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The first stage of group counseling is about creating the group, becoming familiar with each member, and discussing norms for the group.

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Meeting the needs of Middle School Students

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Meeting the needs of Middle School Students

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The article below discusses a survey that was conducted in New Jersey of middle school administrators about whether or not they felt that their middle school students' social/emotional, academic, and career needs were being met. The student found that all administrators and school counselors all felt that their students social and personal needs were being met and that this area was one that is most important to focus on during this developmental period(McCotter & Cohen, 2013). As any group begins to form, it is essential that a school counselor survey all the stakeholders in her building to determine where they all feel the needs of the students lie. In  order to get buy in from administration, teachers, parents, and students, a school counselor needs to develop programs and in our case, group counseling sessions that are relevant to the lives of the student population we serve.

Reference:
McCotter, S. mccotters@mail. montclair. ed., & Cohen, S. S. co. (2013). Are Middle School Counseling Programs Meeting Early Adolescent Needs? A Survey of Principals and Counselors. Journal of Counselor Preparation & Supervision, 5(1), 6–27. https://doi-org.ezp.waldenulibrary.org/10.7729/51.0015

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Some of the characteristics of the final phase of group counseling that are most likely to occur with our specific population of middle school girls are feelings of sadness or anxiety regarding the group coming to a close and members of the group pulling back or closing themselves off from their participation in the final group session (Corey, Corey, & Corey, 2018). Just as in the initial stage, group members are anxious about what's going to happen next. As the group sessions went on, the young ladies hopefully formed a bond and became comfortable with each other. Now that the group is coming to a close, the girls may be feeling anxious about how they'll interact with each other outside of the group. The group leaders will need to be aware of these feelings and create a plan of action to help the girls transition in a comfortable and reassuring way.

Reference:
Corey, M. S., Corey, G., & Corey, C. (2018). Groups: Process and practice (10th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole

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The activity below is an excellent resource as a closing activity for our group that is working on building positive peer relationships. Each young lady would take turns sitting in front of a white board or a large white sheet of paper. The other young ladies would then write all the positive comments they can think of about that person. This would help them to remember to always accentuate the positives when interacting with others and to remember that everyone has something in common with you.

Reference:
Pinterest. (n.d.). Youth Mentorship. Retrieved from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/AWILu9Pe-XBQWR8wv6n50VnASUSTrn9aFQLyLyGX2Wo3OsrTzTnyRJA/

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Some students may not know how to cope with the conclusion of the group counseling experience and will begin to distance themselves from the group or begin to act out.

Reference:
Sink, C. A., Edwards, C., & Eppler, C. (2012). School based group counseling. Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

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For many small group counseling members it is important to have a personal plan of action. This plan of action will help them to take what they learned through the group counseling experience and apply it to their day to day lives(Corey, Corey, & Corey, 2018). For the young ladies in our group, it may be helpful for them to have something tangible to remind them of what we worked on in regard to building and sustaining positive peer relationships. This activity could be conducted on the final session or as a follow up to the group. By giving them the opportunity to make something while also reminding them how to treat others, we may be providing them with the chance to internalize the message of our group sessions.
Reference:
The Middle School Counselor (2013, November 18). Make a difference-a girls lunch bunch project idea. Retrieved from https://www.themiddleschoolcounselor.com/2013/11/make-difference-girls-lunch-bunch.html

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Don't you just love when you had a good idea and then you think of something to make it even better? The theme of I (with the help of my secretary, Kimmie) used Sharpie Paint Pens and colored the back of each washer. When they were dry I used a regular black Sharpie marker to write

Last year in Lunch Bunch I made these necklaces with my 7th and 8th graders. It was a project that was inexpensive and much loved by the girls. We made the necklaces and wrote an affirmation from positive quotes we had been talking about in group in the front of each necklace. I think the girls wore them each time we met.
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I found these charms at Oriental Trading Company this summer when working on my craft budget for my counseling groups. (25 starfish charms for $6.25) I knew when I saw them that I had to get them. The Starfish Story , after all, is one of most favorite stories and lessons.
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Throwing Starfish and Making A Difference is something my girls and I talk about each week. Over the past two weeks we have been working on our necklaces that are their reminder that they can make a difference.
When the girls came to lunch, I had all the washers in the center of the table. I had them each take one. They also took a small square of scrapbook paper which I also had precut into little squares. The girls had fun just choosing which paper they wanted for their necklace. Make A Difference on each one. While I probably could have had each student write this, I decided to do it myself so it was legible. I painted 40 washers, which I bought at the hardware store for $3.25. (I bought them per pound and I still have a bunch left over.)

We then used a little Mod Podge and glued the paper onto the non-colored side of the washer. Then they cut around the holes. (A small nail file helps to smooth rough edges.) When they were done, I had them write their name on a piece of paper I had on the counter next to the table and put their washer near their name. This was so we could remember which necklace belonged to which girl.

When the girls left I added Mod Podge on the fronts and backs of the washers to give them a nice shiny and durable coat. You need to do one side at a time and wait for it to dry before doing the other side. Also be careful the Mod Podge doesn't drip over the edge or it will stick to whatever you have it set on. A small paintbrush is helpful. (I took one from a watercolor set I had.)

The next time we met, the washers looked beautiful. We cut 2 pieces of hemp cord to fit around every one's head and then thread the starfish through to the middle. We tied this onto the washer, added a knot at the end, and the girls walked out of lunch wearing some very special, and very beautiful necklaces. I love watching them walk past me during the week and seeing them hanging around their necks!

This is a great visual reminder that they have the power to be the one person to make a difference.

What projects do you do to help students to remember the power they have within themselves? Leave a comment below, or join in the conversation in one of the ways that follows:

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Make A Difference ~~A Girls' Lunch Bunch Project Idea

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Don't you just love when you had a good idea and then you think of something to make it even better? The theme of I (with the help of my secretary, Kimmie) used Sharpie Paint Pens and colored the back of each washer.

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According to Sink, Edwards, and Eppler, during the final session it is important to have the members of the group reflect back on the previous sessions(2012). This will give them time to process that the end is approaching and they can begin to internalize how they may have benefited from the group counseling experience.

Reference:
Sink, C. A., Edwards, C., & Eppler, C. (2012). School based group counseling. Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

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During the working stage students will begin to come out of their shells and the group will work to develop deeper meaning to their conversations. The school counselors can begin to chip away at each member's iceberg and start to help that student as well as the group to reflect upon what is going on below the surface. In relation to the middle school group, the young ladies may begin to discover some of the deeper reasons behind their treatment of others and themselves.

Reference:
Fuhrer, M.A. (2015, February 3). The Iceberg [Blog post]. Retrieved from

http://www.maryalicefuhrerlcsw.com/iceberg/

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During the working stage, the student's aren't the only ones that may be making progress. As the group enters this stage the co-leaders should also be learning how to co-lead and function as productive and reflective leaders. The following video gives an overview of the pros and cons of co-leadership as well as suggestions on how to make co-leadership of a small group session work for the betterment of all.  Communication between the two leaders is key when working in a small group session.

Reference:
lillykwebster. (2014,February 25). Co-Leadership [Video File]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yLvGR5Q3zg

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During the working stage the members will be doing a majority of the work while the school counselor will be more of a guide. However, it is important for the school counselor to acknowledge their leadership style in order to better serve not only the students, but also their co-leader, teachers, administration, and student parents. The article below best highlights the leadership style that I feel is best suited to be used by a school counselor. The article highlights the importance of using a positive solution focused leadership style when working with others. A school counselor working in a middle school would need to work with all the stakeholders in the student's lives in order to get the results they are working toward in the formation, transition, working and closing of their small group counseling session. From the beginning of group counseling session to the end, a school counselor that works with others in a positive manner and serves as a solution focused leader will help the group members and school as a whole to grow and prosper. A school counselor that involves everyone in on the decision making process allows for all voices to be heard and in the process, ensures that everyone has a say in how the group functions and is successful. To work in isolation when it comes to better the lives of the students is out of the question. A school counselor needs to constantly communicate with others and collaborate their efforts to meet the best needs of her students. In regard to the working stage of the small group, a school counselor would need to check in with teachers, parents, and administrators to see how the students are progressing along the way, and make adjustments from any feedback they receive(Corey, Corey, & Corey, 2018). Finally, a positive solution focused leader must be reflective after each session to ensure that all the members of the group are making progress and if not, what they can do to help lead the group in a more productive manner. A leader that is able to be proactive, reflective, and open to feedback will ultimately help their students.

Reference:
Corey, M. S., Corey, G., & Corey, C. (2018). Groups: Process and practice (10th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

Froeschle, J. G., & Nix, S. (2009). A Solution-Focused Leadership Model: Examining Perceptions of Effective Counselor Leadership. Journal of School Counseling, 7(5). Retrieved from https://search-ebscohost-com.ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login.aspx?direct=true&db=eric&AN=EJ886116&site=eds-live&scope=site

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The therapeutic factors that would be essential to work on with our middle school group would be Self-disclosure, feedback, cohesion and universality, and caring and acceptance(Corey, Corey, & Corey, 2018). As our group continues to focus on building positive peer relationships among the girls in the school, helping our girls to trust each other enough to open up and reveal any inner struggles that they are dealing with in regard to their peer relationships would be a productive first step(Corey, Corey, & Corey 2018). By providing our young ladies with the tools to talk to each other in a respectful manner while also sharing what they think about what the other person is saying by providing feedback, we are helping them to understand the impact they have on others and how their voice matters(Corey, Corey, & Corey, 2018).  Finally, because our group was created to enhance positive relationships among the girls in our school and to guide them in lifting each other up rather than breaking them down, by using this stage of the group session to reinforce the idea of acceptance, caring, and being a cohesive group while doing so, we can be positive role models in their lives. The group leaders can build upon the therapeutic factor of cohesion by pointing out common themes that unite the group and encourage the group to explore those common themes together(Corey, Corey, & Corey, 2018).  During the working stage, group members are hopefully comfortable enough with each other that they are ready to dig deep into their emotional toolbox to begin to explore potential ways to build positive relationships with others while also working on improving their own self worth.

Reference:
Corey, M. S., Corey, G., & Corey, C. (2018). Groups: Process and practice (10th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

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The Goal of the Transitioning or Storming Stage

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The Goal of the Transitioning or Storming Stage

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According to Corey, Corey, and Corey, the goal of the transitioning stage is to create an environment that all members in the group, including the leaders, can take risks and build trust among the other members of the group(2018).  This stage also gives students the opportunity to learn how to work in a group. The leader of the group is in a position to help guide the group in order to assist each group member in achieving the growth they seek from attending the group sessions. In relation to working with middle school girls, the group dynamics may take a bit longer to establish because often times, girls don't like to open up and share in a group of their peers. It will be essential for the group leaders to build a rapport and trust among the group early on in this stage.

Reference:
Corey, M. S., Corey, G., & Corey, C. (2018). Groups: Process and practice (10th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

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This video shows a great way that a small group counseling group could work through some of the fears that may come up during the transitional stage. By encouraging the students to share what they have in common the counselors in this video are starting to build trust in the group. This activity may help dispel the fears of self-disclosure, being judged, and the fear of rejection in a group by allowing the group to share information that is non-threatening, yet still about themselves(Corey, Corey, & Corey, 2018). By starting off a session with this activity, students can begin to warm up to the group counseling process and may deescalate some of their reluctance to the process as well.

Reference:
Corey, M. S., Corey, G., & Corey, C. (2018). Groups: Process and practice (10th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

PsychotherapyNet. (2014, February 27). Retrieved June 26, 2019, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSOGSDGmNt4

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Group Counseling with Children: A Multicultural Approach Video

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One of the major responsibilities of a group leader during this stage is to teach the members of a group the value of recognizing and dealing with conflict situations that may arise(Corey, Corey, & Corey, 2018).  During this stage, group members are adjusting to opening up and being vulnerable in front of others. This may inevitability cause conflict or strife among the group. It is the leader's job to not resolve the conflict, but teach the group to resolve it among themselves in order to grow from the experience. The leader is there as a guide and will assist the group in overcoming any conflict that may arise as they work to build positive peer relationships.

Reference:
Corey, M. S., Corey, G., & Corey, C. (2018). Groups: Process and practice (10th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

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School Counselor's as Cultural Mediators

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School Counselor's as Cultural Mediators

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This article discusses the importance of school counselors taking on the role of cultural mediators when working with their students. With the diversity of the students in our schools, school counselors will need to act as a bridge to help each student's ethnicity and culture is respected within the small group setting. During the transitional stage of small group counseling, a school counselor will need to acknowledge each student's diversity and cultural background in order to make sure the students feel accepted and safe in the group. By also acting as a model for others in the group on how to interact with people from other cultures and ethnicities, the school counselor can help build the trusting relationship that is free of judgement and conflict in order to build a strong cohesive group environment. If a counselor is unable to build a cohesive group during this stage by addressing the various cultures that students bring with them to the group, the group may not be able to offer the help that it was formed to provide.

Reference:
Portman, T. A. A. (2009). Faces of the future: school counselors as cultural mediators. Journal of Counseling & Development, 87(1), 21–27. Retrieved from https://search-ebscohost-com.ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login.aspx?direct=true&db=swh&AN=59721&site=eds-live&scope=site

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One of the challenges that may occur during the transitioning stage is that of silence or lack of student participation. Group members may be disengaged and don't wish to participate in the group session. There can be many reasons why students choose not to participate, such as fear of being rejected, fear of confidentiality, and lack of trust in the group(Corey, Corey, & Corey, 2018). It is up to the group leader to help the students work through their issues and encourage them in a non-threatening way to engage with the group.

Reference:
Corey, M. S., Corey, G., & Corey, C. (2018). Groups: Process and practice (10th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

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If students are not participating or disengaged in the group session, this may effect how the group progresses.

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Girl Power-Empowering Middle School Girls

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Girl Power-Empowering Middle School Girls

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This website has a wealth of information and activities that a middle school counselor can use when looking for icebreakers to use with their newly formed counseling group. Building rapport among the group and it's members is so important to the success of the group. Keeping in mind that our topic is to build positive peer relationships among the girls in our school, we could use any of the activities highlighted on this website to start building bonds among our students. Using an icebreaker such as telephone during the first session can break down any barriers that the girls may have brought with them to the session.
Reference:
Mendoza, L. P. (2013-2018). Girl Power. Retrieved June 20, 2019, from https://www.schoolcounselingfiles.com/girl-power.html

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I usually try and do 6- or 8-week girls' groups at lunchtime, so I mix and match activities depending on the makeup of each particular group. Most of my girls are really interested in doing artsy craftsy projects, so I've got a bunch of them. Mostly from Pinterest, of course. The rest of the time I'm trying to sneak in items on my feminist agenda. :-)

Calming Stones - I'm lucky enough to live near the ocean, so this summer I collected a bunch of smooth stones. I have each girl choose a rock that fits nicely into her hand, then paint it with acrylic paint (valuable tip: if colors will overlap, let each dry completely before painting with the next). After school when the stones are completely dry, I take them outside and spray them with clear gloss to protect the paint jobs. The good news is that kids have been using them in class if they feel anxious, and no one has decided to throw one. Yet. Knock on wood.

Community Bingo - A get-to know-each-other activity. Students walk around the room with their bingo boards, trying to fill as many spaces as they can. Each student's name can only be entered once on the board. This is best with a group of 6 or more.

Click for full instructions for a wonderful way to get a visual on how each girl views her support system, how big it is, and how appropriate her boundaries are. Just be careful that it doesn't turn into some sort of competition to see who has the most friends or biggest family.

Hand Clapping Games are all the rage right now...

- Yeah. Do you know how long I've been looking for an excuse to eat M&Ms "for work?" This is a fun get-to-know you game. Plus you get to eat M&Ms. Score!

Friendship Necklaces - We made these the last week of one of my girls' groups. Each girl chooses her own color of bead, then puts beads of that color on as many safety pins as there are members of the group. Each girl puts one of her own safety pins and one of each of the other girls' pins, and puts them all on a string. This group had six girls in it. A beautiful memento of their friendship group!

Make Beliefs Comix - Bill ZImmerman's website - he's got tons of creative fill-in-the-blanks comics you can print out for free. If you like the Anti-Coloring Books, you'll love these.

A Little Birdie Told Me (from Pinterest) - A feel-good activity that helps girls identify their positive qualities. When I did this in group, one girl had a really hard time identifying her attributes, and the others gave her lots of support by offering specific examples of things they admire about her. For the project, students paint an abstract design on art paper, cut their printed-out statements into sentence strips, snip a bird silhouette from construction paper, then glue the bird and sentences on top of the painting in an artistic fashion. This is really a beautiful project.

Magazine Ad Hunt - Instead of just recycling a bunch of my daughters' old Seventeen and other girlie-type mags, I'm using them as a starting point for discussions about things like body image and peer pressure (as I read what I just wrote I realized that yes, I'm a bad mother who buys these magazines for her own girls! Darn it). Anyway, we're talking about the changing standards of attractiveness, who decides what's attractive and what's not, and whether or not current standards are fair or healthy. I'm having the girls cut out particularly heinous ads and article titles so we can make a Collage of Shame. Which I will NOT hang in my daughters' room.

Tip of the Iceberg - Another favorite topic of mine with girls is body language and non-verbal communication. I explain that just as only about 10% of an iceberg is above the ocean's surface, only a small fraction of what we say is communicated by our actual words. The majority of our communication is made through our facial expressions, body language, volume, and tone of voice. To illustrate, I might say, "I like your shirt" twice---once sincerely and once sarcastically. Then we do a role-play, where one person repeats the same sentence a number of times, trying to see how much she can change the meaning just by changing her nonverbal cues. I also try to tie in some discussion of how many misunderstandings happen when texting or Facebooking, since we can't see the nonverbal (i.e., largest) part of other people's communications.

Friendship Bracelets - I bought a kit at the craft store. If the instructions are too complicated for the kids (or for you if you're not great at this sort of thing), you can just buy colored yarn or embroidery thread and have them make simple braids that they can tie around their wrists. Members of the group should make one for each of the other members so they each have a wrist full of bracelets. This year the new rage at our school is making bracelets out of those little rubber bands. They're pretty inexpensive, and not too difficult.

Telephone - I bet you remember this game from slumber parties when you were a kid. One person thinks of a one-sentence statement and whispers it into the ear of the girl sitting next to her. She may only whisper it one time. That girl whispers what (she thinks) she heard to the next girl, and so on down the line. At the end, the last girl says aloud what was whispered to her. Usually it is quite different from the original statement. This is a good demonstration of why you shouldn't repeat or believe most rumors: the original story often quickly and easily becomes distorted every time the tale is retold.

Perspective Mapping - Laminate this page or put it in a plastic page protector. With a dry-erase marker, write in the speech bubble (or have the child write) something they said to someone else that was maybe thoughtless or hurtful or rude. Then have them think about what sorts of things the other person might have been thinking, and write those in the thought bubble. Erase and do it again, but this time writing something more appropriate or kind in the speech bubble. Will the other person's thoughts change? Discuss.

﻿Flame of Friendship﻿ - Use the analogy of a flame to help girls deal with friendship issues like jealousy. See my blog post here to get more details.

Affirmation Necklaces - From Carol Miller, The Middle School Counselor. This has been one of the girls' favorite activities.

​How about posting friendship rules, or having kids sign a friendship contract? Download mine
here.

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I usually try and do 6- or 8-week girls' groups at lunchtime, so I mix and match activities depending on the makeup of each particular group. Most of my girls are really interested in doing artsy craftsy projects, so I've got a bunch of them. Mostly from Pinterest, of course.

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The video below is an example of an icebreaker that could be used in the middle school setting as a way for the young ladies in our group to get to know each other and to begin to build rapport. By using an icebreaker to start off our first session, we are relieving some of the stress that some of the students may have come in with as well as setting a fun tone to our session. Middle school girls can be reserved at first if you aren't comfortable with a counselor or teacher so this game may break through their tough exterior and help them open up to the counselors and other group members.
Reference:
Kilgore.S. (2015, January 15). One Minute Please- Mental Health Ice Breaker [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CxPZ65UeMg

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One Minute Please- Mental Health Ice Breaker

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This article discusses the occurrence of bullying in our schools and the fine line that a school counselor must follow as to when to break that all important confidentiality agreement and report a student's bullying behavior or threats to the proper authorities. While beginning our small group session, we have to establish a clear confidentiality agreement with all the students in the group in order for them to know whatever they say in our session is confidential, but if they share that they are being harmed, or want to harm others, that the confidential relationship will need to be broken, and the counselors will need to report their information. This article highlights the importance of getting students involved in the prevention of bullying in their schools. This is relevant to our group's topic because we are trying to work with middle school girls and encourage them to have positive peer relationships. By empowering girls to treat each other with respect, we are hopefully going to curtail any bullying type behavior at our school.
Reference:
Smith, L. J. (2015). Minors’ Right to Confidentiality: Addressing the Issue of Bullying and the Ethical Obligation to Prevent Harm. Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment, 25(7), 746–755. https://doi-org.ezp.waldenulibrary.org/10.1080/10911359.2015.1032649

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It's important to establish a clear set of expectations when beginning your group. All members must be in agreement as to the group norms and expected behaviors of the members in the group.
Reference:
Group Norms. (2016). Retrieved June 20, 2019, from http://www.counselorcreated.com/topics/counseling-tools/general/1287-counseling-office-signs-modern-black-and-white-design1287-detail.html

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According to Corey, Corey, & Corey, the establishment of a set of group norms is essential to help a small group counseling session go smoothly and without conflict(2018). Corey, Corey, and Corey also point out that the established group norms should be followed throughout the life of the group(2018). By establishing a set of norms, helps the group have clear and well defined expectations for each group member to follow. By establishing these rules as a group, it also helps to build cohesion within the group(Corey, et.al, 2018).  By working together to create a set of group norms, a group is able to work together toward a common goal. This will be helpful in our middle school group because we are working toward creating and reinforcing positive peer relationships among the young ladies in our group. Being able to work together in respectful and mature way is a productive first step.
Reference:
Corey, M. S., Corey, G., & Corey, C. (2018). Groups: Process and practice (10th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole

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https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YXQHKKL

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Another activity to introduce the students to each other, while playing a game, is the M&M game. This game is played using a bag of M&M's. Each student takes a piece of candy from the dish, then goes around the room answering questions based on the color candy they chose. After the question is answered, the candy can be eaten.

Minnesota PTA (2017, Fall). M&M and skittles icebreaker. Retrieved from https://mnpta.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/MM-and-Skittles.pdf

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When working in the initial stage of group counseling, it is important to avoid too much structure. Having too much structure can cause the participants to become dependent on the direction of the counselor and not allow them to grow and function as a group. The group leader does need to be in charge of the group and guide the sessions, but giving too much guidance can cause a negative effect.

Reference:

Corey, M. S., Corey, G., & Corey, C. (2018). Groups: Process and practice (10th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

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Building Trust by Working Through Conflict

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Building Trust by Working Through Conflict

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In Groups: Process and Practice by Marianne Schneider Corey, Gerald Corey, and Cindy Corey (2018), it is stated that some members might not have the experience in participating in group sessions so their behaviors might not be defensive. This is important to remember when working with groups, especially middle school girls. Establishing trust is crucial in this stage. Without trust, the students will not open up and participate in the group activity. Working through conflict, in a positive and open way, will lead to trust based on the achievement of a goal completed together.

Reference:
Corey, M. S., Corey, G., & Corey, C. (2018). Groups: Process and practice (10th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

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According to an article regarding group counseling in the schools “Criticism: As lack of progress occurs, criticisms emerge.” (Crespi, 2009, p. 279). This is stated about the second stage, the storming stage, of group counseling. Criticism can occur from student to student, student to counselor, or colleague to counselor. It is important to remain open to suggestions and not display defensive behaviors or attitudes. Demonstrating defensive behaviors can lead to unnecessary conflicts. This can also lead to students following the counselor’s behavior. Being aware of our feelings and cautiously planning out reactions is one way to prevent the appearance of defensiveness.

Reference:

Crespi, T. D. (2009). Group counseling in the schools: Legal, ethical, and treatment issues in school practice. Psychology in the Schools, 46(3), 273–280.

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This video involves a group of young girls who are involved in a few sharing and friendship activities. The girls were asked a few questions guided by their leader and were allowed to answer honestly and have fun. Each of the girls laughed and seemed to be having a fun time. At the end of the video, the leader asked what the participants learned and pointed out that all of the girls were able to recognize their strengths and problem areas. She also commented on knowing what each person brings to their friendship and knowing how to work together as friends. Our middle school group is based on building positive relationships with friends, especially in girls. This video seems to be a great example of how we could conduct a group session. It has some great examples of topics to start conversations and how to tie it all together at the end.

Reference:

Gomez, H. (2015, April 25). Group session #3 friendships and closing [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttecrAd9pJA

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The article below discusses the importance of using wellness based interventions to combat the problem of girl to girl bullying. While forming a counseling group for a select group of middle school girls, we as the school counselors would want to be aware of such interventions. By helping to provide our young female students with positive coping skills and the ability to feel included/accepted by their peers we are working to prevent negative behaviors later in life. During the forming stage of group counseling, it is important for the school counselor to be aware of the connection between adolescent female wellness and adult female wellness. If we are able to provide our students with positive peer relationship skills, we can help them become productive and successful women.

Reference:
Rayle, A. D., Moorhead, H. J. H., Green, J., Griffin, C. A., & Ozimek, B. (2007). Adolescent Girl-to-Girl Bullying: Wellness-Based Interventions for School Counselors. Journal of School Counseling, 5(6). Retrieved from https://search-ebscohost-com.ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login.aspx?direct=true&db=eric&AN=EJ901167&site=eds-live&scope=site

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The attached article discusses various models and curriculum that can be implemented in a middle school counseling program in order to enhance positive peer relationships among the female students. The article outlines sample counseling session plans and explains the importance of building positive peer relationships among girls early in their adolescence. The comprehensive plan that this article lays out can be applied to the working stage of group counseling because it explains how to build upon existing student relationships in order to enhance their meaningfulness and longevity. In addition, this article discusses other ways that the Girl Circle Program can be used, for example, body image.

Reference:
Hossfeld, B. (2012). Developing Friendships and Peer Relationships: Building Social Support with the Girls Circle Program. Handbook of Prevention and Intervention Programs for Adolescent Girls,42-80. doi:10.1002/9781118269848.ch2

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According to Jorune Vysniausktye-Rimkiene and Daiva Matuleviciute, group work is highly recommended and effective (2016). Forming a group shows personal strengths and the belief that each student has something offer to the lives of others. This article offers examples of creative activities to utilize. It discusses the aim, method, and discussion or reasoning behind the activity. The questions discussed in this article are done to find their own strengths along with learning how to accept positive feedback from others. They would be most beneficial in the working stage since some of the activities are meant to be done once the students are comfortable with each other.

Vysniauskyte-Rimkiene, J., & Matuleviciute, D. (2016). How creative group work helps adolescents create relations with self and peers. Social Work With Groups, 39(2–3), 234–245.

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It was found that adolescent girls have stronger goals and ambitions to support friendships (Lee, Foote, Wittrock, Xu, Niu, & French, 2017). Adolescents feel isolation when they are not included in peer groups. They seek this sense of belonging. This can be different groups at school or friend groups. When holding a group counseling session based on positive friendships, the individuals are part of one of these peer groups. The end of the sessions can cause some sadness and the loss of that sense of belonging. It is important for the group leader to have a plan on how to help the students overcome this feeling and give them an idea of what will happen next.

Lee, S., Foote, J., Wittrock, Z., Xu, S., Niu, L., & French, D. C. (2017). Adolescents’ perception of peer groups: Psychological, behavioral, and relational determinants. Social Science Research, 65, 181–194.

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One aspect of our profession as school counselors is to support parents. After our small group has ended, we may need to offer further support to some of the girls and their parents. This website from the  Department of Health and Human services may help parents continue to work with their daughter on establishing positive peer relationships.

Reference:
Office of Adolescent Health. (2019, July 02). Talking About Peer Relationships: How You Make a Difference. Retrieved July 14, 2019, from https://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/resources-and-training/for-families/peer-relationships/make-a-difference/index.html

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Model healthy relationships with others. The #1 place where teens learn about relationships is in their families. What they learn from and experience with parents and siblings has a lot of influence on how they find and get along with friends.

Maintain a positive relationship. When parents have positive relationships with their teens, their teens are more likely to form more positive relationships with their peers, including healthy romantic relationships. A positive parent-teen relationship is one that is warm, caring, and emotionally open while also setting boundaries and having high expectations.

Encourage positive friendships. You can welcome your teen's friends to your home, support them doing things together, and encourage participation in activities with positive peer groups, such as school activities, youth programs, and religious activities.

Teach friendship skills. Help your teen learn to strike up a conversation with someone new, show empathy and support to a friend, listen and ask questions, resolve conflicts, set appropriate boundaries, and other skills that lead to positive, meaningful relationships with peers.

Know your teen's friends. Keep track of where teens spend time, who they're with, and what they're doing. Then you have the opportunity to ask questions or offer additional encouragement for the friendships, depending on the situation.

Express concerns, ask questions, and set limits, when necessary. If you are uncomfortable with some friends and do not believe they are a positive influence, talk about your concerns with your teen, teaching him or her how to think about relationships. Be open and willing to listen to what your teen has to say about these friends, and also talk about what makes you nervous. It's best not to forbid a friendship, unless it is putting your teen in danger.

Create an inviting home for friends. Make your home a place where your teen's friends like to hang out. (Snacks always help!) Get to know them while they are relaxed and open to conversation. If there are activities they want to attend together, offer to drive or supervise the outing.

Don't jump to conclusions based on appearances. Don't judge your adolescent's friends based on their dress, hairstyle (or color), appearance, interests, or other external factors. Remember that teens sometimes "try on" different identities and interests as a way of expressing their independence. Over-reacting with negative comments can make it less likely that friends will let you get to know them.

Do pay attention to warning signs. If teens are hanging out with people who are much older, or if they are overly secretive about friends and what they are doing, monitor the situation more closely. Be less enthusiastic about these friendships, since your teen will sense your concern. If you have reason to suspect harmful activities (such as premature sexual activity, alcohol, tobacco, or other drug use), be assertive and clear about your concerns and your expectations.

Connect with your teen's friends' parents. Get to know the parents or guardians of your teen's friends. You will often find that they share your values and priorities and that you can work together to ensure that the friendships are positive for everyone.

Practice peer pressure resistance strategies. Role-play different scenarios with teens so they have practice saying "no" in difficult situations. This strategy can help your teen be prepared and know how to respond when a sticky situation comes up. Focus on strengthening these resistance strategies:

Get the person's attention. Use the person's name. Make eye contact. Say, "Please listen to me!" Just getting the person to stop and pay attention can shift the energy and momentum, making it easier to resist the pressure.

State your "no" decision. Use "I" messages and a firm voice. Reinforce the decision with body language. You don't have to get defensive or explain everything. A firm "No, I do not want to do that" shows confidence and commitment.

Use self-control. Restate the "no" decision. Suggest an alternative subject, if appropriate. Or simply leave. Getting angry or arguing is rarely productive in the heat of the moment. Rather, your goal is to get away from the situation. If needed, discussing the issues can happen at another time when there's less pressure.

Recruit other help. Chances are that you're not the only one who's uncomfortable doing things that you believe are unsafe or wrong. Your stance will often be respected, and others may follow your lead. If it's an ongoing situation, you can talk with others who share your perspective and come up with a strategy together.

Try other ways to say "no". Use humor. Change the focus of the conversation. Reverse the pressure in a positive direction. Sometimes the humorous response defuses the situation, particularly if the humor follows a clear "no" statement.

Share your perspective with your teen. When talking about a friend who you believe may be a negative influence, focus on the friend's behaviors, not on his personality. For example, instead of calling your teen's friend irresponsible for smoking, you could point out that the behavior has a negative effect on the friend's health and recommend ways for your teen to help the friend quit.

Set boundaries. Teens can want to spend all their time with their friends or with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Insist that they also spend time at home and meet their other responsibilities. Be sure your teen participates in family gatherings and events (potentially inviting a friend to come along sometimes).

Investigate if your teen doesn't have friends. Some young people are introverted and don't want or need a lot of friends. But spending a lot of time alone and not having any friends can also be a warning sign that your teen is isolated or having trouble with peer relationships. Ask about it. Check with teachers or other school personnel to see if they have concerns. (Sometimes teens interact well at school, but need alone time at home.) Losing interest in friends for several weeks may indicate depression or other issues. You may also consider seeking help from a counselor if your concerns persist.

Keep your relationship a top priority. When parents have positive relationships with their teens, their teens are more likely to form more positive relationships with their peers, including healthy romantic relationships. A positive parent-teen relationship is one that is warm, caring, and emotionally open while also setting boundaries and having high expectations. Even if you are concerned about friends and their influence, do not let your worries drive a wedge between you and your teen. Work hard to maintain your relationship, even while expressing your worries. When you express concerns, be sure to reinforce your love for your teen. Your influence will be greater in the long run if you do what you can to maintain a positive relationship.

Check out Talk with Your Teen.

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Talking About Peer Relationships: How You Make a Difference

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Model healthy relationships with others. The #1 place where teens learn about relationships is in their families. What they learn from and experience with parents and siblings has a lot of influence on how they find and get along with friends. Maintain a positive relationship.

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Friendships can be complicated and take work, but they are very beneficial to adolescent development. This is a stage in the individual’s life that they are becoming more independent from their families, so they rely more on friendships and peer relations. These peer groups and friendships can become a source of security. Hormonal changes in adolescent girls can cause emotional reactions in peer groups. They can cause pain and stress due to rejection, poor communication, conflict, peer pressure, and jealousy. This can lead to doubt and loneliness (Venter & Uys, 2019). When this happens it often results in insults, gossip, and exclusion from their group causing a negative impact on their friendships. This article states that the sessions can either be structured according to a specific topic or they can adapt a freestyle type of session. In the storming stage, the session could be done in more of a freestyle way to determine how the sessions should be ran and what topics should be covered. The counselor can direct the sessions even when doing a freestyle style. This could help the students to become more comfortable and feel like their input is valuable while allowing the counselor to learn more about his or her students.

Venter, H. & Uys, H. (2019). Group therapy for early adolescent relationship problems between girls. International Journal of Adolescence and Youth, (2), 212.