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Working on Strategies for FD

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Vision - Building community across generations with Loving Hearts, Open Minds and Helping Hands

Mission - We create welcoming space for adults, families, children, and youth to nurture curiosity, explore spirituality and discover their place in the world

We strive to build loving community by working, learning, growing, and celebrating together

We work collectively to make the world a better place

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These are spaces at the front of the sanctuary for little ones to play during worship. Before the pandemic hit we did create some space at the front (where the harpsichord used to be) but we never got to use it.

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At Grace, as Jesus did, we welcome children of all ages as integral members of the body of Christ, and we welcome the sounds and activity that accompany them! There are a number of spaces and activities designed for children to experience and participate in worship according to their needs; we trust families to work out the best option(s) for them and their child(ren) on any given day. One of these options is the Pray-ground, located in the front-left section of the sanctuary. This area is designed for young children to quietly engage in age-appropriate activities while experiencing worship in the sanctuary along with their families.

Ever since we posted a Facebook album celebrating the 1-year anniversary of the dedication of our Pray-Ground at Grace, we have been inundated with questions about how it came to be, from both clergy and lay people hoping to do something similar in their faith communities. Hopefully this page will help to answer some of them! If not, please feel free to contact me. You're also most welcome to stop by anytime (though good to make an appointment first if you want to talk with someone in particular), or to visit us for worship!

Blessings to you on this adventure!
Pastor Andrea

Simply click on each box to open or close a question and answer

What is the Prayground?

The Pray-Ground is an area in one of the front corners of our sanctuary specifically set aside for young children during worship. It consists of two rugs, two small tables with child-sized chairs and stools, coloring sheets, crayons, blocks, books, and soft toys.

There are also bouncy seats (for smaller infants), Bumbo chairs (for babies who can hold their heads up but can't yet sit up on their own), and baby gyms available, though we find that these are used much less frequently than the things designed for toddlers and preschoolers.

Isn't it noisy?

Not really, and certainly not any noisier than it would be if those same kids were sitting in the pews! We took great care in selecting play items that would keep the noise to a minimum: the blocks are made of foam, the books are all made of fabric (and we made sure they didn't have any of the squeakers or crinkle-paper that is so popular now in fabric books!), the toys are all plush (we have play food and a play farm, for example, all from Ikea), and even the baskets where we keep the crayons are made of fabric.

The only items that could really be used to make noise would be if a child were to bang a crayon over and over on the plastic tables, but if/when this happens, a parent generally steps in quickly. Same for dumping the entire basket of crayons out, which happens occasionally. We get over it!

Surprisingly, we've found that the noise level has actually gone down since we've settled into the Pray-Ground. The first few weeks were a little louder, but now the "regulars" know what's expected of them, and they are rarely disruptive. On occasions when there are a lot of visiting children (Christmas Eve, for example, or Easter morning, or when we have several baptisms with lots of visiting family), things do tend to be a little louder, but if it means that children who aren't generally in church are in church, we give thanks and move on!

Who is the Pray-Ground intended for? And what other options do parents have for their kids during worship, especially if they don't want to sit in the front?

Generally-speaking, the Pray-Ground is intended for infants and toddlers, or for kids 3 and under, who are not yet old enough to attend Grace Bible School. Kids who do attend Grace Bible School sit in worship with their parents until the children's sermon (15-20 minutes into the service), and then go to Grace Bible School after that.

For kids who are too young to attend Grace Bible School, there are four options: the Pray-Ground, where they stay for the entire service with their parents or other family members sitting directly behind them; our Koinonia Gallery, which is located behind a glass wall at the back of the sanctuary, and where the service is piped in through speakers (many churches call this a "cry room," and ours is also equipped with many of the same play elements as the Pray-Ground); the nursery, which is staffed during every worship service for children 3 and under; and, of course, parents always have the option to simply sit with their children in the pews. We have Busy Bags, as well, for kids who need a few extras to help hold their attention in the pews.

Why on earth did you put it in the front?

Because kids pay more attention when they can see what's going on, and they're short! Lots of churches have similar areas for kids in the back, or in the middle, or off to the side. We recognize that kids will play and color for much of the time, but they also pay attention to what's happening in worship. Occasionally, when I'm presiding over the Eucharist, I'll catch a kid out of the corner of my eye imitating my movements. Sometimes they play air-handbells or pretend to direct the choir. Some parents have overheard their young children singing the liturgy at home. When they can see what's going on, they absorb things in a different way.

In addition, we think the location actually helps us to keep the noise down, though it sounds counter-intuitive. The kids know how visible they are, so they behave better than they might if they thought no one could see them.

How did you get the congregation on board with this ridiculous idea? Did you do any education about it before-hand?

Most of our members were really skeptical at first, across age groups and regardless of whether they had kids! But our pastoral staff was clearly in favor of it (that united front certainly didn't hurt), and we talked about the potential benefits with lots of different groups for several months before-hand.

We debuted the Pray-Ground in worship on Mother's Day of 2015, and much of the service was centered around children in worship. That's the day the yellow cards about Children at Grace went in the pew racks for the first time. I preached about my experiences of parenting in the pews, and former Pastor John Matthews dedicated the Pray-Ground. He recognized that it would take some getting used to. He pointed out that all the toys were soft and quiet. And we also recognized that everything about it was moveable, which I think helped our members to understand that if it turned out to be a complete disaster, it wouldn't take much to remove it.

Aren't the kids distracting to the preacher?

Not any more than they are when they're in the pews! In my mind, any preacher worth their salt can handle a baby crying or a toddler screeching here and there. Just like in most churches, our parents take their kids out when they get really disruptive, but we trust them to make those decisions, and would never ask them to do so.

It may help that, in our sanctuary, this space is right up front but it's also somewhat off to the side. Even if we moved it front-and-center, though, I think it would be just fine. My pastoral colleague at the time, Pastor John Matthews, has ADHD, and even with that he manages just fine!

But how can you expect the congregation to pay attention to the sermon when there are kids playing up front?

Gosh, I don't know, but somehow they manage. It's probably due to the fact that we have excellent preachers! There are actually quite a number of places in the sanctuary where you can sit and not see the Pray-Ground at all. Some people changed where they *usually* sit because they thought they'd be distracted by the kids. Others changed where they sit in order to see them better! Some people even comment, at the rare service where there are no kids at all using that space, how sad it seems. In general, though, people seem to have no trouble with this, and many people have commented on how surprised they are about that, given how skeptical they were at the beginning

Where did you get the tables and chairs? The rugs? The toys and baby seats?

The rugs, the tables, the chairs, and a lot of the plush toys are from Ikea. Most of the rest of the items (foam blocks and puzzles, cloth books, baby bouncers and gyms, Bumbo chairs) we bought from Craigslist or were donated by members

How do you keep it all clean?

It's actually pretty easy - almost everything can either go in the washing machine (the foam blocks, even if you put them in a sweater bag) or can be sprayed and wiped down.

Why bother with the rugs when your sanctuary is carpeted already?

Because it makes it so much easier for the kids to understand their boundaries!

How do you keep the kids from wandering up to the chancel area?

Very carefully! This part did take a bit of work, and still does, occasionally. During those first few weeks, both during children's sermons and at other points in the service, we pointed out (into the microphone, so everyone was on the same page) that there are candles at the top of the steps, and that each child needed to set a good example for the other kids (and that if they came up one step, their friend might think it was okay to go up the second step, etc.). Now, the kids remind one another, and parents help each other out, too, especially when there's a new family sitting there.

I love the language you used on the Children at Grace pew cards. Can I use it or adapt it for my own faith community?

Can I use the photos from your Facebook post to show to the leadership of my congregation?

Yes, please do! Again, that post can be found here. You can also browse our full library of photos here.

How much did it cost? Where did you get the financial support?

It came in somewhere between $1500 and $2000, which also includes the cost of the items in our Koinonia Gallery (1 table with chairs, more blocks and books, etc.). Our Memorial Committee - made up almost entirely of older members - voted unanimously to fund this project with memorials designated for youth and children's ministry!

Do you keep the Pray-Ground up for all your services? Or do you offer a service without it?

It's up for all of our worship services, because we really see it as part of our sanctuary. We do take it down for weddings, however, unless the couple wants us to leave it up.

Surely you lost some members over this decision, right?

How did you come up with the name?

We didn't! I crowd-sourced with my colleagues in The Young Clergy Women Project, and the name was suggested by the Rev. Catherine Renken, pastor of Kirkwood Presbyterian Church in Kennesaw, GA. It got the most votes by far.

How big is your congregation? How many people are in worship each week?

We have approximately 1800 members, and 600 people in worship each week across 3 weekly services.

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The Pray-Ground · Grace Lutheran Church of Apple Valley

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At Grace, as Jesus did, we welcome children of all ages as integral members of the body of Christ, and we welcome the sounds and activity that accompany them! There are a number of spaces and activities designed for children to experience and participate in worship according to their needs; we trust families to work out the best option(s) for them and...

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A paid teacher model, similar to Spaces using thematic ministry

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At Boulder Valley Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, we reflect on a theme each month, such as compassion, unity, or justice, in unique ways. For our second year of SpiritJam, we will be using the monthly themes from the Soul Matters Sharing Circle to inform our congregational life.
The Jams are explorations for mind, body and/or spirit. There are two or three Jams offered each morning, plus a CircleJam, which is the opening. Jams are developed and led by SpiritJam Lead Teachers. Here are some of the Jams:

NatureJam - using the Nature Playground, we connect to the earth, to creatures, to the interdependent web of which we are a part. Activities might be planting in the Flower or Vegetable Gardens, an Animal Blessing ceremony, building elf houses, a meditative hike to Coal Creek or Waneka, a visit by an animal.

ParachuteJam - exploring "Unity" by working together to create a "mushroom" or keeping a ball in the center.

BodyJam - Improv, yoga, martial arts, and sitting or walking meditation as related to the theme of the month. Activities might be Pakua, Mindfulness Meditation, dance, or even stilt walking.

Tinkerjam - engineering, sculpting, building, and exploring. Activities might be Recycled Junk Sculpture, Abstract Foam Core shapes, Marshmallow and Toothpick bridges, dissecting a video player.

Storyjam - heartmelting stories on the theme. Activities might be a guest Storyteller, role-playing a story, a Book Chat.

Musicjam - using sound and harmonies to explore the theme. Activities such as instrument building, a kazoo orchestra, chanting and singing.

Servicejam - walking our talk through service to others, both "in-house" and "out-house." Activities such as creating mini-care packages to hand to the homeless, grocery store bags for Community Food Share, or painting a room.

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At Boulder Valley Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, we reflect on a theme each month, such as compassion, unity, or justice, in unique ways. For our second year of SpiritJam, we will be using the monthly themes from the Soul Matters Sharing Circle to inform our congregational life.

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SoulMatters - a theme based approach to ministry

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SoulMatters - a theme based approach to ministry

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Soul Matters work best when used as a whole church so that Worship, Music and FD is integrated.

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"Every month Soul Matters gives us what we need to help make the soul of our church and the souls of our folks in the pews come alive and thrive! It's all here- resources for R.E, worship and small groups, music & visual art suggestions--all topped off with loads of support!"
- Rev. Catherine Cullen, Minister, First Parish Church, Duxbury, Massachusetts

"Soul Matters has profoundly shifted the way I approach worship and ministry. The more we use it, the more we love it."
- Rev. Sara LaWall, Minister, Boise Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, Idaho

"I can't say enough good things about Soul Matters. Now, in our third year of using SM, we are going all in in RE land. We'll be using Crossing Paths with our Middies. Our High School youth report that their deepest discussions come out of the themes. Our early childhood staffer loves working with the preschool materials and I have had great success putting chapels together. I have found the resources to be wonderful and better every year."
- Barb Friedland, DLRE, Thomas Jefferson Unitarian Church/Louisville, Kentucky

"The Soul Matters experience has not just given me a way to practice my spirituality. It has provided me with a deeper understanding of what it means to practice..."
- Bay Waltman, Small Group Facilitator, UU Church at Washington Crossing, New Jersey

"I think this is the best thing our church does."
-Suzanne Clauser, Small Group Member, UU Church of Delaware County in Media, PA

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"Every month Soul Matters gives us what we need to help make the soul of our church and the souls of our folks in the pews come alive and thrive! It's all here- resources for R.E, worship and small groups, music & visual art suggestions--all topped off with loads of support!"

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Makerspace - a similar model to UU Spaces

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Makerspace - a similar model to UU Spaces

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Keeping the Magic Alive - my thoughts on Wiogora 2020

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Keeping the Magic Alive - my thoughts on Wiogora 2020

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I wrote this immediately after Wiogora finished this last summer.

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UU World article about immersive FD experiences

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UU World article about immersive FD experiences

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The rationale for dropping Sunday school was practical: the church's old model of weekly RE required an army of volunteers, and attendance was spotty-a high-attending child might make it to 50 percent of classes, but the average child made it only 25 percent of the time. Regular church attendance is especially a struggle on the Pacific coast, where religiosity is low. "With soccer games and birthday parties and overnights, the pressure is against attending church," notes Chalice Camp co-founder Laila Ibrahim, the church's former director of children and family ministries.

Parent Nicole Fitzhugh remembers feeling unsatisfied as a volunteer with the old, classroom-style RE program. "We were never getting a solid crew of kids coming through on Sundays, and when you see kids just once or twice a month, that's not a way to build community," says Fitzhugh, who is now the church's children and family ministries coordinator. "It wasn't super fulfilling for me as a teacher or a parent, and I could tell the kids weren't really stoked about it either."

Enter Chalice Camp. One day in 2003, Ibrahim was chatting over tea with the Rev. Sheri Prud'homme (now the Rev. Dr.), a fellow member of the church who later joined the staff. As children, Prud'homme and Ibrahim attended camp and remembered the magic of being immersed in an experience. They wondered if a UU summer camp might be more engaging to kids.

"Forty hours of Chalice Camp is almost the same amount of time that kids would get in a 55-minute class throughout the school year," notes Ibrahim. "So we decided: let's try this camp thing. It could inspire the connection and continuity that we think was missing from the Sunday program."

With a grant from the Fund for Unitarian Universalism and support from the Pacific Central District of the UUA, Prud'homme and Ibrahim co-created the curriculum for Chalice Camp, which has since been sold to more than fifty other UU congregations across the country.

A new approach to Sundays

Chalice Camp was into its seventh season when the church decided it was ready to let go of Sunday RE. While it was a bold move, church members responded enthusiastically.

"Families wanted more time together, and children wanted to have fun at church," Ibrahim says.

Now the church uses a hybrid approach to multigenerational programming on Sundays. Children and adults worship together for the entire hour once a month, including during holidays and other special events. On some Sundays, families spend the first twenty minutes together for the Time for All Ages, and then children depart before the sermon for the Spirit Art Room or Spirit Games Room. On other Sundays, the children gather for Children's Chapel, when they focus on an age-appropriate version of the same theme the adults are exploring that week.

Multigenerational programming eases the transition of youth to the "adult" side of the church. "We want the kids to understand how to sing a hymn and how to hear a sermon, so when they're in the sanctuary it has meaning," Ibrahim says.

After the church adopted its new RE model, parents noticed an immediate change in how their children responded to church. "Our kids were really getting the spiritual themes," Prud'homme says. "Their religious life came home more. It was part of family conversations. The music became part of what they were singing while doing their chores. Another thing that we noticed was that the kids really liked being at church. When they came to church they were seeing their friends and counselors from camp, and so when the church community gathered, the people who were part of Chalice Camp felt supported and loved."

It also made the staff's job easier. "We're able to run a high-quality religious education program with a very part-time professional leadership, and for many congregations, that's a real advantage," says Prud'homme, who is now the church's associate minister for faith development and an assistant professor at Starr King School for the Ministry. "My colleagues at other churches don't universally love their jobs. Most of them are trying to organize a massive volunteer program. This model allows us to have more ease, more joy."

And that joy extends to the kids, too. Church staff believe in the value of play, whether at camp or on Sundays. "I think our church is very understanding about children," says Evan Fitzhugh, 12, a counselor-in-training who likes to hang out with camp friends and play at the church's foosball table after Sunday services.

Intensive UU curriculum

About fifty people participate in Chalice Camp each year, including the elementary-aged campers, counselors, and counselors-in-training. While the campers are primarily from First Unitarian, the camp attracts a handful of kids from other Oakland-area UU congregations, and one flew in from All Souls Church in Washington, D.C., to attend this summer's session with a cousin.

"Chalice Camp is really engaging for me," says counselor-in-training Amber Deffner, 12, who attends the Mt. Diablo UU Church in Walnut Creek, California. "I have tons of friends here, and it's like home for me. My parents know that I need Chalice Camp every summer."

Every camp day includes group worship time. Camp director-in-training Maya Ibrahim-Bartley lights their colorful chalice, which bears sixteen layers of children's names accrued over the camp's history. Together, the campers recite: "We light this chalice, the symbol of Unitarian Universalism. May it remind us of the divine spark in all of creation. The power of love to heal what is broken. And to be grateful for life's blessings each day."

They sit for silent meditation, starting at two minutes and striving to reach ten by the end of the week. They lie down on the ground to listen to a guided meditation as a counselor drums a steady beat. They do a little UU call-and-response: "I say flaming, you say chalice! Flaming! Chalice! I say peace, you say justice! Peace! Justice! I say Unitarian, you say Universalist! Unitarian! Universalist! " A handful of older campers perform a skit about the history and meaning of Unitarian Universalism.

On the second day, campers are surprised when the staff, counselors, and counselors-in-training show up in superhero costumes. The day's theme is "It matters what we do with our lives," and the children trace around their bodies to create their own superhero figures and then discuss the everyday, ordinary superpowers they have to make the world a better place. At the end of each day, campers gather in small groups to fill out their Chalice Book, reflecting on questions such as "What is my purpose in life? Who and what is in charge? What does death mean?"

"Most camps are all about fun. This camp is also about deep conversations about who you are and what you believe," notes counselor-in-training Lily Salazar, 13.

Chalice Camp alternates between two themes: UU History and Theology, which was 2018's theme, and Identity and Justice. That means repeat campers get the same curriculum every other year, but the experience is different every time. "One of my criticisms of UUs is we really like new information, and we're not repetitive enough," Ibrahim says. "Truly, when the information starts to be meaningful is when they're in middle school and high school."

Chalice Camp organizers see that in their teenaged counselors and counselors-in-training, when themes from camp resurface as youth share their credo statements with the congregation. "When we heard a youth say, 'My favorite UU belief is that no one is beyond the bounds of God's love,' which is something we talk about at camp, that's when we knew it worked," Prud'homme says. "They found a theological underpinning that actually informs how they live their life as a high schooler."

The Identity and Justice camp focuses on racial justice. One year, as the congregation debated the wording of its Black Lives Matter banner, campers divided into caucus groups to discuss their thoughts on the issue. Several campers declared their most memorable camp experience to be "Blue Eye, Brown Eye," an exercise that divides campers into one group that receives special privileges and another that doesn't. The privileged group gets to eat cookies and play in the grass while the non-privileged group gets fruit and has to keep their heads down on the picnic tables. Campers sometimes organize their own protests in response to the unfair treatment.

Some families are less comfortable with the racial justice-themed camp, particularly parents of younger children. "But we said, we are going to talk about these issues, and we're going to talk about them in the most loving, curious, open-to-the-pain-of-it way," Ibrahim says. "And we may not have all the right answers, but we're going to be humble while still forging ahead."

Building community

The community-building is as important as the curriculum. As children arrive at camp, they dash over to hug friends of various ages, greeting fellow camp regulars along with new, nervous-looking kindergarteners whose camp T-shirts hang down to their knees.

"This is my favorite week of the year," says Sara Leyser, 18, who was finishing her thirteenth and final year at camp before heading off to college. "It feels like coming home."

The mingling across grades is one of the benefits of Chalice Camp: while the kids are organized by age into "circles" for some activities, there's still plenty of time to get to know one another through whole-group worship and play.

During free periods, the campers race around, playing banana tag, red rover, and other games. Some kids drift over to the art table to make lanyards or other projects. One girl leans against a tree to read her book, while a group of boys creates a fort by festooning a tree with colorful elastic bands.

"It's definitely one of the chiller camps I've been to," notes counselor Sophia Killebrew-Bruehl, 17.

One challenge is that only about half of the church's children and youth participate in camp. "There's something about that intensive experience that stays with you-it becomes part of you in a way that any intensive experience does-and not all of the kids get that experience," Prud'homme says.

The campers who do attend are deeply committed, however. Counselor-in-training India Miller-Morton, 14, hopes next summer's Chalice Camp won't conflict with her family's plans to take a one-month trip to Europe. If forced to choose, she says she'd rather attend Chalice Camp. "I love the people and the welcoming community here," she says. "It's the highlight of my summer."

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Breakthrough: Oakland church's summer camp 'better than Sunday school'

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The rationale for dropping Sunday school was practical: the church's old model of weekly RE required an army of volunteers, and attendance was spotty-a high-attending child might make it to 50 percent of classes, but the average child made it only 25 percent of the time.

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Faith Formation at First U 2019-20 A Superhero year

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Faith Formation at First U 2019-20 A Superhero year

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This is the introduction to how we planned to run FD at First U in 2019-20

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The Pre-Pandemic Vision for programming for 2020-21 for First U

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The Pre-Pandemic Vision for programming for 2020-21 for First U

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This is what we had originally envisioned for 2020-21

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Wiogora The Quest  FD Visioning 2020-21 Presentation

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A Choices model from Tennessee Valley UU Church

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A Choices model from Tennessee Valley UU Church

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This is a presentation I gave in 2017 as part of my RE Credentialing in which I explained the rationale behind the UUnified learning model I created when at UU Middleboro.

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One congregation's experiment with a different approach to FD

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One congregation's experiment with a different approach to FD

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My take on the Death of Sunday School article

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My take on the Death of Sunday School article

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Death of Sunday School Presentation copy

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These are the curriculums offered by the UUA for congregations

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The Tapestry of Faith curricula for children are modular, yet they are designed to follow a scope and sequence congregations may use for long-term...

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This was written by a former religious educator in 2017 and was controversial. Her message was that UU congregations should switch to all ages worship. She has since changed careers and is no longer involved in UU congregations.

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We have used Spirit Play for our younger age groups for many years. Our way of telling stories now in virtual worship is similar to a spirit play format

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Montessori Based Religious Education for the Young Welcome to Spirit Play™: Unitarian Universalist Religious Education Method & Ministry Learn about Unitarian Universalism's Spirit Play Start Learning Explore How To Get Started Are you just starting to explore using Spirit Play? Do you think you want to get more serious about implementing it in your church?