# data[].attributes.body
LOTS of affirmation!:  For Example:
"I love how you solved this math problem all by yourself!"

# data[].attributes.body
right way - hmm.. let's try it the right way.

fix it - that answer is not right, let's fix it.

love - I love how you solved this problem!

# data[].attributes.body
Affirming phrase:
Let's try this another way. (Recognizes team effort, doesn't put all the responsibility on one person.

I know you can do this because you've done it before <shaming>.

# data[].attributes.headline
should- You should be sitting at your desk

# data[].attributes.subject
should- You should be sitting at your desk

# data[].attributes.body
fix it-

# data[].attributes.body
I use a lot of neutral terms.  (understand, next time)

A word I can use more - respect

Also, I would really appreciate more examples of converting non- VABB conversations into VABBing conversations

# data[].attributes.headline
try not to use the word "should" or "should of"  

# data[].attributes.subject
try not to use the word "should" or "should of"  

# data[].attributes.body
Instead use "thanks for the effort" or "I appreciate how hard you tried"

# data[].attributes.body
Stop correcting
Start appreciating
Then bring the two together.

# data[].attributes.body
You should focus and not draw right now.

Thank you for putting that away.

# data[].attributes.body
Should - you should stop talking and listen
Correctly - I need you to sit in your seat correctly
grateful - I am so glad you are grateful for your teacher.

# data[].attributes.body
Fix it - Please fix it before moving on
Right way - Please do it the right way to get credit
Grateful - I am grateful you are trying your best

# data[].attributes.body
right way- Please do it again the right way.
should-should you be doing that?

respect-I respect that you made an effort and tried your best.

# data[].attributes.body
do you understand its not safe to walk with your shoe laces untied .  i appreciate that you stopped and tied your shoes.

# data[].attributes.body
I appreciate you helping your partner with the project.

# data[].attributes.body
Deficit words - Fix it... "You're not making a good choice right now, you need to fix it." Should... "You should have done your work when I asked you to."
Validating- Appreciate " I appreciate that you are telling me how you feel"

# data[].attributes.body
Understand- Do you understand the directions that are on the board.

Appreciate- I appreciate all the hard work you do in school.

Correctly- I need you to sit down and correctly look at your word problems.

# data[].attributes.body
Should you be hanging in the coatroom?
The way we learned is this way...
I love how you heard the instructions and got right to work!

# data[].attributes.body
1. You need to...
2. This is the right way to do...

Instead use: relate to or appreciate

# data[].attributes.body
You need to stop

Please stop talking you need to listen

I really appreciated it when you did...or said...

# data[].attributes.body
You weren’t listening well...
Please do the assignment Correctly

Instead say...I love how you did this..

# data[].attributes.body
Should- you should do your bed right after you wake up

wrong- it is wrong to lie to your parents

Appreciate- I appreciate the hard work you have been doing around the house and appreciate spending the time with my family.

# data[].attributes.body
wrong- it is wrong to copy answers!

# data[].attributes.body
I understand you did it correctly and I appreciate that !

# data[].attributes.body
Wrong - STOP making noise and banging on your desk!

Better way- Lets try a fidget right now. How can I help you?
Do you need a Zones Check in?

Appreciate - Thank you for using your words.

# data[].attributes.body
Should - You should stay in your seat.

wrong/correctly - This is wrong. Please do your work correctly.

Appreciate - I appreciate your help. It help me tremendously!

# data[].attributes.body
Should & correctly - You should behave correctly in the classroom.

Your way - You can't always have your way in school.

Can relate - I can relate to how you feel sitting in a classroom for so long.

# data[].attributes.body
Should:  You should be kind to others.

Wrong: You were wrong to accuse her without proof.

Appreciate:  I appreciate you helping me today.

# data[].attributes.body
Correctly-Make sue you follow the directions correctly.

Right way-Is that the right way to treat your friend?

Grateful-I'm so grateful for the people that help me.

# data[].attributes.body
Should: You should be sitting quietly waiting for directions.

Wrong: That is the wrong answer try again.

Appreciate:
I appreciate how everyone is sitting nice and quiet waiting for directions.

# data[].attributes.body
correctly: Always try to spell the word correctly.

respect: This classroom is based on respect.

# data[].attributes.body
This phrase was not on the deficit list but it is one that most people never learn. There are times and situations in life where we have to learn the meaning of "have to"

# data[].attributes.body
SHOULD-You should be reading and doing your work
CORRECTLY-Do you work correctly
GRATEFUL :)

# data[].attributes.body
right way- I like that you are walking the right way in the hallway.

# data[].attributes.body
should listen to your classmates
Respect each student in your class

# data[].attributes.body
Fix it - we need to fix it as soon as possible.

Respect - we need to respect our society and our culture.

# data[].attributes.body
HONOR- i feel honored that you have shared you have personal opinion with me .

# data[].attributes.body
ought to:You ought to be remain quiet unless it is your turn.

love:I always love to see your confidence while giving speeches in front of the audience!

# data[].attributes.body
WRONG- Sorry you have a wrong answer.

# data[].attributes.headline
Should - You should read read it first before you turn it in.

# data[].attributes.subject
Should - You should read read it first before you turn it in.

# data[].attributes.body
Correct- that is not the correct way to sit.

Respect- I really respect the fact that you are fluent in two languages.

# data[].attributes.headline
RIGHT WAY- are you doing your work the right way?

# data[].attributes.subject
RIGHT WAY- are you doing your work the right way?

# data[].attributes.body
APPRECIATE-I appreciate the way johnny is doing his work.

LA

# data[].attributes.body
ought to- you ought to chew with your mouth closed

should- you should eat your sandwich before your cookies

appreciate- I'd appreciate it if you would share your cookies with me.

# data[].attributes.body
Should-you should do it this way
Ought to-you ought to think about....

Grateful-that you are working so hard

# data[].attributes.body
SHOULD-you should be putting away your pencil box

LOVE-I love the way johnny is putting away his supply box

LA

# data[].attributes.body
Fix it: You must fix it.

Value: I value what you have to say.

# data[].attributes.body
should/need to -You need to stop talking and listen.
wrong - You are doing that the wrong way.

I appreciate the way you are raising your hand.

# data[].attributes.body
Should: You should know this.
Fix it: You need to fix this.

Value: I value what you have to say.

# data[].attributes.body
Correctly: you aren't doing it correctly.
Wrong:  you're doing that wrong.
Appreciate:  I appreciate how hard you're working on your project.

# data[].attributes.body
Fix it: Fix this and give it back to me to earn points back.

Should: You should read the chapter before trying to answer the questions.

Appreciate: I appreciate all of your contributions to the class.

# data[].attributes.body
fix it: Let's fix it so that it sounds right.
should: Everyone should be taking advantage of this time to re-connect with their loved ones.
value: Parents need to value their kids so that they grow up feeling appreciated.

# data[].attributes.body
Should- you should following the Direction.

Fix it- Can you check the spelling and fix it?

Love- I love your work!

# data[].attributes.body
Next time and Should: Next time you should or shouldn't do this or that.

Grateful: I am grateful for you. I am grateful for what you do.

# data[].attributes.body
wrong: that is the wrong way to do that math problem
should: you should stay in line

inspired: I am inspired by your creativity

# data[].attributes.body
I constantly tell my son how he put his toys away "wrong" and how he needs to do it the "right way"
I think I need to remind him more of how I would "love" to see him get all his toys in the box this time and see if it makes a difference.

# data[].attributes.headline
should:  You should go to sleep earlier. 

# data[].attributes.subject
should:  You should go to sleep earlier. 

# data[].attributes.body
wrong:  It's wrong to be mean.

love: I love that you are such a good friend to Amy.

# data[].attributes.body
wrong: this answer is wrong.
understand: if you do not understand the problem, you can always ask for help.
love: then you would love to see an "A" as your grade.

# data[].attributes.body
should: I should not touch my face.
fix: Can I fix that for you?
respect: I respect your need for privacy.

# data[].attributes.body
I use "wrong" and "fix it" regularly and I see now how negative they sound in context. I will use "appreciate" a lot more, especially because it connects to gratefulness, which is really important for connection and mental health. - Kim Cavill

# data[].attributes.body
Should:  You should stay in your seat.

Correctly:  Let me show you how to correctly buckle your seat belt.

1 Validating:

Value:  I value your opinion.

# data[].attributes.body
Fix it:
Could you please fix that?

Next time:
Next time, why don't you just ask for some help.

Empathize:
I'm so sorry, I can empathize with you.

# data[].attributes.body
Validate: I know you have the potential to do much better.

# data[].attributes.body
SHOULD: You should have done that.
RIGHT WAY: Don't know know this is the right way?

1 validate:
GRATEFUL: I'm so grateful for your help.

# data[].attributes.body
Deficit: should , I should do that.
Fix it - sounds more like a command and less like a helpful term.
validating term: grateful, I am grateful for when you make dinner.

# data[].attributes.body
I'm grateful for the way you always work hard.
Next time I will try to do better.

# data[].attributes.body
Deficit: Maybe you should.....
Our way is not to bully
Our way is to be inclusive (everyone can participate...)
Validate: We value your contribution, we value you being a part of...

# data[].attributes.body
2 DEFICITS:
* You need to: you need to look at the board, you need to listen..etc
* Stop: Stop talking and finish your work.
1Validate:
* Together: lets look at the problem together and think how to solve it.

# data[].attributes.body
Right Way : If someone did wrong, their is always a  right way to convey them.
Wrong : Every human commit a mistake, but the right person are those who can fix it.

VALIDATING :

Appreciate : I appreciate all the heroes who are risking their life for the citizens during COVID19

# data[].attributes.body
Love - I love the way you're ...

# data[].attributes.body
Deficit:
Should - You should know what should be doing at this time.
Ought - Do what you ought to be doing.
Validating:
Can Relate - I can relate with your reluctance to...

# data[].attributes.body
Fix it: Can you fix it for me please?
Correctly: Can you show me how to do this correctly?
Respect: We should respect each other all the time.

# data[].attributes.headline
Fix your legs. (common refrain regarding W-sitting)

# data[].attributes.subject
Fix your legs. (common refrain regarding W-sitting)

# data[].attributes.body
Validating: appreciate

# data[].attributes.body
fix it
right way
Validate: appreciate
can relate to
grateful

# data[].attributes.headline
Need - I need you to sit in your chair.  It's circle time. You need to stand on a circle before we can go outside. 

# data[].attributes.subject
Need - I need you to sit in your chair.  It's circle time. You need to stand on a circle before we can go outside. 

# data[].attributes.body
in English/Spanish

No- No talking when the teacher or when an adult is talking

Need/necessity que- I need you to do your work/job or I need you to listen

I like/me encanta -I like that/I like how so and so is raising their hand/waiting their turn...

# data[].attributes.body
You should=I would like you to
That is wrong=let's try that again

# data[].attributes.headline
Should- "Should you be doing that right now?"

# data[].attributes.subject
Should- "Should you be doing that right now?"

# data[].attributes.body
Next time- "Try to think before you act next time."

Value- "Even though we don't agree on this, I value your opinion."

# data[].attributes.body
Fix it- Can you fix it for me please?
Correctly- Can you show me how to do this correctly?
Respect- WE should respect each other all the time.

# data[].attributes.body
Right away/should - This part of the assignment should be done right away.

Should - You should do it one step at a time.

Value - I value the effort you put into keeping your sentences organized.

# data[].attributes.body
You should call your Mom.
Fix it
I appreciate it that you washed the dishes.

# data[].attributes.body
Should- You should stop playing when your friends say stop.
Respect-They will respect you when you respect them.
Appreciate-I appreciate the way you listen when i re-direct you.
Love-I love it when you hug me because i feel loved.

# data[].attributes.body
Right way: This the right way to follow direction in school.
Should: You should do your home work every night.
Respect: You should respect your parents, teachers and friends.

# data[].attributes.body
Deficit:
Should
Ought to
Validating:
Appreciate

# data[].attributes.headline
ought to - you ought to be eating when your actually hungry.

# data[].attributes.subject
ought to - you ought to be eating when your actually hungry.

# data[].attributes.body
right way - Hold the pencil the right way.

love - I love how you stayed focused and on task. You did this all on your own.

# data[].attributes.body
should- you should clean your room.

right away- do your homework right away.

I appreciate you helping your brother with his homework.

# data[].attributes.body
Should - You should be doing your homework right now.

Fix it - You did not make your bed right, fix it!

Appreciate - I appreciate you doing your chores without being reminded.

# data[].attributes.body
Session 3 You need to line up correctly before we can leave.

# data[].attributes.body
Should - You should have followed the directions.

Right way - There is a right way to do that.

Appreciate - I really appreciate your help today.

# data[].attributes.body
Deficit word
Fix it- Can you fix the copy machine.
Wrong- You are wrong, you are saying it wrong.
Validating term
Appreciate- I will appreciate to you, for your beautiful help.

# data[].attributes.body
Should- you have the time, you should get that done.
Ought to- you ought to fold your clothes before they wrinkle
Love- I love the video that you posted

# data[].attributes.body
trying to use apreciate or love that you finished your school work at this time

# data[].attributes.body
Deficit word
should:  You should not be talking but listening
corr3ect: The correct way to load the dishwasher is plates go this way
Appreciate: I appreciate you always take the dogs for a walk each day

# data[].attributes.body
Deficit words I use:
Should- as in 'You should be paying attention or listening, or working, etc, right now'
Next Time- as in 'Perhaps next time you will make a different choice'

Validating Term I look forward to using:
Respect- as in 'that was very respectful of you, I appreciated that'

# data[].attributes.body
Should - Your eyes whould be on the teacher.
Right Way - Is that the right way to walk in the hallway?
Respect - Thank you for showing respect by listening.

# data[].attributes.body
Should-
You should finish your homework before you watch TV.

OUGHT TO-
You ought to know what chores need to be completed.

Grateful-
I’m grateful that you brought the laundry upstairs.

# data[].attributes.headline
should- You should be staying in your house.

# data[].attributes.subject
should- You should be staying in your house.

# data[].attributes.body
the only way - The only way you are going to pass the test is by listening to your teacher.
Love- I love that you have your book open and you are ready to learn.

# data[].attributes.headline
should-Should you be doing that right now?

# data[].attributes.subject
should-Should you be doing that right now?

# data[].attributes.body
right way- That's not the right way to do that.

appreciate- I appreciate your help.

# data[].attributes.body
should- You should always obey the speed limit.

can't- You can't expect results if you make no effort.

excellent- You did an excellent job cleaning your room.

# data[].attributes.body
Session 3
The only way is repect.
There is always another chance to start.
Always connect with love.