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The study of emotional intelligence (EI) and my EQ-360 report have instilled in me the importance of achieving success through collaboration and teamwork. EI is the ability to identify the causes of emotions, self-regulate, and manage emotions during decision-making. (Stein & Book, 2011). My realization of the path I need to take to grow myself as an emotionally intelligent leader requires two significant changes, the need to manage my internal emotions effectively and act as a leader that inspires inclusivity. The action strategies set-forth focus on assessing a situation with thoughtfulness and actively listening to communicate with those around me effectively to enable change. To enhance relationships is learning to be a good listener and communicator, distinguish between what is said or done, one’s reactions and judgments and learning the art of cooperation, conflict resolution, and negotiating compromise (Goleman, Boyatzis, & McKee, 2013). Succeeding at my goals would enable me to lead with objectivity and inspire workplace motivation as those around me will feel heard, valued and appreciated.

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First Change: Manage Emotions Effectively 

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First Change: Manage Emotions Effectively 

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The first change that I am inspired to make is to manage my internal emotions effectively. Feedback has given me the realization that my inability to analyze and adjust my management style to the feelings around affects others’ perception of myself as a leader. Workers value leaders that are sensitive, sociable and tolerant of stress (Stein & Book, 2011). Managing emotions includes the competency to read social and emotional cues, taking others’ perspectives and understanding what behaviour is acceptable in any given situation (Goleman, 2005). Improving my ability to analyze my biases, stresses, and feelings of those around me will enable me to manage emotions effectively, be in-tune with my surroundings, and consider others.

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Liz Fosslien: How to embrace emotions at work

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"You can't just flip a switch when you step into the office and turn your emotions off. Feeling feelings is part of being human," says author and illustrator Liz Fosslien. She shares why selective vulnerability is the key to bringing your authentic self to work.

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To better analyze and manage emotions, I must improve my ability to assess a situation with thoughtfulness prior to reacting. I must recognize internal emotions such as stress that may impact my mood and identify the reaction it causes in myself. Additionally, I must analyze if an adverse or impulsive reaction stems from a need to protect my ego. According to Stein & Book (2011), the need to protect one’s ego is generally a fear of the portrayal of weakness and can lead to inflexibility in decisions and ideas (p.189). First, I must practice the four ‘D’ method, which includes disputing, debating, differentiating, and discarding data to distinguish between feelings and actions. Second, I must pause to analyze my external environment before responding. Plans made after a period of reflection always have a much greater chance of success (p.177). To distinguish between actions and feelings, and make better emotional decisions, a leader must control the impulse to act, identify alternative steps and consider consequences (Goleman, 2005). I will implement the six steps method that includes pausing to assess, thinking before acting, analyzing emotions evoked, setting positive goals, creating solutions, considering consequences, and deciding on the path to proceed (Goleman, 2005).  By controlling my impulse to act and analyzing the internal and external environment to understand the emotions evoked, I can effectively manage emotions and make better decisions.

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Controlling one's impulse can be rewarding in the long-run.

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Controlling one's impulse can be rewarding in the long-run.

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The Marshmallow Test | Igniter Media | Church Video

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The second change that I am inspired to make is to act as a leader that inspires inclusivity and values contribution. A leader who encourages inclusivity and consideration for others ensures that feelings are validated, and the thoughts and ideas of others are valued (Goleman et al., 2013). To inspire inclusivity, a leader must adjust how they express their feelings to suit the environment (Stein & Book, 2011). By encouraging inclusivity and consideration of others, I, as a leader, will make individuals feel valued, heard and appreciated.

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Action Plan: Active listening to Effectively Communicate

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Action Plan: Active listening to Effectively Communicate

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I must improve my listening and communication skills to portray a higher level of tolerance, sensitivity and inclusivity. The ability to lead with EI involves active listening to ensure people are on board and good communication skills to know how to present ideas and directions to others (Stein & book, 2011). To actively listen and build consensus with others, a leader must understand and consider others’ emotions and respect the differences in opinions and feelings (Goleman et al., 2013). To effectively communicate to others, I must be mindful of the tone of my voice, the pacing of my words, the tendency to interrupt, and must pay attention to the verbal and non-verbal feedback others are continually giving to not to skew the message put forth (Stein & Book, 2011). As a leader, I must hear everyone out, both pro & con, pull out the objections, attempt to deal with them, and adjust plans when flaws are uncovered to accomplish what is best for the organization and not for myself.

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Everybody Loves Raymond Uses Active Listening - from Parent Effectiveness Training

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My goal to effectively manage emotions by controlling the impulse to act and assessing a situation with clarity will enable me to lead with objectivity. To evaluate a situation with clarity, one must accurately recognize situations for what it is and not turn a blind eye to real problems (Stein & Book, 2011, p.169). By leading with objectivity, I will benefit from improved relations with others, solve problems efficiently, make sounder judgments, and manage personal behaviour successfully (Stein & Book, 2011). I will enable my team to feel at ease, encourage free speech, and contribute to building a safe environment for ideas to flow (Stein & Book, 2011).  My goal of inspiring inclusivity through active listening and open communication will boost workplace motivation and increase team contribution. When team members believe they participated in the process, presented their case, and got a fair hearing, they are more likely to go with the prevailing consensus (Stein & Book, 2011). I can build a unified vision towards success only when members feel like they are heard, valued and are motivated to contribute.

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One of the most productive ways of leading others is to create a vision of what’s to be accomplished and inspire others’ actions toward this vision (Stein & Book, 2011). Through my goal of managing emotions, I am leading with an increased level of objectivity in situations, which will display an increased level of reality testing. By improving the emotional analysis of self and the environment, I increase self-awareness. By slowing down the need to act in the spur of the moment, I strengthen my impulse control. Secondly, through my goal of motivating others through inclusivity and collaboration, I, as a leader, will foster confidence that will drive contribution amongst team members. By increasing my active listening to communicate effectively, I improve my emotional expression. By validating others’ feelings, I demonstrate empathy for others. The time taken to examine biases, stress levels, and articulate thoughts and emotions while paying attention to others will enable me to come out ahead of the game every time (Stein & Book, 201l, p. 178). A resonant leader understands how to build on strengths, reduce gaps, practice new behaviours, develop supportive and trusting relationships that make change possible, and create sustainable growth (Goleman et al., 2013). By leading with higher emotional intelligence, I will, as a leader, inspire others, drive resonance, and improve performance in-turn.

Image Credit: Relationships of Current Theories of Emotional Intelligence, Resilience, and Resonant Leadership (Boyatzis & McKee, 2005; Goleman, 1995; Reivich & Shatté, 2002)

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Goleman, D.R. (2005). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ (tenth edition). New York: Bantam Books.

Goleman, D., Boyatzis, R., & McKee, A. (2013). Primal leadership: Unleashing the power of emotional intelligence, chapters 9, 10. Boston, Massachusetts: Harvard Business School Press.

Stein, S.J., & Book, H.E. (2011). The EQ Edge: Emotional intelligence and your success. chapters 1 - 8. Mississauga, Ontario: John Wiley & Sons Canada, Ltd. Retrieved from https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.ezproxy.royalroads.ca/lib/royalroads-ebooks/detail.action?docID=693286