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I love Brene's inclusion of a statistic that says "70% of the estimates 14.8 million Americans who use illegal drugs are employed, and drug abuse costs employers $81 billion annually". It further proves upon her

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On page 141, Brown reiterates that "People, people, people are just people, people, people." I liked this because it brings up that fact that everyone has fears and everyone is equal regardless of positions or standards.

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Brene starts off page 30 with "When we define ourselves by what everyone thinks, it's hard to be brave.". I think this is a really shocking statement that not only gets the reader's attention (it sure got my attention at least), but is also a very relatable proclaimation. I feel like this is a necessary thing to say when talking about rumbling with vulnerability because it allows us to be confident, to change, and apologize for the right reasons and for the right people.

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“And vulnerability never becomes comfortable, but practicing means that when vulnerability is washing over us, we can hear grounded confidence whisper in our ear, “This is hard and awkward, and uncomfortable. You may not know how it’s going to turn out, but are strong and you have practiced what it takes to create and hold the space for this.” (134). This quote from page 134 is very inspirational. Many people have issues with doubting themselves when they shouldn’t be. We as humans need to accept that we do have feelings, and that showing these feelings can be embarrassing, but you are capable of making things work.

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I like how Brown uses this quote again from a previous story, "People, people, people are just people, people, people," page 141.

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On page 105, Brown uses an analogy "looking for shame in organizations is like inspecting a home for termites." She goes on to say that shame is usually hidden and it's not dormant. I liked this because it is so honest and true. I think that everyone can relate to this because everyone carries some sort of shame. It is evident that shame has effect our society in multiple way. Some examples Brown included were "bullying others, criticizing subordinates in front of colleagues, and delivering public reprimands."

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On page 134, there is a quote that says "Easy learning doesn't build strong skills."

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Vulnerability is a mixture of truth and and courage. Brown references a quote, "People don't care how much you know until they know hoe much you care." She goes on to say, "I've learned one way to help people understand how much you care is to share your story," all found on page 140. I think the key here is practicing everything Brown has taught thus far. She says that opening up and allowing yourself to truly be vulnerable with someone is an act of courage that could potentially be transcending.

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I relate to Brown's idea, "Embarrassment is normally fleeting and can usually eventually be funny," on page 105. I relate to this because I know many times when I have been embarrassed then after the fact I laugh about it.

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In this section, Brown shares two different stories from two leaders, one in a retail corporation and the other in a junior high school. I feel the difference in the roles of each of these leaders really drive home the idea she sets out in this section about how it doesn't matter what you are a leader of; it just matters that you are leading from a desire to be curious and to be a leader.

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In this section, Brown shares two different stories from two leaders, one in a retail corporation and the other in a junior high school. I feel the difference in the roles of each of these leaders really drive home the idea she sets out in this section about how it doesn't matter what you are a leader of; it just matters that you are leading from a desire to be curious and to be a leader.

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"Easy building doesn't build strong skills." Found on page 134 under the influential section talking about learning from our practice and repetition is one of my favorite lines from Brown's text. I think this quote is so true for our every day lives. If we choose to take the easy way out in every chance we get, we will not learn to build strong skills and improve ourselves.

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“The big takeaway from this section is that empathy is at the heart of connection— it is the circuit board from leaning into the feelings of others, reflecting back a shared experience of the world, and reminding them that they are not alone. To be able to stand in discomfort with people who are processing shame, or hurt, or disappointment, or hardships, and to be able to say to them “I see you, and I can hold space for this” is the epitome of courage. The best part is that empathy is not hardwires into out genetic code: We can learn it. And we need to, because as the poet June Jordan wrote, “We are the ones we have been waiting for.” (129)

This quote from page 129 teaches us that empathy is not a weakness. We need empathy because that is what gives all of  us a connection in the first place.

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"Having the ground confidence to rely on the skills we've developed over time allows us to focus on higher-order objective, challenges, and goals." This quote I think is very strong and can apply to anyone. I really relate to this quote along the lines of sports and having to do very fundamental skills, so that I can then focus on the tougher and more complicated things. Page 132.

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Browns quote, "And vulnerability never becomes comfortable, but practicing means that when vulnerability is washing over us, we can hear grounded confidence whisper in our ear 'This is hard and uncomfortable. You may not know how it's going to turn out, but you are strong and you have practiced what it takes to create and hold space for this'"(134) shows that being vulnerable will never be easy but learning how to deal with it makes you stronger. Having confidence helps grow and know how to deal with vulnerability.

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Brown says, "Easy learning doesn't build strong skills." (134) It may have felt good to have learned something easy, but will it eventually help you in the long run? If you memorized answers for a test are you going to know those answers in a year or so? Taking the easy way isn't always the best decision because you don't obtain the right information or skills that you need in life.

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In section 5, Brené talks about difficult conversations and there was one line on page 135 that I really liked. "I don't want to talk about this because I'm not sure how it is going to go...." Not only is this relevant in difficult conversations, it is relevant in life. What is stopping you from going for your dreams? Uncertainty?

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The idea of "Armored Leadership" was totally new for me. The quote Brown used from Daring Greatly on page 66 was a great introduction to the idea. It spoke about "protecting ourselves from vulnerability" and "using our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors as weapons." This made me think back to times when I put up walls because I was nervous. Being an Armored Leader is way different than being a daring leader, and she gives us 16 examples to help push this point through.

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"...when we think about how millennials and Gen Zers were raised, many of their parents swaddled them in armor out of the own lack of confidence as parents and people." (Pg. 131) I like this because it shows that people can pass on their lack of courage, making people who could have been great leaders fear vulnerability and curiosity. This is the opposite of the courage and leader culture she desires.

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"Shame is universal and one of the most primitive human emotions that we experience." On page 101, Brown adds this section into her text. She is talking about the "Shame 1-2-3's" and how er handle them as humans. I was surprised by this statistic to see that shame is one of the most primitive human emotions because although we do not think about it, we all feel shameful sometimes.

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"Curiosity is an act of vulnerability and courage." Pg. 135

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Brown's analogy of the iceberg of emotions in the "Navigating the Iceberg" subsection was powerful for me. She explains how certain emotions that we see on the surface show up because the real emotion is so hard to fully express, and it is the complexity of that difficult emotion that lies beneath the surface. So it's a good reminder to recognize that when someone shows anger or silence on the surface, that we should be trying to seek the "much more nuance and depth" of the emotion below.

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Brown's analogy of the iceberg of emotions in the "Navigating the Iceberg" subsection was powerful for me. She explains how certain emotions that we see on the surface show up because the real emotion is so hard to fully express, and it is the complexity of that difficult emotion that lies beneath the surface. So it's a good reminder to recognize that when someone shows anger or silence on the surface, that we should be trying to seek the "much more nuance and depth" of the emotion below.

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Brown firmly states, "...I define narcissism as the shame-based fear of being ordinary," on page 104. Many things drive fears, but I think I connected so much with this line because shame and uncertainty drive many peoples fears, including my own. We never know what someone is going through to drive their fears or provoke their emotions, so clear and utter kindness is always important.

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I loved Brown's writing on page 103 saying, "Guilt= I did something bad. Shame= I am bad." This use of writing is very strong and to the point in saying that guilt and shame are two completely different things. Guilt is when you feel bad about something you did, and shame is when you feel bad about who you are. People confuse the two but really shame is a much more powerful internal war.

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"We may not be able to relate to the exact examples, but if we know ourselves and are in touch with our vulnerability, we can recognize that unbearable pain in other people’s experiences. Shame is universal." Pg. 103

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I learned a lot from Brown's section "Sympathy vs. Empathy," on pages 121-120. It showed me the difference between the two  and I will try to be more aware of what I'm projecting to others.

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"Easy learning doesn't build strong skills." Page 134

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(101) Brown has a subheading titled "Shame 101" under it are three numbers all including different things about shame.
"1. We all have it shame is universal and one of the most primitive human emotions that we experience. The only people who don't experience shame are those who lack the capacity for empathy and human connection. ...."
2. We're all afraid to talk about shame. Just the word is uncomfortable.
3. The less we talk about shame, the more control it has over our lives."
I really like this because shame is something that no one wants to talk about because they're embarrassed. It's a hard thing for everyone to talk about.

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"People believe they deserve their shame; they do not believe they deserve their humiliation." This quote on page 104 really captures the idea of shame and how we think we may deserve the shame but not goes along with.

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On page 133: "Having the rumbling skills to hold the tension and discomfort allows us to give care and attention to others, stay open and curious, and meet the challenges." This quote is important to me because it shows that we as humans can better each other by holding each other accountable and paying attention to each other; making things awkward can sometimes be beneficial and hurdling the challenges between us can unlock new doors.

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On page 87 of Dare to Lead, Brown says that “worthiness is a function of productivity” and that we lose some abilities because the “idea of doing something that doesn’t add to the bottom line provokes stress and anxiety.” I liked this quote because it is very truthful. If we’re on an absolute roll doing work, why would we stop our great headspace and go do something else that disrupts it?

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"I think of my ego as my inner hustler." This short quote on page 65 made me really think. In this section Brown explains how our ego avoids the discomfort that comes with feeling vulnerable. She described how our heart is much larger than our ego. I liked that this was used to show that it is okay to be vulnerable and that the need too be liked is unnecessary.

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"We can't celebrate right now because we don't know if it's going to be perfect, we don't know if it's going to work..." I think the addition of this section, on page 70, into the text made her preaching about being vulnerable seem so much more real. This quote talks about how we wait to be happy about things until we know that they are perfect in fear of being embarrassed, when in reality we may not always have this time to wait. I think this is a very influential quote to myself as a person, as well as to the text as a whole.

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I liked Brown's insert on page 71, because it shows that it doesn't matter how much or what people do, everyone is important. 'Whether we're leading a group or a member of the team... it is our responsibility to say to the people who work alongside us:"We've got to stop and celebrate one another and our victories, no matter how small."'

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"But in our family being sick is lazy, and if you're tough enough, you can walk off anything. Trust me when I tell you no one who lives by this loves it, but the shame is so enveloping that it's hard to break free." (Pg. 99) I like this because it shows that learned ideas can be hard to break because there is shame behind changing something that you had lived by for most of your life, especially with consequences such as being called weak and lazy, as in the quote.

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"Perfectionism is a defensive move." (67) This quote spoke to me because being perfect is  something no one can achieve. Everyone has flaws and they're something to embrace, not something to disregard.

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"Shame is the intense painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefor unworthy of love, belonging, and connection." This is found on page 102. I find this to be true in my own life and agree with it 100%.

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Page 104: "Shame is not a compass for moral behavior." This quote speaks to me because it shows that people can't make excuses for their shame by thinking that it is only driving us to be better as human beings; it is only doing the opposite. We should live with less shame because more shame means less empathy.

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I was shocked to see Brown's statistic on page 81 of the book that "90 percent of us" feel a sudden "fear wash over" us when we were feeling joyful. I find this to be true in my own world, and I see how vulnerable that makes me and how much it can affect the attitude of the world and its leaders.

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On page 64 Brown talks about integration of our thinking, feeling, and behavior. She makes the point that we must "pull down the armor and bring forth all the scraggly, misshapen pieces of our history and folding in all of the different roles that, when falsely separated, keep us feeling exhausted and torn, to make a complex, messy, awesome, whole person." This instantly brought me back to her first narrative she discussed with us coining the phrase, "people, people, people." Everyone, in their own way, has a past and a direction for the future. Understanding and accepting yourself is the first step to leading others.

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"The greatest barrier to true belonging is fitting in or changing who we are so we can be accepted." (88) I really like this quote because it is so true with many people that I know. They try to fit in rather than standing out and it's so hard to tell them that they can be a bigger better person but you would rather just see them happy.

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I really liked the quote, "We cannot selectively numb emotion. If we numb the dark, we numb the light" (72). It is very hard to hear but truthful at the same time. You cannot tune out or avoid all bad emotions you don't want to feel if you want to get better. You have to recognize them because soon enough you'll start to tune out all the good emotions too.

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"The problem is that when we imprison the heart, we kill courage." (Pg. 64) I like this because it shows that when we cut off our feelings and refuse to talk about them, we are destroying the vulnerability that creates courage and leadership. It is necessary to let your emotions out to show your courage.

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It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.

Pg. 63

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On page 66 there is a chart on the difference between armored and daring leadership. It makes so many good points and gives great examples.

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On the second paragraph on page 63, I love the confidence that is portrayed. Like the quote: "No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough." This is a very strong quote that talks about being wholehearted.

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"Sick, unreliable, and undependable are huge unwanted identities for me. As a fifth generation German American Texan, I grew up believing that illness is weakness. Not in other people -- in other people it's human and okay and we should support and help. But in our family being sick is lazy, and if you're tough enough, you can walk off anything." page 99

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Brown's addition of a quote from Joseph Campbell on page 51 added very real and pure content to her writing. Campbell says '"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek."' I think this is a very bold quote to add because it approaches a subject that not many people like to talk about: fear. Though we may fear certain things in life, we must overcome those fears in order to find the things we seek in life.

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"Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind." Pg . 48

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On page 48, Brown writes "Feeding people half-truths or bullshit to make them feel better (which is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable) is unkind" I like this because I think that this happens very often and it's an important thing to realize. Thinking about others before you speak to them will almost always result in more effective and more kind communication.

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"Daring leadership is ultimately about serving other people, not ourselves. That's why we choose courage." (61) I really like this quote because it reminds me that others are so much more important than myself and that I need to put others in front of myself in order to be a good leader.

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“Feeding people half-truths or bullshit to make them feel better (which is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable) in unkind. Not getting clear with a colleague about your expectations because it feels hard, yet holding them accountable or blaming them for not delivering is unkind. Talking about people rather than to them is unkind.” This quote on page 48 speaks to me loudly. If I want to be a good leader, I need to understand that the truth is better for people than kindness, because not being honest with them is unkind. You need to hold yourself and your peers accountable for what you know they can do, not just what they want to do.

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On page 75: "We all need to belong, and we all need love, and neither is possible without vulnerability and integration." This quote speaks to me because it shows that we need to let go, be vulnerable, and be daring in order to belong and feel the love that we need.

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I really loved Brown's assertion on page 58 of the book (right above "The Power and Wisdom to Serve Others" subsection) that leaders apologizing is not a sign of weakness but is a skill necessary to be a brave leaders. I think this is key to modeling for those you are leading that they have to be both brave and humble. It's hard to do much if you have or a dealing with someone who has a huge ego.

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"Wholeheartedness captures the essence of a fully examined emotional life and a liberated heart, one that is free and vulnerable enough to love and be loved" Page 63

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I really loved Brene's third and fourth paragraphs on page 125 because it spoke of things that I personally struggle with. Being empathetic and being vulnerable means being understanding to others, but to yourself as well. "Self-kindness is self-empathy" really struck a chord within me because though I want to be as empathetic and kind to other people, I haven't thought about doing this myself. I catch myself saying a lot of critical things to myself and never really thought about how this would affect me as a leader. Like Brene, I would never say half of the things to my family or friends that I say to myself. Reading this really made me realize how self-shaming has been a prominent part of my thinking and ultimately holding me back from being my own leader in my life.

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"If we shield ourselves from all feedback, we stop growing." found on page 29. I think this quote is among my favorites of Brown's because i opens up the topic of taking criticism and how some people will close this off once they do not want to receive it anymore. This means that in turn, we will stop growing and learning more and more about ourselves. This proves true in my experiences thus far in life.

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"What is the treasure I seek? ... Less feeling alone. More working together towards goals that excite all of us." This line interested me because to work together best, we need to find things that interest us all the most. We don't have to work without help.

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"What this means is that we must find the courage to get curious and possibly surface emotions and emotional experiences that people can't articulate or that might be happening outside of their awareness" (60). This quote really spoke to me because I think that it is so true when trying to figure out problems. You have to find the courage to be vulnerable and let out your emotions if you really want to get through a situation, even though it's hard to show that side to people.

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"Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind." page 48. This is so true in todays world. It seems like people are afraid to tell other the truth just to not hurt their feelings. For example, I can't get better in football if coaches aren't hard on me.

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"Courage and fear are not mutually
exclusive. Most of us feel brave and afraid at the exact same time." Pg. 22

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I really connected with the statement, "If you a reputation for being an idealist, you lose credibility and trust. If you're forced to be the reality-checker, you never get the opportunity to take chances and risk," on page 54. I appreciated the honesty of it. Growing up you are trying to discover who you are and where your passions lie, but also taking into account everyone else's perspective of you. It is important to know that you do not have to be only one thing, but it is okay to possess a multitude of qualities.

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"When Luke asks what's in the cave, Yoda explains, 'Only what you take with you'" (Pg. 49) I like this sentence because it shows that in our lives, the things that are holding a lot of people back aren't lack of skills or talent, but fear and anxiety, just like why Luke had problem with the Force.

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"... You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end---which you can never afford to lose--with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality..." I really like this line because we as leaders can not forget the facts of life, while also trying to have faith. You must have both, without confusing the two. Page 54.

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"Less fear, scarcity, and anxiety. Less feeling alone. More working together toward goals that excite all of us." pg. 51.  This quote  from Dare to Lead leaves you thinking about how you feel.

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"Cruelty is cheap, easy, and chickenshit. It doesn't deserve your energy or engagement." This quote, on page 21 of the book, really spoke to me because I believe too many people get caught up in engaging with every little thing tweeted, reposted, or said in haste. If we stop and think first, and realize that it's not worth the fight, we can avoid so much unproductivity and pain.

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We're not doing enough, someone else is going to think of this idea before we get it done, look what everyone else is doing." Page 50

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Page 47: "The fact that he was saying all of this in a kind way and not being crappy made it worse." I liked this because Brown was discussing how her husband made it clear to her that she was not good at estimating time. He didn't mean this in order to offend her; he was just being clear and truthful in order to be kind and benefit his wife. Even though it can be difficult to accept what is clear and honest, those who are willing to act in such an honest way are genuinely kind.

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I connected with the idea, "We've spent a disproportionally large amount of time on rumbling with vulnerability for a simple reason: It's the fundamental skill of courage building," on page 131. I related this idea to learning the fundamental skills in sports. It showed me how important it is to learn the basics first before trying to jump straight into a leadership role.

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"Adaptability to  change, hard conversations, feedback, problem solving, ethical decision making, recognition, resilience, and all of the other skills that underpin daring leadership are born of vulnerability." This quote is on page 44 and I felt that it was an important piece of text because it reiterated the fact that the skills we use regarding leadership, specifically daring leadership are created and built due to vulnerability. Daring leadership stems from vulnerability.

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"To feel is to be vulnerable. Believing that vulnerability is weakness is believing that feeling is weakness. And, like it or not, we are emotional beings." (44) I like this because I myself am a very emotional person and it kinda just gave me reassurance that I'm not the only one that's emotional.

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"...we don't derive strength from our rugged individualism, but rather from our collective ability to plan, communicate, and work together." I like this because she's saying that in order to be our strongest, we have to work together rather than against each other or even just alone

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"Vulnerability is not winning or losing. It's having the courage to show up when you can't control the outcome." (Pg. 28) I like this because it shows that vulnerability is not giving up when you know that there is a chance that you might not win or come out ahead.

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“If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I’m not interested in or open to your feedback, There are a million cheap seats in the world today filled with people who will never be brave with their lives but who will spend every ounce of energy they have hurling advice and judgement at those who dare greatly.” This quote on pages 28 and 29 speaks the blunt, honest truth. You should never take advice or criticism from someone who just sits back and watches you get the work get done.

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"To love is to be vulnerable" pg. 29. I like this line because it is very simple but had its own line in the text. It was simple but yet powerful.

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"...vulnerability is the cradle of the emotions and experiences that we crave. Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, and joy" (44). I like this annotation because it explains that vulnerability is the main source of our emotions. It shows that our emotion all starts with how vulnerable we are to a situation.

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"We have to avoid the cheap-seats feedback and stay armor-free." Page 29

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"When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability," found on page 31. I think this line has a lot of truth to it, and it gives the reader a point of reflection (at least it did for me). Reflect on where they are in their life and how vulnerability has played a part in it.

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On page 30 and 31 she talks about her speaking to soldiers. "Can you give me single example of courage that you've witnessed in another soldier or experienced in your own life that did not require experiencing vulnerability?" That is a tough question. It shows her point that vulnerability isn't weakness.

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"Vulnerability is the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure." I like this because it gave a straightforward explain of what vulnerability is, and for us to be to be leaders, we first must understand what vulnerability is. Page 31.

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"Cruelty is cheap, easy, and chickenshit. It doesn't deserve your energy or engagement." I liked this because it shows that when being vulnerable, you can either handle it in a successful or unsuccessful way. It order to be successfully vulnerable, cruelty must be completely blocked out.