# data[].attributes.body
The evidence does not relate to how Bianca acts it just talks about how Baptista will only let the man with the best offer marry Bianca. The evidence should relate more towards her behavior. -Amina Q.

# data[].attributes.body
There could be better evidence because the evidence doesn’t relate to the claim

# data[].attributes.body
The evidence given, doesn’t support the claim. Try changing your claim to something like “Baptistia is one character who fits the expectations...” or change your evidence to something that Bianca has done herself, that shows her following societal standards.

# data[].attributes.body
Great last sentence. I suggest including it’s idea in your beggining claim because it’s a great reason why Bianca obeys society. You could say that she obeys because she doesn’t fight her fathers choice. The sentence explaining her father restrtricting her rights could either be added to or deleted. If you keep it, I think you should mention how women were property.

# data[].attributes.body
The quote has nothing to do with the claim, there could be a quote more related to Beianca’s behavior

# data[].attributes.body
Make sure to have the evidence connect to the claim because it seemed like two different ideas

# data[].attributes.body
Doesn’t relate much to the claim. No developed background to fit the claim. Quote doesn’t come from Bianca herself.

# data[].attributes.body
This student sample includes a claim for me understand what they are trying to write about. They just threw random information into the paragraph and it didn’t connect to the claim they stated. I was very confused on what they were trying to say because there was nothing for me connect too.

# data[].attributes.body
The points given do not relate to the claim stated. They related to two different people and was not clear when explaining why with the quote.

# data[].attributes.body
So the claim is talking about how Bianca fits the elizebeth era and Baptista is talking about her and how everyone wants to merry her

# data[].attributes.body
I believe this student has a strong quote, but it doesn’t necessarily fit either the claim that Bianca fits social expectations, since it mainly focuses more on how her father’s actions fit the timeline. Therefore the student should find evidence that supports how Bianca fits with societal expectations.

# data[].attributes.body
Narrow your claim down it doesn’t really make much sense try to turn it into one sentence instead of two.

# data[].attributes.body
The claim was clear and stated but her intro to evidence was unclear and didn’t match what the claim was talking about. This person went from talking about Biancas personality and then talking about how Baptista doesn’t want her to get married and it doesn’t make much sense. Her analysis was repetitive because she had already stated that earlier. To fix this she should take out the part talking about Baptista and talk about how she treated the tutors

# data[].attributes.body
The writers evidence does not fit the claim about Bianca. The writer set up the claim good but also seemed like they focused on two claims. The evidence gets confusing because the writer is writing off topic.
S.L

# data[].attributes.body
The evidence should relate more to the claim of Bianca being someone that fits the expectation of an Elizabethan woman. How does Bianca not fighting back show that she fits the Elizabethan mold

# data[].attributes.body
The claim doesn’t really say anthing

# data[].attributes.body
Doesn’t focus on one thing

# data[].attributes.body
The student should focus on giving evidence that matches with the claim, which is that Bianca is a well behaved lady. They say that she fits expectations of lady in the Elizabethan Era, but then gives evidence that Bianca’s father wants a man with the best offer to marry Bianca. The evidence does not correlate with what the student claims. -Fernanda

# data[].attributes.body
The person who wrote this should focus on connecting back to their claim and explaining how their evidence fits what they previously said. Connect they way Bianca does not have a choie to how she is following expectations of her era. Also, maybe use evidence that shows what Bianca says and does about things happening to her and around her instead of using another person’s words. In order to strengthen your idea, you need to strengthen thoughts on Bianca, not other characters.

# data[].attributes.body
The quote dose not support anything within the claim

# data[].attributes.body
Add more background information to how Bianca isn’t allowed to choose who she will marry and how she deals with it. Add more examples to help
show how other men treat her and how she responds to it (Hortensio and Gremio).
Nicole

# data[].attributes.body
The student can add to how Bianca is fair and respectful because you just saying that she is respectful doesn’t actually show how she is respectful. You may want to focus more on that and also the example that you gave on Baptista and how he just wants the money, that is a good example but if you emphasized more on that specifically, it would be great.

# data[].attributes.body
The claim is vague and not very strong. The evidence is too off topic to match the claim. To better this paragraph I wouldn’t focus so much on what Baptista but use more evidence to show how she fits the expectations of the Elizabethan Era.