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A booklet about the support available at SAFE! for parents and carers

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SEND Local Offer Newsletter Winter 2025 - Issue 39

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send special needs activities short breaks holidays clubs

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Reading Directory | SEND Local Offer Newsletter Winter 2025 - Issue 39

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Welcome to the 39th issue of the SEND Local Offer newsletter. We have packed this edition with lots of information based on parent carers and young people feedback.

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An approach to parenting and professional practice, rooted in Non Violent Resistance

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Connective Parenting bringing positive change to families

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An approach to parenting and professional practice, rooted in Non Violent Resistance

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Connective Parenting bringing positive change to families

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Find out more about our JR Initiative, The PAP Project!

SOS!SEN is an independent registered charity started in 2002 by a small group who had spent much of their lives in education or related services. We help parents secure the right educational support for children and young people with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND).

We now have a team of over 70 volunteers advising parents, many of whom have been in your shoes, seeking to get the right provision for their children.

We are able to fund the important lifeline we provide to parents through your donations for our services and our Surrey-based charity shop.

We provide a range of information, advice and support to help parents find their way through the daunting legal and bureaucratic maze of securing SEN support for their children.

Parents are not always aware of their children's entitlement to SEN provision; we help them navigate the process, with advice underpinned by current legislation and best practice.

I would like to say thank you to everyone at SOS!SEN for their direction and invaluable expertise, which helped me work through an appeal... Your workshops [webinars] on appealing against the contents of EHCP and SEND Tribunal video hearings gave me the confidence to represent myself, and succeed at a SEND Tribunal hearing, to secure needed provisions for my son...

I just wanted to write a huge and heartfelt thank you to SOSSEN. I attended the walk in session in Thornton Heath...and spoke to Sarah who was truly wonderful! I have been feeling very overwhelmed...and my head has felt like a tangled ball of wool. Sarah calmly untangled it all and gave me lots of brilliant advice and next steps to work towards...

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Find out more about our JR Initiative, The PAP Project! SOS!SEN is an independent registered charity started in 2002 by a small group who had spent much of their lives in education or related services. We help parents secure the right educational support for children and young people with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND).

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Al Coates - The Adoption and Fostering Podcast

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Al Coates - The Adoption and Fostering Podcast

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Since our first podcast in October 2015, the A&F Podcast is the go-to space for open, honest, and insightful conversations about advocacy and family.

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Child to Parent Violence Services

Child to Parent Violence (CPV) is a pattern of physical, psychological and emotional behaviour seen in children and adolescents who cannot regulate their feelings in other ways and/or have a great need to gain control over their parent/s or carers. In families who experience CPV, violence as well as destructive behaviour by the child are more often than not the most pressing concern; it has the potential to destroy families.

CPV services we offer

CPV is a serious issue for many families, which is often misunderstood or overlooked. It can be a difficult and seemingly impossible task for parents and carers to acknowledge that this is happening in their family.

As an adoptive parent, seeking help for a child who is displaying such behaviours can be a very shaming experience which can, in turn, prevent parents from accessing the support they need.

PAC-UK offers a broad range of specialist CPV services for parents, carers and professionals. These services are approved for funding by the Adoption Support Fund.

In addition to the services listed below, PAC-UK's Child & Family Service has extensive experience in all aspects of supporting families with adopted or otherwise permanently placed children.

One Day CPV-NVR Awareness Raising Workshops

Child to Parent Violence is now recognised as a real risk factor in adoptive and other permanent placements. Non-Violent Resistance (NVR) is an approach that helps parents learn how to deal with these violent behaviours in their children. This workshop will set out the principles of NVR. It is highly recommended for all adoptive parents, special guardians and foster carers whose children are violent or destructive on a regular basis.

Participants will become familiarised with the principles of NVR and learn how to build 'new authority' in the family and re-connections with their child. Workshops open for online booking are listed below and on our Workshops for Adoptive Parents & Carers page.

CPV-NVR Parent Groups

Our CPV-NVR Parent Groups are designed to teach the NVR principles, as well as provide a space for sharing, and building connections/mutual support between parents. Skills that are taught help parents resist out-of-control and violent behaviours whilst developing a collaborative solution-focused approach to problems (for example: de-escalating conflicts, increasing parental presence, announcing their decision to make a stand, 'sit-ins' and developing support networks). Parents also learn to counter giving-in to their child's demands or responding in a reactive way which can lead to even more violence.

One of the biggest things we take away from the course, in general, was that we wished we had accessed this support earlier in our parenting roles.Becky, CPV-NVR Parent Group participant (read her guest blog via the above link)

Our CPV-NVR Parent Groups consist of 10 weekly 1.5 hour sessions which include short presentations, sharing, discussion and optional role plays. Structured homework tasks help reinforce the ideas from the sessions and help parents make an active connection to situations with their children at home.

The groups are facilitated by PAC-UK Child and Family Therapists who are experienced in working with adoptive families and hold a variety of skills including training in NVR. Parent Graduates co-facilitate the groups. Parent Graduates are adoptive parents or special guardians that have trained in NVR as well as in other relevant knowledge and skills (including therapeutic parenting techniques). Group participants tell us that the role of the Parent Graduate in the group is crucial as this ensures that the parent's voice and experience helps to shape and design the service delivery.

At the end of the group sessions, further support may be offered by means of a follow-up support group, which continues to be facilitated by a therapist and/or Parent Graduate.

In addition to this, we can also offer support to children, parents and education providers through our PAC UK Education Service.

CPV-NVR Parent Groups open for online booking can be found below and are also listed on our Workshops for Adoptive Parents & Carers page.
We run many CPV-NVR Parent Groups throughout the year, so if there are groups listed below that are fully booked and/or you are interested in attending a future group please contact us (details listed at the bottom of this page).
Individualised/Direct Support

This is intended for parents who need more intensive, one-to-one support (or who are unable to attend a CPV-NVR Parent Group). Our CPV services can be tailored to deliver bespoke, direct and individualised support in either a clinical setting or in their family home. The service is delivered by a qualified therapist or an accredited NVR practitioner.

The direct service will be based on the same principles as the group based model NVR, communication, self-care, educational support and intensive group support.

Training for professionals across health, social care, education and support services

Direct training to all staff in social care, health, education and support services is available through PAC-UK.

Our CPV service has contributed to an evaluation study undertaken by Julie Selwyn. Outcomes and evaluations of the CPV-NVR services accessed by parents/families were gathered and analysed to evidence the impact of such interventions for parents and families.

For information on relevant training and workshops please visit our Workshops for Professionals page.

For professionals wishing to seek additional support on behalf of a family or to make a referral, please email cpv@pac-uk.org to book in a call with a member of our team.

Behaviour considered to be violent if others in the family feel threatened, intimidated or controlled by it and if they believe that they must adjust their own behaviour to accommodate threats or anticipation of violence.Paterson et al. (2002) Adolescent violence towards parents: Maintaining family connections when the going gets tough

Parent feedback

There has been no advice as valuable as the ideas and delivery of this course, even if some of it feels alien - hang on in there.CPV-NVR Parent Group participant

Exceptionally good, knowledgeable and experienced course facilitators. Every adoptive family needs these people. Top marks.CPV-NVR Parent Group participant

Further information and enquiries

For more information about our CPV-NVR services please email cpv@pac-uk.org.

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Child to Parent Violence (CPV) is a pattern of physical, psychological and emotional behaviour seen in children and adolescents who cannot regulate their feelings in other ways and/or have a great need to gain control over their parent/s or carers.

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Find out everything you need to know about drugs, their effects and the law. Talk to Frank for facts, support and advice on drugs and alcohol today. | FRANK

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Sexual Health & Wellbeing - Brook - Fighting for healthy lives

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Brook is the only national charity to offer both clinical sexual health services, education & wellbeing services for young people, plus training & support for professionals.

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YoungMinds | Mental Health Charity For Children And Young People

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YoungMinds are a mental health charity for children, young people and their parents, making sure all young people can get the mental health support they need.

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Support organisations for domestic abuse

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Support organisations for domestic abuse

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Kaleidoscopic UK – Turning the lens on domestic abuse

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“I have the pleasure of meeting Vickie earlier this year on a Zoom call. At first, I was sceptical about what the call was aiming to achieve, but as I listened to Vickie and her story, all the scepticism was replaced by an admiration for what she was trying to achieve and her enthusiasm to help others.

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Helpline 0808 801 0882 helpdesk@bwaid.org.uk - Berkshire Women’s Aid (BWA)

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BWA works against domestic abuse and violence, providing support, advocacy and places of safety in Reading, Wokingham and Bracknell, and West Berkshire UK.

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We are a registered charity providing free and confidential counselling to adults and young people in Windsor, Maidenhead and Slough, supporting those in distress where clients can feel valued and heard.

Number 22 provides counselling, advocacy and independent visiting services to the community, free at the point of use.

Help

We're here to support you if you don't know where to turn; if you want someone to listen who won't judge you.

Please use our online form here to leave your details. If you would prefer to do this over the phone, please call us on 01628 636661.(Please note our phone lines are currently down) You can also email us on [email protected]

In an emergency please contact The Samaritans helpline on telephone number 116 123.

What People are Saying about Number22

'Sharing what I have been through has made a world of difference, like a huge weight has been lifted from me. I feel back in control of my life.

'I feel that this period of counselling has been the most successful I have ever had, my counsellor was wonderful, she listened, remembered and challenged me.'

'I realised I wasn't alone, which was how I had been feeling for such a long time.'

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Number22 | Free Counselling in Windsor, Slough and Maidenhead

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Number 22 provides counselling, advocacy and independent visiting services to the community, free at the point of use.

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At CAMHS, we can diagnose: We can offer support for: If you would like to get in contact with CAMHS about any concerns or questions, contact our single point of access service on 01865 901 951.

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There are a lot of local organisations or charities in Buckinghamshire who may be able to offer you some extra support, click on the links below to find out more about what they do.

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Children Young People and Families Online Resource

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Our neurodiversity vision is for everyone at Berkshire Healthcare to recognise, understand and celebrate neurodiversity, and for all neurodivergent people working in, or using our services to be empowered and enabled to have equal access to effective services, support and fulfilling lives.

We've developed our neurodiversity strategy to try and address some of these issues. Read more about our strategy here(opens in new window).
If you are looking for information on how to access our services, please see our service pages.
Please note, we also have training available for professionals, please see our PPEPCare Training page.

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ADHD and Autism (Neurodiversity) | Children Young People and Families Online Resource

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Our neurodiversity vision is for everyone at Berkshire Healthcare to recognise, understand and celebrate neurodiversity, and for all neurodivergent people working in, or using our services to be empowered and enabled to have equal access to effective services, support and fulfilling lives. We've developed our neurodiversity strategy to try and address some of these issues.

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https://www.silenced.org.uk - CPVA training | child to parent violence and abuse

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Silenced provides accredited CPVA training to professionals working with families experiencing child to parent violence and abuse.

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One-Eighty Secures Angels’ Den Funding to Expand Mental Health Support in Buckinghamshire, in Collaboration with Restore Hope

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A psychology-focussed behaviour support charity enabling young people and families to live healthier lives through intensive, outcome-driven and therapeutic approaches.

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SeeSaw | Grief support for children and young people in Oxfordshire

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SeeSaw offers support to families where a parent/carer or sibling is terminally ill or has died. We also offer support to schools and professionals supporting children and young people in Oxfordshire.

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Daisy's Dream is the Berkshire charity supporting children and their families through bereavement

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Grief can be overwhelming - you don't have to deal with it alone. Cruse Bereavement Support is here. Call our helpline or chat online.

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Yvonne Newbold:  Parenting SEND children displaying violent, challenging behaviours.

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Yvonne Newbold:  Parenting SEND children displaying violent, challenging behaviours.

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Thank you for visiting this website, and I hope you will find something here that is helpful in some way to you, your family, or to a family you support. There is a lot of information that has been developed to support children with additional needs, their families and the staff who support them.

About Yvonne Newbold and this Website
Yvonne is a Mother; Author of The Special Parent's Handbook; Writer, Speaker; Trainer; Founder of The SEND VCB Project; National Learning Disability and Autism Lifetime Achievement Award Winner 2018; WHIS Ambassador, Autism, Learning Disabilities & Families; Advisor, NHS England Learning Disabilities & Autism; GLLDCOP {Greater London Learning Disabilities Community of Practice) Steering Group Member; School for Change Agents Graduate 2017; PENNA Outstanding Contribution to Patient Experience Award 2016; LDT Learning Disability Champion Award 2015; HSJ Top 50 Inspirational Women in Healthcare Award 2014. QFC PTTLS Level 3
The SEND VCB Project

Over the past couple of years, my primary focus has been on SEND VCB, or Special Educational Needs and Disabilities, Violent and Challenging Behaviour. It all started here, with the first ever Conference on Violent and Challenging Behaviour in Children with an Additional Need.

Those conversations did indeed continue. I now run Workshops and give talks to parents and staff who work with our children in London and all over the country. Here's the link to find out more -

To find out more about SEND VCB you may find it helpful to listen to me talking about it in this NHS England Webinar -

Here are some of the resources I've created for parents and professionals -

Resources on SEND VCB - for families and professionals who work with children or vulnerable adults

If you only have time to read one, this would be a great starting point -

Violent & Challenging Behaviour - The Basics

Facebook Pages / Groups

If you are a parent living with a child who is violent and challenging, we have a closed Facebook Group called Breaking the Silence on SEND VCB. It's where parents can come together to support each other, share difficulties or suggestions and learn from one another in a safe space with no judgement. If you'd like to join, we will ask three questions before adding you to ensure as far as we can that all new members have first hand experience of SEND VCB within their own families. Here's the link - https://www.facebook.com/groups/421839288150939/

If you are a professional and would like to learn more, we also have a Public Page called SEND VCB where we share relevant posts about this topic.Here's the link - https://www.facebook.com/SEND-VCB-1460745954052601/

There's another Facebook Public Page called The SEND Parent's Handbook, where we share the best quality information we can find on any childhood disability topic, and it's popular with both parents and professionals alike. Here's the link - https://www.facebook.com/thespecialparentshandbook/

I also speak about other issues relevant to children and young adults who have severe learning disabilities, here is a video of a talk to healthcare staff at a series of NHS England Events. -

Forthcoming Events

2018

Wednesday, 7 th November - GLLDCOP Launch Conference - London

Friday. 16 th November - North Lincs SEND Conference, Scunthorpe

Saturday 17 th November - London - You Can Do This! Workshop

Monday, 19th November - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns at 11.30am and 4.00pm

Tuesday, 20th November - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns after-school session

Wednesday 21st November - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns after-school session

Thursday 22nd November - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns, lunchtime and after school

Friday 23rd December - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns after school session

Saturday, 1 st December - London - Overcoming the Challenges Workshop

Saturday, 8 th December - London - How to Reduce Violent Meltdowns

2019

Saturday 12th January - London - How to keep Brothers and Sisters Safe and Happy

Monday 12th March - Warwick - How to Reduce Violent Meltdowns

Wednesday 14th March - Herts - How to Reduce Violent Meltdowns

The Special Parent's Handbook

Written originally for parents of children with additional needs, it's now widely read by professionals across health, education and social care as well. It's also an Amazon #1 Best Seller. If you visit the Amazon Page, you can read the first chapter on their "Look Inside" feature, and you'll also be able to see see the warm-hearted and lovely reviews that several kind people have written about it too.

There's also an online course all about making your family Christmas more Autism-Friendly, looking specifically at the seaonal causes of anxiety and what you can do to make them more manageable for your child. It normally retails at £34.99, but if you use the link below, you'll save over 40%, and it will only be £19.99

Yvonne is a member of the Amazon Affiliates Program which means that if you click on an Amazon link from this website and subsequently make a purchase, she will be paid a small commission.

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Thank you for visiting this website, and I hope you will find something here that is helpful in some way to you, your family, or to a family you support. There is a lot of information that has been developed to support children with additional needs, their families and the staff who support them.

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Tools and Practical Resources - Barriers to Education

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A range of tools and practical resources that aim to reduce barriers to education

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Oxfordshire Family Information Service (OxonFIS) | Oxfordshire County Council

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Provides information and support for children, young people and families in Oxfordshire.

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Who we are and what we do

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BRF (Building Respectful Families) | SAFE!

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Support for young people affected by crime

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A professionals guide - referring to Building Respectful Families

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A professionals guide - referring to Building Respectful Families

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providing ADHD and Autism support services in East Berkshire

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The GEMS website is being developed in phases to ensure that the site reflects the needs of East Berkshire residents whether children, young people, or adults. Within the About Autism and About ADHD sections you will find a selection of Frequently Asked Questions, if these do not reflect your needs - please email requests for further information to gems.4health@nhs.net or call our helpdesk team on 0800 9991342, monday to friday, 9am to 5pm.

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PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide is the UK charity dedicated to the prevention of suicide and the promotion of positive mental health and emotional wellbeing in young people.

Suicide is the biggest killer of people aged 35 and under in the UK. We believe that suicide is preventable.

PAPYRUS was founded in 1997 by a group of bereaved parents, who had each lost children to suicide. Our founding parents shared core beliefs that suicide is preventable, and that those of us with lived experience of suicide have a valuable and unique contribution to make to the wider conversation around suicide.

Since then, PAPYRUS has grown into a UK-wide charity with offices in north west England, south west England, West Midlands, London, Northern Ireland, north Wales, south Wales, and Scotland.

Today, we are a leading youth suicide prevention charity in the UK. Our suicide prevention helpline, HOPELINE247, is staffed by trained suicide prevention advisers, who work with young people - and anybody concerned for a young person - to help keep them safe from suicide. HOPELINE247 is a free and confidential call, text and email service, which is available 24 hours a day, every day of the year (weekends and bank holidays included),

We deliver our suicide prevention education and training packages to thousands of people each year, to create suicide-safer communities across the UK.

We also press for change to current legislation around suicide prevention on a regional and national level.

The work we do centres around three key principles; Support Equip and Influence.

SUPPORT:

We provide confidential support and advice to young people struggling with thoughts of suicide, and anyone worried about a young person through our helpline, HOPELINE247.

EQUIP:

We engage communities and volunteers in suicide prevention projects and deliver training programmes to individuals and groups. This includes equipping local councils, healthcare professionals and school staff with suicide prevention skills.

INFLUENCE:

We aim to shape national social policy and make a significant contribution to the local and regional implementation of national suicide prevention strategies wherever we can. Our campaigning comes from our passion as individuals, parents, families and communities who have been touched personally by young suicide. We press for change in many places using hard-hitting and dynamic campaigns as well as presenting evidence to those in power so that lessons can be learned and learning implemented to help save young lives.

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About Us | Papyrus UK | Suicide Prevention Charity

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PAPYRUS is the national charity dedicated to the prevention of young suicide. | Learn more about what we do.

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24/7

You can text us any time, day or night.

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Your messages with us are confidential and anonymous.

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It is free to text Shout from all major mobile networks in the UK.

Get involved

Donations doubled in the Big Give Christmas Challenge

Simply support Shout's Big Give campaign by midday on 5 December, and your donation will be doubled!

Can you help us hit our match funding target of £50,000 and support a further 5,000 people this winter?

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Ways to cope with upsetting events in the news

If you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious or sad about what's going on in the news, know that you're definitely not alone. Here are some actions we can take to help us cope better through times like this.

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I think Shout saved my life tonight... no one has ever made me feel so safe, listened to and understood

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Online resources and support

However you're feeling right now, you don't have to face it alone. We're here to support you with your mental health.

Take a look at our resources, information and support, find further help or reach out to one of our volunteers.

Resources for you

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Shout - UK's 24/7 Crisis Text Service for Mental Health Support

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Shout 85258 is the UK's first 24/7 text service for anyone in crisis. Get free, confidential mental health support anytime, anywhere. Text 'SHOUT' to 85258.

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Samaritans works to make sure there's always someone there for anyone who needs someone. Read more.

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Message 07441 444 125 via WhatsApp to chat to Family Support Worker, if you are worried about your child or your family life.

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Parenting and Family Support - Family Lives (Parentline Plus) | Family Lives

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Parenting and family support from Family Lives (formerly Parentline Plus) through our website, helpline 0808 800 2222, email service at askus@familylives.org.uk, live chat and local services.

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Support for all affected by adoption - Adopt Thames Valley

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Support for all affected by adoptionThe Permanence Support Team provides support to adoptive families, special guardianship families and birth relatives across the ATV area. We have staff based throughout the region and offer a variety of support services across Oxfordshire, Berkshire and Swindon. Email: ATV.PermanenceSupport@oxfordshire.gov.uk Call 01865 323121 For more ... Read More

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Parenting Adopted Teenagers | The Potato Group

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The Potato Group has around 400 members who are parenting an adopted teenager or post teens from all over the UK. We parent traumatised teens who have suffered early trauma & continue to face difficulties as teens & young adults. We are a peer based service for families with teenagers who hurt.

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Normal Magic | A service dedicated to mentally healthy living for all.

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The ADHD Foundation Neurodiversity Charity - an integrated health and education service.

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When it comes to ND children they are trying to learn so many things and relationships are such a big thing to get their heads around. The pressure to conform and fit in with their neurotypical peer groups, and why that can be so hard, is something we as parents and professionals need to understand so we can support not just them, but the people and other children around them. This training goes through the reasons why they can be so difficult.

A recording will be sent out afterwards to anyone who registers for the training.

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Autism & ADHD. A world where everybody understands Autism and ADHD. Support, Training and Stories for those with Autism &/or ADHD and the wider community.

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Information, support, childcare and things to do for families, children and young people aged from birth to 19 years (up to 25 years with a disability/additional need)

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Bucks Council - Emotionally Based School Non-Attendance

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Bucks Council - Emotionally Based School Non-Attendance

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Emotionally Based School Non-Attendance (EBSNA)

Emotionally Based School Non-Attendance (EBSNA) describes the difficulties that some children and young people have in attending school due to emotional factors. This can result in prolonged absences from school.

EBSNA includes children and young people who:

go to school but experience separation or social anxiety, and psychosomatic illnesses

have frequent absences due to anxiety or illness

are unable to attend daily

EBSNA may also be known as Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA).

There are four stages of support

Schools and parents work together to support the child/young person.

Professionals in mental health and special educational needs provide help when needed

Educational Psychologists (EPs) offer advice to the school and the parent/carer

Schools can refer to the EBSNA team

The EBSNA toolkit provides guidance and resources for professionals working in or with schools to develop an understanding of what leads children and young people to feel that they must avoid school.

Multi-Agency support is required to help children become ready to go back to school. A plan is put in place to support the family and the child/young person.

EBSNA Parent and Carer Guidance

The guidance aims to help parents or carers understand EBSNA and to support children and young people.

Take me to the guidance

EBSNA Toolkit for Professionals

The EBSNA toolkit provides guidance and resources for professionals working in or with schools to develop an understanding of what leads children and young people to feel that they must avoid school.

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Emotionally Based School Non-Attendance (EBSNA)

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Emotionally Based School Non-Attendance (EBSNA) describes the difficulties that some children and young people have in attending school due to emotional factors. This often results in prolonged absences from school.

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Online information, advice and support for kinship carers.

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About Kinship

Kinship is the leading kinship care charity in England and Wales. We work with all kinship carers - the grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and family friends - who are caring for children when their parents can't.

We want to make sure every kinship family is recognised, valued and gets the support they need.

Kinship Compass is here to help all kinship carers to get expert advice and information. And to support them to access emotional support through peer support groups and connecting with other kinship carers.

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Kinship Compass | Independent information hub for kinship carers

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Kinship is the leading kinship care charity in England and Wales. We work with all kinship carers - the grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and family friends - who are caring for children when their parents can't. We want to make sure every kinship family is recognised, valued and gets the support they need.

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We offer a range of information and advice to parents, carers and families of people living with autism of all ages.

We run weekly drop-in advice sessions during school terms at our office in Reading, monthly drop-in sessions at Swings & Smiles' coffee mornings in Thatcham, and a number of free support groups for parents and carers, with visiting speakers. We also provide a comprehensive range of training workshops for parents and carers.

We also administer the Berkshire Autism Alert Card scheme, which helps people living with autism to quickly and easily explain their condition to others if they become anxious or stressed while out and about.

Our Useful Links page provides signposts to a range of online resources, such as local authorities, health services, education and information about benefits.

Professor Tony Attwood's website offers a useful guide for parents, people with Asperper's syndrome and their partners.

You can also download our Help & Support leaflet for further info, by clicking here or on the image.

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Support for Parents, Families and Carers - Autism Berkshire

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We offer a range of information and advice to parents, carers and families of people living with autism of all ages.

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Training Courses for parent/carers

Autism and behaviour we find challenging

Other - bespoke training

Training Courses for professionals

Autism Awareness

Other bespoke training - let us know what you want

Details of forthcoming events are sent by EMAIL to all parents and professionals on our mailing list, and posted on our website. If you are not sure if you are registered with us or have changed your email address please email us.
Contact us to request training
We offer bespoke training on request for parents or professionals, such as Social Skills, Autism Awareness, Social Stories and other strategies, Sensory Processing, Sexuality Awareness and more. Email us with details of your request.

Do you have a young person you need to refer to us? Are you a young adult who would like our support?

Download our Fact File!

Our Fact File directories provide essential information you need to know, from support groups and play activities, to education and welfare benefits.

Check out the Fact File if you have a query or are new to the area - but if you can't find what you are looking for, feel free to contact us

From befrienders to youth club workers and occasional helpers at events, Children In Touch relies on people like you giving their time.

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Autism and behaviour we find challenging Other - bespoke training Autism Awareness Other bespoke training - let us know what you want Details of forthcoming events are sent by EMAIL to all parents and professionals on our mailing list, and posted on our website.

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Oxfordshire Autistic Society Information and Support

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Oxfordshire Autistic Society Information and Support

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OASIS is a friendly charity run by parents for parents/carers who are bringing up children/young adults with Autistic Spectrum Disorder or related conditions such as Global Developmental Delay or Sensory Processing Disorder in Oxfordshire.

We aim to create a supportive community through informal coffee and chat groups, evening meetings with professional speakers, subsidised courses and family play days during school holidays.

We welcome families who have an ASD diagnosis for their child and also those going through the assessment process.

Registered Charity Number 1033927

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OASIS - Oxfordshire Autistic Society Information and Support

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OASIS is a friendly charity run by parents for parents/carers who are bringing up children/young adults with Autistic Spectrum Disorder or related conditions such as Global Developmental Delay or Sensory Processing Disorder in Oxfordshire. We aim to create a supportive community through informal coffee and chat groups, evening meetings with professional speakers, subsidised courses and family play days during school holidays.

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Reading Borough Council (Brighter Futures for Children) SEND Local Offer

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send special needs activities short breaks holidays clubs

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Reading Directory | SEND Local Offer Newsletter Spring 2024 - Issue 34

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Welcome to the 34th issue of the SEND Local Offer newsletter. We have packed this edition with lots of information based on parent carers and young people feedback. There are some fantastic short breaks, activities and support services included in issue 34 of the newsletter....

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UK based group of parents who have adopted their children from the care system in the past 20+ years

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Parenting Adopted Teenagers | The Potato Group

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The Potato Group has around 400 members who are parenting an adopted teenager or post teens from all over the UK. We parent traumatised teens who have suffered early trauma & continue to face difficulties as teens & young adults. We are a peer based service for families with teenagers who hurt.

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Easy read website designed for for young people (16+) with learning difficulties and autism living in the Thames Valley

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Our website provides help and information about how to stay safe in lots of different situations.

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We also have a page which explains what a SEND Local Offer is. The page includes a video and frequently asked questions. It's useful because it sets out what you can expect locally and what legislation exists to support the availability of certain services locally. You can access it .

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Reading Directory | Special Educational Needs & Disabilities - Reading's Local Offer

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Welcome to Reading's SEND Local Offer Winners of the National Association of Family Information Services (NAFIS) Coram Family & Childcare award for Best Community Engagement 2022 Winners of the National Association of Family Information Service (NAFIS) Coram Family & Childcare award for 'Best SEND Local...

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You are not to blame. The domestic abuse perpetrator is 100% responsible and it's up to them to ask for help to change. You can't do it for them.

Even if the abuser gets help for their violence and abuse, it doesn't always mean they'll change.

Couples therapy, mediation, anger management or individual counselling for the abuse are not safe interventions if your relationship is abusive.

Help and support is available for you.

Female victims of domestic abuse

A lot of women experiencing domestic abuse want the abuse to end, but love their partner and hope that they'll change and the relationship will continue. Others want to end the relationship, but are scared or overwhelmed.

If your partner is receiving support to change, you might feel under pressure to give the relationship another chance. It's important to remember, though, that not everyone changes. Some change a little, but they won't be transformed.

It's important that you get some help and support for yourself, so that you can do what's right for you and your children. And it's still okay for you to choose to end the relationship, even if the perpetrator changes.
How will you know if your abusive partner is changing?
This downloadable leaflet explains the signs of change in an abusive partner.
Respect Phoneline-How to tell if the abuser is changing 2020

Men experience domestic abuse too, and often they find it hard to speak out about it. They might be worried about seeming weak, or worry that they will be blamed or won't be believed.

Men who experience domestic abuse are facing a unique set of challenges. Our friendly Men's Advice Line advisors are specially trained to offer you emotional support, as well as the practical advice and information that you need right now.

Call freephone 0808 8010327, or visit www.mensadviceline.org.uk

If your partner is receiving support to change, you might feel under pressure to give the relationship another chance. It's important to remember, though, that not everyone changes. Some change a little, but they won't be transformed.

It's important that you get some help and support for yourself, so that you can do what's right for you and your children (if you have any). And it's still okay for you to choose to end the relationship, even if the perpetrator changes.
How will you know if your abusive partner is changing?
This downloadable leaflet explains the signs of change in an abusive partner.
Respect Phoneline-How to tell if the abuser is changing 2020

Help and support for women experiencing domestic abuse

Police
In an emergency, always call 999 for urgent assistance.

Helplines
These helplines will be able to give you confidential advice, support and information

England
The 24hr freephone National Domestic Violence Helpline is available on
0808 2000247 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk

Scotland
Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline is available on
0800 0271234 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
www.sdafmh.org.uk

Northern Ireland
The 24-Hour Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline is available on
0808 8021414 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
www.dsahelpline.org

Wales
The Live Fear Free Helpline is available on 08088010800 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
www.gov.wales/live-fear-free

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Help For Domestic Abuse Victims | Respect Phoneline UK

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You are not to blame. The domestic abuse perpetrator is 100% responsible and it's up to them to ask for help to change. You can't do it for them. Even if the abuser gets help for their violence and abuse, it doesn't always mean they'll change.

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Video title: Refuge's 24-hour, Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline
Video duration: 1 minute 20 seconds
Description: Information video on what it is like to call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline and who can call it.

Refuge's 24-hour, Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline 'Transcript'

[Background music plays]

Soft down beat music

[Animated sequence]

Animation in hand-drawn style showing a woman in a house standing behind a man on a sofa. The woman looks worried and the man appears angry, a speech bubble comes out of the man's mouth.

[Text displays]

!*!!*!!

[Female voice over]

I was walking on eggshells around my partner didn't know where to turn.

[Animated sequence]

The door in the background slams shut. We zoom in on it and it turns into a smart mobile phone in the women's hand. The phone displays the details of the National Domestic Abuse Helpline Number and a green phone icon. Her finger hovers over the phone icon.

[Text displays]

Refuge National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247

[Female voice over]

I'd read about refuges National Domestic Abuse Helpline, but I was hesitant to call.

[Animated sequence]

The scene transitions to the woman sitting on a couch to the left of the screen, and another woman, the Helpline adviser, sitting on the right on a computer. They are facing each other. The screen is split into two different backgrounds with a window in the background that crosses over both.

[Female voice over]

The woman I spoke to really understood my situation though, it was such a relief just to talk.

[Animated sequence]

The woman begins to smile. The blinds in the window open up to show a sun and both rooms become brighter.

[Animated sequence]

Scene transitions to a top down view of the Helpline worker writing on lined paper.

[Female voice over]

I was reassured that it was a confidential and non-judgmental service run by a charity.

[Text displays]

Confidential

Non-judgemental

[Female voice over]

She said I could ring at any time, even if I just wanted to talk about what I was going through

[Text displays]

Any time

Just talk

[Female voice over]

It's free and open 24 hours a day.

[Text displays]

Free

24 hours

[Animated sequence]

Scene zooms out to show a group of five women of mixed races and ages including the Helpline adviser from the earlier scene.

[Female voice over]

It was comforting to know that the helpline is staffed by an all female team of experts,

[Animated sequence]

Scene zooms out to show smart mobile phone showing an animation of the live chat page on nationaldahelpline.org.uk. The women's finger begins to type.

[Female voice over]

and that I can also contact them using live chat.

[Sound effect]

Keys tapping

[Animated sequence]

The phone fades away and four framed picture swing into view. They show four women of various ages and races, one of who is pictured with a child, including the women from the first scene.

[Female voice over]

I was told that the helpline is open to any woman who is afraid of her partner,

[Sound effect]

Glass cracking

[Animated sequence]

The glass in one of the picture frames cracks

[Text displays]

[Female voice over]

whether you're being physically abused or not

[Animated sequence]

The picture of the woman from the first scene is zoomed in on. She picks up her mobile phone as the frame turns into a circle. Another circular frame, showing the Helpline adviser, comes into view and begins to merge with the woman's frame. The woman and the Helpline worker turn to face each other and hold hands.

[Female voice over]

The Helpline advisor helped me realise I'm not alone and reassured me it wasn't my fault.

[Text displays]

I'm not alone

[Animated sequence]

Scene scrolls across to show the woman looking in a mirror and hugging herself. She begins to smile.

[Female voice over]

That was really empowering and I began to believe in myself again.

She made me feel like I had choices.

[Background music plays]

Music becomes more upbeat

[Animated sequence]

Scene zooms in on mirror until the frame is not visible. The background transitions to show a countryside scene with rolling hills, trees and butterflies. The woman lifts a hot drink to take a sip and closes her eyes.

[Female voice over]

From that moment on, I could see a life free from violence and fear.

That phone call was the beginning of the rest of my life.

[Animated sequence]

The woman opens her eyes and looks up.

[Animated sequence]

Scene fades to show black text on a white background below the Refuge pink and black logo.

[Text displays]

Refuge's Freephone, 24 hour, National Domestic Abuse Helpline.
Call us on 0808 2000 247
Or visit wwww.nationaldahelpline.org.uk for information and support, including our live chat and secure online contact form.

We know our lines are often busy but we really want to hear from you.

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Home | Refuge National Domestic Abuse Helpline

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Video title: Refuge's 24-hour, Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline Video duration: 1 minute 20 seconds Description: Information video on what it is like to call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline and who can call it.

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Reading - Brighter Futures for Children Youth Zone

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Reading - Brighter Futures for Children Youth Zone

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As well as providing services for younger children and families, we also support anyone aged 13+:

Youth Service: you may meet some of our youth workers out and about around the borough each week, on hand to provide you with any advice or info. Or you can join in with an online youth club they run, Wednesdays 5-6pm. There's also one to one support through our specialist teams. Find out more here.

Elevate: our careers service provide impartial advice to support you into employment, education or training.

Young carers: If you're caring for an adult family member or silbling, there is a weekly group you can join for support - read more here.

ReachOUT: We also host weekly sessions (virtually at the moment) for young people who are LGBTQ+ - details here

Childline has a range of advice for coping with the impact of the pandemic.

This short guide has been produced by the Children's Commissioner to help answer any questions you may have about coronavirus.

MIND has information and support on its website if you're worried about coronavirus and how to cope with the changes to your life

Young Minds pulled this blog together with tips for maintaining good mental health

Student Space is a mental health programme to support students through the unique circumstances created by the coronavirus pandemic.

Anna Freud (National Centre for Children and Families) has advice and selfcare resources to support your wellbeing.

No5 supports children and young people in Reading to become mentally fit. They offer free counselling services and confidential listening.
Text TALK to 07786 202430, call 0118 901 5668, email info@no5.org.uk or visit their website

Kooth is your online mental wellbeing community where you can access lots of useful information

Young Minds is a charity that offers lots of support and help - if you are experiencing a mental health crisis and need support, text YM to 85258, 24/7. Or see here for more info.

The Little Blue Book of Sunshine is a great resource, by oo much. Read the Berkshire West NHS, with details on what you can do right now to feel better or who to turn to if things feel tlatest version here.

Do you want to speak to someone in your local community about your health? Text the School Nurses Service on 0799077164

If you're under 18 and worried about something, Place2Be can help

Every Mind Matters (NHS and Public Health England) has information for young people on mental health and self-care.

NHS England has a blog about what to do if it is all getting too much.

Rise above has inspiring and useful stories, videos, games and advice for young people.

Power of Youth has resources, information, activities and thoughts from young people and organisations from all over the UK

Reading's independent and impartial Information, Advice & Support Service for SEND offers free advice and support. Call on 0118 937 3421, email iass@brighterfuturesforchildren.org or visit the Reading IASS website

For many more local and national organisations that can support you, visit this directory

There are many young people who unfortunately experience abuse, domestic violence or exploitation but do not realise they are being abused. There are different forms of abuse including:

emotional: being ignored, excluded or blamed

physical: being repeatedly hit or not cared for

sexual: being forced to take part in sexual activities in person or through the internet or mobile phones

Any form of abuse should not be happening. It is not your fault and you shouldn't feel guilty, scared or ashamed.

There are many organisations who can help you:

If you are in immediate danger, call 999. Press 55 when prompted if you can't speak.

Or if you have any immediate concerns, please call 0118 937 3641 or email cspoa@brighterfuturesforchildren.org without delay.

NSPCC: call 24/7 on 0808 800 5000. Read more abuse and sexual exploitation

Childline: can also be contacted 24/7. Calls to 0800 1111 are free and confidential or contact them online

ThinkuKnow has advice about staying safe when you're on a phone, tablet or computer - explore one of their age specific websites.

Films, games, quizzes and advice to help you use the internet safely and positively can be found here - UK Safer Internet Centre

From bullying, feeling good on social media, tips to keeping private to online gaming, Childline has a load of support for online and mobile safety.

Social media is great for staying connected to friends and family but it can also be somewhere where negative language and imagery is shared, which impacts on our mental health and wellbeing.

Read Anna Freud's Managing social media booklet, written with young people, which aims to offer advice and guidance on how to minimise this impact.

Here are some tips to make sure you're using the internet responsibly from The Mix.

Loan sharks offering financial support (illegal loans) may advertise online, through WhatsApp, Instagram or SnapChat or other social media platforms - it's important to be wary and report anything that seems suspicious. See here for more info and how to report anonymously.

Sex is your choice. Being ready happens at different times for everyone. It's completely normal to have questions and there will be many young people feeling the same or in similar situations.

Whether you've had sex or not, it's important to find out about consent and contraception so you can make decisions that are right for you.

If you identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans or are questioning your sexual or gender identity, you may feel confused or misunderstood.

There are different types of organisations that can support you or give you advice on various issues.

We have a local group, called ReachOUT that provides advice, support and a safe space for young people to meet others in a similar situation

Everyone should be free to be themselves - Barnardos provides direct support to all young people

Young Stonewall empowers young LGBT to live their lives free from discrimination - find out how they can help here

Want to read about the history of the gay rights movement? See the LGBT+ history month website which has different info and resources.

The Mix is an essential support service for young people, helping you take on any challenge you're facing. Read more here

If you want to speak to someone about relationships, family or sex issues, Berkshire's Relate can help

Cool2talkand one2one provide a safe space where you can get questions answered, without judgement. Your questions can be about anything and will be answered within 24 hours. Visit its website here

Special United is a youth forum for children and young people with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) and their siblings, age 8-25 years, living within the Reading Borough. The youth forum is run by Reading Families Forum, a local charity supporting families who have children and young adults with SEND.Special United youth forum gives young people with SEND a platform to have their say on the services that are provided for them locally.

Free, safe and anonymous online support can be found here with Kooth

If you're a young person with SEND (Special Educational Needs and/or Disabilities), Reading has an independent and impartial Information, Advice & Support Service (known locally as Reading IASS but often referred to elsewhere as SENDIASS) for advice and support. Call on 0118 937 3421 or at iass@brighterfuturesforchildren.org. Or visit the Reading IASS website, which has a host of useful information and advice.

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For young people and children in care | Brighter Futures for Children

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As well as providing services for younger children and families, we also support anyone aged 13+: Youth Service: you may meet some of our youth workers out and about around the borough each week, on hand to provide you with any advice or info.

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Partnership Project - Non-Violent Resistance

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Partnership Project - Non-Violent Resistance

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Non Violent Resistance ( NVR) is an innovative form of systemic family therapy, which has been developed for aggressive, violent, controlling and self-destructive behaviour in young people. We have been the first to use this approach in Britain, and have adapted it to families involved with Social Services, and for Looked After Children.*

High efficacy and very low drop-out rates make this a very efficient and cost-saving approach for CAMHS clinicians and professionals in Social Services or the independent sector. Working with NVR can help prevent family breakdown or foster placement breakdown.

PartnershipProjects offers training for professionals from foundation level upwards. See our Training Map, to understand the NVR Training Journey.

* Jakob, P : Peace Dividend. Community Care, June, 32-33 / Jakob, P. (2006): Bringing non-violent resistance to Britain. Context, 84, 36-38

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Introduction to NVR - PartnershipProjects UK

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Non Violent Resistance ( NVR) is an innovative form of systemic family therapy, which has been developed for aggressive, violent, controlling and self-destructive behaviour in young people.

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Yvonne Newbold:  Parenting SEND children displaying violent, challenging behaviours.

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Yvonne Newbold:  Parenting SEND children displaying violent, challenging behaviours.

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Thank you for visiting this website, and I hope you will find something here that is helpful in some way to you, your family, or to a family you support. There is a lot of information that has been developed to support children with additional needs, their families and the staff who support them.

About Yvonne Newbold and this Website
Yvonne is a Mother; Author of The Special Parent's Handbook; Writer, Speaker; Trainer; Founder of The SEND VCB Project; National Learning Disability and Autism Lifetime Achievement Award Winner 2018; WHIS Ambassador, Autism, Learning Disabilities & Families; Advisor, NHS England Learning Disabilities & Autism; GLLDCOP {Greater London Learning Disabilities Community of Practice) Steering Group Member; School for Change Agents Graduate 2017; PENNA Outstanding Contribution to Patient Experience Award 2016; LDT Learning Disability Champion Award 2015; HSJ Top 50 Inspirational Women in Healthcare Award 2014. QFC PTTLS Level 3
The SEND VCB Project

Over the past couple of years, my primary focus has been on SEND VCB, or Special Educational Needs and Disabilities, Violent and Challenging Behaviour. It all started here, with the first ever Conference on Violent and Challenging Behaviour in Children with an Additional Need.

Those conversations did indeed continue. I now run Workshops and give talks to parents and staff who work with our children in London and all over the country. Here's the link to find out more -

To find out more about SEND VCB you may find it helpful to listen to me talking about it in this NHS England Webinar -

Here are some of the resources I've created for parents and professionals -

Resources on SEND VCB - for families and professionals who work with children or vulnerable adults

If you only have time to read one, this would be a great starting point -

Violent & Challenging Behaviour - The Basics

Facebook Pages / Groups

If you are a parent living with a child who is violent and challenging, we have a closed Facebook Group called Breaking the Silence on SEND VCB. It's where parents can come together to support each other, share difficulties or suggestions and learn from one another in a safe space with no judgement. If you'd like to join, we will ask three questions before adding you to ensure as far as we can that all new members have first hand experience of SEND VCB within their own families. Here's the link - https://www.facebook.com/groups/421839288150939/

If you are a professional and would like to learn more, we also have a Public Page called SEND VCB where we share relevant posts about this topic.Here's the link - https://www.facebook.com/SEND-VCB-1460745954052601/

There's another Facebook Public Page called The SEND Parent's Handbook, where we share the best quality information we can find on any childhood disability topic, and it's popular with both parents and professionals alike. Here's the link - https://www.facebook.com/thespecialparentshandbook/

I also speak about other issues relevant to children and young adults who have severe learning disabilities, here is a video of a talk to healthcare staff at a series of NHS England Events. -

Forthcoming Events

2018

Wednesday, 7 th November - GLLDCOP Launch Conference - London

Friday. 16 th November - North Lincs SEND Conference, Scunthorpe

Saturday 17 th November - London - You Can Do This! Workshop

Monday, 19th November - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns at 11.30am and 4.00pm

Tuesday, 20th November - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns after-school session

Wednesday 21st November - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns after-school session

Thursday 22nd November - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns, lunchtime and after school

Friday 23rd December - Isle of Wight Reducing Violent Meltdowns after school session

Saturday, 1 st December - London - Overcoming the Challenges Workshop

Saturday, 8 th December - London - How to Reduce Violent Meltdowns

2019

Saturday 12th January - London - How to keep Brothers and Sisters Safe and Happy

Monday 12th March - Warwick - How to Reduce Violent Meltdowns

Wednesday 14th March - Herts - How to Reduce Violent Meltdowns

The Special Parent's Handbook

Written originally for parents of children with additional needs, it's now widely read by professionals across health, education and social care as well. It's also an Amazon #1 Best Seller. If you visit the Amazon Page, you can read the first chapter on their "Look Inside" feature, and you'll also be able to see see the warm-hearted and lovely reviews that several kind people have written about it too.

There's also an online course all about making your family Christmas more Autism-Friendly, looking specifically at the seaonal causes of anxiety and what you can do to make them more manageable for your child. It normally retails at £34.99, but if you use the link below, you'll save over 40%, and it will only be £19.99

Yvonne is a member of the Amazon Affiliates Program which means that if you click on an Amazon link from this website and subsequently make a purchase, she will be paid a small commission.

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Thank you for visiting this website, and I hope you will find something here that is helpful in some way to you, your family, or to a family you support. There is a lot of information that has been developed to support children with additional needs, their families and the staff who support them.

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Children Heard and Seen is a charity which provides support and interventions for children with a parent in prison. The charity was set up in 2014, with a focus on reducing intergenerational offending, and mitigating the impacts of parental imprisonment for children and young people. Whilst we are primarily based in Oxfordshire , the introduction of online support during the pandemic means that we are now able to accept referrals to support families across the country.

Our director is a qualified social worker who has over thirty years of experience working with children and families.We have a strong and effective trustee board, which consists of a number one prison governor, a former MP, a barrister, a Police Chief Inspector and a Senior Safeguarding Manager for social care.

In 2019 we won the Queen's Award for Voluntary Service. This is the highest award given to volunteer groups across the UK to recognise the exceptional service within their communities. In 2020, we were also awarded the Outstanding Regional/Local Organisation Award by the Criminal Justice Alliance for our work in supporting families throughout the pandemic.
Registered Charity Number 1157879

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Who we are What we offer Our news Family blogs In the news Get involved Support us Contact us X Who we are. Supporting children and young people impacted by parental imprisonment. Children Heard and Seen support children, young people and their families who are impacted by parental imprisonment.

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http://trusthousereading.org/

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Reading - Family Information Service (FIS)

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Reading - Family Information Service (FIS)

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https://servicesguide.reading.gov.uk/kb5/reading/directory/service.page?id=25MIHxk6ME0

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Looking for childcare? Want to know if you can get help paying for childcare? Want activities to do with your children? Looking for children and family services? FIS is a FREE impartial information, advice and guidance service for 0 - 25 year olds, delivered by qualified staff.
We have lots of information for families, child carers and professionals, including:

Ofsted registered childcare - childminders, pre-schools, day nurseries, out of school and holiday clubs, etc

Unregistered childcare - parent and toddler groups, childcare for the over 8s, etc

Help and advice on choosing childcare

Information on financial help for families with childcare costs - including tax credits, benefits and free Early Years Entitlement for 2, 3 and 4 year olds

30 hour Childcare entitlement

Useful local and national support organisations

Details of a range of leisure activities

Wide range of leaflets and guides

Childcare Brokerage Service

Support for families of children with disabilities and specific needs - 0 - 25 years - Local Offer

Information on Children's Centres.

A free information service for families living and working in Reading.

The Family Information Service provides information on behalf of Brighter Futures for Children, which is contracted to deliver the SEND/Local Offer service and the Family Information Service. Brighter Futures For Children - Website

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Looking for childcare? Want to know if you can get help paying for childcare? Want activities to do with your children? Looking for children and family services? FIS is a FREE impartial information, advice and guidance service for 0 - 25 year olds, delivered by qualified staff.

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https://www.oxfordshire.gov.uk/residents/children-education-and-families/childrens-services/childrens-psychological-services/attach-team

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What the ATTACH Team is

Our therapeutic team is made up of clinical psychologists, senior practitioners in social work and an educational psychologist. We work with adoptive, special guardianship and foster care families in Oxfordshire.

Our work uses attachment theory to understand the needs of children who have been neglected or abused and who no longer live with their birth parents.

How to make a referral to the ATTACH Team

Referrals can be made to us by your social worker through our shared computer system. Adoptive parents and special guardians can refer themselves to us using the referral form (docx format, 91Kb). We do not accept referrals directly from schools.

How we decide what is right for your child and you

Before we meet with you we send you some questionnaires to complete to help us begin to understand your difficulties. When we first meet with you for an assessment this will take about an hour and a half.

We will talk to you about the difficulties you are experiencing, the nature of the attachment relationship between you and your child, the family history of both you and your child and what you would like to change.

To understand further your child's view of themselves and their world we might meet with your child, either to talk with them or to use a play-based assessment.

We may talk in more detail about your early life experiences using questionnaires and structured interviews.

Once we have met with you and developed a joint understanding of the difficulties your family is experiencing we will discuss what we assess is the best way for us to work with you.

Therapeutic interventions

Services for professionals

We offer consultation and a wide range of training to colleagues within and outside of the department.

Contact the team to discuss arranging:

consultation for professionals

training

supervision

service liaison

consultation on considering whether to place siblings together or

apart.

Services for professionals (pdf format, 235Kb)
Education and schools

The ATTACH Team can also provide advice and consultation to schools for children with whom we are involved.

Why do we need to see you as well as your child

We are often asked: Why don't you just work with my child? There are situations where we may work with children and young people individually.

In our team, we think about your child's difficulties both developing in the context of their early relationships and now continuing within their current relationships. We believe you need to work within key relationships to bring about the change you desire, helping your child build safe and trusting attachments that can nurture all aspects of their functioning.

Working within relationships helps a child build security while simultaneously processing past trauma.

Other services we work with

We work with the Children We Care For and Leaving Care social work teams, and the Phoenix Team. We also work closely with CAMHS, the Permanence Support Team, schools, the Virtual School, the SEN Team and the Educational Psychology Service. We may also liaise with other professionals involved, such as occupational therapists or speech and language therapists.

Seeing other services

Families working with us may also be open to CAMHS, the Permanence Support Team, Educational Psychology or integrated services such as Speech and Language, Occupational Therapy and the Communication and Interaction Team. It is helpful for us to know who else you are working with.

It is usually not helpful for your child to be engaging in psychological therapy with different professionals at the same time and we would discuss with you and other professionals how we can fit into the support you are receiving.

Sharing your information

We are part of Oxfordshire social services and store information and documents on our shared secure computer system. We do not share information with outside agencies without your permission unless we are concerned about your safety or someone else's safety.

How long it takes

Our waiting time for appointments is usually around three months from the referral being accepted. Referrals are discussed weekly so we can decide quickly if we are the right service for you and your child.

How long do we work with people?

The length of time varies from person to person depending on the agreed goals and type of work. Work may vary in length from a single consultation to a series of therapeutic sessions over several months. Some parents and carers attend our group programmes, which vary from 6 to 14 sessions.

Working with schools

If your child is experiencing difficulties in education as well as at home we can provide advice and consultation to schools as part of our work with you and your family. Our educational psychologist may also become involved, working closely with the clinician working with you and your child as well as with the school. We do not accept referrals when the concerns are only related to school. In that situation, the school should contact their educational psychologist.

Resources and downloads

Fostering, adoption and special guardians services

Useful information and advice

What survival looks like at home (pdf format, 1.7Mb)

What survival looks like for me (pdf format, 1.7Mb)

Building relationships through storytelling (pdf format, 3.2Mb)

Childnet online safety advice (pdf format, 653Kb)

Online safety advice for adoptive parents (pdf format, 647Kb)

Parents guide to sexual abuse (pdf format, 751Kb)

Self-harm (pdf format, 371Kb)

Adoptive family lifecycle (pdf format)

Attachment strategies (pdf format, 206Kb)

Introduction to video interaction (pdf format, 244Kb)

Parenting tips for the use of rewards (pdf format, 1.7Mb)

Understanding shame and guilt (pdf format, 312Kb)

Resources during the pandemic

Information and resources to help you during the coronavirus pandemic

Books to share with children

Giraffes Can't Dance by Giles Andreae - on individuals all having strengths.

Goodnight Mister Tom by Michelle Magorian - A story about a boy who thrives with a new carer after abuse and neglect.

The Invisible String by Patrice Karst - on separation and love.

Good Days Bad Days (Anholt Family Favourites) Laurence Anholt and Catherine Anholt - on the ups and downs of life.

Not Again, Little Owl by Vivien Norris - on moving placement.

Ruby's Worry by Tom Percival - on anxiety management.

The Boy Who Built a Wall Around Himself by Ali Redford, Plum Stickleberry, Kara Simpson (Illustrations) - a book about children who put barriers up in relationships.

How Hattie Hated Kindness: A Story for Children Locked in Rage of Hate by Margot Sunderland, Nicky Armstrong

Owl Babies by Martin Waddell - on abandonment, secure attachment.

The Colour Monster by Anna Llenas - a book about feelings.

I Wish You More by Amy Krouse Rosenthal - a book of love and encouragement.

The Tracy Beaker Books by Jacqueline Wilson - a book about a girl's experience of being in care (may be enjoyed by older children).

Books for parents, carers and professionals

Creating loving attachments: Parenting with PACE to nurture confidence and security in the troubled child. Kim Golding.

Principles of Attachment-Focused Parenting: Effective strategies to care for children. Dan Hughes.

Attachment, trauma and resilience: Therapeutic caring for children. Kate and Brian Cairns.

Parenting a child with emotional and behavioural difficulties. Dan Hughes.

Everyday parenting with security and love. Kim Golding

The Whole-Brain Child. Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson.

New Families, Old Scripts - A Guide to the Language of Trauma and Attachment in Adoptive Families. Caroline Archer and Christine Gordon.

Inventing Ourselves: The Secret Life of the Teenage Brain. Sarah-Jayne Blakemore.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

Using Stories to Build Bridges with Traumatized Children - Creative Ideas for Therapy, Life Story Work, Direct Work and Parenting. Kim S. Golding.

The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting: Strategies and Solutions. Sarah Naish.

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? Jeanette Winterson.

Helping Your Child with Fears and Worries; 2nd Edition: A self-help guide for parents. Cathy Creswell and Lucy Willetts.

When Adults Hurt Children: Helping Children Heal from Abuse. Marge Eaton Heegaard.

Healing Relational Trauma with Attachment-Focused Interventions: Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy with Children and Families. Daniel A. Hughes, Kim S. Golding and Julie Hudson.

Dealing with Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. Mary Mather.

A Therapeutic Treasure Box for Working with Children and Adolescents with Developmental Trauma: Creative Techniques and Activities (Therapeutic Treasures Collection). Dr Karen Treisman.

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The ATTACH team | Oxfordshire County Council

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Our therapeutic team is made up of clinical psychologists, senior practitioners in social work and an educational psychologist. We work with adoptive, special guardianship and foster care families in Oxfordshire. Our work uses attachment theory to understand the needs of children who have been neglected or abused and who no longer live with their birth parents.

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https://www.victims-first.org.uk/

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Victims First - supporting victims across Berkshire, Buckinghamshire and Oxfordshire

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Support for Victims of Crime in Berkshire, Buckinghamshire and Oxfordshire

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https://www.parentingspecialchildren.co.uk/

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Find out about

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Sam recently attended one of our courses, and shared with us the difference that the course had made to her and her family

Click here to find out more

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Find out about You and your team are a shining light on what would have been a dark path Sam recently attended one of our courses, and shared with us the difference that the course had made to her and her family Click here to find out more Recent News At PSC we're all parents of...

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https://www.supportu.org.uk/

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Your LGBT+ Resource for the Thames Valley - Support U

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LGBT+ resource, support, guidance and helpline in the Thames Valley area specialising in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender issues.

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NEST Neurodivergent Education Support and Training

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NEST Neurodivergent Education Support and Training

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Neurodivergent Education Support and Training

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Neurodivergent Education Support and Training

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Neurodivergent Education Support and Training Support & Advice for families of autistic children and teenagers

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Info Sheet to share with Young People

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Home Office guidance (2014)

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Explore our best practice guidance, toolkits and information to support frontline practitioners and services to effectively respond to domestic abuse.

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Helen Bonnick and Victoria Baker (2021)

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Rachel Condry and Caroline Miles (2020)

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A specialist, innovative and creative therapeutic service for young people, families and adults with a specialist interest in trauma and loss.

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Welcome to Beacon House

Beacon House is a specialist, innovative and creative therapeutic service for young people, families and adults. With a special interest in working with individuals of all ages who have experienced trauma and loss, we are passionate about offering safe and effective therapies in a way that enables people to re-build their lives following stress and adversity. We also take pride in supporting individuals and teams to develop their trauma informed practice through training, supervision and consultation.

Our Cuckfield Clinic periodically closes to new child and adult referrals to prevent long waiting times. Please do get in touch with us to find out if we have spaces currently.

We have some specific capacity for child and family referrals at our Chichester Clinic. Please do get in touch with us to find out if we are able to allocate your referral at this time.

Find out more about us

Our Services

How can Beacon House help you?

Educational Psychology

Get In Touch

Get in touch today to find out more.

We have clinics in Cuckfield and in Chichester.

Please note: We are not able to accept any walk-ins. All meetings are by appointment only. Office hours are: Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm.

To ask any questions, please contact us on admin@beaconhouse.org.uk

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Beacon House | Chartered Clinical Psychologist Trauma Specialist

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National support for parents and professionals with Child and Adolescent to parent Violence and Abuse

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Capa First Response | Together for safer families - Capa First Response

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We want every family to feel safe and no child to feel they have to use aggression and/or harmful behaviours towards a parent or caregiver to communicate

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The National Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder

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The National FASD website is a vital resource for information and support related to Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, offering guidance and support.

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Talking to Your Child about Online Sexual Harassment:  A Guide for Parents

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Talking to Your Child about Online Sexual Harassment:  A Guide for Parents

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Campaigning for change

We fight to change laws to make society safer for children. Our Wild West Web campaign has pushed for new regulations through the Online Safety Bill to make sure websites, apps and games are safe for children to use. But the draft Bill doesn't go far enough to protect children.
Help us end the Wild West Web

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Understanding online safety is tricky for all ages - we have advice and guides to help you learn about staying safe online as a family.

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Supporting Parents and Professionals with Child and Adolescent to Parent Violence and Abuse

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Supporting Parents and Professionals with Child and Adolescent to Parent Violence and Abuse

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A letter from our founder

Dear Parent,

I see you; I know you're there; I know the despair, the hurt and upset you are feeling. I know the feeling of blame, the guilt and the constant searching for answers and reasons. I know the sleepless nights, the worry about keeping your family safe, the struggle of trying to hold down employment. I know the looks and comments you get from family, friends and professionals, the tug you feel in your heart. I know that horrific pain that is running through you. I know how you hate yourself when you have thoughts of asking services for help or even to have your child placed with them. I know the failing you feel and how you are trying to survive each day without incident or trauma. I know you feel so isolated and alone even if you do have support around you. I know you're doing the best you can in a situation where you have nowhere to turn. I know this is not your fault and that you are not to blame.

How do I know this? Because I was you. I was being abused by my child. I had all of those feelings and more. Accepting my child's behaviour was abusive was not easy or something I even wanted to consider, but this was the reality. Things will not always be this tough, things can improve and you as a family will find a safe way that works for you.

Right now, you may feel that nobody understands and that your situation is beyond help or support. I promise you it is not. You are not alone. I hear you. I will listen, help and act alongside you if needed.

PEGS was started to help those going through similar situations of extreme difficulty and worry.

PEGS is here for you, created out of trauma but going forward with love, passion and determination to see change.

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Child to parent abuse | Parental Education Growth Support (PEGS)

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PEGS has been set up to support both parents and professionals deal with the issues associated with child-to-parent abuse. Supporting parents and professionals with child to parent abuse. Learn More

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Jason Stephenson - Guided Sleep Meditation 

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Music to help: migraines, headaches: 1 hour relaxation music

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Shout 85258 is a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone who is struggling to cope.

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Shout 85258 is a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone who is struggling to cope. We launched publicly in May 2019 and we've had more than 750000 conversations with people who are anxious, stressed, depressed, suicidal or overwhelmed and who need immediate support. As a digital service, Shout 85258 has become increasingly critical since Covid-19, being one of the few mental health support services able to operate as normal at this time.

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Shout 85258 is a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone who is struggling to cope. We launched publicly in May 2019 and we've had more than 750000 conversations with people who are anxious, stressed, depressed, suicidal or overwhelmed and who need immediate support.

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We are the UKs leading charity for autistic people and their families. Since 1962, we have been providing support, guidance and advice, as well as campaigning for improved rights, services and opportunities to help create a society that works for autistic people.

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Make a change today! Discover healthy recipes, food swaps, nutritional advice, and top tips and activities to help the whole family stay healthy.

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Marcus Rashford and I are proud and excited to announce the launch of our 'Full Time' campaign, supported by Facebook and Instagram.

Marcus has been doing a phenomenal job in shining a bright light on the nation's child poverty issue and continues to fight for systematic change and Government support. His formation of the Child Food Poverty Taskforce has brought together the biggest players in the British food industry, to stand united in finding a long-term sustainable framework to combat child food poverty across the UK.

This is a cause that is close to my heart. Whilst Marcus are from different generations, we share a lot of similarities in our journey to success. I also grew up in a single parent household on a council estate, my mum worked 2 jobs and, although I never went without food, times were difficult, and money was tight.

It's heart breaking to think that 4.2 million children in the UK are living in poverty, no child should go to bed hungry but today, far too many do. We live in the third largest economy in the world - it's time to call full time on child food poverty.

We couldn't have pulled all this together without the help and support of the entire End Child Food Poverty taskforce who have got stuck in with the project and offered all the resources to make this possible.

Now it's over to you - want to get cooking with us? You won't need a load of ingredients, equipment, or skill. Just head to your local supermarket or corner shop grab the ingredients and cook up some mega tasty meals!
Don't forget to follow @FullTimeMeals

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Marcus Rashford and I are proud and excited to announce the launch of our 'Full Time' campaign, supported by Facebook and Instagram. Marcus has been doing a phenomenal job in shining a bright light on the nation's child poverty issue and continues to fight for systematic change and Government support.

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Busy week? Make our quick and easy family recipes with one-pots, curries, pasta bakes and other simple dishes that kids and adults will love.

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Internet safety advice and resources

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We reach thousands of children every year with Breck's story

Our organisation was founded in 2014 in response to the tragic loss of Breck Bednar, a 14-year-old boy who was groomed and murdered by someone he met online. Our work aims to prevent this from ever happening again. Our work saves lives.

Get involved in a better future

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Breck Foundation helps children and young people reclaim the internet - focused on online grooming, online safety and online exploitation. Together we can reach a future where children are safe online.

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SAM - self-help for Anxiety Management
For Me - from Childline access to help and support on a range of issues.
What's up? - Methods for coping with depression, anxiety, anger and stress.
Headspace - Meditation made simple.
Relax Melodies - sounds to help you sleep.
Grief: Support for Young People - for bereaved young people 11-25, but also for those who want to support them.

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3 tips to boost your confidence - TED-Ed

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Helen Bonnick draws together information and resources on Child to Parent Violence

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Helen Bonnick draws together information and resources on Child to Parent Violence

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I have always welcomed guest posts on this blog, and so it was good to be able to invite Michelle John of PEGS to contribute to our mutual learning and understanding of the issues. Michelle is the Founding Director of PEGS, and has the rare combination of a background in domestic abuse advocacy, lived experience, and the willingness and ability to speak up for her fellow parents. Michelle and her team support hundreds of parents impacted by CPA, alongside delivering impactful training for organisations such as police forces and local authorities, campaigning nationally for policy change, undertaking speaking engagements and raising awareness of the issue.
When it comes to describing abuse directed towards a parent, carer or guardian, there are so many phrases in circulation. While to some extent, what we call the abuse is secondary to the action we are taking to reduce it and support those impacted by the issue, it is important that we use words which don't lead to misconceptions.

When I set up PEGS, myself and my team made the decision to refer to CPA or Child to Parent Abuse. At the time, this was at odds with the definition of 'Adolescent to Parent Violence or Abuse (APVA)' used in Home Office guidance and other professional literature. But the crux of our decision was the potential of shunning the majority of parents if we promoted that our services were for those experiencing APVA. An adolescent is a person aged 13 to 18. By contrast, you are always your parents' child - whether you are 1 or 51. Finding organisations set up to support them, and then taking the leap of actually asking for the help they need, is incredibly difficult for all parents impacted by CPA; with that in mind, we wanted to make sure our language was as inclusive as possible so we didn't put off anyone whose child had either not yet entered their teen years or had already reached adulthood.

The results of our first parental survey - undertaken in November 2020 - back up the general consensus that many cases of CPA start well before the teen years. More than half of our families had started experiencing abusive or violent behaviour when their child was aged 12 or below - and a significant number had children who were just 5 when the CPA began. We're currently mid-way through our second survey so the results haven't yet been collated, but looking at the data from the responses we have so far supports the fact that CPA really is happening within all types of families.

We know that CPA is under-reported (and historically under-researched) so it's really important for all of us involved in campaigning, supporting and/or researching collectively eradicate this perception that the problem is limited to a handful of teenage boys being physically abusive. Both research and anecdotal evidence are beginning to build up a picture of every single type of family being impacted by CPA.

Even if their child is not tall enough or strong enough to physically overpower them, CPA takes many forms and coercion, threats, stealing and many other types of abuse are not restricted by the size or force of the person displaying the behaviours (or the person on the receiving end).

That's why at PEGS, we'll continue to use the term Child to Parent Abuse and encourage others to do so, too.
Many thanks Michelle, for your insights and your support for families. We look forward to further posts from her in the future.
If you would like to contribute anything, whether from your work or experience, learning or practice, please do get in touch!
Government of Catalonia sets up state flat for Spanish teenagers who beat up their parents

I was really interested to see this piece in The Times this morning reporting on the provision in Spain of accommodation for young people using violence within the home.

Despite the framing of the story in the headline, and indeed in the main body of the article, those offered a place will have been convicted within the juvenile justice system, and the 9 - 15 month placement will be "offered" as an alternative to remaining at home under supervision. Such accommodation is intended to provide respite for both parents and teenagers, while they undergo counselling to address their mental health and behaviour. This response to the issue of adolescent to parent violence is typical of the Spanish approach which differs somewhat to that in other countries such as Britain.

Having said that, the question of whether safe accommodation should be made available to young people using violent and abusive behaviour towards their parents in this country is one which has come up in conversation a number of times recently. Removal from the home tends to be viewed as a last resort - frequently meaning that families must reach breaking point before such help can be accessed - and might be through local authority care, hospitalisation or a residential educational placement, or within the youth justice estate if diversion is not applicable. Yet families regularly ask for respite, as a way of meeting the needs of other children, of recharging their own batteries, or indeed as a safety measure because the situation is feeling too dangerous. Who might provide this, how it would be accessed and how it fits into other avenues of help are all interesting questions that must be considered.

The recent research from Condry and Miles into the impact of Covid-19 on the issue of adolescent to parent violence and abuse specifically recommends the establishment of such provision:
4. Provide safe spaces for families at crisis point and respite care for young people Local authorities need to consider the provision of safe spaces for families in crisis. We were told of an example in Brighton where the police are working with the youth offending service to offer a safe space for young people to go during lockdown. Previously they were taking young into custody as there were no safe spaces for them to go for a 'cooling off' period so they have collaborated with the youth offending service and a family support service to offer a safe space for young people to stay while their parents are given support. This kind of innovation is important
at all times, a police cell is not the appropriate place for a child or young person in crisis, but during lockdown when other routes of escape are closed this becomes even more important. As one policy lead said: 'There is a requirement for safe spaces for families in circumstances when the situation begins to escalate beyond parental control. The risk of criminalisation of children due to these circumstances is increased and should be avoided if possible'.
In an ideal situation there would be help provided before the situation feels unmanageable and dangerous, saving further harm to relationships, to health, to future prospects and wellbeing - and indeed to the public purse. As there is greater recognition of the issue of child / adolescent to parent violence and abuse, and as we see moves for a more strategic and joined up response, we must hope that such provision becomes part of the accepted norm in a suite of responses, designed to meet the very specific needs of individual families.

From time to time I receive books for review, particularly where they address the issue of child to parent violence and abuse. Where appropriate, I am pleased to comment on the content and provide comments for review. The new publication from Louise Allen, How to Adopt a Child, Your step-by-step guide to adoption and parenting, was one such book, and I was interested to find out about her comprehensive knowledge and experience of the adoption system. I have attached the review as submitted. You can purchase Louise's book on Amazon (or through your local independent bookshop!) and you can read more about Louise's work on her website.

Louise Allen makes it clear from the very first pages that this is a book with adoptive parents and their children at its heart. She writes from personal experience, laying out every aspect of the adoption process, in order that those thinking about adoption might have no surprises later. Not to put people off - unless that is the right response - but to leave you fully informed, fully armed, fully prepared to offer the support, the healing and love that will be needed. There is much about trauma, which will feature heavily for children who find themselves in need of a home. Allen pulls no punches in describing what this looks and feels like for the child, and the consequential feelings for the adults, but she goes on to offer very practical advice that comes from many years of training, parenting, and above all listening to children. As she says, "Living with a violent child that you have committed to love while everyone around you is offering their opinion is hard, very hard". Allen is here to make it just a little less hard.
One of the hazards of seeing a need and responding to it is the constant need to raise funds to support the work. Grants may be available, but many organisations also adopt innovative and creative means. Family Based Solutions in Enfield come to mind with their Christmas single!

I recently received a request from Jane Griffiths of Capa First Response to highlight her planned sponsored walk - and I am pleased to advertise it here:
SPONSORED WALK TO RAISE AWARENESS OF CHILD TO PARENT ABUSE
Capa First Response CIC (Capa) is an online support resource for families and professionals. Capa works with the whole family, offering support and strategies to look at ways to communicate positively and repair fractured relationships, leading to reduced violence and abuse in the home.

Since setting up in May 2020 Capa has supported over 250 families and professionals seeking support and advice, through our training, supervision, 121's and advice and support sessions.

To raise awareness of this issue and funds to continue the free services we offer, Jane the founder of Capa is completing a virtual sponsored walk.

"The first parent who contacted Capa almost a year ago lived in Powys, Wales and the first professional to contact me was from Kent, that is a distance of 197 miles. I decided I would walk this distance to help raise awareness and funds. I can't physically walk between the two due to restrictions so instead I will be walking around my home county East Sussex. Starting on the 1st May I plan to walk almost 200 miles by the end of the month".

Jane is looking to reach a target of £5,000 which will enable Capa to deliver 50 FREE advice and support sessions and 50 FREE 121 sessions to families.

"It is estimated that up to 3% of families in the UK are impacted by child to parent abuse, the biggest plea I hear from parents is tell me 'I am not alone'.

I set up Capa to support anyone , anywhere impacted by this issue including children, adolescents, parents, carers and professionals unsure of how or were to find help".

You can help by donating what you can at:
https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/jane-griffiths-2
Or walk with Jane.

You can choose to walk a few miles or the whole distance and anything in between, email Capa for information on how you can walk to raise awareness.
info@capauk.org
Your donations can make a huge difference to families lives

'I contacted you in February and you were a saviour, when I needed to nip my daughter's behaviour in the bud before it got worse. I wanted to say thank you and say how much you helped me and how understanding you were. Just those 3 sessions helped me understand how I could help my daughter. It's still working and my daughter is now back in school. Thankyou'.

(Parent accessing advice and support sessions)

'I had an argument with my mum this week, it didn't turn violent though I went to my room and tried to stay away'. (14 yr old accessing 121 support)

For more information about Capa First Response CIC visit
www.capauk.org
March 22, 2021 · 10:31 am

I was interested to read this paper from the Chief Social Workers for England, when it was published at the end of February. A spectrum of opportunity: an exploratory study of social work with autistic young people and their families looks at three things:

how responsive social workers were to the needs of young adults and their families

what barriers there were to enable more effective interventions

how things could be done differently to improve outcomes

I won't go in to detail about the main body of the report - it is straightforward and easy to read, so I recommend it to you. It talks about what works well and what needs to be done better. Unsurprisingly, it points to the importance of the development of specialist knowledge in social workers, joined up work across agencies, and earlier intervention and proactive support to provide help before things go wrong; with the centrality of long-term trusting relationships between families and workers. Sadly, there is mention once again of parents' fears of being labelled as 'bad' or 'failing parents'.

Continue reading

With a hope that we may be starting to see the beginnings of the end of lockdown, we are reminded that we won't be seeing a wholesale return to 'life as we once knew it'; and there are plenty of discussions about what the new normal will look like. So it's not too late to bring you another in the series of learning from lockdown and taking services online! Hopefully there might be something here that is interesting to you, or can help inform the wider changes ...

The team working at Family Based Solutions (FBS) have been delivering support to families experiencing child to parent violence and abuse since they were established (as PAARS) in 2013. As a specialist organisation, they have developed real expertise in this field, but part of their success is that they are able to offer a holistic, wrap around response to families, addressing any and all issues they face and which may be contributing to the break in relationships. Taking advantage of training opportunities, they have now adopted a Solution Focussed approach, which they have found enables families themselves to recognise the way through and to re-establish parental authority and respect.

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February 22, 2021 · 3:21 pm

An odd question for me to be asking perhaps after all this time! I was very struck by the recent paper from Amanda Holt and Sam Lewis talking about the ways that child to parent violence is variously constructed by government and by practitioners, and the implications of this for practice. The starting positions we take, the assumptions we make may well be unconscious, but if it has taught us nothing else, CPV has surely taught us that we need to examine every assumption, challenge every preconception and get ready to believe the apparently impossible! That said, the debate as to where CPV "sits" (not quite domestic abuse, not quite juvenile delinquency, not quite safeguarding) does continue to grind on - albeit very slowly. Continue reading

January 25, 2021 · 9:27 pm

Having spent the last few months thinking about the issues of delivering work to families online, interviewing practitioners ( here and here) and a parent, and reading commentary and reports, I have formed in my head a series of questions, the responses to which seem fundamental to safe and respectful delivery of this particular type of work:

Power. Who is defining the problem, the need, and the appropriate response? What demands are made in terms of compliance and availability? How are solutions negotiated and achieved?

Technology. Access to devices, to broadband, to knowledge and skills.

Space / Time. The possibility of being able to think clearly and speak safely. The possibility of making use of suggestions made within current family life. The possibility of escape.

Monitoring of risk and safety. Awareness of coercive and controlling behaviours and their impact on the ability to monitor this remotely.

Knowledge and skill sets. Including confidence in the issues and in technology, curiosity, creativity.

All of the work I have looked at so far has been designed originally for face-to-face delivery, and then adapted for online work. In contrast, The Kent Adolescent to Parent Violence programme for families with children aged 10-18 experiencing Child and Adolescent to Parent Violence (C/APV), currently being developed and piloted in Kent, has been written almost entirely with online delivery in mind. It was interesting then to see how these questions had been considered and answered. Elaine Simcock, Practice Development Officer within the CYP Directorate talked me through it. Continue reading

Filed under Discussion, projects

Tagged as Adolescent to parent violence, C/APV, child and adolescent to parent violence, child to parent violence and abuse, CPV, Duluth wheel, Non Violent Resistance, NVR, Peter Jakob, Routt and Anderson, teenage brain, Who's in charge

January 14, 2021 · 12:36 pm

Capa First Response, a support and advice organisation helping families and professionals impacted by child to parent abuse, has recently been in talks with a production company to produce a documentary about child to parent violence and abuse.

This project wants to hear from any families willing to share their stories around this issue, in particular any families where the behaviour is now historic and your relationship with your child has improved. We are also looking to speak with families where the behaviour is ongoing and you would be willing to talk about this. The project is not trying to recreate a fly on the wall documentary but look at why this behaviour happens, how it presents itself, the difficulties parents face when it comes to friends, families and authorities.
If you are interested please email Capa UK for more information.

You will be aware that there have been a number of television programmes in recent years which have centred on children's violence towards their parents. Some of these have been more sympathetic than others, largely depending on the aims of the producers and the "story" they have chosen to tell. Understandably there is great reluctance to expose painful and very personal situations in this way, and to potentially create a document that is there to view for the rest of your and your child's life. Sometimes it is possible to remain anonymous, for the producers to use actors or for faces to be pixellated out. Sometimes producers are keen to show "actual families" to make the story "more convincing" - but it also depends on what the story is. I have personally met with researchers who are very aware of the issues and want to make something that is not sensationalist. Sometimes these initial ideas come to nothing, Sometimes they move forward slowly!

I will always advise parents to think very carefully before committing to anything like this. To ensure they have considered all the implications and that they have proper support in place. Nevertheless, it must be an individual decision and so I continue to publicise requests when they land in my in-tray, particularly if they come from people I know and trust.

January 4, 2021 · 10:16 am

Welcome to 2021 as we in Britain face the prospect this week of further restrictions, even as the COVID vaccine becomes available! This time last year many of us would have been very sceptical about delivering services online, or even working from home, yet here we are - struggling with some aspects admittedly, but wondering whether some things work better in fact, and vowing to keep them on in future; and so I bring you the third part in a series looking at issues around taking services for families experiencing CPVA online. The last few months have seen the publication of numerous reports into life and service effectiveness under the pandemic, and I am particularly conscious of recent research highlighting the problem of parent participation in work with children's services around child protection. While different circumstances pertain to work with families experiencing violence from their own children, this has also highlighted issues of power in the relationship with those who use our services, which we do well to remember and attend to in all our plans and delivery.

Back in July and August I spoke with a team delivering the Who's in Charge? Programme online, and with a parent, and remained keen to examine the impact of the changes for those working directly with young people causing harm in the home. This was reinforced for me by the recent HMIP report, highlighting the need for changes in the delivery of support to families experiencing child and adolescent to parent violence, so it was good to be able to speak to a practitioner using the Respect Young People's Programme (RYPP) for IDAS in Yorkshire. Continue reading

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I have always welcomed guest posts on this blog, and so it was good to be able to invite Michelle John of PEGS to contribute to our mutual learning and understanding of the issues.

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The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse - Charlie Mackesy
James and the Giant Peach - Roald Dahl
Harry Potter - J.K. Rowling
The Lamplighters - Emma Stonex
Braving the Wilderness - Brene Brown
The Queen's Gambit - Walter Tevis
The Promise - Damon Galgut

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Feel Better, Live More - Dr Rangan Chatterjee
Sandi Toksvig's Hygge
The Life Scientific - BBC Radio 4
Reasons to Stay Alive - Matt Haig