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In the Trust vs. Mistrust stage; the first of Erikson's eight stages of psychological development, from birth to 12-18 months old, an infant is very uncertain about the world around them. They look to their primary caregiver for stability and proper care.  A loving relationship helps develop trust.  Those who develop trust tend to have a more positive outlook on life.  For those who do not develop trust, it may be difficult for them to maintain healthy relationships. "According to Erikson (1950), early experiences are the key". Pg. 150

I, as a young child suffered from mistrust. Being pushed away by my primary caregiver caused me to be uncomfortable with others.  Seeing the difficulties I was having as a baby my older sister took the role of a loving parent.  She was able to pave the path to engage with others comfortably.

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During this stage, between the ages of 18 months to 3 years old is when a child starts to learn independence, by making decisions based on choices provided by their caregiver.  If a child has come through the first stage with a feeling of trust, a feeling of self is stronger.  This allows the child to start making judgments for themselves with a little more freedom.  "Because unlimited freedom is neither safe nor healthy, said Erikson, shame and doubt also have a necessary place." Pg. 156-157
No choices were provided in my case. You got what you got. No questions, no choices, no answers. At this point, I was becoming withdrawn from my mother. It was like I was done trying to get her to acknowledge me. My sister was able to help me learn how to make proper choices by showing me I had a choice. This also helped me in making proper judgements of those around me.

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The stage of Initiative vs. Guilt, from the age of 3 to 5 years old, is when a child deals with the conflict of self.  It's about being a child and wanting to be able to do more things like adults.  "Children who learn how to regulate these opposing drives develop the virtue of purpose, the courage to envision and pursue goals without being unduly inhibited by guilt or fear of punishment." Pg. 210
In my case, the conflict was within myself. I wanted to know what I did wrong all of the time. How can I make it better? What did I do to make my baby brother cry? Even though it always seemed to be my fault in my mother's eyes, I still was able to develop a purpose by listening to my sister's words of encouragement.

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During the stage of Industry vs. Inferiority from the ages of 5-12 a child is learning about self-worth based on their accomplishments.  Positive feedback and encouragement are detrimental at this stage.  Big or small, significant or insignificant without positive feedback self-esteem is hard to obtain. " As with all of Erikson's stages, there is an opportunity for growth represented by a sense of industry and a complimentary risk represented by inferiority" Pg. 275
When I was in this stage and wanted to try different things I was verbally shot down by my mother. "You won't be any good." or "Why would you want to do that?" Feeling she was right I almost didn't try. My sister gave me no choice. She made sure I tried and succeeded. Always pushing me to try something and practice until I was confident. Having this positive influence in my life allowed me to become a successful softball player/coach and successful in the theater community.

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The Identity vs. Confusions stage from the ages of 12-18 years old is the time when adolescence develop a sense of self/identity, and what they want to do as an adult. "Identity firms as young people resolve three major issues: the choice of an occupation, the adoption of values to live by, and the development of a satisfying sexual identity." Pg. 336
I came into this stage knowing who I was and what I needed to do. I was responsible and had a job to get what my brother and I needed and wanted and to get us out of the house to get away from our mother. Things changed for me at the end of this stage when at the age of 18 I met my ex-husband. I felt love like I never felt before and let the relationship grow forgetting about my trust issues. I married him at the age of 21.

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In the Intimacy vs Isolation stage age 18-40 years old is when one finds themselves and essentially is ready to find someone to share their life with.  "Secure attachment in infancy also influences the quality of attachment to a romantic partner in young adulthood(Simpson et al.,2007)
I got married at 21 and was ready to start my new life and accomplish my dreams.  I wanted to go to college to become a teacher and have a family. College was kicked out the window. My husband didn't believe in college so therefore why would I go? I was also told that I was never going to amount to anything without him. Abuse and constant negativity, I was once again believing what I was constantly being told. I chose to accept the relationship trying to make it work. Failure at past stages this just felt like it was supposed to be this way. I eventually left at age 35 with my 3 children only to find myself a few years later in a similar situation that almost got me killed.

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Generativity vs Stagnation ages 40-65 when you ask, " Does my life mean anything?" or "What have I contributed?"
I am in this stage today. I know I have contributed to society in the past and will continue to for as long as I can. This brings great joy to me. I have taken my struggles and failures to push me through and teach others if I can.

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Integrity vs Despair over 60 years old.  Was it meaningful or do I regret?
As long as I continue to make others happy I will never have any regrets.