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I Love My Hair! by Natasha Anastasia Tarpley celebrates black hair, encouraging pride and love for black hair. This book gives children a great example of self love and confidence.

Julian is a Mermaid by Jessica Love demonstrates self love and expression as well as acceptance of others.

Hot Pot Night by Vincent Chen celebrates not only Taiwanese food but sharing and celebrating one's culture with others.

Diverse books for all coalition. ZERO TO THREE. (2024, February 6). https://www.zerotothree.org/diverse-books-for-all-coalition/

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Diverse Books for All Coalition Twenty-seven nonprofits and membership organizations from across the U.S. are joining forces to tackle a common challenge that has impeded children's literacy for decades: the lack of high-quality, affordable children's books by and about diverse races and cultures.

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The Smallest Girl in the Smallest Grade by Justin Roberts shows how even the smallest person can make a big change, namely by standing up and making their community a kinder place.

Malala’s Magic Pencil by Malala Yousafzai is based on the true story of the author on how a child can make change through her written word.

Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun: Having the Courage to Be Who You Are by Maria Dismondy demonstrates not only positive identity but also how to stand up for oneself and each others through forgiveness and acceptance.

Childrenslitlove. (2020, September 25). Picture books with characters who stand up to others. Picture Books with Characters Who Stand Up to Others. https://childrenslitlove.com/2020/09/25/picture-books-with-characters-who-stand-up-to-others/

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Have you been following along with us as we move through the year with a Family Focus Trait each month? We have been loving the intentionality and focus that it brings to conversations we're having with the girls, and I have to say I may be more excited about October's trait than I have been about any all year. And what makes this even better for us is that when we created our family's school mantra for this school year, one of the girls named this trait! I was thrilled that it was on her mind before we had even focused on it, and even more thrilled by the timing, since I knew this was coming next. So...

In October, we'll be reading picture books with upstanding role models, books with characters who stand up to and for others, facing down both friends and foes. Because being able to stand up for what's right and respectfully but strongly tell others what's right is absolutely a skill we want our children to carry with them through life.

Now, it's relatively easy to find books with characters who stand up to people who aren't their friends, those who have the courage to tell people they don't know well how what they're doing is wrong. But, it's a lot harder to find good examples of characters who dig deep and find what it takes to stand up to a close friend and let them know they need to change their behavior. However, as wise Albus Dumbledore once said, "There are all kinds of courage. It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends."

But, most children seem much more comfortable standing up to people they don't know well than they are standing up to their close friends, and when standing up for their friends than when standing up for themselves. So, I looked long and hard for books about all of the above, knowing that representing all was going to be very important. After all, we want them to be able to stand up for what's right in both big moments in their communities, states, or countries, but we also want them to be able to change their friends' paths if necessary. We want our children to be brave in telling a stranger at the playground to use gentle hands, but we also want them to be able to tell a friend at school to use kind words. These skills will grow with them through adolescents and into adulthood, as they face larger injustices or fight wrongs that have significant impacts to the recipients.

As the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg said, "Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you." Our hope is that these books help kids to develop the ability to stand up to both their enemies and their friends, and to fight for what's right in inspiring ways, truly impacting those enemies and friends.

So, here's what you've been waiting for... More than fifteen picture books to inspire your young people to be stand up to both friends and strangers, reminding them of what's right and fighting for it in a way that will impact lasting change. While I'm not sure yet what our monthly Family Focus Trait meetings will look like, I envision lots of role-play. Stay tuned for how we approach practicing being an upstander!

Picture Books with Characters Who Stand Up to Others

*** Affiliate links used. Most age ranges listed are publishers' recommendations. Always remember that you know your child best, and thank you for considering making a purchase through my links!

The Smallest Girl in the Smallest Grade by Justin Roberts, illustrated by Christian Robinson - In a school full of big people, the smallest girl in the smallest grade notices everything... the good AND the bad. And this girl, the smallest one in the school, decides to stand up and take a stand to make her school a kinder place. I love the message that all children can make a difference, as long as they take time to notice what needs to be changed. Ages 3-5, but great slightly older, too. Also featured in our list of books to help build compassion and empathy.

Be Kind by Pat Zietlow Miller, illustrated by Jen Hill - Okay, so only one small part of this book is about being an upstander, but that page is amazing, as is the rest of this book. One of the things that makes this book stand out among kindness books is how Miller addresses how hard it can be to be kind. The page about standing up to others does just this: "And sticking up for someone when others aren't kind is really hard. (And really scary.)" Ages 3-6, but great for all ages. This has been featured on many of my booklists; you can read my Instagram review here.

One by Kathryn Otoshi - If you don't know Kathryn Otoshi's "number/color" series, check it out. While Zero and Two are also phenomenal, this is my favorite. Otoshi uses emotional associations we have of colors (purple is regal, and red is "a hot head") to effectively deliver a story about being an upstander when someone is treating someone poorly. It's simple and fun and highly effective, so definitely read this one if you haven't read it before! Also featured on our rainbow and color booklist and our list of books featuring courageous role models. Ages 4-6, but great younger and older, too.

The Recess Queen by Alexis O'Neill, illustrated by Laura Huliska-Beth - Not only is this a terrifically fun book to read aloud to kids, but O'Neill gives us a wonderful role model of someone unexpected standing up to the Recess Queen. Not only does Katie Sue stand up to the Queen, but she then goes on to invite the Queen to play with her, reaching out in friendship. There's so much we can learn from Katie Sue! Ages 4-7. Also featured on our list of favorite school stories for social-emotional growth and list of picture books that model including others.

Malala's Magic Pencil by Malala Yousafzai, illustrated by Kerascoët - You probably know Malala's story, how she grew up in Pakistan, dreamed of changing the world and helping others, knew education was part of the path to doing so, but was brutally attacked for standing up for what she believed in. As we know, Malala didn't let any of those obstacles, even the attack, stop her from achieving her dreams. In fact, she uses her written word to stand up to her oppressors and tell the world the truth of her life and of those around her. I love that this self-written picture book biography tells Malala's scary story in a very accessible and child-friendly way, allowing our youngest readers to view her as a role model. Ages 4-8, but a great introduction to Malala for older students, too. Also included in our courage booklist and our list of picture books to promote resilience.

Super Manny Stands Up! by Kelly DiPucchio, illustrated by Stephanie Graegin - Super Manny Stands Up! is the story of Manny, a little raccoon with a big imagination! Each day after school, Manny dons a different cape and fights off various enemies. He smoothly and easily conquers these imaginary foes while wearing his colorful capes, but he saves his most important, invisible cape for school. Most of his opponents at school are also imaginary, until one day, Tall One starts to push Small One around in the lunchroom. At first, Manny isn't sure what to do, but then he remembers his invisible cape and the courage it gives him to stand up... Ages 4-8. You can read my full review here.

Say Something! by Peter H. Reynolds - This one's an important read for all parents and children, as it can help children find their voice and express themselves in a wide variety of ways. But, Reynolds does touch explicitly on using your voice to stand up for others on what is honestly a very emotional spread. Be sure to pay attention to the end pages here, as they're bound to start wonderful conversations! Ages 4-8.

Speak Up by Miranda Paul, illustrated by Ebony Glenn - Opening with "There are times when we should be quiet. There are days for letting go. But when matters seem important - SPEAK UP! Let others know," you know this one's going to be a winner for teaching about standing up to others. Paul talks about standing up for what's right in many ways, from telling a friend she's about to step in a mud puddle to stopping a rumor before it spreads, and everything in between. The illustrations here are also delightfully diverse. Ages 4-8.

Hunter's Best Friend at School by Laura Malone Elliott, illustrated by Lynn Munsinger - Oh Hunter's Best Friend at School... If you have a young elementary schooler, you need to read this book. At some point in their school careers, children are bound to have times when their best friends make poor choices, and they have to find the courage to stand up to that friend and do the right thing. This is a must-read for anyone helping children understand how to be an upstander when it comes to their truest friendships. Ages 4-8, but perfect for the younger end of this age range. Also featured on our list of books featuring courageous role models.

Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun: Having the Courage to Be Who You Are by Maria Dismondy, illustrated by Kim Shaw - While usually thought of as a book about individuality, self-confidence, and embracing differences, Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun also provides a wonderful example of standing up to those who are mean. As with The Recess Queen, after standing up to Ralph, Lucy realizes that he, too, has "a heart with feelings." Rather than hold his mistakes against him forever, Lucy decides to forgive him and extend her hand in friendship. Ages 5-10.

Get Up, Stand Up adapted by Cedella Marley, illustrated by John Jay Cabuay - Based on the song by Bob Marley, Get Up, Stand Up follows a girl through her normal activities and shows all the opportunities she has to stand up for what's right. Though there is a repeated refrain ("Get up, stand up. Stand up for your rights. Get up, stand up. Don't give up the fight."), other lines read more powerfully to me. For example, accompanying an illustration of watching a girl get picked on on the bus, Marley writes, "Don't just sit tight. Be a bright light." So many wonderful reminders here that being an upstander takes true action! Ages 6-8.

The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes, illustrated by Louis Slobodkin - Please, just buy this one and reread it often with your children. Though Maddie never finds the courage to stand up to her best friend, Maddie, and help Wanda, the lesson about the importance of doing just so is incredibly powerful. This book has made its way to many of my lists, because it's just that good. Ages 6-9, and great older, too. Also featured on our list of picture books that model including others, our favorite school stories for social-emotional growth, books to build compassion and empathy, and books about authentic apologies and genuine forgiveness; you can read my full review here.

My Name is Bilal by Asma Mobin-Uddin, illustrated by Barbara Kiwak - Unlike many books on this list, the main character here, Bilal, fails to stand up for his sister and his faith a few times before finding the courage to do both. Not only will My Name is Bilal open doors for conversations about how difficult it can be to do the right thing, but be prepared for conversations about self-confidence and self-esteem as well as religious prejudice. Ages 6 and up, but is fairly lengthy, so is probably best for slightly older.

Sit-In: How Four Friends Stood Up by Sitting Down by Andrea Davis Pinkney, illustrated by Brian Pinkney - Sometimes, being an upstander means using actions rather than words to stand up for what's right. And that's just what happened in Greensboro in 1960, when four friends sat down peacefully at a segregated lunch counter and waited to be served. This book was always a favorite with my third graders, and I'm excited to dig deeper into it with my own girls now that they're a little bit older. Ages 6 and up.

Say Something by Peggy Moss, illustrated by Lea Lyon - Oh, y'all, this one was new to me when I made this list, and it's so good. This Say Something, not to be confused with Peter Reynolds' above, follows the protagonist's life at school, where she witnesses many wrongdoings without taking a stand against them. But then, one day, she is on the receiving end of this behavior and wonders why no one around her is doing anything to help. If you only buy one book on this list, I'd strongly suggest you consider this one! Ages 7 and up.

Stand in My Shoes: Kids Learning About Empathy by Bob Sornson, illustrated by Shelley Johannes - I was unable to find an age range for this one, but I think it's great for all ages. This book is about Emily, a younger sister who learns an important lesson about empathy from her older sister. Emily takes this lesson to heart, working to see how she can help other in need, and taking the time to ask questions when she feels people in her community need help. At the end, Emily tells her sister, "People really like it when you recognize how they feel. Just noticing seem to touch their hearts." While most of this book is about gaining insight into how others feel, one powerful spread does show Emily speaking up for a smaller girl who gets knocked down on the way to the bus.

If you liked this list, check out our other Family Focus Trait booklists from 2020!

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Picture Books with Characters Who Stand Up to Others

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Have you been following along with us as we move through the year with a Family Focus Trait each month? We have been loving the intentionality and focus that it brings to conversations we're having with the girls, and I have to say I may be more excited about October's trait than I have been...

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The Sandwich Swap by Queen Rania of Jordan and Kelly DiPucchio shows how even when you are different and enjoy different things you can still be the best of friends.

This Is How We Do It by Matt LaMothe shows how people around the world do the same things just a little differently.

Public Broadcasting Service. (n.d.). 11 picture books to celebrate diversity. PBS. https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/picture-books-to-celebrate-diversity

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11 Picture Books to Celebrate Diversity | Parenting Tips & Advice | PBS KIDS for Parents

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This list of books featuring diverse characters and highlighting the importance of diversity in communities is a great way to start conversations about diversity with your young children.

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The above youtube video Raising Anti-Racist Kids discusses how centering families and creating equitable learning environments are foundational with raising the next generation as Anti-Racist.

Banks, Dr. K. (2022, May 26). Raising anti-racist children w/ Britt Hawthorne. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ1DZ4XEEGQ

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Raising Anti-Racist, Anti-Bias Kids With Britt Hawthorne

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This article from Facing History and Ourselves guides families through ways to prevent bullying by addressing personal bias as well as creating safe spaces that encourage children to communicate with families.

Combating bullying and bias: Resources for parents and Caregivers. Facing History & Ourselves. (n.d.). https://www.facinghistory.org/combating-bullying-bias-resources-parents-caregivers

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Teen Mental Health is a serious concern and the number of teens reporting poor mental health is increasing. Facing History and our partners at Making Caring Common and The Choose Kindness project recognize the important role parents and caregivers play in supporting adolescents as they develop their sense of identity, agency, and belonging.

Centered on helping young people learn how to become upstanders-people who speak out against bigotry and hate- these downloadable resources for adult caregivers are adapted from Facing History's evidence-based leading classroom materials.

Our goal is to equip parents and caretakers to engage in open, honest discussions with their teens on issues around bullying, bias, isolation, and bigotry - including how to identify and stand up to such occurrences while also building their capacity to empathize with and consider the perspectives of others.

What Is Bullying?

One of the contributing factors in the continuing teen mental health crisis is bullying. Often linked to feelings of sadness, isolation, anxiety, and in some cases even physical harm, bullying can be especially detrimental to young people's sense of connectedness, safety, and confidence.

Taking a variety of forms, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) classifies bullying as a type of youth violence and that involves any unwanted, recurring or likely to recur aggressive behavior(s) by another person or group of people and involves an observed or perceived power imbalance.

Bullying Resources for Parents and Caregivers

Our array of resources provide strategies and techniques to help you support teens in developing a reflective and caring mindset towards themselves and others, whether at school, at home, or within their broader community and beyond.

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Combating Bullying and Bias: Resources for Parents and Caregivers

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Combat bullying, bigotry, and bias and support your teenagers' social and emotional wellbeing with these strategies for parents and caregivers.

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This Ted Talk by Verna Myers addresses overcoming bias by facing them head on, this resource is important for adult family members to prevent their bias from passing on to their children.

Myers, V. (n.d.). How to overcome our biases? walk boldly toward them. Vernā Myers: How to overcome our biases? Walk boldly toward them | TED Talk. https://www.ted.com/talks/verna_myers_how_to_overcome_our_biases_walk_boldly_toward_them/transcript

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Get a daily email featuring the latest talk, plus a quick mix of trending content.

By subscribing, you understand and agree that we will store, process and manage your personal information according to our Privacy Policy

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Vernā Myers: How to overcome our biases? Walk boldly toward them

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Our biases can be dangerous, even deadly - as we've seen in the cases of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, and Eric Garner, in Staten Island, New York. Diversity advocate Vernā Myers looks closely at some of the subconscious attitudes we hold toward out-groups. She makes a plea to all people: Acknowledge your biases.

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The Book Luli and the Language of Tea by Andrea Wang follows a new student in an ESL classroom meeting her peers and noticing the no one shares a language so she decides to bring everyone together over tea. This books encourages understanding and empathy.

Gordon, C. (2024, April 17). 15 books that model empathy and compassion for young readers. Brightly. https://www.readbrightly.com/books-that-model-empathy-compassion-young-readers/

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Though they may speak different languages, kids from all over the world come together to enjoy the shared pastime of tea in this delicious book for young readers.

When five-year-old Luli joins her new English as a Second Language class, the playroom is quiet. Luli can't speak English, neither can anyone else. That's when she has a brilliant idea to host a tea party and bring them all together.

Luli removes her teapot, thermos, and teacups from her bag and calls out " Chá! " in her native Chinese. One by one, her classmates pipe up in recognition: in Russian, Hindi, Turkish, Persian, Arabic, and Spanish, Portuguese, and Swahili. Tea is a tasty language they all know well, and it gives them a chance to share and enjoy each other's company. When all the tea is gone and it's time for dessert, Luli gets to use her favorite English word, cookie! After that, the playroom isn't so quiet.

Informed by her own experience as the child of Chinese immigrant parents, Andrea Wang makes the point that when you're looking to communicate with people, you look for a common bond. The word for "tea" is similar in many languages, and tea becomes the unifying metaphor that brings a diverse group of children together. Additional material at the back of the book explores the rich and ancient history of tea drinking across cultures all around the world and contains maps, statistics, and fascinating details that will delight young readers.

An American Library Association Notable Children's Book
A Booklist Editors' Choice Selection
A CSMCL Best Multicultural Children's Book of the Year

Andrea Wang is the award-winning author of Watercress, illustrated by Jason Chin, which Kirkus called "Understated, deep, and heart rending" in a starred review. She is also the author of The Nian Monster and Magic Ramen: The Story of Momofuku Ando as well as the forthcoming middle-grade novel, The Many Meanings of Meilan. Andrea holds an M.S. in Environmental Science and an M.F.A. in Creative Writing for Young People. She lives in Colorado with her family.

Hyewon Yum is the author and illustrator of many acclaimed books for children, including Not Little, written by Maya Myers (Neal Porter Books, 2021). Other books include This Is Our House, The Twins' Blanket, There Are No Scary Wolves, and Last Night. Her book Mom, It's My First Day of Kindergarten! received the Ezra Jack Keats New Illustrator Award. She lives in Brooklyn, New York, with her family.

"There's inclusion from the start. . . . No one language or culture is prioritized, and no one is left out. One of the book's linguistic treats is that each language's word for tea is presented both phonetically (as it sounds when uttered out loud) and in written form, giving readers a visual taste of Mandarin, Russian, Hindi, Persian and Arabic."-New York Times

"Gentle, child-like art is as inviting as a cup of warm tea. With utter simplicity, this book connects disparate cultures to build natural community."-San Francisco Chronicle

★ "[A] gladdening picture book. . . . Yum demonstrates her facility with colored pencils in Luli's classroom scenes and endpapers, in which a glorious spread captures an assortment of teacups, each decorated in a style suited to the country it represents." -Shelf Awareness, Starred Review

★ "Wang writes a simple, precise narrative that is more than the sum of its parts. Few writers could conjure up the characters' contentment as concisely. . . . Yum's sensitive colored-pencil illustrations use clean lines, rounded shapes, and soft hues to depict the setting and reveal the characters' emotions. . . . A rewarding read-aloud choice."-Booklist, Starred Review

"Wang ( Watercress) brings a group of children together via a beloved beverage in this warming picture book. . . . a bird's-eye view emphasizes the community that accompanies sharing a cup of tea."-Publishers Weekly

"Yum's colored-pencil illustrations work alongside Wang's simple, rhythmic text to highlight the concepts of uniqueness and similarity. . . . A warming and gentle celebration of connection."-Kirkus Reviews

"Tea drinking everywhere celebrates community and togetherness; Wang ( Watercress, rev. 3/21) has cleverly re-created (and diversified) that ritual in a microcosm. Yum's ( Saturday Is Swimming Day, rev. 7/18) overhead view of the table shows smiling faces and varied skin tones, and her illustrations make clear that the Asian teacups with no handles are perfect for small hands-and safe."-The Horn Book

"Wang's seamless text weaves the children's names, spoken language, and pronunciations into her story. Meanwhile Yum's illustrations give life and personality to the children with spot-on expressions and plenty of detail. . . . A delightful look at coming together despite differences. . . ."-School Library Journal

"Uplifting, heart-filling, and beautifully illustrated, Luli and the Language of Tea reminds us that the language of kindness is universal."-Christina Soontornvat, Newbery and Sibert Honoree for All Thirteen

"With charm and lightness of touch, Andrea Wang and Hyewon Yum brew up a universal instance in the lives of all recent immigrants-the welcome realization that despite our different languages and the color of our skin, we are blended more by our similarities than our differences."-Eugene Yelchin, Newbery Honoree for Breaking Stalin's Nose and author of Genius at the Table

"Like a sip of delicious hot tea, this book will warm your heart and feed your soul. A wonderful reminder that taking a risk and pouring yourself into new friendships can lead to connections that are deeper than words." -Minh Lê, author of Drawn Together and Lift

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Luli and the Language of Tea by Andrea Wang: 9780823446148 | Brightly Shop

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Though they may speak different languages, kids from all over the world come together to enjoy the shared pastime of tea in this delicious book for young readers. When five-year-old Luli joins her new...

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This website provides simple activities that promotes empathy and kindness including roleplaying and boardgames.

Vallejo, M., & Name. (n.d.). 25 best empathy activities for kids. Mental Health Center Kids. https://mentalhealthcenterkids.com/blogs/articles/empathy-activities-for-kids

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Empathy is the ability to understand and share another's feelings.

Teaching empathy is important as it allows kids to be more understanding and caring.

Children can learn about empathy from an early age with a wide range of activities.

Many of us might recall an adult in our childhood telling us to "try and put yourself in someone else's shoes." This statement emphasizes the idea of empathy, which is the ability to understand and relate to the feelings of another person. Teaching your kids this concept can be more effective with empathy activities for kids so you can really illustrate the behavior. It also helps to teach them empathy from an early age. Here's why helping your kids to be more empathetic is important.

What is Empathy?

Empathy is being able to sense other people's feelings and relate to them. It also involves mirroring someone else's feelings with no selfish intention. The main goal of being empathetic is to understand someone more clearly. This allows kids to bring kindness and compassion to their relationships.

There are emotional and cognitive aspects of empathy. Emotional empathy means being able to experience the emotional state of another person. Cognitive empathy is the ability to imagine the emotional experience of another.

For instance, if your child sees their friend crying, emotional empathy would motivate your child to want to help. Cognitive empathy, on the other hand, helps them understand why their friend is sad and needs to be comforted.

For example, if a child sees his friend crying, emotional empathy motivates the child to want to help, but cognitive empathy brings the understanding that the other child is sad and may need to be comforted.

The Importance of Teaching Empathy to Kids

The importance of teaching empathy to kids is quite straightforward: teaching kids how others feel will encourage them to be more careful with their actions and words. Cognitive empathy, in particular, develops later on in childhood when kids better understand that people may have different perspectives and experiences from their own. This allows for a better understanding of others and promotes kinder relationships with their peers and other people.

At What Age Can Kids Learn About Empathy?

Studies have shown that empathy can start developing at a very early age. Newborn babies are actually able to show distress reactions, which are early forms of empathic reactions, when they are exposed to the sound of another crying baby [*].

As babies develop into toddlers, they are more able to engage in empathic behaviors when someone displays distress, such as showing facial expressions, hugging, verbal expressions of support. This is an example of prosocial behavior, particularly giving verbal comfort and advice, sharing, and distracting the person who is distressed [*].

Benefits of Teaching Empathy to Kids

There are several benefits of teaching kids empathy, including the following:

It helps build a sense of security in their relationships with other children and adults

Empathy encourages acceptance and tolerance of others

It positions children well for learning when they understand themselves and others

Empathy promotes good mental health

Empathy promotes higher levels of happiness

Empathy encourages social harmony and reduces the likelihood of bullying

25 Best Empathy Activities for Kids

Teaching empathy activities doesn't have to be boring for you and your child! There are many activities that you can try together that will effectively teach what empathy is and allow your child to practice it in different situations.

1. Label your feelings

Present your kids with different scenarios and ask them to label their feelings after imagining themselves in those situations. Some examples include being bullied, sitting alone at lunch, or being teased at the playground. This can help them express emotions such as sadness, frustration, pain, and even anger. You can help them understand their feelings better by talking about the emotion and explaining how to channel it in a healthy way. This activity is ideal for children ages 6 and up.

2. Drawing emotions

Drawing or illustrating is a great way to teach kids about simple and complex emotions. Ask your kids to draw faces depending on how they're feeling. Afterward, discuss why they portrayed their feelings that way and what may have caused them. This is a great activity for children ages 4 and up.

3. Modeling emotions

If you're thinking of how to teach empathy to kids in a creative way, then bring out the blocks of clay that you have in your house or classroom. Modeling using clay or playdough can help children work on their fine motor skills, creativity, and socio-emotional skills. Guide them through the activity by asking them to model out their emotions using the clay. You can then ask them specifics on how the face looks to really help them practice their emotional recognition skills. Children aged 4 and up can enjoy this activity.

4. Acts of kindness

This activity will encourage children to be empathic by showing kindness. Have your child tell you about something kind they did for someone else and how they felt about it. Next, ask them to do something helpful for someone else and to tell you about it when they are done. This allows kids to reflect upon their actions and be more motivated to be understanding of someone else's situation and always be kind. This is a good activity for children aged 5 and above.

5. The golden rule

The golden rule is a great way to teach kids about treating others the way they would want to be treated. You can illustrate this with both positive and negative examples, such as getting invited to play or being made fun of. Here, it is important to teach your child that if someone does something to hurt them, it does not give them the right to hurt that person back. This allows them to develop better relationships with friends and peers as well as understand different perspectives. This is an appropriate activity for children aged 6 and above.

6. Emotion charades

Emotional charades can challenge children to express their feelings without saying them using words. This activity helps kids identify other people's emotions through non-verbal cues. You can use flashcards to help make this activity easier. This is good for kids aged 5 and up.

7. Differences and similarities

This simple activity can help children learn how to be more accepting and understanding of people who are different from them. Explain to your kids that no two people are exactly the same. Some may be taller or shorter, while others may be better at outdoor games than indoor ones. Tell them how these differences make each person unique and that we still share important similarities, such as how we feel about one another. This activity is good for children aged 6 and up.

8. Roleplaying

Teaching empathy to kids can also be done with roleplaying. Give children a specific situation and ask them to think about how they would feel. Then, instruct them to act it out as though they were really in that situation. Some good examples would be if their classmate broke their toy, yelled at them, or if they found a puppy. Praise good reactions and patiently teach them other ways to respond if they show aggression or anger. This can be done with children who are 6 years old and older.

9. Emotion worksheets

Worksheets are a great way to engage kids and teach them more about emotions. You can use a worksheet for exploring emotions so that kids can learn how to recognize feelings and how they act as a result.

10. Mood charts and trackers

Another great way to understand emotions is to teach your kids how to track their moods. Using a mood tracker or a feelings chart, have your child write down how they feel every day throughout the week. Then, look back on their chart and allow them to explain how and why they may have felt. This allows your kids to reflect and understand their feelings more deeply. This type of worksheet is great for kids aged 7 or older.

11. Stories and movies

Children love movies, so choosing ones that teach empathy can really make an impression on them. Try films such as E.T., Inside Out, or Zootopia. You can also narrate or read stories from books that show the importance of being kind and empathetic. When doing so, try pausing and asking them to identify the feelings of the characters. This activity is suitable for children aged 4 and up.

12. Paper chain of kindness

This is a fun and creative way of emphasizing the importance of acts of kindness. Have your kids cut out paper strips and write down acts of kindness they offered or received that day. Help them glue, tape, or staple the strips of paper to form a chain and hang them up on the wall. They can keep adding to the chain every time they give or receive an act of kindness. This is perfect for children aged 4 years old and up.

13. Board games

Board games are a fun way to have children learn! You can choose games like My Feelings or Happy or Not to talk about feelings while having fun at the same time. These games are good for kids 4 years old and up.

14. Empathy display

This activity is excellent for teachers who have students that are getting to know each other a little better. Using paper cutouts in the shape of shoes, have the children choose a shoe and color it in. Tack it up on a board with the statement "You can't understand someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes." Then have the children share their colored shoe along with a few facts about them. This is suitable for kids aged 5 and up.

15. Journaling

Journaling is one method that can promote empathy in children. By further understanding their own thoughts and feelings, it is easier for kids to learn about the thoughts and feelings of others. Simple journaling prompts can be used for younger children, so this activity can start as early as age 4.

16. Kindness to animals

Teaching kids to be kind and gentle to animals can teach them how to be more empathetic in general. Your child can help take care of your pets by playing with them or tending to their needs. If you don't have a pet, then your child could offer to walk the neighbor's pet. Other examples of activities you can do are creating a bird feeder or reading a book about being kind to animals. Kids aged 4 and up can do these activities.

17. Sentence completion

Sentence completion is a great way for children to understand their emotions even more. Write down sentences for them to complete, such as "I feel excited when..." or "When I see my friend is sad, I..." This is great for kids who are 5 years old or older.

18. Emotion wheel activities

Create an emotion wheel and hang it up in your home or classroom. This will help kids identify emotional states, explore their emotions in everyday situations, start conversations about emotions, and even express the intensity of their emotions. Kids 4 years old and up can use emotion wheels.

19. Perspective-taking

Perspective-taking is an activity that can be quite enlightening for kids. Sometimes what is obvious to others may not be clear to us until we see it from their perspective. Have a set of scenarios that your kids or students might encounter and have them answer questions on how people in that situation might feel. You can also ask your kids how they feel about the situation. This is great for kids aged 5 and up.

20. Conversation cubes

Conversation cubes are a fun way to start discussions on different topics, especially those related to prosocial behaviors such as friendship and gratitude. Create cubes out of paper with statements on each side. They can be questions like "What would you say to a friend who is sad?" and other similar statements. This is suitable for children aged 4 and up.

21. Different interests

Teach your child that people have different interests and preferences. You can start by asking questions about who does what in your family and their classroom. For example, ask questions about what people do for fun: Who likes to play basketball? Who enjoys video games? Who likes Legos? It sounds simple, but even older kids will benefit from remembering their friends' preferences as it helps them show that they care. This activity can be done by kids aged 4 and up.

22. Emotion collage

Get some old magazines and search for pictures of faces feeling different things. Cut them up and make a collage. You and your child can have fun hypothesizing why these people feel this way. This can be done by kids aged 4 and up.

23. Help a friend

Putting an emphasis on helping others shows children that they have connections and interpersonal relationships with other people. Organize activities and opportunities that will allow your kids to help others, such as volunteering. This will allow them to be more caring and empathetic toward others in their community. Helping others can be done as early as 4 years of age.

24. Say something nice

One way to be empathetic is to say something nice to a friend. Encourage your kids to say something nice to someone everyday until it becomes a habit. Kids aged 4 and up can do this simple but kind act.

25. Sharing

It is true that sharing is caring. Teaching your kids how to share their belongings with friends can help them observe how it makes another person feel. Encourage them to share their toys, food, and other things with friends. Sharing can be taught to children as young as 4 years of age.

Tips for Incorporating Empathy Activities Into Kids' Daily Life

Incorporating empathy activities into kids' daily life can be fun and easy.

One of the things parents can do is model empathetic behavior. It also helps to label emotions so that your kids can understand exactly what they are feeling. More importantly, validating children's emotions is important as it shows that you care.

Lastly, parents, teachers, and other adults can work on expressing their own feelings in a healthy way. When kids understand why others feel a certain way, they learn to be more empathetic themselves.

The Bottom Line

With the help of these activities to teach empathy, you can let your kids learn how to tune into the feelings of others. While many show sympathy, few actually understand and empathize with other people. If you instill in children the quality of empathy from an early age, they will grow up to be understanding, polite, and compassionate. Make sure that every day is educational and meaningful for your kids now that you have this list.

References:

1. Martin G & Clark R. Distress crying in neonates: Species and peer specificity. 1982.

2. Knafo-Noam A, Zahn-Waxler C, van Hulle C. The Developmental Origins of a Disposition Toward Empathy: Genetic and Environmental Contributions. January 2009.

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Kids can benefit from learning empathy at an early age. Read on to learn more about empathy activities for kids.

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This PBS article gives families strategies to help develop empathy in their children from modeling and role play to reading stories and talking.

Public Broadcasting Service. (n.d.-b). Social skills: Empathy at age 4. PBS. https://www.pbs.org/parents/learn-grow/age-4/social-skills/empathy#:~:text=Feelings%20of%20Others-,Give%20kids%20practice%20imagining%20how%20other%20people%20are%20feeling.,share%20your%20sandwich%20quite%20yet.

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Social Skills: Empathy at Age 4 | Milestones

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This Sesame Street clip does a great job of sharing what is like to have Autism and interact with friends who have autism.

YouTube. (2015, October 20). Sesame Street & Autism: Highlight Reel. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuV8AddbXIs

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In the book We Move Together by Kelly Fritsch, Anne McGuire, and Eduardo Trejos explores a group of children of different abilities and how thy navigate life, relationships, and obstacles.

We move together (hardcover). We Move Together (Hardcover) | Charis Books & More and Charis Circle. (n.d.). https://www.charisbooksandmore.com/book/9781849354042

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Ontario Library Association Best Bets 2021 List.Winner of the International Latino Book Awards' Best Educational Children's Picture Book in English.A bold and colorful exploration of all the ways that people navigate through the spaces around them and a celebration of the relationships we build along the way.

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This book list explores a variety of books that center diverse families in the story including families who are interracial, multigenerational, LGBTQ, and with varying family structures.

Six children’s books that celebrate family diversity. Human Rights Campaign. (n.d.). https://www.hrc.org/news/six-childrens-books-that-celebrate-family-diversity

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Six Children’s Books that Celebrate Family Diversity

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As children around the world return to school, HRC is celebrating back to school season with six books that embrace family diversity, as recommended by Welcoming Schools.

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This article shares ways to talk about as well as celebrate different families at home.

Noggin: Little Kids, big learning. Celebrating Different Family Structures. (n.d.). https://www.noggin.com/resources/family-structures/

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This activity uses family pictures to talk to children about different types of families.

Family photos: The many ways to make a family. Big Heart. (2022, November 17). https://www.bigheartworld.org/family-photos-the-many-ways-to-make-a-family/

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Family Photos: The Many Ways to Make a Family - Big Heart

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Welcome to the Guide! On this page, you'll learn more about what to expect and how to use this guide in your family.

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This article outlines ways families and educators can create safe places for all children to feel comfortable to be themselves and respectful of others namely regarding gender.

Tate and the Pink Coat: Exploring Gender and enacting Anti-Bias Principles. NAEYC. (n.d.). https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/mar2019/exploring-gender-enacting-anti-bias

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Mittens and boots fly as 3-year-olds bundle up to adventure out into the winter snow. Tate, ready to go in the middle of the line, stands with no coat and bare arms. When Ms. Tiana, one of his teachers, approaches, Tate quietly shares that he did not have a coat he could wear to school that morning. She assures him that there are plenty of extra coats he can choose from for the day.

"Wow, this looks beautiful, and it's so fuzzy!" Tate says. He glows as he shows off the bright pink coat he's found in the box of extra outdoor clothing. It is a puffy coat complete with a faux fur leopard lining.

"No, no, that's a girl coat; I'm sure we have another you can use," Ms. Diane, another teacher, says. As she digs back into the box, Tate's face fills with embarrassment and shame. The only "boy" coat in the collection is dark blue and several sizes too small. When Tate tries it on, his discomfort is evident. "This one's too tight," he says. Seeing this interaction, Ms. Tiana steps in and assures Tate that he is welcome to wear any coat he chooses, including the pink one. Tate smiles, snatches up the pink coat, and hops back into line with his friends.

The example above demonstrates Ms. Tiana working to create a gender-inclusive space for Tate as he selects the jacket he prefers. Gender-inclusive spaces allow children to easily move between roles or materials commonly regarded as male or female without any gendered expectations or barriers. For nearly thirty years, proponents of anti-bias education have reminded us that "it is not human differences that undermine children's development but rather unfair, hurtful treatment based upon those differences" (Derman-Sparks & Edwards 2010, 3). Children's emotional safety may be compromised when adults or peers express disapproval of young children for supposedly incorrect gender expressions (Chrisman & Couchenour 2003). In this article, we argue that by working to create inclusive classroom environments and thus modeling acceptance of gender exploration in the early childhood classroom, we allow children the freedom to be their most authentic selves, regardless of how they come to identify themselves as adults.

Gender-inclusive classrooms promote an anti-bias atmosphere in which all children can explore and grow. Creating a space that promotes equity, safety, and respect for all members of a classroom community is a hallmark of good teaching and school leadership (Derman-Sparks & Edwards 2010; Mosso-Taylor 2016; Kroeger & Regula 2017). However, from early childhood through high school, children who do not conform to traditional gender roles and forms of expression are likely to be harassed, bullied, or physically assaulted-and all too often, teachers and administrators ignore these instances of harassment (Kosciw et al. 2012).

Youth who do not conform to traditional ideas about gender are less likely to finish high school or college, are overrepresented among homeless youth, and are more likely to have mental health concerns than their gender-conforming peers (Choi et al. 2015). Given these challenging social problems, we believe it is never too early to positively support young children's gender exploration and expression. Even in the most innocent-seeming moments, such as Tate's selection of a pink coat, our words and actions may affect children's emotional, social, and identity development.

We believe it is never too early to positively support young children's gender exploration.

For many years, anti-bias practices related to gender have tended to emphasize promoting a non-sexist atmosphere (Derman-Sparks & ABC Task Force 1989; Derman-Sparks & Edwards 2010; Campbell, Smith, & Alexander 2016). As Tate's story makes clear, however, combating sexism is only one small part of creating a gender-inclusive classroom. This article advances conversations about gender diversity and anti-bias education. It supports children and teachers in challenging gender-related bias, examining its personal consequences, and countering the "negative effects of bias on children, themselves, and their communities" (Gunn 2003, 132).

In this article, we use Tate's choice of the pink coat to discuss the practical underpinnings of gender and anti-bias decision-making in the classroom. We hope that after reading this article, teachers will be better equipped to work through their own biases before responding to young children who are exploring gender in nontraditional ways. Additionally, we hope to help teachers reflect on how seemingly minor things, such as a collection of pink dress-up clothes or a block area adorned mostly with dinosaurs and trucks, might feel like barriers for children who wish to play outside of stereotypical gender roles.

Gender-inclusive classrooms promote an anti-bias atmosphere in which all children can explore and grow.

Considering how to engage with children in more supportive and inclusive ways can start with learning gender concepts, intentionally reworking classroom materials, and being more thoughtful about communicating with children and families. We explore these three strategies in detail; for more ideas, see "Supporting Gender Diversity in Your Classroom".

Learning gender concepts

Ideas about gender and sexuality are constantly evolving. They overlap with anti-bias principles and can be confusing to educators (and families) (Derman-Sparks & ABC Task Force 1989; Derman-Sparks, LeeKeenan, & Nimmo 2015). Learning some terminology and current thinking about gender constructs can help.

The term gender brings together three notions-an individual's assigned gender (done at birth based on physical appearance), gender identity, and gender expression (Killermann 2018; Newman 2016; Human Rights Campaign 2017). The traditional view of gender is binary-male or female. Babies are assigned male or female at birth, and then are expected to identify and express themselves as such throughout their lives (Gunn & MacNaughton 2007). In contrast, more current thinking on gender is expansive. Rather than a binary notion or even a continuum (masculine to feminine), gender is considered multifaceted, interrelated with other aspects of one's identity (e.g., spiritual beliefs, race), and may be fluid (i.e., for some people gender identity is not fixed) (Ehrensaft 2012; Kroeger & Regula 2017). Note that this discussion of gender is not a discussion of sexuality, which is a separate concept regarding sexual and romantic attraction. In popular culture, concepts of gender and sexuality are often conflated (Gunn 2011). Neither gender identity nor gender expression determines sexual orientation (i.e., attraction).

When teachers reflect deeply on their understandings of gender, they can make more informed decisions and create opportunities to address inequity and bias.

In many ways, our society has already abandoned many of its more traditional ideas about gender-for example, we've accepted that women can be scientists and men can be nurses, moving away from the idea that certain behaviors, skills, and abilities are associated only with certain genders. But current thinking on gender goes further; it lets go of the idea that gender assigned at birth, gender identity, and gender expression must align and must stay the same over time. For example, a child assigned female at birth may identify as female but often choose to wear outfits (a facet of gender expression) that our society sees as male, like plaid shirts and cargo shorts; or a child assigned male at birth may identify as female but choose to wear plaid shirts and cargo shorts to avoid being bullied. As children mature, their gender identities and preferred forms of expression may change (Ehrensaft 2012; NASP 2014). Exploration of gender in the early years helps children form and reform their gender identities, discovering their interests and the many ways they can express themselves (Ehrensaft 2012; Kroeger & Regula 2017). Throughout children's explorations and changes, it is important for teachers, families, and other caregivers to remain open, responsive, and supportive.

Many educators find it helpful to study gender terminology and visual models of gender concepts (Human Rights Campaign 2017; Killermann 2018). Two websites we recommend with such resources for teachers of young children are GLSEN ( www.glsen.org/article/gender-terminology) and Gender Justice in Early Childhood ( www.genderjusticeinearlychildhood.com).

Reexamining the pink coat scenario

Opening up opportunities for children to express their gender more freely and reducing gender barriers (or biases) requires teachers to reflect critically on their thinking and practice (Derman-Sparks, LeeKeenan, & Nimmo 2015). Pedagogical change is more likely to succeed when teachers choose to make a change than when it is imposed on them by external policy demands (Gunn & MacNaughton 2007). When teachers reflect deeply on their personal understandings of gender, they can begin to make more informed decisions and create opportunities to address inequity and bias. Learning to support gender exploration in the classroom enables teachers to ensure that children feel safe and acquire more sophisticated understandings about gender as they learn and grow.

Reflecting on Tate's experience, we can see that what his two teachers personally defined as appropriate (or inappropriate) for young children guided their actions. We could say that for Ms. Tiana, Tate's sense of self, of autonomy, and of belonging in the classroom were prioritized. At first glance, it seems that for Ms. Diane conformity to traditional gender expression was more important than Tate's desire, warmth, or comfort-but perhaps she had not taken the time to examine her own biases or misconceptions surrounding gender. In any case, Ms. Diane's actions reinforced expectations for conformity to the gender expressions typically promoted in our broader society.

When we engage with children, we are constantly emitting subtle cues, whether we are conscious of our biases and values or not. Ms. Diane may have been worried about negative judgments from other teachers or from Tate's parents, or perhaps about other children teasing Tate. In other words, she may have been motivated by concern for Tate's emotional safety. She may also have felt an internal discomfort with Tate's choice and acted impulsively, unaware of the messages (e.g., boys don't wear pink) she might have conveyed to Tate and his peers.

Increasingly, work from mental health fields (including school psychology) indicates that it is important for young children to be able to explore gender in their earliest years by playing with their appearance (e.g., hairstyle, makeup, clothing, jewelry). This enables children to understand how external appearance or aspects of gender expression may or may not match internal gender identity or assigned biological sex (Ehrensaft 2012; NASP 2014). This is especially relevant for children who are engaging in nontraditional gender expressions and play, and all the more so for children who remain engaged in such expressions throughout childhood. Approaching children neutrally or affirmatively, as Ms. Tiana did, also creates space for children to freely and fully explore their interests. Ms. Tiana's actions led to Tate's emotional security, shown by his smile and his quickly lining up to play outside.

Reworking classroom materials

When teachers establish classroom spaces that support the traditional binary concept of gender (for example, putting the boys' photos and names on blue paper and the girls' on pink paper), they may inadvertently reinforce children's stereotyped constructions of gender and unintentionally create social conditions that limit children to traditional gender roles (Gosselin 2007; Chrisman & Couchenour 2003). To create neutral spaces for exploration, educators need to acknowledge how gender limitations and biases might exist in classrooms and deliberately avoid and/or counteract them (Freeman 2007; Sullivan 2016).

Offering open-ended materials

Materials are among the most important aspects to consider when creating an inclusive, gender-neutral classroom. We encourage teachers to select materials that invite exploration without imposing gender expectations. For example, one simple change is to avoid objects that reinforce gendered play, like those that suggest pink is for girls and blue is for boys. Toys and objects with neutral color palettes, such as an unpainted wooden doll house with gender-nonspecific figures, may help children feel more welcome to explore various roles, labels, and activities in their play. These neutral materials also enable more creative play, as children can decorate the house and design outfits for the figures.

Stocking the classroom with found materials and loose parts can encourage play that isn't limited by traditional understandings of gender.

Even when materials are specifically chosen (or created) for their neutrality or representational ambiguity, children bring their own expectations, assumptions, experiences, and memories to their play. One way that teachers may begin broadening children's perspectives is by incorporating more open-ended materials into classroom spaces. Fabrics of various colors and textures are an exciting alternative to premade tutus or firefighter jackets-and (like an unpainted dollhouse) they challenge children to engage in more creative play. Children can use fabrics to transform into any character and apply them to any dramatic play context, which can help reduce play fraught with gender expectations.

Stocking the classroom with found materials and loose parts (such as pinecones, cardboard boxes and tubes, wire, buttons, twine, and gears) can be another imaginative and inexpensive way to encourage play that isn't limited by traditional understandings of gender. Creating a gender-neutral makerspace with natural materials, for example, can inspire children to create sculptures, make books, piece together collages, or construct whatever they imagine. They may also create props of their own liking with these materials to enhance storylines they have created. These new materials and spaces can be presented as formal activities or as enticing provocations. When children see new opportunities for play and exploration that do not carry signals about gender, they may feel more welcome to engage and to collaborate with children they might not otherwise play with, breaking down gender barriers.

Selecting books and images

Thoughtfully choosing children's books is another way to contradict stereotypical gender roles. By incorporating and discussing books that depict characters whose gender identities and expressions are multifaceted, fluid and/or ambiguous, teachers can help children expand their understanding of what it means to be male, female, neither, or both. Sharing books that model positive reactions to gender exploration and nontraditional play in the classroom sends a message to the community of learners and advances the anti-bias principle of transformation for all (Gunn 2003; Sullivan 2016).

Supporting Explorations of Gender with Children's Books

These books help children develop an expansive, inclusive understanding of gender for ages preschool to third grade.

In addition to literature, images depicting diverse gender expressions and roles people take around the world can be a valuable classroom resource. Teachers can display photographs or illustrations that show clothing, occupations, and lifestyles around the globe that contrast with Western societies' traditional gender roles and expressions. For example, a teacher might display pictures of men and women in flowing fabrics or skirts (such as kilts or various types of sarongs, which are common in many parts of the world) to support male children who might enjoy trying on all of the different types of clothing in the dramatic play center. Photos showing the ways gender roles and expressions differ around the world contribute to children's understanding that gender is a social construct rather than a fixed and universal set of ideas, values, or behaviors.

Communicating with care

Young children do not have a negative view of others' diverse gender play unless someone communicates to them that it is inappropriate. Teachers' actions and words help shape the classroom culture and tell children how teachers feel about gender and gender exploration (Cahill & Theilheimer 1999). If children are given the autonomy to define-and redefine-their identities as they grow, rather than taking up our society's traditional gender expectations, biases may be reduced. If children do not condemn each other but see teachers allowing diverse gender expressions, biases may be reduced (Kroeger, forthcoming).

Acting and speaking inclusively

Teachers' actions and words help shape the classroom culture and tell children how teachers feel about gender barriers and gender exploration (Cahill & Theilheimer 1999). Inclusive practices and language help children who are engaging in nontraditional expressions of gender feel safe and welcome, and they also help their peers be accepting.

Exploring gender in the early years helps children form and reform their gender identities, discovering their interests and the many ways they can express themselves.

To remove gender bias from classroom practices and routines, teachers should examine their expectations for children and make sure all children are supported in using the most challenging materials. All children can excel in subjects such as math, science, engineering, reading, writing, and the arts. Predisposing particular children to play with materials that enhance knowledge and skills in certain subject areas-for example, guiding boys (but not girls) to play with construction materials that include gears and motors-perpetuates gender bias. By mindfully redistributing play materials and encouraging all children to pursue activities of different types, teachers can reinforce opportunities to play in gender-neutral, inclusive ways.

Similarly, teachers should beware of stereotyping classroom responsibilities. Ensure that all children participate in classroom routines (such as cleaning, carrying supplies, cooking, preparing snacks, and taking care of one another and materials), in outdoor and nature play (including climbing and other adventuresome activities), and in movement and music.

Carefully reflecting on the language used with children is also essential for reducing gender bias and ensuring that teachers are not inadvertently communicating unbalanced or restrictive expectations. Research has shown that girls tend to receive more comments related to their appearance and kind touch than any other communicative feedback, while boys are frequently acknowledged for showing strength or lack of emotion (Chick, Heilman-Houser, & Hunter 2002). Similarly, addressing boys as "little dude" or girls as "honey" perpetuates the view that young boys should be tough and young girls should be sweet. To avoid reinforcing these biases, teachers may want to spend a few minutes at the end of each day recalling and reflecting on how they spoke with different children in their classrooms. With time and effort, teachers can change their ways of speaking with children. One simple first step is to refer to children by their preferred names instead of other terms like "sweetie." When addressing an entire group of children, use neutral terms, such as "everyone," "children," "preschoolers," or "Room 9" instead of "boys and girls."

While singular instances of stereotype-reinforcing communications from adults might not impact a child, frequent use of biased language may compound over time to shape the ways in which children view themselves, others, and society's expectations about gender. A young girl who receives comments on her neatly braided hair every morning may come to think that she has a responsibility to make sure her hair is well groomed and visually appealing. This may cause her to internalize the belief that her physical appearance is the only aspect of her identity that matters to others. A boy repeatedly praised for his tough demeanor may not allow himself to express a range of emotions, resulting in his being perceived as lacking compassion or empathy for others or for himself (Rao & Seaton 2009). A child like Tate, who may or may not identify as a boy or girl and whose interests are often frowned on, may come to believe that a person has to fit neatly into a category in order to be valued.

Like all anti-bias efforts, changing how one feels, thinks, and talks about gender takes time. With reflection and practice, early childhood educators can remove gendered assumptions and messages from their language, making their classrooms more welcoming-and truly enabling children to explore their interests.

Fostering partnerships with families

Creating safe and inclusive spaces for children exploring gender may also impact the children's families. Teachers can encourage parents to be accepting of children's playful gender exploration (Kroeger & Regula 2017), and administrators can ensure educational settings are welcoming for children who do not identify with their gender assigned at birth (Kroeger, forthcoming; Mosso-Taylor 2016). When families feel that their children are respected and accepted, they are more likely to become active members of the classroom community (DeVries & Zan 2012).

If family members struggle to understand a child's nontraditional gender play or expression, a teacher's knowledge of basic concepts related to gender (and sexuality) may prove a valuable resource for supporting the family. With a teacher's understanding and with access to appropriate current resources (such as those provided by GLSEN and Gender Justice in Early Childhood), families can be coached on strategies to help make the home a safe haven for their children (Gender Spectrum 2018). By sharing resources with families, teachers can extend anti-bias practice beyond the classroom walls to encourage healthy development in all parts of a child's life.

Here are some additional tips for engaging with families:

Take your time building engagement among families on the topic of gender. Recognize that communities and families will differ in their readiness for rethinking gender; be conscious of pushing too fast.

Recognize cultural influences on gender (such as a family's religious beliefs), and try to find common ground with a wide variety of community members.

Draw on what children notice and ask about regarding gender in the classroom to inform conversations with families, including conversations about the various roles associated with gender in their homes or communities.

Be willing to answer or discuss family members' questions about gender openly and honestly. Model lifelong learning for families by sharing how you are exploring and deepening your own understanding of gender. If possible, arrange a workshop with local experts to support families with a desire to learn more about gender.

Consider the safety of children and families who confide in you and take care not to betray their trust, whether or not you agree with the ideas they have expressed.

Learn about local issues and politics; reflecting on communities from multiple perspectives may influence your strategies for making change.

As early childhood educators learn about current thinking on gender, work to eliminate gender bias, and reflect on their classroom materials and practices, they can embrace the development of gender-inclusive communities. We believe that working to create safe spaces for gender exploration is essential to advancing anti-bias education.

By encouraging children to play freely, without regard to traditional gender limitations or biases, teachers can provide children who express gender in nontraditional ways with many opportunities to learn about gender fluidity, express themselves in different ways, and understand their developing sense of identity. With sensitive support from teachers, those children's peers will learn that they too can play as they wish, and that they can accept their classmates no matter what toys or roles they find interesting.

Within the field of early education, much of the previously accepted wisdom about gender has guided teachers to stay within boundaries that are historically stereotypical and unwelcoming to many young children. With anti-bias principles in mind, teachers can reflect on gender and rethink their actions. Recognizing their own and other's gender biases and beliefs allows educators to consciously counteract inequity in their practices, classroom materials, and language.

It's time to let Tate wear the pink coat.

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Tate and the Pink Coat: Exploring Gender and Enacting Anti-Bias Principles

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Gender-inclusive classrooms promote an anti-bias atmosphere in which all children can explore and grow.

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This book list outlines a list of books that explore gender and breaking gender stereotypes as well as embracing oneself.

Kids’ books that challenge gender stereotypes - today’s parent. (n.d.). https://www.todaysparent.com/family/books/kids-books-that-challenge-gender-stereotypes/

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Kids' books that challenge gender stereotypes - Today's Parent

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Need a good way to start the conversation about gender with your kids? These books show that it's perfectly fine to be yourself despite gender stereotypes.

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This family community resource guide is a great tool for families to have access to. It includes resources from prek enrollments, crisis help, basic needs assistance to transportation help, family education support, and wellness.

Community resource directory 2023. (n.d.-a). https://www.jointinitiatives.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Community-Resource-Directory-2023-18.pdf

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The local library (in our case in Colorado Springs a network of multiple) is a invaluable resource where families can access more than books; like media, classes, maker spaces, and technology.

About PPLD. About PPLD | Pikes Peak Library District. (n.d.). https://ppld.org/about-ppld

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About Us

From a small reading room established 136 years ago, Pikes Peak Library District (PPLD) has evolved to meet the ever-changing needs of our sprawling and growing community.

Thanks to taxpayer funding, we reinvest in the community by providing residents with access to 16 facilities, three mobile library services, and a large online hub of resources and services that are inclusive and welcoming to all. We strive to make our physical and digital spaces safe and respectful for diverse voices, perspectives, and pursuits; to foster community dialogue and connections; and to help people achieve their goals and dreams in life.

As a national leader and the second largest library system in Colorado, our Library District serves a population of about 700,000 residents across 2,070 square miles of El Paso County. Thanks to an employee base of more than 400 staff and nearly 350 volunteers, PPLD continues to be recognized for its innovative and community-focused services and programs, its commitment to community collaboration, and excellent customer service.

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VISION

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Cultivate spaces for belonging, personal growth, and strong communities.

VALUES

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Community: We bring people together.

History & Background

The history of public libraries in the region began in October 1885 when the Colorado Springs Social Union established a library on the corner of Tejon and Cucharras Streets in downtown Colorado Springs. In 1905, a new library opened at 21 West Kiowa Street with funds donated by Andrew Carnegie and land granted by General William Jackson Palmer. In 1962, a majority of El Paso County citizens voted to establish a special taxing district and PPLD was formed. The town of Manitou Springs voted to join PPLD effective January 2013. Our Library District currently serves most of El Paso County, except Widefield School District 3. Learn more about the history of PPLD.

PPLD's Board of Trustees consists of seven members from the community who govern the budget and set Library policy. The citizen volunteers are appointed jointly by the Colorado Springs City Council and El Paso County Commissioners for a maximum of two five-year terms.
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About Us From a small reading room established 136 years ago, Pikes Peak Library District (PPLD) has evolved to meet the ever-changing needs of our sprawling and growing community.