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Storage for tree climbing, surveying, and digging equipment. Also for camping, food, and water for up to a weeks supply.

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Storage for tree climbing, surveying, and digging equipment. Also for camping, food, and water for up to a weeks supply.

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make a layer of kevlar in the back pack, helps it be slash proof so the harsh trees and other sharp objects cant rip it as easily.

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make a layer of kevlar in the back pack, helps it be slash proof so the harsh trees and other sharp objects cant rip it as easily.

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Fire protection backpack
The name is barley covering what this back pack is although it shows how its fire resistant the name doesn't. Smokey would be better

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Use Kevlar or nomex o create a fire resistant material like plastic for
badkpack

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has water sleeve and built in water container. like a camel back.

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has water sleeve and built in water container. like a camel back.

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Durable, slash proof, water and fireproof, and light weight and comfortable.

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Durable, slash proof, water and fireproof, and light weight and comfortable.

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Our backpack includes built in storage pockets. This backpack is a clean, fire resistant, adjustable pack. It comes with a waterproof pull out layer to keep you and your things safe and dry. It is our new advanced super hero. We've improved so that this supportive luxury you call a back pack, has been put in in simple detail. It has also been made so it has increased its capacity, and being able to hold more things. This is great because it also says comfortable and supportive of your weight. Having such an original pack, we decided to make it effortless, easy,and painless . Made so easy that just anybody can throw it on. Adding on the supportive padded straps helps lift the weight off of your shoulders and making it more form fitting to your body. It's made of soft natural materials to keep you in the best shape we can. The backpack also comes with an absorbing layer of memory foam, so we take your stress away

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Anders,mark. "backpack basics". boys life.

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What are we trying to fix

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This is a fire resistant pack that hold many areas of storage to pack for this journey

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Revise your paragraph in the following ways:

Word choice selection needs improvement (wider variety of general vocab--not so repetitive)

More transitions, overall flow, and clarity