_37/

7. https://www.metro.tokyo.lg.jp/tosei/tosei/news/2019-ncov.html

Preparations & Family Readiness

Preparing reduces our risks and our fears. Through family emergency planning, staying calm, and focusing on the well-being of others in the community, you can be certain normalcy will return to your life. Below are some tips to help you manage in a pandemic.

Make a list of helpful email addresses and contact numbers: schools, doctors, etc.

Make sure you have enough of any prescription and non-prescription medication you need to last a couple of weeks.

Talk with friends and relatives who don't live with you about how you can support each other if one household has to be quarantined due to infection. For example, you could agree to drop groceries or other supplies at the front door.

Keeping your immune system happy and healthy is essential. A healthy immune system starts with a balanced diet and getting the amount of sleep you need to feel well-rested every night.

Avoid excessive amounts of caffeine and alcohol.

Engaging in regular exercise is also essential.

Limit your exposure to graphic news stories or images.

Get accurate, timely information about the disease from credible sources.

Seek out and follow the advice of experts.

Keep your daily routines as normal as possible, such as meal and bedtimes.

Stay busy, both mentally and physically.

Draw upon your spirituality or personal beliefs for comfort.

Express yourself through writing, poetry, drawing, and other arts.

Talk and share your thoughts and feelings with others.

If you are currently seeing a physician, or if you have an existing psychological illness, you may experience an increase in symptoms. Find out how services will be provided during pandemic, flu, and consider or discuss how you might get needed support or assistance from family and friends.

Common Reactions To A Pandemic
Personal and Relationship Changes

Changes to work, school, or income, may result in confusion and uncertainty about the future.

Relationships may become stressed when everyone's emotions are heightened, and conflicts with spouses and other family members may increase.

Pre-existing problems, and previous losses, may resurface.

Individuals and families may have had to live in confined spaces for a period of time.

Parents may be physically or emotionally unavailable to their children, or overprotective of their safety. Children may display a range of behavioral problems according to their age such as being extra clingy or disruptive and will take their cues from their parents.

Work Disruptions

Fatigue and increased stressors can lead to poor work performance.

Conflicts with co-workers may increase, because of added stress.

Businesses may be forced to lay off employees, or company work hours and wages may be cut.

Daily travel and commute patterns may be disrupted.

Those who experience work disruptions may be unable to regain their previous standard of living, leading to financial concerns.

Possible Challenges to Personal and Company Finances At-Risk Populations
The mental health impact of an epidemic is usually more severe in populations who have precarious living conditions, few resources, and limited access to social and health services.

The elderly may be more vulnerable as a result of chronic and disabling illnesses, nutritional deficits, and lack of family and social support; usually, they are less physically fit to face an epidemic.

Children have a limited understanding of what is happening and a limited ability to communicate how they feel. The setting created by an epidemic affects all aspects of child development (physical, mental, and social).

Foreigners and students studying abroad may experience additional emotional stressors. Such as, not being able to return home due to travel restrictions, access to information & resources in their own language, disruptions in communications systems that prevent contact with loved ones. They may also have fewer friends or support to help cope with their own illness should they become ill.

Some people burn anxious energy by pacing, fidgeting, and other nervous habits. But some behaviors triggered by stressful events need to be stopped as they tend to make the situation worse. These things include increased smoking and drinking, blaming others, yelling, swearing, hitting, and throwing things. Unfortunately, it is often the people that we love the most are the targets of these behaviors. If others are in danger due to your stress reactions, please seek professional help.

How to Build Resilience

The recent events have reminded all of us that we can't control everything in our lives. But there are things we can do help us manage the emotional impact. Taking control and managing stress is key. Learning stress reduction techniques such as mediation and deep breathing can be good for everyone. Adults can help their children and others by creating an environment of safety and maintaining structure and routines in your life. Keeping a healthy diet, sleep routines, and exercise are all essential. Friends Make a Difference

If you know someone who has the virus or is elderly reach out to them. Make some time to talk and check how they coping with the situation and the stressors in their lives. Watching out for others shows you care. It can be comforting and calming to both of you. If anyone in your family has a pre-existing condition, call them to make sure they are doing okay. Even if you need to stay at home, keep in touch with all the people you know - family, friends, neighbors, from school, from your faith community, co-workers - by phone and email. Reducing Boredom While Staying At Home

Ask your child's school to supply assignments, worksheets, and homework by online means if possible.

Take everyone's needs into account as much as possible when you plan activities.

Remember, you don't have to spend every moment together, and it is important to make sure everyone gets the opportunity to spend some time alone.

Don't rely too heavily on television, social media, and technology. Treat this time as an opportunity to do some of those things you never usually have time for, such as board games, crafts, drawing, and reading.

Involve your children in as many of the household chores as possible to help them feel they are contributing. They can help clean, or tidy, set tables or help with the cooking.

Accept that conflict and arguments may occur, and try to resolve issues quickly. Distractions may be a good option for young children.

It is also essential to pay attention to your own feelings and to take care of your own emotional needs. You are then better able to help friends and family members handle their concerns.

"Together, we are powerful. Containment starts with you. Our greatest enemy right now is not the virus itself. It's fear, rumours, and stigma. And our greatest assets are facts, reason, and solidarity." WHO Director-General

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As we prepare nationally to reduce the spread of the latest coronavirus COVID-19 in Japan, it's perfectly normal to feel anxiety about this emerging health crisis. COVID-19 is not MERS, and it is not influenza. It is a new virus with its own characteristics. Disruptions to work, living situations, schools, and daily routines have added [...]

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How to keep your child safe online while stuck at home during the COVID-19 outbreak

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How to keep your child safe online while stuck at home during the COVID-19 outbreak

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UNICEF

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If your family is stuck at home during the coronavirus disease (COVID-19) outbreak, it's likely your children are spending a lot more time online. School, chats with friends and grandparents, even music lessons - so much has shifted online.

Being connected helps children and teenagers reduce the impact of this new (temporary) normal and encourages them to continue with their lives. But it also presents a new set of challenges for every parent. How can you maximize all that the internet has to offer, while minimizing the potential harm? It's not an easy balance on a normal day, let alone when facing a health crisis like COVID-19.

5 ways you can help keep your children safe online

1. Keep them safe with open communication

Have an honest dialogue with your children about who they communicate with and how. Make sure they understand the value of kind and supportive interactions and that mean, discriminatory or inappropriate contact is never acceptable. If your children experience any of these, encourage them to tell you or a trusted adult immediately. Be alert if your child appears to be upset or secretive with online activities or if they are experiencing cyberbullying.

Work with your child to establish rules on how, when and where devices can be used.

2. Use technology to protect them

Check that your child's device is running the latest software and antivirus programs, and that privacy settings are on. Keep webcams covered when not in use. For younger children, tools such as parental controls, including safe search, can help keep online experiences positive.

Be cautious of free online educational resources. Your child should never have to provide a photo or their full name to use these resources. Remember to check the privacy settings to minimize data collection. Help your child learn to keep personal information private, especially from strangers.

3. Spend time with them online

Create opportunities for your child to have safe and positive online interactions with friends, family and you. Connecting with others is more important than ever at the moment and this can be an excellent opportunity for you to model kindness and empathy in your "virtual interactions".

Help your child recognize and avoid misinformation and age-inappropriate content that may increase anxiety about the COVID-19 virus. Many digital resources from credible organizations like UNICEF and the World Health Organization are available for you and your child to learn about the virus together.

Spend time with your child to identify age appropriate apps, games and other online entertainment.
>> How to talk to your child about coronavirus

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How to keep your child safe online while stuck at home during the COVID-19 outbreak

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If your family is stuck at home during the coronavirus disease (COVID-19) outbreak, it's likely your children are spending a lot more time online. School, chats with friends and grandparents, even music lessons - so much has shifted online. Being connected helps children and teenagers reduce the impact of this new (temporary) normal and encourages them to continue with their lives.

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Child Mind Institute

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When you're a parent, self-care often slips to the bottom of the list. But taking care of yourself isn't a luxury. It's essential. And during this difficult time, when children are home and stress is running high, it's more important than ever. Here are five tips from our clinicians that can help.

The pandemic has been long, and even though the end is in sight, we're all struggling to maintain our mental health. Even now, much of the personal time that was part of daily routines pre-pandemic - commutes, time alone at home or at the store, social time with friends, sitting in a restaurant - is not available for folks with kids at home. Without it, we have to be intentional about creating space to recharge and decompress. This could look like taking a shower or bath, walking around the block alone (or with your dog), or designating time to read or simply zone out after the kids have gone to bed.

The colder weather and ongoing stress we're all experiencing right now can make it easy to slip into habits that feel good in the moment but can be detrimental in the long term. "Make sure you're eating properly, try to get enough sleep (but not too much!), and create a routine that includes physical activity," recommends Jill Emanuele, PhD, Senior Director of the Mood Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute. This doesn't mean pressuring yourself to get into tip-top shape, or not eating ice cream or binging your favorite shows. It does mean being thoughtful and intentional about how you're treating yourself and your body. Small changes like making time to take a walk, do a short exercise routine, or choosing to go to bed a little earlier than usual can reduce stress and help you feel more relaxed and resilient.

"Perfectionism and the coronavirus don't mix," says David Anderson, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. "It's time to be exceedingly realistic, both at work and as a parent." Avoid burnout by setting realistic expectations and giving yourself grace if you can't meet them. "Practice forgiveness and self-compassion," says Dr. Anderson. Parents should remind themselves that these are unprecedented times. "There's no playbook for this. Remember you're doing your best during a very difficult time. Cut yourself some slack."

It's been long (long long long) year and anxiety is, understandably, rampant. With so much worry and uncertainty floating around it can be easy to absorb other people's fears and concerns without even realizing it. If you have a friend or family member who's in the habit of sending worst-case-scenario news or is prone to sending anxiety-provoking text messages, practice a little emotional distancing. Let them know you sympathize but that you're taking a break from worrying news, or simply hit the Do Not Disturb button. You can always reconnect when things are calmer.

Self-care can be as simple as taking a shower, but it doesn't have to be. Finding time to get back in touch with hobbies or activities you enjoy or making the choice to learn a new skill can be a great way to practice self-care. Maybe there's a knitting project you've always wanted to try, or you've been meaning to learn how to needlepoint. If young children at home make solo activities unrealistic, seek out activities you can enjoy together, like baking bread, or making art.

Finally, remember, being kind to yourself will not only help you stay calm during this difficult time, it will help ensure that you have the bandwidth you need to take good care of your family. When you're running on fumes, caring for others can tax your already depleted resources to breaking point. But when you prioritize your needs, you're filling the tank, emotionally and physically, and that means you'll be in a position to offer comfort and care to others when they need it most.

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Self-Care in the Time of Coronavirus - Child Mind Institute

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When you're a parent, self-care often slips to the bottom of the list. But taking care of yourself isn't a luxury. It's essential. And during this difficult time, when children are home and stress is running high, it's more important than ever. Here are five tips from our clinicians that can help.

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Coronavirus Playlist of Videos by Child Mind Institute

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Coronavirus Playlist of Videos by Child Mind Institute

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Child Mind Institute

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Coronavirus Videos by Child Mind Institute - YouTube

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Make Your Home Feel Safe | Coronavirus Daily Tips by the Child Mind Institute

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Coping with Coronavirus Videos by Dr. Lea Waters

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Coping with Coronavirus Videos by Dr. Lea Waters

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Professor Lea Waters is president elect of the International Positive Psychology Association and Gerry Higgins Chair in Positive Psychology at the University of Melbourne

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Supporting Teenagers and Young Adults During the Coronavirus Crisis

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Supporting Teenagers and Young Adults During the Coronavirus Crisis

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Child Mind Institute

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Supporting Teenagers and Young Adults During the Coronavirus Crisis - Child Mind Institute

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Tips for parents with older children at home during the coronavirus crisis. How to validate their feelings and help them stay active and healthy.

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Single Parenting During the Coronavirus Crisis

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Single Parenting During the Coronavirus Crisis

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Child Mind Institute

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The coronavirus crisis is tough on all families. But for single parents, having to suddenly manage kids whose schools and playgrounds are closed and whose caregivers can no longer come to work can be especially overwhelming.

Click here to see all resources related to the coronavirus crisis.

Getting through the actual day-to-day of life under quarantine - not to mention juggling working from home or dealing with the fallout from sudden unemployment - is stressful enough. Add to that the isolation from other adults in your social network, and the task of single parenting can feel insurmountable.

There's no magic bullet that will make living through this crisis easy. But we've put together some advice from our experts to help support single parents during this difficult time. In particular, we're focusing on tips for reaching out to find help (which is crucial to your mental health), balancing work and time with the kids (which can feel impossible) and handling difficult behavior (which is to be expected).

Start with acceptance

Acceptance might sound absurd in the face of such a challenging situation, but think of it this way: Accepting the situation you're in doesn't mean you have to like it. Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, recommends a mindfulness concept called "radical acceptance," which means that you accept what is happening in the moment without judgment, rather than fighting what you're experiencing. It also means accepting the feelings you have - including things like anger and frustration. When you're stuck in a bad situation, check in with yourself. What is - and isn't - out of your control? Once you've acknowledged what you can't control, you'll be able move forward to improve what you can control. Radical acceptance could enable you to:

Acknowledge that right now, you are in survival mode. Be kind to yourself, and remember that though it may feel lonely, you are not alone. Everyone is going through this in one way or another. "If I read one more article about how this is a great time to reorganize my closet, I'm going to lose it," says Stephanie Lee, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. "I think we want to dispel the myth that this is a good time to work on things. This is a time to survive and get by and that's okay."

Set the parenting bar lower. Accept that there are going to be some days when if you can get everybody fed and bathed and squeeze in a little activity, that is a good day. "If you can move the bar up just a little one day a week, great," says Dr. Lee. "And if it falls back down again the next day, that's okay."

Settle for less academics. It's virtually impossible to work from home and be your kid's teacher five days a week. "If you can manage to do academic work with your child three days a week instead of five, that's great," says Dr. Lee. "If you can only do two right now, that's okay too." It can also be helpful to check in with teachers when you feel comfortable doing so, since they may be able to give extra support in stressful situations or even just provide additional time to complete assignments.

Go back to basics. Try setting your priorities for the day in the morning. What has to get done? Then, maybe add what you'd like to get done. Kids - and you - need good sleep, some nutrition and ideally a bit of exercise every day. Those are the basics. That may mean going for a jog while your kid rides his scooter, but with parks and playgrounds in many places closed right now, it may mean taking a break to do ten jumping jacks or have a relay race in the hallway.

Find a few minutes a day for yourself. These days, the old cliché of "putting your mask on first" has taken on a new meaning. But the idea that if you can't help yourself, you can't help your child, stills holds true. "One minute of self-care, five minutes of self-care - that doesn't mean you go to the spa but it does mean maybe taking a walk if you can," says Dr. Busman. "Or doing a three-minute meditation." Taking small breaks throughout the day is crucial, even if it's just to stretch or drink some water.

Relax screen time limits. That doesn't mean letting your kid watch TV all day. But allowing a little extra time on the iPad or an extra hour of gaming can give you time to recharge and let everyone have a little break. Remember, these changes aren't forever - you're just adapting to an unusual situation.

Find your village

If ever there were a time to ask for help, now is that time. And it's important to model for your child that when you need help, you ask for it. When you can't rely on your usual support network, you might:

Reach out to your child's teacher or school psychologist or counselor, or to your own therapist.

Contact clergy members or other spiritual leaders in your community.

Schedule regular FaceTime dates with grandparents or your child's favorite babysitter or the other parent if they're in the picture. "Just fifteen or twenty minutes of virtual childcare may give you the time you need to take a shower or start a grocery delivery list," says Dr. Lee. "I know one grandma who does little kid yoga with her grandchild once a week." Kids can entertain each other, too - setting yours up to chat with cousins or classmates can be a way to give other parents some breathing room at the same time. Scheduling these visits around the same time every day or every week can also give both your child and you a little bit of structure and something to look forward to.

Have virtual meals with friends who live in other parts of the country and who are at home with their kids. "This may be the time to reconnect with that college friend you've lost touch with and introduce your kids to each other," Dr. Lee says.

Call to see if local libraries or the music class you used to attend with your child are offering virtual sessions. Remember that you're not limited to resources in your geographic area. If a bookstore across the country has great kids' events that are now online, this is your chance to check them out.

Make a plan for juggling work and childcare

Working from home is hard and homeschooling is hard, so putting them together can seem impossible. If you're feeling overwhelmed by the balancing act, try these strategies:

Speak with your employer if you're working from home. "Everybody working from home is working for and with someone who is also working from home," says Dr. Busman. "We are obviously concerned about our jobs, but depending on your situation, you can talk to your employer about taking some family medical leave or have a conversation about how to arrange flex time or how to consolidate work tasks during times that are going to align with what your child needs."

Use visual aids and timers to let your child know when you're available and when you need to work. For young kids, Lee suggests setting kids up with an activity they can do relatively independently and then using timers or visual "stop lights" (clipping a green piece of paper to the door when you're available, and a red one when you're not) to teach kids about boundaries. "Then you have to check in every five minutes or so, non-contingently," she says, to let them know you are there. Eventually you can move to longer durations of time.

Go easy on yourself. Like everything else about the current situation, your work life simply might not be up to its usual standards. But as long as you're staying on top of your essential day-to-day tasks, you are doing your job - even if you're usually determined to go above and beyond. Take comfort in knowing that your supervisor and colleagues are likely facing similar challenges themselves, and if you can, try to be open with them about what you're realistically able to put in at work right now.

Get ahead of behavior issues

The current situation is just as difficult for kids as it is for parents. And with everyone at home together, some conflict is unavoidable. Consider these tips for making the most of the challenges that do come up:

Avoid the temptation to intervene if you can. Having more than one kid at home can be great, on the one hand, because they can keep each other company. But being cooped up can also lead to more bickering among siblings. Carol, a lawyer and the single mom of two 11-year-old girls, has discovered the beauty of noise-cancelling headphones. "I wear them sometimes when the kids are off playing or doing chores," she says. "I have a tendency to want to get involved as soon as I hear them needing help or beginning to argue. It is helpful to me not to be able to hear them because it allows them more time to work through stuff on their own." This approach works well with teens and tweens. If you have little kids, you'll probably need to be the referee and help them work it out. But having a calm discussion about whatever the issue is rather than just yelling at them (even if that's what you really feel like doing) is likely keep things from escalating and you'll also be modeling constructive ways of dealing with conflict.

Expect some regression and tantrums. With the sudden restrictions imposed as a result of the pandemic, children have suddenly lost their bearings in the world - their friends, their school, their schedule. And it's expected that kids may be anxious and that may result in regression and acting out. The key, Dr. Lee says, is to not engage with tantrums as much as possible as long as the behavior isn't dangerous. "We want to be careful that we don't inadvertently reward kids in the middle of their tantrum with big, bold, and immediate attention, because it will inadvertently reinforce that behavior and keep it going."

Heap on the praise. On the flip side, it's crucial to "catch" your kids being good. "I'm always all about the praise and there's two kinds of praise. There's general praise and then there's labeled praise," Dr. Lee explains. "General praise is things like 'good job,' 'thank you,' 'way to go.' Labeled praise is literally telling someone what it was about their behavior you liked: 'Thank you so much for putting your plate in the sink.'"

The strategy of praising kids in this way is something Dr. Lee uses especially in her work with kids with special needs like ADHD and autism because it really helps to reinforce good behavior. But right now, with virtually all kids having to learn new routines and ways of coping, applying these praise techniques is beneficial to any kid living under quarantine.

If you let your kids know that you know they are doing the best they can, even in these deeply uncertain times, hopefully life will become a little easier for all of you. And right now, that is enough of a goal for any parent.

Figure out what does, and doesn't, work for you

When it comes to daily life during the coronavirus crisis, we're all making it up as we go along. It's not going to be the same for everyone. How you cope will depend, in part, on how old your kids are, how independent they can be and what your work situation is.

Linda, the single mom of a toddler in New York City, feels like she is drowning. For a week she and her daughter didn't get out of their pajamas. It took a while, but she says she discovered something that worked. "Art has been our saving grace." She spends hours each day letting her daughter go crazy with painting and has even been able to have some socially distanced playdates with the women from her moms' group where they meet outside and let the kids draw with sidewalk chalk.

Carol has been teleworking from home for over a month. "I've had time to figure out what works and what doesn't," she says. Carol has figured out that everyone does their best work in the morning, so that's when she sets her kids up with their schoolwork and when she tries to schedule as much of her own work as possible. In the afternoons they do chores and she takes her kids to a dirt field nearby where, she says, "they will ride their bikes in circles for two hours just to burn off steam."

Feel free to embrace whatever works for you and your kids. And if you try a strategy that's worked for someone else and find that it's not right for you, let it go. "This pandemic didn't come with a 'how-to' manual," says Dr. Lee, and remembering that can be the key to making this situation less stressful for you and your kids alike.

Click here to see all resources related to the coronavirus crisis.

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Single Parenting During the Coronavirus Crisis | Child Mind Institute

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The coronavirus crisis is tough on all families. But for single parents, having to suddenly manage kids whose schools and playgrounds are closed and whose caregivers can no longer come to work can be especially overwhelming. Click here to see all resources related to the coronavirus crisis.

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Is there any good news about the coronavirus pandemic?

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Is there any good news about the coronavirus pandemic?

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Harvard Health

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Thanks for visiting. Don't miss your FREE gift.

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Sign up to get tips for living a healthy lifestyle, with ways to fight inflammation and improve cognitive health, plus the latest advances in preventative medicine, diet and exercise, pain relief, blood pressure and cholesterol management, and more.

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Is there any good news about the coronavirus pandemic? - Harvard Health

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Thanks for visiting. Don't miss your FREE gift. The Best Diets for Cognitive Fitness, is yours absolutely FREE when you sign up to receive Health Alerts from Harvard Medical School Sign up to get tips for living a healthy lifestyle, with ways to fight inflammation and improve cognitive health, plus the latest advances in preventative medicine, diet and exercise, pain relief, blood pressure and cholesterol management, and more.

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Headspace

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There are a lot of unknowns in the world right now. But one thing is certain - Headspace is here for you. To help you, we're offering some meditations you can listen to anytime.

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Rethinking screen-time in the time of COVID-19

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Rethinking screen-time in the time of COVID-19

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UNICEF

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Expert perspective | 4 minute read

Today, about 3 billion people are in lockdown around the world - and almost 90% of the student population cut off from school. It's no surprise that a lot of children and their parents are increasingly connecting to the outside world through screens they might have once regarded with restraint or even reproach.

With more than 130 countries restricting movement to contain the COVID-19 pandemic, it is time to recognize the internet as a critical tool for children's access to learning, play, entertainment and social interaction. In short, they might have a lot to gain from spending time in the digital space.

But for parents who worried about the time their children spend on social media and online games before the pandemic, the figurative 'jump' into screens can also cause more concern or even distress. How can children and families make the most of the increased reliance on screens - which are helping to maintain a sense of normalcy during lockdown - while also finding the right balance with other important activities?

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Rethinking screen-time in the time of COVID-19

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Expert perspective | 4 minute read Today, about 3 billion people are in lockdown around the world - and almost 90% of the student population cut off from school. It's no surprise that a lot of children and their parents are increasingly connecting to the outside world through screens they might have once regarded with restraint or even reproach.

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Coping With the Coronavirus With Mindfulness and Compassion

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Coping With the Coronavirus With Mindfulness and Compassion

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Psychology Today

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We are all feeling a great deal of stress and fear regarding the novel coronavirus. This stress and fear can cause us to panic, obsess, and fall back into negative habits, such as overeating or eating unhealthy foods.

But there are two related practices that can help us to regain a sense of calm, as well as to gain some perspective. These two practices are mindfulness and compassion. In addition to helping the average person cope with their stress and fear regarding our current pandemic, mindfulness and self-compassion are particularly effective practices for those who have experienced trauma in the past, including former victims of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse who can become "triggered" by this current crisis.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness gives us the ability to accept painful thoughts and feelings in a balanced way. In particular, it is, for most of us, a healthier way to deal with both the stress and fear surrounding the coronavirus pandemic. Mindfulness offers a way to turn toward our anxiety and fear so we don't become overwhelmed by it.

First and foremost, mindfulness involves being in the present. It has been said that the present moment is all we have. The past has already occurred and the future is yet to be. We can become so lost in our fears about tomorrow that we miss the present.

In addition to learning how to pay attention in the present moment, we need to learn how to do so without evaluation or judgment. We need to use our conscious awareness and direct our attention to observe and only observe. So mindfulness entails observing what is going on in our field of awareness just as it is-right here, right now.

Acceptance is another aspect of mindfulness. Instead of trying to ignore or get rid of our emotional pain, when we respond to our pain with acceptance, change can happen naturally. Acceptance is not the same as resignation or feeling powerless or hopeless. And it is not the same as sugar-coating reality. Instead, acceptance in this context refers to making a conscious choice to experience our sensations, feelings, and thoughts just as they are. When we practice acceptance in this way, when we give up trying to control or manipulate our experience, we open the door to change.
Exercise: Beginning the Practice of Mindfulness
This is a very non-threatening beginning exercise in mindfulness. You can't do it wrong so don't worry about "getting it right." The entire exercise should only take five minutes but make sure you are in a quiet place with no distractions (unplug your cell phone, TV, radio, etc.).

Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and begin to notice what it feels like to be in your body. Just be aware of and be with the physical sensations in your body as they come and go.

You need not pay attention to any particular sensation but if you do notice a feeling or sensation, just feel it and let it go. Perhaps you feel a warmth in your hands or a tightness in your shoulders. If it is a pleasant sensation, feel it and let it go. If it is an unpleasant one, also feel it and let it go. Just notice whatever feelings or sensations arise. Take your time.

After about five minutes, gently open your eyes. You may or may not notice that you are more in the present or more connected to your body. The point of this beginning practice is to help you become familiar with the practice of mindfulness.

Self-Compassion
While compassion is the ability to feel and connect with the suffering of another human being, self-compassion is the ability to feel and connect with one's own suffering. More specifically for our purposes, self-compassion is the act of extending compassion to one's self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering.

If we are to be self-compassionate we need to offer ourselves the recognition, validation, and support we would offer a loved one or a dear friend who is suffering.

Kristin Neff, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, is the leading researcher in the growing field of self-compassion. In her ground-breaking book, Self-Compassion, she defines self-compassion as "being open to and moved by one's own suffering, experiencing feelings of caring and kindness toward oneself, taking an understanding, nonjudgmental attitude toward one's inadequacies and failures, and recognizing that one's experience is part of the common human experience."

Self-compassion encourages you to begin to treat yourself and talk to yourself with the same kindness, caring, and compassion you would show a good friend or a beloved child. Just as connecting with the suffering of others has actually been shown to comfort and even help heal others of their ailments or problems, connecting with your own suffering will do the same for you.
Putting Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Into Practice
Both mindfulness and self-compassion have proven to help us alleviate stress and fear. Let's apply these practices to our current anxiety, fear, and stress reactions to the coronavirus.

1. Draw the line between preparedness and panic.

When we are stressed or anxious, our thinking brains go offline, and we go into survival mode. Intellectual information doesn't stick because we're busy running away from the danger. Only when our brains perceive safety does our thinking part of the brain (prefrontal cortex) come back online. That's when we can rationally plan for the future.

For example, when we are home, calmly writing a grocery list, our prefrontal cortex helps us to make a reasonable list. But when we get to the grocery store and see everyone running around in a panic state, we suddenly join in. The scientific term for this is "social contagion," which is basically the spread of emotion from person to person.

So what do we do about this phenomenon? Noticing that we are panicking is a good first step. Similar to taking your foot off the gas when your car is going out of control, mindfulness helps us ground ourselves in the present moment, which helps our minds stop racing off into the future with worry or catastrophic thinking.

Grounding is a powerful yet simple strategy to help you manage and detach from fear, anxiety, and pain. The goal is to shift attention away from negative feelings toward the external world. Grounding is particularly powerful because it can be applied to any situation where you are caught in emotional pain (e. g. triggered) and can be done anytime, anywhere, by oneself, without anyone noticing it.

Please note: Grounding is not a "relaxation technique" and in fact, is a more effective tool for victims of trauma. Some victims with PTSD actually become more anxious when they are guided through conventional relaxation techniques (e.g. "close your eyes, focus on your breathing"). Closing their eyes can lead to dissociation for some victims and focusing on breathing, and even the word "relax," may be triggers that remind them of sexual abuse.

Most people report that they feel more "present" after practicing grounding. In fact, many are surprised to realize that they are "out of their body" (dissociated) more often than they realize. Practice grounding whenever you are extremely anxious, when you are having flashbacks or traumatic memories, and whenever you feel you are dissociated.
Basic Grounding Exercise

Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed or distracted.

Sit up in a chair or on the couch. Put your feet flat on the ground. If you are wearing shoes with heels, you will need to take your shoes off so that you can have your feet flat on the ground.

With your eyes open, take a few deep breaths. Turn your attention once again to feeling the ground under your feet. Continue your breathing and feeling your feet flat on the ground throughout the exercise.

Now, as you continue breathing, clear your eyes and take a look around the room. As you slowly scan the room, notice the colors, shapes, and textures of the objects in the room. If you'd like, scan your eyes around the room moving your neck so you can see a wider view.

Bring your focus back to feeling the ground under your feet as you continue to breathe and to notice the different colors, textures, and shapes of the objects in the room.

This grounding exercise will serve several purposes:

It will bring your awareness back to your body, which in turn can stop you from panicking, being triggered, or from dissociating.

It will bring you back to the present, to the here and now, again a good thing if you are panicking or if you have been triggered and have been catapulted back into the past by a memory or a trigger.

Deliberately focusing your attention outside yourself by being visually involved in the world breaks the panic spiral and allows those feelings and thoughts to subside.

2. Learn how to stop your fears, many of which feel quite real, from snowballing ("I'm going to lose my job," "My grandmother is going to die.") Mindfulness practices such as the mindfulness exercise offered above can help you stop your fears from snowballing and to build good "mental immunity" to stress, anxiety, and panic.

3. Learn to "anchor" yourself when you begin to obsess or panic. It is easy to focus if you are simply noticing what comes and goes. Problems arise, however, when you unconsciously resist discomfort, judge your discomfort or allow your mind to begin obsessing or fantasizing. When this happens, you will discover that a simple exercise such as sitting still for a few minutes and allowing your thoughts to come and go can become uncomfortable or even unbearable.

Because it is so difficult to allow ourselves to just observe and just be-without the automatic mental functions of labeling and judging taking over-the mind needs an anchor. The most common anchor used in mindfulness practice is the breath. Paying attention to your breath is an excellent way to gather your attention and bring yourself into the present moment.

A note to former victims of trauma, especially those with a history of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse: Unfortunately, victims of trauma often have a difficult time focusing on their breath. This is true for several reasons.

First of all, victims of physical or sexual abuse may not like being reminded of their bodies since this can bring back bad memories. For example, it is common for those who were sexually abused to be reminded of either the perpetrator's breathing or their own as they were being abused. Those who were held down, gagged, or confined in a small space may experience shortness of breath when they focus on their breathing. Those who suffer from physical pain due to flashbacks or being triggered by memories of the abuse may not want to focus on their body. And those who don't like how their body looks or who experience hatred of their body may find that focusing on their breath brings them too close to their bodies.

For these reasons, I recommend that those who have a history of trauma find a different anchor. Practicing the grounding exercise I provided earlier can act as your anchor. A physical object can also be an excellent anchor. You can use whatever you wish-a small stone, an object given to you by a loved one-just make sure it is readily available. For example, some people carry a small, flat stone around with them to help them become anchored or grounded whenever they experience a strong emotion or when they are triggered.

4. Learn how to soothe yourself. When you start to panic, obsess, or feel triggered by something in your environment, try each of the following:

1. Gently stroke your arm, face, or hair

2. Gently rock your body

3. Give yourself a warm hug

Notice how your body feels after receiving each of these self-soothing techniques. Does it feel calmer, more relaxed? Notice which of these self-soothing techniques feels the best to you. For example, do you have more positive associations with one more than the other?

Don't allow your self-critical mind to try to talk you out of it-it is not silly or self-centered to soothe yourself-it is a loving thing to do for yourself.

5. Stop judging yourself for feeling anxious and fearful or for behaving in ways that seem unproductive or unhealthy. We need to take a fresh look at difficult emotions like fear and pain that can provide us with important information about what's happening inside of us. Emotions become destructive-meaning that they cause us greater mental or physical suffering-when we either cling to them or push them away. And emotions seem to get stronger the more we fight them.

The healthier way to deal with these difficult emotions is to "hold" them in an open, aware, self-compassionate way. You can also change your relationship to your feelings by not judging an emotion or getting upset because you are feeling an emotion, telling yourself things like, "I hate feeling like this," or "I shouldn't feel like this," or "I'm wrong to have this feeling." Instead of becoming self-critical when you begin to panic, become obsessive, or fall back on old coping methods like overeating, you can work toward accepting your behavior with self-compassionate statements like:

"It is understandable that I would feel afraid right now."

"It is understandable that I would go back to old habits when I'm stressed."

The key here is to remind yourself that it is understandable, given the present situation, that you would be afraid, stressed, or panicked and that offering yourself understanding and self-compassion will help you a lot more than judging or criticizing yourself.
Combining Mindfulness With Self-Compassion
Self-compassion and mindfulness can work in tandem to help you learn to lean into your fear and anxiety and establish a new relationship with it. As Christopher Germer stated in his book, The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: "While mindfulness says, 'Feel the pain,' self-compassion says, 'Cherish yourself in the midst of the pain.'"

Mindfulness practice often leads to self-compassion. Mindfulness combined with self-compassion will help you to experience fear, anxiety, and pain in safe doses instead of either avoiding these feelings or allowing them to overwhelm you and your ability to focus and function. Self-compassion teaches us that instead of dealing with difficult emotions by fighting against them, we acknowledge our pain and respond to it with kindness and understanding.

As Kristin Neff so eloquently stated in Self Compassion: "The beauty of self-compassion is that instead of replacing negative feelings with positive ones, new positive emotions are generated by embracing the negative ones. The positive emotions of care and connectedness are felt alongside our painful feelings. When we have compassion for ourselves, sunshine and shadow are experienced simultaneously."

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Coping With the Coronavirus With Mindfulness and Compassion

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We are all feeling a great deal of stress and fear regarding the novel coronavirus. This stress and fear can cause us to panic, obsess, and fall back into negative habits, such as overeating or eating unhealthy foods. But there are two related practices that can help us to regain a sense of calm, as well as to gain some perspective.

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Managing Grief During the Global Pandemic  

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Managing Grief During the Global Pandemic  

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Some of the HBR edit staff met virtually the other day - a screen full of faces in a scene becoming more common everywhere. We talked about the content we're commissioning in this harrowing time of a pandemic and how we can help people. But we also talked about how we were feeling. One colleague mentioned that what she felt was grief. Heads nodded in all the panes.

If we can name it, perhaps we can manage it. We turned to David Kessler for ideas on how to do that. Kessler is the world's foremost expert on grief. He co-wrote with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief through the Five Stages of Loss. His new book adds another stage to the process, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. Kessler also has worked for a decade in a three-hospital system in Los Angeles. He served on their biohazards team. His volunteer work includes being an LAPD Specialist Reserve for traumatic events as well as having served on the Red Cross's disaster services team. He is the founder of www.grief.com, which has over 5 million visits yearly from 167 countries.

Kessler shared his thoughts on why it's important to acknowledge the grief you may be feeling, how to manage it, and how he believes we will find meaning in it. The conversation is lightly edited for clarity.
HBR: People are feeling any number of things right now. Is it right to call some of what they're feeling grief?
Kessler: Yes, and we're feeling a number of different griefs. We feel the world has changed, and it has. We know this is temporary, but it doesn't feel that way, and we realize things will be different. Just as going to the airport is forever different from how it was before 9/11, things will change and this is the point at which they changed. The loss of normalcy; the fear of economic toll; the loss of connection. This is hitting us and we're grieving. Collectively. We are not used to this kind of collective grief in the air.
You said we're feeling more than one kind of grief?
Yes, we're also feeling anticipatory grief. Anticipatory grief is that feeling we get about what the future holds when we're uncertain. Usually it centers on death. We feel it when someone gets a dire diagnosis or when we have the normal thought that we'll lose a parent someday. Anticipatory grief is also more broadly imagined futures. There is a storm coming. There's something bad out there. With a virus, this kind of grief is so confusing for people. Our primitive mind knows something bad is happening, but you can't see it. This breaks our sense of safety. We're feeling that loss of safety. I don't think we've collectively lost our sense of general safety like this. Individually or as smaller groups, people have felt this. But all together, this is new. We are grieving on a micro and a macro level.
What can individuals do to manage all this grief?
Understanding the stages of grief is a start. But whenever I talk about the stages of grief, I have to remind people that the stages aren't linear and may not happen in this order. It's not a map but it provides some scaffolding for this unknown world. There's denial, which we say a lot of early on: This virus won't affect us. There's anger: You're making me stay home and taking away my activities. There's bargaining: Okay, if I social distance for two weeks everything will be better, right? There's sadness: I don't know when this will end. And finally there's acceptance. This is happening; I have to figure out how to proceed.

Acceptance, as you might imagine, is where the power lies. We find control in acceptance. I can wash my hands. I can keep a safe distance. I can learn how to work virtually.
When we're feeling grief there's that physical pain. And the racing mind. Are there techniques to deal with that to make it less intense?
Let's go back to anticipatory grief. Unhealthy anticipatory grief is really anxiety, and that's the feeling you're talking about. Our mind begins to show us images. My parents getting sick. We see the worst scenarios. That's our minds being protective. Our goal is not to ignore those images or to try to make them go away - your mind won't let you do that and it can be painful to try and force it. The goal is to find balance in the things you're thinking. If you feel the worst image taking shape, make yourself think of the best image. We all get a little sick and the world continues. Not everyone I love dies. Maybe no one does because we're all taking the right steps. Neither scenario should be ignored but neither should dominate either.

Anticipatory grief is the mind going to the future and imagining the worst. To calm yourself, you want to come into the present. This will be familiar advice to anyone who has meditated or practiced mindfulness but people are always surprised at how prosaic this can be. You can name five things in the room. There's a computer, a chair, a picture of the dog, an old rug, and a coffee mug. It's that simple. Breathe. Realize that in the present moment, nothing you've anticipated has happened. In this moment, you're okay. You have food. You are not sick. Use your senses and think about what they feel. The desk is hard. The blanket is soft. I can feel the breath coming into my nose. This really will work to dampen some of that pain.

You can also think about how to let go of what you can't control. What your neighbor is doing is out of your control. What is in your control is staying six feet away from them and washing your hands. Focus on that.

Finally, it's a good time to stock up on compassion. Everyone will have different levels of fear and grief and it manifests in different ways. A coworker got very snippy with me the other day and I thought, That's not like this person; that's how they're dealing with this. I'm seeing their fear and anxiety. So be patient. Think about who someone usually is and not who they seem to be in this moment.
One particularly troubling aspect of this pandemic is the open-endedness of it.
This is a temporary state. It helps to say it. I worked for 10 years in the hospital system. I've been trained for situations like this. I've also studied the 1918 flu pandemic. The precautions we're taking are the right ones. History tells us that. This is survivable. We will survive. This is a time to overprotect but not overreact.

And, I believe we will find meaning in it. I've been honored that Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's family has given me permission to add a sixth stage to grief: Meaning. I had talked to Elisabeth quite a bit about what came after acceptance. I did not want to stop at acceptance when I experienced some personal grief. I wanted meaning in those darkest hours. And I do believe we find light in those times. Even now people are realizing they can connect through technology. They are not as remote as they thought. They are realizing they can use their phones for long conversations. They're appreciating walks. I believe we will continue to find meaning now and when this is over.
What do you say to someone who's read all this and is still feeling overwhelmed with grief?
Keep trying. There is something powerful about naming this as grief. It helps us feel what's inside of us. So many have told me in the past week, "I'm telling my coworkers I'm having a hard time," or "I cried last night." When you name it, you feel it and it moves through you. Emotions need motion. It's important we acknowledge what we go through. One unfortunate byproduct of the self-help movement is we're the first generation to have feelings about our feelings. We tell ourselves things like, I feel sad, but I shouldn't feel that; other people have it worse. We can - we should - stop at the first feeling. I feel sad. Let me go for five minutes to feel sad. Your work is to feel your sadness and fear and anger whether or not someone else is feeling something. Fighting it doesn't help because your body is producing the feeling. If we allow the feelings to happen, they'll happen in an orderly way, and it empowers us. Then we're not victims.
In an orderly way?
Yes. Sometimes we try not to feel what we're feeling because we have this image of a "gang of feelings." If I feel sad and let that in, it'll never go away. The gang of bad feelings will overrun me. The truth is a feeling that moves through us. We feel it and it goes and then we go to the next feeling. There's no gang out to get us. It's absurd to think we shouldn't feel grief right now. Let yourself feel the grief and keep going.

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During the global pandemic, a palpable sense of collective grief has emerged. Grief expert David Kessler says that grief is actually multiple feelings that we must manage. In an interview with HBR, he explains how the classic five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, acceptance) apply today, and the practical steps we can take to manage the anxiety.

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Pandemic Panic? These 5 Tips Can Help You Regain Your Calm

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Pandemic Panic? These 5 Tips Can Help You Regain Your Calm

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NPR

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Pandemic Panic? These 5 Tips Can Help You Regain Your Calm

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There’s a lot we can’t control about the spread of coronavirus. But these five steps will help you manage your fears and protect your health.