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Free Social Work Tools and Resources: SocialWorkersToolbox.com

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Explaining ADHD: Videos for Children & Teens - Free Social Work Tools and Resources: SocialWorkersToolbox.com

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What is ADHD? This animated video, narrated by Molly, provides a child-friendly explanation of ADHD, aiming to educate and dispel misconceptions. It offers valuable insights into the condition for school…

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Read the poem by Sam (aged 10) and his mum Victoria, and watch him read it out.

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Useful school related resources | Autism Space | Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust

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Online resources

Books
'Championing Your Autistic Teen at Secondary School: Getting the Best from Mainstream Settings' by Debby Elly
From choosing the right school for your child (and spotting the tell-tale signs of the wrong one), to preparing both your child and the new school for the transition, to overcoming barriers and building a positive, collaborative and effective relationship between home and school. Tackling key topics from the point of view of both parent and teacher and using examples of great practice, this contains everything you need to know to build a more positive secondary school experience for your child.
'Nurturing Your Autistic Young Person - A Parent's Handbook to Supporting Newly Diagnosed Teens and Pre-Teens' by Cathy Wassell
This book contains a wealth of information on autism related topics. It is for parents and would also be useful for any teacher who needs to know more about their autistic students. It includes the useful and informative chapter 'Autism in School'
'Autism, Bullying and Me: The Really Useful Stuff You Need To Know About Coping with Bullying' by Emily Lovegrove 'Square Pegs: Inclusivity, Compassion and Fitting in - a Guide for Schools' by Fran Morgan and Ellie Costello.
This book is for educational professionals - but might give parents some ideas about what to expect and ask from schools.
'Learning from Autistic Teachers: How to be a Neurodiversity Inclusive School' by Wood, Crane, Morrison and Moyse
Create a Self Care Plan

Here's a great leaflet to advise young people on how to make a self-care plan . It offers tips on how to look after your mental health and wellbeing, so that you feel happy in school or college and get the most out of school and college experiences.
Click here for the link to the School Self Care Plan
Support Services

IPSEA

IPSEA offers free and independent legally based information, advice and support to help get the right education for children and young people with all kinds of special educational needs and disabilities (SEND).  Click this link to go to their website.

Leicestershire inclusion service

If you're concerned about a child's or young person's access to, or inclusion in, high quality education, employment, or training in Leicestershire click this link for more information.

Leicestershire SEND hub

The Leicestershire SEND Hub is a parent carer led organisation for families of children and young people with additional or special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) who live or access services in Leicestershire. They aim to be a bridge between parent carers and their service providers.

For more information about this organisation, click the following link:
https://www.leicestershiresendhub.org.uk/
Home Education

If you decide that elective home education is the right option for you child, it's vital to understand what that entails before making any decisions. Click this link for more information.

If your child is in a school in Leicestershire and you decide to home educate
Link for more information
If your child is in a school in Leicester and you decide to home educate
Link for more information
For links to all our school related articles, click on the link below:
Supporting your autistic child through school

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Useful school related resources | Autism Space | Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust

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Discover a wide range of additional school related resources, including useful websites and insightful books.

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Why does my autistic child suddenly meltdown "out of nowhere"? - Reachout ASC

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*"A meltdown (or shutdown) is when a child becomes very distressed and emotionally overwhelmed. They can be caused by many different factors, such as situations that are unpredictable, sudden changes or things not happening as the child was expecting. They can also be delayed as the child takes time to process a difficult situation and sometimes are caused by a build up of stressors so not one particular thing has triggered the distress. The child in meltdown does not intend to hurt or harm or indeed cannot often control what is happening to them. They are often frightened, overloaded and the way we react to them can often make it worse, not that we ever intend that!" Lynn McCann Understanding some of the triggers and also how to support a child from meltdown to recovery can take some working out - but here, Sarah Loveridge, one of our specialist teachers, gives some advice on where to look first.
Whether you're a teacher, TA or parent of an autistic child, we've all been there. Everything seems to be going fine and then seemingly "out of nowhere" we've got a huge meltdown on our hands. Where did it come from? Was it something we said?

Believing that meltdowns come from nowhere is a dangerous notion. It leads to a sense of helplessness and frustration in us as adults as we scramble to try and figure out what's caused this outburst of emotion. It also changes our perceptions towards autistic (and non-autistic!) children, painting them as unpredictable, out of control or just plain stroppy. Behaviour is often a communication that something isn't right or that some need isn't being met (whether that's a toddler "needing" a toy at the supermarket, or a teenager "needing" to feel accepted, loved and supported - both demonstrations of a certain behaviour tell us something).

It might help to picture your autistic child as a bottle of fizzy drink. Every time they get triggered, they're shaken up a little bit. This keeps happening throughout the day until suddenly the lid comes off and their emotions (sometimes quite literally) go everywhere. This is what we call a meltdown (or shutdown, when they internalise their distress) and it can often appear to come "out of nowhere". This is because the triggers have been building up gradually until it all becomes too much.

The good news is that whilst with autistic children it's never one-size-fits-all, there are usually some patterns we can look out for to help us support our autistic children before they hit the meltdown stage.

If we can spot these triggers and patterns throughout the day, then we're one step closer to supporting our children better through the chaos that is daily life. This list is by no means exhaustive, but here are some key areas to look out for:

Often it is the actions of others that can cause the build up of stress and pressure. If the child isn't being supported correctly at school, or if they are being picked on, left out or bullied by others. Check these issues out too. If a child can't tell you, you will have to investigate and trust your instincts as parents or as professionals.

1. Whether your autistic child is non-verbal, talks a lot and has mature vocabulary, or is somewhere in between, they all have their own ways of communicating. If we push them to communicate constantly in a way that is difficult for them (eg lots of verbal communication with little or no visual support) then this can be very draining and may lead to meltdowns later in the day.

TOP TIP: Use visuals as much as possible rather than just relying on verbal communication, and make it a two way street. Get them to show you how they're feeling or what they want, rather than trying to explain it. Use visual timetables to plan out the day and prepare them for any changes. Show them pictures of new or unfamiliar places (like the dentist) rather than just telling them. Using visuals can reduce anxiety and therefore hopefully also reduce meltdowns. We also need to give processing time - so pause often and don't be too quick to repeat or rephrase something.

2. Some autistic children are very keen to chat, and will talk to you for hours about their special interest or ask a hundred questions about why you're doing something. Although this may sound completely effortless it can actually be very draining, especially if they're talking to somebody new.

TOP TIP: If you spot a pattern of your child being very talkative in the morning and then having consistent meltdowns in the afternoon, this might mean they need some help spreading their communication energy out throughout the day. Make sure they have access to sensory activities to support their energy levels and if you say you will have a chat later - make that a specific time and keep to it. They might need help recognising that they need some alone time in the afternoon to recharge. It's all about balance - if they're able to do a 2 hour presentation to a room full of people, great! Don't stop them from doing that, but be aware that they will probably need to ensure nothing else is planned in for the rest of the day.

3. This is heavily linked to communication and can be vastly different from day to day, depending on who your child is interacting with and how that interaction goes. Again, if they are in a new or unfamiliar situation (eg talking to a grandparent they haven't seen for 3 years) then this will put more pressure and strain on them than if they're talking to you or someone else they see regularly (and like!)

TOP TIP: Put some structure in place around social interactions. Maybe they could play their favourite card game with the new person and explain the rules carefully at the start. Maybe they can take some pictures of their special interest so they have something familiar to talk about. Keep the interactions short if possible, and you might want to discuss this time limit with your child beforehand. Again, they may need some time to regulate/recharge after a new interaction, so plan this into your day too.

And let's remember the other side too - it shouldn't all be up to the autistic child to change their behaviour. Tell the relation or visitor what their role is in this, for example you could encourage them not to keep asking questions or demand hugs. Ask them to give your child space if they want it and time to process. If you manage the time and intensity of new social interactions carefully, this can minimise the risk of a meltdown later on.

4. Social interactions in large groups can be very difficult for autistic children, as they try to focus in on lots of different people talking at once (especially if they have sensory needs - we'll come back to that). Again, these times are often unstructured (eg playtime at school or playing football with friends) and it can be draining for your child to try and work out all the social rules required for them to "fit in" with those around them. Should they shout "goal!" every time someone scores? Does everyone hi-five or just certain people? How much eye contact does this game require? Why is everyone wearing a coat even though it's sunny?

TOP TIP: Encourage the other children to explain rules of games very clearly (eg in our running race, where do we start and end? When do we go? etc) - it shouldn't all be reliant on the autistic child changing to fit in so teach neurotypical (non-autistic) children how to adapt too. Give your autistic child an "out", whether this is a space where they can go and sit if it starts to become overwhelming or a "job" they can do to get away for a bit. Again, be aware that after spending time in a group, your child may need some time alone or with one "safe" person to recharge. And also let's remember, some autistic children might use playtime as a chance to regulate themselves after sitting in a noisy classroom during lessons so sitting alone might be just what they need.

to give all children some specific praise when they interact well with those around them - things like "well done, you made space for each other" or "thanks for allowing everyone to choose a rule in your game" or "well done for giving each other a turn". By stating specifically what they did well, we can give them some helpful clues about how to understand the social things around them whilst also explaining to others the social communication of your autistic child.

5. Sensory needs that aren't being met can be a constant source of frustration, confusion and sometimes even pain for an autistic child. For example, they may be hypo-sensitive which means their senses are under-stimulated and they fidget because their muscles are not giving the brain strong enough signals. To counteract this feeling, they rock on their chair or get up and walk around to wake their body up. On the other hand, they might be hyper-sensitive which means their senses are over-stimulated and light/sound/textures can become overwhelming. To deal with this, they may sing to themselves to block out other sounds, put their hands over their ears, run away or may hide under tables to get away from the light.

TOP TIP: It can be easy to create a "sensory safe space" at home or in your classroom by using a teepee, pop up tent or even just a blanket draped over a table. Ideally it will be quiet and fairly dimly lit, to minimise the potential for sensory over-stimulation. Create it together so it's somewhere special and personalised for them. You could put a favourite book in there, or some music they like or a big beanbag to give their muscles some sensory feedback (especially if they're hyposensitive) - personalise it together. This can then be used as a retreat throughout the day ( before they become overwhelmed) to help them regulate, therefore reducing the risk of future meltdowns. It can also be a safe space to access during a meltdown to help them calm.

- if they need movement then make it happen! Let them sit on a peanut or body ball, use a trampet, go for a walk or stretch with a yoga band. Let's not teach children to suppress these needs but rather give them strategies and space to help them get sensory feedback in appropriate and safe ways.

6. If your autistic child's senses are being over-stimulated they may live each day in a constant state of high alert. We might think they are anxious and worried all the time. Ever wonder why your child's eyes dart around the room whenever someone moves? Or how they know exactly where each fire exit is? Or why they "patrol" the perimeter of your picnic blanket? Things that may seem small to us, like preferring a certain pencil or not liking the consistency of some foods can have a huge impact on how well autistic children are able to function from day to day.

TOP TIP: Don't assume that a child is just being "fussy" or "picky" if they refuse certain objects or food. If possible, open a conversation with them about why they don't like it. What in particular is making them squirm or refuse? Make a little note of it and see if you can start to spot any patterns. This will help you to understand your child more and figure out ways how to work around potential triggers that may lead to a meltdown later in the day. Pick your battles - do they have to eat porridge for breakfast or could they have some dry cereal? Is it vital that they wear a coat or can they manage without?
Recommended further reading - The Out-of-Sync child by Carol Stock-Kranovitz.
There is so much more we could say on this and we know that every child is different so be kind to yourself. It will take time and patience to figure out those specific trigger points but hopefully by starting to spot patterns throughout the day, the links between potential triggers and future meltdowns will become a little bit clearer. Your child will communicate to you and you can be their advocate. If they need adjustments, it's the right thing to do.

Keep going, you're doing a great job!

Written by Sarah Loveridge - Reachout ASC Teacher, May 2021

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Why does my autistic child suddenly meltdown "out of nowhere"? - Reachout ASC

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"A meltdown (or shutdown) is when a child becomes very distressed and emotionally overwhelmed. They can be caused by many different factors, such as situations that are unpredictable, sudden changes or things not happening as the child was expecting. They can also be delayed as the child takes time to process a difficult situation and [...]

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What is it like to parent a child with ADHD?

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What is it like to parent a child with ADHD

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What is it like to parent a child with ADHD

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Parenting a child with ADHD can be a challenge, but it can also be a joy.
Cheryl and Richard are learning to deal with the ups and downs of ADHD since Alexander was diagnosed at the beginning of lockdown. For Tilly and her daughter, Molly, ADHD has been a shared journey that has brought them closer.

Learn more about their stories, and their tips and advice for other parents, here...

Video Transcript Video Transcript

Tilly: Children are no different, what they really need is someone to talk to, someone to understand them and if you have a child with ADHD, they need that even more so

Alexander: Ready?!

Tilly: Hi, I'm Tilly.

Richard, Cheryl and Alexander: and we are... the Jenkinsons!

Tilly: and this is...

Molly: (singing) Molly yeah!

Cheryl: Alexander has masses of energy. He loves running and climbing and jumping. Sit down please!

Tilly: I'm very proud of Molly. She's very kind and caring and loving. She's super creative...

Molly: - Super creative!

Richard: You really like to make people smile; you make them laugh.

Alexander: Yeah!

Tilly: There is never a dull moment (laughs).

Cheryl: We found out that Alexander had ADHD when he was six, just at the start of the pandemic.

Tilly: How old were you when you were diagnosed with ADHD?

Molly: I was seven years old.

Cheryl: He was finding it hard to concentrate on anything for more than a minute. His brain never switches off and he was making quite dangerous and impulsive decisions at times.

Alexander: I've run off.

Richard: And you were running off as well, weren't you?

Tilly: A child, in particular with ADHD, will feel a lot of the time misunderstood, not heard.

Richard: We're finding it pretty hard work, pretty exhausting to be honest and at times it felt almost a bit hopeless.

Molly: I'm the same as everybody else, it's just...

Tilly: Your mind works a bit differently, that's all.

Molly: Yeah. There are certain things that I struggle with but that never makes me stop trying.

Cheryl: The ADHD diagnosis has been life-changing.

Richard: We feel that finally we've been able to get him some help.

Tilly: ADHD is part of her build-up, part of her individuality and without ADHD you wouldn't be you, would you?

Richard: We feel a little bit more equipped to help and support him into the future.

Molly: I think ADHD just makes me be me.

Cheryl: Things that work well for us include really good routines, lots of praise, staying calm and lots of tickles.

Tilly: Show the world yourself...

Molly: Show the world that you are you and nobody in the world can change that.

Tilly: Yeah, a hundred percent.

Molly: Except you.

Tips and advice for parents

1. Allow them to be themselves

ADHD is part of your child's unique makeup and celebrating their individuality builds self-confidence and happiness. Those with ADHD have brains that operate differently, and this might make certain things harder but, as parents have discovered, it can also lead to fun and originality.

2. Listen, talk and understand

Communication is vital. Listen to your child's opinion of their needs and take the time to explain what ADHD is in way that they understand. Being understanding of their perspective on their difficulties helps you to be on the same page as a family.

3. Be patient

For children with ADHD, focussing on one specific task at a time can be challenging. It is important not to take this personally. If you feel like your child isn't listening to instructions, or is quickly distracted, keep in mind that this may be a reflection of their ADHD, rather than their relationship with you. Taking this into account can help you come to the table with a calmer, more accepting mindset.

4. Put routines in place

Routines are helpful for all children, but even more so for those with ADHD. A set structure for family life means that they have less to remember. If they know what they have to do every day, this builds habits that can result in fewer conflicts which will ultimately assist your child in feeling calm and in control.

5. Find the help they need

Your child may need more specialised help to aid them in managing their ADHD. There are evidence-based treatments for ADHD which include both behavioural interventions and, in some children, medication. These can really make a difference in helping your child both at school and at home.

In the first instance, discuss any concerns with your child's teacher at school, or their Special Educational Needs Co-Ordinator (SENCO). You can also talk to your GP who can explain the local process for ADHD assessment.

More from BBC Bitesize Parents' Toolkit...

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What is it like to parent a child with ADHD?

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Real-life parents talk about their experiences having a child with ADHD - the challenges and joys - and offer their own advice for parents in a similar situation.

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1. Encourage good sleeping habits
We know lots of children with ADHD struggle with their sleep and this can cause problems concentrating at school. Speak to your GP or paediatrician if your child has persistent problems with sleep.
2. Make instructions simple
Avoid giving them long, complicated or multi-part instructions. Make their tasks small and give them lots of praise when they get it right.
3. Offer breaks
If you think an activity is going to be demanding, be proactive and build in short breaks. This will help make the activity feel more manageable.
4. Keep a simple routine
Routines help children, including those with ADHD, focus on one thing at a time. If they know what they are doing every day, this helps them to keep organised. Make sure their meals are regular, including a good breakfast so that they are not hungry at school.
5. Help them understand their ADHD
As a parent, you should talk to your child about their ADHD. You could focus on the positives of having ADHD and highlight your child's unique strengths - from their personality, to their passions. Your doctor can help support you in this with age-appropriate resources for children about ADHD.

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1. Encourage good sleeping habits We know lots of children with ADHD struggle with their sleep and this can cause problems concentrating at school. Speak to your GP or paediatrician if your child has persistent problems with sleep. 2. Make instructions simple Avoid giving them long, complicated or multi-part instructions.

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Preparing my autistic children for the return to school

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Rhi is a mum of four, living in Wales, who has autistic children. Here she offers her tips for how you can prepare and support your autistic child as they return to school after time at home.

Rhi's tips

Talk to your child about what they can expect when they return to school. Their timetable especially, including lunchtime!

Help them to identify and share their emotions with you.

If they're feeling anxious, talk about breathing exercises or grounding - which could include hugging and talking through what they can see, hear, smell, taste and feel - then try them together! You could even fit these techniques into your schedule at home.

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Preparing my autistic children for the return to school

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Mum-of-four Rhi offers some advice for helping to prepare your child with an autism diagnosis for the return from home to school.

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Inside Our Autistic Minds: What parents can learn about masking and non-speaking autism

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In the BBC documentary Inside Our Autistic Minds, presented by Chris Packham, autistic people created films which present their lives in a new light. What can we, as parents, learn about autistic masking, camouflaging and non-speaking autism from these films?

Parents' Toolkit has spoken to Professor Francesca Happé, from King's College London - who has 30 years of experience in specialist research into autism - about two films from the documentary. The films are a collaboration with Flo and Murray - sharing their experience in their own words - as they explore the challenges of autistic masking and communicating without speech.

Stand-up comedian Flo is 28 and lives in Wiltshire with her husband Duncan. Her film focuses on her experience of masking...

Video Transcript Video Transcript

Flo Thank you - slightly overestimated how tall I am there.

Flo To my mum... I knew from a very young age that I was different, we both did. The way I'd sort my toys, I'd insist on different plates for different foods - and birthday parties made me anxious, and by the time I was four years old I became so sure that if I didn't hide my differences people wouldn't like me.

Flo So I became a version of myself I thought those around me would accept. I became a mimic, copying other people, imitating normal behaviour, and suppressing anything weird. For most people these rules come naturally, automatically. Their faces match their voices, match their feelings. But I had to think about every little thing. In the end I put so much effort into this mask of normality that nobody could even tell that I had one. When you're autistic, masking, camouflaging, it's a survival strategy. Its to avoid judgement or avoid bullying. It's a way to fit into the non-autistic world.

Flo I have masked with everybody in my life, including you, mum, I wanted to be the perfect child. I wanted to make you proud. But now, I'm tired. It's exhausting pretending to be normal all the time. I'm beginning to think it might be time to embrace my authentic self to show you the things you don't normally see. But I'm scared. I'm worried that if I'm quiet and still, and my face doesn't match my feelings then you'll think that I'm being rude. I'm worried that if you see me rocking back and forth or flapping my hands then you'll think that I'm not ok, and I'm worried that if you see me silent, unable to speak you'll think that I need fixing. It might not come easily for me straight away but I'm ready to be myself. I hope you won't be disappointed. I love you always. Your daughter, Flo.

Flo's mum You alright?

Flo Yeah.

Flo's mum Love you.

Flo I love you.

Flo's mum I want to scoop up the five year old you and...

Flo Me too.

Flo's mum ...And say its ok.

Flo Yeah.

Flo's mum And if we could turn the clock back, and I knew what I know today it would be, maybe I would have been able to give you some reassurance about... it's ok. It's absolutely ok you know?

Flo Yeah, all through my childhood and my teenage life and my adult life you've been so accepting, I'm going to cry, of everything that I am.

Flo's mum Because you're lovely.

Flo I'm alright.

Flo But like, its scary being different, it wasn't anything about you. It was the world really.

Flo's mum No but I, please you know you don't have to mask in front of me anymore.

Flo That's why, that's why I wanted this video for you.

Flo's mum Yeah.

Flo I wanted this film to tell you that. But it's been really hard to go, I've always been kind of acting.

Flo's mum Yeah.

Flo I didn't expect to get snotty.

Flo's mum I know, do you want a tissue?

Flo Thank you.

"Masking and camouflaging are when people hide parts of themselves or suppress certain behaviours, interests or ways of being that would be natural to them," explains Professor Happé. "They do this in order to fit in with neurotypical society."

Thinking about how neurotypical people (people who are not autistic or neurodivergent) mask, can be a helpful way to understand how neurodivergent people mask.

Professor Happé says, "If you think about situations where any of us have had to put on a bit of a mask, if you imagine being in a job interview or something like that, it's pretty stressful and it's tiring, and for how long are you doing that? Probably for half an hour or maybe an hour. Autistic people tell us that the masking that they're having to do is going on 24/7."

Behaviours which might feel natural to an autistic person could include flapping hands or arms when they're excited or rocking or pacing up and down to calm themselves. Professor Happé says, "if they have to suppress those behaviours, it might be really quite distressing for them."

Professor Happé says one reason why autistic people mask is because, "they've been bullied or ostracised, for showing those autistic behaviours. And so it really means that we have to become a more neurodiversity inclusive society, and not put all the emphasis on the autistic person to change how they are."

Flo talks in the documentary about how she has masked in front of her mum. Professor Happé says, "I think when there's masking at home it's because it's become routine. But it's often the case too, that parents see a very different picture of their child at home from what teachers see at school."

"So a child who may mask a lot at school and really keep a lid on their autistic behaviour and interests and so on, may come home and have a real meltdown because they're just exhausted from having to keep that up all the time."

Flo also talks in the documentary about how she likes the rules of day-to-day conversations. Professor Happé explains that, "it's certainly easier for autistic people in general when what goes on is somewhat predictable. If it was all routine, if you knew exactly what you should say, what the other person should say, then you don't have to read the other person's mind."

"The other thing is that in neurotypical conversations, we say a lot of things that aren't literally true, and that can be very confusing for autistic people. So if I say, I've got to fly, I might just mean I've got to go, rather than I'm going to get a plane. Or if I say, I'll be back in a minute, and I actually take five minutes, that can feel to the autistic person like I've told a lie."

Murray is 20 years old, lives in Oxfordshire and is non-speaking. Although he doesn't speak he can communicate through the aid of a speech synthesiser.

Video Transcript Video Transcript

Photographer Do you want to sit down? Just look straight ahead. That's really good. Great.

Murray I am an autistic person. It is obvious when you see me. I have no voice but yearn to say so much. If you are willing to listen I will try to say how I feel.

Murray I live in a total blur of information. If I have too many people in a room at one time and one place, it is too overwhelming for me to have to process. I have to jiggle my brain to make it settle. It's just how I cope. Water takes my pain away because it allows me to lose myself in a place that asks no questions of my abilities. Every drop lets me be me. Before I could communicate through typing, I remember that I was frustrated by people who were kind, but didn't know my brain was as good as people who can speak. I remember being told that I liked the Teletubbies, which I did, but I wanted to move on and was desperate to read books for my age. Now I have the chance to speak up for people like me. I'm speaking from my heart.

Murray Non-verbal people are pleasing to be around because we sense the world in a deeper way than those who talk. Because we cannot express our emotions instantly we become deep thinkers. People watchers. We have the same dreams as everyone else, so please don't treat us differently. Each of us is a star eager t be discovered and named in the atmosphere. If you acknowledge our abilities, we can shine brighter. We have so much to say. Please hear us.

Murray's cousin I think we're all better people for knowing Murray. He's made such a big difference to all our lives. We can actually understand how deeply he thinks about things. We've been very privileged to be part of his life.

Murray's dad His whole experience is expressed there in just a few minutes it's wonderful.

Murray's mum That just sums up everything about Murray, and it's just lovely to be telling us how his world is.

Murray I am happy that the world can see a real me.

"Perhaps a quarter of autistic people will have minimal spoken language." says Professor Happé, "most of them will have intellectual disabilities as well."

Because Murray understands language his situation is fairly rare. "Just a small proportion of autistic people will have good intellectual functioning, good understanding of language but an inability to produce speech. And for some of those, they'll be able to use alternative augmentative communication devices, (like a tablet or laptop) to independently type for example."

It's not uncommon for children to have a delay in speaking. Professor Happé says, "A delay in speaking at the level of your peers is not uncommon at age three or four. When it goes on longer than that, it begins to be more of a concern. If children are not speaking when they're five or six, there will be a concern that without some help, they may not develop speech."

"It is important to put in place alternative modes of communication, whether that's a picture system of communication, Makaton, gesture-based language or an app or device. Having these alternative forms of communication won't stop a child from developing speech."

There are lots of resources out there to help you learn more about autism including articles on BBC Bitesize Parents' Toolkit and information on the National Autistic Society website - see below.

"The more that we understand about autism, the more that we can meet autistic people in a fair way," says Professor Happé. "You can think about it as a translation between the autistic mind and the neurotypical mind. And the more we understand the person we're translating with, the better we can do that."

Find out more in the 'My Autistic Self' playlist on BBC Ideas.

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Inside Our Autistic Minds: What parents can learn about masking and non-speaking autism

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Two of the films from Chris Packham's BBC documentary exploring different experiences of autism and what parents can learn from these experiences.

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Schooling tips for parents of autistic children

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Schooling tips for parents of autistic children 

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Schooling tips for parents of autistic children 

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by Dr Anne Emerson, Associate Professor in Special and Inclusive Education at the University of Nottingham.

Autism is a very broad spectrum, and those who are autistic have a wide range of varied characteristics, just like all children. However, there are a number of aspects that many autistic people will have in common. One of these is a need to be clear about what is going to happen and to know what is expected of them. This can be seen as an 'intolerance of uncertainty' where unfamiliar places or events can cause anxiety.

This goes along with some challenges of socialising with other people because some aspects of communication, either the verbal or non-verbal aspects, or both, are difficult to understand or to do.

Most children who are identified as being on the autism spectrum, or who have autistic traits, attend mainstream schools. All schools have rules, which can often help autistic children to know what to do. However, unexpected things frequently happen, and when they do, autistic children tend to feel uncomfortable or frightened.

These tips will help you to support your child to feel safe and confident at home and at school. First, I will offer advice for children in mainstream schools and then tips for children in special schools.

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Schooling tips for parents of autistic children

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Advice for parents of autistic children aimed at helping them to navigate their way through school. With tips for parents of children in mainstream and special schools.

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Advice for supporting your child's mental health | ThisMayHelp

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This May Help

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What is your concern?

This May Help has been created for parents and carers to help manage their child's mental health.

The subjects covered on this website have been chosen by parents and carers just like you, and in consultation with young people who have gone through their own mental health issues. What helped them may also help you.

On each page you'll find text for every topic along with more support films and links to other resources.

On the downloadable advice page you can download a printable version to use whenever you want.

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Advice for supporting your child's mental health | ThisMayHelp

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We are an initiative in partnership with the NHS to provide mental health support for parents of teens. Explore our videos for expert advice

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What Is 4-7-8 Breathing?

4-7-8 breathing is a technique for deep relaxation conceived by Harvard-trained medical doctor and founder of the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine Dr. Andrew Weil. Many use this counting technique to manage stress and anxiety through controlled breathing. Specifically, it involves inhaling for the count of four, holding your breath for the count of seven, and exhaling for the count of eight.

In May of 2015, Dr. Weil popularized this breathing technique to help people manage stress and anxiety. The 4-7-8 breathing technique is based on the pranayama breathing exercise that is practiced during yoga for relaxation.

How 4-7-8 Breathing Works

Are you someone who needs to understand "why" something works before you'll give it a try? If so, here's the rationale behind the technique.

Using the 4-7-8 breathing technique activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for relaxation.

When you activate this system, your body suppresses the opposite system (sympathetic nervous system) that is responsible for the stress response (e.g., the fight or flight reaction).

While you can use this technique to calm anxiety in the moment, Dr. Weil emphasizes that it is best used as a daily preventative practice.

Using this breathing practice regularly helps to make the voluntary practice involuntary.

The speed with which you do the breathing practice does not matter. Instead, it is important to maintain the ratio of 4-7-8 so that the exhale is longer than the inhale, according to Dr. Weil.

How to Practice 4-7-8 Breathing

If you want to start this breathing practice but aren't sure how to get started, it's helpful to know that it is one of the most straightforward techniques you can learn.

There are some specific techniques involved in the practice of this type of breathing, so it's important to pay attention to the details.

Here is a list of steps on how to practice this breathing technique. You can also watch Dr. Weil describe the procedure himself.

The more often that you can practice this technique, the more quickly you will notice results. Ideally, according to Dr. Weil, you should practice at least twice a day though you can do it more often if you are so inclined.

Within just a few short minutes, this breathing technique will help activate your parasympathetic response and slow down your heart rate while lowering blood pressure. You can use 4-7-8 breathing in many different instances, including when feeling stressed or anxious before bedtime, which is another great reason why practicing at night. Once you become comfortable with doing four cycles, you can increase to a maximum of eight cycles.

Uses of 4-7-8 Breathing

The primary use of this breathing technique is to lower your stress response over time. This means practicing daily to notice an improvement in the long term. However, 4-7-8 breathing can also help keep you calm in a variety of stressful situations. You can use it to alleviate symptoms associated with stress, anxiety, and panic attacks. Below are some specific situations in which you might find this 4-7-8 breathing helpful.

At work, when experiencing stress

While driving in traffic or commuting to work each day

Before giving a speech or presentation at school or work

During an exam period at university/college

At night when trying to fall asleep

First thing in the morning, when you wake up

When experiencing pre-class nerves in university/college

If you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or stressed

When practicing other relaxation exercises (e.g., progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery)

When doing yoga or tai chi

When practicing mindfulness meditation

Benefits of 4-7-8 Breathing

While there is a lack of research on the 4-7-8 breathing technique specifically, other research shows the benefits of other similar deep breathing exercises.

Reduced depression and anxiety.In one study, participants with COPD who practiced controlled breathing techniques experienced reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Improved sleep quality. In another study, people with insomnia experienced improved sleep quality after practicing slow, paced breathing exercises for 20 minutes before sleeping.

Reduced stress levels.According to the American Institute of Stress, slow abdominal breathing can help reduce stress levels by slowing down your heart rate and lowering blood pressure. Additionally, it helps relax tense muscles and increase oxygen intake, both of which aid relaxation.

Improved motor memory. Furthermore, another study showed improved motor memory in a group of 16 participants who practiced a 30-minute session of deep breathing.

Improved pain processing.Finally, there is evidence that slow breathing can influence autonomic function and pain processing/perception.

Tips for Practicing 4-7-8 Breathing

It might feel strange at first to practice breathing this way. Try to push through those initial feelings of discomfort. Practice this technique as often as you need to until it becomes automatic for you. Here are a few tips that might be helpful:

Find a quiet place where others won't bother you while performing the exercise.

Make sure you are seated comfortably with good posture while practicing this exercise (don't lie down).

Try not to focus on other thoughts during practice. Instead, try and keep all attention focused on your breath.

Potential Pitfalls When Practicing 4-7-8 Breathing

While there are many ways to practice 4-7-8 breathing, you should consider whether a different approach works for you better than the one described here.

The biggest pitfall of a breathing technique like 4-7-8 breathing is that people forget to practice. It takes about 30 days to form a new habit, so be patient with yourself until this becomes part of your day-to-day routine.

A Word From Verywell

The 4-7-8 breathing technique described in this article can potentially help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. What's more, it may have other benefits like improved concentration and better sleep quality. If you're looking for something easy to do that will make a difference in your life then this simple technique may be all you need.

It is important to remember that this breathing technique should not be used as a replacement for seeking help from professionals when necessary. It can also be helpful to learn other relaxation techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation and meditation.

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Have you heard of 4-7-8 breathing? This is a type of breathing that helps to reduce anxiety. Learn more in this article.

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What is Autism?https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism

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There are lots of way to feel calmer. Try our breathing exercises, activities and games or watch a video to help let go of stress.

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Starting secondary school - BBC Parents' Toolkit - BBC Bitesize

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Advice for parents who have a child starting secondary school this year, with tips on the emotional and practical sides of the transition.

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The Little Elf and the Flowers of Hope and Bravery

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Home Page

ADHD AWARENESS MONTH- OCTOBER 2020
www.adhdawarenessmonth.org
We are an organisation set up to provide information, help and support for children, young people, and adults with ADHD - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - their families and anyone who supports them or works with them.

We currently work across Leicester, Leicestershire and Rutland.

We are based at St Gabriel's Community Centre, Kerrysdale Avenue, Rushey Mead, Leicester, LE4 7GH.

Telephone number:- 0116 261 0711

Go to the 'Resources' page of this website and click on the latest newsletter link or check out the 'What's On' pages to see what we are currently up to!

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www.adhdawarenessmonth.org We are an organisation set up to provide information, help and support for children, young people, and adults with ADHD - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - their families and anyone who supports them or works with them. We currently work across Leicester, Leicestershire and Rutland.

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Amazing Things Happen - by Alexander Amelines

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It's normal for children and young people to feel worried about something that's happening at school - for example, when starting a new school or during exams. Sometimes, however, school can become challenging, stressful or distressing over a much longer period of time.

If your child is feeling anxious about school, or not able to go, it can be exhausting for both of you. Mornings in particular can become really stressful for the whole family, as you try to juggle your child's feelings alongside the need to get them to school and get on with your other responsibilities such as work. Even if you manage to get your child to the school gate, you might know how difficult they're going to find the day - or know that you'll be facing the same problem tomorrow morning.

If you're in this situation, we've got advice to help you explore what's going on with your child, make changes at school that can help, and find the support you need if your child can't go to school.

About the term 'school refusal'

When anxiety builds up to the point that a young person cannot go to school, this is often called 'school refusal' - and you might hear the school or other professionals using this term. However, many young people and parents do not like this term because it implies that 'refusing' school is a choice, and you may prefer to use terms such as emotionally-based school avoidance (ESBA) or anxiety-related absence.

What makes young people feel anxious about school?

Young people can feel anxious about school for lots of different reasons. They might be worried about making friends or fitting in, find schoolwork or lessons confusing, feel pressured to learn in a certain way or find their relationships with teachers difficult.

Sometimes, going through difficult experiences outside of school - such as bereavement, an illness in the family or being a young carer - can also make it harder for a child to feel settled at school.

For some young people, the school environment isn't right for them, and trying to fit into it can create a huge amount of stress. This might be the case if they are struggling with their mental health, or have a neurodiverse condition or Special Educational Need (SEN) such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia or dyspraxia. This can make the school environment anxiety-provoking and exhausting, especially if their condition or need is undiagnosed or not being well supported.

Young people might show they're feeling anxious about school by:

not wanting to get up and get ready

saying they can't go

worrying a lot about small issues, such as having the right equipment for a lesson

feeling sick, or having stomach aches or headaches

not sleeping well

not doing schoolwork, or their grades dropping

being angry or upset, or acting out - at school or at home

withdrawing - seeming low, quiet or depressed

Finding out what's going on for your child

Sometimes it can be difficult to work out what's making your child feel anxious, and the first step is often helping them to identify exactly what's worrying them. Once you understand the problem, you'll be in a much better position to make changes that can help.

Young people can find it hard to explain what's causing their feelings, and might not be able to answer direct questions like 'what's going on?' Using an anxiety iceberg can help to open up the conversation - giving you a more relaxed way of exploring together what's causing their anxiety.

Watch our video to find out how to make an anxiety iceberg with your child.

If you're making an anxiety iceberg with younger children, you might want to draw images on the iceberg, or encourage them to write simple words. With older children and teenagers, you can ask them to write key words and phrases on the iceberg, or do this as a mind map, with 'school' in the middle and all the things they're finding difficult around the outside.

Through this exercise, you might identify worries such as arriving at school, finding the environment noisy or overwhelming, finding lessons confusing, feeling lonely through the day, or feeling uncomfortable during specific subjects.

Making changes at school

Once you understand what's going on for your child, you can use their anxiety iceberg or mind map to communicate with the school and ask for specific changes.

Follow these steps to start a conversation with the school:

Here are some examples of things you can ask the school for:

Remember that even though this situation can be really tough for you and your child, it's a good idea to maintain a positive relationship with the school. Recognise the support they're offering and any changes they're making. This will help you work together to make things better for your child.

Building a relationship with the attendance team at my son's school was hugely helpful, we were talking with them each day.

Strategies you can try at home

For more information and advice on managing anxiety, have a look at our guide for parents.

If your child isn't able to go to school at the moment

If your child isn't going to school at the moment, this can be incredibly stressful and exhausting for you - and really tough for your child. You might be worried about whether they will be able to get back to school or the impact on their education. Or, you might feel overwhelmed because you're juggling this alongside work and other family commitments.

If your child's anxiety about school has built up to the point where they can't go, it's a good idea to get them some professional mental health or SEN support - see our advice on this below.

Alongside requesting professional help, try to:

The school's SEN and attendance policies should be on their website. Knowing what these are can support you during meetings with the school.

This can help if your child is unable to go to school for a longer period of time and you need to ask for more support, including provision of alternative full-time education.

Encourage your child to get up, do some studying and stop for lunch at the same times they would if they were in school. This will make adapting back to school easier. Explain to your child that if they cannot go to school, they will need to study at home - at least until alternative arrangements are put in place. Ask the school to help you facilitate tasks and activities your child can do and use online resources such as BBC Bitesize.

Not going to school could leave your child feeling really isolated. Make sure they stay connected to the outside world by seeing friends and family, doing activities they enjoy and getting outside for walks and exercise.

Speaking to friends online can be really important if your child is feeling isolated at home. Sometimes, however, you might notice that your child is spending lots of time gaming or on their phone, and that this is getting in the way of important daily activities like spending quality time with family, learning, or sleeping and eating well. If this is becoming a problem, have a look at our guide to gaming or guide to social media for more information and advice.

Local authorities must provide alternative education if a child of compulsory school age is unable to attend school over a longer period of time. If your child cannot attend school because of a mental or physical health issue, the local authority should provide an alternative as soon as it is clear that they will be away from school for more than 15 days (either consecutively or over time). Find out how to request alternative education.

What will happen if my child doesn't go to school?

Parents often tell us they are worried about fines and prosecution, but schools generally consider this only if they feel there is no valid reason for the absence, or that parents aren't engaging with the problem.

If the absence is prolonged, the case may be referred to a local council Education Welfare Officer (EWO). They will arrange a home visit to find out more and discuss strategies. The school may also refer to other support, including from CAMHS.

Helping your child return to school after an absence

Getting back to school after weeks or months may feel extremely difficult for your child, but you and the school can help make it more manageable. Here are some things you can do to help:

Set small, achievable targets, such as visiting the building outside school hours or attending one lesson.

Request a home visit from a school staff member so your child can check in while feeling safe, see that the school cares and discuss any strategies that might help them.

Ask for a reduced timetable, with regular reviews to discuss building back up at a manageable rate.

Discuss changing classes or sets if your child thinks this would help.

Focus on qualifications needed for what your child wants to do next, perhaps dropping a less relevant GCSE to reduce stress.

My son wasn't questioned about his absence when he did feel able to pop in for favourite lessons, helping to ease him back into full days of education.

Getting mental health and SEN support

If your child is struggling with anxiety and it's affecting their day-to-day life, learning or relationships, it's a good idea to find some professional support. Speaking to the GP and finding them a counsellor or therapist are two good places to start. You can find more information about GPs, counsellors and other mental health services in our guide to getting help for your child.

If there is no other obvious reason for your child's inability to attend school, they may have an undiagnosed Special Educational Need (SEN) such as dyslexia, autism or ADHD.

If you think this is the case:

Speak to the school's SENCO or your GP to ask for a referral for an assessment.

While you are waiting for an assessment, you can also ask the SENCO to refer your child for support from other professionals, such as an Educational Psychologist or Speech and Language Therapist. These professionals can identify specific needs and make recommendations for additional support the school can put in place - even if your child hasn't had a formal diagnosis yet.

SEN support at school
If your child is diagnosed with SEN, extra support and adjustments should be put in place at school to help them attend and learn. This is called SEN support, and should be available within the school's existing resources. Speak to the school's SENCO in the first instance about how the school will support your child.
Education, Health and Care (EHC) plans
If you do not think your child's needs can be met by the school's existing resources, you can ask the local authority to carry out an Education, Health and Care needs assessment (EHC needs assessment). If the local authority decides your child needs additional support, they will then make an Education, Health and Care plan (EHC plan). This outlines how the extra support they need will be provided. Find out more about EHC plans.
Your Local Offer
Your Local Offer is the information, support and services available for young people with SEN, and for their parents and families. You can find out what support is available in your area by going to your local authority's website and searching for their Local Offer.

If you need more information and advice about getting the right education for your child when they have been diagnosed with a Special Educational Need (SEN), IPSEA can help.

If you need to talk through a problem, their Advice Line can provide support with any educational issue resulting from your child's SEN. You can also find lots of information, including information on assessments and diagnosis, as well as getting support from the school and local authority, on their website.

Finding more information and advice

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

You might also find this helpful

We have more tips and advice on supporting your child with school, and information about how you can get in touch with our Parents Helpline.

This page was reviewed in December 2022. It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with school anxiety. We will next review the page in 2025. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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School Anxiety and Refusal | Parent Guide to Support

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If your child is anxious about school, or refusing to go to school at all, read our tips and advice on how you can support their mental health.

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Feeling stressed, anxious, low or struggling to sleep? Every Mind Matters and One You can help with expert advice and practical tips. Start the fightback to a healthier you today.

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Covid-19 Update:

Blaby's District Council has taken the decision that the Childrens Support service will not be providing any direct/ group work with children until at least September 2020.

The decision to temporarily suspend the Children's support service has been made in relation to the current situation of Covid 19 and will be dependent on the current guidelines come September. Support is currently being offered via the community hub -
https://www.blaby.gov.uk/leisure-health-and-community/community/coronavirus-community-hub
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Children's Support Service

We work with Children and Young people up to the age of 19 who live or attend school in the Blaby District area and who have been affected by domestic abuse, substance misuse or anti-social behaviour. In order for us to become involved, the children/ young people should not still be living with the perpetrator in terms of domestic abuse, nor should there be ongoing child protection issues that are unaddressed.

We offer one to one support in schools or other neutral venues and we also run feeling safe groups (specifically around domestic abuse) in the council offices in Narborough.

Our work is around:

Listening & understanding the child's perspective

Being an advocate and help their voice to be heard.

Emotional wellbeing

Self worth, self esteem & confidence

Understanding negative & positive behaviour

Coping mechanisms

Working with the parent to put plans in place

Multi agency working to maximise support for family

Referral is required
If you are a parent or a professional and more information or to access the service, please contact:

Telephone: 0116 272 7734 Fax: 0116 272 7602

Email: community.safety@blably.gov.uk
www.blaby.gov.uk

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Children's Support Service - Blaby District

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Covid-19 Update: Blaby's District Council has taken the decision that the Childrens Support service will not be providing any direct/ group work with children until at least September 2020.The decision to temporarily suspend the Children's support service has been made in relation to the current situation of Covid 19 and will be dependent on the current guidelines come

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Children's Centre Programme

Information, Support and Assessment Service

Supporting Leicestershire Families (Troubled Families programme)

Youth Offending Service

CFWS provides early help services - these are services which may be offered at any point in a child or young person's life, where the child is experiencing some difficulties which cannot be supported by universal services, such as schools or GP, alone.

All referrals into Chidren and Family Wellbeing Service are first taken by social workers in our First Response Children's Duty team. This is to check that children are safe and don't need a social worker.

Sometimes, calls are made to parents and professionals involved such as teachers or nurses to get more information before they are passed onto the most appropriate team.

Professionals can ask for help for a family using the Multi-Agency Referral From (MARF).

Families can use our Request for Services online form. Requests for help can be made by a young person themselves, their family, friends or by professionals supporting them. Referrals must have the consent and engagement of families. You don't need to know which service to ask for - we just need you to explain what you feel you need help with and what you feel might happen without support. We will also want to know what you may have already tried. Please have the necessary information ready. You have 60 minutes to complete the form.

Services provided

Standard family support 0-19

Families who need help can access a range of services which include:

Thematic workshops

Group work programmes including Solihull Approach Parenting. From December 2019 the offer will be broadened to include Triple P parenting groups and workshops targeted at parents of disabled children, parents of primary aged children, and parents of teenagers. The workshops are being further developed with partners to include workshops for parents on issues such as tenancy management, debt and financial management, healthy lifestyles, etc.

SEND short breaks assessment

8-12-week CBT based support for children 8-19 with low to medium level mental health difficulties

Following an early help assessment, one to one programmes of support covering issues such as household routines, behaviour management, coordination of services. This standard family support is provided for up to 12 weeks.

Enhanced family support 0-19

Enhanced support is an intensive offer which can be delivered in family homes, communities and schools, and may be in place for up to 12 months. Keyworkers work alongside families to understand their needs through early help assessment and plan together with the family and other partner agencies to achieve good outcomes.

Supporting families with children 0-2

The service seeks to deliver a targeted service to improve outcomes for young children and families, with a focus on the most disadvantaged families in order to reduce inequalities in child development and school readiness. The programme aims to improve:

child and family health and life chances

parenting skills

parenting aspirations and emotional health and wellbeing

Planning for the programme is based on the latest research and evidence base for services, to ensure high quality outcomes are achieved, and is carried out in partnership with key agencies and services such as health and early learning and childcare. The model focuses on fostering emotional well-being and secure relationships with care givers that will support children's learning and emotional resilience and contribute to reductions in maltreatment.

The Local Authority SENDIAS Service is based within CFWS. This service provides independent advice and support to families and young people experiencing difficulties with education. This service takes referrals directly from families.

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Children and Family Wellbeing Service (CFWS)

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Children's Centre ProgrammeInformation, Support and Assessment ServiceSupporting Leicestershire Families (Troubled Families programme)Youth Offending ServiceCFWS provides early help services - these are services which may be offered at any point in a child or young person's life, where the child is experiencing some difficulties which cannot be supported by universal services,

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https://www.leicestershireautisticsociety.org.uk

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Take 5 Breathing: A Breathing Exercise for Kids

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Understanding Trauma: Learning Brain vs Survival Brain

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Special Educational Needs and Disability Information, Advice and Support Service (SENDIASS) Leicestershire, is a statutory service. We provide free, impartial and confidential advice and support to parents and carers of young people aged 0-25 with special education needs or disabilities as well as young people themselves. We advise on all matters relating to SEND, including education, health and social care issues.

SENDIASS staff are legally trained:

Will maintain confidentiality and will not share information without consent.

Will be non-judgemental.

Will not make decisions on your behalf or influence your decision making in any way.

Will tailor support to your individual needs.

Our aim is to empower parents/carers, children and young people to independently voice their thoughts, opinions and desires about the support they (or their children), need in place to achieve their full potential and best possible outcomes.

We do this through telephone support, direct work, support in meetings and advocacy. We ensure that children, young people and their parents / carers have the correct information about the processes / experiences that they may be going through and their rights relating to these, in order to make informed choices.
What we can help with
SEND education, health and social care issues, including:

Send processes and Send support

Educational disputes and exclusions.

One Page Profiles.

Requests for assessments and matters relating to Education, Health and Care Plans (EHCPs).

Annual reviews of your child's EHCP.

Disability discrimination.

Support in court proceedings, relating to the above.

Getting in touch:

SEND Information Advice and Support Service (SENDIASS Leicestershire)
Telephone: 0116 305 5614
Duty line opening times Monday-Friday 9am-3pm - answerphone service in operation outside of these hours
Email: sendiass@leics.gov.uk

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SEND Information Advice and Support Service (SENDIASS)

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Special Educational Needs and Disability Information, Advice and Support Service (SENDIASS) Leicestershire, is a statutory service. We provide free, impartial and confidential advice and support to parents and carers of young people aged 0-25 with special education needs or disabilities as well as young people themselves.

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The positives of ADHD are numerous and mighty - creativity, empathy, and tenacity, just to name a few. Here, readers share their amazing superpowers.

Thinking positive to find the plus sides of adhd.

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Problem solving skills are a positive about ADHD.

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Children use their creativity to build a fort.

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A teenager consoles a friend, using her gift of compassion.

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Girl with snorkel by family unpacking van shows her sense of humor.

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The word impossible is written on a chalkboard, with the "im" crossed out, because those with ADHD have perseverance.

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A woman is very observant and employs her keen sense of observation.

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A mom holds her child while also ironing - multitasking is a strength for those with ADHD.

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A man is very focused on writing in his notebook. Hyperfocus is a positive trait of ADHD.

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A group of young children are running with endless energy, another positive trait of ADHD.

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A father and son play airplane together. Their seal for life is an ADHD superpower.

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A green apple in a group of oranges illustrates differences. Kids and adults with ADHD are very accepting.

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A road sign has an arrow pointing to Right and another toward wrong. Those with ADHD have a strong moral compass.

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This page contains affiliate links, read the disclosure statement Inside: Kid tested strategies used by child therapists for calming anxiety, including ideas to calm down, books to read and videos that can help
It's happening again. Your daughter is frustrated and stomping away down to her room, slamming the door and in general "has her cranky pants on". You say calm down, but she yells back "I don't know how to do that!!!"

We tend to tell our kids to "calm down" without ever giving them explicit directions on how to deal with stress and anxiety. Here's a collection of the best tools and tips I've found to teach children how to calm down and relax.

Sometimes you'll need a quick way to help your child calm down and you don't have much with you. Maybe it's when you're out at Target or stuck in traffic. These tips will come in handy at those times:

Imagine your favorite place - it's like taking a mini vacation wherever you are

Think of your favorite things

Name animals alphabetically (alligator, bear, cow, dog, etc...)

Squeeze Something (play dough, clay, silly putty, your fists, a stress ball)

Get a Cold Drink of Water

54321 Grounding - go through each of your 5 senses

1. Put your arms straight out in front of you, palms facing out.

2. Put one hand over the other at the wrists and interlace your fingers.

3. Swoop your hands and arms toward your body and then place your interlaced hands on your chest.

4. Cross your feet at the ankles and put your tongue on the roof of your mouth.

5. Stay still for one minute.

It's great to have a big list of coping skills to try when your child needs to calm down. Here are two more short lists of ideas for calming down at home or at school.

From Imperfect Families - Strategies to use at home

From Encourage Play - 10 Strategies to Help Kids Calm Down at school or home

People usually roll their eyes initially when they hear "breathing is important". But I will continue to say it and explain why. It's so simple, yet has such a big impact on your body's physiology.

When you and calm and relaxed, your body is in "rest and digest" mode. You breathe normally, your heart rate is lower and your muscles are relaxed. However, when stress or anxiety or anger occurs, your body automatically switches into "flight, fight or freeze" mode. Your muscles tense up, your heart rate increases and your breathing becomes more shallow.

Taking deep breaths, instead of shallow breaths, is one way to tell your body to get back to resting and digesting. That's why deep breathing is important!

Luckily, there are some fun ways to teach kids deep breathing techniques

Things to use

Things to say

Breathe in like you are smelling a flower, breathe out like you are blowing out birthday candles

Arms up and breathe in, arms down and breathe out

Pretend your belly is a balloon. Breathe in and make the balloon bigger, then breathe out and make the balloon shrink.

Videos to watch
4 - 7 - 8 Breathing by GoZen
Breathing at Sea Otter Cove from Stress Free Kids

A Coping Skills Toolbox is a kit that you create to help your child calm down when they are upset, anxious or worried. In order to get the most benefit from this, you should create this kit before an issue occurs. When your child experiences anxiety, then they can pick out an item from their Coping Skills Toolbox. This is one of my favorite ways to help kids learn to calm their anxiety.

Here are some other fantastic ideas for what to put in a coping skills toolbox/calm down kit from And Next Comes L

You can create a place specially designed to allow to calm down in a few steps

Find a spot and make it cozy (ask your child for help with that - maybe they can place a favorite blanket or stuffed animal inside)

Add calming tools

Explain how to use it and practice before

When they are starting to escalate, catch it early and give them a calm reminder about their calm down spot

Use the following phrases as a way to support your child, let them know that you're going to support them and help them in any way that you can.

"I'm here for you"

"Talk to me and tell me what's going on"

"How can I help?"

"Together, we can work on this. We're a great team"

"I love you"

"Do you want a hug?"

Here are some more ideas of what to say to calm an anxious child.

From Go Zen - 49 Phrases to Calm an Anxious Child

From Lemon Lime Adventures - What to Say to Calm an Anxious Child

Did you know there are podcasts with stories for children? Usually the hosts have a soothing voice and the stories tend to be pretty short. Your child can listen to these podcasts as a way to have some down time.

There are scripts you can read to your child to help them relax and calm down. Slowly and carefully read the words as your child listens and follows the instructions. Check out Inner Health Studios list of scripts you can use with your child. If you prefer not to read a script, there are ones that are pre-recorded.

There are also scripts to practice mindfulness with children. Eline Snel has written a great book on Mindfulness with Kids, Sitting Still Like a Frog. Here are the several scripts that can be used from that book!

Annaka Harris also has several pre-recorded scripts to help kids practice mindfulness

Confused about how to introduce mindfulness to kids? Check out these resources:
Simple Ways to Introduce Mindfulness and Meditation to Children 11 Simple But Effective Ways to Teach Mindfulness to Kids
What you need:

I've used empty soda bottles, empty water bottles, glass jars and plastic containers. Use whatever makes sense for you and your family. For instance, for the calming jars the kids have in their room, I used a heavy duty plastic bottle. I didn't want them to accidentally knock over a glass jar in the dark - that would be a huge mess!

I've had the best results when I've used warm water - it makes it easier for the water and paint to combine.
Glitter Paint
I prefer using glitter paint (or glitter glue) instead of glitter because then I'm not cleaning up glitter for weeks at my house after we make them :-)

To make your jar, add glitter paint to the bottom of the jar until it just covers the bottom of it. Add warm water. Put the cover on and shake to help the ingredients combine. Once you are satisfied with the look of your jar, then you can super glue the lid shut so it doesn't spill. In a pinch, I've also used duct tape to secure the lid.
Watch Make a Simple Calming Jar from Coping Skills for Kids on YouTube Wet Ingredients
Sometimes you want the glitter/other items to stay afloat longer or for a shorter amount of time. Here are some different ingredients you can use as the wet ingredients.
Dry Ingredients
To see several other ways to make calming jars, take a look at what Preschool Inspirations did.

One of the first things I always like to do with kids if they are struggling is to start using visuals. When you're stressed and anxious, it's harder to read and take in information. Visuals are easier.

I like to keep calming cue cards in my children's coping skills toolboxes so that they can make a decision about what coping skill they can use. Sometimes pulling out a list is too much in the moment. You can make your own cue cards.

1. Take several index cards or small pieces of cardstock

2. On each one, write or draw one coping skill

3. Hole punch the cards and place them on a keyring (to make them extra sturdy, you can laminate them)

4. Put them into the coping skills toolbox for easy access

Using visuals is a powerful way to help kids. When kids are overwhelmed, sometimes it's hard for them to figure out what to do. By having cue cards, your child can have a visual reminder of what calms and relaxes them.

To make things a little easier, I've created ready to use coping skills cue cardsfor you. There are four different sets: Calming, Physical, Distracting, and Processing. If you'd like all 4, I created a set where you can download them all together.

If your child is anxious, they may also be having a difficult time getting settled for bedtime. Here are some ideas to help your child get settled at bedtime.

PINPOINT WHAT THE FEAR IS

One of the most important things to do is to figure out exactly what is causing the anxiety. Is it fear of the dark? Is it a worry about something in the closet? Is it monsters? Is it spiders? Figuring out the cause of the fear will help you come up with ways you can help your child combat it.

REARRANGE THE ROOM

Are there particular spots of the room that seem to be darker or cause more fear at night than others? Go into the bedroom during the day with your child and talk about the spots that make your child nervous. Try moving night lights and furniture around for a more calming room arrangement.

TRANSITIONAL OBJECTS

If your child has a hard time separating from you, try a transitional object. This is a special item that helps your child feel comforted. It helps them feel like part of you is still present even when you're not there. It could be something like a stuffed animal or a special stone or necklace, or a sweatshirt of yours. The object isn't what matters, it's what the object represents. They can keep it and hold it all night long to help them relax and go to sleep.

Find more strategies here: 12 Kid Friendly Strategies to Calm Anxiety at Night

Looking for some calming guided meditation to help get to sleep at night? Try one of these: Best Guided Meditations for Sleep.

Whenever I sit down and talk with someone about their coping skills, one of the first
things I ask is if they have tried writing about it. Why do I always start with journaling as
a way of processing through difficult feelings?

It's easier to write about than talk about hard things

Journaling helps you process what's happening.

It's convenient.

It's not graded

It can help you solve a problem

It can help you re-frame your thinking

Looking for a journal for a child or teen? Check out Big Life Journals!

General Anxiety

The Coping Skills for Kids Workbook by Janine Halloran. This book has over 75 strategies for kids to try to help them manage their stress and worry. This book also includes colorful worksheets to help kids learn more about their anxiety and what they can do to manage their stress.

Wilma Jean the Worry Machine by Julia Cook I love that when Wilma Jean's physical reactions are described, they're also illustrated. When is says she has knots in her stomach and her knees lock, her stomach really looks like it's tied in a knot and there's a real lock around her knees. I love the activity she does with her teacher, going over worries she can control and worries she can't, it's a great way to help kids manage their anxiety.

David and the Worry Beast by Anne Marie Guanci David's anxiety is a beast, and the more anxious he gets, the bigger it grows. David learns to control his thoughts, and his beast shrinks. There's also a couple of pages for parents and kids in the back.

When My Worries Get Too Big by Kari Dunn Buron This book is wonderful! There are several pages where kids can add in their own thoughts, worries and what helps them relax. This book also uses the 5 point scale to talk about stress and different ways to manage it.

What To Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner, PhD This book goes through several ways that can help kids manage anxiety, including setting a time for worries, thinking about things that make you happy and resetting your body with activity or relaxation. There are some interactive places in this book, where a child can write down their worries, draw some images of things that might help, etc.

What To Do When You're Scared and Worried by James J. Crist This is one of my favorite books for kids to help them deal with anxiety. Near the beginning of the book is a checklist that helps kids narrow down what they are anxious about. The beginning of the book covers the basics of what anxiety is and how to help manage with coping skills. The next section of the book goes into detail about different types of anxiety kids might experience, including Separation Anxiety, Phobias and Panic Attacks.

Separation Anxiety

The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn Classic about managing separation anxiety when kids start school. My daughter's kindergarten teacher read this on our visit to school the first day.

When I miss you by Cornelia Maude Spelman This is perfect for little ones who have a hard time dealing with the fact that they are away from their parents during the day. It suggests a couple of things they can do to help and reassurance that parents will come back at the end of the day.

Wemberley Worried by Kevin Henkes Poor Wemberley worries about everything, and then she gets really worried when she is about to start school.

This E-Course offers you instant support from a Child Therapist.
You will get:
12 Videos that are quick and bite size

14 Exercises that will expand on the skills taught

6 Cheat Sheets that will serve as a reference
Along with the course you get:
Access to the instructor for ongoing support

Downloadable PDF versions of all lessons

Lifetime access to the course

More from Coping Skills for Kids about Anxiety in Children...

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Calming Anxiety - Coping Skills for Kids

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Inside: Kid tested strategies used by child therapists for calming anxiety, including ideas to calm down, books to read and videos that can help

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A new children's book that aims to change the narrative around COVID-19 has been launched. "Hope, Where Are You?" also gives children and families hope during these times of the pandemic and school closures.

"Hope, Where Are You?" is the story of six children around the world who are experiencing school closures because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Each story follows a similar pattern of children's frustrations/challenges, finding their hope and sharing their hope with others.

Along with the six children, the illustrated characters of 'Hope' and 'Germ' add a humorous twist. Armand Doucet and Elisa Guerra, globally recognised teachers, collaborated to write this book, which was illustrated by Ana Ragu (Elisa's daughter).
Social and emotional development
The book is a global resource to support children and their families impacted by the pandemic and associated school closures. It seeks to provide a source of hope and a meaningful context for children to talk about the current situation while nurturing their social and emotional development.
"The book aims to portray the voices of children and their particular stories during the pandemic," said Canadian teacher and co-author Armand Doucet. "It showcases how we face different problems amidst the pandemic and how the human connection brings us closer to finding hope. A teacher, a parent, a grandparent, a sibling, a friend, a neighbour, and even yourself: there is always someone who can help you get through difficult times."
Global citizenship
He added "we hope that teachers can use this book to help have those difficult discussions, start a conversation of hope, talk about global citizenship in relation to their own personal stories, hope for their community and so much more".

The book is in 20 language editions and will be available in a free PDF format across multiple platforms, such as Apple Books, Amazon Kindle, and the Google Play store.
Support for UNICEF COVID-19 Response
The authors also acknowledge that many children and families will not have access to the book for many reasons and that is one of the reasons why it will be provided free of charge.

However, for individuals and families who want to contribute to positive changes in their local and global communities during these challenging times, the authors would like to encourage those who can afford it to purchase a print-on-demand version and donate to the UNICEF COVID-19 Response, which supports the world's most vulnerable children.
Creating a hope movement
"Hope, Where Are You?" further aims to create a Hope movement (#hopewhereareyou) through a public relations and social media campaign showcasing hope through social and global solidarity.

To add depth to what the book can provide, the global team of volunteer educators also used their expertise to create an education ecosystem behind the project. This includes a parent/carer guide on how the book can be used with children to support a range of social and emotional skills as well as provide a context for discussion.

For more information about the book and materials around it, click here

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a new children’s book that aims to change the narrative around covid-19 has been launched. “hope

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where are you?” also gives children and families hope during these times of the pandemic and school closures.

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Finding Hope: Children's book launched to provide children with hope

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A new children's book that aims to change the narrative around COVID-19 has been launched. "Hope, Where Are You?" also gives children and families hope during these times of the pandemic and school closures. "Hope, Where Are You?" is the story of six children around the world who are experiencing school closures because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

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Find out more about dyslexia here, where you will find expert articles and videos.

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What is ADHD?

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects behaviour and concentration.

Children and young people with ADHD often seem unusually restless, impulsive or distracted. They may speak or act without thinking, struggle with organisation, find it hard to focus or appear to be always on the go. Some people with ADHD do not experience hyperactivity though, and this is sometimes called attention deficit disorder (ADD).

ADHD is not a mental illness or a learning disability, though children and young people with ADHD may also have other conditions or experience mental health problems.

Living with ADHD can be very challenging, for children and young people as well as for their parents and carers. But the right diagnosis, treatment and support can make a big difference to a child's learning, life skills and relationships, as well as making family life easier. There is also lots you can do as a parent/carer to help your child manage the things they find difficult.

What are the most common symptoms of ADHD?

A child with ADHD may be:

easily distracted, finding it difficult to start or finish tasks

often unable to concentrate

often restless or fidgety

very talkative, often interrupting or blurting things out

impulsive, acting before considering consequences, prone to taking risks

easily angry or frustrated, struggling to deal with emotions

finding making or maintaining friendships difficult

disorganised, for instance often losing things or being late

lacking awareness of time

Every child or young person with ADHD is individual and they may not display all of these behaviours. And many of these traits and behaviours are typical in younger children, or can follow a traumatic experience - they don't necessarily mean your child has ADHD.

Age and gender can also affect how someone with ADHD behaves. This can make it harder to spot signs of ADHD, particularly in girls, who are more likely to be undiagnosed or wrongly diagnosed with other conditions(i).

Typically the symptoms of ADHD develop in early childhood and they may become particularly noticeable at times of significant change, such as starting or changing school.

What to do if you think your child might have ADHD

If your child frequently experiences some of these symptoms; this is affecting their day- to- day life; and it's happening in more than one setting (for instance at home and school), discuss your concerns with your child's GP. Before doing this, talk to your child's teacher and the school special educational needs co-ordinator (SENCO) about what they have noticed.

The GP may want to refer your child for assessment, as ADHD can only be diagnosed by a specialist such as a child and adolescent psychiatrist or paediatrician.

Sometimes parents are reluctant to pursue assessment. They may be worried about 'labelling' their child or about stigma, or they may prefer to watch and wait. These feelings are normal. But parents and young people who do seek diagnosis can find it helps them access the right support; understand and manage challenges; and identify individual strengths.

We have more information about getting support from the GP, CAMHS or school in our guide.

ADHD diagnosis, support and treatment

ADHD assessment is usually done through the specialist Children and Young People's Mental Health Services, commonly referred to as CAMHS.

Diagnosis is most commonly made in childhood, and in the majority of cases, symptoms affecting daily life continue into adulthood(ii).

There is no single, definitive test for ADHD. Specialists will base clinical diagnosis on a combination of observations of your child; discussions and questionnaires (with you and your child); and information from your child's school.

They will consider how long the symptoms have been present; their impact on your child's daily life; and whether they might be due to another condition. Approximately 60-80% of children with ADHD have at least one other condition,(iii) (such as autistic spectrum disorder, dyslexia, dyspraxia, anxiety or behaviour problems) and your child may be given more than one diagnosis.

Support and treatment options

You and your child should be offered support and advice to help manage ADHD in their day-to-day life.

ADHD can also be treated with medication and/or therapies. These should be discussed with you when your child is diagnosed, and are set out in the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) guidelines on ADHD.

ADHD can be treated with therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). For more information about therapy, see our parent guide to counselling and therapy.

There are a number of types of medication. These are not a cure for ADHD, and many children do not take them, but they can help manage some of the symptoms. Medication must be prescribed and overseen by a specialist.

You may also be offered ADHD -focussed parent training. This does not mean your parenting is somehow wrong. It is designed to provide support and specific strategies and skills to help you and your child thrive.

Jack is still perennially late, disorganised and impulsive; but he's also energetic, original and creative. The medication is helping him make the most of all of that.

How can I help my child with ADHD?

Be explicit and consistent about unacceptable behaviour, such as violence. Set appropriate consequences and follow them through, but try to stay calm in the moment to avoid escalation. Dealing with challenging behaviour can be very hard, and our parent guide has helpful advice.

Plan the day so your child knows what to expect. Maintaining regular sleep patterns, physical activity and mealtimes can help your child. Some people find dietary change and/or certain supplements helpful, but there is no clinical evidence for this and medical advice should be sought first(iv). Our young person's guide has helpful advice on sleep problems.

ADHD and your child's mental health

Any child or young person can struggle with their mental health and wellbeing, whether or not they have ADHD. This might be caused by things like family change, bullying, exam stress or a traumatic event.

But having ADHD may also mean your child has extra challenges - such as social difficulties, struggling to manage their emotions or getting into trouble at school - that leave them more vulnerable to low self-esteem, anxiety or depression.

Children and young people with ADHD frequently have other developmental or mental health conditions and it is important to ensure they have the appropriate support for these.

As a parent there is a lot you can do to support your child with their wellbeing and mental health:

encourage your child to talk about how they are feeling with you. Our starting a conversation guide has ideas for keeping communication open

if you feel your child may have a mental health problem or another condition alongside ADHD, discuss your concerns with their GP or ADHD specialist.

Working with school if your child has ADHD

ADHD is a special education need (SEN), and it may be referred to as a specific learning difference (SpLD). Your child is entitled to appropriate support to help them thrive socially and educationally. This could include potential adjustments in certain situations, such as extra time or rest breaks for exams, movement breaks in lessons, written instructions for tasks and a seating plan that minimises distractions.

Discuss the diagnosis and needs with the school's SENCO, taking a list of your concerns and background information to the meeting.

Your child may be entitled to an education, health and care plan (EHC plan) which details the support they need and how it will be provided. (The National Autistic Society has helpful information about EHC plans.)

Good communication between you and school can be really helpful in ensuring your child thrives in education and meets their potential. Our parent guide to support has more advice on talking to school or college.

ADHD in teenagers and beyond

If your child is a teenager or young person, their needs and the support you give may well be different from when they were younger. They may like to read our young person's guide to ADHD and mental health. But there are still many ways you can help.

Looking after your own wellbeing

Parenting a child with ADHD can sometimes be isolating, upsetting or exhausting. Sometimes parents feel judged or blamed by others (unjustifiably as parenting does not cause ADHD). It is entirely understandable if you are finding things difficult.

It's important to recognise the impact the situation is having on you, and think about ways you can take care of yourself - including getting support from other people so that you can take some time off. It's okay to ask for help when you need it, and to share your worries with someone you trust. We have advice on looking after yourself as well as your child.

Our son's challenging behaviour with ADHD had an enormous impact on the whole family, as we and his brothers bore the brunt of his anger.

Where to get further support

If you would to speak to a professional adviser or find out more about how you can support your child, these organisations can help.

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Help Your Child With ADHD | Parents Guide to Support

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What is ADHD? Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects behaviour and concentration. Children and young people with ADHD often seem unusually restless, impulsive or distracted. They may speak or act without thinking, struggle with organisation, find it hard to focus or appear to be always on the go.