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There may be nothing more important in a child's life than a positive and stable relationship with a caring adult. For students, a positive connection to at least one school adult - whether a teacher, counselor, sports coach, or other school staff member - can have tremendous benefits that include reduced bullying, lower drop-out rates, and improved social-emotional capacities.

Rather than leave these connections to chance, relationship mapping invests time in making sure that every student is known by at least one adult.

Using this strategy, school staff identify youth who do not currently have positive connections with school adults during a private meeting. Those students are then paired with a supportive adult mentor within the school. Throughout the year, mentors support each other through the successes and challenges of building relationships with students, and school administrators routinely communicate with staff to determine how well the process is going. At the end of the year, the staff convenes to talk about how their efforts may have positively affected students. Adults may also choose to pay particular attention to "at risk" students as these connections may be particularly important for students who are having a hard time at home or in school.

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Relationship Mapping Strategy | Making Caring Common - Making Caring Common

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Use this online version of our popular Relationship Mapping Strategy for your school, community organization, or religious group to help ensure that everyone has a strong connection to someone else during challenging times.

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A Trauma-informed Approach to Teaching Through Coronavirus

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Experts from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network share their recommendations for educators supporting students during the COVID-19 crisis.

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The coronavirus crisis is tough on all families. But for single parents, having to suddenly manage kids whose schools and playgrounds are closed and whose caregivers can no longer come to work can be especially overwhelming.

Click here to see all resources related to the coronavirus crisis.

Getting through the actual day-to-day of life under quarantine - not to mention juggling working from home or dealing with the fallout from sudden unemployment - is stressful enough. Add to that the isolation from other adults in your social network, and the task of single parenting can feel insurmountable.

There's no magic bullet that will make living through this crisis easy. But we've put together some advice from our experts to help support single parents during this difficult time. In particular, we're focusing on tips for reaching out to find help (which is crucial to your mental health), balancing work and time with the kids (which can feel impossible) and handling difficult behavior (which is to be expected).

Start with acceptance

Acceptance might sound absurd in the face of such a challenging situation, but think of it this way: Accepting the situation you're in doesn't mean you have to like it. Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, recommends a mindfulness concept called "radical acceptance," which means that you accept what is happening in the moment without judgment, rather than fighting what you're experiencing. It also means accepting the feelings you have - including things like anger and frustration. When you're stuck in a bad situation, check in with yourself. What is - and isn't - out of your control? Once you've acknowledged what you can't control, you'll be able move forward to improve what you can control. Radical acceptance could enable you to:

Acknowledge that right now, you are in survival mode. Be kind to yourself, and remember that though it may feel lonely, you are not alone. Everyone is going through this in one way or another. "If I read one more article about how this is a great time to reorganize my closet, I'm going to lose it," says Stephanie Lee, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. "I think we want to dispel the myth that this is a good time to work on things. This is a time to survive and get by and that's okay."

Set the parenting bar lower. Accept that there are going to be some days when if you can get everybody fed and bathed and squeeze in a little activity, that is a good day. "If you can move the bar up just a little one day a week, great," says Dr. Lee. "And if it falls back down again the next day, that's okay."

Settle for less academics. It's virtually impossible to work from home and be your kid's teacher five days a week. "If you can manage to do academic work with your child three days a week instead of five, that's great," says Dr. Lee. "If you can only do two right now, that's okay too." It can also be helpful to check in with teachers when you feel comfortable doing so, since they may be able to give extra support in stressful situations or even just provide additional time to complete assignments.

Go back to basics. Try setting your priorities for the day in the morning. What has to get done? Then, maybe add what you'd like to get done. Kids - and you - need good sleep, some nutrition and ideally a bit of exercise every day. Those are the basics. That may mean going for a jog while your kid rides his scooter, but with parks and playgrounds in many places closed right now, it may mean taking a break to do ten jumping jacks or have a relay race in the hallway.

Find a few minutes a day for yourself. These days, the old cliché of "putting your mask on first" has taken on a new meaning. But the idea that if you can't help yourself, you can't help your child, stills holds true. "One minute of self-care, five minutes of self-care - that doesn't mean you go to the spa but it does mean maybe taking a walk if you can," says Dr. Busman. "Or doing a three-minute meditation." Taking small breaks throughout the day is crucial, even if it's just to stretch or drink some water.

Relax screen time limits. That doesn't mean letting your kid watch TV all day. But allowing a little extra time on the iPad or an extra hour of gaming can give you time to recharge and let everyone have a little break. Remember, these changes aren't forever - you're just adapting to an unusual situation.

Find your village

If ever there were a time to ask for help, now is that time. And it's important to model for your child that when you need help, you ask for it. When you can't rely on your usual support network, you might:

Reach out to your child's teacher or school psychologist or counselor, or to your own therapist.

Contact clergy members or other spiritual leaders in your community.

Schedule regular FaceTime dates with grandparents or your child's favorite babysitter or the other parent if they're in the picture. "Just fifteen or twenty minutes of virtual childcare may give you the time you need to take a shower or start a grocery delivery list," says Dr. Lee. "I know one grandma who does little kid yoga with her grandchild once a week." Kids can entertain each other, too - setting yours up to chat with cousins or classmates can be a way to give other parents some breathing room at the same time. Scheduling these visits around the same time every day or every week can also give both your child and you a little bit of structure and something to look forward to.

Have virtual meals with friends who live in other parts of the country and who are at home with their kids. "This may be the time to reconnect with that college friend you've lost touch with and introduce your kids to each other," Dr. Lee says.

Call to see if local libraries or the music class you used to attend with your child are offering virtual sessions. Remember that you're not limited to resources in your geographic area. If a bookstore across the country has great kids' events that are now online, this is your chance to check them out.

Make a plan for juggling work and childcare

Working from home is hard and homeschooling is hard, so putting them together can seem impossible. If you're feeling overwhelmed by the balancing act, try these strategies:

Speak with your employer if you're working from home. "Everybody working from home is working for and with someone who is also working from home," says Dr. Busman. "We are obviously concerned about our jobs, but depending on your situation, you can talk to your employer about taking some family medical leave or have a conversation about how to arrange flex time or how to consolidate work tasks during times that are going to align with what your child needs."

Use visual aids and timers to let your child know when you're available and when you need to work. For young kids, Lee suggests setting kids up with an activity they can do relatively independently and then using timers or visual "stop lights" (clipping a green piece of paper to the door when you're available, and a red one when you're not) to teach kids about boundaries. "Then you have to check in every five minutes or so, non-contingently," she says, to let them know you are there. Eventually you can move to longer durations of time.

Go easy on yourself. Like everything else about the current situation, your work life simply might not be up to its usual standards. But as long as you're staying on top of your essential day-to-day tasks, you are doing your job - even if you're usually determined to go above and beyond. Take comfort in knowing that your supervisor and colleagues are likely facing similar challenges themselves, and if you can, try to be open with them about what you're realistically able to put in at work right now.

Get ahead of behavior issues

The current situation is just as difficult for kids as it is for parents. And with everyone at home together, some conflict is unavoidable. Consider these tips for making the most of the challenges that do come up:

Avoid the temptation to intervene if you can. Having more than one kid at home can be great, on the one hand, because they can keep each other company. But being cooped up can also lead to more bickering among siblings. Carol, a lawyer and the single mom of two 11-year-old girls, has discovered the beauty of noise-cancelling headphones. "I wear them sometimes when the kids are off playing or doing chores," she says. "I have a tendency to want to get involved as soon as I hear them needing help or beginning to argue. It is helpful to me not to be able to hear them because it allows them more time to work through stuff on their own." This approach works well with teens and tweens. If you have little kids, you'll probably need to be the referee and help them work it out. But having a calm discussion about whatever the issue is rather than just yelling at them (even if that's what you really feel like doing) is likely keep things from escalating and you'll also be modeling constructive ways of dealing with conflict.

Expect some regression and tantrums. With the sudden restrictions imposed as a result of the pandemic, children have suddenly lost their bearings in the world - their friends, their school, their schedule. And it's expected that kids may be anxious and that may result in regression and acting out. The key, Dr. Lee says, is to not engage with tantrums as much as possible as long as the behavior isn't dangerous. "We want to be careful that we don't inadvertently reward kids in the middle of their tantrum with big, bold, and immediate attention, because it will inadvertently reinforce that behavior and keep it going."

Heap on the praise. On the flip side, it's crucial to "catch" your kids being good. "I'm always all about the praise and there's two kinds of praise. There's general praise and then there's labeled praise," Dr. Lee explains. "General praise is things like 'good job,' 'thank you,' 'way to go.' Labeled praise is literally telling someone what it was about their behavior you liked: 'Thank you so much for putting your plate in the sink.'"

The strategy of praising kids in this way is something Dr. Lee uses especially in her work with kids with special needs like ADHD and autism because it really helps to reinforce good behavior. But right now, with virtually all kids having to learn new routines and ways of coping, applying these praise techniques is beneficial to any kid living under quarantine.

If you let your kids know that you know they are doing the best they can, even in these deeply uncertain times, hopefully life will become a little easier for all of you. And right now, that is enough of a goal for any parent.

Figure out what does, and doesn't, work for you

When it comes to daily life during the coronavirus crisis, we're all making it up as we go along. It's not going to be the same for everyone. How you cope will depend, in part, on how old your kids are, how independent they can be and what your work situation is.

Linda, the single mom of a toddler in New York City, feels like she is drowning. For a week she and her daughter didn't get out of their pajamas. It took a while, but she says she discovered something that worked. "Art has been our saving grace." She spends hours each day letting her daughter go crazy with painting and has even been able to have some socially distanced playdates with the women from her moms' group where they meet outside and let the kids draw with sidewalk chalk.

Carol has been teleworking from home for over a month. "I've had time to figure out what works and what doesn't," she says. Carol has figured out that everyone does their best work in the morning, so that's when she sets her kids up with their schoolwork and when she tries to schedule as much of her own work as possible. In the afternoons they do chores and she takes her kids to a dirt field nearby where, she says, "they will ride their bikes in circles for two hours just to burn off steam."

Feel free to embrace whatever works for you and your kids. And if you try a strategy that's worked for someone else and find that it's not right for you, let it go. "This pandemic didn't come with a 'how-to' manual," says Dr. Lee, and remembering that can be the key to making this situation less stressful for you and your kids alike.

Click here to see all resources related to the coronavirus crisis.

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Single Parenting During the Coronavirus Crisis | Child Mind Institute

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The coronavirus crisis is tough on all families. But for single parents, having to suddenly manage kids whose schools and playgrounds are closed and whose caregivers can no longer come to work can be especially overwhelming. Click here to see all resources related to the coronavirus crisis.

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Tools for Educators to Listen and Learn from Families

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Tools for Educators to Listen and Learn from Families

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Tools for Educators to Listen to and Learn from Families During COVID-19 School Closures

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An Educational Leadership Special Report | Volume 77
A New Reality: Getting Remote Learning Right Pages 51-53

Dena Simmons

During my childhood summers, my sisters and I stayed inside our one-bedroom apartment for days on end. Nice weather in our Bronx neighborhood meant more people socializing at bodegas and on building stoops, which often led to more troublemaking. If we ventured outside, there was always the chance of being hit by a stray bullet. Today, more than two decades later, the world is different, and though I am light years away from the one-bedroom apartment on Creston Avenue, I still carry with me the fear and anxiety from my own and our nation's past traumas.

As I sit in my apartment after days inside, having developed the stamina for a life indoors, I cannot help but thinking of our young people, who've grown up in a time of rampant school shootings, and who are now enduring the COVID-19 pandemic. Their school lessons ended abruptly-projects unfinished, conversations pending, graduations cancelled, and pivotal experiences stolen. I worry about how our youth are feeling as they adjust to all their recent losses and our new normal, one characterized by social distancing.

And social distancing is not the same for everyone-for our students and adults alike. Although I was fortunate to grow up in a loving and nurturing home, some children risk abuse and violence more frequently now that they may be in the constant presence of their perpetrators. Others might have small homes like I did as a child, leaving little room to do anything without the distraction of relatives or siblings and the resulting frustration of having no personal space. Some students, conversely, are home all alone, since their caregivers do not have the privilege of jobs that keep them safely inside. A few might feel alienated by embarrassment about where they live, as I did during my boarding school years when my classmates' parents forbade them from dropping me off in what they referred to as my "dangerous" neighborhood.

Magnifying Existing Problems

Most of all, the novel coronavirus outbreak has put a mirror in front of our faces, magnifying the inequities in our school systems-and in our society-that too many of us have allowed to exist without question. Districts like New York City agonized over closing schools for far longer than they should have because officials had to confront an ethical dilemma: risk greater infections or put millions of children out on the streets, since many of them depend on schools not only for an education but also for food and basic supports, and some even for safe shelter during the day. The fact that closing schools presented such a challenge for districts nationally should be something that upsets us greatly.

Fortunately, many districts and schools are still offering free meals, but the safe haven and the opportunities for academic, social, and emotional learning are a bit more difficult to provide when everyone is dispersed. Some districts have provided children tablets, but there are still far too many students without the necessary tools for distance learning, including reliable internet service. For example, I recently heard about a 4th grade girl in Georgia named Trinity who started selling lemonade in her neighborhood to earn money for a computer so that she could participate in schoolwork. Jasmine Crowe, founder of Goodr, which aims to end hunger through minimizing food waste, encountered Trinity's stand and put her plea on Twitter. Within a day, people from across the country made donations, helping Trinity raise sufficient funds, and my friend Mary Jo Madda of Google even bought her a tablet. This is one beautiful story of the human spirit, but many more children will not be as lucky as Trinity. We should not have had to wait until a pandemic to provide all children with what they need to thrive as learners in and out of school.

Building Partnerships

During this fragile time, collaborations like the one that amplified Trinity's story are crucial. Thankfully, organizations like PCs for People and EveryoneOn have always worked to connect families to free and affordable computers and internet service. And now phone and cable and internet companies are stepping up to fill the digital gaps. But it is difficult not to wonder why we haven't invested in our young people's educational resources and access more generously before. This is a question we must ponder and continue to ask on the other side of the pandemic, especially since educational equity requires partnerships between groups-inside and outside of the school system.

One such partnership is with our students' families. With our new reliance on caregivers to support student learning, the urgency to be more welcoming to families as partners has become far greater, as has eradicating the obstacles that get in the way of family engagement: language barriers, the digital divide, and the fact that some caregivers have been failed by inadequate schooling or suffer from learning challenges. How can we begin to prioritize the goal of making academic content and school resources more accessible? And how can we provide information in easy and comprehensible ways, so that any caregiver can support their young family members?

Despite all that we do to help families, despite trying to get children the digital resources they need, not all children are capable of learning online, especially since many of the online learning options do not take into account children who are hard of hearing, visually impaired, physically challenged, or have developmental delays. And some distance-learning resources are not translated into students' home languages, nor do they take into account scholars who aren't yet meeting grade-level requirements.

Therefore, as we embark on figuring out distance learning at scale, we must consider a variety of methods for engaging learners-calling students by phone, sending tutorial videos, and allowing students to demonstrate their understanding through varied methods. As we come up with remote-learning lessons, let's consider employing projects that rely on what families have at their disposal (resources and capabilities), and invite students to select topics that are not only relevant and interesting to them, but also tied to devising solutions to their current realities.

Another helpful idea is to create school projects that are relevant to the whole family and allow family members to do activities together (if safe and possible)-like making bread or using math to convert the portions for more or less people (for middle schoolers), or organizing a closet by color and texture (for younger students). Additionally, part of our support to families must include social and emotional resources for managing uncomfortable feelings, as well as giving families the brave space to feel and communicate their feelings-and ways to opt out of activities and assignments that cause too much strain on everyone in the home.

Learning from the Pauses

In the end, I do not have all the answers to the questions that this pandemic has forced educators to contemplate-but I know that there was a time before computers, tablets, and cell phones when teaching and learning happened, when we figured out how to lead a life. I know that we are capable of ingenuity, of adapting, and of healing. I know that we can learn from the pauses in our lives and use them as opportunities to reflect and reevaluate what's important to us. What will COVID-19 teach us? What will it inspire us to change? What will we have to improve to engage our students and families more meaningfully and equitably?

In the coming months, when we return to some level of normalcy, we will not be the same. We will be a bit shaken, maybe even a bit more paranoid about germs, but I hope we will have learned to be more deliberate about human connection, more purposeful about educating all children well, more aware of the power of human goodness, and more focused on partnering with families and organizations to educate all youth.

On some level, COVID-19 is our equity check, reminding us of who we could be if we valued equity as much as we say we do. Let's not wait until the next pandemic to get it right. If we do, the ones who will suffer will be the ones who always suffer-the people most in need. This novel virus is a wake-up call, an opportunity for us to come together to do and be better for every single child.

Dena Simmons is a lifelong learner, educator, and activist who supports schools throughout the nation in implementing social and emotional learning and culturally responsive and equitable practices. She is the author of the forthcoming book, White Rules for Black People (St. Martin's Press, 2021). Follow her on Twitter.

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An Educational Leadership Special Report | Volume 77 A New Reality: Getting Remote Learning Right Pages 51-53 Dena Simmons During my childhood summers, my sisters and I stayed inside our one-bedroom apartment for days on end. Nice weather in our Bronx neighborhood meant more people socializing at bodegas and on building stoops, which often led to more troublemaking.

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Maintining predictability, consistency, and Belonging

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How can we maintain predictability, consistency and sense of belonging?

Given the stress and the potentially traumatic impact of the COVID-19 crisis, predictable and consistent routines are critically important in helping students feel calm and comfort in the face of stress. Providing a structure that enables students to know when their teacher will be available to them can be a lifesaver for many children. Knowing that there will continue to be an opportunity to interact with peers online can be exciting and energizing for students, solidifying their sense of belonging and their enthusiasm about returning to the school community when the crisis is over.

Trauma-sensitive educators told us that no matter how the remote learning is taking place across the district, (from direct instruction online as a class group, to remote learning with no face-to-face contact with a teacher or peers, etc.), having a regular time several times a week set aside for students to talk with their teachers-whether it be face to face, on a device or voice only on a phone- is critically important to buffer the traumatic impact of the current situation. Being able to access the constancy and stability that this important relationship provides to students, reinforcing their sense of connection with their teacher and their role as a member of the classroom community, is so critically important. At the same time, trauma-sensitive educators emphasized the importance of developing their plans for virtual learning with both predictability and flexibility in mind. School staff recognized from the beginning that not every family is available to supervise learning at home during school day. Some students may have to wait for help from parents until they get home from work in the evening or are watching their younger siblings during the day. Other families are wary of the internet and prefer to use written materials. Trauma-sensitive educators seek to understand and find solutions for the many reasons that may underlie a student's ability to engage with remote learning.
Please share in the comments below what your school has done to maintain a sense of predictability, consistency and belonging for students.
To read more about how trauma-sensitive school leaders are addressing are addressing their urgencies related to remote learning, please click here.

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Trauma-Sensitive Remote Learning: Maintaining Predictability, Consistency and Belonging - Trauma Sensitive Schools

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How can we maintain predictability, consistency and sense of belonging? Given the stress and the potentially traumatic impact of the COVID-19 crisis, predictable and consistent routines are critically important in helping students feel calm and comfort in the face of stress.

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From traumasensitiveschools.org - lots of great resources

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E-Book - Stress Busting Strategies for Teachers

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E-Book - Stress Busting Strategies for Teachers

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https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/CX6156100005/GVRL?u=bcps_ascd&sid=GVRL&xid=a7227104

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Yoga resources for brain breaks
http://www.yomind.com/resource-portal

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https://vimeo.com/227543375

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I found this site that helps create class materials with cute clip art images for virtually every scenario. Great for social stories and classroom signage. You can customize any text that goes with the image and all the images include diverse options or simple black-and-white line drawings. You do have to subscribe (it's $36/year) But it's going to save me a lot of time!

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Simple and Affordable

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Teachers, Therapists and Parents can create custom learning materials for their classroom and teacing needs. Create cheap picture cards, use our powerful language tools like our SoundFinder and build all of your classroom visuals in minutes.

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Easy to use and customize for your activities during the day. I like to use the stoplight to show students my mood so they can watch me self-regulate :)

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At the bottom of your ClassDojo the Toolkit button will give you widgets similar to ClassroomScreen.com

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Establishing consistent expectations and routines and sticking to them!
(example- When my groups come to me they know exactly what to expect due to the established routine for our sessions.)
This helps both me and the students. The kids will remind me if I ever don’t follow the routine!

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Choosing stories and books in which students may see themselves reflected is a small way we can help students feel they belong.

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Designated time for free writing/journaling

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Designated time for free writing/journaling

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This could also be considered a mindfulness tool if accompanied by relaxing music and even a guided meditation.

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This can be anonymous/written or verbal during class meeting.

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Can be written or verbal; during class meeting or a designated area in your room (just like we do in Room 16!)

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These are used to address the general climate, as well as support children who have experienced trauma.  Making the language regarding brain states commonplace in the classrooms is key to helping them develop self-regulation skills!

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Another Dashboard platform where I like to save different mindfulness videos to pull up at various times. When the students get familiar, they can even choose. You can use mine (shared here) or create your own.