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I think vulgarity is fine as long is it is in good taste. This my friend is pushing the envelope of tastefulness to indecency.
Luckily I see you as just before the line.

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Go for a more show not tell

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Try more showing, less telling.

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In the first paragraph, I liked how you used the metaphor saying that the air was electric

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i like how they tell why they were so excited

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You should add detail about when you were getting up.

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A couple of the sentences feel like comma-splices in the second paragraph.

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You could probably accomplish the same writing without so much vulgarity.

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You could probably accomplish the same writing without so much vulgarity.

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give more detail about, falling other then that great imagery

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Maybe add more details about when you fell.

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There is a few grammar mistakes and I think it could've been a little longer and more detailed.

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Slow down time a bit more, focus on the feeling of falling,

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great use of imagery. give more detail about f

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I would describe this story in first person since this is a personal experience

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Don't use you so much

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Lots of you's in a personal piece, I'd maybe use more I's and me's.

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Lots of you's in a personal piece, I'd maybe use more I's and me's.

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I would keep the swear words because it gives you a better visual of what was going through your head when you fell down the stairs

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I would keep the swear words because it gives you a better visual of what was going through your head when you fell down the stairs

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I wouldn't use "you" as often

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I think that you should avoid using you and try replacing them by showing and not telling.

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I'd personally take out the swear words, it really undermines the details of your writing.