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Bernard Hare was in his student flat when the police knocked on his door. Worried about his ill mother, he went to a phone box to call his father, who confirmed that he needed to come home immediately. At the station, Bernard missed the last train to Leeds, so he took one to Peterborough, intending to hitchhike from there. On the train, a ticket inspector noticed that Bernard was very upset and offered help. Although Bernard was initially rude, he eventually shared his situation, and the inspector wished him luck in getting home.

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Summarize

When Bernard Hare was a student, the police knocked on his door one night. He initially thought it was due to unpaid rent, but then worried it might concern his mother, who was ill. With no phone at home, he ran to a phone box and called his father, who told him that his mother was very sick in the hospital. Desperate to get home, Bernard went to the train station but had missed the last direct train to Leeds. He managed to catch a train to Peterborough, hoping to hitchhike the rest of the way. Onboard, the ticket inspector noticed that Bernard looked upset and asked if he was okay. Bernard rudely dismissed him but eventually shared his story. The inspector expressed sympathy, and after a few minutes, he returned—indicating he might be willing to help Bernard on his journey.

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Bernard Hare, while studying in North London, got a late-night visit from the police. At first, he thought it was about his unpaid rent, but then he realized it might be about his sick mother. Without a phone in his flat and before the days of mobile phones, he had to use a phone box to call his father, who informed him that his mother was critically ill in the hospital. Bernard decided to head to Leeds immediately, but when he arrived at the station, he found he had missed the last train. He took a train to Peterborough, hoping he could hitchhike from Peterborough to Leeds. On the train, the ticket inspector noticed Bernard was upset and offered to help. Although Bernard was initially rude, he ended up sharing his story, and the inspector showed empathy and wished him luck.

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Bernard Hare, when he was a student whos living in North London receives a visit from the police at their flat. Fearing it might be about unpaid rent, he avoids opening the door but then worries it could be related to their ill mother. Without a phone in the flat, they rush to a phone box and call their father in Leeds, who confirms that the mother is very sick in the hospital and advises the student to come home immediately.

At the train station, the student misses the last direct train to Leeds but decides to take a train to Peterborough, hoping to hitchhike from there. Onboard, a ticket inspector notices the student’s distress and, despite a rude initial response, sits down to offer help. The student shares their story, and the inspector, moved by it, leaves momentarily but then returns, possibly planning to help in some unexpected way.

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One night the police knocked his door. The man realized her mother had died and decided to travel to Leeds, he was going crying all the travel, telling what happened to the ticker inspector, he tried to support him and he wished him hope in his way home.

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Bernard was living in a student flat when one night the police knocked on the door, he didn't open as he thought they were coming because he hadn't paid the rent but in fact it was because his mum was ill, He ran to a phone box to call his father who confirmed this news, so he decided to go home as soon as he could, however when he arrived at the train station the last train to his destination had left, so he took a train to a nearby town called Peterborough from where he decided to hitchhike. The Ticket inspector passed by his seat and noting that he was not feeling well offered his help so Bernard decided to tell him his story, the inspector listened carefully and finally left with a few words of support.

Aspects to improve:

Capitalization: “Ticket inspector” should not be capitalized unless it’s part of a title or heading.

Consistent Tone: Small adjustments can help maintain a formal and consistent tone.

Well done

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When the police knocked on the door of the flat where Bernard Hare was living in North London. He was upset because he thought it was about the rent or something to do with his ill mother. Without a phone in the flat, he ran to a phone box to call his dad in Leeds. His father told him that his mother was very ill in the hospital and he should go home. When he arrived to the station, he had missed the last train to Leeds. So, he decided to take the train to Peterborough and maybe hitchhike from Peterboroughto Leeds. On the train, the ticket inspector saw he was upset and asked if he was OK. He told him his story, and although he was rude at first, he was kind and offered to help him. Ten minutes later, he came back to check on him.

Improve this point

Correct small issues, like “arrived to the station” (should be “arrived at the station”) and “Peterboroughto” (should be “Peterborough to”).

well done

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First, the police knocked on the door of Bernard, then he wondered how's his mother in Leeds. He immediately went to look for the nearest phone box. His father answers the call and says his mother is very ill and he have to go back as soon as possible. He got the station but he missed the last train but he thought he could take a train to Peterborough and then try to hitchhike from there. The ticket inspector appeared asking for tickets but Bernard was so upset and told the ticket inspector why he is not okay.

Improve grammar and verb consistency Adjust verb tenses for consistency. For example, “he have to go back” should be “he has to go back.”

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Bernard was living in north london when the police knocked on his door and he had to travel to leeds because his mother was very ill however he had missed the last train, so he thought  to hitchhike from peterborough, when he met  the ticket inspector, he was a bit upset, but then he could continue

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Bernard Hare was a student when he had terrible experience. He was very worried for his mom. One night, the police knocked on his door. At first, he thought it was about his rent, but then he worried and remember that his ill mother. He ran to a phone box and called his dad, who told him his mother was in the hospital. Bernard decided to go home as soon as possible but missed the last train to Leeds. He took a train to Peterborough and planned to hitchhike from there. On the train, a ticket inspector noticed he was upset and asked if he was okay. Bernard told him the story, but he wasn't to help to him.

Correct minor errors, such as “remember that his ill mother” (should be “remembered his ill mother”) and “wasn’t to help to him” (should be “wasn’t able to help him”).

well done

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Well, when Bernard Hare was a student, the police knocked to his door to tell him that his mother was ill. He ran down to a phone box and called his dad, who told him that she was in the hospital. Bernard missed the last train to Leeds and decided he might have to hitchhike from Peterborough. On the train, the ticket inspector noticed he looked upset and asked if he was okay and he was just looking out the window.

Minor corrections, such as “knocked to his door” (should be “knocked on his door”) and “he was just looking out the window,” would improve clarity.

good work

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Bernard Hare describes an experience when he lived in North London.

One night the police were at his door and he thought it was because he didn't pay the rent or some news from his mother but he didn't open it and ran to the nearest phone booth to call his father. He received bad news and had to go home quickly. Unfortunately he arrived when the last train had already left. He decided to take another train because he was desperate and thought about hitchhiking.

The ticket inspector noticed that he was crying and asked if he could help him. He responded rudely but continued the conversation. She told him her story and he was upset and didn't want to talk anymore. He wished him good luck and left.

The trip continued and the ticket inspector returned

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Bernard was life in a flat. A police knocked on the door of his flat and told him he had a call in the phone box, he received some upset news, his father told him that his mom was ill, he had to go home soon but he missed the last train to Peterborough,he suddenly thought he could hitchhike from Peterborough, when he got on the train he was about to cry suddenly the ticket inspector tried to help him by listening to what happened to him.

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A student is living in London when the police give him the news that his mother is seriously ill and hospitalised in Leeds. Attempting to return, he realises he has missed the last train direct and opts to take a train to Peterborough, hoping to get there somehow. Overwhelmed by the situation, he feels desperate and upset.

During the journey, a ticket inspector approaches and notices that the young man has been crying, offering to help. The frustrated and emotionally drained student responds curtly and tells him of his plight, hoping that he will leave him alone. However, the conductor shows understanding and compassion, wishing him well before walking away. Shortly afterwards, the conductor returns, probably to offer more support.

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The story is about a guy who was living alone in London. One day the police visited him but he didn't answer the door because he thought it was about the rent of his flat, then he get worried about his mom and found out that she was very ill so he needed to visit her as soon as possible, but he missed the train so he had to go to another city, hoping to hitchhike the rest of the way. During the trip an inspector aproached him and they talk about the situation.

Adjust verb tenses to keep the story in the past tense. For example, “get worried” should be “got worried.”

well done