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The Key To Effective Time Management BK final

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Asserting Yourself While Maintaining Relationships

The word "negotiation" conjures up images of high-pressure situations, where people have a lot to lose if they get things wrong.

In fact, you probably negotiate several times each day. You do it at home and at work for all sorts of things, from deciding what to make for dinner, to settling on terms for a job promotion.

Because of this, you are a negotiator, even if you don't think of yourself as one! But how well do you negotiate? Do you know how to recognize situations where negotiating is appropriate? And do you understand the elements of an effective negotiation?

In this article, we'll discuss some of the fundamentals of negotiating successfully, so that you can meet your needs without causing conflict when you do have to say "no."

Negotiating Basics

Negotiation is simply the act of reaching an agreement as to how you'll move forward. It's the process of communicating back and forth, and finally having all parties agree to a solution.

There are many ways to arrive at this agreement. Some people view negotiation as a game they have to win. They use "hard" negotiation tactics, and this often leaves one party very satisfied and the other side with no choice but to agree. The problem with this approach is that the relationship between the two parties is often permanently damaged. The person asking for something may receive it, but the second person probably feels taken advantage of and, perhaps, angry and resentful. If it wasn't really a willing "yes," the second person is unlikely to complete the work quickly, or with a positive attitude.

The opposite approach is to accommodate. This is when one party yields his or her position and original goal, simply agreeing to what the other person wants. This "soft" tactic is often the result of wanting to keep relationships friendly. The end result, however, is that this person doesn't get what's needed, and he loses control to the other person.

Negotiations that aim for mutually satisfying outcomes are often best. These are sometimes called collaborative, integrative, or principled negotiations. The techniques used to conduct these help negotiators find a solution that shows high concern for the needs of both sides. The result is a win-win solution: rather than one side giving up a "position," the focus is on finding a new position where everyone is happy and is satisfied.

In the book "Getting to Yes," based on the work of the Harvard Negotiation Project, authors Roger Fisher and William Ury outline four parameters for principled negotiation:

1. Separate the people from the problem.

2. Focus on interests, not positions.

3. Generate a variety of possibilities before making a decision.

4. Define objective standards as the criteria for making the decision.

If you use these elements as the basis of your negotiation, you'll be more able to find creative solutions to the problems you're trying to solve.

Assertiveness and Negotiation

To use the principles of principled negotiation, you must be assertive. Forget the idea that negotiation means giving something up. Instead, this new process frees you to get what you need.

So, when your boss asks you to be on another committee, and you don't really have the time, you don't have to say "yes" or "no." Instead, approach the situation as an opportunity to negotiate.

Does the new committee offer career development opportunities that fit with your long-term objectives? If yes, perhaps you can give up another assignment in exchange, or maybe you can negotiate hiring an assistant so that you can reduce your workload. This might even be the time to renegotiate your job description and redefine your roles and responsibilities within the organization!

Whatever the situation, if you view negotiation as a collaboration, you say "yes" to the other person by respecting his or her needs - at the same time that you give yourself the opportunity to say "no" to the task itself.

When to Say "No" to the Task

Not all requests should be negotiated. Sometimes when your boss asks you to do something, you need to say "no."

Here are some key questions to ask before saying "no" to a task:

Do I have time to do it?

Am I the right person for the task?
Is someone else best suited to the job?

Does this request fit with my goals and objectives?

If your answer to any of these questions is "no," then you may be best off saying "no." (There's more on how to do this below!)

On the other hand, it's usually unprofessional to say "no" to a task just because you don't want to do it, you don't understand how to do it, it will take a long time, or it's messy and complex.

How to Say "Yes" to the Person but "No" to the Task

If your answer to the task request is "no," then figure out how to say "yes" to the person at the same time. To do this, make sure that you explain your justification, so that it's clear that you're only saying "no" to this particular task - and possibly only on this occasion. If the other person understands why you've said "no", they are less likely to be left with the impression that you're simply being unhelpful. However, you may also have to be firm about how you say "no."

As we've discussed, saying "yes to the person and no to the task" may also mean negotiating different arrangements to accommodate the request in a different way.

To say "yes" to the person, first answer three main questions:

What does this person really need?

Find areas of flexibility.

Determine priorities.

How else can this person's need be met?

Find a different frame of reference or approach to the problem.

Look for time and resource alternatives.

How can I support this person to have the need met?

Define the larger goal.

Look for common interests and needs.

High levels of trust and good communication are essential to this process. Although there's no guarantee that trust will lead to a good solution, mistrust will almost certainly harm collaboration. People who don't trust each other tend to be defensive, and this often leads people to look for "hidden agendas" or withhold information.

When people trust each other, they're more likely to communicate their needs accurately. When they share information about what they want, what they need, and why they need it, this can lead people to cooperate to look for a joint solution. And when you work in an environment of respect and trust, it's much easier to reach an agreement without compromising your needs in the process.

Examples

Saying "yes" to the person but "no" to the task generally involves a conversation, rather than just a one-sentence response. However, here are some examples of how you can do so in simple situations.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that analysis this week. Can I do it for you next Tuesday after month end is complete?"

"I'm sorry, I can't take on doing this analysis on a regular basis because Alex wants me to prioritize development work. But I know Jane is working on developing her Excel skills. Would you like me to show her how to extract the data so she can take this on?"

"I could do that analysis, but I wondered what information you actually want from it. If it's the conversion rate from the advertising campaign, would one of the measures in the report that Marketing sends round give you what you need?"

Key Points

We all negotiate, and we do so regularly. And even though the extents of our negotiations vary, one principle remains the same: when both parties win, the outcome is often better. Whether someone asks you for a favor, or you need to agree on terms for a contract or project, you must collaborate to achieve a win-win solution.

When you collaborate, you consider everyone's needs. Therefore, even if you have to say "no" to something, you're still concerned about finding a way to get the other person's needs met, and this allows you to say "yes" to the person. Integration and collaboration are keys to this process. So, the next time you have to negotiate, look for a way to meet everyone's needs, rather than leave one side with little or nothing.

Many thanks to Club member MichaelP who came up with the phrase "Say YES to the person and NO to the task" in this discussion in the Career Café forum.

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"Yes" to the Person, "No" to the TaskAsserting Yourself While Maintaining Relationships

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Asserting Yourself While Maintaining Relationships The word "negotiation" conjures up images of high-pressure situations, where people have a lot to lose if they get things wrong. In fact, you probably negotiate several times each day. You do it at home and at work for all sorts of things, from deciding what to make for dinner, to settling on terms for a job promotion.

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Imagine that your boss has asked you to prepare an important presentation for the next board meeting.

You only have a few days to put it together, your workload is already high, and you have many other urgent tasks on your To-Do List. Because of this, you're anxious, you can't concentrate, and everything seems to distract you.

Time stressors are some of the most pervasive sources of pressure in the workplace, and they happen as a result of having too much to do, in too little time. So, how can you beat this stress, and deliver the things that are essential to doing a good job?

Eisenhower's Urgent/Important Principle helps you think about your priorities, and determine which of your activities are important and which are, essentially, distractions.

What Are "Urgent" and "Important" Activities?

In a 1954 speech to the Second Assembly of the World Council of Churches, former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower, who was quoting Dr J. Roscoe Miller, president of Northwestern University, said: "I have two kinds of problems: the urgent and the important. The urgent are not important, and the important are never urgent." This "Eisenhower Principle" is said to be how he organized his workload and priorities.

He recognized that great time management means being effective as well as efficient. In other words, we must spend our time on things that are important and not just the ones that are urgent. To do this, and to minimize the stress of having too many tight deadlines, we need to understand this distinction:

Important activities have an outcome that leads to us achieving our goals, whether these are professional or personal.

Urgent activities demand immediate attention, and are usually associated with achieving someone else's goals. They are often the ones we concentrate on and they demand attention because the consequences of not dealing with them are immediate.

When we know which activities are important and which are urgent, we can overcome the natural tendency to focus on unimportant urgent activities, so that we can clear enough time to do what's essential for our success. This is the way we move from "firefighting" into a position where we can grow our businesses and our careers.

How to Use Eisenhower's Principle

To use this principle, list all of the activities and projects that you feel you have to do. Try to include everything that takes up your time at work, however unimportant. (If you manage your time using a To-Do List or Action Program, you will have done this already.)

Next, think about each activity and put it into one of four categories, as shown in figure 1, below:

Figure 1 - Eisenhower's Urgent/Important Principle

Then use the strategies described below to schedule your activities.

1. Important and Urgent

There are two distinct types of urgent and important activities: ones that you could not have foreseen, and others that you've left until the last minute.

You can eliminate last-minute activities by planning ahead and avoiding procrastination.

However, you can't always predict or avoid some issues and crises. Here, the best approach is to leave some time in your schedule to handle unexpected issues and unplanned important activities. (If a major crisis arises, then you'll need to reschedule other tasks.)

If you have a lot of urgent and important activities, identify which of these you could have foreseen, and think about how you could schedule similar activities ahead of time, so that they don't become urgent.

2. Important but Not Urgent

These are the activities that help you achieve your personal and professional goals, and complete important work.

Make sure that you have plenty of time to do these things properly, so that they do not become urgent. Also, remember to leave enough time in your schedule to deal with unforeseen problems. This will maximize your chances of keeping on track, and help you avoid the stress of work becoming more urgent than necessary.

3. Not Important but Urgent

Urgent but not important tasks are things that prevent you from achieving your goals. Ask yourself whether you can reschedule or delegate them.

A common source of such activities is other people. Sometimes it's appropriate to say "no" to people politely, or to encourage them to solve the problem themselves. (Our article "'Yes' to the Person, 'No' to the Task" will help here.)

Alternatively, try to have time slots when you are available, so that people know they can speak with you then. A good way to do this is to arrange regular meetings with those who interrupt you often, so that you can deal with all their issues at once. You'll then be able to concentrate on your important activities for longer.

4. Not Important and Not Urgent

These activities are just a distraction - avoid them if possible.

You can simply ignore or cancel many of them. However, some may be activities that other people want you to do, even though they don't contribute to your own desired outcomes. Again, say "no" politely, if you can, and explain why you cannot do it.

If people see that you are clear about your objectives and boundaries, they will often avoid asking you to do "not important" activities in the future.

Key Points

Eisenhower's Urgent/Important Principle helps you quickly identify the activities that you should focus on, as well as the ones you should ignore.

When you use this tool to prioritize your time, you can deal with truly urgent issues, at the same time as you work towards important, longer-term goals.

To use the tool, list all of your tasks and activities, and put each into one of the following categories:

Important and urgent.

Important but not urgent.

Not important but urgent.

Not important and not urgent.

Then schedule tasks and activities based on their importance and urgency.

Infographic

Click on the image below to see our infographic on Eisenhower's Urgent/Important Principle infographic:

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Eisenhower's Urgent/Important Principle: Using Time Effectively, Not Just Efficiently

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Imagine that your boss has asked you to prepare an important presentation for the next board meeting. You only have a few days to put it together, your workload is already high, and you have many other urgent tasks on your To-Do List. Because of this, you're anxious, you can't concentrate, and everything seems to distract you.

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Article Psychology Today - Procrastination

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Article Psychology Today - Procrastination

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Everyone puts things off sometimes, but procrastinators chronically avoid difficult tasks and may deliberately look for distractions. Procrastination tends to reflect a person's struggles with self-control. For habitual procrastinators, who represent approximately 20 percent of the population, "I don't feel like it" comes to take precedence over their goals or responsibilities, and can set them on a downward spiral of negative emotions that further deter future effort.

Procrastination also involves a degree of self-deception: At some level, procrastinators are aware of their actions and the consequences, but changing their habits requires even greater effort than completing the task in front of them.

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Everyone puts things off sometimes, but procrastinators chronically avoid difficult tasks and may deliberately look for distractions. Procrastination tends to reflect a person's struggles with self-control. For habitual procrastinators, who represent approximately 20 percent of the population, "I don't feel like it" comes to take precedence over their goals or responsibilities, and can set them on a downward spiral of negative emotions that further deter future effort.

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Video - Ellen Degeneres Stop Procrastinating

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Video - Ellen Degeneres Stop Procrastinating

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Stop Procrastinating - ellen degeneres - How To Stop Procrastinating - Very Funny

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Ted Talk - Tim Urban Inside the mind of a procrastinator

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Ted Talk - Tim Urban Inside the mind of a procrastinator

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Tim Urban: Inside the mind of a master procrastinator

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Tim Urban knows that procrastination doesn't make sense, but he's never been able to shake his habit of waiting until the last minute to get things done. In this hilarious and insightful talk, Urban takes us on a journey through YouTube binges, Wikipedia rabbit holes and bouts of staring out the window -- and encourages us to think harder about what we're really procrastinating on, before we run out of time.