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Conflict resolution activities and strategies for the classroom. Teach kids to solve problems peacefully and resolve conflicts independently.
Conflict resolution is an important skill that students need to learn - beneficial to them within the classroom as well as in everyday life. Not only will kids use conflict resolution in the classroom, they will also continue to use these skills as they grow. The conflict resolution skills they learn in elementary school will help them solve problems as adults. So how do we teach conflict resolution in the classroom?

Effective Conflict Resolution Activities for Classrooms

Children learn social-emotional skills by watching, practicing, and eventually adopting the behaviors for themselves. Below you will find ideas about what conflict and conflict resolution is, and how to teach students the various aspects of this important life skill.

What is Conflict?

Conflict is a disagreement or problem that happens between two or more people. It can happen to anyone, from best friends to enemies. Most conflicts start small, but they continue to grow, snowballing into major problems. As teachers, we can explain what conflict is, in order to effectively teach how to keep conflicts from becoming major problems in the classroom.

What is Conflict Resolution?

When there's a problem, it's important to address the problem in a peaceful way, understanding both sides of the situation. This is conflict resolution or peaceful problem solving as I like to call it in my classroom. Conflict resolution is an important skill to have, both in the classroom and in life. By helping our students practice and adopt healthy ways of solving interpersonal problems, we help them succeed in other areas of their education and life as well.

How Do You Teach Conflict Resolution?

There are many steps to teaching conflict resolution. To truly teach conflict resolution, you'll need to teach your students how to analyze the conflict. They'll need to be able to identify the problem and try to understand what's causing it.

Teach Understanding - Students need to understand what conflict is and how it can have a negative effect on a person. This type of understanding will help them know why conflict resolution is so important.

Teach Empathy - After understanding comes empathy. Once students understand conflict, they should learn to empathize with all other students involved. Conflict affects more than one person, so to resolve it, it's important to empathize with the other person's feelings

Teach Responsibility - Conflict involves more than one person. The students involved need to know how to take responsibility for their own part in the conflict. Whether they caused the problem or simply exasperated the situation, they need to admit that they were wrong and be willing to do their part to make amends.

Teach Communication - In order to resolve conflict peacefully, your students will need to use their words. Communication is vital to conflict resolution, so teach them how to talk about the issue and come to a mutually beneficial solution.

Teach Choice - Children need more than one strategy to solve a conflict independently. Talk about these different ways during a classroom meeting and have them practice different types with a friend. The 'Wheel of Choice' below offers many strategies that are simple and effective for kids.

How Can Conflict Resolution Activities Be Used in the Classroom?

Kids will always have some sort of conflict, whether big or small. The conflict between kids can be anything, whether they're fighting over a toy or pushing another student down at recess. Conflict resolution can be used in the classroom to help keep the peace between kids. When a small problem arises, such as a friend cutting them in line, your students can use what you've taught them about conflict resolution to fix the problem before it becomes more of an issue.

Teach kids a peaceful problem-solving method that they can practice and use with growing independence at school. The process involves the children following 4 simple steps to solve their conflict.

Conflict Resolution Activities

Kids learn best when they practice. This is especially true for conflict resolution. When you give your students fun ways to learn conflict resolution, they'll have a blast practicing it. The more they practice, the more it becomes second nature. If you're looking forward to teaching conflict resolution in your classroom, here are a few activities you can use to make it fun.

Role Play - A great way to teach conflict resolution is to role-play various scenarios. By acting out tough situations that might require conflict resolution, your kids have a safe place to work through the issue. You can discuss the process with them after, going through what they could do better next time. Great scenarios to role-play include resolving conflict with a bully, fixing a friendship after a fight, or getting along with a sibling.

Play a Game - Playing games with peers involves learning to get along and figuring out rules together. If issues arise during a game, they can work together calming to solve the problem and continue playing. "What the Solution?" is a fun card game to play that involves kids coming up with solutions to solve common problems.

Creative Writing - Encourage kids to write down or draw a picture to depict a story that includes a problem and a solution. This can be done as a short story or as a script. Encourage students to read or share their story with the class and allow students to talk about what they would do to resolve the same conflict.

Puppet Show - This is a wonderful activity if you have some students too shy to stand in front of the entire class. Have students work in groups to put on a puppet show. Students will have fun designing puppets, all while working together to learn how conflicts can be resolved peacefully.

Peace Maker Promise - Have children learn and sort differences between a peacemaker and peace breaker. Have them take an oath to be a peacemaker in the classroom.

Books that Teach Conflict Resolution

Reading books to your students can help you teach them about conflict resolution in a safe but fun way. The problems the characters face are oftentimes ones that your students have faced as well. As the characters journey through their problems towards resolution, children will get the chance to see a healthy way to handle conflict. Here are just a few books you can read to you students to teach conflict resolution.

Talk and Work It Out - This book, written by Cheri J. Meiners, is a great way to teach conflict resolution to students. This book focuses on using your words to solve problems instead of acting out. By teaching students to use their words, you're teaching them how to peacefully solve their problems instead of using anger and aggression.

Let's Be Enemies - Janice May Udry is the author of this book on conflict resolution. In this story, two friends become enemies due to unresolved conflict. Your students will love listening to the story as James and John work out their issues.

Give It Back! - Conflict happens at home as well as in the classroom. This conflict resolution book teaches kids how to resolve conflict with their siblings. These conflict resolution skills can be used in the classroom and on the playground as well.

Enemy Pie - One of the best outcomes you can hope for is turning an enemy into a friend. This book, written by Derek Munson, helps kids understand more about resolving problems and making friends in a creative way.

Confessions of a Former Bully - True conflict resolution requires understanding. Trudy Ludwig uses this book to help kids understand what a bully might be going through. This can help them look deeper so they can figure out why a bully might be acting out, helping them to better resolve the conflict.

There are so many fun ways to teach conflict resolution to your students. Which of these activities do you plan to use in your classroom?

Conflict Resolution Activities and Resources

FREE Responsibility Punch Cards

Catch kids when they are being independent and responsible problem solvers with a hole punch in the "Caught Being Responsible" punch cards.
Click the image below to download the FREE Responsible Punch Cards.

Responsibility & Conflict Resolution Curriculum

The Responsibility SEL Curriculum includes 5 lessons and many activities that teach children about responsibility, goal setting, conflict resolution, and anti-bullying.

mind+heart Social Emotional Learning Curriculum

The mind + heart Social Emotional Learning Curriculum includes 8 units with 5+ detailed, character education, research-based LESSONS filled with TONS of hands-on and mindful ACTIVITIES that encourage children to express themselves and build important emotional and social skills. Click HERE for more details on the program.

mind+heart SEL Morning Meeting Bundle

Transform your classroom with a daily 15 minute morning meeting. Get everything you need for a daily meeting in this HUGE bundle. Check out this year-long morning meeting resource today!
Teach Kids How to be Responsible with the Best Books and Videos Teaching Responsibility in the Classroom Growth Mindset Activities
Read more about Empowering Kids to be Responsible

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Effective Conflict Resolution Activities for Classrooms

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Conflict resolution activities and strategies for the classroom. Teach kids to solve problems peacefully and resolve conflicts independently.

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4 Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies in the Classroom | Resilient Educator

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In your classroom, you’re bound to come across conflict—it’s virtually unavoidable. Here’s how to resolve them effectively.

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Teaching Conflict Resolution Skills in 6 Easy Steps

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Resolving conflicts in 6 steps. Teaching elementary school students to resolve conflicts can improve their social-emotional understanding and help your classroom management.

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Teachers at Lister Elementary School, in Tacoma, Washington, help students compare and contrast the sizes of problems by having them fill out a Big vs. Little Problems worksheet with actual examples.

The "Size of the Problem" activity and worksheet are from The Zones of Regulation, by Leah M. Kuypers, available from Think Social Publishing, Inc. Adapted for The Zones of Regulation from the original work of Michelle Garcia Winner's Think Social (2005) and Kari Dunn Buron and Mitzi Curtis's The Incredible 5-Point Scale (2003). All rights reserved. Used with permission.

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Learning to Measure the Size of a Problem

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When elementary students compare the relative importance of a range of problems, they learn to take charge of their reactions.

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Learn how shame impacts the behavior of aggressive kids. These positive parenting tips will help you get to the root of the problem and begin to free your child from negative self-talk, anger, and acting out.
The meticulously created Lego creation smashes against the wall and shatters into a hundred pieces.

"That's enough!" You yell, hoping to diffuse the situation.

He screams back, picking up another handful of Legos.

"What has gotten into you? We don't throw toys in this house!"

Your response only seems to fuel the fire.

Trying a different tactic, you switch to empathy, "You seem angry."

"I'm not angry!" He screams back.

What?!

If he's not angry, you don't know what other emotion would fit.

You're tired of this behavior. Over the past few months, these angry fits have been increasing. No amount of timeouts, punishment, or consequences seem to make a difference.
Maybe it's time for a radically different approach.
Aggressive Kids: The "I'm a bad kid" cycle.

If you're ready to address this behavior from a new perspective, you're going to have to look beyond the flying Legos.

Let's imagine, just for a moment, that your child wants to do well. He wants to make good choices. He wants to be connected to you.

But sometimes, he enters the "I'm a bad kid cycle."
Here's how it works:
Your child feels a big emotion - maybe anger, frustration, anxiety, or disappointment.

He has no idea how to handle this big feeling, so he just reacts - throwing things, slamming doors, hitting his sibling.

Immediately after he engages in these behaviors, he feels horrible. Terrible. Maybe even shocked. The first thought that crosses his mind is, "I'm a bad kid."

Since you're nearby, you respond to the behavior: yelling, giving a consequence, repeating the house rules.

Your response confirms his thought, "See, mom thinks I'm a bad kid too."

The more often he tells himself this thought, the more he believes it. And, the more he believes it, the more often his behavior reflects it.

Fueled by shame.

Shame is the powerful force that keeps this cycle spinning.

Beyond "I'm a bad kid," shame quietly whispers, "You're not worthy of love."

Suddenly aggressive kids are on the defense. They try to ignore the horrible feelings and minimize their actions so they appear lovable, contradicting the obvious by saying, "I didn't hit my sister" or "I'm not angry."

Some kids push you away, verbally or physically, "Get away from me! Can't you see I messed up? I'm a bad kid. I don't deserve love."

These kids are stuck. They need your help.
Related: How to Respond When Your Child is Disrespectful
Interrupting the cycle.

Most of the time, parents have no idea how much shame their child is experiencing.

Your child's behavior seems to be a personal attack against you. It seems that your child is intentionally acting out to get their way, or that they know how to handle the situation better, but they are choosing not to.

And sometimes, you may be right.

But for a lot of aggressive kids, the behavior you see is a sign that they are stuck in the "I'm a bad kid cycle."

What if, instead of trying to find the "perfect consequence" for your child's behavior, you helped him escape this cycle? What if you gave him a way out?

Here are 5 Ways to Interrupt the "I'm a bad kid cycle."

Work on your stuff: It's difficult to help your child break this cycle if you are stuck in your own shame. Take some time to look at your parenting triggers, find time for self-care, or create some positive mantras. Instead of criticizing your past mistakes, give yourself some grace. Find a community or support as you work to make changes.

Quiet the alarm: When kids are aggressive or yelling, your natural response may be to match their intensity with your own (as if an alarm was going off in your head). Unfortunately, this response perpetuates the cycle. Instead, take a few breaths to calm your own emotions before you respond. Silence the alarm by reminding yourself that "this is not an emergency."

Look past the behavior: Many parents feel an urgency to punish or "teach a lesson" when their children act out. Smashing toys, stomping feet, and hitting siblings are signs that your child is dysregulated, or that they need new strategies to manage big feelings. Sometimes, it requires a little detective work on your part to understand what thoughts or feelings may be impacting their behavior.

Empathize with the struggle: Put your child's complex emotions into words, "That Lego creation wasn't coming together as you hoped, was it? Your hands felt like throwing, and now you have to start all over. I bet you wish you didn't throw it, huh? It's not always easy to make good choices when we're frustrated." You don't have to agree with their behavior to let them know you understand.

Set boundaries with compassion: Creating a safe environment and setting firm limits is important, but it does not need to be done with harshness. Get below your child's eye level, if possible. Offer a hug or comfort. Redirect hitting hands with gentleness rather than force. Use your calm confident presence to send the message, "This seems big and scary, but we can handle it. I am here with you."

Why it works.

If you're ready to help your child escape the "I'm a bad kid cycle" you need to be willing to connect on an emotional level before you correct the behavior.

This is not an easy step.

You may find yourself doing whatever it takes to stop the tantrum, silence the frustrated cries, and jump in and solve the problem so peace can return to your home.

But, here's the thing - when you are willing to say, "I see you struggling AND I love you in this moment," shame cannot survive.
Your child can escape the cycle!
Now, your child can learn to manage frustration, they can overcome anxiety and embrace imperfection because they know that they are worthy of love no matter what.

Maybe that's not such a radically different approach after all.

Support is available!

If you're ready to break this "bad kid" cycle for your child, but are still not sure how it works, online Parent Coaching is a great option. We can talk through your frustrations, the challenges, the disappointment, and the guilt, and find solutions that will help your aggressive child thrive and bring peace back to your home. Learn more about my money back guarantee and schedule your first Parent Coaching appointment today.

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Aggressive Kids: Positive Discipline for Amazing Results

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Learn how shame impacts the behavior of aggressive kids. These positive parenting tips will help you get to the root of the problem and begin to free your child from negative self-talk, anger, and acting out. The meticulously created Lego creation smashes against the wall and shatters into a hundred pieces.

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I grew up in a happy-go-lucky family household where being happy was expected. So my daughter's intense emotions often catch me off guard. My first reaction to her outbursts is to want to make the screaming stop.

But, I've been thinking a lot lately about how to help my daughter manage her intense emotions and teach her to self-regulate in a way that honors her feelings without suppressing her personality. We've read books on anger, and now I'm exploring how yoga can help us both in this journey of managing big emotions.
* This post may contain affiliate links for your convenience. Click here for my full disclosure.
So, today, let's imagine our children using yoga poses and the power of their breath to release their anger. Teach this yoga sequence below when you and your child are both calm and happy. Once you are both comfortable with this anger-reducing yoga sequence, it'll be easier to go through the flow of the yoga postures when you start to feel the signs of anger.

Yoga research has proven to help us move from our amygdala ( fight-or-flight response) to our prefrontal cortex ( regulating emotions and problem-solving), so that we are able to think more clearly and make good choices. Our ultimate goal is to help our children (and ourselves) to regulate big emotions before we hurt ourselves or our loved ones mentally or physically.

5 Yoga Poses for Kids to Calm Angry Feelings

Join us for a pretend journey to the African safari through these animal yoga poses, which are specifically ordered to invite flow from one pose to the next. To start, clear a space to avoid any obstacles and practice barefoot (if possible). Don't worry if you haven't tried yoga before; just jump in and give it a go. Practicing perfectly aligned poses is not the focus here. The point is to release anger through movement. Adapt these yoga poses to suit your needs to make the experience your own.
WIDE-LEGGED FORWARD BEND - Pretend to be an elephant.
Stand tall with legs hip-width apart, feet facing forward, and straighten your arms alongside your body. Step your feet out wide, clasp your hands together, and take your hands above your head. Then on a loud exhale, say "Ha" and swing your arms down below your legs, pretending that your arms are the trunk of an elephant. Then, inhale while raising your hands back above your head. Repeat the strong exhale a few times to release your anger.
DOWNWARD-FACING DOG POSE - Pretend to be a jackal.
Bring your palms flat to the floor, step back to your hands and feet in an upside-down V shape, with your buttocks up in the air, and stretch like a jackal. Turn your world upside down to release your anger. Try doing that same audible "Ha" exhale to let go of your frustrations.
PLANK POSE - Pretend to be a crocodile.
From Downward-Facing Dog Pose, shift forward to balance on your palms and on your bent toes in a plank position. Keep your arms straight and your back long and flat. Pretend to be a crocodile gliding through the water. Stay in this position for a few breaths to build heat in your body. Try a breathing practice of inhaling for three counts and exhaling for three counts. On every exhale, imagine releasing your anger. Feel your body calming down.
CHILD'S POSE - Pretend to be a hippo.
Drop your knees to the ground and come back to sitting on your heels. Slowly bring your forehead down to rest on the floor in front of your knees and rest your arms down alongside your body. Pretend to be a hippo in the murky river. Take a few deep breaths to calm your mind. Try saying the mantra "I am okay" to bring yourself back to center. Imagine someone has put a blanket around you filled with love and light.
RESTING POSE - Pretend to be a lion.
When you're ready, lie on your back with your arms and legs stretched out (or in a fetal position), like a lion. Breathe and rest. Try a lion's breath by sticking your tongue out on an exhale. Relax your entire body. Stay in this position as long as you feel comfortable.
Click here to get your Calm Down Poster for Angry Feelings
Tips for helping your child use yoga for calming angry feelings:

Follow your child's response and don't force them to flow through these yoga postures. On the first time, you might only practice one pose with a breathing technique. These anger-reducing yoga poses are meant to be a source of inspiration for you, but feel free to encourage your child's imagination.

The purpose is to find a yoga sequence that works for you both to reduce your anger. Trying to create perfect postures is sure to fuel the anger and frustration.

This is supposed to be light-hearted and fun, and your child should feel safe to express their emotions. So focus on relaxing, not on perfecting the postures-or even on doing the "right" poses.

Afterwards, your child might be more willing to talk about the cause of their anger, or practicing the yoga poses might just be the trick for bringing them back to balance without discussing further. Honor their emotions and trust in yourself.

For more resources for helping calm angry feelings:
13 Phrases to Calm an Angry Child
100 Calm Down Tools You can Use Today
15 Surefire Tips to Calm an Angry Child About the Author
I'm learning to accept myself and my daughter, too. The more I resisted our intense anger, the worse it got. These yoga practices help us both to calm our minds and help us to reconnect. I hope they work for you, too!

The image is a link. You can click on it.

. Her yoga books for kids get children learning, moving, and having fun. Giselle draws from her experiences as a teacher, traveler, yogi, and mom to write the yoga stories found at Giselle Shardlow is the author of Kids Yoga Stories Yoga Stories or on Amazon worldwide. The purpose of her yoga books is to foster happy, healthy, and globally educated children. Find Giselle on Facebook , Pinterest , Instagram , and Twitter .

More Adventures in Parenting

Finally, I have created FREE 10 Day Email Series to get the top secrets on how to calm your worried child so both of you can have a better day!

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5 Simple Ways to help Children Calm Angry Feelings with Yoga (Free Printable)

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I grew up in a happy-go-lucky family household where being happy was expected. So my daughter's intense emotions often catch me off guard. My first reaction to her outbursts is to want to make the screaming stop.

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Inside: Kid-friendly coping skills used to help manage anger, including safe ways to express anger, books to read and videos that can help. This post contains affiliate links. Learn more.
It's starting again, as usual, right after your son gets off the school bus. He is frustrated from things that happened during the day, and now he's yelling and stomping around the house. You're feeling overwhelmed and don't know what to do next.
How do you help an angry child?
Here's a collection of the best tools and tips to teach children how to manage their anger in safe and healthy ways. Let's start with some quick, safe ways to help kids express those feelings.

Looking for more quick ideas to help kids express their anger?
Stop sensory meltdowns by hanging upside down 5 simple ways to help children calm angry feelings 10 more ways to help kids manage anger A Different Way to Respond When Your Child is Aggressive
We need to help our kids understand and expect that they will experience a variety of feelings as they go through life, including anger. It's normal to feel angry at times. It's what you do with those feelings that matter.

Here's a great reminder from Imperfect Families that anger is a feeling too.

When a child is in fight, flight or freeze mode, they can't process information as well as when their body is in rest and digest mode. This is not a teachable moment, and they can't take in a lecture at this point. Your goal is to get them through this rough moment. It's best to keep talking to a minimum. When you do speak, make sure you use a neutral, calm, and quiet tone. Keep it short and repeat the same phrase. Repeating it is helpful because they aren't processing information and words as they usually would. Repetition makes it more likely that they'll hear what you are saying.

Phrases that you can say at that moment:

"I'm here for you."

"I love you."

"I want to help you."

"Let me know when you're ready."

"You are mad; I get it."

"I understand."

Looking for some more inspiration for phrases to say? Check this out:
26 Phrases to Calm and Angry Child
When some kids get big feelings, they destroy items around them - rip books, throw toys, etc. If that's the case for your child, it may be helpful for you to set up a safe spot where kids can go when they are angry. In that space, take everything out that can be destroyed or thrown that might injure someone or damage property. If you have more than one floor, set up a safe spot on each level of your home.

If you aren't in the safe spot when your child is dealing with big feelings, move harmful objects out of the way and try to get them to that safe place.

It may make sense to set up their room as a safe place too. We found this helpful when our son was dealing with a lot of angry feelings. We moved his toys and his bookshelf to a different room in the house so he could still play with them. The items that stayed in his room were those things that wouldn't hurt him or us. We did this to keep everyone, including him, safe. And as time went on, and he had better control of his emotions, we were able to add things back to his room.

How to Make a Calm Down Spot at home
Calm Space in Schools
One of the best things you can do is work on teaching coping skills kids can use before things escalate to epic proportions. The trick is practicing when they are in a calm and relaxed mood, not in the moment when they are angry.

Identify Triggers

Start by talking about what's making them angry. Help them identify those triggers, so you both know for the next time. Is it a particular school subject that makes them frustrated? Perhaps being hungry or thirsty? Are their specific noises or locations that are frustrating?

help kids identify where they feel angry in their body

Sometimes, kids don't know they're angry until after the explosion has happened. Help them identify the signs their body gives them that they are feeling angry. Over time, they'll start to recognize that feeling and ideally use a coping skill before things get too overwhelming.

Explore what other emotions they may be feeling

When kids are angry, there are usually other feelings that they are experiencing too. But anger is easy to see and often hides different feelings that lie below the surface. It's sometimes referred to as the "Anger Iceberg." It takes a bit of time to figure it out, but when your child is in a calm place, talk about what other feelings may be hiding underneath their anger.

Read more about the anger iceberg here.

Identify and practice coping skills

Now that they know what causes those big feelings and how to identify them, help them figure out ways to deal with those feelings in safe and healthy ways. Go through the coping skills checklist and have kids check off the skills that work for them, cross off the ones that don't and circle the ones they want to try.

Identify one coping skill your child would like to try. Take a few minutes during the week and have them practice a coping skill they may be able to use next time. For example, if they are going to try using shapes for deep breathing, have them practice before, so they know how it feels. The idea is to have them practice, so they know what it feels like to do it when they are calm.

Using coping skills to deal with big feelings will not go perfectly every time. Learning to manage anger is a work in progress. Little by little, with practice and time, kids will get better at it. Encourage them when they make safe and healthy choices. When they don't, continue to work with them to figure out better steps they can take the next time.

Use a Feelings Thermometer

Using a feelings thermometer can help kids make the connection between their feelings and their coping skills. Here's how you can make an anger thermometer.

How to Make an Anger Thermometer:

Have the child pick out three colors, one for each section of the thermometer and color it in. Then talk about each section.

Ask what it looks like when they are just a little angry, at the bottom of the thermometer. Do they sigh loudly, growl, etc.?

Then move on to the middle section of the thermometer. If they are medium-sized angry, what does that look like? Does their voice get louder? Do they stomp their feet, etc.?

Finally, talk about what it looks like when they are experiencing big anger at the top of the thermometer. What does that look like? Is it yelling, throwing things, etc.?

It isn't always easy for kids to do this. If they are having a hard time identifying what the behaviors were, I tell them what I noticed the last time I saw them get angry. Or, if I haven't seen them angry, I'll give them a prompt to help them, like "When some kids get angry, they yell, is that something you do?"

Once we go through and identify behaviors on the thermometer, then we work on identifying coping skills they can use to calm down. Some examples include getting a drink of water, taking deep breaths, shredding paper, or taking a break.

Make sure they have coping skills that will help them at each level of anger. It's essential to have a variety of coping skills for each level because not all coping skills will work all the time. For some kids, taking a drink of water can help calm them down when they are just slightly angry. However, when they are furious, getting a drink of water won't help. They need to do something different at that point, like take a break.

When Sophie Gets Angry, Really, Really Angry by Molly Bang Poor Sophie has a hard time managing her anger when she has to share gorilla with her sister. It's a visually appealing book to show how big her feelings get and how it looks when she calms down again.

When I Feel Angry by Cornelia Maude Spelman This is part of "The Way I Feel" series. It explains how different things can make you angry, and that feeling angry is an expected part of life, but it's what you do when you're feeling that way that matters.

Cool Down and Work Through Anger by Cheri J. Meiners M.Ed. Another great book that talks about how anger affects your body and suggesting safe ways to express yourself.

Angry Octopus by Lori Lite and Max Stasuyk A great book that actually is a progressive muscle relaxation and deep breathing script for kids. It's wonderful!

Don't Rant and Rave on Wednesdays by Adolph Moser It mentions the consequences of having unchecked anger, and acknowledges that adults struggle with this too. A large part of the book explains different strategies kids can use to express anger in a safe way, which I think is fantastic.

How to Take The Grrrr Out of Anger by Elizabeth Verdick and Marjorie Lisovskis I love using this book for kids who are having a hard time managing being angry. I typically read one chapter at a time with the kids and work on some of the strategies listed in the book.

What to Do When Your Temper Flares by Dawn Huebner This book has lovely illustrations and goes through "anger dousing" methods.

Happiness Doesn't Come from Headstands by Tamara Levitt. This is a beautifully illustrated book all about growth mindset and resilience. Leela wants to do headstands and is getting frustrated, and believes the only way she can be happy is if she does headstands. With the help of a friend, she shifts her focus from what she can't do to what she can and focuses on the journey, not the singular goal is doing a headstand.

The Secret to Clara's Calm by Tamara Levitt. This is another beautifully illustrated book that demonstrates the power of mindfulness in managing big feelings. Clara has a bad temper and has big reactions to small problems, but then that leads to kids not wanting to be around her anymore. She works on learning how to be mindful and manage her big feelings with the help of a bird named Brodhi.

Chillax!: How Ernie Learns to Chill Out, Relax and Take Charge of His Anger by Marcella Marino Craver This is a graphic novel, perfect for the tween set.

It's common for parents to struggle with staying calm when their child is angry. As a mom, I know that's tough, especially when your child is having a difficult time. But it's important to learn to do it. You have to get yourself calm before you can help your child. One of the best ways to help your child is to make sure you stay calm yourself.

Use Self-Talk

Here are some phrases that may help you as you are working with your angry kid:

They're having a hard time, not giving me a hard time.

Share my calm, don't join their chaos.

I am in charge of staying calm, no matter how my child is acting and behaving.

All feelings are OK. My job is to help my kid manage them.

I can remain calm, and be a good example for my child.

Be the thermostat, not the thermometer.

TAKE Deep Breaths

If you're getting upset and about to blow up, try deep breathing. I know, it sounds hokey, but it makes a difference. When you are feeling overwhelmed, your body can go into fight, flight, or freeze mode, but in situations like these, you want to stay in rest and digest mode. By taking deep breaths, you're signaling your body to go back to rest and digest mode. Expand your belly as you inhale, and contract your belly as you exhale. Try taking several deep breaths before you take steps to intervene.

Use a grounding technique

If you're overwhelmed, sometimes it helps to do a grounding exercise to calm yourself down.

FIND your support system

Know that you are not alone. Read what this mom has to say about parenting an angry child. If you don't have a support system, then it's time to find one. Here are some ideas for both in person and online support groups to help you.
In Person Support:
There are lots of places you can get support in person. One resource I love is the National Alliance on Mental Illness. They offer Family Support Groups, which meet regularly. They also offer a 12 week class for parents by parents, called Family to Family Support. Search for your local NAMI chapter here.

Having support for your child outside of your family can be a lifesaver. Talk to the school, teachers and coaches to help support your child during a difficult time. Sharing knowledge about what strategies work, and how you child responds in different environments is invaluable information.

You can also seek help from a licensed therapist to help support you. It's great to have someone to talk through the tough situations you are experiencing. If scheduling an in-person meeting is tough, you can see therapists online at sites like betterhelp.com. Some kids also benefit from seeing their own therapist. Read this to get a little more information about when you should seek outside help for your child.
Facebook Groups:
Did you know you can search for groups on Facebook to find others who are struggling with similar issues to yours? Here are some active Facebook Groups that have been helpful for families.
Note: You may need to apply to some of these groups in order to be added.
Support for Sensory Needs

Raising Poppies

Happy Sensitive Kids Community

Modern Parenting

The Neighborhood, Imperfect Families

The World's Okayest Parents
Coping Skills for Kids Group
As your son continues to stomp and growl, you take a few deep breaths and say to yourself "Be the thermostat, not the thermometer." Then, in a calm voice, you say to your son "I'm here to help. I love you."

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Inside: Kid-friendly coping skills used to help manage anger, including safe ways to express anger, books to read and videos that can help. This post contains affiliate links. Learn more. It's starting again, as usual, right after your son gets off the school bus.

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