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As a Bannerman soldier, everything was meant to go well and for the most part it was. We instilled fear in the Han and passed on our traditions to them. Those who foolishly refused were dealt with accordingly. Even as they flood into our native land, they will not forget that fact. My family is gradually rising in the ranks. All will be well. Any concerns have now will mean nothing in the future.

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The drug, opium, has made its way into the ranks. I must say it has not cause as much destruction to us soldiers as it has to the peasants, but it has done a number on my father. He resigned to manage the home while his sons continue on fighting. He has served well yet he sits in our family home and wastes away smoking the infernal drug. I don’t know how he does it. This could become a problem for us financially.

A war broke out over the drug. It became political as Opium is an illegal substance. Commissioner Li tried to deal with it. The British did not agree with his methods and retaliated. I don’t understand why they are fighting us when they committed the first crime. They sold illegally to our poor desperate citizens. They took advantage of us.

My banner was called to Hong Kong to fight the British. It took weeks to get to Hong Kong from our station in the North. We are not well versed with this new warfare and because of this, we are at a disadvantage. I’m sure everyone else can see that this won’t end well. We are dying. It angers me. I want these people to go away. Why must they always meddle?

The treaty that came afterwards was... A bandaid that reeked of cowardice. They may have brought us to our knees, but I can keep fighting. Why must they take more from us? Why must we allow them to walk upon our soil as if they own it?

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A revolt broke out, specifically against the Qing. Their leader is an odd one, but they all follow regardless. He spits nothing but non-sense; about his brother, Jesus. This is an odd name, I don't remember where it’s origins are from. In any case, I will fight this rebellion for the sake of my father and two younger brothers who also fight valiantly for this dynasty. It will all be worth the pain. All of this loss…

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We were caught in a moment of weakness. It wasn’t just the British this time. The French decided to come along as well. It makes no difference to me. They are foreigners, they do not belong.

We lost… again. This wouldn’t have happened if our land wasn’t already on fire.

The government had to cough up a large sum of money and the foreigners set up camp.  A fire of my own burns within me. It is already so hard to make ends meet. And now they want more. It is as if they wish to bleed us dry.

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This has been going on for quite some time. This certainly isn't the longest battle I’ve had to endure but it is taxing for nonetheless. I Recieved word that my eldest brother died in battle against the British. His group was in Shang Hai. We were separated in order to suppress the rebellion. I regret leaving his side. I wish to mourn, but I do not know if I will ever be granted pardon. I do not know if I will have a family to return to in the end. We are at war after all and they are targeting us from all angles.

We are spread too thin. It seems like dozens of rebellions are popping up all around us. There is no end.

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At my fathers request, after the loss of his brothers he granted us an option. Soldier or Student. There was a project to send children to America to study. It sounded intriguing, but alas I was too old to participate in this particular project. However, I continued with my studies and would continue to hope for the best. I wonder if studying in Japan would be easier.

No matter where I went, as long as it was not here, I would be safer. There are targets on my back as well as my family. Many of our familial connections were lost in the war, simply because we were Manchu.

As the government becomes more deprived financially, our own funds dwindle with it. Taxes continue to rise. We are not wealthy enough to escape it. We will soon be in danger. Especially if my father continues to pour our funds into my brothers education. I am in school as well, but this end goal does not seem very clear to me.

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This time we watch from the side lines as more oil is thrust upon our land. It spreads the fire further. We are still struggling to make ends meet, but a heavy burden has been lifted with this rebellion. The target that we all could feel has shifted to someone else, the Christians. For once it is not us who are the enemy. Though that is not a cure all. They fight against the foreigners. The men of this family have never been overly fond of them; the European folk. And by association I have grown to despise them as well. They came in guns blazing and forced us to kneel with weapons many of us have never seen before. I am grateful for this rebellion. I know what it will do as all wars do, they always always result in death. I don’t fancy all the blood. It does awful things to the boys.

I do not say anything either way. It is not wise to voice any opinion that rivals theirs.

Things did not go well… and more money was forced out of our pockets.

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The Qing are attempting a reform. In theory this is exactly what everyone needs, but l am unsure that everything will go as planned.

The military has taken a different turn. The banners as we know it are no more. Merely a concept as the banners dispersed.

Becoming a civil service man as my father hoped does not seem to be possible anymore since the civil service examinations were abolished. He seemed more crestfallen than I was, of course my brothers took quite the hit as well. They were all studying very diligently. I am sad to know they can no longer pursue a position.

Almost immediately my second oldest brother, after sulking for a week, went into the military. My father, a military man, was not opposed, but I know he was still disheartened to see my brother give in so easily.

I do not know what to do with my future. I shall continue to study. Perhaps something will come up.

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It is not like communism is not practical, but I do not fancy the idea of something so new. We have been deceived by foreign powers before. Their communism may do more harm than good. My family stands with the Nationalist Party.

However, it is still sad to know the purge takes place. We have endured so much, and to still be here is nothing short of a miracle.

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The north, where my family hails from, now over run with Han Chinese was taken by the Japanese. They demanded recognition as a Nation-State and refer to themselves as Manchuria, or Manchukuo. Emperor Puyi was put in charge of the nation-state.