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Hello Stephen! A strength that came from your piece was all the research that you put into making the slide. You looked at so many sources to find what you need and that help make your piece even better. To conclude another that was great about your piece would be the way you organized and explained your evidence that you gained while researching and turning it into a great bundle of facts.Your piece is really great but there is one thing that can be improved on. That would be the background. You could maybe change the background on your history slide as it’s impossible for me to read while the pictures change and go back and forth.

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Hi, Stephen! A strength of your work “Crocs: The cool new shoes” is that you were able to use a non repetitive word choice. In addition, i really liked your use of figurative language. But however, something you could change is the text color not blending in with the wallpaper which is a huge inconvenience. The hook doesn’t really hook me in because there’s no catchy start like “are you ___?” Or anything that meets that criteria. It might be beneficial to also make your title less “bland” as it doesn’t really stand out as well.

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Hello Stephey! A strength of your informative essay is that your explanations were simple and clear. They weren’t long paragraphs and instead used bullet points which were good. Another star is that most of your slides looked very good and clean. A wish I have is that on the slide that changes from angel croc to devil croc, you could’ve made it switch only once since it was hard to read.

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In your timed paragraph, a star I have is that your claim was very good. It had a good transition and your life lesson was good too. Another star I have is that your explanation is amazing and really helped me understand the claim. Also, what is kismet?

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Hello Stephan… one star for your piece “Panicked piper????” Was your claim, it is a powerful statement that truly fits in with the storyline of piper🐦=💀.  Another star of your essay was your first explanation you put in lots and lots of detail such as when you said “Such as learning that not everything will be easy but the bird believed and Piper accomplished. And even though things may be hard for the bird and they couldn’t get progress, the bird kept trying.Even when problems occur, people need to push through and persevere to succeed.” This is a powerful statement that is easy to under stand. One wish I have is that I see many word choice and grammatical errors so fixing those will help your piece be the best it can.

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Hey Stephen! What i liked about your paragraph was how you used good spelling (for the most part) and most of your paragraph transitions. Although, Replace the amount of “piper” with other words like “the bird” as it becomes more repetitive by using the same word multiple times.

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A strength of your Pixar short paragraph is that your explanations were very well done. They gave good examples and helped me understand the topic a lot better and made perfect sense. Another star I have for you is that your lesson that you came up with is very good. It happens a lot in real life. A wish I have is that you should’ve put the title of the short in the sum up.

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Hello, Stephen! I noticed how strong your essay “No Sleep, No Future” was pretty strong in terms of not having repetitive transitions, you also used proper punctuation and grammar! And you even had a very descriptive anecdote! Overall, your essay is very perfect in terms of my checklist.

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A strength of your story, The Library Book Mystery, I liked your characters. You used STEAL really well to develop the characters like Blake and his mom. You also really developed Blake’s sister within the short time she was shown. Another strength of your story is the dialogue. The dialogue is funny and so is the story. A wish I have is that there’s not a lot of paragraphs where they were needed

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A strength of your story, The Library Book Mystery, I liked your characters. You used STEAL really well to develop the characters like Blake and his mom. You also really developed Blake’s sister within the short time she was shown. Another strength of your story is the dialogue. The dialogue is funny and so is the story. A wish I have is that there’s not a lot of paragraphs where they were needed

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Also why is Elon musk in the story?

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Hey Steven! A strength of your narrative, “The Library Book Mystery”, is how you wrote that Blake fell into the book and was solving riddles while trying to get out. I was really interested in what was happening, and how Blake’s mom handed the book back to the library, while Blake was stuck inside the book and Blake’s mom had no idea. In addition, I like how you added how Blake’s mom was outraged when she saw that Blake had stolen the library book and how you used various speaker tags like thunderous roar and screamed with all her might, it really helped me understand what Blake’s mom was feeling at the moment. However, one suggestion I can give for improvement on your narrative was to be careful with the little punctuation and grammar errors. You had some parts in your story that were kind of hard to understand, because you maybe forgot to add a word or check the punctuation. Overall, I’d say this piece was great!

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I like how your memoir sort of started with the lesson and then referred back to it by saying, “I would have to push through and believe in myself.” As you said in the first paragraph. This gave me something to relate to and it was unique and different to the other memoirs in a good way. In addition, I loved your transitions into thoughts like when you said, “My brain wandered off into thoughts,” I had this warm and relatable feeling like I do this all the time. It was a nice warm way of transitioning into a different type of context.  One wish I have is that you can describe the setting a bit more.  I am left wondering the details within this major part of your Memoir. But, other than that, your piece was outstanding, and I enjoyed reading it.