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Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude

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Oxytocin is a hormone produced primarily in the hypothalamus and acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain. It plays a huge role in the female reproduction system during child birth and with lactation. But, the hormone is best known as the "love hormone" because of how it increases with touch and stimulation. This powerful hormone plays a huge role in relationships and how we partner up with others.

Here are 10 ways to increase oxytocin levels in your body:
Related article: 10 Reasons To Have Sex Daily
1. Physical touch.

Hugs, kisses, and cuddling increase oxytocin levels quickly. As per WebMd a research on oxytocin and how men react to sex showed that under the influence of oxytocin, two areas of the brain responsible for feelings of reward and pleasure lit up when men saw their partner's faces. But the sight of other women had the opposite effect, suppressing feelings of pleasure. Oxytocin triggers a reward system that activates and releases when we are in loving relationships. Physical touch is stimulating. Oxytocin is released when you have an orgasm and for men it is only released when it is with someone they love.

2. Words of encouragement.

When we hear a compliment we feel good about ourselves. We believe we are being loved and held in high esteem. Oxytocin works on this level as well. The "feel good" hormone increases when we are caring and compassionate with another, or vice versa. Words have a powerful frequency. When we feel loved and we relate to it oxytocin increases. The same goes to giving a compliment to another. The kindness you put out into the world also increases oxytocin.

3. Listen.

Everyone wants to feel acknowledged. We all want to know that we are being heard and accepted. Listening is an amazing way to increase oxytocin. When you are present with another you can feel the connection. Listen attentively. Put the phone down. Close the computer. Make time to be one-on-one with another. You will find a sense of reward that is priceless. Also, listening to music or something we enjoy releases dosages of the little hormone as well.

4. Smile and laugh.

Have you observed how kids play? They smile and laugh a lot. Whenever they are in that moment, they are releasing oxytocin. Smiling is contagious. It's one of those things that you cannot help but return to another when it is geared at you. Research has shown that laughter and smiling improve health through many physiological changes. Most of the time it happens unconsciously. Happy people live for joyous moments. Their oxytocin is constantly being released. Laughter creates a sense of joy that is the biggest trade off in life.

5. Meditate and pray.

When you are clear-headed and relaxed your hormones are balance. Oxytocin increases when you are not under the fight or flight mode. Prayer and meditation allow the mind to detach from stress. It lowers blood pressure and allows the body to feel balanced. Mind, body and spirit find a way to connect. Make time for it at some point in the day. You can do it for five minutes anywhere.

6. Exercise.

Endorphins and oxytocin increase when we exercise. Oxygen travels to the brain and to other parts of our bodies. Exercise is not just for keeping your body in tact and functioning properly. The amount of hormones released to the brain are also beneficial. You don't have to go to a gym. Walking around the block or doing gentle yoga can bring on these benefits as well.

7. Cry.

Studies have shown that suppressing your emotions lowers oxytocin levels. Withholding your feelings and not dealing with them causes stress and other physical issues in the body. Your emotional state should be imbalanced with your spiritual and physical bodies. The release of tears allows the body to return to a state of calmness as oppose to holding on to anger or frustration.

8. Give.

We feel good when we give, volunteer and do for others. Give gifts, give your time, give to charity and give thanks. Gratitude is a huge factor on how we feel. Give of yourself and watch how great you will feel. Oxytocin produces the feeling of bonding with others. Giving is a form of human bonding. This is a natural and easy way to increase your oxytocin while helping another.

9. Get creative.

Creativity helps de-stress the mental mind. While you are creating you aren't worrying or fearing anything. As you paint, draw, sew, journal, write, play an instrument, or anything that takes you out of a normal routine, you are allowing the good hormones to take over in the brain. Endorphins are released and oxytocin is charged up. Making time to use your talents is imperative to inducing joy.

10. Get a pet.

Animals have a way of calming us. You enter the house and your cat and dog are anxiously waiting for you to give them love. The same effect that oxytocin has on touching another person, works on petting your animals. Research shows that just touching your pets lowers your blood pressure and increases your oxytocin levels.

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10 Ways To Increase the Oxytocin In Your Body

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Oxytocin is a hormone produced primarily in the hypothalamus and acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain. It plays a huge role in the female reproduction system during child birth and with lactation. But, the hormone is best known as the "love hormone" because of how it increases with touch and stimulation.

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You may have heard a lot about the body's natural "feel-good" chemicals, but what are endorphins, exactly? These natural peptide chemicals produced in your body interact with receptors in your brain to help you feel focused, less impacted by pain and put you in a better mood. In fact, endorphins have a lot in common with prescription anti-anxiety drugs and opiate painkillers. While it might seem scary to know that endorphins work in a similar way to mood-controlling drugs like morphine, rest assure they provide the benefits without all the risks. Mind-altering substances commonly cause side effects, including mood swings, fatigue, brain fog and even addiction - but there's really no downside to releasing more natural endorphins in order to feel better.

We regularly release opiate chemicals ("endorphins'") in response to sources of pain or stress. The pleasure we get from these neurochemicals - which have similar effects to hormones such as dopamine and serotonin - are both legal and good for you long-term. Endorphins work with your body's design, not against it, and wind up benefitting your mind-body connection in ways you probably don't even realize.

What are some natural endorphin-boosting things you can do to reach a healthier mental state, without the risky side effects of drugs? As you'll learn, these include habits like exercising in appropriate amounts, eating right and using other stress-relievers, including community connection or meditation.

What Are Endorphins

Endorphins are the popular term for chemical substances known as "opiate peptides." Which neurochemicals qualify as "endorphins," and what do endorphins do exactly?

Endorphins include enkephalins and dynorphins, substances associated with feelings of pleasure, sexuality/sensually, euphoria and pain relief. Essentially, endorphins promote a sort of "bliss," providing a sense of well-being. Low levels of endorphins are associated with the opposite effects: physical and emotional pain (including chronic pain linked to disorders like fibromyalgia), addiction and higher incidence of risk-taking behaviors.

When most people talk about endorphins, they're also referring to other neurotransmitters besides opiate peptides, including dopamine and serotonin.
Here's a quick overview of how endorphins are released:
Medically speaking, we refer to chemical messengers of the mind that cause emotions as neurotransmitters. Endorphins are manufactured by the central nervous system (your brain, spinal cord and nerves that connect to many other parts of your body). ( 1) Through the production of certain neurotransmitters, the pituitary gland in your brain gets the signal to release particular endorphins depending on the situation, which then bind to neuron receptors. There's also evidence that the immune system releases certain endorphins based on rising levels of inflammation, which is a mechanism useful for dulling pain. ( 2)

There are many different neurotransmitters that play a role in releasing endorphins, and they're mostly made from nutrients we get from our diet - including amino acids (the building blocks of proteins), vitamins, fatty acids and minerals. This is why a healthy diet, especially when coupled with mood-boosting supplements, is key for sustaining a happier state of mind, focus, energy and other positive moods.

Certain endorphins act as natural analgesics, meaning they diminish your perception of pain. Others are natural sedatives, allowing you to feel relaxed enough to become drowsy and sleepy at certain points in the day. And neurotransmitters, including dopamine and serotonin, keep you feeling motivated to accomplish tasks, connected to others and calmer in the face of stress or adversity.

Dopamine vs. Serotonin: Their Effects & Key Differences

Your endocrine (hormonal) system functions at a slower pace than your nervous system, but the two must work together to maintain internal balance and happiness. There are actually hundreds of different chemicals in the brain we call neurotransmitters or endorphins. These cause positive feelings, but the two that are probably the most well-known are dopamine and serotonin.

The combination of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and opiate endorphins are often called "the quartet." Together, they're responsible for most of our perception of "happiness". ( 3) Let's take a look at how these chemicals function and play off one another:

Serotonin. Serotonin is often called the "happy hormone" because it improves your mood and helps beat depression. We need healthy levels of serotonin for mood stabilization, getting good sleep, dreaming and visualization. It also influences many physiological functions you probably wouldn't expect, such as blood pressure levels, digestion and regulation of body temperature. Adequate levels of serotonin provide emotional and social stability, while low levels of serotonin are associated with various mental disturbances including: depression, anxiety, PMS, sugar/carbohydrate cravings, trouble sleeping, obsessive thinking and addiction to alcohol or drugs.

Dopamine. (It's closely related to the hormone noradrenalin, also called norepinephrine). Dopamine is considered one of the strongest "feel-good hormones" (neurotransmitters) that makes you feel energized, motivated and in control. Both dopamine and noradrenaline are associated with pleasure, motivation, alertness, concentration and euphoria. They are raised by sources of stress, but this doesn't always mean "bad stress." Noradrenaline levels tend to be higher in "positive stress" states like sex, being in love, during exercise or doing other fun things like dancing, laughing and listening to music. Low levels of dopamine/norepinephrine is associated with: depression, lack of concentration (brain fog), poor motivation and difficulty initiating and/or completing tasks.
There are other important neurochemicals to familiarize yourself with, too, including:

GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid): relaxing and calming after experiencing stress, since it has a dampening effect on the central nervous system

Catecholamines: energizers or natural stimulants

Adrenaline (also called epinephrine): strong motivator, stimulating you to deal with and overcome stress

Acetylcholine: improves memory and mental alertness

Tryptamines: help with forming bonds and connection

Melatonin: helps to keep you in tune with the cycles of nature and day/night

DMT (dimethyltryptamine): useful for staying optimistic and seeing "the big picture" when stressed

7 Benefits of Endorphins
1. May Help You Overcome Addictions
The release of endorphins can be helpful for allowing you to escape addictions, including some that you may not even realize you have - such as overeating/binge-eating or other "normal" sources of overconsumption (like dependence on social media). When endorphins or other neurochemical levels drop, you're more likely to look for unhealthy sources of comfort or reward, including drugs and alcohol. This is why healthy habits like exercise can be powerful for dealing with addiction, depression and boosting recovery.
2. Offer Relief from Stress, Depression or Anxiety
As you've learned, serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins all have powerful mood-boosting abilities. Several popular antidepressant drugs (such as Prozac or Zoloft) are called "selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors," or SSRIs. They work to decrease symptoms of depression by blocking neurons' reuptake of serotonin, leaving more available and circulating in the bloodstream. This helps elevate your mood, although artificially. The same serotonin and endorphin perks, although usually to a lesser degree, can be felt from increasing levels naturally through things like your diet, hobbies and sleep (see below).
3. Protect Your Heart
Something that might surprise you about the "cuddle hormone" oxytocin is that it seems to improve immune function and even protects your heart from stress. ( 4) Consider this another reason to get a massage or hug someone for your health.
4. Make You Feel Sleepy, but Also Fight Fatigue
Endorphins, and especially serotonin, affect your overall moods, level of sleepiness and pain tolerance - all important parts of regulating your internal "clock" called the circadian rhythm. Your circadian rhythm helps you to intuitively know the cycles of day/wake versus night/sleep. This helps you wake up refreshed but feel drowsy before bed and during the night. Melatonin, dopamine and other chemicals, such as adrenaline, also affect your sleep cycle and send your brain a signal when it's either time to wind down or rise and shine.
5. Keep Your Brain Sharp
Certain endorphins are highly beneficial for cognition, as well as fueling creativity and inspiration. We can thank the release of endorphins and neurochemicals like dopamine for allowing us to stay motivated and intrigued enough to produce great works of art, music and writing, to create scientific formulations and even to experience spiritual breakthroughs.
6. Help You Deal with Pain
Beta-endorphins are a type of neuropeptides involved in pain management, possessing morphine-like effects, according to a report published in Hawaii Medical Journal. ( 5)

The neuron receptors that endorphins bind to help decrease the perception of pain just like some prescriptions. In fact, certain pain-killing drugs act on the same binding sites that endorphins do. In low doses, the opiates morphine and codeine are actually found in normal cerebrospinal fluid that surrounds the brain and spinal cord. However when their levels are dramatically increased, they cause strong pain-killing effects. In normal circumstances without opiates circulating in your system, endorphins take on the role of controlling pain enough to help you carry on when injured or ill.
7. Help You Feel Connected to Others
Considering humans are a highly-social species, it's not surprising we feel a natural "high"- thanks to the release of neurochemicals like oxytocin - when we experience a sense of unity with those around us, a deep connection with community or family and a shared sense of life's purpose. Oxytocin is released during highly emotional moments like childbirth, when you're in love and also during orgasms. ( 6) It helps increase fidelity and monogamy in relationships, motivates us to strengthen personal connections, helps us stay honest and facilitates compassion/empathy towards others.

7 Natural Ways to Increase Endorphins & Feel-Good Chemicals

The amazing thing about the human brain and body is that we are all capable of producing our own "natural highs," without even taking illegal or prescription substances for help. Positive moods also thankfully work in a cyclical pattern: when we release endorphins following behaviors like exercise or time spent with others, we are motivated to repeat these behaviors again in the future. When we ask ourselves, "What are endorphins," it's important to also understand how to naturally boost endorphin levels.
1. Exercise Regularly
A large body of research shows that people who exercise regularly have added protection against depression, tend to deal with anxiety better and also get better sleep. ( 7) Exercise is one of the most endorphin-boosting things we can do, offering numerous benefits for both our bodies and minds (hence the name "runner's high"). Studies show exercise even works similarly to meditation to increase well-being. Some of the ways that exercise releases endorphins and therefore improves your mood include: ( 8)

Increasing self-esteem; we feel good about taking care of our own health

Giving you a sense of accomplishment and mastery as you progress (due to dopamine)

Increasing energy levels and helping you sleep more soundly (thanks to adrenaline and serotonin)

Keeping you motivated to keep trying and improving in the future (due to dopamine)

Leaving you with a more optimistic, positive and energized outlook on life

2. Eat A Healthy Diet
Because your diet is key for creating neurotransmitters, you can view certain healthy foods as near-perfect "brain foods." Nutrient-dense foods can improve how you feel and think, plus balance your blood sugar, which acts as brain and body fuel. Stabilizing your mood with a healthy diet can also allow you to break your dependency on processed food substances that interfere with normal brain chemistry and deplete your energy over time. Here's how to increase the release of endorphins such as serotonin through your dietary choices:

Consume enough protein. Serotonin is made primarily through intake of tryptophan-rich foods, such as turkey or milk. Almost all protein sources will help release serotonin, including meat, fish, chicken, poultry, cheese, milk and eggs, which are complete proteins.

Don't skip plant foods. You can also combine a number of different plant foods, such as beans with sprouted grains, to get the same effects. In general, whole foods like seeds, nuts, beans, lentils, peas, corn or the germ of grains, such as buckwheat and oats, are all good plant sources of amino acids that help increase serotonin. Even some veggies, such as broccoli, spinach or cauliflower, are relatively rich in protein.

Consume more antioxidant foods. Free radicals are the major cause of the aging process and also contribute to mental illness, since they attack brain cells and contribute to inflammation. Increase your intake of antioxidant foods by eating colorful plants like leafy greens, sweet potato, squash, citrus, blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, raspberries, plums, broccoli and alfalfa sprouts.

Eat healthy fats. Fats comprise 60 percent of the brain. Essential fatty acids produce hormones called eicosanoids, which are necessary for many chemical processes within the body. They stimulate the immune system, fight inflammation and support the activity of neurotransmitters, including serotonin. Get healthy fats from coconut or olive oil, wild-caught fish like Alaskan salmon, nuts, seeds and avocado.

Avoid high consumption of alcohol and caffeine. Using and abusing these substances can lead the body to compensate by building a tolerance due to down-regulation. This makes it harder to quit, requires you to increase your intake to feel the same mood-boost, and causes side effects of "withdrawal" in some cases.

3. Laugh More!
Laughter is basically a quick-fix for feeling almost instantly better, thanks to the release of endorphins. Studies have even linked laughter with an elevated pain threshold. ( 9) Try regularly doing something to keep your sense of humor, such as playing with children, watching something funny, recalling a funny moment, sharing jokes, or attending live comedy events.
4. Connect with Others (This Includes Touch, Volunteering & Finding Purpose)
Connection - through means like being touched when receiving a massage or a hug, volunteering to help others or just having a deep conversation with someone you trust - all releases oxytocin and other chemicals that help you feel calm and comforted. Acupuncture and other hands-on treatments also seem to have similar effects according to some studies. ( 10) Make time to foster healthy relationships, reach out to others in need, find a sense of purpose and notice how good you feel when you do something nice for someone else.
5. Learn Something New
Dopamine is the primary neurotransmitter involved in stimulus-reward-learning, so it can help us learn positive behaviors and stay motivated when used to our advantage. ( 11) Of course, the opposite is also true: a dopamine release is also triggered when we engage in a harmful habit (such as overeating junky food). This steers us in the direction of wanting to repeat these behaviors again.

Use dopamine's reinforcing abilities to your benefit by learning something new, experiencing something novel, such as new location when traveling or making progress in a hobby or at work. These can all release feel good neurochemicals, making you want to repeat them. Challenge yourself regularly by finding new sources of engagement, and don't shy away from taking on difficult tasks that can wind up be rewarding long-term.
6. Incorporate Soothing Tastes, Smells & Essential Oils
Aromatherapy, or simply smelling something that reminds you of comforting times (such as fresh baked cookies) has been linked to the release of endorphins. Essential oil scents such as vanilla, chamomile, rose and lavender can help you actually feel calmer almost instantly. And similarly, consumption of "guilty pleasures" like dark chocolate can bring on a feeling of comfort, thanks to the release of chemicals such as theobromine.

Wondering if the giggly, mellow feeling you might get from alcohol is related to endorphins? According to recent studies, drinking alcohol may release a small amount of feel-good hormones (especially when you're having a drink while bonding with friends), but too much will actually cause the opposite effects. ( 12)
7. Spend Time in Nature & in the Sun
Exposing yourself to nature and the sun for about 20 minutes daily helps your skin absorb UV rays and produce vitamin D, which is important for your mood. Sunshine and nature also seem to help regulate the release of neurochemicals like serotonin and melatonin.

What Are Endorphins? Final Thoughts

Endorphins are neurotransmitters, or natural opiate-peptide chemicals, that pass along signals from one neuron to the next, causing feelings or emotions.

The release of endorphins is associated with feelings of pleasure, sexuality/sensually, motivation, euphoria, social connection and pain relief. Low levels of endorphins are associated with pain, addiction, sadness or depression, sleep trouble, brain fog and higher incidence of risk-taking behaviors.

Natural ways to release endorphins include exercise, eating a healthy diet, laughing, working on fun hobbies, learning something new and connecting with others.

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7 Ways to Hack Your Biology to Manufacture More Natural "Feel-Good" Chemicals

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You may have heard a lot about the body's natural "feel-good" chemicals, but what are endorphins, exactly? These natural peptide chemicals produced in your body interact with receptors in your brain to help you feel focused, less impacted by pain and put you in a better mood.

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The stress hormone, cortisol, is public health enemy number one. Scientists have known for years that elevated cortisol levels: interfere with learning and memory, lower immune function and bone density, increase weight gain, blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease... The list goes on and on.

Chronic stress and elevated cortisol levels also increase risk for depression, mental illness, and lower life expectancy. This week, two separate studies were published in Science linking elevated cortisol levels as a potential trigger for mental illness and decreased resilience-especially in adolescence.

Cortisol is released in response to fear or stress by the adrenal glands as part of the fight-or-flight mechanism. The fight-or-flight mechanism is part of the general adaptation syndrome defined in 1936 by Canadian biochemist Hans Selye of McGill University in Montreal. He pubished his revolutionary findings in a simple seventy-four line article in, in which he defined two types of "stress": eustress (good stress) and distress (bad stress).

Both eustress and distress release cortisol as part of the general adaption syndrome. Once the alarm to release cortisol has sounded, your body becomes mobilized and ready for action-but there has to be a physical release of fight or flight. Otherwise, cortisol levels build up in the blood which wreaks havoc on your mind and body.

Eustress creates a "seize-the-day" heightened state of arousal, which is invigorating and often linked with a tangible goal. Cortisol returns to normal upon completion of the task. Distress, or free floating anxiety, doesn't provide an outlet for the cortisol and causes the fight-or-flight mechanism to backfire. Ironically, our own biology-which was designed to insure our survival as hunters and gatherers-is sabotaging our bodies and minds in a sedentary digital age. What can we do to defuse this time-bomb?

Luckily, you can make 5 simple lifestyle choices that will reduce stress, anxiety and lower your cortisol levels. Below are 5 tips for reducing your cortisol levels everyday:

1. Regular Physical Activity: Kick boxing, sparring, or a punching bag are terrific ways to recreate the " fight " response by letting out aggression (without hurting anyone) and to reduce cortisol.

Any aerobic activity, like walking, jogging, swimming, biking, riding the elliptical... are great ways to recreate the ' flight ' outlet and burn-up cortisol. A little bit of cardio goes a long way. Just 20-30 minutes of activity most days of the week pays huge dividends by lowering cortisol every day and in the long-run.

Fear increases cortisol. Regular physical activity will decrease fear by increasing your self- confidence, resilience, and fortitude-which will reduce cortisol. Yoga will have similar benefits with added benefits of mindfulness training.

If your schedule is too hectic to squeeze in a continuous session of aerobic activity, you can reap the same benefits by breaking daily activity into smaller doses. An easy way to guarantee regular activity is to build inadvertant activity into your daily routine. Try things such as riding a bike to work, walking to the store, taking the stairs instead of the escalator... These all add up to a cumulative tally of reduced cortisol at the end of the day.

2. Mindfulness and Loving-Kindness Meditation (LKM): Any type of meditation will reduce anxiety and lower cortisol levels. Simply taking a few deep breaths engages the Vagus nerve which triggers a signal within your nervous system to slow heart rate, lower blood pressure and decreases cortisol. The next time you feel yourself in a stressful situation that activates your 'Fight-or-Flight' response take 10 deep breaths and feel your entire body relax and decompress.

Setting aside 10-15 minutes to practice mindfulness or meditation will fortify a sense of calm throughout your nervous system, mind, and brain. There are many different types of meditation. "Meditating" doesn't have to be a sacred or new-agey "woo-woo" experience. People often ask me specifically what kind of meditation I do and how to practice "Loving-Kindness Meditation" (LKM). I am not an expert on this, but have developed a technique that works for me. I suggest that you do more research, visit a meditation center if you can, and fine-tune a daily meditation practice that fits your schedule and personality. Below is my daily 'meditation routine':

Example of Mindfulness and Loving-Kindness Meditation (LKM) method.

I like to practice two types of meditation in one 15-minute session. Personally, I like to use a timer and an "Om" or "Aum" track I have on my iTunes. Some purists might call this 'sacrilege', but it works for me, and it might work for you....

To begin, I jot down the names of people I know who are struggling or suffering on a notecard. Next, I set my iPhone to a 15-minute countdown that ends in a "harp" sound. Then, I sit upright in a chair with my legs crossed at the ankles, set the timer, start the Om/Aum track and sit with my palms open and facing upwards on my knees.

I begin with a "Mindfulness" meditation of simply focusing on my breath and repeating my 'mantra' which is three words that resonate with me. You can choose any word or combination of words that have meaning and significance to you. I repeat these words silently in my mind like a rosary as I take deep breaths, relax my shoulders and feel myself drift into a trance-like state.

After a few minutes, I move into the "Loving-Kindness Meditation" (LKM) phase which has three steps for me. First, I go through the checklist of specific people I know who are struggling, suffering (or frustrating me) and send them love, light, strength, and compassion...Secondly, I move to universal thoughts of loving-kindness for strangers I may have read about in the news or larger populations that are suffering. Thirdly, as part of the LKM phase I focus on self-compassion and forgive myself for my 'trespasses' and ask for atonement.

After I've completed the LKM cycle, I return back to a single-focused meditation of emptying my mind and focus on my breathing until the alarm goes off. When I hear the harp sound there is always a Pavlovian conditioned response of an 'ahhh' feeling accompanied by a big exhale as I open my eyes and face the real world again.

Remember, you can meditate anytime and any place. There don't have to be strict boundaries to when and how you do it. Mindfulness and meditation is a powerful de-stressor and cortisol reducer that is always in your toolbox and at your fingertips. You can squeeze in a few minutes of meditation on the subway, in a waiting room, on a coffee break... I hope this advice is helpful to you.

3. Social Connectivity: Two studies published this week in the journal Science illustrate that social agression and isolation lead to increased levels of cortisol in mice that trigger a cascade of potential mental health problems-especially in adolescence.

Researchers at Johns Hopkins established that elevated levels of cortisol in adolescence change the expression of numerous genes linked to mental illness in some people. They found that these changes in young adulthood-which is a critical time for brain development-could cause severe mental illness in those predisposed for it. These findings, reported in the January 2013 journal Science, could have wide-reaching implications in both the prevention and treatment of schizophrenia, severe depression and other mental illnesses.

Akira Sawa, M.D., Ph.D., a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, and his team set out to simulate social isolation associated with the difficult years of adolescence in human teens. They found that isolating mice known to have a genetic predisposition for mental illness during their adolescence triggered 'abnormal behaviors' that continued even when returned to the group. They found that the effects of adolescent isolation lasted into the equivalent of mouse adulthood.

"We have discovered a mechanism for how environmental factors, such as stress hormones, can affect the brain's physiology and bring about mental illness," says Sawa, the study leader. "We've shown in mice that stress in adolescence can affect the expression of a gene that codes for a key neurotransmitter related to mental function and psychiatric illness. While many genes are believed to be involved in the development of mental illness, my gut feeling is environmental factors are critically important to the process."

To shed light on how and why some mice got better, Sawa and his team studied the link between cortisol and the release of dopamine. Sawa says the new study suggests that we need to think about better preventative care for teenagers who have mental illness in their families, including efforts to protect them from social stressors, such as neglect. Meanwhile, by understanding the cascade of events that occurs when cortisol levels are elevated, researchers may be able to develop new compounds to target tough-to-treat psychiatric disorders with fewer side effects.

In another study, published on January 18, 2013 in the journal Science researchers from France revealed that mice who were subjected to aggression, by specific mice bred to be 'bullies' released cortisol which triggered a response that led to social aversion to all other mice. The exact cascade of neurobiological changes was complex but also involved dopamine. The researchers found that if they blocked the cortisol receptors that the 'bullied' mice became more resilient and no longer avoided their fellow creatures.

Close knit human bonds-whether it be family, friendship or a romantic partner-are vital for your physical and mental health at any age. Recent studies have shown that the Vagus nerve also responds to human connectivity and physical touch to relax your parasympathetic nervous system.

The "tend-and-befriend" response is the exact opposit to "fight-or-flight". The "tend-and-befriend" response increases oxytocin and reduces cortisol. Make an effort to spend real face-to-face time with loved ones whenever you can, but phone calls and even Facebook can reduce cortisol if they foster a feeling of genuine connectivity.

4. Laughter and Levity: Having fun and laughing reduces cortisol levels. Dr. William Fry is an American psychiatrist who has been studying the benefits of laughter for the past 30 years and has found links to laughter and lowered levels of stress hormones. Many studies have shown the benefits of having a sense of humor, laughter and levity. Try to find ways in your daily life to laugh and joke as much as possible and you'll lower cortisol levels.

5. Music: Listening to Music that you love, and fits whatever mood you're in, has been shown to lower cortisol levels. I recently wrote about the wide range of benefits that come from listening to music in a Psychology Today blog title "The Neuroscience of Music, Mindset, and Motivation". We all know the power of music to improve mood and reduce stress. Add reducing your cortisol levels as another reason to keep the music playing as a soundtrack of health and happiness in your life.
Conclusion
President Obama's second inaugural speech brought up many calls to action that can be framed through the lens of "Cortisol as Public Health Enemy Number One." The ripple effect of a fearful, isolated and stressed out society increases cortisol levels across the board for Americans of all ages. This creates a public health crisis and a huge drain on our economy.

If each of us works alone, and together, to reduce cortisol levels we will all benefit. As citizens, if we live like we are "All for one, and one for all" we can reduce the amount of stress hormone in our society and individual lives.

Feeling socially connected, safe, and self-reliant reduces cortisol. I hope the 5 tips presented above will help you make lifestyle choices that reduce your levels of stress hormone.

Lastly, in light of the Sandy Hook tragedy last month, we are all looking for components to a multi-pronged approach that will stop the violence and bloodshed. In my opinion, one specific way for us to do this is to create public health policies and funding aimed specifically at reducing cortisol levels in American youth.

In Obama's inauguration speech he declared "Our journey is not complete until all of our children, from the streets of Detroit, to the hills of Appalachia, to the quiet lanes of Newtown, know that they are cared for, and cherished, and always safe from harm." Beyond talk of gun violence legislation, if our legislators and business leaders strive to create policies and fund initiatives that create social connectivity among at-risk teens and reduce bullying they will be reducing cortisol levels in our young people. This will make them mentally and physically healthier, more resilient, and less likely to be violent.

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Cortisol: Why "The Stress Hormone" Is Public Enemy No. 1

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Cortisol is public health enemy number one. Scientists have known for years that chronic stress and elevated cortisol: weakens memory, lowers immune function, increases weight gain, blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease. This week two new studies revealed dramatic psychological impacts of high cortisol.

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Mother's Day is a time to celebrate the miracle of life and reflect on not just how mothers have impacted our lives, but how motherhood has impacted them. During the course of nine months of pregnancy, moms-to-be undergo common physical and emotional changes that lead to childbirth, from weight gain to mood swings. However, Healthline.com's infographic " Body Changes During Pregnancy " illustrates the other surprising body changes women experience.

Body image becomes a huge concern for women during pregnancy. A full-term pregnancy lasts about 40 weeks, says the Office On Women's Health, counting from the first day of your last normal period. These weeks are grouped into trimesters where a woman's body undergoes severe changes and discomfort.

A pregnant woman's body is ever-changing from the time of conception up until the time she gives birth. The effects of pregnancy are so influential, they affect the number of breaths per minute a woman takes. The respiratory system changes as the respiratory rate rises as a means to compensate for increased maternal oxygen consumption. This is needed for the demands of the uterus, placenta, and the fetus. The increase in breathing rate means an increase in cardiac output, blood volume, and resting heart rate. However, the expanding uterus on the large veins causes the blood to slow in its return to the heart.

The expansion of the uterus influences the functionality of the other systems in the body. The uterus will add approximately 2 pounds to a woman's body weight as it enlarges. It has the ability to rise up and out of the pelvic cavity, displacing the stomach, the intestines, and other nearby organs.

The abdomen itself begins to expand during the second trimester with the top of the uterus moving over the rib cage by the end of this stage. The more the uterus grows, too, the more pressure it puts on the bladder, urethra, and the pelvic floor muscles, which leads to frequent urination. It also forces the kidneys to work extra hard to excrete the mother and the fetus's waste products.

The more well-known physical changes associated with pregnancy include body weight, hair and nail texture, leg cramps, swelling of the feet and ankles, and body temperature.

View the infographic below to learn more about how the stages of pregnancy heavily influence a woman's body during these nine months.

Moms, this Mother's Day celebrate the body you're in.

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How A Woman's Body Changes During 9 Months Of Pregnancy [INFOGRAPHIC]

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Mother's Day is a time to celebrate the miracle of life and reflect on not just how mothers have impacted our lives, but how motherhood has impacted them. During the course of nine months of pregnancy, moms-to-be undergo common physical and emotional changes that lead to childbirth, from weight gain to mood swings.

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A guide to the size of your baby as it grows from week to week check out the infographic.

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Good birth stories are powerful. Hearing a mother's experience - how she felt, what helped her feel strong, the way they were loved and listened to - it's more than comfort. It's a model to copy.

Learning from first-hand experience gifts you confidence for your birth. And when you also have a story to share, you can pay that forward in turn.

For nine years, tell me a good birth story has been building a big chain of beautiful birth stories. The link gets longer all the time, so if you'd like to add to it, please get in touch. Whether waterbirth or caesarean, induction or a breech birth at home, if you want to contribute your experience as a way to support new parents, contact us using the SHARE YOUR STORY page.

As for how to use this site.....head over to our library and dive in. A scroll's ok. But better still, get yourself a cup of tea and have a proper 'meeting' with the people sharing their stories there. In amongst the tales you'll find some tips from me - pearls and pointers about what all women need, wherever their birth journey takes them.

For further encouragement, my book is packed with practical guidance, and will help provide a clear path to you having a positive birth experience yourself.

Buy a copy, for yourself or a friend, and you'll be supporting our site and helping our community to grow.

'Absolutely loved this book. Very informative and full of no-nonsense, real and realistic advice about giving birth. A fantastic resource for preparing for a positive birth experience, whatever kind of birth you have. On top of that, it is a beautiful book with gorgeous imagery. A joy to read.' Noobug, Amazon Customer

'Natalie is all your mothers, your sisters, your aunties and your friends arriving bearing the gifts of their experience and wisdom. Nothing this book shares with us is useless; every page holds a nugget that could make birth or parenting easier or more beautiful. Reading the section on labour I felt I could hear Natalie's warm, kind voice, holding my hand as she passed on the deep, intuitive knowledge that can only come from years spent accompanying parents through labour and birth.' AIMS ( Association for the Improvement of Maternity Services )

'I adored this book and can't stop recommending it to people. I read it when pregnant with my second child and learnt so much, despite having giving birth before. It made so much sense! I learnt about all the stages of labour and was so much better prepared for my second birth. I loved the suggestions of lavender and hot water bottles, and other tips. It made me feel nurtured and excited about the birth. A very special book!' Jo

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Good birth stories are powerful. Hearing a mother's experience - how she felt, what helped her feel strong, the way they were loved and listened to - it's more than comfort. It's a model to copy. Learning from first-hand experience gifts you confidence for your birth.

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Rock start birth magazine. Full of positive affirmations

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Rock start birth magazine. Full of positive affirmations

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I remember when I was pregnant with my first babe and I wanted a natural medication-free birth. I didn't like the idea of drugs, or forceps, or an episiotomy ( shiver) and I dreaded the thought of a caesarean. Whilst squeezing another human through my vagina was not high on my bucket list, the alternatives made me think that a drug-free natural birth sounded like the best option to me.

But almost all the women I knew had experienced some form of intervention or drug involvement in their births. And all the TV shows I had seen showed birth as a screaming, chaotic, medical emergency.

I began to wonder... How exactly does one push a baby out of her vagina without drugs?

Well, I can start by telling you what NOT to do. I would definitely not encourage you to simply turn up to the hospital and say 'I'm here! Please tell me what to do next.'.

I tried that approach.

And in doing so, I handed over my power - the very thing I needed to roar my baby out. I was quickly on a slippery slope of interventions that I had not expected and unsurprisingly, my ideal birth vision went completely to shit.

I remember lying there with my waters broken, gel inserted, syntocin/pitocin pumping, an epidural, a catheter, a fetal scalp monitor, and an obstetrician between my thighs unwrapping the episiotomy scissors, thinking 'How the fuck did I end up here?'.

Turns out choosing to just 'go with the flow' (with no idea of what that actually meant) was not necessarily my best idea for a birth plan.

When I became pregnant again a few years later, I made a different decision. I looked back on my first birth experience and thought "Nooooo fucking way am I doing that again". Instead of going with the flow, I decided to back myself in birth. I wasn't going to rely on the obstetrician, the midwife, or my man, to be the decision-maker in my birth. I I was going to be the expert.

First up, I researched my tail off. I looked at how contractions worked. And how to relieve the pain. I worked out how best to work with my body (instead of screaming like a banshee) to breath my baby out. And I booked a kickass birth team to back me whilst I did it.

And I got my woo-woo on. Oh yeah, I did. This former high-flying corporate chick who was used to dealing in mega-money deals, suddenly started doing visualisations, and meditations, and journaling, and repeating mantras. I danced naked under the full moon and drank birth potions from forest witches. Ok, maybe not that last part but you get the drift. I threw all that good hippy-lovin' juju at my birth.

I went after that natural drug-free birth like a woman possessed. And you know what? It worked.

By the time I birthed my babe, I was ready to rock and roll. In just 6 undisturbed hours, I birthed that baby like a freaking Rockstar. It was intense but pain-free, it was powerful AND pleasurable, and it was definitely the most incredible high (yep, even better than sex). I birthed that babe with every fibre of my being. I mean, I was on FIRE! Yeah baby.

And it was the difference between these two birth experiences that led to the creation of Rockstar Birth. Because I want EVERY woman to know that birth doesn't have to be shit-scary and traumatic.

I want YOU to know that the actions you take, and the decisions you make, can positively impact your birth experience. Like A LOT.

So I created the Rockstar Birth Magazine. And then the Rockstar Birth Radio podcast. And now I am beaming into your favourite technological device with my most comprehensive jam-packed, insightful and educational, confidence-boosting, digital baby - The Rock Your Birth Academy.
The Rock Your Birth Academy helped me through one of the most confusing and scary times of my life and helped me become empowered, enriched and educated. I discovered a new found respect for birth and I LOVED labour!!! It's hard not to love something so natural and beautiful when you're not scared. ~ Ashley
So what are you going to do... Stay in fear or overwhelm (or both!) and pretend that a baby isn't going to exit from your body? (Reality check. It is.)

Or take a deep breath, step up, and become an active participant in your birth?

Join The Rock Your Birth Academy now. We'll start preparing to rock your birth from the moment you sign up (like, right NOW!). You can grab all the details, including your invitation to Rock Your Birth here:
Rock Your Birth Academy
Beaming positive birthing vibes your way, Shalome x

shalome@rockstarbirth.com

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I remember when I was pregnant with my first babe and I wanted a natural medication-free birth. I didn't like the idea of drugs, or forceps, or an episiotomy ( shiver) and I dreaded the thought of a caesarean.

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Coping skills for labour from baby centre

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Coping skills for labour from baby centre

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by , Senior midwife and team leader June 2021

iStock.com / Prostock-Studio

In this article

If you've looked into pain management for labour and you're not sure about having pethidine or an epidural, you may want to use some tried and tested natural methods of pain relief first. Natural methods like massage and breathing work by releasing pain relief and feel-good hormones, and don't have unwanted side effects. They can help you during labour and birthing. You can include any natural pain relief options you want to try in your birth plan so your hospital or birth centre can support your choices. You might also be able to practise some of the methods at your antenatal classes.

Can using warmth ease labour pain?

Applying warmth is a tried-and-tested way of relaxing aching, tense muscles. So it's no surprise that it can help provide relief from labour pain.

A warm water bottle is perfect for warming your back, tummy or groin if you're in hospital or at home. Use a hot water bottle filled with warm (not boiling) water. Take care to wrap the bottle in a towel or soft cover before you use it.

A wheat bag can also be used if you're planning a home birth. This is a bag that's been filled with wheat husks and can be heated for just a few minutes in the microwave. It shapes itself to your body and should stay warm for an hour or so. Some wheat bags are even scented with lavender, which may also help you feel calm and relaxed.

Unfortunately, hospitals, especially NHS ones, don't have the facilities to heat wheat bags, so this is only an option if you're having a home birth. Maximum heating times and instructions for use will be stated on the packet, so always be sure to follow them carefully.

A warm flannel or compress placed on the area between the back of your vaginal opening and your back passage (perineum) can be used once your baby's head emerges. It may reduce your risk of having a severe tear, and can make you feel more comfortable.

How does a birth pool relieve labour pain?

Labouring in warm water can relax you and make contractions more bearable, just as having a regular bath helps to ease tummy ache or backache. The birthing pool is kept at a warm temperature which will relax you and help you to store up energy for what's to follow.

Using a birth pool can help you cope better with the pain of labour and make you feel more in control. Research has found that spending some time labouring in water means you're less likely to need an epidural or spinal painkiller than if you spend your entire labour out of water. Using a birth pool may also shorten the first stage of your labour.

How can breathing help with contractions?

Focusing on your breathing is a really helpful way of getting through each contraction. Follow these tips to help make the most of your breathing:

As you breathe, think of the word "relax" in two stages. Take a deep breath at the beginning of the contraction and think "re-", then as you breathe out, think "-lax" and let go of any tension.

Continue by breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth, keeping your mouth soft and slightly open.

Concentrate as hard as you can on breathing in as the contraction builds up, and out as it fades away.

Keep a good rhythm going. Don't worry about how deeply you're breathing, or for how long. Just try not to let the in-breath become longer than the out-breath.

When the contraction is over, try to relax as much as possible.

This rhythmic breathing will conserve your energy and help to ease your pain, too.
Will resting help with labour pain?

In early labour you can prepare yourself for coping with pain. Make yourself as comfortable as possible in bed or on a chair. Tuck pillows all around yourself. Have a hot, sweet drink and relax. Put the television on or play some of your favourite music, and rest!

Later on, you'll find it much easier to cope with painful contractions if you haven't been rushing around during early labour.

Should I change position during labour to ease pain?

Yes, keeping mobile will help you cope as your labour progresses. There's good evidence that staying in upright positions or walking around can help to shorten your labour by over an hour.

Unless you're really tired, try not to lie on your back once you're in active labour. Doing so can make your contractions slower and more painful.

Walking around and using upright positions means you're less likely to need an epidural or a caesarean. It's good for your baby too, as it reduces the likelihood that they'll need special care.

Your midwife can guide and support you to try different positions. Some are designed to help you cope in the first stage of labour. Other positions may help your baby to descend in the second stage.

As labour progresses, lying on your side may help you to rest and keep your pelvis free and open.

Try out different positions to see what's most comfortable. You could:

Stand up and lean on the bed or your partner.

Kneel down on a mat or pillow and lean on the seat of a chair or birth ball.

Kneel with one leg raised to make lots of room in your pelvis for your baby to come out.

Get on your hands and knees. You may find this makes things easier if your baby is in the back-to-back position.

Sit for a while in a chair or on a birth ball, then get up and walk around.

Rock your hips to help your baby to move down.

Saving energy in early labour is important, but sometimes a short, gentle walk can ease pain and speed up your contractions. That's because it encourages your baby down your birth canal and put pressure on your cervix to help it dilate. Just try not to overdo it, as you'll need plenty of energy later on.
How does massage help with labour pain?

Massage may help you to keep calm and cope with labour pain.

Massage, particularly having someone rub your back, will warm your skin and stimulate your body to release its own natural painkillers. If you're using essential oils, check with an accredited aromatherapist that they are safe to use during pregnancy.

Tell your birth partner or midwife where you'd like to be massaged. You may prefer it at the very base of your back to help with lower back pain during contractions. Or you may like your shoulders massaged between contractions to help you relax. Let them know what works for you, so you get the best out of it.

A massage that starts slowly is best. Frantic rubbing will make you feel panicky rather than relaxed! Firm pressure will help stimulate your body to release feel-good hormones (endorphins), which help to reduce pain and relax you.

Can having a supportive birth partner help me cope with pain?

If you have someone supportive to comfort and stay with you during labour, you're more likely to give birth more quickly and easily. You're also likely to use less pain relief than someone without continuous support. Overall, you're also more likely to be more satisfied with your birth experience.

Who you choose as your birth partner may make a difference too. You may want your partner, a good friend or family member to be your birth partner. But you can also choose someone who you trust but don't have a personal relationship with, and is just there to provide continuous support during your labour. For example, this could be a doula or a woman who's given birth before herself. In fact, you may find that someone outside your normal circle may be better able to offer the support you need. Don't worry if this doesn't appeal to you, though. A good friend, family member or your partner will also be able to provide excellent support as a birth partner.

Think carefully about who you want to have with you during your labour and birth. You'll need someone who won't panic, is positive, and is confident enough to talk to health professionals on your behalf.

You may like to choose two birth partners. Keep in mind that some hospitals dislike having two extra people in the birth room at the same time, due to lack of space. Your hospital may allow you to have one of your two birth partners in the room at a time, though.

Discuss this with your midwife and ask for your requests to be put in your notes well before your due date. Your preference is what matters.

How will my midwife help?

Your midwife will keep you informed about what's happening when you're in labour and listen to you to make sure you have the birth experience you choose. If you want to use natural pain relief to cope with contractions, your midwife will help you. And if you choose an epidural or other medical pain relief, they'll support you.

Some midwives are trained in complementary therapies, such as aromatherapy and shiatsu massage. It's worth asking if any of the midwives in your clinic or hospital have these extra skills.

Doulas aren't regulated in the same way. So if you employ a doula who's offering complementary therapies, it's worth checking what training they have had had to give you peace of mind.

More on natural pain relief in labour

References

Aasheim V, Nilsen A.B.V, Reiner LM et al. 2017. Perineal techniques during the second stage of labour for reducing perineal trauma. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews (6): CD006672 www.cochranelibrary.com [Accessed January 2021]

Bohren MA, Hofmeyr GJ, Sakala C et al. 2017. Continuous support for women during childbirth. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews (7): CD003766. www.cochranelibrary.com [Accessed January 2021]

Cluett ER, Burns E, Cuthbert A. 2018. Immersion in water in labour and birth. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews (8): CD000111 www.cochranelibrary.com [Accessed January 2021]

Gotter A. 2019. Treating pain with heat and cold. Healthline. www.healthline.com [Accessed January 2021]

Gupta JK, Sood A, Hofmeyr GJ, et al. 2017. Position in the second stage of labour for women without epidural anaesthesia. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews (5): CD002006. www.cochranelibrary.com [Accessed January 2021]

Guittier MJ, Othenin-Girard V, de Gasquet B, et al. 2016. Maternal positioning to correct occiput posterior fetal position during the first stage of labour: a randomised controlled trial. BJOG 123(13): 2199-2207

Harding M. 2016. Complementary and alternative medicine. patient.info [Accessed January 2021]

JMWH. 2020. Second stage of labor: pushing your baby out. Journal of Midwifery & Women's Health 65(3):439-440. onlinelibrary.wiley.com [Accessed January 2021]

Lawrence A, Lewis L, Hofmeyr GJ, et al. 2013. Maternal positions and mobility during first stage labour. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews (10):CD003934. www.cochranelibrary.com [Accessed January 2021]

NCCWCH. 2017. Intrapartum care: care of healthy women and their babies during childbirth. National Collaborating Centre for Women's and Children's Health, Clinical guideline, 190. www.nice.org.uk [Accessed January 2021]

OAA. nd. FAQs pain relief. Obstetric Anaesthetists Association. LabourPains.com. [Accessed January 2021]

Smith CA, Levett KM, Collins CT, et al. 2018. Massage, reflexology and other manual methods for pain management in labour. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews (3): CD009290. www.cochranelibrary.com [Accessed January 2021]

Uvnäs-Moberg K, Handlin L, Petersson M. 2014. Self-soothing behaviors with particular reference to oxytocin release induced by non-noxious sensory stimulation. Frontiers in psychology 5, 1529.

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From massage, essential oils and applying warmth, to birth pools, birthing balls and birth partners, check out these natural ways of reducing labour pain. - BabyCentre UK

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How about filling you facebook, instagram and pinterest feed with positive birth stories! You could follow sites like these. Share any others you find on your whatsapp group.

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How about filling you facebook, instagram and pinterest feed with positive birth stories! You could follow sites like these. Share any others you find on your whatsapp group.

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To tell you about the birth of my second child, I have to tell you about the birth of my first child. With my first pregnancy I had Gestational Diabetes, and Gestational Hypertension and due to mounting concerns from my midwives from my rising blood pressure and heart rate, I was induced at 39 weeks. My cervix was dilated with a foley balloon, and then my water was broken. After 10 hours of intense labor, I was hooked up to pitocin which caused back to back, incredibly painful contractions with no break in between. I quickly became overwhelmed and frightened, and I gave up on my natural birth plan and got an epidural. Several hours later, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy my husband Josh and I named Henry. Despite the fact that I had a beautiful and healthy baby, I had this irrational feeling that I had somehow failed at his birth.

Fast forward 4 years to my second pregnancy. This second time around I had several goals so that I would get the birth experience that I wanted. The first was to go into labor on my own. The second was to have a natural birth with no interventions (I wanted to stay as far away from pitocin as I could), and the third goal was to have a water birth.

So to prepare for the natural birth, I tried to cement into my head that I can do anything for one minute. Meaning, that when those contractions became difficult, painful and/or overwhelming, I could focus on the fact that it would be over in one minute, and then I'd get a break. I would meditate on that subject, and go to sleep at night thinking about it, building my foundation for this natural birth that I so wanted.

With both of my pregnancies I had Gestational Diabetes, but the second time around I did not have the hypertension that I had in the first; my blood pressure stayed beautiful the whole time. The main difference between my pregnancies were the false labor (practice labor) contractions that I had. For the last several weeks of my pregnancy (and by "several weeks" I mean at least 5 weeks) I would have timeable contractions that would start, increase in intensity and then all of a sudden stop. Starting at 36 weeks we had several false alarms. Some that even sent us to the Midwife's office to be assessed, but each time, it turned out to be braxton hicks contractions. The longer I stayed pregnant the more I felt like a ticking time bomb. I was more than ready for my baby to decide on its birthday. Having to relinquish the control and let the baby decide when it wanted to be born was one of the hardest parts of my pregnancy, and I struggled with that aspect almost every day.

When I hit 40 weeks, I was a bit shocked. I assumed that since this was a second kiddo that I wouldn't make it to my due date, but June 12th came and went. I started to feel like I'd be pregnant forever, and that I'd be enrolling my gigantic belly into kindergarten. The longer I stayed pregnant the more my brain started to assess every cramp, twinge and pain that I felt, which at 40+ weeks is about every 4.3 seconds. I felt like I was slowly losing my sanity while waiting for my baby to decide what day it wanted to be born. This kid wanted to stay put despite all the red raspberry leaf tea I was drinking, all the evening primrose oil I was taking, all the squats that I did, and the daily walks I took.

On Friday the 17th, at 5 days past my due date, I broke down and called my midwife's office and asked if I could come in and talk about options. I was starting to get a bit nervous about going over my due date because of the Gestational Diabetes, as well as just wanting to be done being pregnant. I'm one of those people who don't love being pregnant. I love the end result, but the actual process of growing a human is extremely hard on me. I had horrible morning sickness the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy, and then had two trips to the hospital in my third trimester because of gallbladder issues, and let's be honest, GD, although manageable, doesn't make things easy either.

Anyway, on June 17th, I was really hoping that I could get my membranes stripped, and that it might propel me into labor. However, at the appointment one of my midwives informed me that she couldn't reach my membranes to strip them, so unless I wanted to schedule an induction, I was just to wait. Josh and I had talked about having an induction, and we were considering it as an option. However, when the midwife brought it up and described how she would induce me, I firmly decided against it. Hearing the process she would take for the induction brought back all of the memories of my first birth. So, we went home a bit sad and discouraged, and resigned ourselves to wait.

I had a few contractions on Friday night after the appointment, some even timeable, but I didn't think anything of them. As always, I was disappointed that I was able to go to sleep and that they seemed to have stopped. On Saturday, the day before I hit 41 weeks, I had some projects to do around the house (making Josh's Father's Day gift with Henry), and as the day wore on, I noticed that I had been having contractions for most of the morning. At some point I texted Josh to tell him that I was having them, but I didn't know if it would lead to anything, so not to get excited. He got similar texts to that one for about the last 5 weeks, so he didn't think much of that text either. My contractions were irregular in length, and really far apart - 40 minutes or so, and very mild, I could ignore them easily. To me they still felt like braxton hicks.

In the afternoon Josh and I took a 2+ mile walk in our neighborhood. It was great time to spend just the two of us. We talked about how we wanted labor to go, when we thought the baby would come, and how our first son Henry would do as an older sibling. We were so excited for this baby to join us! I was contracting all through the walk, but didn't think anything of it, those contractions had become so routine.

We had a friend's birthday party to attend that night, and I really wanted to go. So, Josh and I got ready and headed out of the house around 5:30. We dropped Henry off at the in-laws for him to spend the night (that turned out to be very serendipitous), and drove out to the party downtown.
All through the party I was having contractions, and after a while I was noticing that I needed to zone out while they were happening. They were still really far apart, and I could still talk through them if I needed to, but they were getting harder and harder to ignore. They still weren't painful, but I was starting to have to focus on them and my breathing during them.

Josh and I had a really great time, and as we walked around downtown I had a lot of people comment on my belly. Around 9 pm, we stopped at a restaurant and got something to eat. While eating dinner, I noticed that my contractions were getting closer together, and I was getting more and more uncomfortable. At one point I got up to go to the bathroom and I had a strong contraction while in there. It's at that point that I started to think these contractions might actually lead to something. A short time later I noticed another contraction that was strong as well. After 4 strong contractions (at 10:15ish) I told Josh that we probably needed to head home. So, we paid for our meal, packed up to-go boxes, and said goodbye to our friends. As we were walking to our car, I heard a guy yell out of his car window "Are you going to have that baby on Elm St?!" I yelled back "I wish!"

As we were walking to the car I told Josh about the contractions and that we should start timing them as we drive home. He seemed surprised at that statement, but pulled the app up on the phone to time them. As Josh had had a few beers that night, I ended up driving home while having contractions that were about 10 minutes apart. I supposed I should have mentioned the contractions earlier...It's a good thing that my excitement trumped any kind of pain I was feeling. The first contraction we timed was at 10:45. As soon as we got home, we finished packing the go bag and got everything ready in case this was really it.

Once the bag was packed, everything seemed to get more intense fairly quickly. By midnight my contractions were about 5 minutes apart. They were starting to get strong, and to get through them, I was leaning over the yoga ball and having Josh do counter pressure on my lower back. It's around this time that my back labor started. My pelvis and lower back were really starting to hurt, but leaning over the ball and firm pressure on my lower back really helped and kept them manageable.

We called our doula to let her know what was happening. She asked how I was handling everything, and I told her I was ok. She told us to keep her posted, but because I hadn't had any bloody show, or lost my mucus plug she wasn't convinced that this was it, especially with all of the false alarms we'd had. She told us to call her the moment I saw bloody show, or if I needed help and wanted her to come to the house. I was handling everything well at this point, so I just kept laboring.

Some more time passed and when my contractions hit around 4 minutes apart Josh and I called our midwife to let her know what was up, and she said to head to the hospital at any time. I wanted to wait as long as possible at home, so we just kept going. Me leaning over the yoga ball, breathing through contractions, Josh doing counter pressure on my back and The Office streaming from Netflix to distract us between contractions.

By 1:00, my contractions were 3 minutes apart, and I was really having to concentrate to get through them, and had started to vocalize during them. My mom joined us around this time and was helping to get things ready for us to head out. I kept waiting for my contractions to become as painful as what I remembered from my first pregnancy, but that never happened. And because I never reached that pain threshold, I was really unsure about when to head to the hospital. As long as I was in a position that took the pressure off of my lower back, I was good.

Still unsure that it was time, Josh, my mom and I left for the hospital at around 1:30. As we were getting ready to get in the car I just stood at the car door and had 2 contractions standing there because I didn't want to sit down. I was having strong back pain, and I knew sitting would put an unwelcome amount of pressure on my pelvis and would be excruciating...I wasn't wrong.

That 30-minute trip to the hospital was awful. I tried to lay on my sides as much as possible to take pressure off of my lower back and pelvis, but I could never find a comfortable position. I withered in pain during each contraction (2 minutes apart at this point) and the pain in my back was unbelievable. Josh was my rock though. He kept calling out landmarks as we were driving so that I'd know how close we were getting. As soon as we got to the hospital I was out of that car as fast as I could be.

While checking in I had several more contractions. I would sit in the chair to rest while talking and answering questions to the woman behind the counter, and during each contraction I would have to stand up and lean over the counter and moan, this didn't seem to faze the woman at all. Once I had a bracelet on my wrist, I was in the waiting room and had to lean on chairs. My mom applied counter pressure on my back while Josh parked the car.

At this point in time my contractions were fierce and almost frightening in their intensity. I was finding it harder and harder to keep my composure. I kept thinking that I didn't want to do this and that I wanted an epidural. I even voiced those thoughts to my mom who told me I could have whatever I wanted - sweet words that helped me calm down. Soon after those thoughts popped in my head, our doula arrived (Josh called her at some point to let her know we were going to the hospital) and was helping me with positions while we waited to be called back, and my thoughts of giving up on a natural birth went away.

I was the only one in the waiting room, and was taken to be assessed fairly quickly. They checked my blood pressure (which was up) and temp (which was normal). They then took me straight back to a room - although I hadn't been admitted yet. It took some time to get to the room. I didn't want to sit in a wheelchair, so I walked. And, during each contraction I would stop and lean on Josh in the hallway.

I had three nurses that seemed to be moving and buzzing all around me. Soon after getting into the room a nurse asked me to undress from the waist down so that she could check me. I dreaded getting on my back, but I managed it. I was so worried that they were going to tell me that I was only 3 cm and that I needed to go back home. However, I was relieved to find out that I was at 8 cm dilated and 90% effaced! No wonder I'd been having thoughts on giving up - I was in transition!! I remember looking at Josh and smiling, at that point we knew it wouldn't be long before we got to meet our baby!

For the next little while, I was standing next to the bed, with my head on Josh's chest, eyes closed, belly hanging down between us and moaning through contractions while a nurse hooked up the belts to my belly. I had another that was putting an IV in my arm for my GBS, and another that was entering information into the computer. All through this, my midwife still wasn't at the hospital, and was on her way. In all of our haste, we forgot to call her. The nurses were texting her telling her to hurry.

I remember a nurse saying that my IV was placed at 2:45. We had planned all along for this to be a water birth, and I was excited for it! I was more than ready to get in that warm water. However, I was told that I couldn't get in the birthing pool until my midwife got there because of paperwork. And, because my midwife wasn't there, my doula couldn't even fill up the tub! To cut the tension that information caused, Josh tried to distract everyone by taking a poll about the baby's gender. Apparently, there had been a streak of girls born at the hospital and all the nurses thought the baby would be a girl.

All this time going by, I was still standing next to the bed with my head on Josh's chest and eyes closed. Being in labor is the wildest feeling. I was conscious, and aware of everything that was going on, but I was also totally in my own head, my brain thinking and whirring the whole time but unable or unwilling to voice most of it. I was just concentrating on the contractions, trying to remain relaxed and loose, and to rest as much as possible between them.

The nurses must have pushed my IV fairly quickly, almost as soon as it was placed it was taken out. They left a heparin lock in, and taped a rubber glove over my arm so that I could get in the tub when the time came.

I'm fuzzy on the times, but I was told that my midwife got to the hospital around 3:10, and it's at that point that I was finally admitted to the hospital. I found out later that she had her shirt on inside out because she was in such a hurry to get there. As soon as she came in she got the paperwork going for the birthing tub to be set up, and then she turned to me and wanted to check me. I was so over being checked, and I didn't want to get on my back because of the back labor I was having. I didn't want to move, I just wanted to stay exactly as I was, but I finally consented.

I waited until I had just finished a contraction, and got on the bed. She checked me fairly quickly and told me that I was now at 9 cm! But, she then kept me on my back to break my water. I was irritated at this, because she never asked if she could break it, and I didn't know it was happening until it was too late to do anything about it. As my doula was setting up the tub, she didn't know it was happening until after. And, then of course I had another contraction while on my back, which caused me to whither and cry out in pain, derailing me from my focus. Back labor is just awful....

In retrospect, I wish I had declined that final check, but labor is a funky thing. With both of my births I have found that when someone tells me to do something, I've found that I generally just do it without thinking, despite all the plans I had made previously.

I remember looking at the bed after my water had been broken and saw my mucus plug and bloody show on the pad. Who would have thought that at 9 cm dilated that those two things would still be firmly in place? My water was clear, so thankfully I'd be allowed to get in the pool. I was told that if my water had meconium in it I wouldn't be allowed to labor or deliver in the pool. I had one contraction after my water was broken, and man they don't lie when they say that contractions are more intense after your water breaks.

After all of that, the pool was finally ready and I was chomping at the bit to get in it. The warm water felt amazing, and really helped to take the edge off the contractions. Almost as soon as I was in the water, my body started to push on its own. I was kneeling in the pool, hanging over the edge and pushing, and pushing and pushing.....and getting nowhere. After a while, my midwife checked me while I was in the pool and discovered that I had an anterior lip of cervix caught between my pubic bone and the baby's head which was now swollen. So, my midwife had me flip over on my back to push for a few contractions while she tried to move the lip of my cervix out of the way. #1. it hurt like hell to be on my back again, #2. it hurt even more when she was messing with my cervix. I believe I was screaming in pain.

My midwife couldn't get my cervix to move out of the way while I was in the pool, so she then wanted me to get out of the pool and onto the bed. The move out of the pool took an immense amount of strength for me. I did not want to move. I was in pain, out of focus and just wanted to be left alone. I remember that I was thinking that I just wanted this to be over, and I wanted a break. I even had thoughts of wanting a C-section so I could be done. I never voiced those thoughts, and eventually I did make it onto the bed. I believe Josh and the nurses had to almost physically haul me out of the tub.

And, once again I was put on my back while my midwife tried to move my cervix out of the way. It was more painful than it sounds. I remember yelling quite fiercely while she was moving it, and begging for her to stop. She kept telling me that I wouldn't like her during this, but I would like her afterward, and she was right. Eventually she got the lip out of the way. She had me then get on my knees and push on the bed for two contractions, to get the baby's head below the lip. That time it worked, and I could get back in the pool. However, I didn't want to move. I remember telling everyone to leave me alone, that I just wanted to relax and have some downtime. My contractions had spaced out and weren't as hard as the transition contractions, and I just breathed through them without bearing down, giving myself a little rest. I was tired, and my energy was draining, and I really just wanted a nap. My doula was strongly encouraging me to get back in the water before I had the baby on the bed, and eventually I summoned the strength to move again.

As soon as I started pushing in the pool, I could feel the baby moving down. And, fairly soon the head was right there, ready to come out. That feeling, freaked me the hell out. It burned oh so badly. I felt like I was stretched to the max and was about to tear from stem to stern. But, Josh, my mom, my midwife and doula helped me get refocused. Seriously, Josh was amazing the whole time. He really was my rock and kept me focused and determined. He was repeating the mantra I'd been saying to myself my whole pregnancy: I can do anything for one minute. That helped snap me out of my freakout. I also remember my midwife telling me that I was fine, and that I wasn't going to tear apart, which was reassuring. They then helped me widen my knees and when I was pushing I would sit back, almost in a child's pose, or as close to child's pose as a pregnant, laboring woman can get. Seriously, my face was in the water as I was pushing. After a few more times pushing like that, and out the baby came. I believe the baby came out in one push. One of the nurses later told me that the baby ended up doing a flip in the water as he came out.

The next thing I heard was Josh announcing that the baby was a boy! It took some fancy maneuvering since he came out so fast behind me, but I was able to stand up, step over the cord, sit back down in the water and then he was handed to me. For the next while I was holding our son to my belly (the cord was too short to reach to my chest) skin to skin in the water and just marveling him. I just kept thinking how beautiful he was. He was squishy and plump and perfect in every way. He cried a few times, and then was just alert and calm, snuggling with me. Josh was leaning over the pool and I could hear in his voice that he was tearing up. It was a very beautiful moment.

Soon enough the cord stopped pulsating and Josh cut the cord. Not long after, I handed Josh the baby to do skin to skin with while I got out of the tub. I got up on the bed and I was covered with warm blankets, and then the baby was handed back to me. He nestled right on my chest, and was just beautiful. It's at that point that we decided to name him Benjamin.

I definitely remember still having contractions after Ben was born, which I still had to breathe through, but I didn't care about them. Instead, I was irritated at the umbilical cord, because it just kept seeming to get in the way and rub places that it did not feel good to rub against. Thankfully, not long after getting up on the bed I delivered the placenta, which didn't hurt at all. I had a tear (no idea on the degree, I never asked), which required stitches (I have no idea how many). My midwife gave me a few shots to numb the area, which stung, and then I could feel her stitching me up, feel the thread pulling through skin, but oddly it didn't hurt. All while that was happening the nurses were assessing Ben on my chest. Ben's APGAR scores were 9 and 9.

We got over an hour of skin to skin time before Ben was taken to be weighed. It seemed no one in the room could agree on how much they thought he'd weigh. The nurses all suspected that he'd be around 7 lbs, but we were all surprised when he was 8 lbs, 6 oz. He was 20.5 inches long, with a head circumference of 14 inches.

After everything was all said and done, and we had been moved from Labor and Delivery to the Mother/Baby suite, things settled down and I was finally able to really connect with my son. I've read account after account of women getting that natural oxytocin rush immediately after delivery, but that overwhelming feeling of love, comfort and peace didn't come to me until about 3+ hours after Ben was born. I believe because those first two hours are so busy, with so many people working on you and assessing the baby, even while you're holding him, that it's hard to just sit and relax and bond. But, once it was just me and my husband alone with Benjamin, that overwhelming feeling of love started to flow. Even now, over 6 months later, I still get that feeling whenever I look at my boys.

Benjamin was born at 4:23 in the morning on June 19, 2016 - Father's Day. I think that he was the best Father's Day gift that we could have asked for!
Story and photographs submitted by Amanda C.

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To tell you about the birth of my second child, I have to tell you about the birth of my first child. With my first pregnancy I had Gestational Diabetes, and Gestational Hypertension and due to mounting concerns from my midwives from my rising blood pressure and heart rate, I was induced at 39 weeks.

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Always Ask - please share [full version]

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Being your own champion during pregnancy is important. We know that over 60% of women worry about wasting their midwives' time. That's why Tommy's has launched a new campaign called #AlwaysAsk to encourage you to trust your instincts and not be afraid to ask about your concerns.

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Ideally start focussing on your positions from 34 weeks to help baby get into optimum fetal positioning for labour

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While there's definitely no right or wrong position for your baby to hang out in in your womb, labour's definitely easier if they're facing a certain way. That's head down, with their tummy facing your back.

Some babies though will lie with their back against your back, known as being in the 'occiput posterior' (OP) position.

"If they're in that position, giving birth tends to take longer - words no-one wants to hear. It's because your baby can't tuck their chin in so easily and that makes getting through the pelvis more awkward."

Giving birth to a back-to-back baby can also give you backache while you're in labour (Simpkin, 2010; RCM, 2012).

Here are some tips to help during pregnancy.

1. Lean forward

Forward-leaning positions, like getting on all fours, have often been recommended. There's no evidence that this can help turn your baby but it can reduce any backache that you're suffering because of the baby's position (Hunter et al, 2007). So it's definitely worth a go.

It can also be helpful in the first stages of labour to ease backache (Guittier et al, 2016).

2. Don't panic

In the end, your baby is very likely to end up in the occiput anterior position - one of the best positions. Only five to eight of every 100 babies end up back-to-back with you anyway (Tommy's, 2016). So try not to worry too much.

3. Get into positions where your pelvis and belly tilt forwards

Some ways to do that are:

Sit upright on a chair making sure your knees are lower than your pelvis and your torso is slightly tilted forwards.

Sit on a swiss ball.

Watch your favourite Netflix show while kneeling on the floor, over a beanbag or cushion or sit on a dining chair.

Use yoga positions, like sitting with your back upright and the soles of the feet together, knees out to the sides.

Sit on a wedge cushion in the car, so your pelvis is tilted forwards.

Sleep on your side, not on your back.

Swim with your belly downwards.

Any exercises that you do on all fours can be helpful too.

(Sutton and Scott, 1996; Andrew, 2010)

4. Avoid certain positions:

Sometimes you won't be able to but if you can, ditch:

deep squats

crossing your legs

sitting with feet raised

leaning back into a sofa or armchair.

Further information

Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700.

We also offer antenatal courses which are a great way to find out more about pregnancy, labour and life with a new baby.

Andrew CG. (2010) Considering non-optimal fetal positioning and pelvic girdle dysfunction in pregnancy: increasing the available space. Journal of Clinical Chiropractic Pediatrics. 11(2):783-788. Available from: http://jccponline.com/jccp_v11_n2.pdf [Accessed 13th August 2018]

Guittier MJ, Othenin-Girard V, de Gasquet B, Irion O, Boulvain M. (2016) Maternal positioning to correct occiput posterior position during the first stage of labour: a randomised controlled trial. BJOG. 123;2199-2207. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5132127/ [Accessed 13th August 2018]

Hunter S, Hofmeyr GJ, Kulier R. (2007) Hands and knees posture in late pregnancy or labour for fetal malposition (lateral or posterior). Cochrane Database Syst Rev.(4):CD001063. Available from: https://www.cochranelibrary.com/cdsr/doi/10.1002/14651858.CD001063.pub3/full [Accessed 13th August 2018]

RCM. (2012) Evidence based guidelines for midwifery-led care in labour: persistent lateral and posterior fetal positions at the onset of labour. Available from: https://www.rcm.org.uk/sites/default/files/Persistent Lateral and Posterior Fetal Positions at the Onset of Labour.pdf [Accessed 13th August 2018]

Simkin P. (2010) The fetal occiput position: state of the science and a new perspective. Birth. 37(1):61-71. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20402724 [Accessed 13th August 2018]

Sutton J, Scott P. (1996) Understanding and teaching optimal foetal positioning. Tauranga: New Zealand.

Tommy's (2016) Getting your baby into the best birth position. Available from: https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy/labour-birth/baby-best-position-birth [Accessed 13th August 2018]
Further reading
Andrews CM, Andrews EC. (1983) Nursing, maternal postures and fetal positions. Nursing Research. 32:336-341. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6567853 [Accessed 13th August 2018]

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Tips: how to get your back-to-back baby into position for birth

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While there's definitely no right or wrong position for your baby to hang out in in your womb, labour's definitely easier if they're facing a certain way. That's head down, with their tummy facing your back. Some babies though will lie with their back against your back, known as being in the 'occiput posterior' (OP) position.

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Building a brain. baby development in pregnancy and beyond

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Building a brain. baby development in pregnancy and beyond

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Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University

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Early experiences affect the development of brain architecture, which provides the foundation for all future learning, behavior, and health.

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Building a society that supports men as hands-on fathers and father-figures

The Fatherhood Institute is a UK charity working to build a society that values, prepares, and supports men as involved fathers and caregivers.

Evidence shows that involved fatherhood has unique and significant impacts on children, mothers, and fathers themselves; improves children's wellbeing and outcomes; and helps progress towards gender equality at home and in the workplace.

Our work focuses on research, policy, and practice. We publish research reviews, take part in new studies and test promising family interventions; advocate for policy change; produce practice resources; and train practitioners in perinatal, early years, education, and social care services.

In July 2023 we started a Parliamentary petition calling on the Government to improve its statutory paternity offer, by:

​

Paying employed fathers two weeks' paternity leave at 90% of salary

​

Introducing a 'daddy month' of four weeks' parental leave, paid at the same rate

​

Introducing a Paternity Allowance for fathers who are not employees

If 10,000 people sign the petition by 11 January 2024, the Government will have to respond to this proposal.

Our policy work streams

Discover our work to create more father-inclusive policies and services

Our research

Read our high-quality research reviews, co-investigations with eminent universities, and empirical research

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The Fatherhood Institute is a UK charity working to build a society that values, prepares, and supports men as involved fathers and caregivers. Our work focuses on research, policy, and practice.

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Details of telephone and online support available 24 hours a day.

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The baby sleep
info source

For parents who wish to make informed
choices about infant sleep and night-time care.

About us

Welcome to Baby Sleep Info

This website presents research evidence about biologically normal sleep for human babies.

We discuss how infant sleep may vary due to cultural behaviours and expectations such as what babies are fed, where they sleep, and how we interpret their needs. This information is for:

parents who wish to make informed choices about infant sleep and night-time care

health practitioners who wish to share evidence-based information with parents about infant sleep.

Basis does not address clinical sleep problems or provide individual sleep advice and parents should contact a health practitioner with any concerns about their baby's health. For information about the organisations and funding that support Basis please see ' About Us '

Get the App

The Infant Sleep Info App provides key information from the Basis website in a handy format for mobile devices. Covering normal sleep development, sleep location and sleep safety the familiar info from the website is delivered in smaller chunks. Two features are exclusive to the app.

Get it Now

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Research-based information on baby sleep for parents and practitioners, covering normal infant sleep, sleep safety, where and how babies sleep, SIDS and SUDI, parental sleep and free resources.

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Credit: Alexander Raths | Dreamstime

A new study from Japan confirms what many mothers may know instinctively: Picking up and carrying a fussy baby usually calms down and relaxes the child, making the move a good one for both moms and infants.

When mothers in the study carried their babies while walking around, the infants became noticeably more relaxed and stopped crying and squirming. The babies' rapidly beating hearts also slowed down, evidence that the children were feeling calmer.

"Infants become calm and relaxed when they are carried by their mother," said study researcher Dr. Kumi Kuroda, who investigates social behavior at the RIKEN Brain Science Institute in Saitama, Japan. The study observed strikingly similar responses in mouse babies.

Since carrying (meaning holding while walking) can help stop an infant from crying, Kuroda said, it can offer mothers a way to soothe short-term irritations to their children, such as scary noises or vaccinations.

The findings were published online today (April 18) in the journal Current Biology.

A strong calming effect

For the small study, researchers monitored the responses of 12 healthy infants ages 1 month to 6 months. The scientists wanted to discover the most effective way for mothers to calm a crying baby over a 30-second period - simply holding the baby or carrying the infant while walking.

Young babies carried by a walking mother were the most relaxed and soothed, compared with infants whose mothers sat in a chair and held them, the study found. As a mother stood up and started to walk with her child cradled close in her arms, scientists observed an automatic change in the baby's behavior.

These results held even after the researchers took into account other factors, such as the child's age and sex, and the mother's age and walking speed.

Kuroda said she was surprised by the strength of the calming effect from maternal holding and walking. In observing experiments on both humans and mice, she was amazed at how quicklythe heart rate slowed, and by how much immediately after a mother started walking. (Mother mice pick up their young by the scruff of their neck with their mouths.)

According to the researchers, maternal walking may be more effective in calming infants than other kinds of rhythmic motion, such as rocking.

Advice for parents

When an underlying reason for crying persists, such as hunger or sustained pain, the infant may start crying again soon after the end of carrying.

That's why Kuroda recommended that when a baby starts crying, a brief period of carrying may help parents to identify the cause of the tears. She acknowledged carrying might not completely stop the crying, but it may prevent parents from becoming frustrated by a crying infant.

The findings also have implications for one parenting technique in which parents let babies cry as a way to help them learn to fall asleep by themselves, the researchers said.

"Our study suggests why some babies do not respond well to the 'cry-it-out' parenting method," Kuroda said.

Proponents of the technique advise parents to let infants, after a certain age, cry themselves to sleep - without mom or dad comforting them - in the hopes the baby will learn how to soothe himself or herself.

But Kuroda said that calming by maternal carrying, as well as crying during separation, are both built-in mechanisms for infant survival. These behaviors have been hard-wired for millions of years. "Changing these reactions would be possible as infants are flexible, but it may take time," she said.

Although this study looked at a baby's behavior in response to its mother, Kuroda said the effect is not specific to moms, and any primary caregiver for the infant can perform the carrying. The researchers observed the same carrying-induced calming effects when fathers, grandmothers and an unfamiliar female with caregiving experience carried babies who were under 2 months old, Kuroda said.

Pass it on: Picking up and carrying a crying infant will automatically calm the child.

This story was provided by HealthNewsDaily, a sister site to LiveScience. Follow MyHealthNewsDaily @MyHealth_MHND, Facebook & Google+.

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A new study from Japan confirms what many mothers may know instinctively: Picking up and carrying a fussy baby usually calms down and relaxes the child, making the move a good one for both moms and infants. When mothers in the study carried their babies while walking around, the infants became noticeably more relaxed and stopped crying and squirming.

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Birth to Five Timeline

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Help us help you get the treatment you need

Because of coronavirus (COVID-19), it can be hard to know what to do if you're unwell. It's important to get medical help if you think you need it.

For help from a GP - use your GP surgery's website, use an online service or app, or call the surgery.

For urgent medical help - use the NHS 111 online service, or call 111 if you're unable to get help online.

For life-threatening emergencies - call 999 for an ambulance.

If you're advised to go to hospital, it's important to go.

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Help us help you get the treatment you need Because of coronavirus (COVID-19), it can be hard to know what to do if you're unwell. It's important to get medical help if you think you need it. For help from a GP - use your GP surgery's website, use an online service or app, or call the surgery.

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Links at the bottom of the article to organisations who can help if you are struggling with crying

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The need to soothe your little one - and frustration if you can't - can be overwhelming. But it is important to try to look after yourself during these challenging times too. A calm baby can begin with calm parents.

Crying is normal behaviour for babies and there are lots of reasons why they might cry. Watch our video to find out more.

Try the following to keep your tension levels down and navigate through their tears (and yours).

1. Take a break

Ask for help. From your partner, your family or a close friend. A support network is vital in those early days and people will love to come over to help. They are often itching for you to reach out and invite them for baby cuddles.

If you don't have a partner or friends and family nearby, try prioritising your own needs when your baby is sleeping or settled. That way you can revive yourself too.

2. Step away from the baby

If you're unable to soothe their cries and feel yourself getting increasingly upset or agitated, take some time out. Put your baby in a safe environment, such as their crib, pram or floor mat (before they are rolling) and go and sit down, make a cup of tea, or call someone for support.

A baby crying for just a few minutes like this isn't going to do them any harm. It can actually help you reset to be able to respond to their needs better.

3. Think back to birth breathing

Perhaps you learnt breathing techniques as part of birth preparations. These can be used once your baby is born too.

Either step away from the baby and take a few minutes to breathe deeply or employ this deep breathing while holding your baby. Think back to a pregnancy yoga class or a favourite calming song or experience, and breathe deep, rhythmical breaths. You and your baby are so closely connected that this may well calm them too.

4. Keep your emotional strength up

Lack of sleep, hunger and feeling isolated can all make it harder to cope with your baby's tears. Try to build your resilience by napping in the afternoon when possible and ensuring you eat well. Boosting your emotional wellbeing means you are better able to face your baby's cries and respond to their needs.

5. Don't hide away

Some parents are afraid to venture out if their baby cries a lot. But the fresh air and social interactions can be a fantastic respite for you and them.

Your friends, family, or other parents you meet are bound to understand - they've been there too. You'll also find numerous baby-friendly parks, cafes and play spaces where crying babies are the rule not the exception.

6. Attend to their needs, wherever you are

Don't be afraid to stop, wherever you are, and attend to your baby. Perfect strangers can often turn into best friends during your time of need and offer to help in the most wonderful of ways.

New parents up and down the country, right now, are feeding/burping/ changing their babies in car parks, car boots, side roads, restaurants and a thousand other places. More often than not, parents tell us that people are very happy for you to soothe your crying baby wherever and whenever.

7. A new normal

As time goes on, your baby will cry less as you learn to anticipate their needs. You'll also learn what's normal for them and when to be concerned. Take comfort in the fact that like every stage, this crying phase won't last forever.

8. Your network is broader than you think

New mums and dads can access a number of resources, although some are not immediately obvious. As well as friends and family, don't be afraid to call your health visitor or GP. This is especially true if you're afraid your frustration is getting too much and you're at risk of harming your baby.

Extreme cases where parents don't cope well with a crying baby and shake, throw or roughly handle them, can lead to death or long-term disability (Reijneveld et al, 2004).

Make sure you reach out before it gets too much. The NSPCC 's website is a useful resource as are the resources mentioned below.
This page was last reviewed in March 2022.
Further information

Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0333 252 5051.

You might find attending one of our Early Days groups helpful as they give you the opportunity to explore different approaches to important parenting issues with a qualified group leader and other new parents in your area.

Make friends with other parents-to-be and new parents in your local area for support and friendship by seeing what NCT activities are happening nearby.

Watch our coping with crying film.

Understanding childhood also have a range of resources available online and to download, developed by child psychotherapists, including a leaflet on crying.

There's also useful information on the NHS website.

The NSPCC helpline provides help and support to thousands of parents and families.

The Lullaby Trust has lots of useful information and support for parents about safe sleep.

Other useful websites include Cry-sis, Care for the Family and Family Lives.

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How to cope and keep calm with a crying baby | Baby & toddler articles & support | NCT

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The need to soothe your little one - and frustration if you can't - can be overwhelming. But it is important to try to look after yourself during these challenging times too. A calm baby can begin with calm parents. Crying is normal behaviour for babies and there are lots of reasons why they might cry.

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When it comes to giving birth, most women want to know: how much is it going to hurt and will I be able to cope with the pain? Unfortunately, you can't answer either of these questions with certainty. But what you can do is improve your ability to cope with pain during labour, as well as understand your options for pain relief and their impact on you, your labour and baby.

Your birth partner(s) will make a huge difference to how you feel during labour. Emotional support, such as encouragement and reassurance from somebody you trust, can really boost your confidence and ability to cope with pain when you need it most.

Here we look at the different pain relief options that are available during labour.

Overcoming fear during labour

Labour is complex but, unfortunately, fear can affect this amazing process.

Fear makes you release adrenaline, which slows down the production of oxytocin and prepares your body to fight or run away (not helpful when you're trying to give birth). This makes your contractions less efficient and you focus on the pain and feel worse. So staying calm is the key to coping with pain.

To help you feel relaxed, it's good to read up on what happens during labour and choose a place to give birth where you feel safe.

It'll help to choose the right person to be your birth partner to help you cope with the pain and discomfort of labour more easily. It should be a person you trust, and who can give you encouragement, reassurance, listen to you and just be there. Research has shown that emotional support is important for women in labour.

Attending antenatal classes is also a really useful way of preparing for labour and gaining an understanding of what will happen on the day.

If it feels really tough, ask your midwife how you are getting on. Positive encouragement - knowing you are coping really well and making good progress - can make all the difference.

Position and movement in labour

Labour can last a long time so, at the beginning, try movement, upright positions, massage and water to help you cope. If you head straight for maximum pain relief, you'll never know how other things can help - plus your labour may end up being even longer.

Lying on your back can make your contractions slower and more painful. Different positions and movement, such as rocking, swaying and leaning forwards, maximises your body's ability to give birth as it helps ease your baby along the birth canal.

Pros

Maximises your body's ability to give birth.

No lasting side-effects for you or your baby

Cons

Try not to overdo it; saving energy is also important. Lying on your side for a while or sitting up supported by lots of pillows can help your body to work really well while you conserve energy.

Water and birthing pools in labour

Water soothes pain and, in a large birthing pool, supports you, enabling you to glide into any position. For more about water births and using water during labour, see here.

TENS (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation) machine in labour

A TENS machine transmits mild electrical impulses to pads on your back. These block pain signals and help your body to produce endorphins. For more about the pros and cons of TENS, see here.

Complementary therapies

Various complementary therapies are available, such as acupuncture, aromatherapy, reflexology, yoga, self-hypnosis and massage.

Pros

Some studies show acupuncture is helpful.

Massage or pressure on the lower part of your back can help reduce levels of stress and ease discomfort, too.

You can learn self-hypnosis techniques for labour by attending a course or using CDs; you don't have to have a hypnotherapist with you in labour.

Cons

There is little research proving the effectiveness of these treatments though lots of women say that they found these techniques useful.

Apart from massage and self-hypnosis, you will need a registered practitioner to perform the therapies.

Sterile water injections

Sterile water injections involve injecting a tiny bit of water into the skin of your lower back to help with back pain during labour. For more about sterile water injections, see here.

Gas and air (Entonox) in labour

Entonox is a colourless, odourless gas made up of half nitrous oxide and half oxygen. You'll probably be given gas and air through a mouthpiece and told how to breathe it in. Read more about Entonox here.

Painkilling drugs in labour (opioids such as pethidine, diamorphine, meptid and remifentanil)

Pethidine, diamorphine and meptid are pain relieving drugs given by injection into the thigh. Some hospitals offer remifentanil, which is a very strong, short-acting painkiller given via a drip that you can control yourself using a machine. For more details, see our articles about intramuscular opioids and remifentanil.

Epidural

Epidural analgesia is a local anaesthetic injected into the space between two vertebra in your back. It usually removes all pain and most feeling from the waist down.

The combined spinal epidural (CSE) injection contains a low dose of pain-relieving drugs and works more quickly than an epidural alone. Read more about their pros and cons in our articles about epidurals and CSEs.

Top tips for labour

The following tips have been found to be useful by women in labour:

1. Before labour, spend some time imagining having your new baby in your arms after the birth and that all is well. Imagining that you did it, and that you did it as you wanted, creates a positive picture to focus on.

2. Moving about helps labour to progress and women have said they were better able to work with the pain while rocking and leaning forwards (the pressure of the baby's head on the cervix will promote the release of oxytocin as well as endorphins - the body's natural pain relievers). Focus on letting go and relaxing any muscles that aren't needed to hold you in a position.

3. Focus on the out breath during a contraction. Keep the breathing calm and rhythmic.

4. Make a noise if you want to - be somewhere with people that are happy for you to moan, grunt, sigh or even swear if that helps.

5. Belly-dancing, hip-wriggling and stepping movements all help your baby settle into a good position to be born.

6. Massage or pressure on the lower part of your back just above the top of your bottom can help.

7. Water helps women relax and move more easily; being in a pool can give women a feeling of safety and security.

8. Positive, affirmative thoughts and supportive comments from birth partners help to promote confidence in the process. 'You are doing well - your body is made for this - feel the power of your body - your body knows how to do this - each pain is progress' are all positive and encouraging statements.

9. During labour, think about welcoming each contraction. As your contractions become stronger, longer and closer together your body is getting ready to give birth.

10. Rest, relax and conserve energy between contractions as labour progresses.

11. Have confidence in your own self-help resources.

12. Acknowledge that labour is unpredictable and that uncertainty is difficult to go along with. Try to go with the flow.

Recognising the point at which labour feels worst - when you have had enough - is often the point just before you are ready to start pushing your baby out. Having people with you who help you feel strong and capable can make all the difference.

Do what feels best for you

Every labour is different and each woman should choose whatever she needs to help her work with the pain of labour. Most importantly, have confidence that you can do it.
This page was last reviewed in August 2019.
Further information

Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700.

We also offer antenatal courses which are a great way to find out more about pregnancy and life with a new baby.

NHS Choices guide to pain relief.

Research from the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) about the use of water as pain relief in labour.

Information from NHS Choices about complementary therapies during pregnancy and before birth.

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Pain relief in labour | Labour & birth articles & support | NCT

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Find out about the different options available for pain relief in labour and childbirth, including epidural, pethidine, TENS and other ways to reduce pain.

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What makes for the perfect birth environment?

The perfect environment for giving birth is:

These five elements will help you to feel relaxed and secure. Your body can then release the hormone you need for labour to progress (oxytocin), and the hormones that will help you through labour (endorphins). If you feel safe and undisturbed, you will be able to focus on giving birth to your baby.

So whether you're planning to give birth at home, in a birth centre, or in hospital, take some time to think about how you will create these five elements.

How do I create my own perfect birth environment?

Plan what you will need with your birth partner. It will be his job to create that environment, and to protect it, once your labour has started. He'll be the guardian of your birth space, and your midwife can help him to adapt the birth room to meet your needs.

Create a nesting area
This may involve moving furniture around or softening the room with cushions and blankets. At home you can use the furniture as props. You could hold on to the kitchen surface and rock your way through a contraction. Or you may prefer to lean over the sofa and doze in between contractions. In hospital, you may choose to ask for any unnecessary technical equipment to be moved out of sight.

Make sure that the bed is pushed to the side of the room to reduce the chance of you lying flat on your back on it. Use mats, beanbags, cushions, blankets and a birth ball to make yourself comfortable. Remember that upright positions will help your labour to progress.

Adjust the heating and lighting
At home use candles, tea lights, dimmer switches and fairy lights to make soft, calm, ambient lighting. Whatever the season, you want to be comfortably warm, so keep out draughts, turn up the thermostat if you need to, or put the fire on.

However, it's always hot in hospitals! Use dimmer switches, if there are any, to adjust the lighting. You could take along battery-operated lights which you can buy from hardware or camping shops or garden centres. Some hospital units are better designed than others, but there will always be an anglepoise lamp. If all else fails, turn the lamp towards the wall and turn off overhead lighting to create a soft glow.

Shut the doors and draw the curtains

Don't be afraid to close doors or draw the curtains. Privacy is not just about being watched, it's also about being heard. You need to feel able to move around, make noise, and wear what's comfortable. Playing music may help you to feel more confident about making noise as well as filtering out other people's noise.

Have someone with you who you trust
Continuous support from someone you trust right from the start of labour will help your labour to progress. It will help you feel safe and protected. Your supporter could be your partner, a close friend or relative, or a doula. You could have two supporters lined up so that one can take over from the other as your labour progresses.

Keep chat to a minimum and turn off your mobile
Distractions can be useful, and laughter is good for you, particularly early on. However, as labour becomes more established, it will take more of your energy and concentration. During contractions you will need to focus on your breathing.

A ringing phone or constant text messages can intrude on your privacy, and even produce adrenaline. This can interfere with the hormone oxytocin which you need to give birth. If the room is dark, people will be quieter. People automatically drop their voice in a darker room. Likewise, playing soft music or ambient noise prevents people from getting nervous and talking to fill the silence.

Surround yourself with familiar smells
You can use essential oils to help your labour. Or you might prefer familiar, homely smells. Nuzzling into your partner's neck, or a pillow or throw from home, may work for you.

Cover any visible clocks
It can be useful to check in with the contractions every so often, but you don't want to count or time every one. If you measure labour in terms of the number of minutes or contractions, this is how it will pass.

You don't know how long labour will be, and time doesn't mean anything until afterwards. Try to focus on being in the moment. Endorphins will help with this, as they can alter your perception of time, which is perfect for labour!

Try to create the same sort of atmosphere as you would for a romantic night in. After all, oxytocin is the hormone of love and lactation, as well as labour. It helped you to fall in love with your partner and conceive your baby, and it will help you to bond with and breastfeed your baby after the birth, too.

Oxytocin and labour work best under the same conditions as when you make love. This is when you feel safe, secure, warm and undisturbed.

See our video on how to help your baby be born, or discover how other women stayed calm in labour.

References

Buckley SJ. 2002. Ecstatic birth. Mothering 111 mothering.com [Accessed April 2012]

Buckley SJ. 2004. Undisturbed birth - nature's hormonal blueprint for safety, ease and ecstasy. MIDIRS Midwifery Digest 14(2):203-9

Hodnett ED, Downe S, Walsh D, et al. 2010. Alternative versus conventional institutional settings for birth. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews (9): CD000012. onlinelibrary.wiley.com [pdf file, accessed April 2012]

Hodnett ED, Gates S, Hofmeyr GJ, et al. 2011. Continuous support for women during childbirth. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews (2): CD003766. onlinelibrary.wiley.com [pdf file, accessed April 2012]

Kitzinger S. 2003 The new pregnancy and childbirth: Choices and challenges. 4th edition. London: Dorling Kindersley

Lothian JA. 2004. Do not disturb: the importance of privacy in labor. J Perinatal Ed 13(3):4-6

NCCWCH. 2007. Intrapartum care: care of healthy women and their babies during childbirth. National Collaborating Centre for Women's and Children's Health, Clinical guideline. London: RCOG Press. www.nice.org.uk [pdf file, accessed April 2012]

Chess Thomas is BabyCentre's research editor and a qualified antenatal teacher.

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Creating the perfect environment for giving birth

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The perfect environment for giving birth is: These five elements will help you to feel relaxed and secure. Your body can then release the hormone you need for labour to progress (oxytocin), and the hormones that will help you through labour (endorphins).

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Super better app. Get some self love in your life

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Super better app. Get some self love in your life

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SuperBetter uses the psychology of game play in all of life to improve resilience, mental health and social-emotional learning. Played by over 1 million people, SuperBetter unlocks your heroic potential to overcome obstacles and achieve your goals.
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SuperBetter uses the psychology of game play in all of life to improve resilience, mental health and social-emotional learning. Played by over 1 million people, SuperBetter unlocks your heroic potential to overcome obstacles and achieve your goals. How it Works

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Building a society that supports men as hands-on fathers and father-figures

The Fatherhood Institute is a UK charity working to build a society that values, prepares, and supports men as involved fathers and caregivers.

Evidence shows that involved fatherhood has unique and significant impacts on children, mothers, and fathers themselves; improves children's wellbeing and outcomes; and helps progress towards gender equality at home and in the workplace.

Our work focuses on research, policy, and practice. We publish research reviews, take part in new studies and test promising family interventions; advocate for policy change; produce practice resources; and train practitioners in perinatal, early years, education, and social care services.

In July 2023 we started a Parliamentary petition calling on the Government to improve its statutory paternity offer, by:

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Paying employed fathers two weeks' paternity leave at 90% of salary

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Introducing a 'daddy month' of four weeks' parental leave, paid at the same rate

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Introducing a Paternity Allowance for fathers who are not employees

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The Fatherhood Institute is a UK charity working to build a society that values, prepares, and supports men as involved fathers and caregivers. Our work focuses on research, policy, and practice.

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A little bit of humour goes a long way!

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When you first become a parent you notice quite quickly that you are doing everything wrong. There are various helpful sources from which to learn all the wrong things you are doing... One of the first things I learnt I was doing wrong was letting the baby nap on me. This was a very bad thing. Gina Ford said that babies should nap in dark rooms for 2.5 hours and wake up feeling happy and refreshed.

This all sounded great but unfortunately the baby had other ideas. He liked to sleep for 20 minutes and woke up like a snarling rage monster.

He slept ok in the pram and in the car but those things were also bad because he was not learning to 'self-settle' which is the holy grail of parenting.

By failing to have a baby that self-settled I was making a rod for my own back - he would never be able so sleep alone!

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Monday
AM: Go to the park, watch children start throwing sand into faces of other children, threaten children, get rained on, drag children home screaming.
PM: Try and rescue the day by doing a wholesome activity such a crafting. Observe how it rapidly transcends into casual violence.

Tuesday
AM: Take children out on a trip to 'fun family farm'. Haemorrhage £50 and get told 'I HATE YOU!' because you won't buy a freakish looking Alpaca toy in the gift shop.

PM: Give kids iPad so they can watch other people open Surprise Eggs on YouTube.

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It's easy to look at pregnant women and seemingly perfect nuclear families and think, 'Wow, don't they have it all!' If you are in the zone of desperately wanting a child and it being out of reach, almost everyone around you seems to hold what you are missing.

But what you don't see is their journey. You can't see years of fertility treatment, failed attempts at IVF, miscarriages or the tiny babies lost. If you are lucky you will have experienced none of these things; in the worst situations some couples experience them all.

But often we just don't know because we don't talk about it. Or even if we do, we then quickly sweep it under the carpet because people, myself included, get all awkward when they have to discuss sad stuff. Serious stuff. Let's just have a cup of tea and call it 'one of those things'.

Have you ever had a conversation with a friend who told you that she's miscarried and then quickly brushed it away because 'It happens all the time' - you can see that her eyes have started to water and she's struggling to make eye contact because it doesn't really matter how long she was pregnant for or how big or small the baby got - it was a life, there was so much excitement, so much potential and then suddenly it's all gone, to be treated like a common cold: grow up, get over it, everyone has them! Except a couple of paracetamol doesn't provide a quick fix when it comes to miscarriages.

Years later, when hopefully those couples have a child or children of their own, they may still feel like they are not allowed to mention their journey any more because ultimately they got their dream. But you are still allowed to feel that loss aren't you?

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# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
When you first become a parent you notice quite quickly that you are doing everything wrong. There are various helpful sources from which to learn all the wrong things you are doing... One of the first things I learnt I was doing wrong was letting the baby nap on me.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Building a society that supports men as hands-on fathers and father-figures

The Fatherhood Institute is a UK charity working to build a society that values, prepares, and supports men as involved fathers and caregivers.

Evidence shows that involved fatherhood has unique and significant impacts on children, mothers, and fathers themselves; improves children's wellbeing and outcomes; and helps progress towards gender equality at home and in the workplace.

Our work focuses on research, policy, and practice. We publish research reviews, take part in new studies and test promising family interventions; advocate for policy change; produce practice resources; and train practitioners in perinatal, early years, education, and social care services.

In July 2023 we started a Parliamentary petition calling on the Government to improve its statutory paternity offer, by:

​

Paying employed fathers two weeks' paternity leave at 90% of salary

​

Introducing a 'daddy month' of four weeks' parental leave, paid at the same rate

​

Introducing a Paternity Allowance for fathers who are not employees

If 10,000 people sign the petition by 11 January 2024, the Government will have to respond to this proposal.

Our policy work streams

Discover our work to create more father-inclusive policies and services

Our research

Read our high-quality research reviews, co-investigations with eminent universities, and empirical research

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The Fatherhood Institute is a UK charity working to build a society that values, prepares, and supports men as involved fathers and caregivers. Our work focuses on research, policy, and practice.

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