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Joy Kirr curated this amazing live binder full of resources for teachers.

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Feeling down and out? You can't do it ALL? You're human. Step back. Breathe.

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An evidence-based approach to supporting the mental health and wellbeing of children in the classroom, school and home environments. Choose the implementation option to suit your school.

For a limited time, Australian primary schools can apply for a funded place and receive the Primary School Program at no direct cost to the school.

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If you'd like to support our work, you can make a donation. Every contribution, however large or small makes a difference and we're so grateful for your support.

The Australian Mental Wellbeing Index provides a snapshot insight into the everyday mental wellbeing of Australia. It explores the factors that contribute to mental wellbeing and aims to generate a national conversation about how Australians can take a proactive approach to support mental wellbeing.

We've recently released the second annual report exploring the data collected across 2022-2023. The latest report shows young Australians aged 18-24, are experiencing poorer mental wellbeing than older age groups and poorer levels of focus and concentration may be a key driver of this.

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Smiling Mind is a non-for-profit web and app-based meditation program developed by psychologists and educators to help bring mindfulness into your life.

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Today I am excited to team up with the lovely Leonie MacDonald of Relax Kids Canberra to bring you part four of the Managing Big Emotions printable poster series (you can find all of the other posters in the series in our Feelings & Emotions resource collection) - this newest addition is a simple breathing exercise that is super awesome for kids as it can be performed discretely and literally used anywhere.

When we are stressed or upset nature's 'fight or flight' response takes over - increasing our heart rate, making our breathing fast and shallow, and sending blood from our brain out to our limbs ready to escape or challenge the perceived threat or danger. While stress hormones are flooding our bodies and we are gripped by this programmed response it is very hard to slow down, become calm, express our feelings or think rationally about what is happening to us and how we are responding. Our thought processes and self-control are actually hindered by our biological stress response.

When stressed, children may experience an additional layer of fear or distress as they feel out of control and overwhelmed, not understanding what is happening to them or why. As adults, we are more aware of our feelings and of the physiological changes that come with these, but even we may have a hard time managing our own behaviour.

This Take 5 Breathing Exercise is a wonderful way to switch off the stress response. It brings the body back into balance, slowing and deepening the breath and slowing down the heart rate, while harnessing the need to move with an action that requires focus and provides sensory feedback to our brains. Best of all, Take 5 Breathing is simple, enjoyable, free, and you can use it anywhere, anytime.

Be sure to also check out our brand new Social Emotional Learning Journal - perfect for encouraging students to creatively explore a wide range of emotions; and develop emotional awareness and relationship building skills.

What is Take 5 Breathing?
During take 5 breathing, children concentrate on taking five slow breaths in through their nose and out through their mouths. Children may need to practice this first as they may be mouth breathing. If you notice that your child finds breathing through their nose a challenge, invite them to imagine they are smelling a beautiful flower or their favourite food as they breathe in, and then to breathe out with a big sigh. (Breathing in and smelling a beautiful smell and breathing out with a sigh because it smelt so good.) At the same time as breathing, children will focus on the action of tracing up and down the fingers of one hand and the gentle sensations this creates. Here is how it works:

Five Steps to Feeling Calm (use this as a guide to teach your child)

1. Spread your hand and stretch your fingers out like a star. You can choose your left hand or your right hand. Pretend the pointer finger of your other hand is a pencil and imagine you are going to trace around the outline of your hand and fingers.

2. Start at the bottom of your thumb and slide your finger up your thumb, pause at the top, and then slide your finger down the other side. Now slide your pointer up your second finger, pause, and slide down the other side. Continue tracing your fingers up, pause, and down. Slide your finger slowly, watch your finger move and notice how it feels. Keep going until you have finished tracing your fifth finger (pinky).

3. Now you are ready to add some breathing. Breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth. Remember to keep it slow and steady.

4. Place your pointer finger at the bottom of your thumb, and breathe in as you slide up. Breathe out as you slide down. Breathe in as you slide up your second finger, and breathe out as you slide down. Keep going until you have finished tracing your fingers and you have taken five slow breaths.

5. How does your body feel now? Do you feel calm or would you like to take another five?

Most children find the sensory aspect of this breathing method very soothing and settling. You can see a demonstration of the technique here:

If your child dislikes the sensation of sliding their finger up and down their hand try one of these adaptations;

Trace an outline of their hand on a piece of card and they can trace their finger along the outline. You can create a textured outline or cut out the shape if this works better.

An alternative that involves no touching is to stretch their fingers out like candles on a cake and slowly blow each candle out and tuck the finger into the palm.

Practising Take 5 Breathing
The best time to practise the Take 5 Breathing Exercise, or any calm down method, is when everyone is happy and no one feels stressed. Children find it hard to learn or use these techniques when they are already overwhelmed by big feelings (so do adults!) and it is important that we don't force, push or demand that children use a calm down method. The last thing our children need is pressure to succeed at relaxing! Letting a poster or picture act as a reminder rather than verbally telling our children what to do when they are feeling overcome with emotion and stress can be more effective.

Helping Your Children Process Their Emotions Once They Are Calm
While Take 5 Breathing addresses the stress response, our children need to know that their big feelings are important and we do want to hear what is going on for them. There is a difference clamping up and shutting our feelings away and calming down so that we can talk about our feelings and express them in a safe way. If children feel angry, hurt or worried, their feelings will probably still be there once they have calmed down. That makes it the perfect time to connect, reassure and listen to your children.

How To Print Your Take 5 Breathing Exercise Poster

Click here to download: Take 5 Breathing Exercise for Kids. Save the PDF to your computer. Open the PDF and print the page you require. When printing, select "Fit to printable area" (or similar) to ensure the page fits with your printer type and local paper size (this has been created at A4 size). I suggest printing onto card stock or matte photo paper. Laminate the printed poster for durability.

Having trouble accessing or downloading the file? Please try a different internet browser.
Please note: All Childhood 101 printables are for personal use only, you may not use any part of this content for commercial purposes-that includes selling the document, giving it away to promote your business or website, or printing the file to sell. You may not share, loan or redistribute these documents. Teachers may use multiple copies for students in their own classroom.

About Leonie: Leonie MacDonald is a qualified primary teacher, a Relax Kids coach and mother of two boys aged 9 and 6. She lives with her family in Canberra. Leonie loves cooking, growing her own food with occasional success, knitting, craft, making gifts, reading and meditation.

While mothering a sensitive, easily over stimulated and overwhelmed toddler, Leonie realised that the same relaxation and meditation techniques she had learnt in pregnancy could help children to cope with stress and unwind. So she began to create her own simple bedtime meditations and massage to help her children fall asleep. During this time Leonie discovered Relax Kids products and began to use these to bring calm into her home. Massage and meditation helped Leonie to gently wean both her children and continues to help them to relax and unwind. Connect with Leonie via the Relax Kids Canberra Facebook page.

If you haven't yet, print each of the first three posters in the series by clicking on each image below

Christie Burnett is an early childhood teacher, presenter, writer and the editor of Childhood 101. More importantly, she is a Mum who believes wholeheartedly in the value of children learning through play, the importance of quality early education, and the togetherness of family.

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Take 5 Breathing Exercise for Kids: Learn to Manage Big Emotions

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Today I am excited to team up with the lovely Leonie MacDonald of Relax Kids Canberra to bring you part four of the Managing Big Emotions printable poster series (you can find all of the other posters in the series in our Feelings & Emotions resource collection) - this newest addition is a simple breathing exercise that is super awesome for kids as it can be performed discretely and literally used anywhere.

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collection of Motoi Sadakane and Copilot inc., looking at something .com by rafaël rozendaal, 2013

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LOOKING AT SOMETHING .COM BY RAFAEL ROZENDAAL - 2013 - WWW.NEWRAFAEL.COM, COLLECTION OF MOTOI SADAKANE AND COPILOT INC., CODE BY REINIER FEIJEN - WWW.BOXOFCHOCOLATES.NL

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Neonflames is a tool to draw your own nebula!

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Send Feedback

To save, right click the thumbnail and choose Save Image As....

Drag colors to blend.

Press Space to start anew.

Press Z to undo.

Try different colors and symmetries.

Sally forth, you weaver of wonder, sower of silken waves.

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A few things before you begin.\n\n > >\n\n >First, this game is run entirely in JavaScript in your browser. So whatever you think, whatever you type, when you close your window, it goes away. >\n\nNo one will ever see it but you. >\n\nAll site analytics have been removed from this page.

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I will be sharing videos focused on education. All views are my own and when applicable I will cite sources. I LOVE to continue the conversation as it helps ...

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Asking for Forgiveness Gracefully

Scott has just arrived at his staff meeting, and he can tell that his boss, Catherine, is stressed. He ignores the tension in the room, and launches into his carefully researched presentation.

After a few minutes, however, Catherine picks up on a tiny error and begins to berate Scott. She accuses him, and the rest of the team, of not pulling their weight. Her hurtful words embarrass Scott, and he leaves the meeting early because he's so upset.

As the days pass, Scott expects Catherine to apologize for her behavior. However, the apology never comes, and their relationship becomes strained, resentful, and unproductive. A few months later, Scott takes a position in another department.

In this situation, Catherine could have healed her relationship with Scott with a sincere apology after the meeting. But, instead, she lost a talented team member.

Click here to view a transcript of this video.

In this article, we'll see why apologies are so important, and we'll look at how to apologize with sincerity and grace when you've made a mistake.

What Is an Apology?

An apology is a statement that has two key elements:

1. It shows your remorse over your actions.

2. It acknowledges the hurt that your actions have caused to someone else.

We all need to learn how to apologize - after all, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, and we all have the capability to hurt people through our behaviors and actions, whether these are intentional or not.

It isn't always easy to apologize, but it's the most effective way to restore trust and balance in a relationship, when you've done something wrong.

Why Apologize?

There are many reasons why you should make a sincere apology when you've hurt someone unnecessarily, or have made a mistake.

First, an apology opens a dialogue between yourself and the other person. Your willingness to admit your mistake can give the other person the opportunity he needs to communicate with you, and start dealing with his feelings.

When you apologize, you also acknowledge that you engaged in unacceptable behavior. This helps you rebuild trust and reestablish your relationship with the other person. It also gives you a chance to discuss what is and isn't acceptable.

What's more, when you admit that the situation was your fault, you restore dignity to the person you hurt. This can begin the healing process, and it can ensure that she doesn't unjustly blame herself for what happened.

Last, a sincere apology shows that you're taking responsibility for your actions. This can strengthen your self-confidence, self-respect, and reputation. You're also likely to feel a sense of relief when you come clean about your actions, and it's one of the best ways to restore your integrity in the eyes of others.

Consequences of Not Apologizing

What are the consequences if you don't apologize when you've made a mistake?

First, you will damage your relationships with colleagues, clients, friends, or family. It can harm your reputation, limit your career opportunities, and lower your effectiveness - and, others may not want to work with you.

It also negatively affects your team when you don't apologize. No one wants to work for a boss who can't own up to his mistakes, and who doesn't apologize for them. The animosity, tension, and pain that comes with this can create a toxic work environment.

Why Apologies Are Difficult

With all these negative consequences, why do some people still refuse to apologize?

First, apologies take courage. When you admit that you were wrong, it puts you in a vulnerable position, which can open you up to attack or blame. Some people struggle to show this courage.

Alternatively, you may be so full of shame and embarrassment over your actions that you can't bring yourself to face the other person.

Or, you may be following the advice "never apologize, never explain." It's up to you if you want to be this arrogant, but, if you do, don't expect to be seen as a wise or an inspiring leader.

How to Apologize Appropriately

In an article in the Journal of Psycholinguistic Research, psychologists Steven Scher and John Darley present a four-step framework that you can use when you make an apology.

Let's look at each step, below.

Step 1: Express Remorse

Every apology needs to start with two magic words: "I'm sorry," or "I apologize." This is essential because these words express remorse over your actions.

For example, you could say: "I'm sorry that I snapped at you yesterday. I feel embarrassed and ashamed by the way I acted."

Your words need to be sincere and authentic. Be honest with yourself, and with the other person, about why you want to apologize. Never make an apology when you have ulterior motives, or if you see it as a means to an end.

Timeliness is also important here. Apologize as soon as you realize that you've wronged someone else.

Step 2: Admit Responsibility

Next, admit responsibility for your actions or behavior, and acknowledge what you did.

Here, you need to empathize with the person you wronged, and demonstrate that you understand how you made her feel.

Don't make assumptions - instead, simply try to put yourself in that person's shoes and imagine how she felt.

For example: "I know that I hurt your feelings yesterday when I snapped at you. I'm sure this embarrassed you, especially since everyone else on the team was there. I was wrong to treat you like that."

Step 3: Make Amends

When you make amends, you take action to make the situation right.

Here are two examples:

"If there's anything that I can do to make this up to you, please just ask."

"I realize that I was wrong to doubt your ability to chair our staff meeting. I'd like you to lead the team through tomorrow's meeting to demonstrate your skills."

Think carefully about this step. Token gestures or empty promises will do more harm than good. Because you feel guilty, you might also be tempted to give more than what's appropriate - so be proportionate in what you offer.

Step 4: Promise That It Won't Happen Again

Your last step is to explain that you won't repeat the action or behavior.

This step is important because you reassure the other person that you're going to change your behavior. This helps you rebuild trust and repair the relationship.

You could say: "From now on, I'm going to manage my stress better, so that I don't snap at you and the rest of the team. And, I want you to call me out if I do this again."

Make sure that you honor this commitment in the days or weeks to come - if you promise to change your behavior, but don't follow through, others will question your reputation and your trustworthiness.

Tip:

If you're concerned that your words won't come out right when you apologize, write down what you want to say, and then role-play the conversation with a trusted friend or colleague. However, don't practice so much that your apology sounds rehearsed.

Further Strategies for Effective Apologies

In addition to the four steps above, keep the following in mind when you apologize.

Don't Offer Excuses

During an apology, many people are tempted to explain their actions. This can be helpful, but explanations can often serve as excuses, and these can weaken your apology. Don't shift part of the blame onto someone or something else in an attempt to reduce responsibility.

Here is an example of using excuses in an apology: "I'm sorry that I snapped at you when you came into my office yesterday. I had a lot on my plate, and my boss demanded my project report an hour earlier than planned." In this case, you excuse your behavior because of stress, and you imply that the other person was at fault because he bothered you on a busy day. This makes you look weak.

A better approach is to say, "I'm sorry I snapped at you yesterday." This is short and heartfelt, and it offers no excuses for your behavior.

Tip:

Make sure that you are fair to yourself when you make an apology. There is a fine balance between taking full responsibility and taking responsibility for too much.

Don't Expect Instant Forgiveness

Keep in mind that the other person might not be ready to forgive you for what happened. Give that person time to heal, and don't rush her through the process.

For example, after you make your apology, you could say, "I know that you might not be ready to forgive me, and I understand how that feels. I simply wanted to say how sorry I am. I'll give you plenty of time to see that I'm changing my behavior."

Be Aware of Legal Ramifications

Bear in mind that the law in some countries and regions may interpret an apology as an admission of liability or guilt.

Before you apologize on behalf of your organization, you may want to speak with your boss, or get further advice from a legal professional. However, don't use this as an excuse not to apologize, unless the risk is significant.

Tip 1:

Be gracious and fair when you receive an apology. If you respond with aggression or self-righteousness, you may lose the respect of the person who apologized, as well as the respect of the people around you.

Tip 2:

Don't demand an apology from someone else. They may well refuse, and you can easily end up in an angry, unproductive standoff.

Key Points

An apology is a statement of remorse that you make when you've done something wrong. It can be difficult to apologize, but it can do a lot to heal relationships and rebuild trust.

Follow these steps when you make an apology:

1. Express remorse.

2. Admit responsibility.

3. Make amends.

4. Promise that it won't happen again.

Don't offer excuses when you apologize. Otherwise, you'll sound as if you're trying to shift blame away from yourself and on to someone or something else.

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How to Apologize: - Asking for Forgiveness Gracefully

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Asking for Forgiveness Gracefully Scott has just arrived at his staff meeting, and he can tell that his boss, Catherine, is stressed. He ignores the tension in the room, and launches into his carefully researched presentation. After a few minutes, however, Catherine picks up on a tiny error and begins to berate Scott.

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An anxious mind is a strong, powerful mind, as anyone who has tried to rationalise themselves out of anxiety will tell you. An anxious mind can outrun, outpower and outwit rationality and logic any day of the week. What if you could harness the strength and power of that fiercely protective mind and use it to work for you instead of against you?

Anxiety exists on a spectrum and we all experience it at some level. We wouldn't be human if we didn't. Anxiety is a very normal response from a strong, healthy brain that thinks there might be trouble about, and instantly responds by making us stronger, faster, more powerful, more alert versions of ourselves.

Like any good thing though, too much is too much. When the brain is oversensitive to threat, it puts us on high alert even when there is no need to be. This is when anxiety becomes intrusive and hard to live with. It turns from the gentle security guard who shows up when needed, to the crasher who steals the joy, tells stories about nameless dangerous things, and cozies up beside you so close it's hard to breathe, think and be.

Why is anxiety so powerful?

Anxiety is instinctive and automatic. It's been practising its moves for thousands of years. That's the thing about evolution - sometimes it works for us, sometimes it makes us vulnerable to anxiety.

Anxiety was never meant to get in our way, but rather, to get us out of t he way of danger. The part of the brain that drives anxiety thinks it's doing the right thing. The more we fight it, the harder it will work to convince us that there's danger and that we need to act.

So if fighting an anxious mind doesn't work, what then?

We know that an anxious mind is a strong, powerful mind. What if we could harness the strength and power of that fiercely protective mind and use it to work for us instead of against us? As strong as a mind can be in its experience of anxiety, it can be equally strong in calming it. Anxiety might still show up, but rather than appearing as the wolf at the door and sending your fiercely protective brain into a panic, it can be greeted more in the way of, 'Oh hey there - I know you. Take a seat over there.'

We know that over time, mindfulness works to build and strengthen a brain against anxiety, but there are aspects of mindfulness that can be used in the midst of anxiety to find calm. With practice, they can be called on at will to turn down the volume on anxious thoughts and feelings, and any other symptoms that anxiety tends to keep company with.

But go gently ...

Changing mindset involves small, repeated steps. Each step builds on the one before it, and this takes time. That's okay though - there's no hurry. Remember, your mind has been doing what it's doing for a while and it will take a while to unlearn its habits.

Those habits have had a good reason for being there. Anxious thoughts and anxious feelings keep us alive. They put us on standby to deal with anything that gets in the way. It's going to take some convincing to show them that actually, the only thing getting in the way, are them.

Don't try to do all of these strategies at once. Trying to keep a hold of so many different things will make your mind do the equivalent of throwing its hands in the air and walking away. Instead, choose one at a time and do it for a short while at a time. Small steps, but important ones. If you try to do them all at once, there is the risk of it feeling too hard. When things feel difficult, it is normal to run back to what's familiar. The way around this is to go gently. Here's how ...

Dealing with Anxiety - Using the power of an anxious mind.

Anxiety is the power of the mind against the mind. That power is your greatest asset - and it's an exceptional one. Now to claim it back so you can use it in a way that will build and strengthen you.

1. Every time you do this, you will be strengthening your ability to pull back from the anxious thoughts that steal you away from the safety and security of where you are. Try to get into a regular practice each day, for however long you can - two minutes, five minutes, ten minutes - it doesn't matter. There's no right amount, but the longer the better. The main thing is to keep doing it. The brain strengthens and rewires with experience, and this is an experience that is so strengthening and healthy, your brain will love for it.
Try: 'Right now, I'm here and I'm safe. I see the sky. I feel the breeze against my skin. I hear my footsteps'

2. Try: 'An anxious thought. That's okay - you'll leave when you're ready.'

3. Be an observer. Watch your thoughts and feelings without engaging with them.

Anxiety has a way of drawing you in and making you engage with every anxious thought that comes in thinking distance of you. It's exhausting! Experiment with standing back and watching your thoughts as an observer, knowing that when they are ready, they will pass. Sometimes we need to engage with thoughts and feelings, and sometimes we need to stand back and wait for them move on. Try imagining your thoughts and feelings as a bubble, and then watch them float by.
Try: 'A feeling about going to the interview. Interesting.''There's a thought about what might happen if it rains on the holiday. Look at that. Didn't know that was there.'

4. Trust your anxiety. Know that it won't hurt you.
Try: 'My heart feels as though it is pounding through my chest. This is anxiety. It's not a symptom of something bigger. I'm safe.'

5. Trust yourself. You are strong. You are resourceful. You will cope. You always have.

Trust that whatever happens, you can deal with it - because you can, you absolutely can. This might not feel real for you at first, and that's okay. Go with it and see what the experience has to give you. This is a learning process and it will take time. Underlying all worry, anxiety and stress is fear that we won't be able to cope. Fear of failure, for example isn't fear of the failure but fear that you won't cope with the failure. Ditto for rejection, making a wrong decision - anything. You will cope. You've proven it over and over. See what happens when you move towards trusting that. If it doesn't feel real, pretend until it does. From the outside it will look the same anyway.
Try: 'Whatever happens, I will cope. I always have.'

6. It's paradoxical, but sometimes, the more we try to change something the more energy we give it, and the more it stays the same. (Keep telling yourself not to think of pink gorillas. Try really hard not to think of them. Keep telling yourself to stop thinking of pink gorillas. See how that works?) Anxious thoughts take up a lot of precious head space. They draw on our feelings, focus, thoughts and imagination. The more we try to make sense of them and control them, the more they feed into anxiety. Instead, experiment with being with your anxiety as it is, without needing to change it. Acceptance doesn't make a feeling stronger or more enduring. It stops giving it energy.

What you focus on is what becomes powerful. The more you focus on something, the more it flourishes and expands.Try to be with your anxiety without pushing against it. Don't force it to go or to be different than it is. This will let you understand your anxiety more, which will bring it out of the dark and into a space in which you can deal with it.

This isn't easy, but it's powerful. Try it in little bits and work up from there. Start with letting your feelings be as they are for two minutes, or however long feels okay for you. Sit with them, without needing them to be different. Then if you want to, after that you can give them your attention and try to turn them into something else. When you can, let them be as they are again. See how this feels, then when you're ready, work up to longer.

Try: 'I am having a worried thought. My hands are clammy. My mouth is dry. This is anxiety]. And that's okay.'

7. Clear your filter.

Messages and experiences from the past have a way of changing the filter through which we look at the rest of the world. This is the way it works for all of us - anxiety or no anxiety.

Try to approach experiences and moments as though you are experiencing them for the first time. Even if you have been in many similar situations before, none of them will be exactly like this one. Notice the differences between what is and what has been. With every experience, you are changed somehow - wiser, braver, stronger, more capable, sometimes more anxious, more worried, more fearful. Be open to the new possibilities that can come from this new experience, because that's what it is - a new experience.

For example, if you have had a painful breakup, there might be a tendency to hold back from loving wholeheartedly again. New people and new relationships might feel risky. This is completely understandable, and staying away is a move that will keep you safe, but it will close down the possibilities and promise that are waiting for you to find them. Growth happens when we open ourselves up to 'what is', rather than letting new experiences be coloured by 'what has been'.
Try: 'This is a brand new experience. I'm open to discovering what will unfold for me here.''This reminds me of all the times I've had to meet new people. These people are different. I'm different. This experience is different.'

8. Surrender. Let go of the need for certainty, even if it's just for a moment.

The future is always uncertain, so anxiety has a pretty easy time of causing a stir. Not everything will go to plan and that's okay, but the more we try to control things, the more we tend to realise how little control we have. This will feel uncomfortable at first, so start with surrendering to the uncertainty for a small amount of time. Experiment with letting go of needing to control the moment, the future, the past, or the people around you. The more you are able to lean in to your uncertainty and tolerate it, the less power it will have over you.
Try: 'I don't know what will happen if I have to change plans. And that's okay.'

And finally ...

Think of these strategies like drops in a bucket. The first time you try them, you might not notice much. Same with the second time, and the third time. Eventually though, the more you experiment with them and the more you use them, the more capacity you will have to harness the strength of your wild and beautiful mind and make it work more in your favour. You will learn that you will always have what it takes and that anxiety is a feeling that comes and then it will go, just like a bad weather day. You're a fighter - you've been fighting anxiety and winning for a while now. You're strong, brave and resilient and you have everything you need inside you to deal with anything that might stand in your way.

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Dealing with Anxiety: Using the Strength of an Anxious Mind to Calm Anxiety -

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An anxious mind is a strong, powerful mind, as anyone who has tried to rationalise themselves out of anxiety will tell you. An anxious mind can outrun, outpower and outwit rationality and logic any day of the week.

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Anxious? Dizzy? Heart racing? You could be having a panic (anxiety) attack. Get practical tips on how to cope.

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Frequently on the Internet I see various articles for sufferers of anxiety or panic disorders about how to deal with anxiety or panic attacks while they're happening. What I see less often is articles with information for friends and family of a sufferer on how to help them. It's certainly shouldn't be anyone else's responsibility to fix the problem because that can only truly be done by the person who's experiencing the anxiety. But the easiest way for a person to overcome anxiety or panic is having someone they are completely comfortable with around them - someone that can assure them everything is going to be okay.

I've been fortunate enough to clear up a lot of my issues thanks to these points and additional lifestyle changes like diet and exercise. Based on my experience talking with others, many people can relate, but I still write based on my own past experience.

Do

Do remind the person having a panic attack that they are in no way obligated to stay where they are. They can leave if they are panicking about something or feel uncomfortable. Offer them a ride home if necessary after observing the person's current mental capacity. Absolutely don't pressure them to do something they don't want to do.

Do assure them there is nothing to be afraid of. Someone experiencing a panic attack will probably find it a lot harder to rationalize the fact that there's no real reason to be panicking, that's the sad truth. Remind them they are completely safe and that you are there to help them through this.

Do let them know that it's only temporary. Panic attacks don't and will never last forever. Despite the terrible mental state the sufferer might be in, it's comforting to know that it will go away soon.

Do encourage them to breathe. Breathing is particularly difficult during a panic attack and someone experiencing it could forget to breathe properly. Tell them to take a deep breath in for four seconds, then let it out for four seconds and repeat. Breathing helps, but it only helps when done correctly.

Do attempt to have an engaging conversation with them. Chances are if you're a friend, you know what piques the person's interest. Try to casually bring the topic up. Don't bombard the person in a panic attack with a lengthy conversation as this could be overwhelming, but try to slowly capture their interest and lure them away from the feeling of panic.

Do stay with them. If the person panicking wants you to leave, it's most likely the anxiety talking. More often than not, a panic attack only gets worse if the person is left alone to suffer through their own thoughts. Stay by their side no matter what.

Don't

Don't let denial fool you. No matter how comfortable I am around a person, if they ask if everything's okay when they accurately sense something is not, I assure them everything is fine. I imagine many people do the same. Don't let this fool you. If the symptoms of a panic attack are apparent, treat the situation as such.

Don't tell them to calm down or relax. There's a huge chance this will only make the anxiety worse. It's not as simple as being able to "calm down" or "relax" so don't suggest it.

Don't ask why they're panicking. The sufferer probably knows just as much as you do in that moment.

Don't brush it off. You might be in the company of someone who is on their 37th panic attack this year alone. Don't think that by now they're used to it. Every panic attack is every bit as traumatizing as the previous one. Certainly don't brush off or ignore any panic attack, no matter what the circumstances are.

Don't bullshit. "Look over there at that bird!" "Stare at me for 10 seconds." "Close your eyes and picture a nice glowing star." No, no, and no. Don't bullshit someone while they're in a panic attack. None of that works and you know it. The person panicking will be fully aware that you're trying to distract them temporarily from the panic, which won't help at all.

Don't seem irritated or judgmental. This sounds obvious, but it's important. One of my biggest fears is that when I'm having a panic attack, I'm inconveniencing people or people are judging me because they don't understand what the problem is. Even if you are somewhat annoyed, maintain composure and keep in mind that you are nowhere near as annoyed as the person actually experiencing the panic attack is.

It's immensely important that someone having a panic attack or even just regular anxiety is able to surround himself or herself with people they're completely comfortable with. Trust me, that alone helps dramatically.

As the friend or family member, you may not even understand how much you're helping someone with anxiety when you say something as small as "It's okay, you aren't trapped." The small act of helpfulness can work wonders, so never underestimate yourself.

Additional Information

Understanding Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Now that you know the dos and don'ts of handling someone going through a panic attack, you might actually want to know what a panic attack is. First of all, anxiety is typically an irrational fear over something or someone. This is not to be confused with nervousness - what most people experience in normal situations. Nervousness and anxiety can both cause similar symptoms, but normal nervousness such as how one feels before making a big presentation or applying for a job differs from anxiety in that it's rational.

People, like myself, who suffer from anxiety disorders exhibit anxiety or "nervousness" from actions as simple as leaving home or being in a noisy or crowded area, for example. Much of it is post-traumatic as well. Certain plans I make with certain people will trigger anxiety that can last for up to 24 hours or longer. After having my spontaneous panic attack in the middle of a movie at a theater for no reason, I developed anxiety going to movie theaters for several months before I finally decided I needed to face the fear head-on. Very little about anxiety is rational, especially the thoughts that enter through the person's head during the anxiety. It's extremely irrational and in many cases the person knows how irrational it is but it still remains out of their control.

Panic attacks are short bursts of heightened anxiety that can often come out of nowhere. While they can only last for up to around 25 minutes or as little as 5 minutes, they can come and go in a continuous loop until whatever is causing them is resolved. This is particularly difficult and scary when the person isn't aware of what's causing them to panic in the first place.

Symptoms of Panic Attacks

Picture this: you're asleep at night when suddenly you wake up to the sound of someone breaking into your house. What do you do? You panic, like every sane human being would. You start to sweat, you breathe heavily or struggle to breathe, you feel nauseous, your heart races, there's a heavy pressure in your chest, so on and so forth.

Now picture something else: all of those symptoms happening when you aren't actually in any danger. No one is breaking into your house. Nothing is about to harm you or is currently harming you. Your body suddenly just starts to panic anyway. That is a panic attack.

Symptoms of panic attacks, particularly mine, include:

Breaking out in a cold sweat

Heavy breathing or inability to breathe properly, resulting in cut-off words or sentences if one attempts to speak

Heavy pressure in the chest area

Fast-beating heart

Nausea and/or the need to use the bathroom promptly

The seemingly uncontrollable feeling of being trapped, paralyzed, suffocated, and/or terrorized in any way

Educate Others

Being that this is an issue especially important to me, I think it's important that everyone knows how to help someone who is going through a panic attack because it's truly a terrifying experience. Given that 18% of Americans are estimated to have an anxiety disorder, there's a decent chance you know someone who has one. Please share this article to increase awareness and understanding. Thank you so much for your cooperation and for getting all the way to the bottom of this article. Your passion to help will never go unnoticed or unappreciated.

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How to Handle Someone Else's Anxiety or Panic Attacks

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Frequently on the Internet I see various articles for sufferers of anxiety or panic disorders about how to deal with anxiety or panic attacks while they're happening. What I see less often is articles with information for friends and family of a sufferer on how to help them.

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Calm is the #1 app for sleep and meditation. Join the millions experiencing better sleep, lower stress, and less anxiety.

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Elizabeth Merce is a member of the #4ocfpln and awesome at strategies for SEL. She does a daily periscope that is a must see.

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Elizabeth Merce (@EMercedLearning). Kindergarten Teacher, Educational Consultant, Community College Instructor, and all around education enthusiast looking for collaborators.

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I just did nothing for 2 minutes. Can you?