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It was very detailed

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Grow   i would add  more about how you felt t after eles island

glow i liked how detailed every thing was .

- Alex

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Glow - you talk a lot about the bout.
grow -  your story is all over the place it seems like all your journals are put together.
from Maayan

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Glow: Good story! Introduces more than one character.
Grow: Separate sentences
From Bennett

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Great organization with your paragraphs!
Consider adding dialogue :)

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Glow: My push factors were essay to see and I had a lot of detail.
Grow: I should check my grammar in general.

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Glow: I love how your journal was very organized
Grow: Nothing really

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Glow: Good story and good organization

Grow: Longer sentences and more detail
From Bennett

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Glow: It is very detailed
Grow: I could have added more about where I came from

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Glow- A lot of good details
Grow- Describe your characters experience on the ship a little bit more.

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For daisy- glow the first journal was very detailed.
grow- talk more about the person who sent you a letter.

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Glow: I loved how you talked about what is was like before the boat ride over

Grow: You could of added more about your character

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Glow: I love how she added a lot of detail
Grow: Nothing really(:

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Glow - you are very detailed.
Grow - Talk more about where you came from. ( some more details )
from Maayan

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grow i would add more how they were feeling.

glow i liked how  it was set up and the push and pul factors.

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glow: your story was very well done with a lot of detail
grow: maybe dont add that much detail to dome parts to keep the story moving-celia

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Glow: I think I did a good job detailing the story.

Grow: I should of added dialog

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Glow- Great details
Grow- Tell us how old you are and what your name is

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Glow: I liked how there was dialogue.
Grow: Check your spelling :)

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Glow: GREAT STORY! Loved how you introduced more than one character!

Grow: Fix grammar. That's all!
From Bennett

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Glow: the parts about your community
Grow: you could add more about the ship

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grow: i would add more of  the befor you had to leave

glow : i liked how you made there feelings stand out  and make us feel some thing for them.

- Alex m

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glow:liked the story line
grow: make sue to add more periods.
-celia

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Glow: Good story, I enjoyed the story

Grow: Capitalize words

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glow relly good detals
grow small spelling errors.

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Glow; You described everything well.
Grow: Dont forget to capitalize words.
-Radha

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for myself- glow the events were based off of history.
grow-add more dialouge

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Glow - Your story is very detailed.
Grow-  you could add dialogue, you don't talk to anyone you only talk about yourself.
from Maayan

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Glow-I liked how you described your characters experience on the ship. A lot of good details.
Grow- I think the first entry was good,so I do not even think theres a grow needed.

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GLOW: Great details about the tenements
GROW: I feel like bits of dialogue would be a great addition, but great work!!

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Glow: It's really historically accurate
Grow: The pull factors were not that clear.

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Gkow- Good Details about the boat ride
Grow- Tell us more about your age and how old you are
-miles

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glow - I used really strong vocabulary.
grow - I should talk more about my sister.

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Glow- Good details on journal 1 and 2
Grow- Better details in journal 3

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Glow:There was a lot of deitail.
Grow: I could add more dialogue.

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The details where really good

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glow: I loved how many details there were
Grow: I think you could say where your coming from.

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Glow: A great story with a good plot
Grow: Some words and sentences were left out

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Glow: I liked how you started your paragraph.
Grow: Make sure to include where your coming from!
-Radha

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Glow- I liked how she told the story
Grow- I can tell she worked hard with researching the topics

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Glow: You have really detailed push and pull factors
Grow: maybe your journal could have more paragraphs.

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Glow: I love how detailed the push-pull factors were.
Grow: adding more talking.

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Glow: I loved how you described that their mother wasn't with them

Grow: I think you should explain more about seeterage

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glow :  the pull and push  factors were very  clear and you could understand them

grow :  I think one thing you could have made better was  make it flow smoother.

- Alex M

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For kira- glow I liked the details on why your charcter was leaving there country. grow- add more dialogue.

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GLOW:
I love how clear your push factors are!
GROW: I think you could organize your journal into paragraphs. :)

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glow
that i got everything in on time

grow
tell more details about the girls

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To myself
Glow: I think I had very good details in my journal.
Grow: I think I can say a word less often.
To Jasmyn
Glow: I liked how detailed the boat part of the journal was.
Grow:  I think you need  to look over your punctuation and capitalization.
To Daisy
Glow: I liked how you highlighted your research
Grow: I think you should look over your capitalization.

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Immigration Journals-Publishing Party
Made with an aura of mystery
Avatar of Johanna Barnhart
Johanna Barnhart
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